laxmi`s autoniography

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    Contents

    Chapter 1 : Childhood lived in opulence

    Chapter 2 : Brief exposure to Gandhi

    Chapter 3 : A rebellious school goer

    Chapter 4 : The Masters call

    Chapter ! : Master and "isciple

    Chapter # : $ith %a&neesh in Mu'bai

    Chapter ( : %a&neesh Ashra' in )une

    Chapter * : Gates of paradise

    Chapter + : ,light to the $est

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    A CHILDHOOD LIVED IN OPULENCE

    "You cannot be adventurous when you are unhappy. Adventure needs a subtle happinessin you. Then you can leave the known...only with a dancing heart...happy, blissful,

    positivecan take you into the uncharted."

    Osho: The Book Of Se!ets III" 1#$%

    An En&'(sh )e*(sh +(,*(fe ,e'(-e!e, . /!ett0 .0 &(!' .t ho+e .t 3 h!s on 4e!5.!0

    12 1#33 (n Bo+.0 6In,(.7 no* kno*n .s 85+.(9 The ne*o!n *.s .,+(n(ste!e, .,!o/ of !.n,0 +(xe, *(th hone0 0 the +(,*(fe9 S/(!(t5.' en'(&htene, +.ste!s h.-e s.(,

    t(+e .n, o-e! .&.(n th.t the s/(!(t (s ete!n.' .n, ont(n5es to ex(st9 It ne-e! e.ses toex(st9 Th(s s/(!(t *.s no* &(fte, . ne* /h0s(.' o,09 Th(s e.5t(f5' ne* o,0 .+e toe kno*n .s L.x+(9

    L.x+( *.s o!n (n h.ste n.!!.tes 8.t.(" he! +othe! S!(+.t( ;5!5*. 9 So +5h so 8.t.(

    ,(, not h.-e eno5&h not(e to !e.h he! e,!oo+9 8.t.( *.s fo!e, to ,e'(-e! the .0st.n,(n&9 L.x+( *.s on o!n on .!/ete, f'oo!9 T!.,(t(on.' +(,*(-es onf(!+ th.t

    +othe!s to e *ho .!e !e'.xe, ,e'(-e! (n e.se .n, /.(n'ess'0" e-en *h('e st.n,(n&9

    4o'k'o!e onf(!+s B5,,h.fo5!th 5/ of

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    so5/ ooke, (n *.te!" .!,.+o+ .n, s5&.!9 Th(s '(?5(, ,(et ont(n5e, fo! se-en ,.0s9

    Then . fe* +oon&" *ho'e &!een e.ns *e!e .,,e, to the so5/9 A fe* ,.0s '.te! she

    e&.n !e&5'.! +e.'s *(th the f.+('09 The -.(, 5!e, he! 'e&9 A+/5t.t(on *.s not!e?5(!e,9 Doto!s *ho /!.t(e, +o,e!n +e,((ne *e!e s5!/!(se, th.t 8.t.(

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    The vaid returned home to see that his son was very sick. He checked his sons pulse.

    Immediately he knew that he had had eaten in his absence. He asked his wife why she

    fed the child when he had instructed her not to feed him at all except with water. The vaid

    said his son would not live as intake of puffed rice contradicted the remedy. Althouh his

    wife reretted and was remorse the boy never recovered. He died.

    The vaid did not teach his randson ayurved. The leacy would terminate with him. He

    stated that his sons death was a messae of nature that knowlede must not be passed

    on to next eneration. However he prepared eneral medicines for his randson so that

    he could make a livin by merchandisin. Althouh durin his practice he compiled

    information in !anskrit but could not publish it. Thus all his knowlede and experience

    faded away after his demise.

    Hindus worldwide worship "oddess #axmi$ "oddess of wealth. "oddess #axmi is the wife

    of #ord %ishnu. &or #axmis father$ the day of her birth was extraordinary as he earned a

    lot of money on that day' therefore he christened the new born #axmi.

    #axmi had six cousins$ three brothers and three sisters elder to her. (rior to #axmis birth

    both her father and uncle )her fathers brother* had lost three wives each. These children

    were born of the fourth wedlock. #axmis father and her uncle were over thirty years old

    and mature when they became fathers. At thirty plus$ parentin was a new experience for

    #axmis father and uncle. +ata,i and aunt )uncles wife* were sisters.

    -ich and in an expandin business the families lived a life of opulence. In a lare house in

    a posh area in +umbai$ the families lived altoether as a ,oint family. hile father and

    +ata,i shared a room so did uncle and aunt. The children too had a playroom. They

    worshipped #ord +ahavir the /ain Tirthankara. However #axmis father said that his reat

    randfather also worshipped the Hindu #ord 0rishna. There were pictures of both 0rishna

    and +ahavir at home. Therefore as for reliion$ the family was flexible and non ritualistic.

    !urrounded by opis$ milkmaids the imaes of #ord 0rishna evoked excitement$ ,oy and

    playfulness in #axmi. As a child #axmi was fascinated with 0rishna and loved to read his

    stories. #axmi would often spend hours ain at 0rishnas portraits and statues. #axmi

    was not so fascinated by +ahavir as he lacks color.

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    #axmis parents were both ood lookin$ were loved and respected in the community.

    #axmis father was an active social worker and involved in several welfare pro,ects. As a

    trustee of a rich /ain temple$ he also oranied to build a lare housin complex for lower

    income roup. A sporty person especially fond of playin cricket many came to him for

    advice. After work each day at home with a pint of alcohol$ he would play with all thechildren. +ata,i looked after the home and children.

    The family celebrated !hivratri$ a festival dedicated to Hindu od #ord !hiva. 2n this day

    Hindus consume bhan$ derived from poppy seeds. A stron homemade drink it makes

    people hih. lended with cardamom$ pistachio$ saffron$ nutme and dry rose flower

    petals it is added to milk. haiyai$ a tribesman from north India made this drink each

    year in the 0uruwa household. ut #axmi did not et a kick. #axmi told bhaiyai that his

    drink was not a success.

    Acceptin the challene and determined to knock #axmi out totally$ he struck a copper

    coin several times on stone and added it to the drink. #east expectin that the recipe had

    had a rustic and oriinal touch this time' #axmi ulped a lassful as usual. This time it

    clicked. #axmi was on an instant hih. #axmi lauhed for sometime$ followed by intense

    cryin. This entertained the children in the family and they teased her. They chased her.

    !oon #axmi rushed out of her room and chased them all over the house. (ut to bed

    perforce by +ata,i #axmi recovered from the influence of bhan after three days.

    #axmi had a beautiful and playful childhood. The family was up at seven in the mornin

    and was served tea. y eiht the children were out on bullock carts and horses in the

    ariculture fields. This was followed by a swim in the family pool$ which all of them loved.

    +eanwhile by two in the afternoon lunch was carted from home throuh the fields on

    bullock carts. #unch was served on poolside. The children were nauhty and did not step

    out of the pool easily. They would overstay in water and playfully ask that food be servedto them in the pool. As there were no as stoves near the pool$ food was heated on

    kerosene stoves near poolside. This would mean reheatin food repeatedly as the children

    were reluctant to step out of the pool.

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    5ncle inculcated book readin habit in the children. 6ncouraed to read the children would

    o with uncle to bookshops. They selected books both in 6nlish and reional Indian

    lanuae$ "u,arati. #axmi particularly liked to read adventure and mythical stories.

    #axmi feels livin in a way a ,oint family is a pressure$ but on the whole it is the best type

    of family life. It has its ,oys and pains. #axmi felt that it was like a bi encounter roup.

    &amily members constantly encountered each other. 7ay in and day relatin with the

    family worked like a therapy.

    There were always children$ children$ children and an e8ual number of adults at home. To

    each child there was one adult as a caretaker. However the adult was not as a watcher

    but more like a friend. He or she would sit nearby and occasionally came over to check if

    the child needed any assistance. It was not an imposition therefore beautiful. #axmi had a

    few cousins$ and brothers and sisters until her early childhood' the youner cousins were

    born later. "rowin up in the midst of these children was like bein mirrors to each other.

    The maximum ae difference between any two children was two years$ thus #axmi was

    never lonely.

