7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens

Introduction lessons

Habits: things we do repeatedly, but are hardly aware that we have them.

Some are good (exercise, planning ahead, showing respect).

Some are bad (negative thinking, blaming others).

Some don't matter (taking showers at night, eating yogurt with a fork, reading last chapter in a book)

What is a habit?

Get control of your life Improve relationships with your friends/family Make smarter decisions Get along with your parents Overcome addiction Define your values and what matters most to you Get more done in less time Increase your self-confidence Be happy Find balance (school/work/friends/family/activities)

The 7 habits will help me how?

Paradigm: perception, the way you see something, your point of view◦ Can create limitations if they are way off the mark.

How do you view yourself? How do you view others? How do you "center" yourself - what is the

driving force of my life? ◦ Friends? Stuff? School? Parents? Sports/Hobbies? Self?

All can lead to lack of balance in your life and limit ability to work with others and be successful.

What is a paradigm?

principle: life centers that can be applied equally to everyone.

Examples: honesty, service, love, hard work, respect, gratitude, moderation, fairness, integrity, loyalty, responsibility

What are their opposites? Imagine living a life based on their opposites.

What is a principle?

You, your character, the private victory This account is how you feel about yourself

Personal Bank Account

Deposits Withdrawals

Keep promises to yourself Break personal promises

Do small acts of kindness Keep to yourself

Be honest Be dishonest

Tap into your talents Neglect your talents

Renew yourself Wear yourself out

Take care of yourself Negative thinking/actions

I am the force.

Proactive people make choices based on values, think before they act

You cannot control everything that happens to you, you can control what you do about it.

Press “pause:” get control, think about your response, make smarter decisions!

Habit 1: Be Proactive

Proactive People:

Are not easily offended Take responsibility for their choices Think before they act Bounce back when something bad happens Always find a way to make it happen Focus on the things they can do something

about, and don’t worry about things they can’t.

Actions of Proactive People

I’ll do it I can do better than that Let’s look at all our options I choose to There’s “gotta” be a way I’m not going to let your bad mood rub off

on me

Sound Proactive

“Control your own destiny or someone else will.” – Jack Welch

Develop a clear picture of where you want to go with your life.

Decide what your values are and set goals.

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind

“Would you tell me please which way I ought to walk from here?”

“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.

“I don’t much care where-”said Alice.“Then it doesn’t matter which way to walk,”

said the Cat.

-From Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

Without a vision of the end…

Mission statement – what is really important to you. As you go through life, you make decisions to carry out this larger vision.

Watch out for these roadblocks: Negative labels “It’s all over” syndrome Wrong wall

You are on a mission

Mission =

Goals =

Your mission and your goals

Count the cost◦ Avoid withdrawals to your PBA/consider benefits

Write them down◦ This forces you to be specific

Do it!◦ “Do or do not. There is no try.” – Yoda, the great Jedi Master

Use momentous moments◦ Setbacks, tragedies, new beginnings have power.

Rope up◦ Strength from others will lead you to greater success.

Goal!

“Most of us will never do great things. But we can do small things in a great way.” – Mouritsen

Carpe Diem!

Focus on your mission

You have a lot to do and there isn’t enough time to do it!

Prioritize and manage your time

Overcome your fears and be strong during hard moments!

Habit 3: Put first things first

Will and Won’t Power

Will-power: the strength to say yes to your most important things

Won’t power: the strength to say no to less important things and to peer pressure

The more organized you are, the more time you will have for family, friends, schoolwork, yourself, your hobbies.

Life is like a suitcase…

Urgent Not urgent

Important The Procrastinator

•Exam tomorrow•Friend injured•Late for work•Project due today

The Prioritizer

•Planning, goal setting•Essay due in a week•Exercise•Relationships•Relaxation

Not important

The Yes – Man

•Unimportant phone calls•Interruptions•Other people’s small problems•Peer pressure

The Slacker

•Too much tv•Endless phone calls•Excessive computer time•Time wasters

Time Quadrants

Use your planner (it won’t tie you down, it will free you up!)

Plan weekly (take 15 minutes to plan your week)◦ Identify the most important things you need to accomplish this week◦ Block out time for these things◦ Schedule everything else

Adapt daily

The action plan

In order to achieve first things first, you must overcome fear and peer pressure.

Comfort zone is risk free. No stretching needed. Filled with things you know.

Courage zone is filled with adventure, risk and challenge. The only place you will find opportunity and your full potential.

Winning means rising each time you fall.

Comfort vs. Courage

Habit one: you are the driver, not the passenger.

Habit two: since you are driving, decide where you want to go and draw a map to get there!

Habit three: Get there! Don’t let roadblocks take you off course!

Habits 1+2+3=Personal Victories

The amount of trust and confidence you have in your relationships

You have accounts with everyone you meet These accounts never close

Relationship Bank Account

RBA Deposits RBA Withdrawals

Keep promises Break promises

Do small acts of kindness Keep to yourself

Be loyal Gossip and break confidences

Listen Don’t listen

Say you’re sorry Be arrogant

Set clear expectations Set false expectations

I can win, and so can you.

There is plenty of success to go around.

You must accomplish private victory first.

Use competition as a benchmark to measure yourself against.

Compare yourself against your own potential.

Habit 4: Think Win-Win

Win-lose situation: you get your way, but someone else doesn’t.

◦ Using other people for own selfish purposes◦ Getting ahead at the expense of another◦ Spreading rumors (putting someone else down puts you

“up.”◦ Insisting on getting your way (no concern for others)◦ Being jealous/envious when good happens to others.

And the winner is NOT…

Lose-Win situation: take the blame/back down to avoid arguments, tension.◦ Set low expectations, compromising your standards again

and again. ◦ Giving into peer pressure.

Lose-Lose situation: if I am going down, you are going down, too.◦ If both people want to win at all costs, both are going to

end up losing

When you’re not the winner…

Listen with your eyes, heart, and ears.◦ Can you hear what people are not saying?

Listen without judging and without giving advice. Try to see and feel the world from the speaker’s perspective.

Mirror the words of others to uncover the deeper issue

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood.

Poor listening styles to avoid – do you hear me?

Spacing out Pretend listening Selective listening Word listening Self-centered listening

Is anyone listening?

“Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.” – Helen Keller

Synergy: achieved when 2 or more people work together to create a better solution than either could alone.

Habit 6: Synergize

Synergy is: Synergy is not:

Celebrating differences Tolerating differences

Teamwork Working independently

Open-mindedness Thinking you are always right

Finding new/better ways Compromise

Define the problem or opportunity

Their way (Seek first to understand the ideas of others)

My way (Seek to be understood by sharing your ideas)

Brainstorm (create new options and ideas)

High Way (find the best solution)

Synergy is a process

Plodders

Followers

Innovators

Harmonizers

Show-offs

Great teams are made up of great people…

“The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining.” – President John F. Kennedy

Keep your personal self sharp so you can better deal with life.

Keep your “saw” sharp by building in time to keep your body, brain and emotions in shape.

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw

Brain Body Emotions

Read Exercise Volunteer

Write Eat healthy Laugh

Learn new skills Sleep well Friends/family

Relax Relax Relax

Sharpening strategies