ei handouts

8/12/2019 EI Handouts

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LeadershLeadershi

EmotioEmotioIntelligeIntellige

Adam L. CulleyAdam L. Culley

adam_culley@nadam_culley@n


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Leadership Defined

A leader is not necessarily a personwho holds some formal position ofleadership or who is perceived as a

leader by others. Rather, a leader is onewho is able to affect positive change for

the betterment of others, the community,and society. All people, in other words,

are potential leaders. Moreover, theprocess of leadership cannot bedescribed simply in terms of the

behavior of an individual; ratherleadership involves collaborativerelationships that lead to collective

action grounded in the shared values ofpeople who work together to affect

positive change.- UCLA Higher Education Research Institute


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Leadership

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CORE SKILLS

Knowing YourselfRecognizing your emotions

Differentiating between emotionsKnowing the reason behind the emotion

Maintaining ControlResisting or delaying an impulse, drive or temptation to actControlling aggression, hostility and irresponsible behaviorManaging emotions in a flexible and adaptable way

Reading OthersBeing aware of the emotions of others

Appreciating the emotions of othersUnderstanding how and why people feel and act as they do

Perceiving AccuratelyAccurately assessing a situationHaving a clear visionKeeping a broad perspective and being objective

Communicating with Flexibility

Having a full range of emotional expressionBeing authenticAddressing your needs as well as the needs of others

Source: "The Handbook of Emotionally Intelligent Leadership: Inspiring Others to Achieve Results" by Daniel A. Feldman, PH.D.

CoreSkills

Effective IndividualContribution


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HIGHER ORDER SKILLS

Taking ResponsibilityActing independently and with accountability

Taking ownership of a problem as well as a solution

Generating ChoicesOpening ourselves to the varied possibilities in any given thought,act, or situationDiscovering the available choices in any given situation and to helpothers recognize those choices.

Embracing a VisionFully committing ourselves to a particular view of the future

Having a vision that permeates our communications and guides ouractions

Having CourageLooking at our choices and ourselvesTaking responsibilityBucking trends and standard modes of operationMaking tough decisions

Demonstrating ResolveRegularly making decisions about what to do, with firm determinationDemonstrating to others your commitment to a plan of action

Core Skills

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EffectiveLeadership



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Enhancing the Core Skills

Below are clear and simple tools for activating our emotional intelligence and strengthening the fivecore skills.

The PaRC FormulaWe can "park" and put into neutral our automatic reactions to situations and make a moredeliberate, contemplative response.

1. Pausebefore reacting.Suspend action temporarily.Allow yourself to be deliberate.

2. Reflecton the "what" and "why" of the feelingsIdentify the emotion in yourself or others.Understand the "why" behind the emotion.

3. Choosethe appropriate thought or actionAct with the knowledge of your reflection.

Think or act in a way that makes the situation work.

Core ConnectingCore connecting is a way to regain our composure, focus and energy when we are sidetracked ordistracted and reconnect with our inner foundation.

1. Take 3 slow, d eepbreathsAs you breathe, focus on the air as it flows in and out.

2. Become aware of the nextthought that pops up in your head.It doesn't matter what the thought is.

3. Say to yourself, "I am having a thought about...(restate the thought)."

4. Take 3 more slow, deep breaths.

Syncing-InSyncing-in is a technique that improves performance by heightening our awareness of a situationand helping us to respond at an intuitive level.

1. Have a beginner's mindClear your mind of preconceptions and pre-judgments.

2. Focus fully on your immediate experienceStay alert, tune into your body, attend to your senses, and be completely present.

3. Continually re-engage in what you are doing

Keep bringing your attention back to what's at hand.


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Enhancing the Core Skillscont.

Focused ListeningPaying concentrated attention to what someone is saying. Let go of your personal agenda andchoose to focus on theirs. Remember, listening is different from agreeing.

1. Expand your receptionBe open to picking up all possible information.Be aware of subtle shades of meaning being expressed.

2. Step into the other person's shoesImagine yourself in the other person's place.Think about how they must feel about what they are describing.

3. Dig deeper into the messageUse your extra thinking time to hypothesize about the core message of what's beingcommunicated.Anticipate where they might be going next.

Re-FramingShifting our focus from a limiting image of how the world works to a more inclusive one. Askdifferent types of questions to come up with a new meaning to a situation.

1. Identify your current frameOut loud or in writing, make a succinct statement describing your current framework of thesituation. Ask yourself, "How does this frame limit me? Where does this frame lead me?"

2. Look into the futureWhat might a desired future look, sound and feel like? What would thissituation/task/experience look like if it were to end successfully?

3. Explore new frames

How might this situation be an opportunity? What's the flip side to the negative aspects ofthis situation/task/experience? How would an unbiased observer describe this situation?

Process CommunicationLooking at what is usually important but may be unspoken

1. Pay attention to body languageThis includes the tone or volume of the voice, facial gestures, posture, and hand gestures.Much of our emotional communication is nonverbal,

2. Identify what is happening, not what is being discussedThis usually involves the emotions around the interaction.

3. Make a clear, non-attacking process comment

Be specific and descriptive.


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Enhancing the Higher Order Skills

Responsibility ChecklistTo build a framework for taking responsibility, we can ask ourselves questions about our actions.

1. Am I making a contribution?

2. Am I fully accepting the consequences of the actions I've taken?3. In light of my peer's reactions, is what I am doing discouraging them or uplifting

them?4. Based on my actions thus far, whom am I serving?

Choice BuildingWhen under demand, our tendency is to reach a quick resolution to a problem. Often, this leads toconsidering only a small range of choices. Here are some steps to generate choices.

1. Let goLet go of the need to be recognized as always being right.

Let go of having the only valid solution.Let go of the need to control.

2. Actively solicit choices from othersTry not to criticize failure or unfamiliar ideas.

3. Invite ideas from outside your current experiences and cultureExamine ideas even though they seem silly or incongruous at face value.

Vision LinkingA vision can weave throughout our daily life and become a part of us. To achieve this, we need tokeep remembering the vision. This maintains focus on our goal and creates a foundation for all ourefforts.

1. Select a vision that you can willingly and actively embrace2. Use metaphors to make your vision more accessible to others

Create vivid images that represent your vision.3. Own it and live it

Show that you care about reaching that vision.4. Incorporate the vision into your daily speech

Firming UpDemonstrating resolve involves sustaining effort through continual recommitment. We can keepfinding new ways to get things done.

1. Choose reachable and worthwhile long-term goalsThese should be in line with your core values.

2. Build in short-term targetsThis allows for a series of successes as you move toward your long-term goal.

3. Develop a support network for your intentionFind people who can get behind the vision so that the vision grows.

4. Anticipate and prepare for difficulties and obstaclesPlan for the unexpected.

5. Continually renew your resolutions


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