So how do you get happy? Here's a don't-do list to set you on the path to happiness.

Don't look outwards: Seeking external sources of happiness can sabotage your peace. San Francisco-based sustainable happiness expert Dr Aymee Coget suggests, "Focus on controlling your emotional state by choosing happiness and adopting positive psychology principles, build your resilience, follow your heart and meditate into the greatest states of bliss."

Don't hold a grudge: American writer Rita Mae Brown said it right when she wrote, "One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory." Forgiveness doesn't come easy, but is key; anger, antagonism and resentment are detrimental to your self. Dr Vandana Tara, a Delhi-based clinical psychologist, says, "In all probability, the person concerned will go on with life while you nurture ill-will. This bitterness could leave you physically and mentally ill."

Don't mistreat yourself: Happy people know the importance of looking after themselves — they eat healthy, exercise regularly and get enough sleep. Exercise keeps you fit, lets you relax, boosts brain power and improves your body image. Sound sleep lets you focus and increases productivity. Sleep-deprived people fail to recall pleasant memories, but are good at recalling glum moments.

Don't neglect family and pals: Studies have consistently proven that spending time with close ones impacts our happiness quotient. Harvard happiness expert and author of Stumbling on Happiness, Daniel Gilbert sums up: "We are happy when we have family, we are happy when we have friends and almost all the other things we think make us happy are actually just ways of getting more family and friends." Also, make time only for those who matter; superficial relationships sap mirth.

Don't compare: Keeping up with the Joneses doesn't help the happiness cause. Constant comparisons with people who are smarter, more attractive or successful leads to resentment. "Comparing is a battle, a fight. If you were to look back on your life, you don't want to think you've wasted your time on it," Keller says. Tara says the way out is to compete with yourself. "Easier said than done, but every individual is unique. Another person's weakness might be your asset."

Don't be self-centred: Doing good makes us feel good. Research indicates that helping others ups our sense of self-esteem, setting us on the path to real and rewarding happiness. University of Pennsylvania professor Martin Seligman, in Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being, says, scientists "have found that doing a kindness produces the single most reliable momentary increase in wellbeing of any exercise we have tested". When the recipient of your gesture expresses joy, it acts as a reward, says Dr

Samir Parikh, director of the department of mental health and behavioural sciences at Fortis Healthcare. Tutoring your house help's kids or volunteering at a care centre yields the same result: A happy you.

Don't fail to live in the moment: "It is our nature to dwell on past events, especially negatives. We need six positives for our brain to overcome what happened in the past. Training our mind to live in the moment — a sink-or-swim skill — is the way to happiness," Coget says. Learn from past mistakes, but live in the present.

Don't be ungrateful: Being grateful increases satisfaction. Think of three good things that happened to you in a day or keep a journal of what you are grateful for.The Journal of Happiness study revealed that writing letters of gratitude increased happiness and life satisfaction while decreasing depressive symptoms. "We all don't have things that we want, so it's easy to be negative. Soon, this emotion seeps into our subconscious and takes over our minds," Keller says.

Don't be afraid: Fears of what may or may not happen will persist, but happy people take the first step towards turning their dreams into reality. "Whatever you've dreamed of, get started. Don't wait for that one fateful day when everything will fall into place," Desai says.

to become a loving, positive personIt's one thing to wax eloquent on positivity, but quite another to be a positive person at heart.

Despite believing to have a positive outlook, we invariably weigh the cons first, consider several times before sparing a compliment, and broadcast only the odds when someone counts on us for advice. What's more, we prefer needless sarcasm for humour, manage a wry smile when something is genuinely funny, and believe deep down that the glass is actually half empty.

We live in denial of our inherent negativity for the most part, and often wonder why the world around is so mean and reckless. At work, we never fail telling our juniors how meeting deadlines can be a tough proposition, and not to think too 'out of the box' to impress the boss. In short, we never tire telling all concerned how tough things can be! Unlike dogs we may not be born eternal optimists, but positivity is something that can be imbibed even if a tad forcibly; such as by trying to tweak our sense of humour, the way we react to a given situation, by being more pleasant and believing others too have a mind, and by

smiling each time somebody says 'thank you'.

While positivity is a state of mind, the answer lies in our perspective. Clinical psychologist and lifestyle advisor Dr S.K Sharma shares his ideas on how to be a positive person everyday.

Have the desire: First thing first, to become a positive person one must have a strong desire to be positive. And the desire will come only if you are convinced that becoming a positive person will enhance the quality of life. Positivity is like an aura, and you know you are a positive person when people start trusting you, random people become polite with you, colleagues at work start patronising you, and you start building rapport easily.

Be realistic: Do not try to become a saint. Becoming a positive person does not mean you can never have any negative emotion or encounter any negative situation. It is the overall attitude that matters. Don't get bogged down by failure, and disappointed when your expectations are not met. Mentally, you should always be calculating a way out of difficult situations come what may.

Experiment: Be a keen observer. Use everyday life incidents to see how you can manage them in a more positive manner. These will serve as perfect instances to turn your outlook more positive. For starters, contemplate how you could have better handled a situation by being less hostile and more indulgent. Come up with five ways that could have saved the day, and learn to take things at face value sometimes. Remember, your ability to trust the other person also reflects your genuineness.

Speech and body language: Try and make positive words a part of your daily lingo, and work on your body language in way that you come across as friendly and approachable. Look amused when something is amusing, laugh when something is funny, congratulate when someone's bought something new, and give others a chance to narrate their side of the story. Never think you are the only interesting, knowing one around.

Company: One way to becoming positive is to seek positive company as both positivity and negativity are infectious. If the people you spend most of your time with are grumpy or have a pessimistic standpoint, you'll find yourself mirroring the same emotions before a different set of people inadvertently. In

order to inculcate positivity it is imperative that your friend circle is a positive, energetic, and a happy bunch. You'll find yourself carrying the same positivity everywhere you go.

Activities: Do not remain idle and brood. Take up positive activities with others or in isolation. Share a joke, narrate a pleasant incident, take part in sporting activities, go for a run in the evening after work, have healthy sex, and you'll find yourself bubbling with positive energy.

Take it easy: Everyday life is bound to give you shocks. Be prepared to minimise impact and shrug it off. For instance, you may get too hassled everyday while driving to work or trying to park your car. When you accept the fact that certain things cannot be changed, you'll be more at ease with yourself and those around too.

Learn yoga: Says yoga teacher and nutritionist, Abhilasha Kale, "Do pranayam everyday as it lets you focus and meditate. Not only does it secrete happy hormones but also creates a sense of awareness within you." With the help of yogic asanas you control your breathing, and by way of it, control your mind from wandering. Every time you do yoga, you feel a surge of positive energy through your body that calms your nerves, soothes your mind, elevates your mood, and not to mention enhances your level of tolerance.

Maintain a diary: Instead of recounting all events of the day, filter out only the positive ones and make a note of them. It could be anything trivial from your bus arriving on time, your mom cooking a delicious breakfast, to remembering to pay the bills on time. When we look for positivity in the little things that make our lives worthwhile, we leave no room for negativity. "Try consciously practising this for 10 days, and at the end of day ten when you read your diary back you'll only have memories of all the good things that happened to you," she asserts.

Say 'thank you': Thank god, thank your parents, friends, and thank yourself for all the hard work you did, for everything you achieved. Says Abhilasha, "Saying thank you frequently makes you humble, and a humble person is seldom cynical."

Try these methods, and you'll be surprised when others notice the change in

you.