fear book layout

By Megan Charles

All artwork displayed in this book is original artwork created by the author.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

1

19

CHAPTER 1

I am what most people would consider the classic representation of a fearful person. Most of my fears come straight from the

obvious and overused. I have a dizzying anxiety over heights, an alert nervousness towards the dark, and an irrational hatred for spiders. Most of my fears are not rooted in any sort of logic-I cannot explain why or how I have these fears, nor do I have any coping mechanisms to deal with them. They simply exist, lurking behind my aura of self-assurance and naive intrepidness.

I am weak when it comes to certain subjects of my terror. Sharks are just one of these cracks in my carefully constructed mold of bravery. My fear of these underwater beasts is not one that I am proud of. I feel ashamed of my hesitation to dive out into unknown waters. From this fear, I have an odd fascination with learning more of the object I fear. For some reason, I enjoy scaring myself-even if it is in mild doses. I would never go as far as Gordon Grice in facing my fear of sharks; I do not have a tank of them sit-ting in my dorm room ready for my observation. Instead I observe from a distance, watching them and collecting information through a television screen. As long as I do not come into physical contact

10 FEAR

with any type of shark my fear is kept at bay.Most people are afraid of the unknown,

myself included. Sharks lurk in the unknown, concealed in the murky abyss of unfathomably deep water. If I could attach a tracking device to every single shark roaming this earth, I would be completely unafraid. However, this idea of control is lost to me in reality. Fear cannot be tamed that easily.

I am what most people would consider the classic representation of a fearful person.

Most of my fears come straight from the obvious and overused. I have a dizzying anxiety over heights, an alert nervousness towards the dark, and an irrational hatred for spiders. Most of my fears are not rooted in any sort of logic-I cannot explain why or how I have these fears, nor do I have any coping mechanisms to deal with them. They simply exist, lurking behind my aura of self-assurance and naive intrepidness.

I am weak when it comes to certain subjects of my terror. Sharks are just one of these cracks in my carefully constructed mold of bravery. My fear of these underwater beasts is not one that I am proud of. I feel ashamed of my hesitation to dive out into unknown waters. From this fear, I have an odd fascination with learning more of the object I fear. For some reason, I enjoy scaring myself-even if it is in mild doses. I would never go as far as Gordon Grice in facing my fear of sharks; I do not have a tank of them sit-ting in my dorm room ready for my observation. Instead I observe from a distance, watching them and collecting information through a television screen. As long as I do not come into physical contact with any type of shark my fear is kept at bay.

Most people are afraid of the unknown, myself included. Sharks lurk in the unknown, concealed in the murky abyss of unfathom-ably deep water. If I could attach a tracking device to every single

11CHAPTER 1

shark roaming this earth, I would be completely unafraid. Howev-er, this idea of control is lost to me in reality. Fear cannot be tamed that easily.

I am what most people would consider the classic representation of a fearful person. Most of my fears come straight from the obvi-ous and overused. I have a dizzying anxiety over heights, an alert nervousness towards the dark, and an irrational hatred for spiders. Most of my fears are not rooted in any sort of logic-I cannot explain why or how I have these fears, nor do I have any coping mecha-nisms to deal with them. They simply exist, lurking behind my aura of self-assurance and naive intrepidness.


Most people are afraid of the unknown, myself included. Sharks lurk in the unknown, concealed in the murky abyss of unfathom-ably deep water. If I could attach a tracking device to every single shark roaming this earth, I would be completely unafraid. Howev-er, this idea of control is lost to me in reality. Fear cannot be tamed that easily.

I am what most people would consider the classic representation of a fearful person. Most of my fears come straight from the obvi-ous and overused. I have a dizzying anxiety over heights, an alert nervousness towards the dark, and an irrational hatred for spiders.

12 FEAR

Most of my fears are not rooted in any sort of logic-I cannot explain why or how I have these fears, nor do I have any coping mecha-nisms to deal with them. They simply exist, lurking behind my aura of self-assurance and naive intrepidness.




I am weak when it comes to certain subjects of my terror. Sharks are just one of these cracks in my carefully constructed mold of bravery. My fear of these underwater beasts is not one that

13CHAPTER 1

I am proud of. I feel ashamed of my hesitation to dive out into unknown waters. From this fear, I have an odd fascination with learning more of the object I fear. For some reason, I enjoy scaring myself-even if it is in mild doses. I would never go as far as Gordon Grice in facing my fear of sharks; I do not have a tank of them sit-ting in my dorm room ready for my observation. Instead I observe from a distance, watching them and collecting information through a television screen. As long as I do not come into physical contact with any type of shark my fear is kept at bay.



