What goes up the chimney down, but not down the chimney up?

An umbrellaAn umbrella

Dad, “You usually talk a lot on the phone. Why did you only talk half an hour?”

Daughter, “It was a Daughter, “It was a wrong number!”wrong number!”

On which side of an On which side of an ostrich are the feathers?ostrich are the feathers?

The outside!

After a careful After a careful examination the doctor examination the doctor said, “ I’m sorry to tell said, “ I’m sorry to tell you that you’ve only got you that you’ve only got four hours to live.four hours to live.

Is there anyone you want Is there anyone you want to see before you go?”to see before you go?”

“Yes,” answered the patient. “ Another doctor.”

““Joey,Joey, can you come out can you come out and play?”and play?”“No. I have to help my dad do my homework.”

Why did the clown take Why did the clown take off his shoes?off his shoes?

His feet felt funny.His feet felt funny.

What did the elevator say What did the elevator say to the doctor?to the doctor?““I’m coming down with I’m coming down with something.”something.”

Where do spices go when Where do spices go when they are sick?they are sick?

To see Dr. Pepper.To see Dr. Pepper.

What did the gum say to What did the gum say to the shoe?the shoe?

““I’m stuck on you.”I’m stuck on you.”

What is the longest word What is the longest word in English?in English? SmilesSmiles

There’s a There’s a milemile between between each “each “ss”.”.