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Journeyof Joy

28 Days of Finding You

__________

Kelly Epperson


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JOURNEY OF JOY - 28 Days of Finding You

Copyright 2014 by Kelly Epperson

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, in whole or

in part, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any

means without written permission from the author.

ISBN 978-0-9894521-2-0

Printed in USA (www.48HrBooks.com)


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Dedication

For my Angel Boy, always


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Acknowledgements

To all my joy teachers, past and present, you have come in

many disguises. I thank you all.


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About the Author

Its been an eventful journey since my days as an IRS auditor.

The snapshot of the resume now includes teaching English as a

Second Language; working for a nonprofit agency called The

Literacy Council where my duties included instructor, admin, and

court jester; then freelance writing & ghostwriting; and now Book

Coach.

In there too was a year in the south of France. Oui oui! That

inadvertently led to me becoming a public speaker something I

never dreamed of, and in fact, it scared me. Now I love it.

I also became a life coach (a joy coach), and I started the

Happiness Club of Loves Park.

Writing always was and is part of who I am. Helping folks withtheir writing projects was something I did on the side, and now its

my business. As a book coach, I combine all my varied expertise to

help people share their mission and their message.

What doesnt show on a persons resume is life in the trenches.

Through divorce after twenty years of marriage, becoming an

empty nester, and all the ups and downs of life, I learned to trust inme and my inner wisdom. I now am married to the man I call

Prince Charming and we daily create a life that is beyond anything

I ever dreamed of. We even named our company Joy Beyond Your

Dreams, Inc.

Thats our mission. We want you to believe in possibilities, and

most importantly, the possibility of you.


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If you would like inspiration delivered to your inbox every

Friday, please sign up via [email protected]. To hire me as

a coach or speaker, use that same email or call toll free

888-637-3563.

Visit www.kellyepperson.com or drop a note to PO Box 2324,

Loves Park, IL 61131. I always love hearing from you! We are on

this journey together!
mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]


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Introduction

When I divorced, several women (and men) asked me to write

a book about how to survive divorce with ones joy still intact.

This is not that book.

This book is for you to live each day with your joy intact. It

doesnt matter if divorce is part of your story. We all have our

stuff. We all have a history. We all have our hang ups, our

doubts, and our fears. The journey to joy is admitting that we have

fear and deciding to do a dance with it.

Maybe your mom just died. Maybe your best friend moved

across the country. Maybe you are not loving your job. Whatever

your situation, this is your journey. You get to choose each step.

Step by step you can discover more about yourself. Step by stepyou can discover how to be stronger in yourself.

This book includes some essays and a months worth of

exercises so you can take the journey your soul came here for. All

you need is a willingness to go deeper into yourself.

You also need a journal. So much good comes when we write.

Something happens within us when we take pen to paper. It isdifferent than fingers on keyboard. So grab your favorite pen and a

notebook.

The journal is for your eyes only, for your benefit only.

Dont be fooled by the simplicity of this little book. Wonderful

things come in small packages. If you do the work, you will feel

the results.


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You will start to live from a deeper place within you. You will

make your decisions from that place of guidance. When you do so,

things change.

Your life can change. You can let go of the stress, the self-

doubt, and the second guessing. The journey is not one TO joy. Its

about being there. You can continually be on a journey OF joy.

Please join me! Cheers!


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Listen to Your Heart

Intuition. Instinctive knowledge. It never lies. Ponder your

connection with your intuition. Are you tapped in?

The mind is good and yes, it is wise to use our heads. It is

also wise to use your heart. If the decision ever comes down to

your mind or your heart, listen to your heart.

Listen to your heart.

Cease trying to work everything out with your minds. It will

get you nowhere. Live by intuition and inspiration and let your

whole life be Revelation.

Eileen Caddy

Dont try to comprehend with your mind. Your minds are

very limited. Use your intuition.

Madeleine LEngle, A Wrinkle in Time

Intuition is seeing with the soul.

Dean Koontz

If you let your fear of consequence prevent you from

following your deepest instinct, your life will be safe, expedient

and thin.

Katharine Butler Hathaway


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Learn to let your intution gut instinct tell you when the

food, the relationship, the job isnt good for you (and conversely,

when what youre doing is just right.)

Oprah Winfrey

Listen to your intuition. It will tell you everything you need

to know.

Anthony J. DAngelo

The only real valuable thing is intuition.

- Albert Einstein

Trusting you intuition means tuning in as deeply as you can

to the energy you feel, following that energy moment to moment,trusting that it will lead you where you want to go and bring you

everything you desire.

Shakti Gawain

Intuition is the highest form of intelligence, transcending

all individual abilities and skills. Sylvia Clare

Trust the instinct to the end, though you can render no

reason.

Ralph Waldo Emerson


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Intuition is your Source whispering to you.

Karen Whitaker

Trust your intuition.

It will never steer you wrong.


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Day One

No man can reveal to you aught but that whichalready lies half asleep in the dawning of your knowledge.The teacher who walks in the shadow of the temple, amonghis followers, gives not of his wisdom but rather of his faithand his lovingness. If he is indeed wise he does not bid youenter the house of his wisdom, but rather leads you to thethreshold of your own mind.

Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

Begin to believe that there is wise counsel deep inside you.

You are accessing it more and more each day.

Its time for you to enter the house of your own wisdom.

Joy Assignment:

In your journal, write down the times and situations when

you were wise. Not smart as in winning a spelling bee or getting

good grades; wise. You are wise when you trust your gut instinct

and act on it. You are wise when you listen to your heart.

Example:

I was wise to hold my tongue in that conversation with myex last week.

I am wise when I listen to my body and take a nap.

I am wise....

Write down as many as you can think of. Write down at

least five.


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Day Two

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are...Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfectTomorrow. Mary Jean Iron

Today is rare and perfect. Right here, right now. When we

see every day as a treasure, we are living a life of joy.

Be on the lookout for buried treasure. What is wonderful?

What made you smile? What was funny? What went your way?

What made you feel calm, peaceful, joyful?

As you go through the day, be glad at the noticing.

Joy Assignment: If you read this in the morning before you start your day,

make a vow to seek and discover at least five treasures today. Be

on the lookout all day. Write them in your journal tonight before

bed.

If you are reading this at the end of your day, reflect back

on the day from the moment you got up to this moment right now.What was good? What was beautiful? What was surprising?

What made you feel content? What inspired? What lifted you?

Write at least five things and smile as you write them.


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Day Three

If you look for the bad in people expecting to find it,you surely will. Abraham Lincoln

The opposite is true. If you look for the good in people

expecting to find it, you surely will.

What do you look for? Yesterdays assignment was to focus on the treasure in your

day. You are going to do that again today, now looking for the good

the treasure in people.

The more you train your brain to expect to find the good,

the more you do. You can actually create a new default path for

your brain. This is how it starts.

Joy Assignment:

Today you are looking for the good in people. In friends,

family, coworkers, neighbors, strangers, clerks, any people you

come in contact with, read about, think about, or see on television.

No assumptions. No judging. Look for the good. Look for

good people and look for the good in people who normally drive

you nuts. Find one good quality about everyone you come in

contact with today.

In your journal, jot down:

People are good.

List the good qualities you experienced today.


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Day Four

If you look for the bad in people expecting to find it,

you surely will.

Abraham Lincoln

Yes, that is the same quote from yesterday. Abe is not done

with us yet.

