ivorce guide d - maggio law firmbesides seeking an agreement, you should hire a divorce lawyer...

2 Divorce Guide www.maggiolawfirm.com

Filing for divorce is a traumatic experience.

It is a difficult decision that out you through

a lot of physiological and mental stress. The

legal process only adds to the distress. Lack

of knowledge regarding the divorce laws of

your state can complicate the matters even

further and may impact the feasibility of the

critical decisions that are essentially an

important part of the process.

At The Maggio Law Firm, we offer a helping

hand to all the people going through this

devastating phase of their life. We provide

support not just through our services, but

also through knowledge and awareness that

can help you understand the legal liabilities

and limitations, and prepare yourself for

the procedure.

This divorce guide is meant to offer basic

information and guidance about the general

divorce process. We sincerely hope that

our efforts will help you get through one of

the toughest phase of your life and expedite

your process of financial and emotional

recovery.

For more information about the divorce

process and assistance with your divorce

matter, please contact our firm at (949)

553-0304 and visit our website for further

informative articles and resources at

www.maggiolawfirm.com.

http://www.maggiolawfirm.com/


Just like no two couples are alike, every divorce

has its own characteristics. This includes

particular legal, parenting, financial and child

care issues that have their own ramifications,

legal solutions and strategies that can be used

to deal with them. However, what is standard is

that each divorce or separation undergoes the

same journey from start to finish and the final

destination does not change.

In California, the legal process of divorce starts

with a consultation with a divorce and family

law attorney and obtaining information about

issues and your legal rights.

How to File Divorce Papers As part of the divorce process, the first thing

you need to do when you have decided to leave

your spouse is to get an agreement or

understanding with your spouse on the most

important issues that need some temporary

understanding on. This is crucial since it will set

the course for the final settlement and ensure

quick decisions regarding custody of your

children, property disputes, bank accounts and

other necessary issues that can crop up

between the divorce and the final result. For

example, if you have decided to keep the kids

and have no income, how will their needs be

taken care of?

Besides seeking an agreement, you should hire

a divorce lawyer and/or divorce mediator.

Since you may need to attend a court hearing

for any temporary orders, prepare a detailed list

of the things you wish to seek such as:

Temporary custody orders

Visitation rights and parenting schedule

A restraining order to keep your spouse

from contacting you, if appropriate

Spousal support

Child support

Temporary property orders (ex. use of

the house, etc.)

The next thing you need to do is create and file

a Petition (application) for divorce in the family

court in the county you live in. Your spouse will

be served with the Summons and Petition filed

by you which will outline what you are

requesting in the divorce. Your spouse (the

“Respondent”) then needs to respond to the

Summons and Petition and verify any claims

they wish to make as well.

If you live in the State of California, you do not

need to cite any fault for the reason for the

divorce, as California is a no-fault divorce state.

Other states require proof of adultery or other

misconduct in order to file for divorce, while

California does not.


Collecting Important Data and

Discovery Once you hire a good divorce lawyer,

you need to collect all of the

information you need for smooth

proceedings in the courtroom. This

includes: The date you got married,

country of residence, the wife’s maiden

name and any other pertinent

information.

Copies of any premarital agreement

and any other contract along with

information on any past legal

proceedings that may have taken place

such as lawsuits and bankruptcies.

Accurate financial data that is necessary

for the case such as tax returns, current

pay receipts, assets and liabilities

belonging to your spouse and you,

estate plans, bank statements, credit

and mortgage statemments, etc.

All of the abovementioned information is

important for the divorce proceedings since it

will give your lawyer a solid platform to

commence the discovery process.

The more specific the information, the easier it

will be for him or her to figure out the financial

issues and custody issues. As is apparent, most

of the data will focus on financial aspects of the

marriage and this will include any stocks,

pensions and you and your spouse’s yearly

income. The information has to be accurate to

eliminate unnecessary problems so it will also

need to include the value of any major assets

that was acquired during the marriage.

What is the Difference between a

Contested & Uncontested Divorce? If you opt for a divorce from your partner, you

will have 2 choices in the type you can avail. If

you and your spouse are facing difficulty coming

to terms regarding the divorce agreement, or

either one of you do not want to get a divorce,

then the result will be decided by the judge in a

contested divorce. On the other hand, if you

and your partner decide how you wish to divide

your assets as well as any financial obligations

such as debts, what the amount of child support

will be, etc., you can go for a simpler and faster

uncontested divorce instead.

However, if you live in California, one of the first

things you need to do is ask your lawyer if you

and your partner qualify for a “Summary

Dissolution.” This is a quicker, joint process that

requires very limited paperwork, no court

appearance, and less hassle. However, you can

only qualify for this if:

Your marriage was less than 5 years

You have no children from the marriage

You do not own any real estate

Your marital debts are less than $6,000

The community assets are less than

$41,000 in value

Neither party will ever get spousal

support

You have an agreement that divides

your property

Filling a Motion with the Court If you and your spouse need to resolve issues

like custody, visitation, etc., you will need to

either come to an agreement with your spouse

or otherwise file a “Request for Order” to seek

temporary orders on those issues. If it is the

latter, this will be followed by a court hearing

which will allow you to present your individual

arguments to the court. It is often better to let

your lawyers do the talking but if testimony is

necessary, you can do so. The judge will be the

one to decide the outcome.


Negotiation vs. Litigation

As mentioned before, if you have to go through

a contested divorce, then you and your

husband/wife need to decide what issues you

can agree on and those you cannot. You can

also opt for less aggressive tactics such as ADR

(Alternative Dispute Resolution) methods such

as Divorce Mediation or Collaborative Divorce.

These have become quite popular when it

comes to settling divorces in a cooperative and

comfortable environment and naturally is also

less stressful and less expensive.

Before opting for anything, talk to your lawyer

or your spouse regarding all of the different

options you have at your disposal and then go

from there.

The Trial If you and your spouse cannot agree on

everything or anything regarding the divorce

issues, then your case will likely go to trial.

What Happens in a Trial?

If your case goes to trial, you and your spouse

will have to tell your sides of the story that was

your marriage to the court. The way it works is

simple. You will be asked to take the stand and

your lawyer will be the first one to ask you

questions so that you can explain your side.

Then, your spouse’s lawyer will challenge your

perspective by cross-examining you via

contradictory and conflicting testimonies.

Basically, this will be his or her way to

undermine your testimony and to make their

client’s stories more believable than yours.

After both parties have made their case and

called other relevant witnesses to testify, the

judge will make a decision based on the

evidence and arguments presented.

The Legal Issues

These include:

Which assets belong to you?

Who can keep the home?

Who will be responsible for the family

business (if any)?

Who keeps the pets?

And other property issues that need to

be addressed and resolved during the

divorce proceedings.