    The family house was well built and well maintained. !pecial care was taken to provide a

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    hyienic environment for the children. The kitchen was particularly clean and away from

    the livin room. The childrens room was away too$ so that uests were not disturbed

    with their daylon mischief.

    6ach niht cotton mattresses were rolled out for the children at home on first floor asbeds. +ade of fine 8uality cotton bed linen was always clean. To comfort the children

    perfume was sprayed in this room at bedtime. #ater the windows would be opened for

    fresh frarance emitted by champa and rat ki rani creepers. This frarance wafted

    throuh out the niht from these creepers to fill the bedrooms and the home with natural

    frarance and freshness.

    The children rew up very fond of each other and a sense of belonin. They wore lose

    fittin nihtclothes made of very fine cotton at niht. It felt entle and liht like silk.

    7urin the day they played with best and latest toys. A pet do would play with the

    children. All the children were fond of him. 2ne day while repair and construction was

    oin on at home a wooden slab fell and he died instantly under it. The children missed

    him and did not et any sleep durin the niht. They missed the do for several days.

    #axmi was fond of eatin imported 0it 0at. 0it 0at is a sweet$ the wrapper of which

    carried a photo of #axmis favorite Hollywood actress !hirley Temple. #axmis older

    brother tricked her out of a lot of her pocket money. 6ach time he borrowed money he

    assured her that he would return the money. He never did. However he bouht her 0it

    0at because he knew of her weakness for the picture of !hirley.

    ell trained the cooks at home made delicious food$ includin a sweet dish called

    salampak made of pearl powder and nuts. 6ach mornin in the winters the family ate a

    small cube of it with saffron base milk$ especially the children. They were not allowed to

    step out of the house to play if they did not eat the reular dose. -eular supplies ofluscious rich manoes$ sweet papayas$ ripe bananas$ ,amun$ a typical purple colored

    Indian fruit of the monsoons$ and coconut came in from the orchard in the suburbs owned

    by the family. 7airy products came in from a dairy owned by the family. Two Indian

    workers tended to the cows and buffalos in the dairy farm.

    9lose knit the family ate dinner at the dinnin table. 2ften they would share a dish.

    7urin these meals the family sat altoether and shared the day with each other$ many a

    difference were sorted out. ith meaninful and communication full of compassion the

    family huddled and loved each other. This onoin communication resulted in everyone

    speakin his or her mind. (roblems were resolved nearly the same day as a result the

    past was never overbearin. This understandin further united the family.

    &olk siners often came to stay at the family farmhouse in 0utch$ "u,arat in western

    India. The family farmhouse was always chared with music. These siners san ballads

    and stories of kins and 8ueens$ of enlihtened masters uddha$ +ahavir and 0rishna.

    They san raas$ composition of notes of Indian classical music. !ome of the raas are a

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    thousand years old. A raa is marked for sinin at specific hours durin day and niht. A

    few raas are sun only durin special events in a lifetime. -aa +alhar is said to have

    invoked rain od Indra to shower rain. -aa hupali is sun early mornin$ while -aa

    +alkaush is sun at niht.

    #axmi oranied her day meticulously. A ood time manaer and well:trained cook$ she

    could et a meal ready for unexpected uests too$ in minimum time. Also while cleanin

    too #axmi kept track of time. At school #axmi learnt to play harmonium$ an Indian piano$

    which was later used for kirtan. efore 2sho ave a discourse kirtan and bha,ans$ Indian

    devotional music$ was sun. +any years later the harmonium was lost durin discourse

    from the stae. ith that ended the relationship with that harmonium.

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    /0)%/ T GA"567 ,%//"M T%GG8/

    alk ithout &eet$ &ly ithout ins and Think ithout

    +ind$ 1?@?

    #axmi rew up to amidst the freedom strule in India. "andhi emancipated women.

    !everal chanes were introduced for women. +odern and proressive in his outlook

    "andhi said men and women are e8ual. He encouraed literacy for women. At home

    #axmis 5ncle held orthodox views on women. He planned to send the boys to school

    while the irls would be tutored at home.

    !even years old #axmi was hurt that she would not attend school like her brothers. #axmi

    told her uncle that she wanted to o to school with her brothers. He replied sternly$ =ou

    will be tutored at home and will learn what your brothers learn at school$ but you cannot

    o to school. It is out of 8uestion. "irls have to be trained to take care of the house and

    family and children. The boys are special because they have to o out into the world and

    earn money. &or this reason education at school is necessary for the boys. I do not want

    any arument. This is how it is$ so o away and dont waste my time.

    #axmi was anry. Is "od partial to boysasked #axmi before leavin the room.

    Turnin away #axmi told her uncle that she would not eat and talk to anyone until she

    was permitted to o to school with the boys.

    This was #axmis first ma,or confrontation with uncle. #axmi went to her room and locked

    the door behind her. This was #axmis first rebellion. #axmi had learnt to fast in protest

    and fearlessly ask for her rihts from the peer +ahatma "andhi$ the &ather of the nation.

    #axmis father respected his elder brother and manaed the business without any

    interference at home and with the upbrinin of the children. 5ncle had an additional

    chare of home affairs and upbrinin of the children. He was also in chare of the

    schoolin of all boys. However #axmis father told uncle to review his decision reardin

    #axmi attendin schoolor else to leave her alone. 5ncle was bitter about this as this was

    the first instance his youner brother overruled his decision.

    +eanwhile #axmi did not relent and in aner was unaware of the pans of huner and

    thirst. Thouh later when #axmi felt the pans of huner and thirst she determined not to

    unlock the door. aitin for someone to appear at the door fatiued #axmi fell asleep.

    Aunty was very lovin$ soft spoken and she knocked at #axmis door at ten in the niht.

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    Touched with tears in her eyes$ #axmi said she would open the door provided uncle

    permitted her to attend school.

    /ust then uncle was ascendin the staircase and he overheard the conversation. He asked

    #axmi to see him in his room. oth #axmi and her aunt went to his room. !till livid hesurrendered the responsibility of #axmis upbrinin to her father. He added #axmis

    father wished to send her to school he would not interfere. However he burst out and told

    #axmi that she was stubborn and she must never see him aain for anythin. This

    shocked the family. Bevertheless #axmi ,oined school. The first instance of #axmis father

    exercisin his independent mind$ this took the two brothers apart.

    arely a ten minutes walk from home #axmi attended a public 6nlish medium school

    alon with her brothers and male cousins. The staff of this school was trained at -abindra

    Bath Taores !hantiniketan !chool. Taore$ the acclaimed poet and Bobel (rie winner

    loved music. In his vision a childs interest was prime and he believed a child must not be

    forced to perform. The staff coached the students on the uidelines of Taore and

    imparted his teachins reularly to the students. The male teachers wore kurtas$ a lon

    shirt and pa,amas. 2nce in a while the principal wore salvar$ a north Indian style pant

    also worn by Behru. Inspired by Taore the male teachers donned beard and lon tresses

    of hair like him. Himself a seeker the principal would say amewhich means we. If

    at all he did say I he would immediately correct himself and say ame.

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    #axmi has a distinct memory of her first day at school. Her stomach churned because

    she had made it to school in spite of uncles ire. 9onfident$ #axmi received a ood

    welcome to the class. There were over seven hundred children attendin school. !omewere playin while the others were ,umpin. A feverish excitement prevailed. After

    school hours 5ncle came to pick up the children. 6n route home he asked all the boys

    as to how their day had been. However he did not in8uire of #axmi. 6xuberant$

    excited #axmi bubblin with ,oy narrated her stories even thouh no one asked her.

    5ncle merely smiled. He had stopped relatin with her and did not hold any

    conversation with her. The ice did not break till he died. If there was any

    communication at all it was always initiated by #axmi. He did not make any effort

    either.

    !chool was like second home as children had the freedom and spent several hours at

    school.

    6ach day school bean with a prayer. The students sat on floor laden with mats in the

    assembly hall and were trained not to step on these mats with their shoes on. This

    was a test of their awareness. In the middle of the day the school bell would chime

    musically. This was an invitation for all present to observe silence and pray for two

    minutes each day in the assembly hall.

