looking out/looking in eleventh edition

Looking Out/Looking InLooking Out/Looking InEleventh EditionEleventh Edition

Chapter One:Chapter One:

A First Look at Interpersonal RelationshipsA First Look at Interpersonal Relationships

Ronald B. Adler, Russell F. Proctor II, and Neil TowneRonald B. Adler, Russell F. Proctor II, and Neil Towne

Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth 2

Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal RelationshipsChapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships

The Importance of The Importance of CommunicationCommunication

• The Power of Silence

• The Power of Isolation

• Contact and Companionship



We Communicate to Satisfy We Communicate to Satisfy Needs Needs Physical NeedsPhysical Needs

•Link Between Link Between

Communication and Communication and

Physical Well-beingPhysical Well-being

•Quality and Quantity Quality and Quantity

Vary By IndividualsVary By Individuals

““We must love one another or die.”We must love one another or die.”W.H. AudenW.H. Auden



We Communicate to Satisfy We Communicate to Satisfy NeedsNeeds Identity NeedsIdentity Needs

•We Learn Who We are We Learn Who We are

Through CommunicationThrough Communication

•We Come to See Ourselves We Come to See Ourselves

as Others See Usas Others See Us

Six Communication Tricks http://www.pamf.org/teen/parents/emotions/lifeskills/lifesks4.html

Six Communication Tricks http://www.pamf.org/teen/parents/emotions/lifeskills/lifesks4.html



We Communicate to Satisfy We Communicate to Satisfy NeedsNeeds Social NeedsSocial Needs• Pleasure Pleasure

• AffectionAffection

• CompanionshipCompanionship

• EscapeEscape

• RelaxationRelaxation

• ControlControl“Who can enjoy alone?”Who can enjoy alone?”

John Milton John Milton Paradise LostParadise Lost



We Communicate to Satisfy We Communicate to Satisfy NeedsNeeds Practical (Instrumental) Practical (Instrumental) GoalsGoals• Communication Skills Top Communication Skills Top

Factor in Getting JobsFactor in Getting Jobs

• Keeping Job and Keeping Job and Advancement Tied to Advancement Tied to Communication SkillsCommunication Skills



We Communicate to Satisfy We Communicate to Satisfy NeedsNeeds Maslow’s Basic NeedsMaslow’s Basic Needs

Maslow’s Maslow’s

Hierarchy of Hierarchy of

NeedsNeeds






NeedsNeeds



The Process of The Process of CommunicationCommunicationA Linear ViewA Linear View



The Process of The Process of CommunicationCommunicationA Linear ViewA Linear View • SenderSender

– EncodingEncoding

– MessageMessage

– ChannelChannel

– DecodingDecoding

• ReceiverReceiver

– NoiseNoise

• External (physical)External (physical)

• PhysiologicalPhysiological

• PsychologicalPsychological

– EnvironmentsEnvironments



The Process of The Process of CommunicationCommunication A Transactional ViewA Transactional View



The Process of The Process of CommunicationCommunication A Transactional ViewA Transactional View• Communicator Replaces SenderCommunicator Replaces Sender

• We Send and Receive Messages We Send and Receive Messages

Simultaneously Simultaneously

• Communicators Often Occupy Communicators Often Occupy

Different EnvironmentsDifferent Environments



The Process of The Process of CommunicationCommunication A Transactional View (con’t)A Transactional View (con’t)• Communication Channels Retain ImportanceCommunication Channels Retain Importance

• Noise Continues to Be ImportantNoise Continues to Be Important

• Communication is With Others, Not To ThemCommunication is With Others, Not To Them

• Relational Communication is UniqueRelational Communication is Unique



Question:Question:

When Tomas failed his calculus exam, he was When Tomas failed his calculus exam, he was so upset that he couldn’t understand the so upset that he couldn’t understand the explanations provided by his professor. This explanations provided by his professor. This example best illustrates:example best illustrates:

a. external noisea. external noiseb. physiological noiseb. physiological noisec. psychological noisec. psychological noised. feedback noised. feedback noise



Communication PrinciplesCommunication Principles

• Communication Can Be Intentional Communication Can Be Intentional

or Unintentionalor Unintentional

• It’s Impossible Not to CommunicateIt’s Impossible Not to Communicate

• Communication is IrreversibleCommunication is Irreversible

• Communication is UnrepeatableCommunication is Unrepeatable



Avoiding Communication Avoiding Communication MisconceptionsMisconceptions

• Meanings are Not in Words Meanings are Not in Words • Successful Communication Doesn’t Always Successful Communication Doesn’t Always