Today this quote is pointed at you. Maybe its easy for you

to see the good in others. If not, you will get to the point where it

will come easier. But what do you expect to find in you?

When you look at yourself, or think about yourself, do you

look for the bad? When you look in the mirror, what do you see?

What kind of things do you say to yourself?

Joy Assignment:

Look for the good in YOU expecting to find it. You surely

will.

Todays assignment may be the most important one, ever.

Start recognizing the good in you.

Each day, every day, from here forward, write in your

journal three things you like about you. It can be physical traits,

your skills, aspects of your personality, how you handled a

situation. Anything and everything.

Start honoring you. Start realizing you deserve love. That

love must first come from you. Every day, three things you like about you. Go!


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Day Five

There are people who put their dreams in a little boxand say, 'Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams.'Then they put the box away and bring it out once in a whileto look in it, and yep, they're still there. These are great

dreams, but they never even get out of the box.

Erma Bombeck

What dreams are you keeping hidden away? Do you say

you have dreams, but never take them out of the box?

Going after our dreams can be scary. We dont want to fail

so we dont even try.

But then we never realize them.

Open up the box and let your dreams out. Take one step

toward your dream, and you will be amazed at what happens.

Joy Assignment:

What is one dream you are willing to take out of the box

right now? Write it down in your journal.

What is one tiny step you can do toward realizing that

dream? Do you need to reach out to someone? Do you need to take

a class? Do you need to take a chance on yourself and risk feeling

foolish? No one ever died from looking foolish.

Write down the dream and write down the next step you

need to take. Act on it. Baby step or big leap, both are good. You

really can live your dreams. It starts now.


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Day Six

"I read and walked for miles at night along the beach,writing bad blank verse and searching endlessly for someonewonderful who would step out of the darkness and changemy life. It never crossed my mind that that person could beme."

Anna Quindlen

Its normal to think that someone out there is going to make

it all better. We have been taught to look outside ourselves for the

answers.

All we need is within us.

You are the hero of your own life. You are the one, you

have the answers. Believe it.

Joy Assignment:

Sit quietly. Breathe.

Thats it.

Simply sit quietly and breathe. Close your eyes. Imagine

you are walking at night along the beach. Miles of endless

beautiful beach. The temperature of the air is perfect. The sand

feels wonderful. The sky is gorgeous. Walk and feel what you feel.

Calm? Excitement?

Spend at least ten minutes, more if you choose. Just sitting,

just breathing, just strolling. Take this walk within you. Write

down what you discover.


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Day Seven

Catch Up Day!

Weeks go by pretty fast. Congratulate yourself for doing

your daily assignments. If you have missed any, use today to play

catch up.

Today you do a recap. Review everything you have written

so far in your journal. Smile as you read.

Write some more I AM WISE statements.

Write some treasures from the week.

Write some of the good you saw in people around you this

week.

Continue to write three things you like about yourself every

day. Every day.Write out your dream again. Write what you did to take one

step toward it. What is the next small step you can do? Write that

down. Make an appointment with yourself to do it.

Celebrate your journey!


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A Princess Dress Story

I never thought Id be a statistic. In my 40s, divorced, after

twenty years of marriage.

I also never thought I would be living a life that truly is joy

beyond my dreams.

I often tell my audiences how dang glad I am that I lived this

long to know that kind of love is possible. Believe in the

possibilities!

My love affair started with a dress, one that I call my Princess

Dress.

Whether you like the word princess or not, we can agree that

somewhere deep inside of us, we all want to be recognized, to be

treated well, and to live the life we have dreamed of.

Thats my definition of princess.

Sometimes we dont know exactly what our dream is until we

take a step toward it. And always it requires listening to your heart.

Several years ago when running errands, I found myself drawn

to the rack of pretty dresses. My life at that time consisted of

working from home behind my computer wearing jeans and a t-shirt, shuttling my kids around, and vacuuming dog hair. I had no

need for a dress, especially a fancy party dress.

Yet I couldnt resist the pull.

One called to me, a gauzy faded pink tea length with a bit of

fairy iridescence. I held it up to me and hung it back on the rack. I

grabbed it again, did the look in the mirror and put it back. One


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more time it jumped into my hand, and one more time, I hung it

back up.

It called to me stronger. I took it to the fitting room and tried it

on. As I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I felt like a princess.

It was simple, yet pretty and sweetly feminine. It gave the illusion

that I actually had boobs. I loved it.

I sighed and hung the dress back on the rack. My then-husband

and I never went anywhere where I could wear it. He preferred

dressing in camo to go duck hunting instead of getting dressed up

to go out.

I left the store empty-handed.

The call returned. Before I hit the parking lot, I circled back,

grabbed the dress, and bought it.

My Inner Voice told me plainly, clearly, succinctly, BUY THEDRESS.

It made no sense to me, but I listened. I acted. I bought the

dress.

The pretty pink dress hung in the back of my closet. For a very

long time. Once in a while, I would notice it and say, yep, thats a

pretty dress. At least I bought it on sale. It looks good hanging onthat hanger.

My Inner Voice continued to talk to me, about things much

more important than a dress. I listened sometimes and I ignored

sometimes. Isnt that what we do?

Especially when it comes to the big scary stuff.


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I need not go into the details here, but my Inner Voice led me to

end my 20-year marriage. That took a lot more courage than

buying a dress.

Fast forward a bit and I was in my beautiful little condo,

surrounded with books and music, and no more constant drone of

ESPN. Some nights I cried myself to sleep on the couch,

wondering what the future held, yet I knew within me that I had

done the right thing.

That Princess Dress came with me, and now hung in a different

closet, still never worn.

I started to live the life I had imagined, doing what I loved and

really trusting my Inner Voice. Writing, speaking, teaching,

coaching, and connecting with others, helping them discover their

Inner Voice. I was indeed creating my new reality. I was steppinginto my power because I was pursuing my joy. I was feeling strong

and in a good place with myself. I studied science of happiness and

spiritual leaders. My inner work was now reflecting in my outer

life. I taught workshops on joy and writing, and was invited to

speak all over.

I had dreamed of lavish parties in gorgeous places full ofwonderful people, so I decided to create that for myself too.

I rented a mansion and hosted my first Joy Luncheon. It was a

new endeavor. I was nervous. And I trusted. My trust was

rewarded. I sold out. 50 seats.

I welcomed my guests into the glorious Victorian mansion all

decked out for the holidays. And I was all decked out in my

Princess Dress.


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I finally had a reason to wear it!

Sometimes we can wait for an opportunity or we can create it; I

shared the story of the dress with my guests that day. Big or small,

dreams come true. Listen to that Inner Voice and act on it.

That event was quite a triumph for me, on many levels,

personally and professionally.

That dress became a symbol to me.

The story continues.

That day at the mansion, I met my Prince Charming.

The joy luncheon was primarily a ladies event, so the lone

single guy in the crowd was pretty obvious. I had Facebook chatted

with this fella briefly, but I was not looking to date anyone just yet,

especially online. I knew that I would meet somebody someday in

the normal course of my life and it wasnt going to be onmatch.com!

It wasnt. It was Facebook.

Neither of us was in the dating game. We were FB friends

because we went to the same high school and had mutual friends.

We hadnt known each other back then. With a class of 600, you

simply dont know everyone.My posts, and his, were about joy, positivity and live your

dreams. He was a good writer, poetic and articulate. That was the

extent of our interaction. Until he bought a ticket to the joy

luncheon.