Most states in the United States term the

property owned by a married couple as

“community property” and everything else as

“separate property.” However, the latter means

that the property in question belonged to one

of you before you got married or was a gift or

inheritance.


The main aim of dividing property is to ensure

that the assets as well as the debts are divided

fairly and equally between spouses. So, if asset

division is an issue, then you need to highlight

which items should be given more priority along

with the ones that you are willing to surrender.

Please keep in mind that the course your

divorce proceedings will take will vary

depending how financially complicated it is. If it

is, then you will probably need to hire at least

one of these experts depending on the issues at

hand:

A forensic accountant

A business consultant

A certified divorce financial planner

A vocational evaluator

If you don’t have a background in finance, these

people will help you untangle your financial

assets and aid you in making sense of them for

the proceedings.

Spousal Support

Also known as alimony, this refers to a monthly

amount that you can seek from your spouse or

expect to pay your spouse. As the term implies,

it is meant to provide support commensurate to

reasonable needs and the marital standard of

living. You will need to be eligible for it to

qualify, which your lawyer can tell you. If you

are, then the best course of action will be to

seek it ASAP, not as a way to get back at your

ex-partner, but to support yourself financially.

Child Custody, Visitation Rights &

Child Support

The most important issue for you and your

spouse will be regarding the custodial rights

concerning the children. This can go either

which way: you can decide to make them live

with you for a time and then your spouse for

the same duration or decide which one of you

will become a parent full-time with visitation

rights for the second parent.

Divorce is hardest on the children. If you or your

spouse is not abusive, then the best course of

action would be to work together and agree to

take care of the kids on a mutual basis. This will

mitigate the emotional trauma they will

undergo in court when the finger-pointing and

accusations start.


Child Support is the support that one parent

might have to pay the other depending on the

custodial schedule and the parties’ incomes.

Child support in California is determined based

on a formula that is used in several computer

programs used in the state, such as “Disso

Master” and “XSpouse.”

The Waiting Game & the Judgment

In California, there is a 6 month “cooling-off”

period from the date that the Respondent is

served with the divorce paperwork before

marital status can be terminated. However,

that does not mean that the divorce cannot be

settled before the 6 months is up or that the

final settlement/Judgment cannot be submitted

to the court for filing.

Once all of the motions and issues are decided,

the court clerk takes a look at the final

Judgment presented for a review and then

forwards them to the judge for his or her

signature. This act will officially end the

marriage and make you legally free to re-marry

if you so choose (assuming you have passed the

6 month cooling-off period by then).

This was just the bare bones of the entire

divorce proceedings; the actual process is more

complicated as well as emotionally and

financially draining. If you have been with your

spouse for a long time, it can turn your life

upside down and your children will likely be

affected. The latter effects can last for a long

time if you and your spouse do not give the kids

the attention they need to get their own lives

back on track despite the split.

In order to make your divorce as quick and

painless as possible, the ideal thing to do is to

hire a divorce mediator and also a therapist.

You may not be in the emotional state of mind

to help your children, but they are trained to

aid you in this regard.


The word ‘Divorce’ evokes an image of an

overly complex process that takes over your

lifestyle, turns it upside down, takes you on an

emotional and financial roller coaster ride, and

legal hurdles that you may not have any idea

how to overcome. If this is not your first rodeo,

then the process may be easier to go through,

but if it’s the opposite, then you need a legal

team by your side to help you.

If you are not estranged from your spouse, the

best course of action to prevent a

communication barrier is to hire a divorce

mediator. These professionals are trained to act

as liaisons between divorcing couples and can

ensure a settlement out of court if you wish.

Such collaborative processes are quite common

now and most lawyers prefer to work toward a

common settlement goal. However, before

going for this, ask your lawyer which goal would

be mutually beneficial for both parties and your

particular case depending on the circumstances

of your case.

A divorce is not an easy thing to go through, but

allowing the financial and emotional strain to

get to you will only complicate matters further.

As far as the emotional turmoil is concerned,

hiring a therapist will only help you and your

children move on with your lives during and

after the divorce. Additionally, if you don’t

have a head for finances, then a trained and

professional forensic accountant can untangle

the financial aspects easily enough.

Each of the abovementioned professionals can

help you and your partner go through the

divorce process without undue stress. However,

do your homework before hiring a lawyer,

forensic accountant, etc.

Choosing a Lawyer No two lawyers are alike and there are some

out there who might not be all they claim to be.

This is THE most important decision you will

have to make before the divorce proceedings

and if you find a reliable one, he/she will be

able to advise you in almost all aspects for best

results. Your job is to ask the right questions to

ascertain which one will best fit your needs.

Checklist

The lawyer you choose should have the

following characteristics:

Familiar with Family Law – Hiring a

lawyer who handles real estate will not

help you much. A legal professional

who knows the ins and outs of family

law will work for your family’s best

interests.

Extensive Experience – A lawyer fresh

out of law school will not have the

experience to handle a complex case

such as a divorce. If you cannot afford

an experienced one, then make sure


that this one has an experienced

mentor advising him.

Good Negotiation Skills – Only a lawyer

who can explain your case in court and

will work in your favor will be able to

ensure you get through divorce

proceedings without undue stress.

Is Not In It For The ‘Win’ – If you are

not on good terms with your spouse at

all, then you might think that you

should try and beat them in court.

While this may alleviate some of that

stress by giving you a goal to work

towards, a reasonable lawyer will tell

you that a settlement should be made if

appropriate. A lawyer who is in it only

to win may not be the best legal

representative.

Compatible With You – You don’t have

to become best friends with the lawyer

you hire, but getting intimidated or

aloof will not help you either. You will

have to tell him or her some of your

secrets that might hold up in court or

you will put your case in jeopardy. Even

though your lawyer cannot be your

therapist, he or she does need to be

aware of all of the pertinent facts to

advise you and negotiate your case in

court.

Candid – A lawyer who takes too long

to come to the point, talks too much

about his or experiences or refuses to

give clear answers to your queries is not

someone who should represent you in

court. Hiring one just because he

belongs to or knows your family can

backfire. Besides the conflict of

interest, you can end up creating

adversaries at a time you need as much

support as possible.

What to Ask a Prospective Lawyer

The results of the divorce proceedings will have

an indelible impact on the rest of your life. Do

yourself and your family a favor and hire a

lawyer who can answer the following questions

without hesitating:

Is Family Law your specialty?

(If the answer is no, then ask how many divorce

proceedings he has managed successfully and

what percentage of his practice falls under

family law).

How long have you been practicing

family law?

(The number of years and cases he or she has

worked on).

How much will you charge?

(This is the initial fee you will need to pay the

lawyer. Ask their hourly rates for their firm).

What billing technique do you use?

