MARCH 2015

Empowering parents to be the best they can be

When hiring a

Baby sitter

Child

FIRST AID

Crippling

Parent

Behaviour -

Are you

damaging

your kids?

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March 2015

Contents

4

Special Features

9 22 2429 30

Choosing a babysitter Children save mum Recreating your child’s space Photography with Tina Bullying and violence

Articles

Could it be PND? To sleep or not to sleep... Inspiring kids for their future Can you afford schooling Are our actions affecting our kids Exercising when pregnant

6 10

14 16 26

Regulars

Letter from the Editor Ask a professional - questions from readers Monthly Recipe - Gluten free blueberry, quinoa and lemon muffins Did you know? with Simone Your Story - A family trio Make a Change Small Steps to business - with Chris Crowe Something Extra - by Carolyn Galbraith Kid’s fun What’s happening online

5 12 13

15 18 21 32 34 36 38

Julie-Anne

England

Dear Reader,

Welcome to the March issue of Small

Steps. This month’s issue is packed

with great articles and lots of relevant

information for mums that are pregnant

all the way to mums with young teens.

We have another new contributor to our

mix too, so we are pleased to introduce

Tina Gaddes who will be sharing her

love of photography with us and giving

us some great tips on taking profes-

sional images.

I just want to give a great big thank you

to all the contributors on our team. Each

one of them works tirelessly on their

own businesses and provides us with

fantastic content each and every month.

I would like to encourage you to check

each of them out on our website and

look at their websites to show your sup-

port.

Don’t forget to join us on social media

and share your parenting ups and

downs.

Happy parenting!

5

0415 216 186

info@smallstepsparenting.com

Www.smallstepsparenting.com

Contact us

Creative Director

Julie-Anne England

Contributing writers

Abby Fleming, Carolyn Galbraith,

Chris Crowe, Clare Christie, Dianne

Ward, Kim Hendricks, Kirsten

Mitchell, Lynne Hall, Michael Voss,

Ruth Bosanquet, Sarah Cannata,

Simone Yuen, Tina Gaddes

Join our community on

Facebook to share your

thoughts on parenting,

connect with other mums

and dads, win prizes and

get great activities and

kid ideas

Letter from

The editor

Sleep advice for infants (p10)

6

Welcoming a new baby into the world is

an experience like no other. Being a new

parent brings a whole gamut of emotions,

responsibilities and questions. Many of

which we’re completely unprepared for.

But what happens when those emotions,

responsibilities and questions become too

much? When “unprepared” becomes

“unable to cope”?

When does new parent overwhelm be-

come postnatal depression?

Current statistics tell us that postnatal

depression (PND) now affects one in 7

new mothers and one in 20 new fathers.

But despite the increased incidence of

PND in our society, there still seems to be

misunderstanding about what PND actu-

ally is and how it is treated.

Beyond the “Baby Blues”

In recent years there’s been an increased

awareness of the “Baby Blues”, that short

period of time after childbirth in which

new Mums can feel exceptionally sad or

teary for no apparent reason. This episode

generally coincides with the new Mum’s

breast milk “coming in” and is primarily

hormonal in its cause.

However, postnatal depression shouldn’t

be confused with the baby blues, because

it is something else entirely.

When feelings of sadness, hopelessness,

fear and worry extend beyond a period of

a few weeks it can signal that the mum is

in fact experiencing postnatal depression.

How do I know if it’s PND?

The difficult thing about diagnosing PND

is that the early signs and symptoms are

so similar to the general experience of

many new mums who may be over-

whelmed with their new role as a parent.

Feelings of worry, exhaustion, bouts of

tearfulness or irritability, feeling inade-

quate as a mother, feeling unable to cope,

blaming yourself when things go wrong,

being overly critical of yourself, de-

creased sex drive, difficulty concentrat-

Could it be post-natal depression?

7

ing, difficulty sleeping, loss of appetite.

The majority of mothers can relate to hav-

ing felt these emotions as a new mother –

but they are also classic symptoms of

PND. So how do we know if a Mum is

just “going through a rough patch”, as

opposed to something more serious?

With the early stages of depression there

is no definitive test you can take which

will answer “yes” or “no” to the question

of “do I have postnatal depression?”.

Which is why I always encourage anyone

who might be worried they have PND to

seek support from an experienced and

understanding health care worker.

In my professional opinion, it’s a case of

“better safe than sorry”, as the types of

interventions generally recommended for

a woman with mild PND are the sort of

things that would also support any mum

who is simply overwhelmed. These might

include:

One to one, or couples counselling

Relaxation and stress management

strategies

Mindfulness and meditation strategies

Changes to diet and lifestyle – includ-

ing sleep and exercise

Increased practical support around the

home

As with many other things in life, PND

generally occurs along a continuum. It is

rarely black and white. The experience of

PND can range from a mild case with the

mother experiencing just a few of the

common symptoms for a period of a few

months, through to extreme PND where a

mother may feel exceptionally hopeless

and have thoughts of self-harm or suicide.

Both examples would be considered de-

Could you have PND?

For the past two weeks or more have you felt the following on a regular or frequent

(daily) basis?

Difficulty being able to laugh and see the funny side of things

Decreased ability to look forward to enjoyable activities.

Blaming yourself unnecessarily when things have gone wrong

Feeling anxious or worried for without good reason

Feeling like things are frequently “getting on top of you”

Difficulty sleeping or sleeping excessively

Frequently feeling sad or miserable quite often

Frequent bouts of crying

Having thoughts of harming myself of others

**If you answered yes to the final point, please seek immediate support.

If you, or someone you know has been exhibiting several of these symptoms fre-

quently over a two week period or more, please advice from your doctor, midwife or

community health agency.

pression, they’re just at different levels of

intensity.

I think I could have PND – what do I

do now?

Many women put off seeking help for

PND due to a number of reasons, fre-

quently downplaying or talking themself

out of speaking up. “It’s really not that

bad”, “I’ll feel better once I get some de-

cent sleep”, “It’ll get better once my baby

is older”. These kind of assumptions can

delay women from seeking timely sup-

port.

We know that early detection and treat-

ment is the best possible course of action

for parents who experience PND. If we

can recognise the signs early, parents can

access the type of support services listed

above, and make lifestyle changes straight

away. In many cases this can help to pre-

vent the depression from becoming

worse. But when PND is left unaddressed

for long periods of time, it can escalate

rapidly, meaning more intensive treat-

ment options could be required, including

the addition of psychiatric care or antide-

pressant medication.

For anyone concerned that they, or some-

one they know, might be experiencing

PND, the best course of action is to seek

support from a health professional.

