kenyon collegiate issue 2.2

8/3/2019 Kenyon Collegiate Issue 2.2

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Philander’s Most Splendiferous Source of News and Gossip. Vol. 2, Issue 2 September 16, 2009

ampus-Wide Riot Leaves Only McBride, Mather Unscathy Dingo Rockefeller

cBRIDE HALL— The rampage of studentshich tore through virtually all of campus lastesday left only Mather and McBride Hallse from harm, according to Dean of Housingd Residential Life Alicia Dugas. The riot,hich began in Peirce Servery, was reportedlyoted in students’ seething frustrations aboute long lines and lack of vegetarian options.

vicious boil in the person of Ed-

und Derby ‘11, who tipped overe soft serve machine shouting

We want food! We want food!”“I just couldn’t take it anymore,”d an unapologetic Derby, “I wasngry, I was going to be late fory seminar and there were about aousand people in there. I was leftlding a cold bagel and a scoop of ttage cheese.”“Literally, cottage cheese,” heded.Derby’s actions sent off a chainaction that spread from Peirce toth sides of campus, gaining mo-

entum as it went. Moving swiftlyom Leonard to Old Kenyon andward, hundreds stormed throughe hallways, tearing down doors,

smashing windows and leaving South Campuswith, in custodian Mike Green’s chilling words,“Send-off-like damages.”

North Campus was likewise assaulted ashordes of students roved through downtownGambier and the freshman quad, armed withX-acto knives and shattered bongs. As GundResidence Hall smoldered wildly in the back-ground, Assistant Director Matt Troutman washeard to say, “You fool, Graham Gund, you hu-

bristic fool! You should have known yodividers and enormous student lounge be no match for the ravening masses!”

The riot continued unabated until threached McBride Residence, where, accto those on the scene, an unearthly calmover all those present. “As soon as we ethe building and beheld the narrow, ing corridors, the air-conditioned roomthe isolated halls promoting small, co

clusters of students, we ferage subsiding,” said mob

ber Lance Alexanian ‘09, “tsome of us tried to keep rioti just...couldn’t. We began to peace with the whole world

“I looked at the hall murbear wearing pajamas and started crying” said mob ber Nicolas Harrington ‘12because I was sad, but becrealized how beautiful thisadventure we call life is.”

Dropping their blood-sweapons into the trash chucepting those made of plastmetal which were duly rec

the mob began to disperse, msure to tiptoe past residents’because it was after quiet ho

Football Team Forced To Share Turf With Quidditchy Diesel Jackson

MCBRIDE FIELD — As the result of a con-oversial scheduling error, the Kenyon Col-ge Varsity Football team has been arranged to

hare half of McBride Field with the Quidditchub for the entire fall season.

“Outrageous,” said Football Head Coached Stanley. “This is an outrage. How does thisappen? I’m trying to run a well-oiled machinend I have to look at this Dungeons and Drag-ns bullshit all afternoon?”

When asked about the mess-up, KAC Direc-or Douglas Zipp had little comment. “It hap-ens,” he said, “I just overlooked it. I was put-ng together the schedule the same night that Two and a

Half Men. I don’t know. I was distracted.”D’Artagnan Farx, the Captain and Keeper

een “really great for us. The Pogs Team bul-ed us off of Peirce Lawn near the end of lastemester, so this is great!”

“And they’re dangerous,” Stanley added.

-ing at my quarterback — nearly dislocatedhis shoulder! It’s unbelievable that we have tostoop — Wachouski! Do NOT stick that broomup there! Drop it!”

Farx had more positive comments about

the integration. “The football guys have been upped our intensity,” he said, blocking theT-shirts. Check it out!” he said, turning to dis-play a T-shirt that read, “Power the Will, Willthe Power. Respect the Challenge, Challengethe Respect.”

“I will say, though,” said Stanley, “one of their players has caught my attention. The oth-ers call him the ‘Snitch,’ some kind of wackynickname. His reputation precedes him. Hisspeed, his persistence. Sounds like my kind of guy. I’m hoping to meet him soon. Maybe I canconvince him to come play on the greener, lessgay side of the turf.”