    2nce #axmi inadvertently stepped on the mat in the assembly hall with her shoes on.

    (romptly the principal asked her to sit on the mat and clean it. #axmi obeyed$ cleaned

    and later sat on the mat. A few days later the principal stepped on the mat. #axmi

    went up to him re8uestin him to sit down on the mat. At first he inored #axmi.

    However on #axmis insistence he sat on the mat. +any were amaed with #axmis

    boldness. !ince that day both students and staff were cautious not to step on mats.

    6ach one tried to remain aware.

    A ood eater #axmi put on weiht until once a schoolmate called her fat and

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    overweiht. To this #axmi reacted sharply and told her to shut up$ yet she felt the

    bulin belly. !oon #axmi realied that she needed to eat with more awareness and

    less reed. #axmi followed her awareness and shaped up her body. #ater in her life

    #axmi heard 2sho say that body has its own clock and if one attuned oneself to it$ the

    body is in harmony.

    Taore breathed his last when #axmi was rather youn. 7eeply influenced at school$

    she imbibed many values$ includin those of responsibility and truth. #axmi was

    rateful to her teacher$ principal and above all Taore. !ecular in school there were no

    dictates on how and who to worship. The students came from all reliious and political

    backrounds. #axmi credits this openness to Taore althouh #axmi learnt of the

    sinificance of these values after her meetin with 2sho. The students were roomed

    with humility and kindness. They were coached to reet people as per the Indian

    tradition with both palms folded toether like in prayer. This is called namaskar and in

    India it denotes :I honor the liht in you. The students recited a prayer from the holy

    Hindu book the 5panishad read #ord$ lead us to Truth from untruth. +oreover themotto at school was !atya mev /ayatewhich means truth always wins. +any a

    renowned musician$ dancer$ writer and poets were invited to reinforce the idea of

    truth in children. Also they performed in school.

    Amonst the many habits #axmi noticed that she would rationalie many a time when

    thins did not work out her way. The effort was to blame the other and or

    circumstances for any and every issue and never take the responsibility. In this

    context #axmi was reminded of a story especially liked a story 2sho narrated more

    than once in discourses. The story is about the fox and rapes suspended from a

    creeper. Havin failed to reach the bunch of rapes in spite of ,umpin several times$

    the fox turned away to leave in disappointment. /ust then a rabbit that watched thefox walk away called out to the fox. hat happened cant you reach the rapes

    They are sour$ replied the fox and walked away.

    old #axmi made an impression on her teaches too. A sporty child #axmi was

    introduced to swimmin alon with the other students. The instructor asked students

    to ,ump into the pool. "ripped with fear none did. &eelin the water with her hands

    #axmi ,umped and swam spontaneously and fearlessly.

    #axmis favorite ame was hootutu also known as kabadi. A simple team ame it

    needs no expensive adets and can be played in an open field. Two teams of twenty

    players each assemble on either side of the field to play the ame. The centerline

    divides the field into two e8ual areas$ one for each of the teams. 6ach player must

    approach the center repeatin hoottututtutuu.in a sinle breath. Inhalin is not

    permitted .The mantra should be audible while the player approaches the center

    continuously chantin hooottuttututu. If cauht near the centerline in this process by

    a rival player heCshe must free himselfC herself$ continuously chantin

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    hoottututtuuuttu even if it means breathlessness. 5ntouched the player must return

    to his Cher side of the field. 2r else the player is declared out. All the players et a

    chance to play. The team with fewer players declared out wins at the end.

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    As a player #axmi recalls doin physical exercises that helped deep breathin. +any yearslater #axmi realied why as a child she was fond of the ame hootutu. #axmi realied the

    sinificance of deep breathin after meetin 2sho. Hoois vital as it hits the navel

    center each time we chant it. Hootutu has the potential to lead one to meditation because

    of the importance laid on deep breathin.

    #axmi loved to experiment in the laboratory cleanin salt$ suar and workin with

    mercury and aluminum foil. A repair mechanic suested that #axmi et learnin sets and

    learn how to repair radios at home. !oon #axmi repaired iron$ clock and typewriters

    nearly mechanical household oods.

    #axmi had had an unusual experience in a ferry wheel cradle once in her childhood. #axmi

    saw the cradle o round and round. It was an adventure. 2n the face of it was ,ust a

    merry o round that turned round and round at the navel center. However deep inside all

    seemed to come to have come to stand still. The thouht process had suddenly stopped.

    #axmi felt she had entered into a timeless one. ith an intense vibration at the navel

    center #axmi was very fearful. =ears later #axmi had a similar experience while

    meditatin at Barol$ "u,arat. However the experience this time at Barol was one of

    ecstasy.

    ack at home #axmis father was influenced by the freedom fihters$ in particular with

    ideals of +ahatma "andhi. +ore so with "andhi s charisma. #axmis father met leadin

    leaders$ includin "andhi$ !ri %alllabhai (atel$ !ri +orar,i bhai$ Acharya 0riplani whenever

    re8uired. !tatin that he had a family to rear #axmis father he offered to help thefreedom strule with funds. 7urin his stay at the 0urwa family house in 0utch$ "u,arat$

    "andhi ained nearly three pound weiht and stated in his diary that he would like to

    revisit it. ut a fanatic Hindu assassinated him in the followin year.

    #axmi shared a beautiful relationship with her father. 6namored she embraced his values

    and practices. Bone else in the family cared about these details. #axmis father offered

    prayers to the picture of +ahatma "andhi each mornin. #axmi imitated him and durin

    these moments of silence. #axmi had yet another limpse of timelessness$ of a brief look

    into eternity. This silence refreshed her. #axmi shared this ,oy with +ata,i confirmed a

    prayer from the heart ets an ear from the ods. +any years later 2sho said to be

    present in a moment transports one into a timeless one. #ike a brief look into eternityand then one returns. He said this brief experience refreshes one.

    In accordance with the +ahatmas endeavor to provide employment and means to make

    a livin to millions of ,obless Indians$ #axmis father always wore white hand spun khadi

    topi$ cotton cap and clothes. 0hadi was a symbol of nationalists durin the freedom

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    strule led by +ahatma "andhi. =et he adorned it on his head only in the presence of

    "andhi$ and en route office. He would take it off ,ust as he reached the office. In leaue

    with her father #axmi from late childhood always wore white except to school and for a

    celebration of her brothers weddin. This was until she met 2sho.

    +any years later when #axmi met 2sho she realied 2sho differed from "andhi in many

    ways. Also 2sho drew #axmis attention to this issue. He told #axmi as a youn man$ like

    millions of others$ he was fascinated with India seekin freedom from the ritish. This was

    because Indians wanted to be free in their own country. However "andhi was for the

    freedom of the mind$ while 2sho was for inner freedom. He focused on freedom of self$

    from the dictates and clutches of mind ames and conditionin of the mind. 2sho talked

    about the intrinsic real freedom.

    There was a sharp contrast between #axmis father and his brother. hile uncle lived an

    aristocratic life father lived a plain life. #axmis father fasted once or twice in a month and

    lived frually. He was lovin$ soft:spoken$ social$ moderate$ proressive modern in his

    outlook and more involved in the business.

    #axmi was influenced by the tenets of Hinduism at a tender ae. !he had read Hindus in

    India attribute spiritual reasons to coverin of the head. It is a way of protectin

    sahastrhar$ seventh chakra )psychic center*. #ocated at the top center of the head it is

    referred to as the lotus with thousand petals in body sciences of yoa. &or centuries

    rahmins wear chotis$ a tuft of hair in the center of the back of the head. !ikhs too tuck

    their hair under a turban. &or the same reason$ #axmi wore a scarf on her head for

    several years$ until her arrival in 5!A. Isabel$ #axmis assistant in (une$ once told 2sho

    that #axmi looked beautiful even without the scarf and re8uested him to ask #axmi to

    drop the scarf. 2sho asked her to stop wearin the scarf. #axmi complied.