Speaking to your maternal health nurse,

midwife, obstetrician, or GP is generally

the first step. But you can also feel confi-

dent seeking out a counsellor, mental

health OT, or psychologist, which in

many cases doesn’t require a referral.

For further resources about PND, please

visit the following websites:

www.panda.org.au

www.beyondblue.org.au

www.gidgetfoundation.com.au

If you require immediate support, please

contact Lifeline on 131 114

Sarah Hausler is a Women’s Health Oc-

cupational Therapist, blogger and direc-

tor of Bloom Wellbeing. Her area of spe-

cialty is in supporting women to adjust to

the emotional and physical demands of

pregnancy, the post-natal period and

motherhood. Sarah provides individual

and group programs from Adelaide,

South Australia, as well as online mentor-

ing for mothers from around the globe,

via Skype. For more information on

Sarah visit www.bloomwellbeing.com.au

Contact Lisa 0416 030 584

www.tuttifruttilollybuffets.com.au

Weddings

Baby Showers

Parties

9

It’s babysitter time

I have done the babysitter thing from both

sides - for years I was the babysitter and

nanny and now I am a mum of two.

Babysitting is a strange business…. I un-

derstand that at times you need someone

else to look after your children but gener-

ally it involves paying a random person to

care for the most important assets in your

life for a minimal cost.

So how do most people go about getting a

babysitter? I know many utilize family

which is a cost effective and often safer

babysitting alternative but some of us

don’t have the luxury of using family

members due to distance or time re-

straints. Here I list a few tips that you can

use to get the most out of your babysitting

and feel at ease knowing your kids are in

good hands.

1. Always use a babysitter that you

are comfortable with. It doesn’t

matter whether they are close fam-

ily or friends, if you are uncom-

fortable with the thought of leav-

ing your child with them it is best

to err on the side of caution.

2. Any babysitter that you don’t

know well needs to be fully

checked out. Make sure they

have a police check and first aid

training at a complete minimum.

Get references not only from

professionals such as employers

but personal references such as

family friends to learn about

their temperament and personal-

ity.

3. Listen to your children

when they show problems with

the babysitter. If they are nor-

mally happy to be with anyone

and don’t seem to like the new

sitter, maybe you should find out

why.

4. Pay your babysitter like they are

handling your most important as-

sets because they are! Paying a

pittance shows that you underesti-

mate their job as carer. Even if you

have a small budget to work with

there are other ways of showing

your generosity such as having a

meal ready for them or providing

snacks and drinks while they are

working.

5. Create a good communication flow

between you and the babysitter.

Leave them notes about the kids in

a notebook so they know when

they last sleep, what they ate etc

and have them do the same. It

makes it easy to maintain a routine

and cover all bases when the com-

munication is good.

Overall trust your gut when it comes to

leaving your kids. If you aren’t happy,

how much fun are you going to have go-

ing out anyway?

Julie-Anne England

10

I really do understand why parents want

an idea of what their babies are doing so

they can make plans around their baby’s

feeding and sleeping times. What I don’t

understand is that most parents them-

selves don’t have a ‘routine of eat, play,

sleep’ yet are determined their baby

(often as young as 2 weeks) should feed

and sleep on command.

While most of us have a similar wake,

eat, work routine throughout the week,

we use the week-ends to relax and enjoy

less structure. By Monday morning we

are ready to fire up again for the routine

of the working week, flexible and adapt-

able to any hiccups, dramas or variations

in that time.

Why then are parents so fixated on a rou-

tine for a baby who is born with only

about 25% of their total neurological de-

velopment? It takes babies roughly 5-6

years for their brain to complete neuro-

logical development -evidenced by their

language and gross motor abilities by the

time they start school.

Babies generally don’t have feeding or

sleeping problems but sleep trainers will

tell parents their babies have sleep issues

to promote their business. Right from the

beginning, babies are driven by an in-

stinct to survive and their needs are very

simple, food, warmth, sleep and security

and are constantly providing cues as to

what they need.

Many mothers look at me guiltily when I

ask them what they really want to do

when their baby cries, “ I know it’s the

wrong thing- but I want to feed/cuddle/

sleep with my baby!” This is perfectly

normal and appropriately responsive be-

haviour. Why should a mother feel guilty

about responding to her instinct and think

that an unqualified stranger could know

more about her baby then she does?

Couples in a relationship are generally

able to watch and respond intuitively to

the verbal and non-verbal cues of each

other without needing an outsider to tell

them how to do manage their relation-

ship.

To sleep or not to sleep...

“The unnatural method of

sleep training is more

unhelpful than you think”

Some babies certainly do need more help

than others to sleep, just as some of us at

times need more help preparing for and

maintaining sleep. It doesn’t mean a baby

who can’t put himself to sleep, has a

sleep problem. The answer lies in helping

parents learn to read the cues more effec-

tively. Watching a breastfeed or a baby

using a bottle may also provide clues as

to why the baby is not settling easily as

well as giving the mother some guidance

to understanding how to feed the baby

effectively. There may be a physical or

neurological issue that needs addressing

that can affect a baby’s ability to feed

effectively or sleep easily.

Many babies who may initially respond

to sleep routines are considered to have

‘regressed’ rather than developed and

grown if they are no longer sleeping as a

‘routine’ prescribes.

I see mothers in tears as their babies lose

weight and start waking again, or their

milk supply has dropped off. I believe

helping mothers in particular (and part-

ners) watch, learn and respond to early

non verbal cues will help their babies

develop age and milestone appropriate

eating and sleeping patterns far easier

than imposing an eat sleep or play routine

the baby can’t comprehend.

Parents can a develop a positive relation-

ship with their baby and the quality of

that attachment has implications for their

baby’s ability to explore the world from a

secure base and is associated with good

psychological health as an adult (Bowlby

- pioneer of attachment theory).

I think Prof James McKenna’s tip of put-

ting yourself in your baby’s shoes and

asking yourself ‘ how would I feel if

someone did to me what I am about to do

to my baby’ is a very useful one to help

parents respond more empathetically and

intuitively to their babies and young in-

fants (2104 ABA conference).

Learning about a baby in the early weeks

and months is challenging, a cue response

approach well supported by scientific

research is a better outcome for you and

your baby. There are alternatives to con-

trolled crying, sleep and eating regimes.

There are books and help available from

qualified professionals who use gentle

approaches when you need support with

your parenting skills.

Lynne MacKensie Hall is our go-to ex-

pert for lactation and infant settling tech-

niques. Her background in midwifery

makes gives her understanding and pro-

fessional knowledge and expertise in all

areas of babyhood. You can learn more

about Lynne on our website or

www.betterbeginnings.comau or to pur-

chase from her many informative books.

www.betterbeginnings.com.au

Sensible, practical and science-based Breastfeeding and Early Parenting Guides

12

Ask a Professional...