As hostess of the affair, I only had a few minutes to chat with

each guest. When I mingled with my future prince, he revealed he


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was leaving that afternoon to go to some other state to run the next

day in a 100-mile thing in the woods.

I had no idea people ever ran more than a marathon. This guy

intrigued me. The writer in me wanted the story (and yeah, he was

cute) so we set a lunch date.

The next week we met for lunch and talked for four hours. The

connection was immediate, deep, and real. As we parted, I wanted

to hug him tight and never let go. It was too soon to start dating,

but I liked him. There was something about him that drew me in.

We agreed to be friends as we both we were newly single and

didnt need to jump into anything. A little over sixteenth months

later, we were married.

I manifested that man.

When we met, I was living from my true core, honoringmyself, being me, following my heart. He was on his own path of

the same. When we live from joy and from our inner guidance, the

good stuff happens.

The wedding was magical. We walked through the woods to

the clearing and said our vows at the center of the labyrinth. All the

fairy tale pieces fell into place.The Princess Dress, that had waited patiently in my closet for

that first joy party at the mansion, the fateful day I met my

sweetheart, now had a perfect second occasion to be worn again.

Most brides have to search to find the perfect dress. Mine found

me and had been waiting for me all along.


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Day Eight

You think your pain and your heartbreak are

unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read.It was books that taught me that the things that tormentedme most were the very things that connected me with all thepeople who were alive, or who had ever been alive.

James Baldwin

What book or books have helped you on your lifesjourney?

We all long for connection and our stories connect us. You

are not alone. Your pain will not last forever. Joy is waiting.

Joy Assignment:

Write a thank you note (in your journal) to an author who

has helped you along the way. In what ways did the book help

you? Do you need to apply the lessons again?

If you desire, you can also write a thank you to send to the

author.


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Day Nine

To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long

romance.Oscar Wilde

You are seeing how lovable you really are! Keep up the

daily posts of what you like about you. If thats the only exercise

you do from this book, let it be that!

Joy Assignment:

Write a thank you note (in your journal) to YOU for

something you have done to honor yourself, something you have

done to help yourself along the way.

Write as if you were writing to a beloved friend. Smile asyou write. To love oneself truly is the beginning of a life-long love

affair and it begins with gratitude. Express your appreciation to

yourself. Maybe you write to your young girl self; maybe you

write to your future self. Write a thank you note oozing with love

and gratitude.


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Day Ten

One of the best guides to how to be self-loving is to

give ourselves the love we are often dreaming about receivingfrom others. There was a time when I felt lousy about myover-forty body, saw myself as too fat, too this, or too that.Yet I fantasized about finding a lover who would give me thegift of being loved as I am. It is silly, isnt it, that I woulddream of someone else offering to me the acceptance and

affirmation I was withholding from myself. This was amoment when the maxim You can never love anybody if youare unable to love yourself made clear sense. And I add, Donot expect to receive the love from someone else you do notgive yourself.

bell hooks

We all desire someone to love us. We all desire to be loved

just as we are. Yet we withhold such love from ourselves. That

does seem a little silly doesnt it?!

That love starts here, with you, now!

Joy Assignment:

Write a LOVE LETTER to you (in your journal). Anything

goes. You can start with the physical traits if you want, but go

deeper.

To get you started:

When I look in your eyes, I see someone who .....

After you have written a draft in your journal, get out a

piece of paper. Write a love letter to yourself. Date it. Sign it. Put itin an envelope, stamp it and send it to yourself.


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Day Eleven

Most of the shadows of this life are caused bystanding in one's own sunshine. Ralph Waldo Emerson

You have probably heard it said a million times - we simply

need to get out of our own way. The biggest obstacle between you

and your joy is you.

The journey is one of self-love. When you live from a place

of loving you, your journey becomes all about joy.

You are already on your way. The simple, consistent

practices you are doing here in these pages will make the

difference.

First, you begin to appreciate. You appreciate all thetreasures around you and all the good in people. You appreciate all

the treasures and good in you.

Appreciation is the number one happiness booster and

appreciation paves the way to allowing more good to come to you.

Joy Assignment:

Write this affirmation 108 times:

I am my own sunshine.

Draw a picture of the sun if you want.


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Day Twelve

It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves. Edmund Hillary

Always, we are the students of ourselves and the masters of

ourselves. You are spending a lifetime getting to know yourself

better.

You have already climbed many mountains in your life. Itstime you gave yourself a little recognition.

Joy Assignment:

Write down all the times you have done something brave or

faced a mountain or had any kind of accomplishment. Anything

and everything.

You learned how to ride a bike! You got divorced. You won

that spelling bee in 4th grade! You faced breast cancer. You spoke

up to your bossy sibling! You held your moms hand as she passed

over.

Big and small. Think of all the mountains you have already

climbed. Write them down and let yourself acknowledge that you

were scared and you did it anyway.


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Day Thirteen

Hooponopono:

Im sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you I love you.

Hooponopono is an ancient Hawaiian practice of

reconciliation and forgiveness. You recite the mantra, aloud or

silently, and can direct your thoughts toward someone else or

yourself.

For our purposes here, you will say it for you and your

relationship with yourself.

Regular use of this healing process on yourself will allow

greater self love and the ability to tap in and trust your inner

wisdom.

Joy Assignment:

Write the Hooponopono phrases in your journal.

Every morning, take a few minutes and say these four

sentences to yourself at least ten times. Sit with hands on your

heart while you say the four phrases to yourself. You can also look

at yourself in the mirror as you say them. Do this every morning.


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Day Fourteen

Catch Up Day!

Another week! This is the day to review and absorb. Catch

up on any missed days.

Reflect back on this week. Note the times you were wise.

Recall how good it felt to find treasure. Feel that feeling now.

Have you been writing three self-love items every day?

Write out your dream again. Dont let it get dusty and dont

let it go back into the box.

What have you done toward that dream? Did you make a

call? Did you do some research? Maybe, for example, your dream

is a different home. Did you contact a realtor or banker to see what

is in your price range? Did you not buy expensive coffee this weekand saved that money for your new place?

Do something. Small steps lead to big ones. Write down

what you will do this week.

Let thank you notes and love letters become a way of life.

Your journal is one big thank you note and love letter. Start to send

notes of appreciations to others, and to yourself.Every time you notice the sun, smile and say to yourself: I

am my own sunshine.

Do the Hooponopono every day. Recite with hands on

heart.

Flip back through the previous pages of this book. Take

some time to read your journal. Thank yourself for proceeding on

your journey of joy.


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All Life is an Experiment

My older son, home on spring break, asked if I remember

anything at all about college. I remember like it was yesterday, yet

it also seems a million years ago.

His comments were about how freshman act like freshman

and its obvious to spot a freshman.

As an older wiser upperclassman, he wants to offer advice

and an occasional thump upside the head.

There is quite a transformation that occurs from freshman

to junior year. When you first arrive at college, you are learning the

lay of the land and how to handle freedom along with

responsibility. Its all new, exciting, sometimes a little scary.

As a junior, you are starting to think about internships,senior year and real life jobs. That can be a little scary too.

I remember it all, the feelings, the experiences, the broad

strokes and the little details. Eating pizza eight days a week.

Learning how to get along with roommates and learning how to

stand firm. Buying beer without being carded. (Long ago and far

away.) I remember puking in the bushes outside the dorm.I remember the stress and the late nights of studying. I

remember the fun and the late nights of partying.

