IS MY CHILD READY FOR

SCHOOL?

SPRING 2011ISSUE 11

PREGNANCY, INFANCY AND EARLY CHILDHOOD

www.essentialchild.com.au

The kids will be OK...

Giinagay from Kulai Preschool

Living with a severe peanut allergy

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1essential child

Essential Child Issue 11, Spring 2011

Editor Sarah Rogers

Early Childhood Consultant & Sub Editor Pauline Pryor Jodie Smith

Creative Director Sam Pryor

Cover Photo Captured with Love Photography www.capturedwithlove.com.au

Contributing Writers Julie Carey Katharine Cook Karen Harris Phillipa Maher Marie McGuire

Advertising enquiries: Sarah Rogers, phone 0410 338 201 ads@essentialchild.com.au

Contact: Phone 02 6656 2109 Fax 02 6656 2131 info@essentialchild.com.au PO Box 1587, Coffs Harbour, NSW, 2450

ABN: 47 491 617 953

Essential Child is published four times a year by Essential Child. No other parties or individuals have any financial interest in this magazine. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form without the written consent of the publisher. Content within this magazine is information only and not necessarily the views of the editor. It does not purport to be a substitute for professional health and parenting advice. Readers are advised to seek a doctor for all medical and health matters. The publisher and authors do not accept any liability whatsoever in respect of an action taken by readers in reliance on the recommendations set out in this magazine. All reasonable efforts have been made to trace copyright holders.

Like, Comment, Share!You can now follow Essential Child on Facebook and Twitter.

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Inside this issue... Issue 11, Spring 2011

Regular FeaturesEditor’s letter 2

Letters to the editor 2

Out of the mouths of babes 2

Recipes Some of our favourite salad combinations 4

We love... Toddler Tints 5

Handy Hints 7

Book Reviews 11

Featured ArticlesLiving with a severe peanut allergy. 4 Karen Harris tells us her story.

Babygoods Market. 7 Recycle, make friends & find bargains with Marie McGuire.

Is my child ready for school? 8 Phillipa Maher offers some guidance for parents.

The kids will be OK... what are you worried about? 10 Katharine Cook

Giinagay from Kulai Preschool. 12 Director Julie Carey reports on this culturally rich early childhood learning centre.

Service Directory. Back Cover Where to go for support and advice.

2 essential child

Letters to the editor. letters@essentialchild.com.au

Out of the mouths of babes.Miss 3 has taken a bit of an interest in the fact that grown-ups have hair in places that she doesn’t. One day, while friends were visiting, she said loudly, “Mummy, I know where Daddies have hair.” Trying not to show how mortified I was, I replied, “Do you, darling?” “Yes,” she shouted, “in their noses!” Sarah, Essential Child

A friend’s daughter, 2, was visiting when she pointed at my wedding photo. “Is that your wedding?” she asked. As her parents were planning their own wedding, I said “yes, and who else is having a wedding soon?” Her eyes widened as she replied excitedly “me and Mummy!” Gen

Our 2 year old daughter insisted we call her ‘Kofta Cricket’. We obliged but wondered where she had heard the name before. A week later we were reading one of her new books and read the line: “Excuse me” coughed a cricket.Sam, Essential Child

DIY

Dear EC I love your do-it-yourself tips. They are not only a lot of fun but are great money saving ideas.

I was especially inspired by your cubby house idea in the last issue. We recently moved house and had a lot of left over moving boxes. Rather than recycling them we decided to reuse them and make a cubby house for our spare room. Miss Six and Miss Four designed the cubby house and we built it together over several weeks. It has become a great

little reading space filled with cushions and books. The only problem now is they love it so much we have to read them their bedtime stories in the cubby!

Kate, Grafton

Creepy friends?

Is it just me, or do other people find the ‘worker friends’ who sing goodnight on Channel 10 each night a bit creepy?

Katrina, via email.

Where do you go for help?

A friend of mine recently had a difficult time with breastfeeding her son. When she sought help she found the support she received didn’t suit her or help the situation, and she didn’t know where else to go. Luckily the child care centre that my child attends has a list of local services, and I was able to pass on some numbers to my friend. But it occurred to us that new parents, and parents who don’t use child care services could do with a directory of child-related services to help find support when things are tough. We were wondering if you could include a list in your magazine?

Jane, Coffs Harbour

Great idea Jane. We have started a Service Directory (see back page) that we’ll put on our website and add to whenever we hear about more services. A copy of “Let’s Party: Additive Free” is on it’s way to you.

Editor’s letter.

Featured Letter

I’m finding it difficult to start this letter without a cliché, because spring is well and truly sprung! After a wild winter, it’s a relief to be opening the doors and windows again, and letting the sunshine in.

As the end of the year approaches, some of you may be thinking about whether your four-year-old is ready to start school next year. We know it can be a difficult decision, so we asked Phillipa Maher, director of Valla Community Preschool to tell us about some of the things you might like to consider. You can read her advice on page 8.

We also have a great article from Julie Carey, director of Kulai Preschool on page 12. Julie tells us about the rich cultural history of the preschool and its strong links with family and community.