QUESTION: I have heard that five meals per better are better for you than three. Is this true?

Hi…. An excellent question! Thank you for ask-

ing. Eating five small feeds per day is optimal for

the body’s metabolism to work well and aim to

have one serve of protein per feed. Why? When

we are regularly fueling our body every few hours

(like we do our babies!), the body takes this as a

sign to start burning what it is consuming. If we

are inconsistent with our refuelling, the body goes

into reservation mode “I better not burn this fuel

as I don’t know when the next meal is coming!”

What happens then? Food is converted into fat

stores! Yikes! Please do not hesitate to contact me

if you wish to have any further information. Warm

regards Kirsten

This answer has been supplied by Kirsten Mitchell

who is our personal trainer. You can learn more

about Kirsten on the About Us page of our web-

site. If you would like one of your questions answered please send us an email or contact

us on our facebook page.

www.facebook.com/emmajeangracedesigns

Phone: 0408 660 673

13

Monthly Recipe

GLUTEN FREE BLUEBERRY,

QUINOA AND LEMON MUFFINS

Ingredients

1 cup quinoa flour

1 cup oat flour or fa-

vourite gluten free flour

1/2 cup firmly packed

brown sugar

3 tsp baking power

pinch salt

1/2 cup oil

1 cup milk

2 eggs

1 tsp vanilla

1 tsp lemon zest

2 cups blueberries,

fresh or frozen

Method

1. Heat oven to 180 deg. Line your muffin tin with paper cups.

2. Mix together the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt in a large bowl and then set

aside.

3. Whisk together the milk, oil, eggs, lemon zest and vanilla in a smaller bowl. Add this

to the dry mixture and stir very gently being careful not to overwork, you want to get to

where it’s just barely combined.

4. Add in the blueberries and fold into the batter being careful not to break up the blue-

berries. Stir just enough to evenly distribute the blueberries throughout the batter.

5. Divide the batter evenly between the cups. Bake for 22-25 minutes until the tops are

golden brown. Move to a wire rack to completely cool. If you aren't planning to eat

these straight away, I recommend freezing and pulling out of the freezer as required.

This recipe is brought to you by Dianne Ward. Dianne is a mother of two young children,

freelance food writer and founder of e-mag The Sassy Cook. Learn more about Dianne on

our website.

This delicious healthy recipe

includes quinoa flour which

imparts a slightly earthy

flavour, so I think it works

best combining it with a

more traditional flour such

as oat or rice. These would

make excellent breakfast

muffins, with a good dollop

of yoghurt and extra blue-

berries.

14

Can you afford schooling for

your child?

Following on from a previous article last

year, when we suggested it costs a family

between $500K and $1M to educate 2

children to the age of 18, depending on

the choice of schools you send your chil-

dren to, I have been asked what is the best

account or tax structure to save for that

type of long term expense.

If one of you is either not working or are

on a lower tax bracket than the other,

which is most case is likely, it is best to

put the savings in their name so the earn-

ings on the funds are taxed at the lowest

rate. For example, currently you can earn,

including investment earnings, up to

$18,200 p.a without being eligible for

PAYE tax. The accounts that you can di-

rect these savings to can either be a Unit

Trusts which has a range of investment

options designed for your time frame and

risk profile or direct investment in to

property or shares. If the tax paid on these

investment returns are higher than your

marginal rate, you with then be eligible

for a tax refund on any tax that the Trust

has paid.

If you income is between $18,200 and

$37,000 your tax rate would be about 19%

(not including the 2% medicare levy) so

your best investment option would proba-

bly still be a Unit Trust. The income tax

bracket above $37,000 rises to 32%, 37%

or the highest rate of 45% depending on

your level of income, so an insurance

bond with a maximum tax rate of 30%

would be an option providing that you

hold the investment for a minimum of 10

years. However, with an insurance bond

you are limited to the investment options

that the insurance company offers. This

may be too restrictive for your liking as

you will not be able to choose the underly-

ing investments, such as the individual

shares.

So the short answer is, that it depends on

the long term tax bracket for you or your

spouse. It also depends on what level of

investment decisions that you want to

make with the funds, whether you want to

use a manager or do it yourself.

The most important thing is that you are

comfortable with the long term savings

strategy and that the funds are available

when you need them. With uncertain em-

ployment income, volatile investment

earnings and potential relationship break-

downs it can be tricky to budget for edu-

cation expenses that can go on well past

the age of 18 for your children.

The best strategy is to seek advice and

review it regularly to ensure that your

budget is on track.

If you have any questions on the above

please contact me at mi-

chael.voss@arrowfa.com.au.

Best wishes Michael Voss CFP

Disclaimer: This is general advice only

15

DID YOU KNOW?

Water play is an excellent activity for children. When

they pour, stir, swoosh and squeeze, they are reliev-

ing tensions and releasing their emotion. Fill a shal-

low container with water, rubber ducks, plastic cups

and plastic sea animals.

DID YOU KNOW?

The breathing technique required for blowing

bubbles will help calm your children when they

feel stressed or anxious. Play a game of blowing

bubbles with your children. Laugh and have fun.

Lovely mums, you deserve a break. Here’s a great

Summer activity for your kids: Washing toys! Let

your kids have fun washing blocks, teddy’s clothes,

doll’s dresses and any toy you can find that needs a

bit of cleaning. Maybe teddy needs a bath too. Just

remember, with any water play activity your kids will

need to be supervised, why not have a cuppa whilst

you watch them clean the toys!

Written by Simone Yuen, children’s book author, www.rainbowballs.com.au

16

So as parents we do what we think is right

and we cross our fingers that as the kids

grow up we have done an OK job.

As a father, I am constantly amazed with

how much we influence our kids and as a

professional practitioner I am even more

amazed at issues I am faced every day

through the actions of parents and the re-

sulting beliefs, habits and fear that has

been created in the elite athletes, entrepre-

neurs and kids I work with.

I have a great understanding of the uncon-

scious mind and the fundamentals that

exist in all decisions and actions. It is with

this that I share with you some of these

fundamentals that will, as a parent, give

you awareness of what you are doing that

will influence kids, and by changing you,

your children will change.

Firstly… Everything we do has

got a positive benefit.

What this means is, we do what we do

because it is beneficial for us at that time.

People smoke for a positive, they really

do! They love to fit into a group and to

stop smoking can isolate them from the

group.

Smokers also smoke because it gives them

time away from the children, a break from

work and gives them the ‘perception’ of

relaxing because they get out to socialise

or have a mental break. All smokers know

the dangers of smoking, they also under-

stand the cost and despite this… the bene-

fits to smoke out way the dangers.

