effective communication styles
TRANSCRIPT
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COMMUNICATION FOR THE
21st
CENTURY
PRESENTED BY:
WOODROW LUCAS
PHD Student in Management2007 Graduate of Vanderbilt in Business and Divinity.Licensed Lay Minister Since 1998.
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SOME MAJOR WAYS TOCOMMUNICATE
1. ACTION
2. WORDS3. BODY LANGUAGE
****Today we will be focusingon Words.
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SOME SCRIPTURES ABOUTEFFECTIVE VERBAL
COMMUNICATIONProverbs 15:1A soft answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs upanger.
Proverbs 25:15With patience a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tonguecan break bones.Proverbs 15:23
To make an apt answer is a joy to anyone, and a word indue season, how good it is!!Proverbs 18:21Death and Life are in the power of the tongue, and those
who love it will eat its fruits.
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INTRODUCTION Leaders, Subordinates, and Peers need to effectively
communicate in order to engender productive, efficient,godly, and pro-social behavior from themselves andothers.
Unfortunately, the preponderance of communication
in American Culture is so negative and destructiverather than constructive that people often findthemselves with disempowered and disgruntledchildren, employees, bosses, and peers in a state ofconfusion and complete ignorance to the role that they
played in this scenario.
This Seminar enumerates just 3 of thousands of 21st Century premises and techniques for effectivecommunication.
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THE PURPOSE OF THISPRESENTATION
To restate common senseunderstandings of communication askindness, consideration, encouragement,
affirmation, assertion, and forgiveness, in acategorized format which will hopefullyreinforce actual IMPLEMENTATION rather
than just KNOWLEDGE.
To introduce you to the thoughts and
opinions of some thinkers and scholars that
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PRESENTATION DOES NOT
ENDEAVOR TO DO Introduce you to a bunch of concepts andideas which you will view as totally new or
foreign. (This presentation is not meant tointroduce that much new material, as muchas it is meant to illuminate known conceptswith greater clarity.)
Take the place of your own biblical,
experiential, and scholarly research into
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I. A
LANGUAGE OF
BECOMING
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Biblical Support for Major
PremisesEphesians 2:8-10
For by grace are you saved through faith, andthis is not of your doing, it is the gift of God. Not
the result of works so that no one may boast.For we are what he has made us, created inChrist Jesus for good works, which God preparedbeforehand to be our way of life.
In other words, Identity is a function of the loveof God, not our works. Our identity does notcome from what we do, but rather what Christhas destined us to be. What we do is anextension of who we are. Who we are is not a
function of what we do. As a leader or mentor orsubordinate, or eer, we want to create s ace for
I. A Language ofBecoming
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Biblical Support for Major
PremisesJohn 1: 12
But to all who received him, who
believed in his name, he gave power tobecome children of God, who were born,not of blood, or of the will of the flesh, orof the will of man, but of GOD!!!!
In other words, we are in a constantstate of becoming more like Christ. Soto the extent that we can encourage
each other to be in a constant state ofbecoming or repentance rather than in
I. A Language ofBecoming
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MORE SPECIFICALLY: ENTITYVERSUS INCREMENTAL
PERSPECTIVES ON PERFORMANCE Carol Dweck elucidates two views ofintelligence, capacity, or ability which anindividual can possess, an entity perspective
and an incremental perspective (Dweck,2008). An entity perspective usual leads tostagnancy, failure, and defeat whereas anincremental perspective usually leads toprogress, success, and victory. The determiningcharacteristic which distinguishes an entityperspective from an incremental perspective is
self esteem. Individuals with LOW SELF ESTEEMusuall maintain AN ENTITY PERSPECTIVE
I. A Language ofBecoming
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CHARACTERISTICS OF ENTITYVERSUS INCREMENTAL
I. A Language ofBecoming
ENTITY INCREMENTAL
LOW SELF ESTEEM HIGH SELF ESTEEM
CAPACITY AND INTELLIGENCE ARE FIXED AND CANT
IMPROVE
CAPACITY AND INTELLIGENCE CAN IMPROVE AS A
FUNCTION OF GRACE, FAITH, AND EFFORT
COMPARES ONES CAPACITY WITH OTHERS TO GET ASENSE OF WORTH, VALUE, AND PERFORMANCE
CAPABILITY.
(WORKS ORIENTED RIGHTEOUSNESS)
BASES A SENSE OF ONES CAPACITY IN THE POSSIBILITYOF CHRIST AND SO DOES NOT COMPARE WITH OTHERS
TO GET A SENSE OF POTENTIAL OR POSSIBILITY.
(GRACE ORIENTED RIGHTEOUSNESS)
A BELIEF THAT FAILURE IS FINAL AND REFLECTS A LACK
OF ABILITY OR CAPACITY.
A BELIEF THAT FAILURE IS A LEARNING EXPERIENCE.
A TENDENCY TO VIEW EXERTION OF EFFORT AS
EVIDENCE OF DEFICIENT CAPACITY.