And guest writer and Child Psychologist Katharine Cook has written us another insightful article on page 10. This issue she discusses worry and anxiety in parents, a universal topic which I’m sure everybody can relate to at some stage in their lives, to varying degrees.

If you are feeling anxious or depressed, and you need someone to talk to, sometimes the hardest thing is finding where to go for help. That’s why we’ve put together a directory of local services for parents, parents-to-be, families and children. You can find this conveniently located on our back cover this issue. We will put it on our website and add to it regularly. If you are linked to a service, or have found one that was helpful, please let us know and we’ll add it to the directory.

Take care, everyone, and enjoy the sunshine!

Sarah

x Shenyce

3essential child

Start Storytelling! Next issue’s featured letter will win a copy of “Everyday learning about storytelling” by Helen Evans

Email us at letters@essentialchild.com.au or snail mail PO Box 1587, Coffs Harbour, NSW, 2450

3essential child

Captured with Love cover competition

winners! Congratulations Shenyce, Liam &

Ishana. Even though the shoot was at

the Botanical Gardens on a freezing

cold & rainy day, all the kids did a

fantastic job!

Thank you!Laura

We’d like to send out a big thank you to Captured with Love and to everyone who entered. These are all terrific shots and we would love to use them all. Look out for Liam and Ishana on a future cover of Essential Child!

Liam

Ishana

xx

4 essential child

Living with a severe peanut allergy

Repetition Rocks!Recent research from Sussex University in the UK may help you to feel virtuous rather than frustrated next time you are asked to read a book for the umpteenth time!

The study found that reading the same book over and over to children is the best way to develop vocabulary. It is not the number of books that we read to our children but the repetition of each book that leads to greater learning.

While we love the slow-cooked comfort foods of winter here at Essential Child, there’s nothing like the smell of the first jasmine of spring to inspire some lighter meals. One of our favourite dinners in spring is salad. No, not your weight-watching, calorie-missing salad, but delicious layers of flavour with fresh, crunchy leaves and a zesty dressing.

Here are some of our favourite combinations to inspire you.

Chicken and roasted sweet potato with haloumi and mushrooms, cherry tomatoes, cucumber and red onion. Dress with red wine vinegar, olive oil and crushed garlic.

Lightly crumbed or tempura fish pieces, watercress, cucumber, tomato, spring onions. Dress with a lemon or garlic mayonnaise.

Lamb fillet strips, eggplant and pumpkin, chickpeas, fetta. Dress with olive oil, lemon juice and paprika.

Chicken, mango, avocado and toasted pine nuts. Dress with olive oil, lemon juice and wholegrain mustard.

Recipes!I have lived with a life-threatening nut allergy for 38 years. I hoped when I had children I wouldn’t pass this on to them, but unfortunately that is not the case.

My eldest son Kane was two when he first had a severe allergic reaction. Before then, because my allergy is so severe, I’d asked my GP to test Kane, but the response I got was “he’s too young” and “if he did have a reaction then it would only be a mild one and nothing life-threatening.” Well that advice turned out to be seriously wrong.

We were at a family party and my mum saw Kane putting a Pretzel in his mouth. Nothing too serious you might think as they don’t actually contain nuts. But what happened within minutes was the scariest thing I have ever seen, Kane’s eyes, face and throat started to swell at such a rate, it was unbelievable. Fortunately I had some antihistamine on me and managed to get it down his throat and rushed him to the nearest A & E which was only a few minutes away. We got there just in time – another five minutes without administering adrenaline and this could be a very different story.

Kane was very lucky that day. Doctors said that the antihistamine I’d given him had slowed the reaction down just enough to give us the extra couple of minutes that saved his life.

That day, our lives changed forever. That might sound a bit melodramatic, but believe me, Kane’s allergy is that serious. If he eats the tiniest amount of a peanut, it could kill him. Even if he eats something that has been cross contaminated by nuts, he could die. You have probably seen the words “may contain traces” on food items in the

supermarket. Food producers have to put that statement on when a product has been on the same production line as a food item that contained nuts. That product cannot be consumed by someone with a nut allergy as the risk of a nut particle being on that food item is very high. When you think that almost every product we buy has this statement, you can begin to understand how hard it is to keep a child safe.

Going to birthday parties is one of the biggest hurdles. All kids want to do is eat the cakes and lollies and have fun, but when your child has food allergies, they just can’t. I have been in tears more times than I can remember seeing Kane watching his friends eat all the yummy food as he sits there with his own “safe” food that I take. Before each party, I have to ask the parents if they are planning on making anything with nuts in or planning on putting nuts on the table as Kane wouldn’t be able to attend due to cross contamination, not just with food, but through other children touching the nuts and then touching toys etc.

Going to school is another difficulty. When Kane first started school, they still sold peanut butter sandwiches at the canteen. The school was helpful, in as much as they sent letters home to the parents in his class asking that they don’t send in peanut butter sandwiches or anything with nuts in, which is all well and good, but they were still available from the canteen. Eventually, the school took them off the menu and they are now a “nut free” school. However, there are still parents out there who don’t understand the seriousness of these allergies and still insist on sending banned food items to school. If you are one of these parents then I hope I have given you an insight as to why you are asked not to send these food items in.