Yes, dear son, I still remember my college days. I loved

college. I loved books, writing, and learning about things I never

knew existed. I still do.


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College is a safety net. Young people learn to fly without

their parents, yet still not completely responsible for their own

livelihood. Its a wonderful opportunity for personal growth.

What I have discovered is that the learning curve never

ends. Whether you went to college or not, you transitioned into

adulthood one way or another. We think once we become grown

up that the growing stops.

Nope.

I have grown in the last decade as much as I did from birth

to twenty-one. (And Im not just talking about my waistline.)

My horizons continue to expand. My dreams of travel that

started back in college when I had posters of England, Ireland, and

Italy on my walls have all come true. I keep dreaming new dreams.

And keep being amazed at how much my world opens and howmuch I still have to learn.

Its exciting and quite frankly, sometimes a little scary. For

the most part, its a high (a natural high, thank you very much.)

They say college is about experimenting and that may be

true. Emerson said all of life is an experiment. I adhere to that. The

full quote is: Do not be too timid and squeamish about youractions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make

the better. What if they are a little coarse and you may get your

coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the

dirt once or twice? Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a

tumble.

We adults are often too timid or squeamish to take a tumble

and get our coat soiled. Getting older means getting wiser and that


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means seeing life as an ongoing experiment. You do something and

measure the results. Adjust and try again. There is no right or

wrong, only what is right for you.

Revisit your dreams. When is the last time you learned a

new trick? How do you feel about life as an experiment? Are you

willing to go back into the lab?


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Day Fifteen

Our fears are a treasure house of self-knowledge if weexplore them.

Marilyn French

Everyone has fears. Its part of being human. Dont be

ashamed of them and dont let them rule you. Bring them to the

light of day and begin to explore them.

Be really honest with yourself. What are you most afraid

of? You might be afraid of spiders, you might be afraid to go into

the dark basement. You might be afraid of many things.

Our deepest human fear is not (according to studies) death

or public speaking. Its not the dentist or taxes. Its the fear of

humilation. We dont want to look foolish in the eyes of others.

We fear that more than death!

Do you agree?

Ponder on what you fear most. Why do you think that is?

If the core really is we fear what others think of us, we need

to build that self-love muscle.

Joy Assignment:

Ask yourself what your biggest fear is. Write down

everything that comes up. Seeing our fears in black and white is a

good way to begin to dissipate some old fears and a way to start to

look at fears with a different perspective. Consider the possibilitythat you can let go of your old fears.


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Day Sixteen

The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure youseek.

Joseph Campbell

Different quotes speak to me at different times, and some

strike me every time I read them. This is one of them.

Every time I have been afraid to take a chance, and did it

anyway, I have received the greatest reward and the greatest

growth.

Joy Assignment:

How can your fear hold the treasure?

Maybe you fear divorce. Keep going on the discovery

process and keep asking yourself questions. You may fear divorce

because you fear you will end up alone forever. Why are you

scared about ending up alone? Get down to the base fear.

Flip that fear into a dream. If you fear being alone, the

dream becomes I will spend my life with someone who loves

me. Now you can take one action toward that dream. Learn to

love yourself. Then you will find the right mate. Keep taking steps

toward self-love, no matter what your fear is.


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Day Seventeen

Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less,

breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more; andall good things are yours. Swedish Proverb

Spending a little time bringing fears to light reduces their

power over you. If you ignore them, they wont go away. Explore

them and gain the self-knowledge. Let them evaporate. As you have contemplated your fears these past days, have

you realized some fears do not serve you anymore and you can let

them go?

Maybe you have feared going back to school at your age, or

going to the doctor, or ending a relationship.

Tapping into your heart, you now see that it is the right

thing do (you are wise, trust your inner wisdom). It is time to

release that fear.

Joy Assignment:

Write down that fear on a separate piece of paper. Find a

large pot or use a fire pit.

Thank the fear for serving you, for trying to keep you safe.

Let it go with no judgement. Give it a kiss goodbye. Light the

paper on fire and put it in the pot or fire pit.

Take a deep breath and exhale as you watch it go up in

smoke. Smile and wave adios to it.


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Day Eighteen

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Were spending time on fears, and being brave, because

most people think fears are the boss; many women stay stuck in

their fears. When you can step back and observe your fear, you are

able to move through it.

The only thing that truly works is to take action.

If you are afraid to sing karoake, the only way to get over

the fear is to get up and do it.

Do the objective analysis of your fear. If you fear speaking

up to your boss, do you fear losing your job? If that happened, then

what? Do you fear never ever again finding work? Would that

really be the case? Think it all the way through. What is the real

fear?

Some fears we can release (smoke em!) and some we step

into.

Joy Assignment:

What fear (False Evidence Appearing Real) is nagging at

you? Do the thing that you fear. Tell your mother-in-law you are

not going there for the holidays. Speak up and tell your boss that

you are not going to work on Sunday. Take the stage at the karoake

bar and belt out Beyonce. Write out your feelings, before and after.Congratulate yourself!


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Day Nineteen

I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of thenight.

Galileo

Self-knowledge is a wonderful thing. Exploration is too. It

comes down to a choice. We live from fear or we live from love.

You make your decisions from one camp or the other. Even if we

feel afraid, we can do it scared when we know deep down that its

the right thing to do.

John Lennon said: There are two basic motivating forces:

fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When

we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion,

excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves

first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love

ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our

potential to create.

Your job is to love yourself first. When you do that, good

comes; to you and all those around you.

Joy Assignment:

Write this mantra 108 times:

I love myself.

You can draw little hearts too if you like.


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Day Twenty

Your Life is a Sacred Journey and it is about change,growth, discovery, movement, transformation, continuouslyexpanding your vision of what is possible, stretching yoursoul, learning to see clearly and deeply, listening to yourintuition, taking courageous risks, embracing challenges atevery step of the way You are on the path exactly where you are meant to be

right now, and from here, you can only go forwards, shapingyour life story into a magnificent tale of triumph, of healing,of courage, beauty, wisdom, power, dignity, & love. Carolyn Adams

You are continuously expanding your vision of what is

possible. The more you embrace your journey, the more you step

into appreciation for yourself and all that is around you, the more

you allow.

Do you allow yourself to feel good? Do you allow yourself

to believe that life can always feel good? No matter what

challenges come, you have at the core of you a place of wisdom

and guidance and love. You can face the challenges and make your

decisions from that place. When you do, life is easier. Life is more

fun.

Joy Assignment:

In your journal, write the above quote in first person.

My life is a sacred journey and it is about change, growth,

discovery..... I am on the path exactly where I am meant to be....


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Day Twenty-One

Catch Up Day!

You know the drill. Go back and read any missed days.

Take it all in.

This week focused on looking at your fears objectively.

Fear never really goes anyway. It gets less powerful. When it pops

up, we know we can do it scared, whatever that it may be.

We gain confidence in the doing.

Keep doing your Joy Assignments. They are building your

muscle. The more you see that you can trust your inner wisdom,

the more you will act from that place. The more you practice self-

love, the more you learn to trust.

Keep writing three self-love items every day. Keep doingHooponopono every day with hands on heart.

Review your journal. Stay with your Appreciation

practices. This alone will change your life.


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Let go of the good to make room for the great

The pace of life never lets up. And yet, the pace of life is

mine to set. It doesnt always seem that way, but its true.