INSIDE THIS ISSUE:LIBRARY STOPS OFFERING BOOKS AFTER 4 PM

DELTS IN EXISTENCE FOR RECORD-BREAKING 11 MI

JUNIOR INADVERTENTLY COMPLETES ANTH MINOR

TRUSTEES JUST WON’T SHUT UP

Bromeo And JulA NORTH SIDE STOR

By Eegull Eggelstein

NEW APARTMENTS — Rival gangs into a dance-off at New Apartments on night that resulted in the death of lacrosscaptain Sumner Winsterhammerman ‘1a group of lacrosse players was returnD-Block they were confronted by a groWoodsiders, an off-campus group of hiwho were returning to Caples for the evAccording to an anonymous tip, the grrift between the two gangs started when

(Continued on Pa



Alarm Clock Slip-Up Ruptures Space-Time Continuumy Beauregard Beauregard

LD KENYON — In what ex- a series of temporal blunders

ound campus, Ricky Wilson2 mis-set his alarm clock forne o’clock p.m. instead of a.m.,aring a hole in the space–timentinuum which consumed sev-al pages of his English paper, aommate, and many of his peers’

me-management skills.Wilson went to bed expecting to

ake up with an hour before class;stead, he discovered a worldned upside-down.“I can’t sleep, I can’t eat,” hed in a televised interview onlk of the Hill last week. “I leaver class early, realize I’m alreadye, and then just wait aroundr fear of missing it the next

me it meets.” Numerous reportsve come in of students stand-g around in hallways outsideassrooms in Ascension and Samather for days on end, dark cir-es under their eyes, staring intoe middle distance and shivering.The crisis has wormed its wayo the lives of even the most re-onsible students. Caroline Was-rwobble ’13, widely celebratedr her perfect attendance, perfectades, and all-around generalrfection in high school, set herarm last Wednesday night for

:00 a.m. instead of 8:00 a.m.“I thought it was Thursday,” she

Historical Reenactment Society Reenacts Returny Granny Hayes

AMBIER — After two years onobation the Kenyon Historicalenactment Society has returnedcampus. Under the new direc-n of Dorothy Wadsworth ‘10e Society is hoping to restorereputable image and excite stu-

nts about historical events thatnge from zero to little modern - tually planning on reenacting hisaugural address.”In the spring of 2008 the Soci- e administration discovered aan to reenact the murder of Grig-

Rasputin. The Historical Reen-tment Society targeted Harold

-tin, was a sorcerer.

story of little red riding hood” -

place the forest with tsarist Rus-sia and the wolf with Rasputin.And instead of leading the wolf red riding hood poisons the wolf,shoots him repeatedly, clubs himinto submission and then drowns

magical powers” commented anoriginal KHRS member Gregactually a PEEP who had beentripping on PCP and Red Vinesfor three days, reciting the lyricsto White Rabbit by Jefferson Air- incident involving a fat suit and a

bathtub, it was pretty clear the So-

ciety was in serious trouble”However, with the Historical

feet old members are concernedthat, with their rebellious days inthe past, the Society is going to

reenactment of Washington cross-ing the Delaware was pretty lame” noodle and halfway across we got

passed by a golden retriever play-ing fetch with its owner. Had I going to turn into elderly wom- have had my mom express order 18th century breeches from loo-neyforpantaloons.com.”

George Lameington one more

screamed as emergency paramed-ics dragged her into an ambulance.“Thursday!”

Junior Sally McNally took a naptwo days ago, setting the alarm onher cell phone for 15 minutes be-fore her next class; she woke upthree minutes before it was sup-posed to go off. “I’m normallyreally enthusiastic about napping.Lying down used to be one of myfavorite activities,” she recalled.“Now I’m just living in a constantstate of dread.”

A small contingent of students,however, has gone about busi-ness as usual. Kurt Pilgrim ’10,an exchange student from Tralfa-

madore, claimed to be unaffectedby the turn of events: “All timeis all time. It does not change. Itdoes not lend itself to warnings orexplanations. It simply is. Take itmoment by moment, and you will -fore, bugs in amber.”

Madeleine Murry ‘11 used thenewly-formed tesseract behind thelibrary to go back in time and dobetter on the SATs, causing all evi-dence of her ever having been atKenyon to vanish out of existence.

When consulted about repair-existence, Kenyon’s newest phys-

ics professor, Dr. Emmett Brown, formerly of Hill University, would only insiwhere we’re going, we donroads.