I am weak when it comes to certain subjects of my terror. Sharks are just one of these cracks in my carefully constructed mold of bravery. My fear of these underwater beasts is not one that I am proud of. I feel ashamed of my hesitation to dive out into unknown waters. From this fear, I have an odd fascination with learning more of the object I fear. For some reason, I enjoy scaring myself-even if it is in mild doses. I would never go as far as Gordon Grice in facing my fear of sharks; I do not have a tank of them sit-ting in my dorm room ready for my observation. Instead I observe from a distance, watching them and collecting information through

14 FEAR

a television screen. As long as I do not come into physical contact with any type of shark my fear is kept at bay.




Most people are afraid of the unknown, myself included. Sharks lurk in the unknown, concealed in the murky abyss of unfathom-ably deep water. If I could attach a tracking device to every single shark roaming this earth, I would be completely unafraid. Howev-er, this idea of control is lost to me in reality. Fear cannot be tamed

15CHAPTER 1

that easily.I am what most people would consider

the classic representation of a fearful person. Most of my fears come straight from the ob-vious and overused. I have a dizzying anxiety over heights, an alert nervousness towards the dark, and an irrational hatred for spiders. Most of my fears are not rooted in any sort of logic-I cannot explain why or how I have these fears, nor do I have any coping mecha-nisms to deal with them. They simply exist, lurking behind my aura of self-assurance and naive intrepidness.



I am what most people would consider the classic representation of a fearful person. Most of my fears come straight from the obvi-ous and overused. I have a dizzying anxiety over heights, an alert

16 FEAR

nervousness towards the dark, and an irrational hatred for spiders. Most of my fears are not rooted in any sort of logic-I cannot explain why or how I have these fears, nor do I have any coping mecha-nisms to deal with them. They simply exist, lurking behind my aura of self-assurance and naive intrepidness.




I am weak when it comes to certain subjects of my terror. Sharks are just one of these cracks in my carefully constructed

17CHAPTER 1

mold of bravery. My fear of these underwater beasts is not one that I am proud of. I feel ashamed of my hesitation to dive out into unknown waters. From this fear, I have an odd fascination with learning more of the object I fear. For some reason, I enjoy scaring myself-even if it is in mild doses. I would never go as far as Gordon Grice in facing my fear of sharks; I do not have a tank of them sit-ting in my dorm room ready for my observation. Instead I observe from a distance, watching them and collecting information through a television screen. As long as I do not come into physical contact with any type of shark my fear is kept at bay.



I am weak when it comes to certain subjects of my terror. Sharks are just one of these cracks in my carefully constructed mold of bravery. My fear of these underwater beasts is not one that I am proud of. I feel ashamed of my hesitation to dive out into unknown waters. From this fear, I have an odd fascination with learning more of the object I fear. For some reason, I enjoy scaring myself-even if it is in mild doses. I would never go as far as Gordon Grice in facing my fear of sharks; I do not have a tank of them sit-ting in my dorm room ready for my observation. Instead I observe

18

from a distance, watching them and collecting information through a television screen. As long as I do not come into physical contact with any type of shark my fear is kept at bay.




CHAPTER 2

My fear is rooted somewhere within the concept of the un-known. Not knowing what’s near me or what could happen

to me terrifies me. The one thing that I do know is the moment when this fear was planted in my subconscious. All of my life, my family has been inclined to vacation in water-associated areas. From lakes, to rivers, to the ocean, the Charles family would va-cation to a body of water at least once a year for as long as I can remember.

My favorite aunt and uncle own a cabin in the Adirondack Mountains of New York. When I was ten years old, my family and I ventured up to this remote oasis for a week in the summer. On a particularly nice afternoon, we decided to take a day trip to a nearby lake. The beach here was small; it consisted of a single, yet massive, spherical rock. Being the innocent and slight ignorant child that I was at the time, I ignored the advice of my older cousins to be careful of a certain area near the edge of the water. There was a slight dip in the submerged rock here and a forceful current that would certainly drag me out much further than I desired.