We always have a choice on how to spend our time. Being

intentional is key. And not always easy.

I have learned over recent years that invites, opportunities,

to-dos, must-dos, and want to dos will just keep coming. There

will never be a day where I wake up and not have anything that I

want or need to do. Its up to me to be the master scheduler.

That means being choosy.

And the first thing to choose is sleep. I used to get by on

not much. Ive discovered that more sleep means a more

productive and happy me. All the studies show that 7 to 8 hours(even 9) for adults is optimal for brain health, body health, and

overall well being.

Your aches and pains (and whatever else ails you) will

mend better with sleep. Your energy level and optimism will thrive

better with sleep. You will ward off Alzheimers (so the studies

say) with sleep. Your emotions stay more even keeled with sleep. I have simply found that I feel better.

More sleep may seem like common sense, but most

American women dont get enough. Most American women

overschedule themselves too.

My calendar and I still are at odds sometimes. The real

kicker has been deciding what I want to do with my time that feeds


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me, and not just pleases everyone else. Take that in. How much do

you do because you feel obligated?

Many of us spend a big chunk of time doing things to

please others. We think its wrong to say no. Wrong. Learning to

say no is one of the best things you can do.

Guarding your time is protecting your precious energy.

Managing your time is really about managing your heart and your

life. What do you want to do? Operative word is you.

I never used to realize I had a choice. The schedule was

packed with activities and obligations, most of which all good

stuff.

One of the greatest revelations in my life has been to learn

to let go of the good to make room for the great.

If I say no to some things, it frees me up to say yes tosomething else that really delights me. We often dont know it at

the time. We are so used to going along, filling our time with

keeping busy. Downtime seems like its bad or wrong. Not at

all.

Open time slots are good for you. Great for you. Honoring

what you truly want to do is the missing ingredient.I also succumb to pressure when a really good

opportunity comes along. I believe that if I dont accept, then I

will not move forward as quickly in my business. What I have

learned is that opportunities just keep coming.

It is wise to be strategic and selective on what best serves

me. I need to check in with my heart, my inner guidance, to see


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what it best use of time, and not automatically say yes to an offer

just because it is good.

You have similar stuff happening in your life. You feel you

cant turn down an invite yet you dont really want to go. Guess

what. There will be more invites. The more you tune into you, the

more you will get the stuff that feels good to you. Let go of the

good to make room for the great. Especially in your calendar.


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Day Twenty-Two

Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves torecognize how good things really are. Marianne Williamson

Appreciation opens up the flow to allow more good stuff in.

Then we have to learn to Allow that life can be grand. Some people

have a hard time allowing for the possibility that things can gotheir way.

The opposite of allow is refuse. It seems crazy that anyone

would refuse joy, but we do.

These daily practices take us from Appreciation to

Allowing.

Allow. Acknowledge. Admit joy into your life.

Joy Assignment:

Write down all the times you have allowed for the

possibility of something good to come your way and it did.

Go back as far you want. When you were young, you

allowed for the possibility that you would get a pony. That might

not have happened but you believed.

You allowed for possibility, in others, in situations, in

yourself.

Write and feel how good it feels to acknowledge that you

trusted good to come and it did.

When and why did you stop believing in lifes and your

own possibilities? Are you ready to start believing again?


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Day Twenty-Three

Are you a princess? I said & she said I'm much morethan a princess, but you don't have a name for it yet here onearth. Brian Andreas

Are you a princess? Are you much more than that? Dont

let our earthly labels define you or confine you. And also do not beafraid to be what you are, no matter what word is used.

My husband is my Prince Charming and I am his Joy Fairy

Princess. We have a castle on a hill painted on our bedroom wall.

We treat each other like the precious royalty we are.

I also know that I am much more than a princess. We dont

have words for all that we are. Thats okay. Just be who you are.

Joy Assignment:

What labels did you use to resist? Do you feel you can now

embrace them? Tomboy? Bossy? The Smart One? Drama

Queen? Princess?

See the beauty in all the labels and release any old

connotations around them. Write in your journal your declaration.

For example, I used to hate being called bossy, but now I see that

I am strong, independent, and smart. I make wonderful decisions

based on what is right for me!


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Day Twenty-Four

A girl should be two things, classy and fabulous. Coco Chanel

When is the last time you felt classy or fabulous?

Lets make it daily.

Classy and fab is an inside job. The more you do these

daily joy assignments, the more you will naturally feel good about

yourself. The more you feel good about yourself, the more you will

make decisions from the place of what is best for you.

The more you honor yourself, the more confident you will

feel. The more confident you feel, the more you will stand in your

own power. That is what Coco meant by classy and fabulous. You dont have to wear pearls, designer clothes, or even

that famous perfume. You can be classy and fabulous in workout

gear. Its all in how you carry yourself and that is dictated by how

you see yourself.

And that is what you have been working on!

Joy Assignment:

Write 108 times:

I am classy and fabulous.

(Feel free to clean out your closet and only keep the items

that make you feel classy and fabulous. A French girl has a smallwardrobe of only the things she loves and that flatter her.)


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Day Twenty-Five

The happiness of your life depends upon the qualityof your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly. Marcus Aurelius

You are the gatekeeper and guard of your thoughts. You get

to decide which to hold on to.

It can be unsettling to discover that we are the ones who

choose what thoughts we pay attention to, yet it is also the most

liberating discovery.

How many times have you caught yourself telling a friend,

I just cant stop thinking about it! Well, yes, you can stop it. If

you want to. Maybe its a first kiss or something sweet someone

did for you. Keep thinking about that all you want! Let the good

thoughts roll!

If a bad event keeps playing over in your mind, you can

stop the movie player and insert a new program. When you find

yourself ruminating on negatives, physically do something to snap

out of it. Go for a walk. Punch your pillow. Stand up and spin

around three times. Wash your hands. Do some kind of movement.

This will help you reset your brain and you can replace with a

positive thought. It takes practice, but you can do it!

Joy Assignment: Notice your thoughts. Guard accordingly.


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Day Twenty-Six

Happiness is the absence of the striving forhappiness.

Chuang-tzu

Quit trying to be happy. Quit trying to be a better person.

Quit trying. As Yoda said, Do or do not. There is no try.

The journey is not about trying; its about letting yourself

be happy. Its allowing in all the good. Its believing you are

worthy.

Write your self-love ditties and say Hooponopono every

day. Treat yourself with love and compassion. When you live from

this place, you no longer try to be happy. You just be happy.

You feel all the emotions. You are not shielded from

sadness. You express your sadness, you process it and it leaves you

quicker than if you squashed it down or denied it.

Joyful people are not giddy all the time. You feel your

feelings. You honor and allow them. You give yourself permission

for it all.

Joy Assignment:

Write an apology to yourself for all the times you have

been hard on you. Forgive yourself for all the time you have tried

too hard, or beat yourself for not being perfect. Remind yourself

what an incredible being you truly are. End with I forgive you. I

love you.


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Day Twenty-Seven

Whenever you do things from your Soul, you feel ariver inside, a joy.

Rumi

Thats the point. To live in that flow, that river, that joy.

Tapping in and listening to the wisdom of your soul allows life to

flow like a river.

The journey to joy is one of self-compassion. The journey

to joy is to live the journey of joy.

Joy Assignment:

Write 108 times:

I am joy.


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Day Twenty-Eight

Catch up day!