(This includes what you will be billed for and

when you will be asked to pay).

How much will the divorce cost?

(Do not expect an exact figure. Your lawyer will

probably provide an approximate sum based on

estimates and on the information he or she

receives from you. Your relationship with your

spouse will also be taken into account to

determine the estimate. Even if your case is a

simple one, but your spouse’s attorney buries

yours in mountains of paperwork, then expect

the costs to increase).

What do you think the results will be?


(Yes, hearing that it will all work out and you

will come out smelling like roses might be music

for your ears, but you want a lawyer who will be

honest with you).

Do you know my ex-husband/wife’s

lawyer?

(If your lawyer answers yes, then ask which

cases they worked together, what kind of

relationship they have with each other, what he

thinks of his adversary and finally if there is

anything that could prevent you from working

with your spouse’s lawyer).

How high are the chances of this

turning into a court battle?

(Again, ask for an honest answer).

How long will the process take?

(No lawyer should state a date or set a time

limit for a divorce case).

Who will be handling my case? (in case

you go to a legal firm)

(This can be anyone from a veteran lawyer to

paralegals. If your case is a complex one, then

you need to be knowledgeable about who in

the firm will be working on your case).

What can I expect from the

proceedings?

(Last, but not least, ask what you are expected

to do and provide to ensure your lawyer has

everything he or she needs to represent you in

court successfully).

The abovementioned questions will help you

get a clear picture of the expected proceedings,

but don’t stop there. No answer will be

considered stupid at this point so ask ANYTHING

you think is relevant for the process. This

includes anything such as terms that you did

not understand, etc. Remember, the answers

and how your legal team acts them out will

have an impact on the rest of your life. Being as

thorough as possible in the initial stages will go

a long way to ensure a happier ending.

Choosing a Mediator There is a reason why mediation has become

the preferred way to settle divorce proceedings.

With help from a third party divorce mediator,

you and your spouse can work out how you can

live separately successfully. Besides saving a lot

of time and money, it will also shield you from

the emotional stress and prevent a long, drawn

out court battle that might not even be

necessary.

Of course, this course of action is only suitable

for couples who are willing to work together to

come to mutual agreements. If you and your

spouse are willing to look at the bare facts

rather than the emotional side of the divorce,

then divorce mediation might be a good idea.

In fact, according to statistics, cases that are

sorted out with the help of a mediator have


drastically lower chances of ending up in court

in the future as well. Another benefit of getting

a mediator is that you and your ex-spouse will

learn extremely powerful communication skills

that will come in handy with the kids later or

while taking care of business interests.

Even if you find an excellent mediator, that

does not mean you won’t need an equally good

lawyer backing you. The latter’s approval for

any decisions you and your spouse make can be

important to the divorce proceedings.

Mediation can accelerate the divorce process

without compromising its integrity.

As a matter of fact, some practicing family

lawyers are also trained mediators so you may

not have to look far for one. Whoever you

choose, you need to determine his or her

qualifications.

What to Ask a Mediator

Since the mediator needs to work to ensure

both parties benefit mutually, hire one who is

sympathetic. Whatever you do, don’t pick

someone right off the bat, without investigating

their qualifications or go for the cheapest one

you can find.

In order to find the best one for you, ask the

following questions:

What is your experience and training

as a mediator?

(Ask about cases that the mediator handled

that are similar to yours and especially aspects

that are different this time around for him. Also

ask about any special skills the mediator may

have that can aid your case. If you and your

spouse speak Spanish primarily, then a

mediator who can communicate in the

language will ensure nothing gets lost in

translation).

How does the process work?

Ask what the first steps of the mediation

process is, what is expected of the parties to be

provided, etc.

Some other questions you can ask are:

How should we get the kids involved if

there is a need to?

Should we introduce a new partner in

the proceedings?

How much will I be expected to pay?

How much time will the process take?

What role will my lawyer play?

Choosing a Forensic Accountant When you are getting a divorce, some financial

matters such as asset division will crop up. If

you are not a certified accountant yourself, you

will need to hire a CPA or a Certified Public

Accountant to help you out. A professional and

experienced one will be able to calculate your

spouse’s and your net worth and present

figures that will be acceptable for the court and

will be in your best interest.

Accountants have several accreditations and

you should find those designations in front of

their names. Here are some common ones and

their meaning:

CFE – Certified Fraud Examiner

ASA – American Society of Appraisers

BCFE – Board Certified Forensic

Examiner

NACVA – National Association of

Certified Valuation Accreditation


The best way to find an accountant that has

these accreditations is to ask your lawyer for

recommendations. Since these two have to

work together during the divorce proceedings,

it will be a good idea to pick one who they are

familiar with. Of course, that does not mean

you should overlook experience during the

selection process.

The important thing is how comfortable you are

with your legal team and the same is the case

when you are looking for an accountant. Picking

one who has good communication skills, is

honest and upfront with you and your lawyer

and who can offer reasonable rates would be a

good idea.

Choosing a Divorce Financial

Analyst (CDFA) During the divorce process, choosing to hire a

divorce financial analyst will clear up a lot of

things. These financial experts are trained to

create solid strategies that can ensure financial

stability post-divorce and thus can prove a

valuable member of your team. A Divorce

Financial Analyst will take your long term

financial health into account and will be upfront

with you on what can and cannot work.

A reliable CDFA will also clear up a lot of things

for you along with any uncertainties you might

have about your future financial situation. This

will include the consequences of retaining or

letting go of an asset.

What to Ask a Finance Professional

There are several questions you should get an

answer to when you go in to interview a

prospective finance specialist.

How many times have you testified in

in court?

(You will need someone who has had some

experience in the courtroom).

Have you worked with any lawyers?

(Ask for some examples of the family law

attorneys that they have worked with).

How much will I have to pay for your

services?

(Ask about how the services will be billed and

how you need to pay them. Keep in mind that

whatever you and your financial analyst decide

should be in writing in a signed contract. Any

details that crop up after the agreement can be

included in a separate contract).

Working with a Financial Analyst One of the first things you should do before

handing in any paperwork is to build a good

rapport with the accountant or financial expert

you hire. Remember, you are looking for

someone who is easy to talk to, is respectable

and professional at the same time.

Once you get that out of the way, it will be time

to get to business. Hand in the following

documents to the one you select:

Tax returns pertaining to you and your

spouse spanning the last 3-5 years

Stocks, mutual funds, bonds, equities


Financial statements

Books, records and tax returns for any

business you and your spouse were

involved in.

Retirement plans

Insurance policies

Recent pay stubs

This also includes additional paperwork such as

details on property you and your spouse share

or own separately, contents in a safety deposit

box as well as cars you may own. Include minor

items as well such as brokerage statements and

minute books. All of these documents will help

the accountant see whether you or your spouse

made some major transactions and their

nature.