I vividly remember a single moment of complete and utter terror

20 FEAR

as I accidentally came too close to this cavity in the rock. Instantly I was sucked in by the current, shrieking in terror as I gripped at the slippery surface of the rock for support that simply was not there. My cousin fortunately grabbed me just in time, pulling me to the security of her arms. Her efforts, while valiant, were too late. The damage had already been done. I had stared into the darkness of water and could never look back.

Being so young at the time of this event, my fear was ampli-fied. I quickly associated this fear with any terrifying beasts that lurked beneath murky waters. This included snakes, large fish, and most significantly sharks. Of course my fear was not helped by the incredibly intimidating features possessed by the shark. His razor-sharp teeth, the stretched and constant grimace of his mouth, the sporadic and unpredictable movements of the his body. All of these attributes are more than slightly unnerving. When the idea of an abyss is added to the mix, my fear cripples me.

I tend to ignore my fear as much as possible. However, this ignorance really only comes into play when I am forced to face it head-on. When I am swimming in an ocean, or even a lake, my brain tells me that I should be afraid. I push this knowledge down into the water that I am afraid of, putting myself as far above my fear as possible. Once I am removed from the situation, I become absorbed by my fear. I identify with Grice in this way. He ar-

ticulates his obsession with the black widow spider in an article saying, “The truth is that my fascination is rooted in fear” (Grice 60). My fearful fascination isn’t quite to the de-gree of Grice’s obsession, but it is still there nonetheless.

I have a strange love of watching shark documentaries, which almost always scare me senseless. It has become a way of dealing with my fear, a way of controlling it without

21CHAPTER 2

actually putting myself in any tangible dan-ger. My unquenchable desire for control and order helps me to keep my fears in check. By keeping up a facade of fearlessness, my mind becomes tricked into thinking that I truly am undaunted by the unknown world around me.

My fear is rooted somewhere within the concept of the unknown. Not knowing what’s near me or what could happen to me terrifies me. The one thing that I do know is the mo-ment when this fear was planted in my sub-conscious. All of my life, my family has been inclined to vacation in water-associated areas. From lakes, to rivers, to the ocean, the Charles family would vacation to a body of water at least once a year for as long as I can remember.


I vividly remember a single moment of complete and utter terror as I accidentally came too close to this cavity in the rock. Instantly I was sucked in by the current, shrieking in terror as I gripped at the slippery surface of the rock for support that simply was not there. My cousin fortunately grabbed me just in time, pulling me to the security of her arms. Her efforts, while valiant, were too late. The damage had already been done. I had stared into the darkness of water and could never look back.

22 FEAR


I tend to ignore my fear as much as possible. However, this ignorance really only comes into play when I am forced to face it head-on. When I am swimming in an ocean, or even a lake, my brain tells me that I should be afraid. I push this knowledge down into the water that I am afraid of, putting myself as far above my fear as possible. Once I am removed from the situation, I become absorbed by my fear. I identify with Grice in this way. He articu-lates his obsession with the black widow spider in an article saying, “The truth is that my fascination is rooted in fear” (Grice 60). My fearful fascination isn’t quite to the degree of Grice’s obsession, but it is still there nonetheless.

I have a strange love of watching shark documentaries, which almost always scare me senseless. It has become a way of dealing with my fear, a way of controlling it without actually putting myself in any tangible danger. My unquenchable desire for control and order helps me to keep my fears in check. By keeping up a facade of fearlessness, my mind becomes tricked into thinking that I truly am undaunted by the unknown world around me.

My fear is rooted somewhere within the concept of the un-known. Not knowing what’s near me or what could happen to me terrifies me. The one thing that I do know is the moment when this fear was planted in my subconscious. All of my life, my family has been inclined to vacation in water-associated areas. From lakes, to rivers, to the ocean, the Charles family would vacation to a body of

23CHAPTER 2

water at least once a year for as long as I can remember. My favorite aunt and uncle own a cabin in the Adirondack

Mountains of New York. When I was ten years old, my family and I ventured up to this remote oasis for a week in the summer. On a particularly nice afternoon, we decided to take a day trip to a nearby lake. The beach here was small; it consisted of a single, yet massive, spherical rock. Being the innocent and slight ignorant child that I was at the time, I ignored the advice of my older cousins to be careful of a certain area near the edge of the water. There was a slight dip in the submerged rock here and a forceful current that would certainly drag me out much further than I desired.