Hurry Up, IHolding the DoBy That Guy

GAMBIER — Oh man. Ywalking just so slowly righI was heading to Peirce for but apparently going throughCommons was a poor chowanted to hold the door foand if I had known you’d

ing head-to-head with the snthe ground I wouldn’t havwe made eye contact and nooddly committed to this. Dhave asphalt in your shoes? time I get to Peirce they’ll of forks. I’ll have to eat thloin with a spoon again.

feet behind me when I lookeed to hold this goddamn piwood for you, and now I’mhere waiting for your slow catch up. No but it’s OK. R

I’ll just stand here and smyou. It’s a smile of martyrdocause I’m suffering for you.course you can’t get the doyourself. It takes much mor just 4 pounds of force to oBelieve me, I’m the one bones are shattering here.

Can’t you walk any I’m trying to send you a mthrough ESP that you clearlnot understand. I’m saying,into the next gear and let’sthis bitch past 1.6 mph,” buyou are sauntering along lik

is some kind of- Did you juto tie your shoe? Are you sme? ARE YOU SHITTINGListen, short stack, my patiedwindling. Keep up the shgans and I’ll wait here widoor just so I can smash youslow face in it. Do not smileDo not. I will end you. Combaby, home stretch! Home s

door, and now I get to plmyself by doing this threetimes. I think I heard you a thank you, but whatever. Mwell have been a voodoo curmuch for being nice.

Timeline pandemonium outside Ascension Hall.



Hyde, Fennessy Granted Tentaclesy Ed Strictly

OSSE HALL — Two of Kenyon’s most re-ected professors have recently receivedntacles: M. Siobhan Fennessy, professor of ology and co-director of the Brown Familyvironmental Center; and Lewis Hyde, Rich-

d L. Thomas Professor of Creative Writing.

Fennessy, who has been teaching at Kenyonr eleven years, said, “Receiving tentacles ise of the highlights of an academic career. Itels great.”Hyde said that receiving tentacles “is a niceeling of accomplishment, and it has beenonderful to hear the kind words and goodshes of so many Kenyon cephalopods this

eek.”Both professors join the ranks of legend-

y professors like Peter Rutkoff, Kathryn Ed-ards, and Perry Lentz, who have been utiliz-g their muscular hydrostats for years. “I’mproud of both of them,” said Lentz during

phone interview. “Being granted elongated

y life.”But it’s not just an honor. Tentacles are

eant to serve as an added incentive for espe-ally talented thinkers who seem to be inhib-d by four limbs. “I would encourage themt to grow complacent in their new security,”ntz encouraged, “or forget how much of a

sponsibility comes with having tentacles. Illed them my Eight Consciences. I had theility to get more done, and they held me to”Indeed, if tentacles are inactive for an inor-nate amount of time, they have the tendencyemit a noxious ink out of their pores. For thisason, tentacled professors are encouragedbe particularly cautious around loved ones.

evertheless, the joy Hyde and Fennessy are

feeling this week overshadows any concernsfor the future.

“I’m relieved that the review process is overand had a successful conclusion. My wife andecosystem are extremely relieved,” Hyde said.“When I told my eight-year-old daughter thatI was awarded tentacles, she jumped up anddown, and during one of her jumps, I got theidea to scoop her up with one of my tentaclesand hold her in the air, and I held her tight astears rolled down her face. Later that day, sheasked me which tentacle I had used to hug her,and I told her that now that I was bilaterallysymmetrical, I just didn’t know. That’s a mo-

ment I’ll never forget.”

Lewis Hyde, recently tentacled Professor.

By Skeeter Demiglace

PICNIC BENCH OUTSIDE HANNASafety and Security were alerted last Thuthat a suspicious man — possibly a tran

— was wandering aimlessly through Campus, shedding his clothes. Safety anspond to the scene.

Said Boone, “We found the suspicioustleman after we followed the trail of itemthrew off in his disorientation,” addingfound several objects including two pa holes and a pack of Camel Menthols. Thpect was found hyperventilating in theposition outside Hanna Hall.”

After questioning the suspected tranSafety and Security quickly realized thman in question was actually Freddy Leip

career, ventured farther South than the MGround. “I’ve never had a class outside oArt Barn and I thought I would check outgoes on down there, but the combinatichino shorts and gargoyles over there disoriented me,” said Leipbaum.