    7urin her childhood #axmi alon with the children in the family ot small pox. Hit by a

    severe bout #axmi was very sad as at the end she lost her lon and beautiful hair. In

    addition #axmis skin lost its luster and was densely spotted with chick: pea marks. 2nly

    ten years old$ #axmi was sensitive about her physical appearance. Her friends and staff at

    school did not accept this chane in her physical appearance. #axmis friends and

    teachers$ because of the chaned appearance$ re,ected #axmi. Inored and nelected$

    #axmi felt she was no loner beautiful. #onely #axmi was uncomfortable at school and felt

    like an outsider.

    +uch to her relief durin vacations the family vaid treated her. ith reular application of

    chickpea powder$ milk and almond drops followed by a shower and two hours ofswimmin #axmis face recovered its luster. The cascadin hair and spotless skin were

    restored. !chool reopened. The love and affection of her teachers and friends was

    restored. #axmi could not understand this. 9onfused$ #axmi felt except for the intellient

    people most were overned by the physical appearance of a person.

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    shattered #axmi. In moments of pain #axmi was influenced by the story of uddha who

    left comforts of palace in search of truth. #axmi wanted to emulate "autama the uddha.

    #axmi planned to leave home and family in search of truth. #axmi wrote to her cousin that

    she would leave home at midniht forbiddin her to inform her family. However she sleptthrouh the niht. In her dream #axmi saw #ord 0rishna lauh. 0rishna told her that the

    inner search knows no physical boundaries. It happens in all circumstances and

    everywhere. There was no need to run away from physical or mental spaces. +oreover

    uddha did return home after twelve years.

    The next mornin #axmi was worried that her cousin would inform her father. A week

    later #axmis father asked when she would leave home in search of truth. #axmi had

    tears in her eyes. Huin father #axmi said she would never leave him and o away.

    #axmi narrated how in her dream #ord 0rishna told her to be content with life. #axmis

    father lauhed. 9onfident$ #axmi was not a coward he advised her that truth led to ease

    where as lies caused misery in life. ith this episode the desire to renounce and be a

    sadhvi$ feminine hermit dropped from #axmis plans and itinerary in life. Ironically years

    later #axmi rolled into 2shos neo sannyas and was amon the first few sannyasins.

    As a child #axmi did not pursue reliion with rituals. %isits to the temple with the family

    were an appreciation of architecture$ cool feel of marble$ exotic statues draped in colorful

    satin and brocade$ prasad$ sweets offered to the ods$ and frarance of incense.

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    A %/B/886 C58 G/%

    It

    is you who poison it. #ove is the deepest ecstasy that nature allows you. ut you destroy

    it.In India the possibility of love was completely closed. Then only a mediocre life will be

    there. Bo misery$ no happiness> ,ust a pullin on somehow. And this is what marriae has

    been in the past The Alpha And The 2mea %olume I$ 1?@D

    "andhi laid down his life for the freedom in early 1?EE. #axmis father respected "andhi

    for his pursuit of truth and courae. He was a ma,or influence on #axmi. Baturally #axmi

    imbibed values "andhi pursued. #axmis father loved her for this. #axmi accompanied her

    father to a meetin at ombay rounds to pass a resolution of the Fuit India +ovement.

    #eaders of the freedom movement$ includin "andhi sat at the dais. Thouh well

    oranied people pushed to et a limpse of the national leaders. #axmi held on to her

    fathers hand throuh out the meetin.

    +eanwhile "andhi made an appeal for fund collection and bean ivin out autoraphs for

    five rupees each. All of a sudden the ritish had arrived on the scene in an attempt to

    disperse the meetin. "unshots filled the air. (olice on horseback shot into the air. /ust

    then #axmi tore lose from her fathers rip and ran toward "andhi who was sinin to

    collect maximum funds for the freedom strule. In the midst of chaos$ surprisinly #axmi

    manaed to reach "andhi and ave him a five rupee note she had had held on her body

    throuh the meetin. 6xcited to see "andhi she thanked him for a pat on the head. The

    crowd whisked #axmi away. However #axmis father manaed to escort her back home.

    6xcited with the fervor of this evenin #axmi also wanted to ,oin the freedom fihters.

    arely seven years old #axmi was enamored with "andhi and bean to wear khadi. And

    only white. To school she had to wear a red or a khaki belt. Throuh out the country therewas a feverish pitch to fiht for independence. In Auust 1?;@ the ritish were compelled

    to rant independence to India. The people of ,ust independent India celebrated. uildins

    were lit for three days. (eople on streets distributed sweets$ hued each other$ shared

    their ,oy and conratulated each other. The people were all united and beloned to an

    independent nation.

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    #axmi rew up inCwith innocence. As sex was a taboo at home therefore not discussed

    #axmi rew up inorant until she was fourteen. #axmi had no clue about puberty and the

    chanes that emere in the body with it. 2ne day at school #axmi informed her brother

    that she bled in her knickers even thouh she had not hurt herself. !hocked with herinnocence he informed +ata,i who had failed to educated her on the sub,ect. #axmi was

    sent back home from school. However later in the evenin #axmis father comforted her.

    He said that this was a monthly feature and suested she accept it and relaxes. However

    #axmi was repulsed with the menstrual cycle month after month as it restricted playin

    and ,umpin.

    #axmis cousin was married when she was barely fourteen. 5nlike uncle #axmis father

    did not force her into a marriae soon after puberty even thouh matrimonial offers

    bean pourin in for #axmi from the wealthiest families of the community. 6ducation not a

    must amon irls there were hardly any educated irls in the community. #axmi has this

    advantae. 6ven thouh #axmis elder sister was prettier than #axmi however she did not

    et as much attention from prospective alliances. In this respect uncle was delihted that

    #axmi received cream matrimonial offers rare amon irls and suested that the offers

    be explored. However #axmi was upset and asked her father why she had to leave the

    family who she loved so much. If she were forced into it #axmi would conclude that her

    father did not love her and therefore could think of sendin her away. This softened father

    and he areed that he would pursue her if and when she was keen on it. He said$&or

    now we drop the matter. I will inform the families that #axmi is interested to pursue

    further education. !hould they like to wait they could. This surprised #axmis family

    and the families who proposed a liaison$ however father was determined to pursue "andhi

    s ideals to educate women and to not hurt #axmi.

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    #axmi finished school and studied liberal arts in collee. However prior to examination

    #axmis aunt died of tuberculosis. Her younest child was only two years old. The

    responsibility of the children was now +ata,is. !oon +ata,i contracted tuberculosis and

    was operated upon. #axmi perforce bean to share housekeepin with +ata,i missed

    classes in collee several times. 6ducation took a backseat. Inade8uate attendance at

    collee forced #axmi to withdraw from examination. !oon #axmi was fully involved with

    the family and housekeepin and rendered these responsibilities well. This pleased uncle

    as #axmi was finally shapin up as irl as he desired.

    #axmi was at home throuh out the day. In her pursuit of new horions #axmi ,oined a

    womens oraniation$ haini !ama,. This oraniation served the poor and deprived

    women. This phase was eo fulfillin for #axmi as several people observed that even

    thouh #axmi beloned to a rich family she was unpretentious and served the needy and

    poor. adminton$ swimmin and dress desinin classes filled the rest of the days time

    for #axmi.

    7urin rocery shoppin for the family in the baaar once #axmi spotted a portrait of

    0rishna. A pried collection #axmi framed it in lass and hun it at home. However an

    uncanny feelin constantly naed #axmi that if damaed it would brin ill luck to the

    family. Indeed a few weeks later youn cousin broke the lass frame. #axmi was anxious

    with what would follow. A few days later #axmis father fell sick. +edical reports

    confirmed he had had throat cancer. #axmi felt it was owin to the broken lass frame. In

    order to look after him day and niht #axmi discontinued social work.

    +eanwhile #axmis father was positive throuh out the terminal illness. He asked #axmi

    to consider marriae$ as he was sure that after his death she would find it difficult to pull

    alon his brother as the head of the family. To comfort him #axmi areed to meet a youn

    bachelor who had returned to India after completion of education overseas. The suitor satsilent throuh out the meetin ain at the floor. At the end of it #axmi lauhed and

    re,ected the proposal.

    A week later father passed away.