Twenty-eight days. A journey of discovery into your

wisdom, treasure, and dreams. You learned to live from gratitude

and love for others, and more importantly, for you.

Addressing fears and allowing for the possibility that life

really can flow! Forgiveness and delight that we are on a sacred

journey! You are on the path exactly where you are meant to be

right now.

This journey is yours to choose. You can choose to make it

difficult or you can understand it is about letting more and more

and more joy in.

Return to Day One and go through this 28-day cycle againand again. You will be training yourself to see the good, to feel the

good, to live the good.

The only Joy Assignment is to keep doing the joy

assignments. Let the journal writing become a habit you enjoy. Let

it take you to other things. When you do things from your soul,

you feel that river inside. Allow yourself to believe that life can be better. Allow

yourself to believe that life can be joy beyond your dreams.

Allow.

Be.

Joy.


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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our

deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is

our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask

ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented,

fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of

God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is

nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people

won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as

children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God

that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give

other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated

from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates

others.Marianne Williamson


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3 Inches of Brave

A small 3-inch by 3-inch square compact mirror resides on

my desk. If I open it, there are of courses two small mirrors, but

thats not my purpose for having this item in my office or in my

world.

The compact is opened slightly, propped up as a display.

The cover design is a charming painting of the Eiffel Tower with

boats on the Seine in the forefront. This little token speaks big

volumes to me.

The year I lived in France, I only made it to Paris three

times. Yet holy cow! Ive been to Paris three times in one year.

(Everything is always a matter of perspective.)

Those twelve months away have become a defining timefor me. The opportunity of that year was truly the beginning of my

writing as a career and launched my speaking career. It was also

the beginning of the end of my marriage.

During that year abroad, I started to come out of hiding. I

hadnt fully realized I was hiding, yet some journal entries gave

clues. I dont let my real self out much is pretty telling. My real self started to surface when I was away from the

routine of normal life here in the states. I had a good life, yet

something in me started to yearn for more. Not more money or

more material items. More to life. I longed for more adventure,

more confidence, more expression. More me.

It was no ones fault but my own that I had buried me. Its a

common tale. Many women lose themselves when it comes time to


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what else I wanted to see. We of course did some requisite

shopping.

At one charming shop, I found these mirror compacts. Each

had different Paris pictures and were the right size and price to

purchase as gifts for many of my female friends back home. I

bought several and added them to my stash of treasures to be gifted

come holiday time.

Well, come holiday time, we were back home in Illinois.

Our assignment in France (due to my husbands job) had been a

one-to-three year gig. We spent exactly one year. That last trip to

Paris with the gals was indeed my last trip to Paris.

When it came time that Christmas to dole out the amazing

trinkets I had bought during my travels (12 countries in 12

months), I kept one of those small Paris compacts for myself. It spoke to me. I assumed at the time it was simply because

I thought it was pretty. Its more than that.

I see that three-inch Tour Eiffel and I feel ten feet tall. I am

reminded that I can do scary things. I can move to France not

knowing anyone, not knowing the language, and have an amazing

year of discovery. I can move back home, get divorced, start abusiness, and find my Prince Charming. And I can drive in Paris.

The little Eiffel Tower is not a memento of a fun time. It is

a talisman that reminds me to keep exploring, keep discovering,

keep seeking. The fact that it houses a mirror is no coincidence. We

are always seeking what is already within us.

Put a little something in your space to remind you that you

are brave, you can try new things, and you can come out of hiding.


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Life is a little scary sometime and yet exhilarating. Explore,

discover, seek. Who knows what you will surprise yourself with.

You might even want to drive in Paris.


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Second Base

I didnt kill it. I didnt wow. I didnt have them basking in

the glow of my awesomesauceness.

I did okay. It was fine. It was good. However, I didnt truly

command the space and do as well as I could have. Why? I was up

in my head. I know better, yet sometimes I still succumb to the

voice in my noggin telling me, Dont blow your shot here!

Not so long ago I had a speaking opportunity where I put so

much pressure on myself to be stellar than I didnt let my true star

shine.

I took the focus off delivering my message and serving the

audience to must impress the host. Theres a part of me that

wants to prove to the big dogs that Ive got the chops, and I wasmore concerned with showing them how great I was than just

relaxing and being great.

Know what I mean?

When we operate from our head, it usually is not our best

performance. And being stuck in an old pattern of trying to prove

myself is a waste of energy.I often tell clients they never have to prove themselves,

they just have to be themselves.

Sometimes the teacher forgets to embody her own message.

I didnt knock it out of the park. I beat myself up for not

hitting a home run, yet I got a solid double.

Home run hitters swing big. They hit. Its exciting. They

get a lot of attention. They also strike out a lot.


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The player who can consistently get on base may not be as

splashy and get the limelight, but they base by base make it

around. They provide great results too.

The homer hitter is wired to play that way. He would not be

honoring himself to bunt when he knows he can slam it. He

doesnt have to prove himself, just be himself. The player who can

consistently get on base and score is just as valuable, if not more.

They too need to honor themselves. We need both. If Im

the gal who can get a solid double every time, there will be times I

will get that home run too. That happens when I am not trying to

impress the scout in the stands.

There have been many times where I did kill it. No big

cheese to impress, so I relax, speak from the core of me and

connect.My peeps want my message and I want to deliver 100%,

not 50/50 because Im listening to the gremlin between the ears

judging myself.

When I release the self-imposed pressure of trying to win

over anybody, things go much better. I cannot make anyone admire

me, even if hit a home run every time. My new mantra is to let goof the word impress, and the pressure, and instead simply focus on

my message and my mission which is to inform and inspire.

If you are speaking, or writing your book, your purpose is

not to impress them, but to impress upon them that you have

something that can make their lives a little better. Get out of your

head and back in to your heart. When you do, that is when you will

score.


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Surprise

My Prince Charming is great at keeping balance in our

lives. He arranges the surprises - hang gliding, zip lining, glass

blowing - that are always fun and usually a new experience for me.

He has whisked me away for an afternoon of power boating across

the lake (renting is so much easier than owning our own) or

arranged an entire trip of delight.

One of my favorite places is London; when we were

courting, instead of taking me across the pond, my sweetheart took

me on a road trip up north over the border to London, Ontario,

Canada. It was glorious, every stop along the way. His surprises,

big and small, never end, so occasionally I attempt to reciprocate.

My hot air balloon surprise for him didnt turn out to be asurprise in the end, but the evening turned out to be spectacular. I

wrote about it here http://kellyepperson.com/good-enough-can-be-

spectacular.

Our recent jaunt to Sedona was an unexpected gift of R&R,

and the Red Rocks did not disappoint. I had never been to Sedona

so the natural beauty (and the weather) were soul satisfying.Seeing my CollegeBoyWonder#1 son, who goes to school at ASU,

was a great treat too.

We hiked and played, and soaked up the beauty (and the

local wine) and simply enjoyed the time away. That would have

been enough for me.

Prince Charming likes to ice the cake. We took a helicopter

ride through the canyons. I had never been in a helicopter so that
http://kellyepperson.com/good-enough-can-be-spectacularhttp://kellyepperson.com/good-enough-can-be-spectacularhttp://kellyepperson.com/good-enough-can-be-spectacularhttp://kellyepperson.com/good-enough-can-be-spectacularhttp://kellyepperson.com/good-enough-can-be-spectacularhttp://kellyepperson.com/good-enough-can-be-spectacular


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was a joy. The vistas were awe inspiring and only able to be

viewed from that vantage point. There are no roads or trails. This

was a witness of heaven.