North Campus — once a hipster havnity brothers this year as a consequence “Milk Cartons” being converted to the “and Cookies” apartments. As a result, se selves walking down Woodside Drive onurday evenings.

Leipbaum said he was doing his best tegrate. “The fraternity guys have been

their best to hang out with us, so I thouwould venture south to gain a perspectitheir lives,” he said. “Maybe I’ll try sometime. The Horn Gallery seemed lcould be a home away from home.”

Hipster AccidentaWanders South

Senior Never Going to Act on Freshman-Year ‘Hmm’ Gurl Wulf

TEPS OF ROSSE — As on most Thursdayernoons between 1:00–1:10 p.m., Elizabetheffer ’10 was found sitting on the steps of osse, peering eagerly across the lawn to theors of Peirce. She was waiting for a brief

ghting of Jack Larson ’10, on whom she hasd a crush for nearly three years, as he ex-d a late lunch and headed to The Jazz Age,ssing right by her perch on the stone steps, ale behind a big pillar.Pfeffer said, catching sight of him, “Oh myaaawd, he was my hmm freshman year —member? The dating doctor? He was like,verybody has a hmm, and someday it’ll turnt that your hmm turns into one of your bestends and you’ll laugh about the times you

mm-ed over him.’ Remember? Well, that’shat it’s like. Only forever.”Pfeffer has never spoken to Larson, and inct has no real desire to. “It’s better this way,”e said. “When we meet at the ten-year re-ion, he’ll be so impressed that I didn’t evento talk to him the whole time we were in

hool together.”Lest anyone think Pfeffer’s crush is based

on nothing but Larson’s matted golden locksand sweet Volkswagen Jetta, she said that theyare both Political Science majors and both goto the KAC between eight and ten at night.How much of this is coincidence and howmuch is because Pfeffer has followed Larson’sschedule since the third day of freshman yearis up for debate, but she swears there’s moreto it.

After much Facebook stalking, friend-asking-friend data-gathering, and even someskillfully maneuvered treadmill-overhearingsessions, Pfeffer has discovered that theyboth have collections of license plates fromthe Eastern seaboard. “Hardly anyone has anold-school Maryland plate, but I’ve heard thatJack does. Clearly, he’s a keeper,” Pfeffer said,happily anticipating the day she “accidentally”runs into him and he realizes she’s the creeperwho’s been asking about him since day one.

“It’s a thin line,” says Pfeffer’s freshman-year roommate, Ursula Hayes ’10. “I thinkyou get to know her, it’s really just a very af-fectionate brand of following someone arounda lot, or sighing over them from across Peirce.It’s kind of sweet.”

Clefairy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Skeeter DemigSlowbro . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Diesel JackHolographic Venasaur . . . Luther HoneybuGengar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Charlie AdPidgeotto . . . . . . . . . Beauregard BeauregTentacruel . . . . . . . . . . . . . Eegull EggelsVictreebell . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Granny HPsyduck . . . . . . . . . Satchmo Dirk JerFarfetch’d . . . . . . . . . . . . Esteban Sincl

Butterfree . . . . . . . . . . . Dingo RockefeChansey . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jean ShGeodude . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ed StriEevee . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Gurl WLickitung . . . . . . . . . . . Sheridan WhitePikachu . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Gordelo 3

Editorial Assistants . . . . . . . . . Ash chum, Brock, Misty, Lt. Surge, Professor OGary, Erika, Bill, Missingno., Safari Wa

Interns . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Meowth, Arb

Founder/Editor Emeritus . . . . . . Louis FraAlbert Victor Nicholas Collegiate, 1st Earl Clegiate of Ohio, KG, GCB, GCSI, GCIE, GC

C OLLEGIATE STAFF



sterhammerman invited Woodsider Ziegler ’10 to Middle Ground on a daweek. On the night of the battle, observeWoodsiders accosted the “laxers” by inspastel colors.

Ziegler and Winsterhammerman metbeginning of the semester in a philoclass. Ziegler had been in a relationshipfellow Woodsider Ted Liebowitz ’11, bter spending the previous semester in PZiegler says, “I wasn’t sure where thing

going between Teddy and me. He didn’ta huge effort to speak to me while I was nyon or in Prague, but that’s just Teddyknow? He’s such a goof-ball.”