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    However a few years later 2sho shattered many a myths for #axmi. He cleared several

    foy perceptions includin a broken lass brins ill luck and servin the needy was holy.

    #axmi learnt form 2sho that while the former was sheer neative state of mind. The latter

    only boosted the eo of the person who induled in it.

    #axmi missed her father for a lon time$ as he was her friend and uide. &or several days

    #axmi stayed alone in his room. #axmi cried$ talked to him at niht as thouh he were

    livin. #axmi cleaned the room$ arraned beds$ ironed his clothes in attempt to relate with

    him and feel his presence. &or several days +ata,i felt that #axmi was in an unconscious

    state of mind.

    As customary in India all the relatives sat in lare circle and +ata,i a red sari with a black

    border and lass banles and a tika$ a red dot on her forehead. The banles were

    crushed$ tika erased and chaned into a white sari. All this denoted that she was to lead a

    colorless life devoid of interest.

    Hindus believe the etheric body of the dead person lives for twelve days post death.

    -elatives meet aain after twelve days when they believe the etheric body fades away. A

    month later the astral body departs and the family dines altoether. A sweet dish is

    included in the menu and widow served foremost. 7urin these atherins people share

    their rief. This is repeated six months hence and aain after a year.

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    youn man and a father of a two children he was not constant with work. He would enter

    the house climbin a drainpipe' turn violent with the family and domestic help. (ut on

    sedatives many a time he was sub,ected to insulin shocks and hospitalied under constant

    medical care. In a moment when he was alone he dropped the mattress throuh the

    balcony and ,umped to land on it in order to escape. He landed on the round instead. Afew days later he was dead. ith this$ #axmi reularly held sessions$ often alone and

    undisturbed in the bathroom. 5ntil one day durin a session #axmis body dropped close

    to the bathtub and was hit on the forehead. #axmi passed out for sometime. This

    frihtened and hence #axmi stayed clear of the psychic realms of the spirits. ith this

    ended a ,ourney into the psychic world.

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    T5/ MAT/% CA88

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    2sho> I Am The "ate$ 1?@4

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    envisioned a bare feet$ customarily attired /ain monk with a bein bowl$ with a mask on

    the mouth covered in order to not suck in any tiny livin beins$ and a broom to clean the

    place before sittin down. +uch to her surprise Achayra -a,neesh wore a white khadi

    luni )an ankle lenth cloth tied below torso* and a silk chaddar$ shawl around his

    shoulders. He was unlike a /ain monk. He walked in racefully castin a spell. 2n his wayto the dais he passed by #axmi. &roen and in deep silence$ #axmi forot to welcome the

    uest. In complete awe #axmi couldn t take her eyes off him. An extraordinary

    experience #axmi sat still listenin intently. 7eep down there was a strane reconition as

    thouh she had known him earlier. There was a familiarity #axmi could not explain. An

    inner voice seemed to acknowlede that #axmi had known him forever. 6ach cell and pore

    of the body ran out in areement with this feelin. He was no straner. However #axmi

    was short of words to express the experience.

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    As he bean to speak #axmi sensed a deep throbbin at her navel center and was carriedaway into another realm. His command over Hindi and lucidity was enthrallinCenchantin

    like a son from the spheres was flowin. 6yes closed #axmi melted with the melody of

    this divine music. Immobilied with awe$ she did not et up to thank him at the end of his

    speech. #axmi was mesmeried. The (resident who noticed this ot up and ave the vote

    of thanks. hen the (resident sharp vote of thanks fell on #axmis ears$ her eyes

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    opened.

    #ater the (resident expressed disbelief of #axmis unusual inertia. #axmi said$ #ove

    has happened for the first time. It is sprintime. Theres is music all around. It is difficult

    to explain the feelin . 9onfused she asked$ #ove for the sadhu #axmiacknowleded love for him and said$ =es. It is love for him$ his eyes$ and his purity. 2h

    "od$ Acharya -a,neesh$ where can one meet him

    hackin her on the cheek she said$ =ou are hypnotied$ he is certainly not a person

    to be in love with. A person. There is no person. It is the sound$ the music$ and the

    maic of the human bein who was here. He is the man of the earth$#axmis replied.

    !hocked with #axmis overwhelmin response the president was worried. !he decided to

    escort #axmi home. At home she narrated the evenins events to +ata,i. Assured that

    he was an unbelievable /ain monk$ a ood orator and no ordinary man$ +ata,i heard

    #axmis ecstatic experience. The (resident did not yield the contact address of 2sho to

    #axmi. All she said was that he lived in /abalpur$ +adhya (radesh in central India. #axmi

    did not know how to reach Acharya -a,neesh.

    2sho noticed that #axmi wore khadi$ hand woven cotton. He asked her why she wore

    khadi. #axmi replied proudly. #axmi said that "andhi$ &ather of the nation was loved and

    respected by the family. "andhi tauht the Indians to weave cloth$ and as a "andhian

    one should devote one self to the nation. That is why she wore khadi. 2sho suested

    that they discuss "andhi and the issue of khadi durin another visit. He then turned to

    talk to other uests in the room.

    #axmi continued to feel 2shos touch for lon. The frarance of his presence linered on

    for days after 2sho departed from +umbai. It seemed fresh. To #axmi it seemed hercousins forecast was true. The liht finally shone in her life.

    Two months later it so happened +ata,i went to visit a relative. #ater in the day she

    accompanied the relative to hear a /ain monk speak on reliion. The monk turned out to

    be Acharya -a,neesh in later years known as 2sho. +ata,i was overwhelmed by his

    presence$ sound and expression. =ou have a discernin eye. He is indeed a remarkable

    and pure man. His lecture reaches the heart immediately$she said to #axmi foremost

    on returnin home. 6xcited #axmi re8uested her to find out the contact address of 2sho.

    9ontact was made. However 2sho had departed by train to /abalpur in the afternoon.

    7isappointed she could not meet 2sho$ #axmi was lad that she could now share 2sho

    with +ata,i. &or several days 2sho was the sub,ect of conversation between the two.

    There were a series of surprises for #axmi. 2ne after the other the 0uruwa family ot to

    meet 2sho. Bext it was #axmis maternal uncles turn to hear 2sho. 5ncle was a reular

    and compulsive ambler. 2nce his friend suested that he accompany him to a discourse

    by an unconventional and revolutionary /ain sadhu. These discourses would appeal to him

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    as the sadhu did not condemn any habits includin amblin$ drinkin li8uor and visitin

    brothels. 5ncle brushed aside this in disbelief. 0nowin his weakness for amblin the

    friend seduced 5ncle into accompanyin him to the lecture of Acharya -a,neesh despite

    the initial doubt. 5ncle was trapped. He fell for the bait. He was promised ten thousand

    rupees provided he sat throuh the entire discourse. If he failed he need only pay onerupee to his friend.

    2n that day 2sho in his lecture spoke on the issue of amblin and the problems related

    with it. To 5ncle it seemed as thouh 2sho was addressin his problem issues. This co:

    incidence surprised him. At the end he was refreshed and transformed. 5ncle thanked his

    friend and offered twenty thousand rupees as a ift.

    5ncle convinced #axmis older brother to o for 2shos next talk. 2n return #axmis

    brother said$ #axmi$ this is the man for you and us. 6cstatic he wanted to meet him

    in person. A few days later uncle brouht home a proposal to host 2shos visit to

    +atheran$ +aharashtra at the 0uruwa home. He informed the family that the trustees of

    /eevan /aruti 0endra )9entre of #ife Awakenin* were in search of a ood

    accommodation for 2sho at +atheran. !oon the family house was offered to put up 2sho

    durin his visits to +atheran.

    !pecial arranements were made for 2shos stay at the house. The cook was iven

    special instructions for 2shos meals which comprised of fruits$ cracked wheat$ lentils$

    dal$ a bean or bean soup dish$ boiled veetables$ salad without chilly and spices. !even

    members of the family left for +atheran for the meditation camp. They met 2sho at

    Beral$ a train station two hours away from +atheran. Accompanied by 2sho they

    proceeded to +atheran for the meditation camp.