It’s very hard as a mum sending my child to school, not knowing if he’ll be safe. I have to put my trust in the school and other parents in the hope that they don’t put Kane in a situation that could potentially kill him.

If you would like to read more about these allergies and the daily problems we face I write a blog called nutallergymum.com

Karen Harris

As a mum who has lost more than a few of the suction cap-style car window shades, I was excited to hear about Toddler TintsTM. These fun and practical sunshades actually work and look good in the process!

The fun, bright animal print film is applied to the inside of car windows to protect children from the sun, offering excellent shade (Australian UV protection factor 15+), but are invisible from the outside.

They don’t flap in the wind, children can’t pull them off and they fit perfectly to the window, blocking out harmful rays. [SJR]

We love...

The answer to ugly

car window shades

We have two Toddler Tints to give away. Simply drop by our Facebook page and leave a comment, email us at letters@essentialchild.com.au or write us a note at PO Box 1587, Coffs Harbour, 2450 by the 1st Nov and tell us why you’d like to try the innovative Toddler Tints.

Repetition Rocks!Recent research from Sussex University in the UK may help you to feel virtuous rather than frustrated next time you are asked to read a book for the umpteenth time!

The study found that reading the same book over and over to children is the best way to develop vocabulary. It is not the number of books that we read to our children but the repetition of each book that leads to greater learning.

Repetition Rocks!Recent research from Sussex University in the UK may help you to feel virtuous rather than frustrated next time you are asked to read a book for the umpteenth time!

The study found that reading the same book over and over to children is the best way to develop vocabulary. It is not the number of books that we read to our children but the repetition of each book that leads to greater learning.

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7essential child

•Store left over butter wrappers in the freezer and use to grease pans when baking.

•Doyoufindhairclipsalloverthehouse? A long piece of thick ribbon makes a great hair clip holder. Attach to a shelf with a hook or tie to a cupboard rail.

•Warmth over-ripens tomatoes, so store them with stems pointed down and they will stay fresher for longer.

•Extend on block building activities by adding pens and clipboards. Children can either design their buildings on paper before they start, or draw what they have built when finished.

•Save baby gift boxes...they are great for storing baby singlets, socks and bibs.

•Encourage children to count to 10 when washing their hands. This teaches water conservation and is a great guide to show children how long they should wash for.

•Boredwiththesameoldcraftactivities? Jazz up pen drawings with water colour paint or add wobbly eyes, (available at Woolworths), pipe cleaners and large buttons to playdough.

•The cheapest home brand wool wash is great for hand washing woolen and delicate clothes and even good for linen in the washing machine. Better than even the most expensive wool wash products!

•Forsofter and more absorbent bath towels, use 1/4 of the recommended amount of cheap wool wash plus 2 tablespoons of Bi-Carb Soda, and add 2 tablespoons of vinegar to the fabric softer dispenser. (Thanks to the author of Spotless, Shannon Lush for this one - it really works!)

•Use sticky tape or contact for a no mess collage experience.

Jodie Smith

Make your own iron-on appliques with No Sew Heat ‘n’ Bond Ultrahold

available at Spotlight and includes detailed instructions.

All you need is a plain tee, cotton material, an iron, and buttons to decorate your design. You can create your own silhouette or cut out

a piece of pre-printed material.

Handy hints.Babygoods Market

Forget children’s

designer tees,

design your

own!

Recycle, make friends

& find bargains.

7essential child

“What this area needs is a good baby and children’s market”, said young mum, Angela. So Pregnancy Care Coffs Harbour jumped right in. We did decide we couldn’t really sell babies or children so we inserted “goods” in the title. We booked rooms at Cavanbah Hall, printed some posters to flood pre-schools, community noticeboards etc and waited. Angela started a Facebook page for us, and soon the bookings began to come in.

However, it wasn’t until the beautiful sunny April day dawned and the customers began to arrive that we realised how right Angela had been. Our rooms were so crowded with sellers and buyers that some Pregnancy Care members volunteered to mind prams and their occupants in the adjoining corridor to give mums and dads the chance to browse. There was a tremendous variety of good quality but inexpensive items (as well as some delicious baked goodies supplied by a support group).

We heard many positive comments from happy customers: “How great to get good items at a reasonable price!” “This is so convenient – no trouble with parking.” “I’ve left my partner outside with the kids. This is great”

So popular was this event that a second market is planned for Saturday 15th October in the big hall at Cavenbah, with even more space for displays, room for customers to move around and more flexibility to display larger items. Find us on www.facebook.com/pregnancycare.market

Marie McGuire

8 essential child 8 essential child

Phillipa Maher, Director of Valla Community Preschool is also a consultant trainer for Community Childcare Co-operative. She worked as a Project Officer with the recently concluded NSW Preschool Growth Program, and is well known and respected locally for her many years of teaching Child Studies at TAFE

Starting school is an important step for you and your child. ‘Is my child ready for school?’ is a question asked by many parents of preschool aged children. So how do you decide?