So too the kids, if they wet the bed it is for

a positive benefit, I can hear soo many

parents out there now questioning…

HOW can this be a benefit?

Simple, if they have a fear of the dark…

they stay in bed.

Are our actions affecting

our kids?

17

If they don’t like sleeping alone, the glass

of water trick, the sore tummy, the cry-

ing, the constant up and down are usually

the behaviours experienced to keep you

close… knowing eventually they have to

sleep alone… so by wetting the bed, they

get attention and get to go into mum and

dad’s bed! WIN!!! In their mind and they

will keep wetting the bed because of the

benefit.

Now I am not able to cover all situations

in all behaviours in one article, I can cer-

tainly give you many examples of this.

Examples of this in parents may be in

weight loss in people. In my experience,

being the weight you are is beneficial for

you at this time. It serves you to be in this

situation because of a natural process that

is evolution… for millions of years it was

‘survival of the Fattest’, an abundance of

food meant comfort and safety. So by

forcing ourselves into a super fit state is

against nature.

I have also experienced a very high por-

tion of overweight people have created

this physical barrier based on previous

unwanted attention. The intention is to

keep people from getting close, as soon

as they start losing weight the uncon-

scious mind (90% of how we think act

and behave) becomes aware of gaining

attention and somehow self protection

cuts in and up goes the weight again.

People call it self sabotage… nature calls

it protection from potential hurt or harm,

physically or emotionally.

OHHHH that was a bit deep, it is true

though, we have to be aware that all our

actions and those of your kids are for a

positive for them … at the time.

And there is another addition, ‘at the

time’ kids have a now mentality, they

don’t plan for the future, so every action

as bad or weird as it seems to you, is right

for them at the time as they are not aware

of ‘consequence’ and ‘in the future’.

I am sure you have heard the saying ‘the

best way to change your kids… is to

change yourself’.

This is soo true. Just for today, think of

every action, reaction, word and habit…

they are copying, listening and learning.

If you don’t think kids listen??? They

don’t need to, they watch. And communi-

cation is 7% words, they do not need to

listen.

If you knew your kids would grow up

and do everything you do, what would

you change today to become the best ver-

sion that they can copy themselves off?

Have an interesting and very conscious

day!

Stuart Walter is as Clinical Hypno-therapist and NLP practitioner. Stuart is also a father and with the knowledge about how our minds work and stories he used for his own son, he created a world first concept in dealing with building confidence and dealing with kids issues. See www.stuartwalter.com

www.meta4kids.com

18

Your Story - A family trio

When did you find out you were having

twins?

At seven weeks. I knew I was pregnant and

wanted some reassurance after an earlier

miscarriage. ‘There it is’, said the sonogra-

pher, pointing to the screen. ‘Wait, I think I

can see a second one’. It was the moment

that changed my life.

At the 20-week ultrasound, we couldn’t

wait to find out the makeup of our family.

We’d agreed that two children were ideal

for our family, and we knew the twins would be the same gender because they were

identical. We were delighted to discover they were boys.

The sonographer checked them from top to toe. She commented that the boys were

cuddling so much that they’d tangled their legs together and she couldn’t tell which

foot belonged to which baby. At the time we thought nothing of it – we just thought it

was cute that the babies were already affectionate towards each other.

How were the early days?

I was scheduled for a C-section at 38 weeks because of the high risk with identical

twins. It was a daunting experience even though I trusted my obstetrician and was

comfortable with the decision. I remember the epidural and then about twenty people

introducing themselves all at once. All I could think of was ‘please get these babies

out of me’, ‘I wonder who they’ll look like’, and ‘I can’t believe I’m about to be a

mummy’. We were so relieved when the twins were born without complications, but

soon afterwards we were told they had ‘turned-in feet’. I had no idea what that meant.

We called the boys Owen and Hugh. Hugh was born with hypoglycemia so spent the

first few days in the Special Care Nursery, but Owen was allowed to visit me. The

paediatrician also visited numerous times to update me on the boys’ feet. Both were

born with talipes, a condition affecting one or both of a baby’s feet from birth, where

their foot is turned inwards and downwards. Talipes is commonly known as clubfoot.

Both of Owen’s feet were affected and one of Hugh’s. We heard from physiothera-

pists and watched DVDs to help us learn more about the condition.

I met Lisa, Owen and Hugh in 2013 at their family home in Canberra. The boys were just

over three and I vividly recall the moment I entered the house. These two little dudes had

a certain something and, whatever it was, I wanted some! It was simple, really. They

were overflowing with life and energy. I tried to capture it on camera as they raced up

and down in the yard. Here I talk with their mother.

19

My sister had researched that the best treatment for talipes was available at Westmead

Children’s Hospital in Sydney, a three-hour drive from home. We travelled the six-

hour round trip once a week for nine weeks. At each appointment the boys would

have casts reapplied from the tops of their thighs to their toes as part of a gradual

process to adjust their feet into the correct position. Then at 12 weeks, they had sur-

gery on their Achilles tendons.

How did you manage as a single mum?

My husband and I separated a couple of months after Owen and Hugh turned two. We

agreed that I would have full custody of the boys, and all of a sudden I was a single

mum. Luckily, I had an amazing support network of family and friends, especially my

parents. They helped me more than I can ever repay them for.

Owen and Hugh were, and will always be, my everything. At first, it was upsetting to

see families having Sunday picnics and kids at the zoo with their mum and dad hold-

ing hands. However, as a little trio, we made the most of what we had. I was the mum

who played tag with the boys in the playground, and took them down the big slides. I

was more involved than I had ever been. Before, the adults talked while the kids

played, but with no other adult around, I became a big kid too. We loved it.

How long was the boys’ treatment?

Owen and Hugh’s Pa, my dad, came with us for the boys’ Westmead Hospital ap-

pointments from when they were two. After their Achilles tendons operations, they

wore leather boots with a metal bar attached. From three to six months of age, the

boys wore these boots and bars for twenty-three hours a day. Then from six months to

four years of age, they wore them for twelve hours at night. It was an emotional battle

watching them so restricted, while knowing it was best for them.

It was hard to stay strong on the nights they pleaded with me to take their boots and

bars off. I was nervous about their final appointment, as I’d been waiting for four long

years to hear their specialist say that their treatment was over. I knew how devastated

I’d be if he’d said the treatment had to continue. We were delighted to hear that the

treatment was finished. Instead of being carried, an elated Owen and Hugh walked

proudly to bed that night, singing ‘No boots and bars, no boots and bars’. These days

we just have occasional check-ups.