    7urin the meditation camp the meditators attended discourses in the mornin and sat insilence durin evenin for five days in 2shos presence. In the afternoon the meditators

    sat in silence with their eyes closed around 2sho. 7urin this hour they were encouraed

    to express their feelins. hile some cried$ the others lauhed. After this hour was over

    they sat closer around while 2sho touched the third eye center on the forehead of the

    meditators in turn. 6ach would then move to accommodate the other.

    At the end of the camp 2sho told +ata,i that he had had ood food and a comfortable

    stay. He added that this was indeed the first time that everythin was taken care of so

    well. "rateful$ +ata,i invited 2sho to stay with the family durin his visit to +umbai.

    +ata,i knew 2sho was fond of open spaces therefore she added that there were no fields

    in +umbai. 2sho confirmed that he would visit the family en route the station in theevenin. He added he would stay with them on his next visit.

    #axmi did not o to +atheran and stayed in +umbai as caretaker of a child who had hih

    fever.

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    ithin a week all the children had recovered and were fine. #axmi was excited to learn

    2sho was to be their uest in the evenin and would stay for dinner. It was a beautiful

    day. #axmi was full of lauhter and ,oy. !he spent the day preparin for his arrival. !he

    cooked for him as the cook was still in +atheran.

    2sho arrived with the trustees of /eevan /aruti 0endra. #axmi brouht a lass of fresh

    ,uice for 2sho and was introduced to him by +ata,i. 2sho asked her to sit besides him. He

    held her hand as he drank the ,uice. #axmi took the lass from 2sho when he had

    finished the ,uice. !eated next to 2sho #axmis body vibrated as if hit by an electric

    current. #axmi sat still. +eanwhile someone took the lass away from #axmi. 2sho

    thanked her for the ,uice. It was sweet and iven with a lot of love$he said. lessin

    her head he added$ I shall stay here when I am in +umbai$ and you should take care of

    me.

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    #axmi heard 2sho with an intensity. However seekin reconition for success of the event

    soon after the talk was over #axmi ot up and thanked 2sho on behalf of the 9onress.

    !he thanked the audience. #ater #axmi drove 2sho to her home. They covered the

    distance in silence. At home in the uest room 2sho removed his chaddar$ and took a

    shower. Takin a lass of ,uice from #axmi he asked what she thouht of the lecture.#axmi said her perception of love was transformed and she now saw its different

    dimensions. After this brief conversation 2sho went to meet visitors who awaited him in

    the livin room.

    This new perspective of love was an eye opener for #axmi. Around the same time #axmis

    youner brother informed the family that he was in love with a (arsi irl. He wished to

    marry her. This was the familys first exposure to matrimony outside the "u,arati

    community therefore there was an initial resistance.

    In India till late$ marriaes were planned and coordinated by the family. It also involved

    matchin horoscopes of the partners. The maxim is that two people make an ideal couple

    if maximum number of 8ualities matched. In total there are thirty:six 8ualities. However

    in this case no one cared to match horoscopes as the entire 0uruwa family opposed the

    marriae. They viewed it as a risk to their status in their community. They feared that

    they would become a ,oke and be isolated by the community leaders.

    The family did not know how to resolve the issue and decided to seek 2shos uidance in

    this matter. ith reard to this issue 2sho said that astroloy is a science$ however it

    works enerally for people because of their faith in it. 2sho helped the family drop the

    riid stand to the marriae. He explained that it was because of their pride and fear of

    losin an imainary social status. The family saw reason and reconciled. At a simple

    weddin in a court the couple were declared man and wife. A few trustees of /eevan

    /aruti 0endra attended a party thrown after the weddin.

    #axmi recalls how an astroloer once looked at 2shos palm. He faced a challene. He

    offered to read 2shos palm for a thousand rupees. 2sho said he would consider the fees

    provided he was correct. As the astroloer saw many well to do people present$ he

    assumed 2sho was a wealthy man. He said many pleasantries. !oon he asked for

    payment$ 2sho smiled and said$ =ou do not know that I am a poor man with no income.

    How can I pay your fees +oreover how can I trust predictions made by youAshamed

    and in aner he left without fee.

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    !ix weeks later 2sho returned to +umbai for three days. 2ver,oyed #axmi ran around offerin

    tea and snacks to visitors. 7urin this period 2sho spoke extempore. His discourses were fired

    with radicalism$ combat and powerful. His oration was lucid$ full of poetry and spontaneous

    and the command on Hindi lanuae unparallel and remarkable. He spoke on love$ sex to

    super consciousness$ education$ woman the social structure of the society.

    2ne niht #axmis brother asked 2sho$ hat do you en,oy most in life2sho replied$

    6verythin that is beautiful. 2shos responses to abstract 8uestions were brief$ simple

    and enrichin.

    The next mornin at seven when #axmi served milk and biscuits to 2sho bean conversation

    on "andhis idealism.

    He asked$ Is weavin ones own cloth a ood idea#axmi replied in affirmation.

    hat is the averae life span of Indians $ asked 2sho. #axmi replied$ Thirty years.

    hat is averae number of hours one spends on mundane affairs in routineHow many

    hours is one left with for other matters !hould one spend time in weavin for oneself

    Instead should one ensure employment to millions who work in mills manufacturin cloth If

    middle class people do not buy cloth then hundreds of workers will be laid off in mills. And

    their families would starve. He added that "andhis idealism would lead to poverty. 0hadi is

    ood and cool to wear but there is no need for all of us to weave it. #et the poor et

    employment in mills and industries. This would enerate more money. eavin khadi is ood

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    Harassed by these incessant problems #axmi asked 2sho how he felt about these issues. He

    smiled and said$ #axmi be aware to not be too sharp while dealin with people. Thus it

    was natural that someone had had to take on the role of puttin an end to poor facilities and

    reulate standards. #axmi took it upon herself. #axmi recalls reardless of prior confirmations

    by oraniers 2sho had to put up with inade8uate facilities. However over a period of time

    people became sensitive to re8uirements of 2shos personal care. At the same time #axmi

    was buffer with the well:intentioned public.

    2n one occasion #axmi had re8uested for an air:conditioned room for 2sho in aroda prior to

    the visit. The hosts confirmed it. 2n arrival #axmi learnt the room had a water cooler and no

    air:conditioner. Humidity of the cooler had adverse effects on 2shos body. It escalated

    asthma. #axmi re8uested a chane to an air:conditioned room. The hosts failed to appreciate

    this statin air:conditioned rooms were costly. #axmi advised the host to honor their word.

    This made no impact on the hosts therefore #axmi paid the difference amount. 2sho was

    moved to a more comfortable room.

    Amonst the many incidents of nelience of people to the sensitivity of 2sho #axmi recalls in

    the year 1?D@ 2sho was travelin on train when a lady known to #axmis family was also on

    board. !he asked 2sho how to awaken the kundalini. 2sho suested that she attendmeditation camps. Bot satisfied$ she ured to him to teach her a techni8ue. 2n her

    persistence he repeated that she attend a camp. !he did not relent and pushed 2sho to

    demonstrate realiation throuh 0undalini. He told her that she would have to undress so that

    he could see her spinal cord. This shocked the lady and on return to +umbai she complained

    to #axmis father. Thinkin this to be ross behavior the family was shocked. 9onsiderin this

    risk to the virtue$ the family decided not to put up 2sho as a uest at home in +umbai. This

    was conveyed to the trustees.

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    #axmi was away to 0utch and learnt of this on arrival in +umbai. 7isappointed #axmi was

    determined to continue with personal care of 2sho. The family opposed this. #axmi talked to

    2sho. He suested she should continue work and serve him outside the limits of home and

    not worry about what had happened.

    A fortniht lon meditation camp was on the anvil in 0ashmir. #axmi coaxed her maternal

    uncle to accompany her. !ixty people attended the camp. Here 2sho spoke on +ahavir. oth

    #axmi and uncle were overwhelmed with the perspective 2sho provided on +ahavir. It was a

    fresh ,ourney with +ahavir. It was a new experience with +ahavir. 5ncle was transformed. He

    apoloied to 2sho and #axmi for the misunderstandin. #axmi was delihted. 2n his return to

    +umbai uncle explained the issue to the family and reretted for the uncalled for short:term

    decision to not host 2sho at home in +umbai.