Starting School Facts

In NSW, the school year commences in late January and finishes in mid December. Children must legally be enrolled in school or receive an approved alternative tuition program by their sixth birthday. Your child can start Kindergarten at the beginning of the school year if they turn five on or before 31 July in that year. A child whose birthday falls after this cut-off date starts school the following year. Because there is only one annual intake of students, this means that a new Kindergarten class can range in age from four and a half to six years. This also means that there is likely to be an age difference of 18 months between children in the same class. For some families this age difference raises the issue of school readiness, particularly if they have a choice about whether to send their child to school or wait another year.

School readiness: What does it mean? What does it look like? How do you know?

Ruby turned four in May. She can write her own name, count to 20 and knows her alphabet, but she is hesitant and timid with adults and other children. Jayden turned four in July. He is taller

than the other children but doesn’t separate easily on arrival at preschool. Darcy turns five next January. He is self assured but tantrums when he doesn’t get his own way.

All three of these children can start school next year. Who will be ready? Who will benefit from waiting another year? How do you determine school readiness? Possibly you are wondering the same thing regarding your own preschool aged child.

As a parent there are a number of

approaches that you could take to help you to decide. You could simply go with your instinct - though most parents tend to seek professional advice and/or do some reading and research about school readiness.

One thing to be aware of is that there are a variety of perspectives, research reports and professional opinions available. This is because what might be a right answer for one family may not be so suitable for another. Your decision should be made in light of the positives and negatives about whether to send your child to school, the rights of your child, and the obligations and responsibilities of your family.

Most importantly, you need to make a decision in the context of your own family life. Each family is different, each child within that family is different and there is no set formula to determine whether to send your child to school or not (apart from the legal ‘starting school age’ requirements). School readiness is never determined by one single factor but by the links between the individual child, family context and the future educational setting.

Many parents struggle with the decision about whether to send their child to school. They turn to early childhood educators, schools, health professionals and other parents for advice. Whilst there is no simple answer, it’s generally agreed that children must be socially and emotionally mature enough to cope with the extra demands of school, regardless of their age.

...it’s generally agreed that children must be socially and emotionally mature enough to cope with the extra demands of school, regardless of their age.

Is my child ready for school? What do I need to consider?Phillipa Maher offers some guidance for parents facing this decision

9essential child

What do we mean by ‘mature enough’?

The maturity level of your child is very important. Maturity for a preschooler does not mean being able to recognise and recite the alphabet, know colours, shapes and numbers, or to count to twenty and beyond. In fact these skills develop and are taught at school, and although useful, are not necessarily a priority for school readiness.

To have the maturity for school means to enter school ready to thrive and enjoy the challenges. It means being able to separate easily from a parent, and being interested and positive about going to school. It means being independent, having self help skills, being cooperative, being able to be assertive, able to deal with change, conflict and frustration. Does this sound like your child?

Variations in the age of school readiness are no different to variations in the age of learning to crawl or learning to walk. While some children will have the maturity to start school at four and a half, others will not. This is simply because each child develops and matures at a different rate, and many will undergo huge changes between now and

next February.

Kathy Walker, lecturer in Education at RMIT University and author of the book What’s the Hurry, says “Starting school, part of being educated, is a journey that needs special preparation, care, and a wonderful time where children can make the most of the opportunities. We want children to be happy, to have a high sense of self worth and enjoyment. Life and education is not a race to be won, but a journey of discovery, mastery, exploration and fulfilment.” She also believes that it is better to go to school too late rather than too early, particularly in Australia which has one of the world’s youngest starting ages.

Bob Perry and Sue Dockett from Charles Sturt University, and co-authors of Our Family is Starting School, believe that successful adjustment to school partly depends on past experiences and on children possessing the skills and knowledge to respond to the demands of the school setting.

Consider family situation and expectations of individual schools

Consider your family situation when making a decision. This may include: family structure and family work patterns; your child’s familiarity with school; how far your child will have to travel to get to school; how your child will get to school; and whether your child has older siblings who are already at school. These things can make a big difference when combined with your assessment of your child’s maturity level.

Dr Kay Margetts, a lecturer in primary and early childhood education at the University of Melbourne, who has researched the transition to school, says that school is not just about reading and writing.

“School is about - interacting with others and considering their needs; cooperation; controlling responses; and behaving in an appropriate way. It’s about moving from a friendly environment at preschool or home to one where the adult : child ratio is very different,’’ she says.

Consider the school you might choose for your child. Schools vary in size, structure and expectations. They also vary in the way they approach curriculum and learning. Make sure you visit the school and ask lots of questions! This may help you to better

determine the school’s readiness for your child. Many schools have transition to Kindergarten programs over several weeks in the second part of the year. Find out what transition programs the school offers, and what expectations the school has regarding Kindergarten children when they start school. This can further help you to decide about whether your child is ready for starting school.

and finally...