As the boys have grown up I’ve adjusted to our family of three, and I couldn’t be hap-

pier. Being a single mum of twins is special. Even though I’m often the odd one out,

I’ve realised there are many benefits of bringing up my amazing little men alone. I get

to make all the decisions without compromise, for the benefit of the boys and to give

them the life I know they truly deserve. Although my little family trio is not many

people’s idea, I know it’s right for us.

Segment from: A World of Twins, Stories and images of Australian twins, triplets

and their families

First published 2015 © Helga Dalla 2015

ISBN: 978-0-9870780-3-2

20 20

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21

Email your Mum of the Year nomination to info@smallstepsparenting.com by 15th April

2015.

Change Change Make a

With Mother’s Day coming up in few short months we want to celebrate a

special mother from the community and we want your help!

Do you know a mother who deserves to be pampered? Maybe she has

struggled with her health, survived a health scare, has a lot of children or is

a real super mum! Please write in and tell us about why you think she de-

serves to be honoured.

One lucky lady will be chosen to receive a pamper session, including hair

and makeup, a massage and a “Mum of the year” recognition.

Small Steps Mum of the Year!!

Children save mum’s life

22

WHEN Mum Maria col-

lapsed unconscious at home

recently, her young children

flew into action.

While many kids would

panic, the 11-year-old and

nine-year-old remained

calm and got their mum the

help she desperately

needed.

Maria said it happened after

her husband had gone out to

visit friends.

"I was home with the two

kids - my son, who is 11, and my daugh-

ter, who is nine," she said.

"I'd come home from work, had a shower

and had been feeling unwell so I went to

lie down.

"My daughter called out to me, so I got up

and went into the hallway and I blacked

out and collapsed."

Maria said everyone should learn basic

first aid, so they know what to do in an

emergency.

Her son said he was watching TV and

heard a bang, looked down the hallway

and saw his mum lying on the floor.

"I put her on her back, she wasn't breath-

ing and I started CPR, which my dad had

taught me," he said.

While he was doing that, his sister phoned

000.

"They told me to check her pulse, it felt

like a really long time waiting for the am-

bulance," he said.

"It just highlights how important basic

first aid is, because you never know when

you will need it," he said.

Maria’s doctor at the hospital that night

said it was vital children knew what to do

in a similar situation.

"Maria's case is a beautiful example of

how we want our kids to act in an emer-

gency” said their Dad

"Children, even at a young age, should be

aware of the emergency systems around

us and respond to challenges as they arise.

"A prompt phone call to 000 with a clear

story of the reason for the call can be life

saving."

23

Avoidable Deaths

How many times have we read or heard in

the news, about children saving a parent

or grandparents life, because the child

knew what to do in an emergency? Even

to call 000?

Primary school kids learn first aid

Some school students in first aid courses,

learn how to apply bandages and slings,

how to recognise serious conditions like

heart attacks, and dealing with cuts and

burns.

It is really important that children feel

confident, if they come across any prob-

lems that they know what to do.

Children are never too young to learn first

aid, and by school age, there is plenty

they can do.

They can be taught, how to be calm in a

first aid situation, to be able to deal with

bleeding. If they see somebody who's got

a major bleed and put pressure on it, they

could save a parent’s or friend’s life.

Students find the course useful and are

more confident, that they know what to

do if a friend was hurt in the playground,

or even an unwell parent at home.

Children can be taught CPR, control of

bleeding, how to treat a burn and how to

put someone into the recovery position.

The sooner children learn first aid the

better. It has become a well known fact,

that some children have saved the life of a

family member or friend from simple

basic first aid knowledge. We always

hope that the skills taught to the children

will never be needed, however if they are,

it may just be enough to save a life.

Kim Hendricks is the Director of Citadel

First Aid in Castle Hill, mum of two and

has experience in Pharmacy and Child-

care. Her role as first aid trainer helps

her to save lives and teach the vital skills

to others. Learn more about Kim on our

website or www.citadelfirstaid.com

Why not encourage your child’s school to hold a first aid course for the students and parents? Schools can arrange first aid courses by contacting CITADEL FIRST AID on 1300854353 or citadelfirstaid@gmail.com

First aid is an essential skill for the entire family to learn. Learning CPR and what to do in an emergency could save your child’s life or even your own, if the children also learn these skills.

To book a first aid course call Citadel First Aid on 1300854353 or go to www.citadelfirstaid.com for more details.

24

Recreating your child’s

space

MAKE IT PERSONAL

Your child's bedroom isn't just some-

where to store clothes, toys and sleep -

It's their haven. With having to share toys

with brothers and sisters, the bedroom

can be a retreat where they can go do

what they feel like without being dis-

turbed (most times) and really foster their

creative skills

IT'S A GROUP EFFORT

No one knows their child's interests better

than mum and dad, but recreating your

child's space should include your child at

every stage! Not only can re-decorating

make you feel refreshed and rejuvenated

in general, but it's a process your child

will likely enjoy being a part of. Helping

make decisions and provide ideas assists

in opening lines of communication, con-

versation and a wonderful opportunity to

create memories.

WORK WITH WHAT YOU'VE GOT

This needn't be an expensive task. Sure

it's easy to flick through home magazines

showing the newest and trendiest items

out there but take these pages and use

them as inspiration, certainly not law. A

beautiful, warm and welcoming space

can be created with both a big budget or

tiny budget.

SOMETHING FOR EVERY SUR-

FACE

First things first! A room is made up of at

least four walls, a floor and a ceiling -

obvious yes, but are all surfaces given the

same attention? not usually! and then

there's all that space in the middle to play

with!

FLOOR

Rugs & Mats are a great way to cover

old carpet and tiles that have seen better

days. Play with scale, shape, texture &

material. If you consider yourself quite

crafty this is a great way to show your

child how to crochet or knit a small mat -

Pinterest is a fantastic source for DIY

tutorials, with some great results seen

using torn up old t-shirts as the material

A child comes with a

growing and ever curi-

ous mind and we can

always aim to do a little

thing here and there to

tweak a space to spark

those creative power-

houses!

25

crocheted into a rug. Another alternative

is to buy a cheap plain coloured flat

weave rug and paint on your own design.

Amazing things can be done with items

you already own.

*Hint* A cute thin rug can also make a

gorgeous wall hanging - go on, throw it

up there - I dare you!

CEILINGS

Most ceilings are blank, but if you're

looking up there every now and then

why not have something interesting to

look at? If you have the budget look into

an interesting suspension light. If not,

what about creating some real visual

interest by installing an LED light bulb

that changes colour? These can be pur-

chased from your supermarket and for a

small outlay you can pop in a new bulb

that gives you all the colours of the rain-

bow and a small remote that controls

these very features (Have a look next

time you're in the supermarket or the

hardware store). Another low effort and

high impact suggestion would be decals -

who said they could only go on walls?