My grin didnt leave my face the entire time we were up in

the air. (My stomach left me a few times though.) I mouthed the

word wow about a hundred times and my hand was either on my

heart in thanksgiving or on my phone snapping photos.

In a word, glorious.

Later at dinner, I reviewed my pictures. Imagine my

surprise when I saw all my pictures were in black and white.

Something had been inadvertently switched on my phone

and my photos of the red rocks were all various shades of gray.

Some surprises seem a little ironic.

On second review, I realized the photos are still beautiful.The striations and the layers of the canyon walls are more visible

in grayscale. The black and white didnt take away their beauty, it

simply provided another point of view.

Surprise.

Even in initial disappointment, we are given a new way of

looking at things. The dimensions of the enormous rocks andbuttes are just as magnificent, even without seeing color.

And I was reminded that purpose of the trip, and the

helicopter ride, were for me to enjoy the experience. Not to be

caught up in capturing it for posterity (or to post on Facebook).

While we were climbing Bell Rock or clipping around in a

chopper, I was completely in the moment, something I strive more

to do. The black and white photos are a great reminder to just take


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it all in and keep the beauty with me. My minds eye can see all the

colors. Thats all I need.

I have come to love surprises, as they teach me to be open

and trusting. Its what I discover more and more every day, and

what I strive to reveal to my clients. To be open and trusting is a

wonderful way to live and work. Life is full of surprises. The goal

is to enjoy.


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This Matters To Me

When is the last time you felt that or said that? It doesnt

have to be spoken out loud. You simply have to proclaim to

yourself: This matters to me.

We often get in a rut of doing-doing-doing and lose sight of

what matters. Too often we put off our dreams because we get

caught up in all the other stuff of life.

It has become evident to me how many people put their

dreams on the shelf. They proclaim someday and some dont

even do that.

More than anything, beyond nuts and bolts book writing

strategy, I help my clients (and others) to believe again. We talk, I

listen, I ask questions. I let them express freely and confidentially.They start to feel a stirring again within them. They start to believe

in themselves again. They begin to see that having a dream is not

foolish or impossible.

They begin to believe its possible. That is my joy.

Yes, I want to help you with your book. More importantly, I

want to help you with your dream. I have had several people latelymake statements of how much this matters and birthing a book

feeds a deeper purpose within them.

Erma Bombeck once said, There are people who put their

dreams in a little box and say, 'Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've

got dreams.' Then they put the box away and bring it out once in

awhile to look in it, and yep, they're still there. These are great

dreams, but they never even get out of the box. It takes an


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uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold

them up and say, 'How good or how bad am I?' That's where

courage comes in.

I have been told by many clients that it takes guts to put

themselves out there in writing. I get it. Believe me. I still feel it.

Thats why I love to help you take that dream out of the

box and help you see that you do have what it takes. Something

within you knows it, but along the way, confidence has waned or

the pressure to do other things trumps following your own desire.

It is not selfish to pursue your dream. It is the most

compassionate thing you can do. The stronger your candle burns,

the more light you cast on others.

I have pursued various dreams - in love and in life - and I

am constantly thanked by others who have witnessed my path andhave been encouraged.

Take it from someone who has baby stepped and doubted

and been very hard on myself. I was the little girl who broke out in

hives the night before starting first grade because I wondered,

What if I cant learn how to read?!

I became the fastest reader in school and my life is words.How silly our fears can be.

Dont be ashamed of your fears. We all have them. Dont

be ashamed of your dreams. Take yours out of the box and dont

put them back in. You have what it takes. If the desire is in you, the

resources are too. Get the support you need and take one small

step. Say This matters to me. Do it now. You will never regret it.


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But I want to be right!

Oh, me-oh-my, how we crave to be right! I know I do, and I

see it in so many others. The thing is, that need to be right is

stopping us from letting our genius out into the world. Being right

really is NOT what we should be shooting for.

This desire to be right - and to make sure everyone else

knows we are right - does more harm than good. It keeps us from

moving forward. We are stuck back here, repeating to whoever will

listen, with heels digging into the dirt, and the end result is that

here we still sit.

The need to be right is actually the fear of being wrong.

Fear keeps us stuck. We fear being wrong because we fear

looking foolish. That is the number one fear, beating out publicspeaking, going to the dentist, death, and anything else you are

afraid of.

Its crazy when you think about. We fear looking like an

idiot. Somewhere in our youth, we said something or did

something and were ridiculed. That forgotten pain is still lodged

deep in side and now we spend a lot of energy trying to be right.That protective measure is trying to keep you from

feeling that embarrassment. Most of our behaviors are there to

protect us. The thing is, you dont need that kind of protection

anymore. You need the shield to come down and the

encouragement to give it a go anyway, whether you are right or

not.


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Those who advance in life are the ones who have overcome

their fear of not being right. They know they will not always hit the

mark, yet they give it a shot anyway. They know they might mess

up, but they get out there.

This year has started off with me doing plenty that was not

right. And Im still standing. When my husband and I first started

dating, we joked that I was right 98% of the time. When it comes

to song lyrics and television trivia from the 1970s, I am.

I have learned to let go of my need to be right (even in

songs and trivia - that was tough!) and it has helped me keep

moving along. Sometimes it feels like I am off 98% of the time.

Six weeks into this new year and I think I have done just as

much wrong as I have done right, yet I have accomplished more

because I have released my self-imposed shackles of right. I stillhave the fear of doing it wrong, I still hate messing up, I still cringe

at my failed attempts, and yet I am learning more than if I had

played it safe and waited until I got it right,

It seems to me that in growing a business, and in life, there

is plenty of wiggle room for what is right and what is learning

curve. One of my mentors says that 80% of what they do in hercompany doesnt work. It doesnt stop them. They keep doing

stuff. And the 20% that works, is over the moon successful.

I see many people stay stuck in a rut when it comes to a

book. They want to get it right. They dont want to look dumb.

They get tangled up in details of what is the right structure

instead of just trying to write a little something and see where it

takes them. They are so afraid to put themselves out there. When it


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comes to a book, there is no right or wrong. Just express what you

want to convey and the chapters can shape up accordingly.

Relax.

The only way you can do life wrong is by trying to do it all

right. Cut yourself some slack. You are not perfect, yet you are.

Even when you are not right.

So let go of pontificating and start conversing. Ask

questions. Be interested. Learn. Be curious. Be open. No one has to

agree with you. Own what you know without having to prove a

darn thing to anybody else.

Share from your heart what you came here to say. Write a

book, a poem, a song. Express how you choose. Let go of the need

to be right. Let go of the fear on being wrong. There is no final

exam. There is no judgement. The only judgement is that we puton ourselves and its time to lighten up.

Ask yourself: If I mess up today, what is the worst that can

happen? What will happen if I am not right?

You might just find yourself enjoying more, connecting

more, discovering more. Let me know how it goes!


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Thoughts From Above the Clouds

I look out my window from the plane and see the clouds

below. I take it for granted that I am in a flying tube up in the sky

typing on my laptop. I recall the first time I saw a phone in the

back of the seat (or the individual movie monitors) and was in awe.

Now I think its incredible that internet service is available inflight.

It wont be long before I take that granted too.

Its human nature, I suppose. We quickly get used to things.