Kathy Walker suggests that if you are unsure, then it is wise to consider the possible benefits of providing an additional consolidation year of skills, maturity and life as a child. She says, “A young child requires time to develop, play, create, wonder and enjoy in a relatively stress free environment in

their early years of life. Many children will benefit in relation to their general well being, self esteem, attitudes toward school and belief about themselves as a learner if they move into school without the question mark, without just coping or not just coping, but being able to have a solid and rich childhood of play as a foundation for moving into school with more life experience, maturity and early learning.”

Phillipa Maher

For further information:

Department of Education and Communities – starting school information: http://www.schools.nsw.edu.au/gotoschool/primary/startingschool.php

Dockett,S. And Perry, B. (2006) Our family is starting school: A handbook for parents and carers. Pademelon Press

Early Life Foundations (including Kathy Walker and Associates): www.earlylife.com.au

Early Childhood Australia – school readiness resources: www.earlychildhoodaustralia.org.au

References:

Department of Education and Communities http://www.schools.nsw.edu.au/gotoschool/primary/startingschool.php

Dockett,S. And Perry, B. (2006) Our family is starting school: A handbook for parents and carers. Pademelon Press

Walker,K. (2009) Starting school: The debate continues. No, it’s not about just coping; it’s about having the time of your life!!! www.earlylife.com.au

Walker,K. (2009) School Readiness. Ready or not? www.earlylife.com.au

Children may be ready

for starting school

when they can:-

• Separateeasilyfromyou

• Copewithchangesorwhen

minor things go wrong.

• Solvesimpleproblemsontheir

own.

• Talkconfidentlytoadults,

ask for help and express their

feelings.

• Manageandlookaftertheir

own belongings.

• Usethebathroom

independently.

• Initiatecontactwithother

children.

• Respectothers’toysandgames,

and share their own.

• Havefriendsandcanmake

friends.

• Havereasonablecontrolover

their behaviour and emotions.

• Followinstructionsandsimple

rules.

• Playagroupgameorlistentoa

story for about 10-15 minutes.

• Tackleneworchallengingtasks.

• Demonstrateconfidencein

their own ability.

• Independentlymanageto

dress/undress (including shoes),

open a schoolbag, lunchbox

and lunch wrappers, and use

pencils and scissors.

A young child requires time to develop, play, create, wonder and enjoy in a relatively stress free environment in their early years of life.

10 essential child

Someone once said to me that a life of worry and anxiety really begins when you have a baby. In fact, the worry probably begins the moment you decide that you want a baby. “Will I be able to fall pregnant? How long will it take? If I do get pregnant, will the baby be healthy? Can I have a glass of wine? Will I hurt the baby if I eat that salad/pizza/cheese?” Then... “If I have a baby, will I be a terrible parent? Will I do things that scar my child for life? Will I do as bad job at raising my child as I did with training my dog?”

With all these concerns, it is a wonder anyone actually takes the plunge to have children. There are so many experts preaching what is right and what is wrong. Most books and internet sites, it seems, are “how to” guides, which often serve to make parents feel that they are doing something disastrously wrong.

Reading a book on “helping” get your baby to sleep, made me quiver with terror. Gees, I didn’t put my baby down to sleep at 7pm on the dot. It’s now too late for that....and oops, I missed that “tired sign” 45 minutes ago. Clearly my baby will have sleep problems for life. Imagine if anyone found out that I breastfed my baby to sleep every night and I give her a dummy....

And then there are the toddler books. Feed them this, make sure they drink that. Put them in childcare, don’t put them in childcare. Praise them, but not too much. Use time out, but don’t call it a “naughty corner”....errrrg....why is it so hard?

The reality is, children are all individuals and parents do things differently. What works for Trish, just does not seem to work for Penny. And that’s OK. Why do we spend so much time comparing ourselves to others....and what affect is this having on our health?

I am an advocate for new parents connecting with other new parents but I know how anxiety provoking some social situations can be when you are at your most vulnerable. When people, who are new to the parenting thing, get together to talk, it is highly likely that most of them are feeling somewhat insecure. Previously “together” women (or men),

who held down jobs and looked after their finances and schedules, are now at the mercy of a tiny human who cannot be “worked out”, who does not run to a schedule and is draining the adult of energy and sleep. When feeling unsure and insecure it is human nature to want to find someone who is doing worse, to make yourself feel better. Has your child smiled yet? Are you not breastfeeding? Did you baby sleep through the night at 4 weeks old? Are you using a dummy...mmmmm? It is not surprising that many parents feel like they are doing everything wrong.

So what’s wrong with worry? A bit of worry and anxiety serves a purpose and is a normal part of human life. Anxiety alerts us to problems and prompts us to figure out solutions. It occurs when there are significant changes in life, like changing jobs or having a baby. It is completely normal to worry about things when you are a new parent, but how can you tell if your anxiety goes beyond what is normal?

Many new parents will develop mental health problems within the first year of their child’s life, many remaining undiagnosed and untreated. And the number of new parents who have mental health issues seem to be on the increase. It appears that our generation is doing it much tougher than our parents. Perhaps this is due to our generation’s access to information and our propensity to “google” everything and self diagnose. Perhaps more information makes it easier to feel that we are doing something wrong or to make things worse than they are. Maybe more information means that we don’t listen and believe our gut instincts like our parents or grandparents did.