Lots of fun for kids and changes the look

of the entire room for a minimal amount.

WALLS

A wall without art is like an egg with no

salt! Not only does art create visual inter-

est, but it adds height to the room by the

very action of 'looking up' . Concerned

you're in a rental and don't want to leave

holes? then 3M velcro tabs are your best

friend! Mix up a wall cluster with framed

pieces, loose pieces hung by bulldog

clips that can be easily refreshed and

bunting (again, some great DIY tutorials

can be found online). Feeling extra

crafty? spray paint plastic figurines

(think army action figures, a handful of

those 'barrel of monkeys' or old Lego

pieces) in your favourite colour and hot

glue into a box frame - instant personal-

ised 3D art! (and it gets a more toys off

the floor!)

EVERYTHING INBETWEEN

How about that bed? why not block col-

our the fitted sheet, flat sheet and doona.

If the budget isn't allowing for an overall

change then get crazy with the pillows

alone! A cute cushion or two (in interest-

ing shapes and textures) can do wonders

for a bedspread.

Do you have a spot on a shelf that could

home a little succulent or cactus? a plant

doesn't have to be boring in your child's

space - bring out the Venus fly traps!

How about that study desk or play table -

is it looking a little tired? how about

painting some geometric patterns on top

or collaging some favourite pictures? Is

that dresser or cupboard looking a little

sad? invest in some new handles to really

change the feel of the piece and bring it

back to life.

You'll probably realise a lot of these sug-

gestions can be used throughout the home

and not just your child's space - why not

look into refreshing another room and

getting your young designer to help in the

design process too?

"Happiness lies in the joy of achievement

and the thrill of creative effort."

Franklin D. Roosevelt

DIY TUTORIALS

http://diymakeit.com/diy-rug-t-shirts/

http://upcycledtreasures.com/2014/08/diy

-painted-rug-inspired-west-elm/

http://sayyes.com/2014/08/diy-bedside-

pom-pom-rug.html

http://ruffledblog.com/tissue-paper-

garland-tutorial/

Crystal Amesbury is an Interior Designer

For more information ph: 0401 651 409

crystal@crystalamesbury.com

www.crystalamesbury.com

26

Congratulations! Whether you are preg-

nant with your first baby or subsequent, it

is a time of mixed emotions – exciting

new beginnings, changes of lifestyle, rou-

tines and workload. During this time, the

pregnant woman generally becomes en-

gaged with eating well for growing a new

life, resting, preparing the house and exist-

ing family members (including the furry

ones!). Women who have been physically

active up to falling pregnant may wish to

continue with their exercise regime but

may think it is not possible or advisable.

Meanwhile many non-exercising women

wish to commence to exercise when preg-

nant as the new life they are nurturing

stimulates a desire to adopt a more posi-

tive attitude to healthy behaviour.

The great news is that research has deter-

mined that moderate exercising when

pregnant (if low risk) not only leaves the

mum feeling good, it is also beneficial for

maternal fitness and bub post natal. The

influence that moderate exercise during

pregnancy has been linked to a reduction

in baby birth weight, which may result in

less birthing trauma and improved child-

hood and adulthood weight levels.

When can I start exercising?

Some of us learn very early when we are

pregnant and although may be dying to

shout out the good news to the world,

choose to wait until the safety of

the first trimester

is finished

to share

the news.

During

this time,

you may

feel completely normal albeit a little fa-

tigued or you could be very sick with

morning sickness. So for those who al-

ready have an exercise regime, you may

be wishing to continue “business as usual”

whilst you have not shared your news.

You can, however whilst the organ devel-

opment is occurring, it best to avoid high

intensity programs.

If you are wishing to commence an exer-

cise program for the first time, remember

this is not the time to try and set any

world records! Firstly discuss with your

health care provider your level of health

and physical fitness readiness.

In both cases, DO confidentially advise

your gym, fitness instructor of a class and

or personal trainer, they are there to keep

you safe! They may ask you to obtain a

medical clearance from your physician to

exercise. Be aware – not all fitness in-

structors and personal trainers are spe-

cially trained for pre and post natal fitness.

Exercising when pregnant

27

What kind of exercising should I do?

Once you have the green light from your

health care provider to commence / con-

tinue exercising, start with moderate

aerobic activity such as walking, swim-

ming, bike riding. Avoid running, high

impact gym classes, high load of weights

and abdominal crunching style of exer-

cises.

Moderate aerobic activity is important as

it is conditioning your heart’s health…

greatly needed in birthing and for the

interest of your longevity! Keeping your

heart rate moderately high as opposed to

racing is important, as your pregnant

body is already in an “exercising” state

with an increase of blood volume, cardiac

output and higher resting heart rate.

As you progress through your pregnancy,

many physical changes occur from hor-

monal whereby relaxin affects joints,

ligaments and more; weight gain which

can increase stress on joints and organs;

changes to balance due to postural altera-

tion (more load on joints!); altered ab-

dominal mechanics and pelvic floor.

Taking all this into consideration, you

may decide to exercise under the guid-

ance of a fitness instructor / class quali-

fied in pre natal exercise. The types of

highly beneficial classes for the pregnant

woman to attend are Pre Natal Pilates,

Pre Natal Yoga, Aqua Aerobics, General

fitness groups specifically for pregnant

women or 1:1 with a qualified Personal

Trainer.

What can I do by myself at home?

Lots! As previously mentioned, the

stress on your joints is a chief concern,

particularly in the pelvic region. The

double edged sword is….if you don’t

exercise you could be doing your body a

disservice too – so what to do?

Do

Walking. Not only is it good for the

heart, it also aids digestion!

Keep your pelvis in alignment with

hips, knees and feet – keep every-

thing stacked! Pelvic tilting, quadru-

peds, down dog,

Work on strengthening the pelvic

floor muscle

Work on leg strengthening: squats,

short lunges

Work on arm, shoulders and back

strengthening: bicep curling, shoul-

der pressing, lat pull downs

Activate the transverse abdominals

(they reach from the back and join to

the sides of the body), they support

the lower back and lower the risk of

abdominal muscle separation: belly

draw ins when on all fours

Meditate and concentrate on your

breathe awareness

Examples:

Leg strength

Our legs can take a hammering during

pregnancy with added and sometimes

sudden weight gain leading up to B-

Day…then on the day labouring can be a

big workout including endurance. So

strong legs allows your body to cope bet-

ter at the time and recover quicker.

Squats: body weight squatting with feet

stacked under your hips, going as low as

you can and squeezing glutes on the way

up. Try squatting with your back and

shoulders to the wall for support.

Breathe in going down and out as you

return up.

