1. 1. How To Work In Difficult Times 2 Making Friends with Stress Peter Gowers / Mark Wilson
2. 2. The presenters Pete and Mark are IT managers with MBAs not psychologists or HR professionals We have an interest in the subject area and are just sharing what weve read or discovered from professionals and experts This stuff works for us, but your mileage may vary HR, Medical professionals and occupational health are always available if needed Pete Mark
3. 3. Key Themes Making friends with stress Understanding yourself and others Working in even more difficult times Productivity and performance
4. 4. 1. BUSINESS 2. TECH/SCIENCE 3. PSYCHOLOGY Quote Quiz 4. PHILOSOPHY Knowing yourself is the beginning of all Wisdom
5. 5. Aristotle 4. PHILOSOPHY Knowing yourself is the beginning of all Wisdom
6. 6. Making Friends with Stress
7. 7. WHAT IS STRESS ? Stress is caused by two things. Primarily it is down to whether you think situations around you are worthy of anxiety. And then it's down to how your body reacts to your thought processes. This instinctive stress response to unexpected events is known as 'fight or flight The Stress Response 1930s Dr. Hans Selye Dr. Walter Cannon Flight or Fight Response
8. 8. BBC Fight or Flight https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnpQrMqDoqE Whole video
9. 9. Dealing with Stress Breathe Create a list (HTWIDT 1. The Art of Control) Get Social Seek out things that calm you Use distractions T h
10. 10. 1. BUSINESS 2. TECH/SCIENCE 3. PSYCHOLOGY 4. PHILOSOPHY Quote Quiz So the problem is, nowadays, with modern man, when we feel in danger, we still fill up with our own chemical but because we can't kill traffic wardens or eat our boss, the fuel just stays in our body over and over, so we're in a constant state of alarm
11. 11. 3. PSYCHOLOGY Ruby Wax So the problem is, nowadays, with modern man, when we feel in danger, we still fill up with our own chemical but because we can't kill traffic wardens or eat our boss, the fuel just stays in our body over and over, so we're in a constant state of alarm
12. 12. So how do we train our responses to not be scared of stress, what if we could embrace it, accept it, harness it? Turn Negative stress to Positive Stress
13. 13. Kelly McGonical How To Make Stress Your Friend http://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend?language=en Video approx 1.20 to 3:30 minutes.
14. 14. Making Stress Your Friend - Re-framing Re-framing is a technique to change the way you look at things in order to feel better about them. There are many ways to interpret the same situation so pick the one you like. Re-framing does not change the external reality, but helps you view things in a different light and less stressfully. Im rubbish at presenting, it makes me feel awful and uncomfortable becomes When I am talking about something I like it doesnt matter how many people are watching it just flows
15. 15. Making Stress Your Friend - Positivity Stress leaves us vulnerable to negative suggestion so focus on positives; Focus on your strengths Learn from the stress you are under Look for opportunities Seek out the positive - make a change Compliment others regularly
16. 16. Positivity Tips Do more of what you like Your relationship with your boss is the single most important relationship to your overall happiness and wellbeing, make it a priority No one comes to work purposely to annoy you, so work out why you are upset to give you strategies to overcome stress People are very fun, we are all different, learn from people that inspire you
17. 17. Larry King I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I'm going to learn, I must do it by listening
18. 18. Understanding Yourself and Others
19. 19. 1. BUSINESS 2. TECH/SCIENCE 3. PSYCHOLOGY 4. PHILOSOPHY Quote Quiz I don't like that man. I must get to know him better.
20. 20. Abraham Lincoln1. BUSINESS 4. PHILOSOPHY I don't like that man. I must get to know him better.
21. 21. So a question Who are you? YOU Parent Partner Employee Boss Personality Type Colleague Worker Thinker Strengths/ Weaknesses Friend
22. 22. People Change We get older Circumstances and relationships change We learn An optimistic view Neuroplasticity We become what we do and where we focus Our brain chemistry changes Can be for the better Mindfulness What do you want to do and how do you want to think?