    In the ensuin months three camps were scheduled at Barol$ +aharashtra. A beautiful place$

    Barol is a sand beach and trees that are look alike of pines. 2sho suested all those present

    be silent for five days. #axmi was in silence for three days. However in a moment of

    unawareness after three days she broke her silence. Bo sooner did #axmi speak she was

    silent. Instantly there was a limpse of awareness after the intense silence. The experience

    was overwhelmin.

    At Barol 9amp II 2sho introduced 7ynamic +editation to the meditators$ a techni8ue

    developed by him. He introduced several other meditation techni8ues too. #ater he bean to

    speak. He 8uestioned as to why all of us were there. (rovidin a clue he said$ 2ne could

    bein by askin oneself> ho am IThe ure to search overpowered #axmi. 6ach time she

    8uestioned herself somethin seemed to hit her at the navel center.

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    The first experiment with 7ynamic was in a school compound$ located near a beach some time

    ao. It comprised of four staes. &or the first stae 2sho asked meditators to sit down.

    However later at Barol$ 2sho suested meditators stand durin the first three staes of the

    meditation. 2sho explained that in the standin posture it was easy to breathe viorously and

    one would not be hurt if one dropped down on sand. In order to keep the mind from flutterin

    it was essential to keep the eyes closed. Also he stated that enery is released when the eyes

    are open. This leads to loss of enery when the eyes remain open aimlessly. If one applies the

    techni8ue of dynamic meditation in totality one would certainly an upsure of tremendous

    enery. This accordin to 2sho should be channeled to meditate. 7ynamic meditation was

    revised many times. Initially 2sho led this meditation however later 2sho stopped leadin.

    -ecorded music was played and a fifth stae added.

    The first stae is deep$ viorous breathin for fifteen minutes. In the second one has to

    cooperate with the body by expressin the repressed feelins in open into the sky. e it

    cryin$ shoutin$ hittin or ,umpin it should be allowed free expression. 2r else one should

    consciously start the process of de conditionin. In the third one should repeatedly ask

    oneself$ ho am I2ver a period of time 2sho chaned this 8uery to the sound hoon.

    This is accompanied with constant ,umpin. #ater hoon became hoo. The navel center and sex

    center are very close to each other. Therefore 2sho said the sound should be so viorous that

    it hammers the navel center. As a result enery in the sex center is also affected. 2sho

    explained that the sex center is the seat of the kundalini force. 7urin this stae enery thatusually flows toward sex center is directed upwards to the third eye center. In addition human

    mind overns the sex center and inner centers do not function totally. 9onstant hammerin of

    hoo in this meditation activates dormant centers and releases trapped enery. This enery too

    travels upwards to third eye center.

    In the fourth stae one sits or stands still in silence to pray. It is easier to pray as the body

    and mind are exhausted. However the body should be relaxed to pray. A discomforted body

    retreats attention from awarenessC consciousness to mind which in turn becomes conscious of

    the body. In this process one tends to drift away from awarenessC consciousness.

    =et another chane was made to this techni8ue. A fifth stae was added durin which onecelebrated. Therefore each stae lasted twelve minutes instead of fifteen. hile earlier 2sho

    led this mediation with instructions as and when needed$ later people meditated with recorded

    music.

    At Barol$ one niht in bed #axmi constantly asked herself$ ho am I . #axmi let o her

    body as she breathed viorously. Hyper:ventilatin as if she were a pump she breathed

    viorously but effortlessly. This was followed by intense and non:stop loud belly lauhter. This

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    woke up #axmis maternal uncle. Anxious$ he bean to cry. 2sho who was asleep in a room

    nearby woke up. He came to #axmi$ placed his beautiful hand on her forehead and softly

    echoed in her ear$ 9ome back #axmi. &eelin his touch and hearin the melodious sound

    #axmi returned. "radually #axmi opened her eyes to see 2sho smile at her. In a few minutes$

    2sho reassured uncle that #axmi was fine and asked him to retire to bed.

    The next mornin #axmi was up at six as usual. After a shower #axmi prepared for 2shos

    bath. #axmi then ave tea to 2sho who said$ All of us are mad$ the difference is only of

    derees of insanity. #axmi experienced an awakenin of the inner meditative enery last niht

    and we must cooperate with the reactions durin the camp as these are part of meditation.

    2nce aain at niht #axmi experienced viorous breathin and intense lauhter. 2sho said

    that it would have been a ood idea to record this meditative process on video.

    The next mornin #axmi woke up ,oyous and felt the body was liht. #axmi was acutely aware

    of each movement of her body. Her feet felt liht as thouh floatin. It was a mystery. The

    niht silk dress felt heavy. urdened with its weiht #axmi did not want to wear it any more.

    ishin to wear liht clothes #axmi explained to uncle that the experience was beyond words

    and body was lihtweiht. Informin him that no innerwear was re8uired durin meditation$

    #axmi re8uested uncle to spare a dhoti. This upset him. He asked her to pack up as they were

    oin home because he could not understand why she wanted to undress and couldnt wear

    her dress any loner.

    hat are you oin to do with my dhoti 7o you wish to drop clothes and be naked durin

    the camphe roared.

    #axmi persisted. If you do not ive the dhoti you would be the first to see the naked body.

    #axmi is dead and this is the beinnin of a new life. #axmi is rateful to parents and uncle$

    however there was no attachment. #ife is like a lotus flower$ rooted in mud$ yet far above it.

    5ncle looked into #axmis eyes and out of sheer helplessness areed to loan #axmi a dhoti.

    After a shower$ wrapped in a dhoti$ #axmi offered tea to 2sho. He smiled. #ater 2sho asked

    uncle to et luni and kurta for #axmi from the baaar. #axmi felt yet another chane. #ess

    thirsty and hunry$ work was a ,oy for #axmi. It was a ,oy to meditate and especially serve

    2sho.

    #axmi did not eat for three days and yet she worked ,oyously. A camper informed 2sho that

    #axmi was not eatin in the past three days. At lunch when #axmi served food to 2sho heinsisted she too ate. #axmi bean with salad. Boticin that #axmi was keepin away from

    spicy food 2sho especially called for boiled and non: spicy food for her.

    7eeply touched with this esture$ #axmi recalled how two years ao at home in +umbai #axmi

    had insisted a dish of peas served to 2sho was non spicy. This despite 2sho said thrice that

    the dish was spicy. Instantly #axmi went to the kitchen$ checked with the cook and found out

    a small reen chilly had been pounded and added to the dish. #axmi returned and apoloied

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    to 2sho. He lauhed and said that she could now eat the rest of the dish. However he added$

    Bow drop the matter$ and re8uested that meals be cooked without chilly.

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    Bow at Barol #axmi realied that a true master answers 8ueries implicitly and indirectly. A

    master helps a disciple to experience and does not encourae ac8uired knowlede. It amaed

    #axmi how 2sho knew that she did not wish to eat spicy food.

    !milin he said$ ho knows$ some day you will be as sensitive.

    #axmi realied that intense meditation had led to automatic and voluntary renunciation of

    spices. #axmi now wished to eat mild and fresh food. Tears rollin down her eyes$ #axmi fell at

    2shos feet and said$ #et the world say what it will$ you are my saturu$ my +aster$ my

    hawan .

    2sho asked #axmi to eat a slice of tomato from his meal. /ust as #axmi did she had an

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    unusual and heihtened experience of awareness of taste.

    2sho left for /abalpur via +umbai the same afternoon. #axmi returned home. -elaxed with her

    eyes closed she voluntarily confined to her room for the next few days. At meal times #axmi

    would ,oin the family however she would leave the table without eatin$ as the food was spicy.

    +ata,i noticed this and talked with her. -elatin the incident at Barol to +ata,i$ #axmi wasassured of non:spicy food at home. 7urin this week #axmi drank tea three times$ a lass of

    milk and lost twenty pounds. 7urin sleep #axmi was conscious and aware as thouh someone

    within her awake. As reards the body #axmi felt fresh$ liht and stron.