10 repetitions and hold last one in the

squat position for a count of 10

28

Spinal alignment, core and balance

Keeping the spine stable will help keep

the pelvis stable and give you better bal-

ance. Remembering the pelvis is cradling

bubs, so we need to ensure that the pelvis

and spine are doing their best to support

this growing bub.

Quadrupeds: kneeling on all fours, with

wrists stacked under shoulders and knees

directly under hips. Keep your back as

level as possible, eyes to floor. Take op-

posite arm with opposite leg and reach

them away from the body, try and really

stretch away and return, slowly transition

to the other side. Imagine you are balanc-

ing a glass of water on your lower

back….to keep your hips stable!

10 repetitions per side.

Pelvic Floor

This muscle is hammock-like that holds

all the pelvic organs including the uterus

UP! Hence exercising this muscle is vital

for pre and post natal health for the fe-

male. During pregnancy with the gravita-

tional load bearing down on the pelvic

floor, it becomes weakened so leakage

from either bowel or bladder can occur.

Simply exercising it as frequently as pos-

sible can strengthen it.

Contract the muscles around your front and back passage and vagina, and lift

up inside as if trying to stop passing wind and urine. Lift these up as high as

you can and count to 10 and then let them fully go. Repeat 3 times. Practice short pulses, for fast twitch reac-

tions (ie coughing and sneezing). Lift up

your Pelvic Floor and count 1-2 and re-

lease, repeat 10 times. To avoid urinary

tract infections, never try to lift your pel-

vic floor midstream whilst urinating.

Kirsten Mitchell is our fitness profes-

sional. You can learn more about Kirsten

at Moves to Motivate or from our website

on the About Us section.

Need someone to help you get through the tough times?

Someone to give advice and most importantly, solutions?

How I can help you?

I provide remote coaching service via Skype, to help people deal with

issues which are preventing them from moving forward. These issues

include stress, depression, negative emotions, low confidence, and just

general advice on how to best balance multiple things at once. As a par-

ent, this is very valuable since you don't have the time to seek out coaches who are specialized in these fields. With our remote coaching

service, you can get this coaching support, right from your home or

workplace.

To organize your remote coaching service with David, please

send an email to: enquiry@nlpapac.com

29

Hi there! My name is Tina and I'm

a photography addict – I love to

look at great pictures, I love to take

great pictures and most of all I

LOVE having fabulous images of

my sweet babies. (oh, and I happen

to be a photographer at Stellar Im-

ages). I'm fairly certain that I'm not

the only mummy out there who

spends a large amount of time try-

ing to get her babes to not crawl

away when the camera comes out,

and hopes and prays for that one

heart stopping pic to pop up on

Instagram to show the world why I'm so immensly proud of them. So, to facilitate

our common image addiction I'm going to be providing you with tips every issue on

the mechanics of taking the very best photos you can. Stopping the babies from

crawling away is going to have to be up to you!

Of all the possible tips I could give you, one of the most important things you need

to focus on above all else is capturing the spirit and emotion of the moment. You

can have a technically perfect photo that is devoid of feeling – if you think about it

some of the most amazing images in photographic history don't have the subject

looking at the camera. So mummy, feel free to sneak up on your precious babe

while they are completely engrossed in what they are doing. That photo of your

little man with paint all over his face and a death grip on a giant paint brush will

make you giggle for years to come – it conveys so much even though he's not star-

ing directly into your lens. In summary – your homework task is to suppress the

overwhelming urge to pop up and yell “Look at the camera sweetie! Say cheese!”

Capture the tiny fleeting moments of their lives.

Did you manage to capture an amazing quiet moment this month? Tag us with

#littlephotographysteps

Much love, Tina

Bullying and violence why we need to stand together

According to Bullying. No Way!, Austra-

lian research suggests that up to one in

four tudents have experienced some level

of bulling.

So, what is considered ‘bullying’? Re-

searches have defined bullying in numer-

ous ways but according to The National

Safe Schools Framework, bullying is de-

fined as repeated verbal, physical, social

or psychological behaviour that is harmful

and involves the misuse of power by an

individual or group towards one or more

persons.

If the situation wasn’t already complicated

enough, the ever-increasing popularity of

the internet has thrown a spanner in the

works in the form of cyberbullying. This

is defined as bullying through information

and communication technologies (for ex-

ample, the internet or mobile devices).

This month marks the National Day of

Action against Bullying and Violence

which is held annually on the third Friday

of March. In 2015, it will be celebrated on

Friday, 20th March.

There’s no doubt that as a parent, two of

the harder issues you’ll face are bullying

and violence. Regardless of whether your

child is on the receiving end or is the cul-

prit, chances are, you won’t know how to

react.

Bullying. No Way! says that aggressive

language such as ‘Get tough on bullies’,

can actually become part of the bullying

problem on a wider level. As parents, it’s

only natural that if your child is being

bullied for you to become defensive.

Bullying. No Way! cites three strategies

that aren’t recommended for dealing with

bullying:

Fighting back

Bullying the person who has bul-

lied them

Remaining silent

So, as a parent, what can you do? The

Bullying. No Way! website advises par-

30

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scribe to the gorgeous full colour print version to

receive it right to your door!

www.smallstepsparenting.com

info@smallstepsparenting.com

ents to:

1. Listen carefully to your child and

what they want to say

2. Reassure them that they’re not to

blame and ask open/empathetic questions

to find out more details

3. Ask your child what they’d like to do

and what they want you to do

4. Discuss a range of sensible strategies

to handle the bullying: fighting back isn’t

sensible

Contact your child’s school

If your child feels safe, the website cites

the following suggestions for parents to

pass onto their children to counteract

verbal or social bullying:

Walk away

Try to act unaffected or unimpressed

Attempt to deflect the bullying be-

haviour

Say ‘No!’ or ‘Stop it!’ firmly

Talk to a trusted adult at school or at

home

Bullying is a complex issue – while a ‘get

tough on bullying’ approach may work in

the short-term, both relationship and so-

cial factors need to be addressed.

In a nutshell, we should avoid adopting

an ‘us’ and ‘them’ mind-set: people

(including parents, teachers and so on)

need to work together in order to create a

safer and more nurturing environment for

our kids.

Sarah Cannata is the Communications

Manager for HelpMeChoose.com.au. The

online comparison service compares pri-

vate health insurance, energy, life insur-

ance and home loans. Feel free to email

Sarah at:

sarah.cannata@helpmechoose.com.au

31

A couple of months ago, a real s#*t

storm hit someone in the business circles

that I move in as a Virtual Assistant.

Now, please excuse the French, but this

was a huge, huge incident that has totally

destroyed one woman’s business, and

even worse, her reputation. She may

never recover either her credibility or her

clients.

