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Listening
“Seek first to understand…
Then to be understood.”(Covey, 1997)
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Listening is not a communication action, it is a human action.
Understanding how to listen effectively
is an essential skill that benefits everything from family life to
business.
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Introduction and Overview
What listening is not: Hearing vs. listening Faulty listening behaviors Reasons for poor listening
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Introduction and Overview
What listening is: Stages of successful listening Personal listening styles Situational listening
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What listening is not
Hearing vs. Listening: Hearing: “Sounds waves strike the
ear drum and cause vibrations that are transmitted to the brain.”
Automatic and effortless Listening: “The brain gives the sounds
meaning.” Unnatural, requires effort
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Faulty listening behaviors
1. Pseudo listening: imitation, or fake listening. Pretending to listen.
2. Selective listening: responding only to the parts of a speakers remarks that interest the receiver and rejecting everything else.
3. Defensive listening: taking innocent comments as personal attacks.
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Faulty Listening, cont.
4. Ambushing: using listening skills to collect information to use for an attack on the speaker.
5. Insulated listening: avoiding a particular topic.
6. Insensitive listening: unable to look beyond words for other meanings.
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Faulty listening, cont.
7. Stage Hogging: attempting to turn the conversation to oneself.
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Reasons for Poor Listening
Effort: listening is hard; it is not natural
Message overload Rapid thought Psychological noise Physical noise Hearing problems Faulty assumptions
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Reasons for Poor Listening, cont.
Cultural differences Media
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What Listening is: Listening Defined
Listening: Occurs when the brain gives the sound transmitted meaning. Listening is not like breathing. It is
unnatural and requires effort.
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What listening is: Stages of Successful Listening
1. Attending: paying attention to a signal
2. Understanding: making sense of a message
3. Responding: giving observable feedback to the speaker
4. Remembering1. Residual Message: what is remembered
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Personal Listening Styles
Content-Oriented: interested in the quality of the message. This style is useful when looking at a wide range of perspectives and options.
People-oriented: concerned with creating and maintaining positive relationships
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Personal Listening Styles, cont.
Action-Oriented: concerned with the task at hand. Useful when business needs to be attended to.
Time-oriented: most concerned with efficiency.
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Situational Listening
Informational listening:Used when one wants to understand
another. The goal is to receive the same thoughts the other person is trying to convey.
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Informational Listening, cont.
1. Listen first2. “Don’t kill the messenger”: separate
the message from the speaker3. Look for big ideas and main points4. Paraphrase: restate what the speaker
is saying in one’s own words5. Take notes
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Critical Listening
Judging the quality of a message and deciding to accept or reject it.1. Listen for information first2. Evaluate the speakers credibility
- check the source3. Examine evidence and reasoning4. Remove emotion
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Empathetic Listening
Stages of listening (Covey, 1997) Ignoring Pretend listening Selective listening Attentive listening Empathic listening: the first step in
beginning to understand someone
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Empathetic Listening
The goal is to build a relationship or help solve a problem.
This style of listening has the most respect for the other’s point of view.
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Empathetic Listening
Ways to practice empathetic listening:1. Advising: offering suggestions2. Judging: look for constructive judgments3. Analyzing: offers and interpretations of the speakers message
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Empathic Listening, cont.
4. Questioning: helps sort out problems
5. Supporting6. Prompting: The goal is to help the
speaker draw conclusions for him/herself
7. Paraphrasing: rewording