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Book by Tim KellyMusic and Lyrics by Bill Francoeur

© Copyright 1993 under the title of “Hee Haw Hayride,” Pioneer Drama Service, Inc.

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HILLBILLY HAYRIDEA Hillbilly Musical Comedy in Two Acts

Book by Tim KellyMusic and Lyrics by Bill Francoeur

SYNOPSISThe action takes place mostly in the backwoods community of Lonesome Polecat.

TIMEThe Present.

BASIC SETA view of “downtown” Lonesome Polecat. It looks like a page torn from a comic book. STAGE RIGHT is the facade of a ramshackle boardinghouse, with sign. Some chairs or bench. STAGE LEFT is the facade of a general store, with sign. Some barrels, a bench. UPSTAGE there’s a painted backdrop of hills and trees. Entrances/exits are UP RIGHT and DOWN RIGHT below the boardinghouse; UP LEFT and DOWN LEFT below the general store. Below the curtain line is an all-purpose area (FORESTAGE). EXTREME DOWN RIGHT and EXTREME DOWN LEFT represent various locations.

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CAST OF CHARACTERS(In order of speaking)

# of lines

LAURETTE GREENACRE ....................... runs general store 27

EDNA TUBBS ......................................... runs boardinghouse 32

ROSE MARIE MURDOCK ...................... New York writer 33

DAGMAR ................................................ Edna’s teenage daughter 18

OBIE ....................................................... Laurette’s teenage son 29

LEE ROY CALHOUN............................... in love with Emmy Lou, 18 29

EMMY LOU TOLLIVER ........................... in love with Lee Roy, 18 32

PAW CALHOUN ..................................... Lee Roy’s Paw, hates Tollivers 66

BUBBA ................................................... Lee Roy’s older brother 34

GOOBER................................................. another older brother 35

MAW TOLLIVER ..................................... Emmy Lou’s Maw, hates 50 Calhouns

PETUNIA ................................................ Emmy Lou’s older sister 22

DULCY .................................................... another older sister 20

DWIGHT CULVER ................................... owns Panda Publishing Co. 65

MISS PICKINS ....................................... his secretary 27

MISS FORAN ......................................... another employee 17

JOE MARTIN .......................................... senior junior editor 102

LUCILLE STEVENS ................................. owns Bandar Log Books, Inc. 39

SALLY MERRIWETHER ......................... her top assistant 129

MISS WHEELER .................................... secretary 14

MISS LIPSCOTT ..................................... another 9

TRAIN CONDUCTOR .............................. enjoys punching tickets 9

BIANCA .................................................. Lonesome Polecat teenager 22

ESTHER .................................................. another 25

CHLOE .................................................... another 23

GRACE ................................................... another

RUBY PERKINS ..................................... another, likes to make up jokes 46

MR. DOGWEAZEL ................................. mailman 19

SHERIFF DICKENS ................................ on the job 20

CHARLIE RHODES ................................ ready to settle down 21

SHERRI GORDON ................................. film executive 60

IRIS HUTTON ......................................... publicity is everything 26

ANTIQUITY WORMWOOD ..................... cures what ails you 23

CITIZENS OF LONESOME

POLECAT .................................... as/if desired N/A

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SEQUENCE OF MUSICAL NUMBERSMC 1 Overture .................................................... InstrumentalMC 2 Fussin’ an’ a Feudin’ ............................... Tollivers, Calhouns,

Citizens, Rose MarieMC 3 I’m Headin’ fer the Hills ..........................Dwight, Lucille, Joe,

Sally, Miss Pickens, Miss Foran, Miss Wheeler, Miss Lipscott

SOUND EFFECT: TrainMC 4 Hee Haw Hayride .....................................Citizens of

Lonesome PolecatMC 5 Love is Somethin’ Special to Me ...........Lee Roy, Emmy Lou SOUND EFFECT: Yapping DogsMC 6 Sweet Country Life .................................. Tollivers, SallyMC 6a Fussin’ an’ a Feudin’ (Reprise) ..............CompanyMC 7 Entr acte.................................................... InstrumentalMC 8 Dozin’ in the Hot, Hot Sun ......................Male Critters SOUND EFFECT: Car Horn SOUND EFFECT: Car HornMC 9 Rockabilly Lullaby .................................... Iris, Sherri, CitizensMC 10 Yer the Worm in My Apple ...................... Tollivers, Calhouns SOUND EFFECT: Hooting Owl SOUND EFFECT: Hooting Owl SOUND EFFECT: Hooting OwlMC 11 I Fergits .....................................................Antiquity, Sally, Joe,

Ruby, Charlie, Lee Roy, Emmy Lou

MC 11a Antiquity’s Travellin Music SOUND EFFECT: Car HornMC 12 Weddin Day .............................................CompanyMC 12a Hee Haw Hayride (Reprise) ....................CompanyMC 13 Curtain CallMC 14 Exit Music

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SEQUE C O MUSICA NUMBERM O erture . In t umen aM ussi an - eudi o l ver Calhoun

Citi en Rose MarieM m Headin fe the Hi l .D igh uc lle Joe

all Mi Picken Mis ora Mis Wheele Mis ipscot

OU D EFFEC TrainM Hee Haw Ha ride Citizen o

o esome Pole aM 5 Love i omethin Specia to Me .Le Ro Emm Lou OU D EFFEC apping DogM wee Countr ife l er a lM 6 ussi an - eudi (Rep i e CompanM nt act . In t umentaM Dozin i the Ho Ho u .Male Critter OU D EFFEC Ca Horn OU D EFFEC Ca HornM Rockab l u lab . Iri Sherr Citi enM 10 e the Wo m i M Appl l er Calhoun OU D EFFEC Hootin Ow OU D EFFEC Hootin O OU D EFFEC Hootin OM ergit .Antiquit all Joe

Rub C a ie ee Ro Emm ou

M A tiquit Trave lin Musi OU D EFFEC Ca HorM Weddin Da CompanM Hee Haw Ha ride (Reprise CompanM Curtai CaM xi Mu i

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HILLBILLY HAYRIDE

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