The Therapist Unless you free yourself emotionally from the

divorce proceedings, you will not be happy

post- divorce either. A certified therapist can

help you get over those emotional hurdles that

are keeping you in the past and holding you

back from making informed decisions.

Choosing a Therapist

You need to do your research and pick one who

has the proper qualification. For instance, a

therapist who has a M.D. in front of his name is

actually a psychiatrist and one who has a Ph.D.

is basically a psychologist. A therapist with a

M.S.W. in front of his name specializes in social

work while one who has L.C.S.W. is a Licensed

Clinical Social Worker.

An understandable place to start your search

for a reliable therapist is your family doctor or

any member from a divorce support group that

you are part of. Also keep in mind that a good

therapist will not always agree with you; his job

is to help you make sense of the emotional

turmoil you are going through and ensure it

does not cloud your judgment. Your divorce

lawyer can also provide you with some

referrals.

What to Ask a Prospective Therapist

The following are some important questions

you should ask the therapist during the

interview:


What are your qualifications and

credentials?

How long have you been a practicing

therapist?

What experience have you had helping

divorced couples?

How do you implement therapy?

How much do you charge? (ask if they

charge per hour, etc.)

Does insurance cover the sessions I

have with you?

What are your work hours?

Can I be sure that my sessions will

remain confidential?

Will you be able to mend the problems

between my spouse and me?


Once you hire a lawyer, you should know that

both of you will have to work as partners,

working on solving problems together. This

relationship has to go on for as long as your

divorce process goes on. Having the right

partnership can greatly facilitate and resolve

the divorce process and it also determines how

much you will have to pay in the end. This is

why it is best that you only hire a lawyer who

you feel is worth your time and money.

Visit the lawyer, and after the first time meeting

him or her, you should be able to decide on

whether he or she is a good listener and if the

person is genuinely interested in solving your

problems.

What Should Your Lawyer Know

For The Divorce Case? After hiring a good lawyer, you will have to

provide all the necessary information about the

relationship between you and your spouse.

Whenever the lawyer asks for any details, it is

best that you respond as soon as you can and

don’t give him or her long stories. Always stick

to the point and give short, precise answers to

avoid giving rise to ambiguity. Here are some of

the things you will have to disclose.

What’s the reason of you seeking a

divorce from your spouse?

What’s the reason of the breakup? (if

you want to reconcile with your spouse,

you and your lawyer will have to work

together and come up with better

solutions)

Give personal details about yourself,

your children (if you have any), and

your spouse. (This means you will have

to give complete details, like their

names, ages, and dates of birth,

insurance numbers, work addresses,

health details and other relevant

information).

Complete details about your marriage.

(You will have to tell the lawyer exactly

when you got married, and where did

the marriage take place. Will you have

custody issues with your children?)

Are you stable financially? (Your lawyer

will probe deeper in to details like what

debts and assets you have? How much

do you earn? Where was your previous

job? What’s the name of your

employer? Do you own properties? Do

you have any mortgages currently?


Before you visit the lawyer, it is

advisable that you create a checklist

and a budget of all your expenses. It

should have details about what you

spend on, including the expenses of

your children.)

What is your goal with this divorce?

(You will have to specify what you want

in future in terms of the assets, custody,

support, visitation, and whether you

want to reconcile or not with your

spouse).

Bring in your financial documents

What Should Your Lawyer Expect In

Return From You? Just as the lawyer respects your boundaries and

decisions, he or she needs to be able to expect

the same from you. You have to remain

professional and calm at all times. Have a grip

on your emotions and listen to all the advice

you get from your lawyer. You need to pay

your legal fees when due.

However, if you have some financial crises, you

can make an agreement with the lawyer, and if

it’s ok with him or her, you can make a payment

plan. In case your ex has taken all your money

from your bank accounts, the lawyer can help

you by asking the court to grant you with

temporary funds for support. If at any point

throughout the course of the case proceedings,

you feel that things may get worse, it is best

that you ask the lawyer to seek orders that will

help to keep you protected both physically and

financially. If you want the lawyer to cooperate

with you, it is necessary that you also

cooperate. Here are some of the ways you can

earn the respect of your lawyer.

Avoid calling him or her unnecessarily.

Call her or him within their working

hours and only call at odd times if it’s

truly an emergency situation.

Never lie to your lawyer; come out

clean with all of your history and the

facts.

If you are having emotional crisis, meet

a therapist.

If you are unhappy with the system,

don’t blame the lawyer.

Don’t expect your lawyer to be

unrealistic. Respect his or her decisions

and advices.

During the whole case, if you don’t stick to

these points, the lawyer may get irritated by

you and quit working on the case. The lawyer

may also decide to quit if you don’t listen to his

or her advice, or if you don’t pay your bill on

time. However, if you are reasonable and

cooperative, chances are your lawyer will work

hard with you and trust you at all times.

At any point, if you feel that your lawyer is not

doing justice to your case the way they were

initially, losing dedication along the way, it is

possible that you may have burdened him or

her with many issues relating to your spouse.

Don’t hesitate and ask your lawyer why they are

behaving this way, and if there has been any

misunderstanding at any point, it is best that

you clear the air.

What Expectations Can You Have

From the Lawyer? Right from Day One, both you and the lawyer

sign the retainer agreement and then work as a

team, and both of you have to ensure that you

have a mutual understanding of what to expect

from one another.


A good lawyer will always create a good

strategy after knowing about your case. Just

make sure that along the way, this plan changes

and works according to the way you are

realistically hoping. If the lawyer is good, he or

she will always explain everything in complete

detail while advising you on your options. At

any moment, if you aren’t happy with their

strategies, feel free to explain your reasons, and

if the lawyer is an understanding and good one,

he or she will come up with a different

approach more suited to your preferences

rather than making you feel bad about

questioning them. But your preferences must

always be realistic.

Sometimes, even if the lawyer is good, he or

she may have some bad news for you, or things

might take a turn for the worse. In such cases,

it is best that you don’t react and try to

understand where the problem all began from.

You should know that no one is perfect, and

sometimes, the lawyer may not be able to come

up with solutions that are perfect in your eyes.

If your lawyer is a good one, you should expect

them to keep you up-to-date with the case. If

you are planning a trip somewhere, or if the

lawyer has other plans, it is best that you both

discuss such plans with each other before taking

any decisions. Finally, if you want a good lawyer

to work for you, don’t let the cost be the deal

breaker, as long as you can afford it of course. If

the lawyer is going out of the way to ensure all

your work is done properly, you should respect

him or her and pay them.


To resolve a divorce case, you and your spouse

must sit down and create a settlement

agreement which shows who gets what

property, custody, support, etc. Will this

agreement pass swiftly in court? This depends

on many factors. For instance, whether it is

worded properly and whether a financial

disclosure from both of you was done.