Liebowitz says, “Juliet and I were inibly close ever since the beginning of man year. I can’t believe that she was to ditch me for a lacrosse player. For thyear, I’ve only been thinking about my ite band, Chromeo, and Juliet.”

The night of September 11th was whmutual displeasure became violence.sion thickened between the rival gangs dance-off began. Winsterhammermanowned for his grinding, stepped up to

lenge the Woodsiders. In response, Liebbegan convulsing everywhere. The moved into help, but Liebowitz brushedaway, insisting he was dancing.

“I was doing the Hegelian Shake,” Leitz said. “It’s a pretty obscure move. Phaven’t really heard of it.”

“Sumner was fucked-up,” said teamBro Lucas Granholm ‘10, visibly upsethad started at the VI right after class eThen we bro-ed out outside of Leonarthen we went to the Cove. By the time wback to D-Block and fucked up those Wsiders, he was gone. He just hit the dronever came back up.”

Bystanders say that Woodsiders leftsterhammerman on the ground as they waway, shouting the classic Sombrero Flyric, “Don’t come creepin’ ‘round f

In addition, inside sources report thWiggin Street Hoodlums have been sprerumors about both gangs for weeks in dance with their plan to takeover Gamb

(From BROMEO: Pa

Gossip Squirrel

Wakey wakey, Kenyon Scholars! GossipSquirrel here with some news for you. It’sbeen a slow gossip season during these toastymonths, but I’ve managed to stay glamorousjumping gleefully with my furry companionsbetwixt the trees.

The land is green and bountiful and I havebeen frolicking vigorously to trim my merrynut belly. Too revealing? Remember that nowis the prime time to be gathering nuts, forwhen the winter hits the nuts will be frozenand you will be cold. If you know what I mean.

Hello hello to all you single senior ladiesout there. You know it’s a prime season to playcougar and participate in those extra-curric-ular encounters. There are many fresh youngacorns out there, so be cunning. Sometimes I

like to leap from a tree to take my men by sur-prise. Growl.

The leaves are already falling as the sunnyhours dwindle. Less and less time to bronzemy wholesome underside. Ooh la la! Did thatmake you blush?

You know you love me.XOXO,Gossip Squirrel

Your one-and-only sourceinto the scandalous lives of

Kenyon’s elite

Holy Shit, I’m,Like, Abroad!By Jean Shortz

hey y’all!i’m so honored that the collegiate chose

me to write an editorial about my semesterabroad haha.

i was going to enroll in a fashion-mar-keting program in london, but i decided togo on an experimental program in tajikistan— sounds totally random, but annie andchastity, two of my best friends from campmerrimack, told me about it. they said theywere going, and then on the last night of camp at the dance (we had chugged whitewine spritzers while our campers were get-ting ready lol bAdDaSsEs), they totallyconvinced me to go with them.

well, they’re not fucking here. turns out,

they found out that i was the one that toldthe camp director that annie was pregnant,and so they made up this program and soldme into slavery. so i’m here. alone. wear- whatever it is. but, hey. i’m so adaptable.i’m totally going to make the best of this,duh. hahahahahaha.

okay, so my “family.” i’m living withthe khayrulloyevs. they’re a lot differentfrom my real family lol. i have three moms,fourteen sisters, and eleven brothers… ihaven’t met the brothers because i’m notallowed to talk to men while i’m here…that’s what one of my moms told me. i

don’t think it would be a big deal, though. iburned a t.i. cd, an oasis cd, and a coldplaycd for my brothers and left them at the gateto their wing of the house last night. one of the whores who was going in took them soshe was probably going to give them to oneof my brothers (seriously, the girls here areSUCH sweethearts).

I’m not really sure about the nightlife just yet… i know opiates are like kind of a big deal just because i work in an opi- not sure if i want to try any of the drugsyet. it could be fun! when in rome! hahaanchorman… more like, when enslaved

by druglords on the peak korzhenevskaya,north of ismoil somoni, on the south bankof muksu river!!! lol

I’m not sure where my university is orwhen i start (or if i start lol), but that will benice to get to know some locals. also, i’llall hahahahaha jk i think i will be able to!in winter 2010, so i’ll hopefully make thatone.

anyway, thx for reading my article. youcan follow me at twitter.com/middleeasts-weetness or read my blog: iminfreakinta- jik.blogspot.com



themselves supply. An allstu I senteven alleged that S. Georgia Nu-gent is in fact a snowman come tolife, viciously attempting to endwinter once and for all. Pull thewool from your eyes, readers; itfeels good to see again.