23. 23. How tough are you with you? When you catch yourself feeling youre not as good as you should or could be, especially when thats in the past Look at who youre comparing yourself with If you compare yourself with other people, chances are youd realise they are a mix of strengths, weaknesses and middle stuff Normally people realise they stack up pretty well/ok Wed suggest you may be comparing yourself to super You!
24. 24. Super Pete and Super Mark
25. 25. Super Pete He has no downtime He never gets frustrated He doesnt speak too much and always listens attentively He has a time machine because hed do things differently in the past He can do an infinite quantity of tasks Hes universally positive He can take criticism always just as opinions Unfortunately: - he doesnt exist, comparing with him is frankly bonkers!
26. 26. Super Mark He only works his hours and gets everything done He can forget things that happened to him because theyve passed, just like that! He can concentrate on one thing only at a time and really enjoy it He gets up at 0600 every day and is never tired Unfortunately: - he doesnt exist, comparing with him is frankly bonkers! If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. Dalai Lama
27. 27. So when are we Superish? At our best thats often in flow states Totally engaged in a task Hours pass in minutes Concept from Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi Studied people who loved what they did Artists, musicians, chess players, rock climbers
28. 28. Flow Flow is the state in which people are so involved in an activity, that nothing else seems to matter; the experience itself is so enjoyable that people will do it even at great cost, for the shear sake of doing it. It does not seem to be true that work necessarily needs to be unpleasant. It may always have to be hard, or at least harder than doing nothing at all. But there is ample evidence that work can be enjoyable, and that indeed, it is often the most enjoyable part of life. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
29. 29. Flow High Challenge High Skill
30. 30. Flow High Challenge High Skill Use Signature Strengths, especially in a new area. Do you know what your strengths are? http://www.authentichappiness.org Select Tasks for Intrinsic Motivation, where you can bring your high skill levels Develop Skills in a challenging activity Can your workgroup redistribute tasks to make that better?
31. 31. Working in even more difficult times
32. 32. 1. BUSINESS 2. TECH/SCIENCE 3. PSYCHOLOGY Quote Quiz 4. PHILOSOPHY The number of stressors has multiplied exponentially: traffic, money, success, work/life balance, the economy, the environment, parenting, family conflict, relationships, disease. As the nature of human life has become far more complicated, our ancient stress response hasn't been able to keep up.
33. 33. Andrew Bernstein Ph.D 4. PHILOSOPHY The number of stressors has multiplied exponentially: traffic, money, success, work/life balance, the economy, the environment, parenting, family conflict, relationships, disease. As the nature of human life has become far more complicated, our ancient stress response hasn't been able to keep up.
34. 34. Motivation Were at our best when doing things for which were intrinsically motivated. autonomy, mastery and purpose. - Autonomy: the urge to direct our own lives. - Mastery: the desire to get better and better at something that matters. - Purpose: the yearning to do what we do in the service of something larger than ourselves. Dan Pink Get those conditions where you can, be creative What if you cant have those? Get help, delegate or tough it out, grit
35. 35. Grit http://www.ted.com/talks/angela_lee_duckworth_the_key_to_success_grit?language=en Video approx: 1m to 3:30
36. 36. Grit Grit is passion and perseverance for very long-term goals. Grit is having stamina. Grit is sticking with your future, day in, day out, not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years, and working really hard to make that future a reality. Grit is living life like it's a marathon, not a sprint. Angela Lee Duckworth If I persist long enough I will win. ~Og Mandino
37. 37. Increase your Grit you can bear what you think you cannot bear, particularly if you see that doing so has a purpose. Windy Dryden Try doing tough things for 30 days Willpower gets tired, use it in the morning Basics, sleep and exercise Associate with people with Grit Meditation/Mindfulness
38. 38. 1. BUSINESS 2. TECH/SCIENCE 3. PSYCHOLOGY Quote Quiz 4. PHILOSOPHY Everyone needs a coach. It doesn't matter whether you're a basketball player, a tennis player, a gymnast or a bridge player
39. 39. Bill Gates Everyone needs a coach. It doesn't matter whether you're a basketball player, a tennis player, a gymnast or a bridge player 2. TECH/SCIENCE
40. 40. Supporting Others Here we advocate listening Listening allows learning and gains clarity Listening minimises resistance People like being listened to Listening coaches and empowers, people often do have the answers that will work for them Unfortunately Listening is hard, you have to consciously work at it and practise how
41. 41. Active Listening 1 Asking open questions: any questions not requiring a yes/no answer eg How? What? Where? Who? When? and Why? 2 Summarising: a summary helps to show the person that you have listened and understood them. 3 Reflecting: simply repeating back a key word or phrase encourages the person to go on and expand on what has been said. 4 Clarifying: sometimes a person will gloss over an important point or emotion. Phrases such as Tell me more about... can help the person clarify these points for themselves. 5 Short words of encouragement: A simple yes, go on, or I see help the person to continue, and shows that you are interested. 6 Reacting: People are often looking for empathy and understanding. Phrases that show youve really understood what something was like for them can help build rapport and trust.