This morning, I look at the way the sun is beaming on the edge of

the white puffs of cottony foam and I am taking in the beauty. Its a

vista deserving of a moment of appreciation.

My older son is an aeronautical engineering student and I

have deeper appreciation for all things flight these days. I willnever comprehend, but I send my silent thanks to all the engineers

who have made my trip possible today.

Yes, I love the pilot for driving this flying machine and the

flight attendants for giving me cookies (yay! some airlines still

give cookies!) and my deep appreciation goes to all the folks who

have had a hand in creating the adventure of safe air travel, all thenameless folks who have spent their lives as a propulsion specialist

or some other aspect that we dont even think about.

Thank you.

Because of my sons passion, I watched a recent space walk

with awe and delight. The crew in Houston talking to the

astronauts at the space station as they were out in space touched

me. The methodical detailed instructions, the encouragement, the


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enormity of the task. Taking tools in space was something I had

never thought about and now I watched in fascination and

appreciation. The fact that we at home can watch it all is mind

boggling to me.

My emotions welled as I thought that each person there had

a specific focus and they all trained for years to be a part of this

greater cause, something they believe in strongly. Those who travel

to the space station, and those in Houston, are equally heroes to

me.

So much we dont ever think about, so much we take for

granted. A moment of pause on the plane admiring the view before

this busy trip begins makes me feel centered and grounded. Funny,

since I am high above the ground.

It makes me realize that every day, in every way, a momentof pause, a moment to take in the beauty, a moment of appreciation

will keep me grounded. No matter what they day holds, a flight or

working at home in my slippers, giving a bit of thanks for all that

paved my way is a great way to start the day.

So much we take for granted. So much to be appreciated.

Thank you.


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Not Ready is Just Fine

We tend to want to wait until we are ready to do

something. To do anything.

We spend a lot of time getting ready. Truth is, we rarely

allow ourselves to be deemed ready and we stay stuck in a holding

pattern.

My advice, based on my own experience, is to do things

anyway. Not ready? Thats okay. Give it a go. Youll find out that

you do okay and you learn a ton too. You create more opportunities

by doing stuff before you feel ready.

Was I ready to host an event in NYC? Gulp. Ill just wait

a year. Or two. Yet here I am with one under my belt.

Was I ready to submit a proposal to powerhousesSuzanne Evans and Larry Winget? Gulp again and I was hired to

be their Book Coach for their Hell Yeah Star program.

Ready is not just for professional endeavors. I didnt think I

was ready to fall in love again and had a timetable for myself after

my divorce. I had a lot of baggage around being ready.

If I would have waited until I was ready for love, I wouldhave missed out on the most amazing experience of my life. I was

joyously remarried before my self-imposed ready scale said it

was time. I cant imagine my life if I would have blown this,

waiting to be ready to date again.

We hold ourselves back trying to protect ourselves. From

hurt, embarrassment or any number of fears. When we can take a


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deep breath and plunge in anyway, we see that our worries were

blown out of proportion.

I meet people all the time who are doing that dance with

themselves. Im here to tell you, no one has ever died from looking

like a fool. Now I think I am fool not to jump in, whether I feel

ready or not.

This is not reckless abandon. You know what I mean.

Oh, I am not ready to talk to anyone yet about what I do;

gotta get a website/biz cards/gumption.

When Im ready to write my book, I know you are the one

I want to work with. I just gotta get ready.

Fill in the blank here.....Im getting ready to x, y, z.

If you wait until you are ready, you may stay right where

you are, wondering and wishing and wringing your hands. Yes, there is strategy and timing to be considered in

business. For some, it may not be the right time to do certain

things. For many, it is. They just wont pull the trigger and allow

themselves to do something a bit out of the comfort zone. Even

writing a book is something people give the excuse of gotta get

ready.This isnt like operating on someones brain before you

have finished med school. In that case, you may not be ready. I

also know from watching Greys Anatomy that you just might be

ready despite certification.

So if you are stopping yourself because you say you are not

ready, I say poppycock. Let go of that excuse and get down to what

is really holding you back. Theres a fear in there, big or small.


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Step into that. That is where the growth is. That is where

the love grows.

Take a few good really deep breaths. Plant a smile on your

face. Say it with me: Ready or not, here I come!


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A New Hello

I recently wrote about my Paris mirror and its reminder that

I am indeed brave. Quite often when in the throes of being brave,

we dont feel brave at all. We are shaking in our boots.

Sometimes you come out on the other side and do the

celebratory fist pump in the air and feel the brave. Yes! You high

five yourself and feel like strutting. You did it, whatever it was,

and wowza, hallelujah, here you are. I am woman, hear me roar.

Thats great. And yet sometimes, brave doesnt feel brave

ever. Only in hindsight do we recognize it for what it is.

Before, during, and after my divorce, I didnt feel brave. I

felt sad, afraid of the unknown, tired. I felt many things. I felt my

guts were shredded and upside down and inside out and on display.Despite the pain, I always knew it was the right decision, no matter

how hard it was, but through it all I never felt brave.

And that was one word I heard over and over. People

continually told me how brave I was. Men and women. Some

happily married, some not. All admired my courage and how

brave I was. If I would have collected a dollar from every personwho told me that, I would be writing you from Paris right now.

The point is that doing the right thing -- even when its

hard, even when conventional wisdom tells you that youre crazy,

and it might be easier in some ways to just keep going along --

listening to your gut-your heart-your inner divine wisdom and

acting on it is always the best course.


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In a nutshell, I define brave as being true to you. That

shouldnt require bravery, but in our mixed up world, it does.

Brave comes in all shapes and forms, so recognize the

brave in you. Getting divorced can be a show of bravery. Staying

married can too. Leaving a job. Moving. Going to back to school.

Starting a new career. Making a new friend. Talking to a stranger.

Taking line dance lessons. Learning to play the piano. Coloring

your hair. Not coloring your hair. Writing your book. Falling in

love again.

Saying yes to yourself is brave.

Saying no is also incredibly brave. Say no to others

expectations. Say no to judgement. Say no to comparison. Say no

to conventional wisdom. Listen to your inner wisdom. Say no to

what does not feed your soul. Learning to trust you is the best way to be brave.

When I help clients write their books, sometimes they tell

me, It takes guts for me to do this. They are opening themselves

up in a new way, and that is indeed brave. Sometimes they want to

shrink back and part of my job is to guide them when they are not

feeling the brave. Remember when were in it, we often do not feelbrave.

You are the most brave when you just keep following your

course of action.

Brave may be in the eye of the beholder (3 minutes of

stand-up comedy! Now for that I give myself a big badge of brave

credit!). You dont have to define it or analyze it. Just follow your

path.


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One definition of brave is courageous endurance. Maybe all

of life is about being brave. Every day making a vow to be true to

you. Thats just as courageous as climbing a mountain or running a

marathon.

Listen to the call of the wild that beats within your chest.

And if that call is telling you to stay home tonight and curl up with

a book, listen and act. That is being brave.

Paulo Coehlo said: If youre brave enough to say goodbye,

life will reward you with a new hello.

Say goodbye to what no longer serves you. Let life reward

you with a new hello. The best is yet to come.


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Parting is such sweet sorrow

Thats a wrap.

Do the simple daily exercises. They can lead to profound

shifts.

Sign up for the weekly joy letter to receive inspiration in

your inbox every Friday. Send your email to

[email protected].

Stay in touch! Let us know what discoveries you make.

Blessings all over you!
mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]


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