In Australia there has been a huge increase in awareness of Post Natal Depression, but it seems that Anxiety disorders may actually be more prevalent and equally as damaging to new parents.

So what does an anxiety disorder look like? There are many symptoms that probably need expert attention if they are part of your life for an extended time (over 6 months) and start impacting on your capacity to function. Things like inability to stop worrying, insomnia, muscle tension, heart racing, sweatiness,

intense fear, being uncomfortable in social situations, feeling wound up, irritability, repetitive acts and compulsions. These symptoms can be terribly debilitating and without expert help, it is very difficult to change on your own. And not wanting to add to the bad news, undiagnosed and untreated anxiety disorders are likely to have a negative impact on your relationship with your child and often lead to children developing their own anxiety disorders.

And for the majority of parents who are reading this article, and who worry too much, but are not experiencing the symptoms listed above, there are some important issues to consider. If you do not have a mental health issue, and are just a “worrier ” then consider what purpose your anxiety serves. It is OK to have some anxiety when life poses challenges, but to allow this level of stress to become a normal part of life is not good for anyone. If your child is healthy and is loved and cared for, then worrying about trivial issues, or “thinking the worst” is not going to help you or your child. Sure it is important to see a doctor if your child has a rash, but do you really need to worry about the worst case scenario if they have a sniffle?

The kids will be OK... what are you worried about?By Katharine CookKatharine Cook is a Child and Family Psychologist who works with people to manage complex issues and solve problems creatively.

11essential child

Book R

eviews.

Maudie and BearBy Jan Ormerod

Illustrated by Freya Blackwood

Little Hare Books

Ages 2-4 years

Maudie and Bear has been judged Early Childhood Book of the Year 2011 by The Children’s Book Council of Australia.

‘Bear!’ said Maudie. ‘Do not go to sleep while I am telling you a story.’ ‘I am not asleep,’ said Bear. ‘I am listening with my eyes shut.’

Maudie is demanding...but Bear has unconditional love and patience. In fact, according to the caption on the back cover, love is inexhaustible!

Maudie and Bear consists of five mini-stories which can be read separately or all together.

•TheBikeRide•HomeSweetHome•TheSnack•MakingUp&•TellingStories

The stories are delightfully simple and explore many themes that parent and child can both relate to including misunderstandings, making up, friendship and love.

Featuring Freya Blackwood’s whimsical illustrations, this is a picture book full of nostalgia. It has an old fashioned feel remnant of a classic picture book with a framed illustration as the front cover and a red ribbon book mark inside.

An enchanting read that will delight parent and child alike.

Jodie Smith

The Tall Man and the Twelve BabiesBy Tom Niland Champion & Kilmeny Niland

Illustrated by Deborah Niland

Allen & Unwin

Ages 2½-6 yrs

In a big, big city, in a tiny, tiny apartment, lived a tall, tall man and twelve babies. All the boys were called Alistair. All the girls were called Charlene.

One day the door slams shut ... with the Charlenes on one side and the Alistairs on the other. What will the tall man do?

From a much-loved family team, this amusing and delightful story provides wonderful opportunities to talk with children about feelings, families and emergencies. Happily, the tall man did what everyone should do in an emergency: he called for help. The twelve babies didn’t listen at first, but eventually they helped to solve the problem.

The comical nature of the story is echoed in the cartoon-style drawings. Children will love counting the babies and roar with laughter at the idea of entering the apartment through the cat flap – although be careful, it might put ideas into your young one’s head!

The Tall Man and the Twelve Babies received an Honour award in the Early Childhood category in this year’s Book Week awards. It certainly gets my vote!

[PJP]

And so what if your child doesn’t eat dinner three days in a row- no child will die of starvation if they miss the odd meal, or don’t eat their veggies. And who cares that your toddler isn’t toilet trained by 2? They will get it eventually. And so what if your child hasn’t crawled by 10 months old while everyone else’s child at mother’s group is racing around?

If meal times or bath times cause you so much worry and stress, that you end up in a shouting and crying match every evening, then something needs to change. As the adult we have the ability to take a breath, and think about whether a change in the situation may make things easier for everyone. If the adults at home are stressed constantly, this will have an impact on how relaxed your child feels. And often, if a child feels like something is wrong, their behaviour will change for the worse.

So how can you stop worrying? Firstly, start being more conscious of what you are worried about. Write your worries down in a notebook for a week, and prioritise what is important to worry about, and what you don’t have to stress about. Relax, take time to do something you enjoy, every day. Learn some relaxation techniques, even if you spend one minute breathing slowly, this may help to clear your head of negative thoughts. Be aware of catastrophising- try hard not to think of the worst case outcome and concentrate on the hurdle or issue that is presenting itself immediately. Take baby steps- solving problems takes time, and is a slow and steady process. Stop comparing yourself to others, especially when it isn’t a fair comparison- Miranda Kerr’s baby body just isn’t a realistic option for anyone! Stop comparing your child to other children, celebrate their differences, rather than trying to live up to some benchmark you have created yourself. Start listening to your instincts, if you don’t think something is good for you or your child, that’s OK. Ask advice from real experts, like early childhood health and education staff, GPs and psychologists, and disregard unhelpful commentary from your neighbour, Today Tonight or your mother-in-law.