Settlement agreements also have a number of

benefits over the ruling of a judge. This means

it can take lesser time to come up with the

resolution. The lawyer will help keep the

emotional and financial costs down, and this

way, both of you will be able to come up with a

fixed agreement. If you can put away all your

emotions and stay focused on what you want,

the chances of you getting a good settlement

are much higher. Just keep in mind that the

courtroom isn’t really a good choice of place to

show all your emotions like anger. So ensure

that you find a counselor or a support group to

help you through the process.

Make sure that your settlement agreement also

covers the custody of your children and other

relevant issues. Always consult your lawyer

before making any final decisions and also make

sure that your family remains protected within

the agreement.

A good settlement agreement must be

comprehensive and covers everything. Just

know that after you sign the agreement, you

can’t undo anything unless both of you come up

with a mutual understanding and unless there is

some kind of legal base like fraud. Regarding

your assets, the lawyer won’t leave anything

out unless you tell him or her to leave some

things out. Just make sure that your agreement

has a list of all your financial assets, and details

about your real estate and retirement assets.

The agreement should have a clear statement

about the division of the assets. Some of the

assets you must include in the settlement

agreement include:


Financial Assets Under this heading in the settlement

agreement, you should list down all your assets

including:

Cash savings accounts

Money market accounts

Checking accounts

Real estate investment trusts (REIT)

Certificates of deposits

Stocks

Mutual funds

Bonds

Savings bonds

These assets are more important for a spouse

who isn’t working or receives a lower income

that won’t be enough for him or her. These

assets will come in handy to them if they want

to cover some of their expenses after the

divorce.

Retirement Assets Retirement assets are known as “before-tax

assets”. Basically, they are those assets (money)

for which you have to pay an income tax in

order to access them if you are less than 59.5

years of age. Sometimes, you will also have to

give a penalty fee on the distribution after the

income tax payment. Here is an example.

Suppose that Jane suggests to Henry that, “you

can have all your retirement assets, which are

valued at $100,000, and later, I get the money-

market account, which has the same worth of

$100,000.” Henry will probably agree because it

seems to him an equal distribution of the

assets. However, within the next few years,

Henry will retire and he would then have to pay

some tax on the distributions. Suppose Henry

pays the tax at 25%; he will end up with just

$75,000 against the $100,000 that Jane would

receive.

Retirement assets are many in the United States

and they include pensions, 401K plans,

Individual Retirement Accounts (IRAs), defined

benefit plans, and defined contribution plans.

Before settling the agreement, it is essential to

determine how such retirement plans will be

divided, which for pensions and 401K plans

usually requires doing a Qualified Domestic

Relations Order (QDRO). A QDRO allows such

plans and pensions to be divided by way of a

rollover IRA to the other spouse that avoids a

tax consequence from the division of the plan

or pension.

Employment Benefits Apart from retirement benefits, employers also

provide other incentives and benefits to their

employees. These include:

Accrued vacation time

Yearend bonuses

Health insurance

Life insurance

Stock options

Restricted stock


Some of these may appear as assets in your list

and others as income, while some may just be

skipped. Determining which benefit should be

treated as an income, marital asset, or neither

can be a difficult decision. This is why different

judges and judiciaries take a close look at the

settlement and review the benefits of each

asset separately.

Your Personal Property In your settlement agreement, make sure that

you list down all your possessions and also

indicate how you want to divide them. These

could include your motor homes, jewelry, cars,

furniture, personal photos and papers, as well

as boats and other personal belongings. Take

the value of these assets into consideration so

that when the divorce happens, you both don’t

have to fight over them.

Real Estate Details This should include all your homes, timeshares,

business property, rental properties, and

vacation homes. All your properties should be

listed down properly and you should state how

you want them to be divided. On the other

hand, if you want to sell the properties, then

here are some issues you need to address:

Until you decide a time to sell the

property who is going to pay the

expenses?

If you or your spouse handle expenses,

would you both be reimbursed from the

profits?

How will you divide the proceeds?

Debts If you take the property, you will be expected to

pay all the debt or mortgage related to the

property.

A time table for your spouse to refinance the

mortgage into their own name after divorce is

something that you should include in the

settlement agreement. However, if the

property cannot be refinanced in that time

period, then it is best that you sell the asset and

settle the debt with the sale proceeds.

If your debt is a joint one, then both you and

your spouse will have to come up with solutions

to repay the debt.

Business If a business created by one or both spouses

during the marriage, it likely has a value that

will need to be determined, as well as who will

continue to be involved in the business versus

being “bought out,” etc. A formal business

valuation by a forensic accountant will likely

need to be done if one of the parties believes

that the business has a value and that party

wants their share in the divorce settlement.


Property Settlement Note (a.k.a. the

“Equalization Payment”) Generally, this note is used to equalize all other

assets. However, it has some noteworthy

drawbacks that you should be aware of:

If you don’t comply with the

agreement, it will become a greater

issue that may lead to further

disagreements.

What will happen if you can’t pay?

If the note is unsecure, then the bank

will probably discharge it in bankruptcy.

Will you have to pay interest on the

note?

What happens if you can’t repay before

the prescribed time?

Sometimes, life insurance policies have some

amount of cash value on them, and it means

that the owners may have to borrow some

money from the insurance policy or make a

trade to pay some money for the current value

of the cash, less any charges or costs. Other

policies like the term insurance have no cash

value on them. The term insurance however,

may still be valuable, particularly if the person is

uninsurable. The settlement agreement has to

state who will own the existing life insurance

policy. It is not really necessary to state the

name of the ex-spouse or child, as the

irrevocable recipient of the group policy is

minimally affected. The designation can be

changed by the employee at any time. If the

spouse (un-insured) is to be the beneficiary, the

best way to protect the interests is by letting

the non-insured spouse to own the policy.

Addressing other Assets Other assets that need to be addressed in the

settlement agreement include:

Frequent Flyer miles

Club memberships

Inheritance

Trusts (one spouse has to be named

the current beneficiary)

Gifts

Just keep in mind that this list of assets is not

exhaustive. This means you and your spouse

may have more assets in addition to these. The

assets can make a huge difference in your after-

divorce life, so make sure that you take your

time and list them all out carefully before you

settle all the issues.


Anger related to divorce is all about

vindictiveness, over powering, extreme rage,

and bitter feelings that the spouses feel within

them.

After all, no one likes a relationship that will

turn sour in the end. However, holding on to

anger only increases the tension between the

spouses, and as the rage continues to take over

the lives, actions, and thoughts of the two

parties, their emotions towards each other

begin to change as well. Over time, couples

tend to weigh every situation differently.