What’s the worst that couldhappen if the dorms are heated?Something awful, that’s what. Last-tures of Dean Delahunty all meltedNot to mention a gallon of milkI bought went bad just sitting onmy desk. Students at Kenyon havebeen subjected to this kind of in-dignity for decades. When askedfor comment, the administrationannounced, “What? You’re against

heating? Don’t be ridiculous,Dwayne. This isn’t another one of your articles, is it?” Looks like the joke’s on them.

But heating in our dorms is not just a cruel joke: it’s a cruel real-ity. As the Heat Miser from The

Year Without A Santa Claus oncesang, “They call me Heat Miser.Whatever I touch starts to melt inmy clutch. I’m too much.” Neverbefore have those words rung sotrue. The heat misers currentlyrunning Kenyon College will stopat nothing to rob students of na-ture’s beautiful, icy grasp. And to-day heated buildings can be foundworldwide! American collegesproudly — proudly! — uphold thetradition of warming their chilly

students when the wintgets too much. Few collegeever escape out into the costead, they become complacthe warm glow of their hWhat’s next for these kidspreventative healthcare?

I hope that all of this seropen your eyes to the world awas a big step for Homo sa just look at the colonizaanywhere that isn’t in Afrthe Levant. But when it comheated dorms in wintertime, just one word for you: SocI have fourteen more: I lithink that heating our dormmove equivalent to Sovietcide. Thank you.

By DwayneDunderdellPres., KenyonLibertarians

Just last monthas we students

returned to campus, a friend of mine said, “It’s

old tonight.” The message wasear from her shiver alone: cold-ess, a common symptom of theoaming of the day had arrived inambier, Ohio. Oh, we were givene usual advice: “put on pants”

nd “lay off the popsicles.” Luck-y, announced the maintenanceaff, Kenyon College’s dorms areeated in the winter.

Another disaster averted, eh?ut check yourself, reader, beforeou wreck yourself. For in the win-

r of 1860, it got cold all acrosse United States. And that same

ear, Paul Bunyan, a giant lumber-ck, famously stated, “I don’t feel ears ago, it was so cold that ev-y breath I blew would freeze andnd on my foot.” That December,ost Americans gave in to the

old — save two. Paul Bunyan ands blue ox Babe soldiered on. Ase all know, Paul and Babe choseell that winter’s day. It got so

old that all the clouds and the sunoze solid and fell straight down

ut of the sky, killing more than00 people right in their houses.nly Paul and Babe, who mea-

ured 60 feet tall with their bootsff, survived the catastrophe.

Here we are, almost 200 yearster, and we seem to have learnedothing. Sure, we’d like to thinkat Americans, not to mentionenyon students, still have theerseverance taught to us by thatroud giant lumberjack, but Inow that this is not the case.

Kenyon maintenance workersan often be seen hauling bags

ound in the snow, refusing theery dorm room heat that they

As Winter Draws Near, A Look At The Ethics Of Heatin

2009-10 Pre-Season A Cappella Power Rankin1

CORNERSTONES

J-Christ is number one in our hearts here at The Collegiate. We look forward to The Corne

stones risin’ up on the third day and ushering in a similar dominance to that of Western Ch

tendom over the past 2000 years.

2PEALERS

Though they’re not an a cappella group — and they’ve never held a concert — perhaps thi

their break-out year? Gotta love those bells.

3OWL CREEKS

Recovering from the devestating loss of their hottest member, the Creeks will actually hav

bank on the quality of their singing.

4TAKE 5

the charts?

5STAIRWELLS

Sorry, Stairwells. But there’s already a group called Fleet Foxes.

6CHASERS

After the loss of some serious rhythm section talent, the Chasers may well be losing the tit

7KOKOSINGERS

The Kokosingers are starting this year as the friendliest, most upstanding group on campus

By Luther Honeybucket

IN THE NEXT ISSUE...

NEW STUDY REPORTS: MIDDLE PATH “SLOWLY CURVING”

A PSI UDYSSEY: THE SEARCH FOR A NEW “MILKS”

BOARD OF TRUSTEES REJECT C OLLEGIAN , STIMULUS FUNDS

kenyon collegiate issue 2.2

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