Finally, and most importantly, remember that no one is perfect, so attempting to be is a totally futile pursuit. If you try your best to watch, listen and learn from your child, think about how they are feeling, consider what they need to be happy and healthy, then you are very likely doing a pretty good job. There’s really nothing more than that for you to worry about!

Katharine Cook Does your child have a favourite book?

Tell us about it on Facebook in 25 words or less by the 1st Nov for a chance to win a gift voucher (value $16) from Pages Bookshop, Shop 27 Park Beach Plaza (opposite Big W)

Facebook comp!

Giinagay (hello) is what you hear when children arrive each day at Kulai Preschool. Kulai provides an educationally and culturally rich and caring environment. The building, shaped to represent an echidna, is welcoming and inspiring for children, families and staff. A stunning curved ridge beam, supported by three natural timber poles, links a series of rounded, flowing spaces with flooring in colours that represent where the earth and sea meet.

The preschool aims to foster and respect each child’s (and their family’s) Aboriginal heritage and culture. The staff provide role models that present a significant focus on Aboriginal cultural perspectives as integral to the learning program. Children are encouraged to become socially independent beings with a positive self-image, empathetic to the needs of others and our diverse environment. While we focus on the young Aboriginal children of our community, we welcome non-Aboriginal children as well.

The preschool bus is vital in ensuring all children can attend regularly. An added bonus is that staff and children have an opportunity to see where they each live.

Each year Kulai and Coffs Harbour Preschool alternate visits for a play and to share each others preschool environment. The children and staff

have morning tea together, giving staff an opportunity to network. This year we also had visits from Happy Days Preschool and Gummyaney Aboriginal Preschool in Grafton.

The preschool has a nutrition educator to ensure a nutrition program is provided for the children while they attend preschool. The children are encouraged to assist in caring for the preschool’s vegetable garden and selecting foods to use in preparing meals and snacks. Morning tea, lunch and an afternoon snack are provided each day.

Family & Community Family and community expectations and circumstances are embraced by the preschool. We encourage involvement in all aspects of the preschool including management, planning and programming. Open days are held each term when we provide a BBQ lunch and invite guest speakers to come along to talk about health and educational issues. The bus helps families with access to these events.

When we celebrate NAIDOC, the families are involved in cooking and sharing traditional bush tucker. A large slide show of the children participating in learning experiences throughout the term is shown to parents throughout the day. This is also a time for extended family members to witness the children’s achievements and catch up for a yarn with staff and other families.

During term four the parents join children and staff in transition-to-school activities with primary schools in the local area. The preschool bus is also utilised to attend these sessions.

The local Coffs Harbour Aboriginal Interagency Committee invites the preschool children to be involved in the local NAIDOC dinner showcasing

their art work on the dinner tables. Throughout the evening a slide show with photos of the children participating in the process of making the table decorations at Kulai Preschool is viewed by the guests, parents and extended family members.

This year local radio station CHYFM included a live broadcast from Kulai at our NAIDOC celebration as part of their Speaking our Lingo program. In September the radio station will be returning to record the children singing in the local Gumbaynggirr language. The local Aboriginal youth have been also involved in the radio station having time to speak on air, and prior to the segment going to air the youth have been attending workshops on how to engage the listeners.

Often the preschool is invited to be part of opening ceremonies at other Aboriginal organisations’ conferences and seminars. The children perform songs in the Gumbaynggirr language and act out a traditional dolphin story told by local elder Auntie Marie Edwards. With permission from the elders we have adapted the story into a preschool book, with photos of a preschool family in the with grandparents. Grandfather and local Aboriginal artist Tony Hart did the art work. The parents and staff worked together at working bees to make the costumes and props for the dolphin story play and for a dramatization of another Dreamtime story, ‘How The Birds Got Their Colours’.

The preschool is an important part of the Aboriginal community for our families and community members who continue to share lots of wonderful memories and learning experiences over a very long period of time.

Yaarri yarraang (good bye).

Julie Carey

12 essential child

Giinagay from Kulai Preschool.

The preschool is an important part of the Aboriginal community.

Director Julie Carey reports

on this culturally rich early

childhood learning centre.

13essential child

Home Based childcare!• A safe, secure and stimulating

home environment with small groups of up to five children.

• Flexible hours matched to individual family needs.

• Your child benefits by having the same carer, every day.

• Mixed ages create a unique learning environment

Ph: 6652 7819 ‘The Cottage’ 2 Peterson Rd, Coffs HarbourEmail: admin@coffsfdc.org.auwww.coffsfdc.org.auAccredited by NCAC, licensed by Departments of Community Services, with qualified staff supporting carers and children.