Sometimes, the emotions rise so high that they

end up harming one another physically without

paying attention to what the other will feel. In

such cases, children tend to get emotionally and

psychologically affected.

During the divorce process, some couples are

not able to control their anger. Expressing

anger during the legal process will only make

things worse for you and your ex-spouse. It can

invariably lead to prolonged proceedings,

unnecessary quarrels, and drain you and your

family emotionally.

So during your divorce process, how can you

cope with anger and manage it? The answer lies

in how you try to understand the root of the

problems and find effective ways of expressing

your hurt and pain. Here is some helpful advice

that will allow you and your spouse to cope

with the whole procedure.

What to Do When You Are Angry? Vent it out on Paper

The best way to manage your anger is by

writing your feelings out on paper or a journal.

By following this simple rule, you can easily

release your anger without having to take it out

on your spouse.

Release The Anger By Shouting

Sometimes, you just have to let out the anger,

but not by shouting on others. Roll up all your

windows, whether at home, or in your car, grab

a pillow and scream out all the anger.

A Friend In Need Is A Friend Indeed

When you are angry, it’s best to rely on a

support system. Instead of getting angry at

others or your ex-spouse, talk it out to your

friend, or if necessary, see a therapist who is an

expert in anger management.

Professional Help Is Good

Anger is known for suppressing other emotions,

whether negative or positive. If you talk to a

professional, he or she can help you to feel the

emotions that you are suppressing with anger,


and will advise you on moving ahead. Attending

anger management sessions or support groups

is also helpful. There, you can sit down and

share your entire story and help yourself grow

and move on.

Take Responsibility

We rarely find a situation where both partners

are ready to take the responsibility for the

divorce. It is even rarer to see just one person

take all the blame. In such cases, it is best that

you take responsibility for any harm your

actions may have done to the relationship.

Try to Grow

Focus on the future and on goals, not the past.

Only view the past as a way to learn from

mistakes. It will help you to propel further and

change your situation. Let yourself flow with

the change and continue to grow with your

experiences, rather than focusing on the

negatives.

Try To Understand What Triggers Your

Anger

Try to figure out what exactly triggers your

anger before you decide to express it. Before

reacting, do not hesitate to say that you need

time to think about the situation.

Keep Your Children Out Of The Mess

Never drag your children in to the mess by

withholding them from meeting your ex-

spouse. For the sake of your children, it is best

that you look for other means of expressing

your anger. Also, do not yell at them when

frustrated.

Keep Conflicts At A Sensible Level

Just know that your ex can always match your

level of anger, so be careful about the ways you

choose to fight your battles. Expressing every

bit of disagreement, and irritation will only

provoke more resentment between you and

your spouse. Think about the bigger issues, and

ignore the smaller ones.

Use The Word “I” When Expressing Your

Anger

If you end up in a fight with your spouse, say

words like “I feel disappointed when you don’t

come home on time,” instead of using a harsh

tone and saying things like “You always come

home late.” This only worsens the situation and

leads to an even intense fight.

Learn To Recover From The Divorce

It will take you at least two years to get over the

whole idea of your marriage breaking apart;

sometimes it can take even longer. You will be

sad during this time, but it’s all up to you. Learn

to handle yourself and take control of your

emotions.

Move On And Learn To Forgive

If you do not learn to control your anger, it will

eventually become a constant in your life, but if

you continue to try and nurse the anger you

have for your ex, soon enough you will become

happier and be able to lead a better life after

the divorce. Control your emotions, and

understand that things happen for a reason.

Learn to forgive people for their mistakes.

What Happens If Your Ex Is The

Angry, Bitter One?


• Do Not Take the

Comments of Your Spouse

Personally

Anger is a preview of the inner

feelings of people. Learn to

accept that your ex is also going

through a tough time and it’s

their way of getting over it. At

such times, let them pour their

hearts out and do not take their

thoughts or actions too

personally.

• Stay Calm

Staying calm helps a lot and it

diffuses your anger at its peak. You can take a

deep breath, or listen to some music that will

calm your nerves down.

Carefully Listen To What Your Ex-Spouse

Says

By listening to the comments of your spouse,

you may be able to understand exactly where

the anger originated from. You will be able to

find the root of the anger and think of ways you

can resolve the problem.

Take a Break

If you can’t handle your anger, do not hesitate

to take a time-out. You can politely tell your

spouse that you won’t talk to him or her until

you calm yourself down. Set limits to your anger

and you will be able to treat them properly.

Recognize Your Anger Zone

If someone triggers your fury, it is your

responsibility to find a way of controlling your

anger and not becoming more offensive.

Try To Be Compassionate, Even Though It

Seems Impossible At That Time

While the divorce process is ongoing, your

spouse might be threatened or be fearful, so try

and understand their underlying feelings, which

mostly are pain, shame, or fear. If you show

compassion to your spouse at that time, your

spouse will be able to control their anger.

Do Not Lie To Yourself

If someone is angry with you, there must be a

reason behind it. You may be the one at fault

but you do not realize it. If your spouse is yelling

at you, try to understand why, and if you were

at fault, do not lie to yourself by saying he or

she is wrong and accept your mistakes.

Safety Comes First

If you know your spouse is short- tempered,

and can harm you physically, then it’s best that

you use a third party to communicate with him

or her. If you feel threatened, take it seriously

and refuse to meet in person without a

mediator.


Every divorce negotiation has two elements,

this means you have to consider:

What is acceptable, and,

What is affordable

First, you will have to work in partnership with

your lawyer. Both of you will have to go through

all the settlement papers, the separation

agreement, and you will have to understand

what your spouse is expecting from the divorce.

Once you have discussed everything with your

spouse and lawyer, how will you approach the

negotiation process?

Think Over the Divorce Logically Over time, a few stereotypes have become

associated with the divorce process. Women

can be perceived as more emotional, whereas

men can be perceived to be more direct,

practical and logical in the dealings. Regardless

of all these stereotypes, the truth is that

rational thinking and an organized mindset are

key factors for both men and women.

The main point here is that you should remain

firm with your ideas, and also open your mind

when it comes to reasoning. Until you are

satisfied by the reasoning of your spouse, do

not hesitate to ask any questions. Answer every

question that questions your integrity and clear

your position. During the entire process, remain

tough, but soften up when people involved

want to share their views.

Things to Consider Before the

Negotiations Divorce is not a walk in the park, you have to

negotiate properly and make the right decisions

for your future and your family too. Here are

some things that you should consider before

entering the negotiation process.

Handle the negotiation in a room or an

environment that is professional and

quiet.

Make sure you are punctual.


Your attire should be one that keeps

you comfortable at all times in the

meeting, and it should be formal and

causal.

Get a written agenda from your

attorney.