42. 42. "When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen." - Ernest Hemingway
43. 43. Productivity and Performance
44. 44. 1. BUSINESS 2. TECH/SCIENCE 3. PSYCHOLOGY Quote Quiz 4. PHILOSOPHY Be true to yourself, stay positive and always find a way to leverage your strengths. Be authentic, dont follow the herd.
45. 45. Alan Mulally Be true to yourself, stay positive and always find a way to leverage your strengths. Be authentic, dont follow the herd. 1. BUSINESS
46. 46. Email So many people tell us email is their problem You need a system, it wont get better on its own Well tell you about 2 quickly
47. 47. Petes email Method in minutes Key disconnects: Everyone expects their requests responded to yet people dont believe they can handle their responses. Many use email as a task list, but an inbox blurs importance and urgency People value email as a way of getting things done, yet most people feel overloaded by it. Many people spend a lot of time filing and increasing backlogs
48. 48. Basics of Petes Model File only by date and use search, save time and avoid piles of filing Dont delete anything Get good at search Use a task list outside of outlook. New PST every 6 months Batch and touch an email once, add to a task list
49. 49. Or for the more Adventurous
50. 50. Marks method/Email Diet in minutes Choose that volume is not the goal Big emotional leap, you may not be ready Get out of the inbox quickly, most things dont need a response at all Accept that you get email because you send it and regulate what you send to get less back Answer emails with calls, meetings or save to discuss in 1:1s. Tell people when youd prefer not to receive email, workgroups, subordinates, vacation Remind people that you hate email often!
51. 51. Marks method/Email Diet in minutes Email is a jumping off point for discussions Talking is sooooo much more fun Still send emails when necessary, but maybe 50-80% less (I aim for 20-30 a day) Never stay late to send email, youll have loads more when you get back, if you have to, compose it and save it, send tomorrow
52. 52. Other email Methods Peter Cooke Taming the tide Digital worker, Yammer - #email Find something that works for you. Just dont expect others to change without intervention
53. 53. 1. BUSINESS 2. TECH/SCIENCE 3. PSYCHOLOGY 4. PHILOSOPHY Quote Quiz Its not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it
54. 54. Hans Selye 2. TECH/SCIENCE Its not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it
55. 55. The Final Word http://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend?language=en Video approx: 6:45 to 7:30
56. 56. Any Questions
57. 57. References/More reading http://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_ make_stress_your_friend?language=en http://www.ted.com/talks/angela_lee_duckworth_the _key_to_success_grit/transcript?language=en http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_pink_on_motivation?l anguage=en http://www.ted.com/talks/ruby_wax_what_s_so_funn y_about_mental_illness?language=en Sane New World: Taming the Mind Paperback 27 Feb 2014, by Ruby Wax How to work in difficult times: 1. the art of control http://x.ford.com/htwidt