A TENDENCY TO THINK THAT INCREASED EXERTION OF
EFFORT WILL LEAD TO IMPROVED INTELLIGENCE.
A TENDENCY TO DEAL WITH CRITICISM WITH
DEFENSIVENESS
A TENDENCY TO VIEW CRITICISM AS AN OPPORTUNITY
FOR IMPROVEMENT.
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WHEN YOU KNOW THAT YOUARE ALWAYS BECOMING,
THEN YOUR CAPACITY ISINFINITE!
I. A Language ofBecoming
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HOW ENTITY VERSUSINCREMENTAL
PERSPECTIVIES RELATE TOCOMMUNICATION?The role of an effective leader, subordinate, or peer is to help other
individuals to operate in an incremental rather than entity sense of self andproductivity. Some ways in which to do this are:
1. Generally Affirming People. For instance, telling a person that they arecompassionate, empathic, intelligent, or powerful.
2. Specifically Affirming individuals for what they bring to a scenario. Forinstance in addition to telling someone that they are brilliant or capable,telling them that their gifts of administration, organization, insight, anddiligence cause them to be a valued addition to a given team.
3. Offering constructive rather than destructive criticism. Constructivecriticism, criticizes specific dimensions of performance, like you did this well,you did this poorly. Whereas destructive criticism criticizes the entireperson ad hominem (For instance, saying things like you are a bad person oryou are a lazy employee.
(MORAL OF THIS STORY?!!! ONE SHOULD ALWAYS BUILD UP RATHER THAN
I. A Language ofBecoming
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II. NONVIOLENT
COMMUNICATIONIN THE FACE OF
CONFLICT
II N i l C i i
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Fear of Conflict Fear of Conflict Stems from among other
things the belief that the presence of conflictequates to the absence of love.
But Jesus was the living personification ofGods love and he states in Matthew 10:34:I came not to bring peace to the earth: I have notcome to bring peace, but a sword.
This reflects the fact that confrontation andconflict are often necessary to bring abouttrue peace, rather than FALSE peace which isoften characterized by silent tyranny and
II. Nonviolent Communication
II N i l t C i ti
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Marshall RosenburgMarshall Rosenburg has Introduced amode of communication he created to dealwith conflict called NonviolentCommunication.
Many people either lean on avoidance oranger as a way to either avoid or
incorrectly engage conflict. Neither ofthese methods is effective.
In other words, Non Violent
II. Nonviolent Communication
II N i l t C i ti
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NONVIOLENT ASSERTIONNonviolent Assertion hinges on 3 major precepts:
1. Talking about how individuals make you feelrather than accusing them of this or that.
2. Speaking from a place wherein you want theother person to understand your point of view,rather than trying to convert or manipulate theother person to your point of view.
3. Assuming that the other person in the conflict isinnocent until proven guilty. In other wordsassuming that their motivations are not negative orevil in engaging you in the conflict, but that rather
II. Nonviolent Communication
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.
COMMUNICATIONAS INSPIRATION,
MOTIVATION, AND
HEALING: THEPOWER OF
III The Po er of Narrati e
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WHAT IS NARRATIVECOMMUNICATION?
Narrative Communication is the successfulattempt to verbally describe another
human beings worth and potential inreference to a story in which they are theprotagonist or main character.
(Bauer, McAdams, & Pals, 2008; Jennifer,2006)
III. The Power of NarrativeCommunication
III The Power of Narrative
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AN EXAMPLE OFNARRATIVE
COMMUNICATION Pastor Crowder is a gentle David, in thesense that God has anointed him to war asa warrior King for the members of the Bodyof Christ that God sends to him and to warfor the unsaved souls of the masses. Yetas a Gentle David Pastor Crowder does
not, War with the weapons of this worldbut rather tears down the kingdom ofSatan, with compassion, empathy, logic,
reason, and spiritual warfare.
III. The Power of NarrativeCommunication
2 WAYS OF USINGIII The Power of Narrative
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2 WAYS OF USINGNARRATIVE
COMMUNICATION1. Making your subordinates, superiors, or
peers into characters in a triumphant
story wherein they and you succeedrather than fearing failure as a functionof poor performance.
2. Speaking of the past in terms ofopportunities for learning and trust, the
present as an opportunity for gratitude
III. The Power of NarrativeCommunication
III The Power of Narrative
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THE POWER OFNARRATIVE
COMMUNICATION TO HEAL
III. The Power of NarrativeCommunication
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OF EFFECTIVE
COMMUNICATION1. Fear (Cowardice, Timidity)2. Anger (Rage, Frustration, Wrath, Unforgiveness, Bitterness, andRebellion).3. Selfishness (Self Centeredness, Narcissism)4. Impatience5. Sloth
6. Lust7. Adultery8. Extremism9. Perfectionism10. Idolatry11. Shame
12. Guilt13. Self-Loathing14. Pride15. Vanity16. Deception17. Doubt
18. Distrust