So I thought it would be a good idea to

let you know what happened, so that you

are super-aware of not making the same

mistake… although to be honest, mis-

take is probably not the right word for

it… disastrous brain-fade is probably

more apt!

The lady in question is a coach and men-

tor and has built up some wonderful

products and packages that she has sold

on her site for years. I’ve been follow-

ing her for years and have even pur-

chased a few things from her to build up

my own business knowledge.

A couple of months before it all hit the

fan, her approach to selling changed and

became more aggressive and “salesy”. I

noticed it and thought it unusual, but

didn’t give it too much thought beyond

that. She then introduced a couple of

really awesome-sounding packages and

training courses and started selling them

off her website.

The storm hit when it was revealed that

the new courses she was offering were in

fact a direct copy of courses that some-

one else in another industry had been

running and selling for years! She had

done an absolute copy and paste – she

hadn’t even re-written any of the content

in some vague attempt to make it her

own!

As well as this – the salesy emails were

also lifted from that person’s emails

(which is why they sounded so different

to her previous communication style).

The original author of the products

found out about it after someone who

had purchased both products realised

that they were identical! Naturally (and

quite rightly), she was furious and

sought legal advice on the matter.

The author tried to contact the lady who

was copying her stuff and didn’t hear

back from her for a number of days.

In this day of social media, the original

author then put a post up in her private

group naming and shaming. What hap-

pened next is what destroyed the reputa-

tion of the lady who did the copying… it

went viral…

Don’t be a Cheater!

32

and I mean, seriously viral in the business

circles I mix in! People started sharing the

original post on all sorts of Facebook

groups, including the coach and mentor’s

(who stole the content) own page. Be-

cause it’s a global village we live in, she

didn’t see any of the posts until hours after

they were posted – it was night-time when

it all started, so she woke up to people

talking about the issue in many, many

groups.

She sought legal advice and took down the

offending packages, but quite frankly, the

damage was done. She has admitted that

she copied the content and now her credi-

bility and her business is damaged, quite

probably beyond repair. There are literally

thousands and thousands of people who

now know what she did.

So, my point for this article this month, is

whatever you do, please, please, always

post original content. If you’re “not crea-

tive”, then hire a copy-writer to write con-

tent for you. Let them know what you

want your message to be and that you

want original content that matches your

brand.

(A great tip before you post anything writ-

ten for you, is to put it through Copyscape

at http://www.copyscape.com/ . This site

is a wonderful site where you can check to

see if your site, or any content has been

used before.)

And please remember, don’t be tempted to

take short cuts with your content, and

never, ever steal content from anyone.

Chances are very high that you will get

caught and all hell could break loose, just

as it has for this lady I know.

Until next month,

Chris Crowe

Specialist VA Coach

www.c2admin.com.au

If you have a business question you would

like addressed in an article, please email

Chris at chris@c2admin.com.au and she

will endeavour to answer them in an up-

coming edition.

33

34

What? I meant Constructive Play, didn't

I?

No one who has ever spent any time

around two year olds would disagree that

little kids really enjoy breaking things. If

big sister has just finished building a

tower, you can be sure little sister will

come along and knock it down, with great

pleasure. You've just completed that thou-

sand piece jigsaw puzzle? All the fun you

had putting it together is nothing to the

sheer joy of toddler tearing it apart.

At my block play centre, Kids Build To-

gether, I have noticed that some children

when faced with blocks that seem chal-

lenging to them will start to throw them

or destroy the work of another child

(often a sibling). I've noticed other chil-

dren anticipating with great excitement

the moment before a block tower falls

down – the sounds, the sight of the tum-

bling blocks.

The destructive impulse is one that can be

seen as something negative which we

need to train out of children. We survive

those early years of putting anything

breakable out of reach and wait for the

days when the kids will use toys

'properly'. Of course no one wants their

homes torn apart. But is there anything

positive about 'destructive' play?

I think there is. If you look at what a little

child does with a new object, there's

something we can all learn from. Children

see the whole object and are immediately

curious – what's inside it? What's it made

of? What small parts make up this entire

object?

These are questions that we often don't

ask ourselves. You receive a new smart-

phone. You might investigate what it does

– but how often do you take a look at

what it's made from? Do you have a clue

what's inside the cover – and are you curi-

ous about it? A child is.

A child wants to know what happens

when you pull up those flowers by the

roots. Where are the roots and what do

they look like?

Destructive

Play

35

What happens when I pull each petal off,

and what about the funny stuff inside?

What happens if I squeeze all the tooth-

paste out of the tube, all the soap from the

bottle? If I take the back off the clock,

what fascinating pieces will I find?

There are, of course, safety reasons for

keeping a lot of items out of reach – poi-

sons, choking hazards, sharp edges. And

there are economical reasons too – who

can afford to replace the toothpaste every

day? But allowing children time, space,

and freedom to pull things apart can be

important. It encourages children to fol-

low their instincts of curiosity, of wonder.

It allows children to understand that there

are many parts to a whole. And it sup-

ports individual interests and passions.

Give children some space in the garden

that is theirs to deconstruct. Allow them

to knock down the blocks without a nega-

tive comment. Give older children, with

supervision, old objects to pull apart, like

alarm clocks or battery-operated toys

(check online beforehand that the object

doesn't contain any dangerous chemicals,

and cut off electrical cords).

Give them clear

boundaries around

things that can and

can't be pulled apart,

understanding that small

children can't appreciate the

monetary value of items or

the difficulty of putting

things back together.

If you have a child who is

very destructive, please take

the time to observe what it is he or she

enjoys about destructive play. Is it the

sound – the feel – the excitement – or

your reaction? What could you provide to

give your child that experience, without

your cherished objects being under threat?

Let's honour the impulse of curiosity and

wonder which our children have, and try

to support their quest for knowledge

through destructive as well as construc-

tive play.

Learn more about Carolyn on our About

Us section of our website.

Kids Fun!

36

Spot the difference These two pictures have five differences.

See if you can find them.

37

S U M M E R A H A P P Y

A S M A T L L B I R T H

N D A R O E X C I T E D

D E R J W K P O F A W V

N G P R E W A Y F J O P

Q E I F L V P A R K N T

E D C G S H J K I T S P

Z A N T S X F B E A C H

G I I P F G T W N A H F

C P C Y L C V B D E O F

H L J K W A V E S W O T

S A O G D G U E E H L K

Q Y V U R R E G R D N L

E T U I D A V N H D E P

H W T J I S S E Q U J G

F A M I L Y W S U N R R

Summer Sand Towels Clouds

Beach Waves Excited Play

Friends Park Ants Laugh

Family School Grass Sun

Picnic Happy

Find a Word - Find the words from the list, words can be vertical,

horizontal and diagonal

38

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