Keep a notebook with you so that you

can write down all the things you want

to discuss.

Keep copies of all relevant documents.

Your body language matters a lot so sit

upright and remain focused.

Keep your voice normal and low, this

means you shouldn’t talk loud, or cross

the limits and have an irritable or

argumentative tone.

Stay patient and listen silently to what

is being said.

If at any point, you aren’t agreeing on a

point, make sure that you also share a

piece of your mind. It’s best to clear

everything at hand and share your

opinions and come to an agreement.

Make sure you talk in the “first person”

manner, and not talk in third person.

Do not be too defensive; keep room for

advices and criticism.

Do not discuss personal matters, or

business-related problems.

If you are being pushed to a pressure

point for an immediate answer or

response, take a time out to think over

the situation.

Never make a forced decision, even if

your lawyer or family forces you.

Always make decisions that you feel are

right.

At any point during the negotiation

process, if you feel irritable, frustrated,

or tensed, take some deep breaths and

release the tension slowly.

Bargain Calmly Just know that negotiating over issues is

possible only if you have a calm mindset. When

sitting for a negotiation, be prepared to

exchange all ideas and promises that are

related to your case. Go to the bargaining table

with an open mind and be ready to face any

questions and prepare your answers

beforehand. The bargaining process is all about

considering these three points:

The most you are willing to give up or

give.

The least you are willing to giving up or

give.

What you will be willing to agree on.

It is commonly seen among divorcing couples

that they tend to fight over the things they

want, which are usually assets, and they forget

to even discuss the things they do not want, like

the liabilities. Keep in mind that things such as a

deteriorating property, lawyer’s payment, and

debts must all be negotiated during the divorce

procedure.

If at a point both of you aren’t able to arrive at a

conclusion, ask the lawyer to provide you with

some information about a similar situation they

may have handled before. Know that the table

only serves as a place for discussing issues that

weren’t handled before. Once you arrive at a

conclusion on that particular topic, it is best

that you close that chapter.

How Can You Avoid Heated

Negotiation Sessions? When sitting through divorce negotiations, the

entire process can take a toll on you

emotionally. It can become very frustrating

especially when your spouse starts to act in


ways that you can predict easily. In such cases,

either you or your spouse can become hostile

or very defensive. What will you do if you are

being threatened, or if the argument is heating

up?

The first thing you need to do is take a “time

out,” and try to cool down before returning to

the argument. After that allow your lawyers to

take their time and analyze the situation. Then

only will you be able to get information that can

make the argument more negotiable.

When Is It The Right Time To Be

Reasonable? During the divorce, it is not necessary that all

arguments have to end up in bitter results. Just

because you are opting for divorce does not

mean you both cannot work together again.

Keep your mind open and brainstorm any

issues. However, if your partner is refusing to

negotiate, do not push him or her, or attack

their decision. Just ignore them and try to settle

what you can, and let the attorneys go to court

on what you cannot.

Six Obstacles That Hinder

Negotiation Anger only wastes your energy and

takes up more time.

Greed makes any financial negotiations

appear impossible.

Pride works like a barricade.

Jealousy leads you nowhere. Come to

know that your old relationship is over.

Fear only slows down the negotiation

process.

Fear perhaps is the worst feeling that can take

over the negotiation process. It could also bring

in the fear of loss, rejection, or loneliness. This

only makes you think about the life ahead of

divorce and worry about financial problems and

make you believe that you won’t be able to

handle the entire divorce process. The more

you depend on your spouse emotionally,

financially, and personally, the deeper your

roots of fear will grow.

To counteract such feelings, it is best that you

consult with your family, friends, and if possible

read through books that will take your mind

away from fears. Whatever obstacles come

your way, it is best that you try to understand

the options available for you both. Focus on the

situation and problems and do not think about

what others might say.

Coercive Tactics and How You

Can Recognize Them Before you head in to a negotiation, it is

advisable that you try and predict how the

session will go, and also try to get an idea of the

tactics that are being used. If your divorce is not

going smooth, then you are likely to face such

tactics as:

Facts presented in misleading ways

Deliberate deceptions

Stress

Personal threats

Deliberate delays in court

Unreasonable demands

Rude body language

Withholding children or money

Pressure

Unnecessary demands

Silent treatment

Deliberate refusal for negotiation


The entire process of divorce and separation

can affect parents a lot and also create difficult

situations for them. At that point, they have to

put a tight lid on their emotions and the stress

that inevitably comes along with the whole

process. During the whole process, children

need the most attention and assurances of your

love.

However, parents end up getting so lost in their

stress and worries that they become less

affectionate towards their children, or

sometimes even forget to discipline them. The

best way parents can handle such situations is

by:

Taking control over their emotions and

life

Maintain a nurturing environment for

their children

Learn to keep their children under

control by dealing with them

authoritatively, and

Be aware of some of the common

mistakes that most parents encounter

when they are involved in divorce.

Common Mistakes Spouses experience a rush of emotions like

guilt, sadness, shock, anxiety, and shame when

they decide to file for divorce. All these

emotions can remain at a high level until their

problems are solved. If the spouse didn’t want

the divorce, he or she may feel rejected and

worthless. There is no solution to this case.

It is highly essential that parents find ways of

overcoming these emotions, for the sake of

their children’s health and mental well-being.

Couples should be able to handle their stress

and overcome the pressure of divorce. You

should know that whatever you as a parent

adjust to, your children will also eventually

make peace with. Here are some of the

common mistakes that parents make during the

divorce process, and when children suffer the

consequences.

Turning to Children for Emotional

Support

In the majority of cases, children tend to

behave in ways that are most typical especially


in the early stages of their parents’ divorce.

They see their parents breaking apart and tend

to depend more on them for love and

emotional support. Likewise, when couples are

going through a brutal divorce, they are likely to

go back in that same pitfall as their children and

their behavior changes, which is quite unusual

for adults. Sometimes the adult going through

the divorce becomes so helpless, and he or she

starts depending on their children for emotional

support. This isn’t right at all, and soon it will

affect the children mentally.

Hoping for a Role Reversal

After the divorce is over, some parents

emotionally break down to an extent that they

become overly dependent on their children.

Soon, a role reversal takes place; this means

that children become the counselors,

confidantes, and caretakers of their parent.

Such parents are often depressed, troubled,

and lonely, and subsequently, they give up their

willpower to take control and responsibility for

themselves. In most cases, parents tend to also

depend on drugs and alcohol to control their

emotions. It is always recommended that

divorced parents rely on their friends, or family

members for advice or counseling.

Sitting Idle and Overburdening their

Children

For most divorced parents, becoming idle is

another thing they do wrong. They build up a

routine that only lets them dwell in their

misfortune, which only overburdens the

children.