I tend to ignore my fear as much as possible. However, this ignorance really only comes into play when I am forced to face it head-on. When I am swimming in an ocean, or even a lake, my brain tells me that I should be afraid. I push this knowledge down into the water that I am afraid of, putting myself as far above my

24 FEAR

fear as possible. Once I am removed from the situation, I become absorbed by my fear. I identify with Grice in this way. He articu-lates his obsession with the black widow spider in an article saying, “The truth is that my fascination is rooted in fear” (Grice 60). My fearful fascination isn’t quite to the degree of Grice’s obsession, but it is still there nonetheless.

I have a strange love of watching shark documentaries, which almost always scare me senseless. It has become a way of dealing with my fear, a way of controlling it without actually putting myself in any tangible danger. My unquenchable desire for control and order helps me to keep my fears in check. By keeping up a facade of fearlessness, my mind becomes tricked into thinking that I truly am undaunted by the unknown world around me.

My fear is rooted somewhere within the concept of the un-known. Not knowing what’s near me or what could happen to me terrifies me. The one thing that I do know is the moment when this fear was planted in my subconscious. All of my life, my family has been inclined to vacation in water-associated areas. From lakes, to rivers, to the ocean, the Charles family would vacation to a body of water at least once a year for as long as I can remember.


I vividly remember a single moment of complete and utter terror as I accidentally came too close to this cavity in the rock. Instantly I was sucked in by the current, shrieking in terror as I gripped at the

25CHAPTER 2

slippery surface of the rock for support that simply was not there. My cousin fortunately grabbed me just in time, pulling me to the security of her arms. Her efforts, while valiant, were too late. The damage had already been done. I had stared into the darkness of water and could never look back.


I tend to ignore my fear as much as possible. However, this ignorance really only comes into play when I am forced to face it head-on. When I am swimming in an ocean, or even a lake, my brain tells me that I should be afraid. I push this knowledge down into the water that I am afraid of, putting myself as far above my fear as possible. Once I am removed from the situation, I become absorbed by my fear. I identify with Grice in this way. He ar-ticulates his obsession with the black widow spider in an article saying, “The truth is that my fascination is rooted in fear” (Grice 60). My fearful fascination isn’t quite to the degree of Grice’s obsession, but it is still there nonetheless.

I have a strange love of watching shark documentaries, which almost always scare me senseless. It has become a way of dealing with my fear, a way of controlling it without actually putting myself in any tangible dan-ger. My unquenchable desire for control and order helps me to keep my fears in check. By

26 FEAR

keeping up a facade of fearlessness, my mind becomes tricked into thinking that I truly am undaunted by the unknown world around me.

My fear is rooted somewhere within the concept of the un-known. Not knowing what’s near me or what could happen to me terrifies me. The one thing that I do know is the moment when this fear was planted in my subconscious. All of my life, my family has been inclined to vacation in water-associated areas. From lakes, to rivers, to the ocean, the Charles family would vacation to a body of water at least once a year for as long as I can remember.



Being so young at the time of this event, my fear was ampli-fied. I quickly associated this fear with any terrifying beasts that lurked beneath murky waters. This included snakes, large fish, and most significantly sharks. Of course my fear was not helped by the incredibly intimidating features possessed by the shark. His

27CHAPTER 2

razor-sharp teeth, the stretched and constant grimace of his mouth, the sporadic and unpredictable movements of the his body. All of these attributes are more than slightly unnerving. When the idea of an abyss is added to the mix, my fear cripples me.

I tend to ignore my fear as much as possible. However, this ignorance really only comes into play when I am forced to face it head-on. When I am swimming in an ocean, or even a lake, my brain tells me that I should be afraid. I push this knowledge down into the water that I am afraid of, putting myself as far above my fear as possible. Once I am removed from the situation, I become absorbed by my fear. I identify with Grice in this way. He articu-lates his obsession with the black widow spider in an article saying, “The truth is that my fascination is rooted in fear” (Grice 60). My fearful fascination isn’t quite to the degree of Grice’s obsession, but it is still there nonetheless.

WORKS CITED

Grice, Gordon. “Caught in the Widow’s Web.” The

Prentice Hall Reader. 7th ed. Ed. George Miller.

Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall, 2004. 59-62.

Print.

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