    Bow #axmi bean to watch her body and mind with intensity. The body seemed to be in

    constant dance while music ran in her ears. &or three weeks #axmi visualied colors

    whenever she closed her eyes in meditation. The colors were blue$ yellow$ red$ orane and

    black. #axmi desired to wear only the colors she visualied and re8uested +ata,i to provide

    her with kurta and luni in thin material. +ata,i mumbled that #axmi was a cray child$

    however she had new clothes made for #axmi.

    A few days in this process #axmi informed +ata,i that she would now wear only dark orane

    and asked for five pairs of luni and kutra. #axmi declared that she did not need rest of the

    clothes so these could be iven away. The switch to orane was spontaneous althouh #axmi

    was not aware what the color dark orane denoted in India until +ata,i warned he. !he said

    that it demanded a lifelon commitment$ a resolute to non:withdraw and that no exit option

    was available. This is the color of renunciation and sannyas$ she said.

    #axmi trusted her inner voice. #auhin aloud she said$ The future is unknown$ however at

    present it feels ood to wear orane clothes.

    "radually #axmi withdrew from all social activities and work. !he remained happily confined to

    her room. (erhaps a month later$ clad in orane she went to receive 2sho at +umbai railwaystation. A lare crowd had athered to receive him. Boticin #axmi because of the strikin

    color he called her and en8uired$ hat does the chane of color mean

    #axmi responded that it happened spontaneously.

    2sho said$ eautiful. It is very ood. This marks the beinnin of the neo sannyas and

    you are the first sannyasin. Bow I will bein ivin sannyas to people who wish to be

    initiated. &urther he explained neo sannyas would be life affirmative unlike the life neative

    traditional sannyas. Bow people need not renounce and 8uit family$ home and occupation.

    Instead people should turn their homes into temples with their love and lauhter.

    A few neative and ,ealous minds did not appreciate #axmis new clothes and felt that this

    would be a hindrance in 2shos work. However #axmi had 2shos approval.

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    It was proposed that 2sho be invited to live in +umbai. 2shos reply was simple. He would be

    fine in any place$ however people would need to be aware that no one was oblied to him. He

    said that the invitation stemmed from peoples love for him$ however he would not accept any

    interference in his work. He warned that the messae was to help people to be aware. 2sho

    8uoted the example of the lady on a train who wished to learn kundalini$ awakenin

    techni8ue. &urther he said when a doctor examines a patient do patients do not decline

    examination. !imilarly as a doctor of the spiritual world he would have to do the needful. As

    reards funds 2sho said that it was up to the trustees to take care of the needs of 2shos

    work. The trust could publish books$ chare entry fee to visitors for lectures$ chare for food

    and lodin. 2sho was not in need of money for personal expenses. The trustees areed to

    these proposals and 2sho accepted their invitation to live in +umbai.

    ith this decision #axmi was over,oyed. !he was reminded 2sho often said that a uru comes

    to be with disciples once they have matured. #axmi saw thins fallin into place$ as more and

    more people were eaer to be initiated and wanted to work for 2sho.

    An apartment was rented out on fourth floor in 99I uildin$ +arine drive. +any people came

    to visit 2sho. Invariably the lift would malfunction owin to overload. In the afternoons 2sho

    would take a nap while #axmi would return home to eat and shower and returned in the

    evenin. 2ne afternoon #axmi stood outside 99I uildin with a friend$ waitin to be driven

    home. Two ladies$ who passed by noticed #axmis orane clothes$ bowed to her and in8uired

    who she was. (romptly #axmis friend replied$ !he is +a =oa #axmi and has come to see

    Acharya -a,neesh who lives here. He happened to know them. /ust as he finished makinthis statement he retreated and went in to see 2sho aain. #axmi informed him the driver had

    arrived. +oreover 2sho would be asleep. However he was persistent.

    He told 2sho that he was surprised why he had referred to #axmi$ whom he had known for

    lon as +a =oa #axmi. !ittin up in bed 2sho took a fresh sheet of paper and wrote +a

    =oa #axmi$ !ecretary to Acharya -a,neesh. Handin the sheet over to #axmi 2sho explained

    to #axmi that with the death of a person the identity dies too. !imilarly with a new birth a

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    person ets a new name. #axmi you are reborn. A chaned name will help you to disconnect

    with the life you have lived so far and commence a new life hen I initiate people each male

    will have a prefix swami and each womans name will have prefix ma to her name. +a

    means mother. It denotes feminine attributes includin warmth$ love$ soft and care. hile

    swami is one who is a master of the self$ one who has con8uered the unconscious .

    +eanwhile #axmi was keen to wear a mala with 2shos locket in her neck. A few days later

    someone suested that a mala with a locket of 2shos picture be introduced. 2sho approved

    it.

    This too amaed #axmi.

    !hortly after this 4Dth !eptember 1?@E marked the beinnin of a new era. At a meditation

    camp at +anali$ Himachal (radesh$ 2sho initiated twelve people$ includin #axmi$ a western

    and a /apanese woman. +anali is a beautiful hill resort enveloped by tall mountains. #axmi

    liked these lush reen mountains scantily populated with sparse residential houses. Hih peaks

    stood firm at a distance. The more distant virin peaks were clad in snow. There was a feelin

    of vastness and expanse in these mountains. 7eep ores and canyons seemed to have

    bottomless depths.

    Beo sannyasins were advised to wear lose clothes particularly durin meditation. The twelve

    neo:sannyasins were iven new names written on a letterhead each personally by 2sho.

    Asked to wear a mala$ with a locket of 2shos picture$ the sannyasins were explained its

    sinificance. They were told like beads of the mala strun in one thread$ similarly all the paths

    of spirituality led to one absolute and ultimate truth. Therefore it was meaninless to arue

    with someone on the credibility of any sinle path. 2shos picture in the locket was a constant

    reminder that he was faceless$ a non:entity$ a commoner$ a nobody.

    At +anali there were over fifty people and the atherin was intimate. #eadin 7ynamic+editation 2sho said that all must put in their utmost to enable transformation to take place.

    6ach sannyasin and friend worked hard and meditation was an intense experience. It was an

    experience of timelessness. This was followed by discourse in the mornin and evenin. 2sho

    spoke on #ord 0rishna$ a Hindu od at +anali. After the mornin meditation 2sho would return

    to his room. "enerally some disciples would sit around 2sho while he talked spontaneously

    #axmi felt indeed fortunate to be present with the master in the mountains. It was an

    extraordinary camp. -arely had man been alone with a master$ meditatin and workin on

    self: transformation in the Himalayas. &or thousands of years man had fouht wars$ was

    involved with mundane activities and there was no opportunity for the rowth human

    consciousness. However there were several such small islands of timelessness amidstmundane human existence in Indian civiliation.

    +eanwhile in +umbai several people were bein initiated. Initially there two options available

    for sannyas. There were sadhus initiated who wore white and continued livin as

    householders. In some cases people were initiated temporarily for a few months in order to

    enable them to ad,ust to a new lifestyle. !annyasins were initiated for lon:term. #ater the

    title sadhu and temporary sannyas were dropped. 2nly sannyas was offered and all became

    sannyasins.

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    painted orane. 2sho accompanied the trustees for a test ride on the first day. He asked

    #axmi to drive. !hort in heiht #axmi sat on cushions at the wheel and looked indeed tiny.

    2sho sat in the front seat while four friends sat in the rear. He asked #axmi to speed up and

    o on the hihway. !uddenly the car was oomin at 14E kilometers per hour speed. At this

    point 2sho asked #axmi to chane seats with her. #axmi stopped and sat in the naviators

    seat. 2sho drove at 1;E to 1GE kilometers per hour. It was fun until he applied brakessuddenly and friends seated behind were cauht unawares. 7ue to the abrupt ,erk they hit

    their heads aainst the car. At this point #axmi apprised 2sho that the car had power brakes

    and needed entle application especially when speedin. All the passeners lauhed and

    #axmi resumed drivin.

    #axmis family was fond of cars and had several imported cars at home. arely nine years old

    #axmi first practiced drivin around the arae owned by her brother. #axmi was fond of cars.

    Beo !annyas drive took shape rather casually. 6ven thouh the scales around 2sho were

    small$