In 1961 the Save The Children Fund with the local Aboriginal community set up the first Aboriginal preschool in NSW. The preschool was located on the local Aboriginal reserve Wongala Estate, near Park Beach Plaza, which back in the 1960s was considered to be out of town. In 1989 the preschool formed a committee of parents and local community members to manage the preschool independently. After many meetings and thoughts on a new name the treasurer who was originally from Mount Isa (Kalkadoon land) but married to a local Gumbaynggirr man suggested Kulai which means echidna in Kalkadoon country.

The preschool has grown significantly over the years. In 2000 the preschool had extensions added to the existing building. The architects worked closely with the local Aboriginal community to determine what people felt would be a place that gave a sense of shelter and security and a cultural learning environment that would be welcoming and inspiring for children, families and staff.

With the increase in families moving to the Coffs Harbour area there was a need to increase the licensed numbers from 25 to now being 39 places a day. The places are always filled and last year we had a total of 88 Aboriginal children access the centre. Kulai has a total of twelve staff, six are full time with three staff in each room. Some staff work in the playroom for two days a week. We also have a bus driver, a bus supervisor, an administrative assistant, a cook and a cleaner.

Kulai Preschool has a long history of providing preschool education in Coffs Harbour.

Service Directory.Unless you are connected to an early childhood service,

knowing where to go for support and advice can be difficult

for parents.

We hope this list of support agencies will help. It is by no means exhaustive but we’ll put it on our website and add to it as we receive further information. So please let us know about other services that you have found useful, or those to which you are connected. While we have made all efforts to check the accuracy and currency of these details, please also let us know of any errors or changes to the contact details.

Note: Medicare benefits may be paid for approved services such as occupational therapists, psychologists, speech pathologists, dieticians, and more under an Enhanced Primary Care (EPC) plan. Ask your GP

CounsellingInterrelate 6651 1010

Lifeline 131114

Beyondblue 1300 224 636

Primary Health 6659 1424

National Association for Loss and Grief 6648 3675

Stepfamilies Australia – Interrelate 6651 0101

Pregnancy & BabiesChild and Family Health Nursing 6652 3503 Support for families throughout pregnancy and following the birth of their baby

Pregnancy Care Coffs Harbour 6658 1994 Telephone and face-to-face counselling, as well as material and general support, during pregnancy

Australian Breastfeeding Association Local group 6654 3957 (Mandy) www.coffsaba.com.au Breastfeeding Helpline 1800 686 268 www.breastfeeding.asn.au Email counselling also available.

Tresillian Helpline 1800 637 357 Available any time of day or night for advice on any aspect of caring for babies and young children up to 5 years

Child development & health

Early Childhood Intervention Program 6652 8080 Education and therapy programs for children 0-6 years with disabilities / developmental delay.

Open Arms Care 6655 2323 Services for children and families in Bellingen and Nambucca, including children with additional needs

Primary Health Services (Coffs Harbour Health Campus) 6656 7200Child and Family Counselling AudiometryOccupational Therapy (children)Speech Pathology (children)Genetics Counselling (for concerns about inherited disorders, pregnancy in mid-thirties or older, testing during pregnancy)Child Birth and Early Parenting (preparation for pregnancy, birth and early parenting)Child and Family Health Nursing (a support service for parents/carers with children 0-5 years, including home visits before and after birth of a baby)Before School ScreeningAsthma Educator

Northcott 6651 2366 Offers information, referrals and support if you just have concerns about a child, or if your child had a diagnosed disability and you need help accessing services.

Brighter Futures (Uniting Care Burnside) 6659 2800 Provides support and services for families struggling with lack of support, domestic violence, mental health issues, learning difficulties, children with challenging behaviours.

Occupational Therapy: Anne Crane 6652 8080 Wa-Eeda Brough 6652 9006

Speech Pathology: Heather Reid 0417 623 866 Rachel Kilbourne 0413 440 457

Irlen dyslexia clinic 6658 8088

Kinesiology: Lesley Kennedy 6654 9557, 0409 549 489

Services for WomenCoffs Harbour Women’s Resource and Information Centre 6652 9944 Provides information and referrals for housing, law, domestic violence counselling, housing and more.

Warrina Refuge 6652 4000 Provides short-term crisis accommodation for women and children escaping domestic violence.

Coffs Harbour Women’s Health Centre 6652 8111

Galambila Aboriginal Women’s Health Clinic 6652 0800

Pregnancy and Beyond Physiotherapy Megan Kelly 0437 175 055

Services for MenMen in Families (Uniting Care Burnside) 6659 2800 Supports men in their role as parents and partners, including support for first-time fathers

Dads in Distress 6652 8113, 1300 853 437 Support service for fathers separated from families

Men’s Helpline 1300 789 987

GeneralAbcare Coffs Harbour 6648 3680 Aboriginal foster care support and social support for elders

Playgroup Association of NSW 9604 5513 Find a playgroup in your area that suits your needs

Raising Children Network www.raisingchildren.net.au for a comprehensive range of information from how to change a nappy to sibling fighting and cyberbullying.