For instance, it isn’t considered a bad thing for

parents to assign some duties on their children

after the divorce, but make sure that the weight

of responsibility is assigned within some limits.

This simply means:

You should assign chores that are

appropriate for their age.

Never leave your child unsupervised,

especially if they are under the age of

ten.

Never burden your older children to

completely take care of their younger

sisters and brothers. Children can never

take the place of parents.

The chores you assign to them should

never interfere with their sleep, school,

or their play time with other children.

Do Not Isolate Yourself as a Parent

After the divorce, some parents feel better by

building a wall around them while others

increase their social engagement. This

eventually proves to be a bad idea because your

children will lack the parental attention they

crave.

It is obvious that children suffer the

consequences and end up missing out on the

parental attention they want, especially during

the initial days of the divorce. They miss their

dad or mother, and it depends on you as the

parent to act as both the mother and father and

give them the right amount of attention they

want.


Sometimes, if the parent chooses the “social

road,” they end up staying away from their

children, and after coming home; they still

ignore them and go back to their isolation. In

such cases, the parent uses a babysitter or asks

a relative to attend to the child. However,

parents fail to see that no matter who you

assign to take care of the children, in the end

they will still need you as the parent.

In many cases, when parents isolate their

children, it is seen that the children become

distressful and go out of control. They have

frequent mood swings and act badly.

Not Learning to Move On

We all understand that the first few months

after the divorce will be difficult, and it will

leave you in a state of turmoil. When the

situation finally starts to settle down, it is best

that you move on and start building a new life.

The first thing you will have to do if you want to

move on is to forget about the past and deal

with any other bad feelings that you have for

your ex-spouse. Although your marriage ended,

you have to know that the duty of a parent

never ends.

Being able to attain inner peace will only be

possible if you and your ex-spouse learn to build

a co-parent relationship and take care of your

children.


Unlike other proceedings, divorce mediation is a

different approach that individuals take.

What is Divorce Mediation? Couples who are willing to come up with

reasonable solutions in their divorce related to

their property, finances, and children can make

use of the mediation process. The resulting

agreement is one that both you and your ex can

live with, and it is simply one that helps to keep

you both on the right track. You can make sure

that all your negotiations are reasonable and

you can also make suggestions of any roadblock

that occurs.

The main benefit of divorce mediation is that

the parties are the ones to decide their own

divorce, rather than having a judge all the issues

of the divorce. Unlike standard divorce litigation

which involves the lawyers speaking on behalf

of the parties in question, mediators simply act

as advisors, and the spouses give input based

on all of their priorities and needs.

Mediation Stages The initial stage that mediators take is to

arrange a meeting with you and your spouse to

assess the case. During this meeting, you get

the chance to explain your expectations from

the divorce.

Once the meeting is over, your mediator will

call you over for other meetings, either on a

weekly or monthly basis, depending on what

timing works based on everyone’s schedule.

During those meetings, you will discuss

property division, financial support, and

custody.

The mediator will then ask you for all your legal

documents, about your assets, debts, and

property, and also gather up other information.

Based on all these documents and assessments,

a decision can then be made whether

consulting with therapists, CPAs, etc. is needed.

Mediation cases usually get resolved in a

shorter time than litigated cases.

The Advantages of Divorce

Mediation While other court cases can cost more

than expected, the big benefit of

divorce mediation is that you save a lot

of money.


Since you will be the one to make the

agreement, you can address all the

issues that you aren’t happy about

before the process comes to an end.

You get the chance to arrange support

and custody for your children.

Questions You Can Ask In your first meeting with the mediator, here

are some questions that you may ask him or

her:

1. Are you experienced? Did you take any

training? (You should know that

mediators should complete 30 hours of

training). Look for someone who has

mediated at least ten cases).

2. Are you affiliated with any professional

organizations?

3. What is your way of approaching the

case?

4. Are you neutral and unbiased?

5. How much do you charge?

6. How long will this process take?

7. Will my lawyer play any role in this

process?

Power Imbalance The mediator’s main aim in the proceedings is

to not take a particular side and try to maintain

a balance. If at any point you are worried about

power imbalance, it is best that you voice it out

to the mediator. While mediators may have

different approaches to this problem, a good

one will always try to prevent any party from

dominating the mediation sessions.

Concluding the Mediation

Process Compared to the traditional process of divorce,

divorce mediation can offer many notable

advantages. It can help to save money, time and

it gives couples who have made up their mind

to part ways a chance of cooperating and

negotiating on how they want their lives to be

after the divorce. Generally, if you and your ex-

spouse opt for the mediation process, there is a

greater chance that both of you can make other

arrangements which will help you in the long

run to make your lives a lot better.

Moreover, studies have shown that divorce

agreements/Judgments reached in mediation

tend to be more adhered to by the parties than

orders made by the court, because the parties

worked out the Judgment terms themselves.


The Maggio Law Firm is a well-established

California divorce and family law firm serving

the Orange County and Riverside areas,

focusing on individuals, couples and families

who have legal concerns including divorce,

family law, child custody issues, premarital

agreements, and stepparent adoptions.

The Maggio Law Firm is headed by Gerald

Maggio, an experienced family law and divorce

attorney. Mr. Maggio is also a trained divorce

mediator. Mr. Maggio understands that

litigated divorce and child custody cases is not

necessarily the best option to resolving

differences and can result in a painful and

depressing transition for the entire family post-

divorce.

Throughout his work experience in general, and

his legal career in particular, Mr. Maggio has

always worked closely with people to reach

solutions to their problems and assist them in a

multitude of capacities. Mr. Maggio

understands that being a divorce and family law

attorney and working with clients requires a

combination of compassion for clients, listening

to their needs, professionalism, honest

communications, and objective assessment of a

client’s case, and he exemplifies those qualities.

With his experience in successful litigations as

well as amicable out of court settlements, he

believes that divorce and custody disputes are

best resolved when both parties are

empowered with the right tools and

information and communicate with each other

to solve their differences. According to Mr.

Maggio, going to the court should be the last

resort option.

Have more questions about your legal rights?

Contact us to discuss your legal concerns with

an experienced Orange County divorce lawyer

and family law attorney at (949) 553-0304 and

visit us at www.maggiolawfirm.com.

Disclaimers: This Divorce Guide includes

information about legal issues and

developments, and is for general informational

purposes only. The contents of this Guide is not

intended, and should not be taken, as legal

advice on any particular set of facts or

circumstances. You should contact an attorney

for advice on specific legal problems. Also, your

receipt and use of this Divorce Guide does not

create an attorney-client relationship between

you and The Maggio Law Firm. As a matter of

policy, The Maggio Law Firm does not accept a

new client without first investigating for

possible conflicts of interest and obtaining a

signed retainer agreement.

http://www.maggiolawfirm.com/

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