Involve UnderstandingInvolve Understanding• More Communication is Not Always BetterMore Communication is Not Always Better• No Single Person or Event Causes Another’s No Single Person or Event Causes Another’s

ReactionReaction• Communication Will not Solve All ProblemsCommunication Will not Solve All Problems



Nature of Interpersonal Nature of Interpersonal CommunicationCommunication-Two Views-Two Views• Quantitative—DyadicQuantitative—Dyadic• QualitativeQualitative

– UniquenessUniqueness– IrreplaceabilityIrreplaceability– InterdependenceInterdependence– DisclosureDisclosure– Intrinsic RewardsIntrinsic Rewards– ScarcityScarcity



Question:Question:

Qualitatively interpersonal communication is Qualitatively interpersonal communication is different from less personal interaction in which of different from less personal interaction in which of the following ways?the following ways?a. a. Qualitatively interpersonal relationships are Qualitatively interpersonal relationships are characterized characterized by the development of unique rules and roles.by the development of unique rules and roles.b. b. In a qualitatively interpersonal relationship, you spend In a qualitatively interpersonal relationship, you spend time time with the other person because you find the time with the other person because you find the time personally personally rewarding.rewarding.c. c. In a qualitatively interpersonal relationship, you feel In a qualitatively interpersonal relationship, you feel more more comfortable sharing your thoughts and feelings.comfortable sharing your thoughts and feelings.d. d. All of the above statements are true.All of the above statements are true.



Technology and Technology and Interpersonal CommunicationInterpersonal Communication

• Computer-Mediated CommunicationComputer-Mediated Communication

• May Reduce Face-to-Face CommunicationMay Reduce Face-to-Face Communication

• May Enhance Interpersonal May Enhance Interpersonal

CommunicationCommunication



Personal and Impersonal Personal and Impersonal Communication:Communication:A Matter of BalanceA Matter of Balance

• Most Relationships are not Most Relationships are not Either Either Interpersonal Interpersonal

OrOr Impersonal Impersonal

– Personal Elements in Impersonal EncountersPersonal Elements in Impersonal Encounters

– Impersonal Elements in Interpersonal EncountersImpersonal Elements in Interpersonal Encounters



Communicating About Communicating About RelationshipsRelationshipsContent and Relational MessagesContent and Relational Messages

• The Content is the Subject The Content is the Subject

• The Relational Dimension The Relational Dimension

Makes Statements About Makes Statements About

How the Parties Feel How the Parties Feel

Toward the OtherToward the Other



Communicating About Communicating About RelationshipsRelationships Types of Relational MessagesTypes of Relational Messages

• AffinityAffinity

• ImmediacyImmediacy

• RespectRespect

• ControlControl

• MetacommunicationMetacommunication



Question:Question:

Regina tends to interrupt Philip often, and Regina tends to interrupt Philip often, and she talks much more than he does on a she talks much more than he does on a regular basis. This example best relates to regular basis. This example best relates to which of the following relational messages?which of the following relational messages?

a. affinitya. affinity

b. respectb. respect

c. conversation controlc. conversation control

d. decision controld. decision control



Communication CompetenceCommunication Competence

• Involves Achieving One’s Goals Involves Achieving One’s Goals

While Preserving RelationshipsWhile Preserving Relationships

• No “Ideal” Way to CommunicateNo “Ideal” Way to Communicate

• Competence is SituationalCompetence is Situational

• Competence is RelationalCompetence is Relational

• Competence Can Be LearnedCompetence Can Be Learned



Characteristics of Competent Characteristics of Competent CommunicatorsCommunicators

• Wide Range of BehaviorsWide Range of Behaviors

• Ability to Choose Most Appropriate BehaviorAbility to Choose Most Appropriate Behavior

– ContextContext

– Your GoalYour Goal

– Your Knowledge of the OtherYour Knowledge of the Other

• Skill at Performing BehaviorsSkill at Performing Behaviors



Communication CompetenceCommunication CompetenceSkill at Performing BehaviorsSkill at Performing Behaviors

• Beginning AwarenessBeginning Awareness





• AwkwardnessAwkwardness






• SkillfulnessSkillfulness






• SkillfulnessSkillfulness

• IntegrationIntegration



Characteristics of Competent Characteristics of Competent CommunicatorsCommunicators

• Cognitive ComplexityCognitive Complexity

• EmpathyEmpathy

• Self-MonitoringSelf-Monitoring

• CommitmentCommitment

looking out/looking in eleventh edition

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