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This guide answers the following common questions...

Pg 5. How much does a divorce cost?

Pg 7. What are the grounds for divorce?

Pg 9. How long will your divorce take?

Pg 11. What is the divorce process?

Pg 13. What happens to your children?

Pg 15. At what age can your children decide for themselves who they want to live with?

Pg 17. I’ve heard about parental responsibility. What is it?

Pg 19. How much child maintenance will you need to pay?

Pg 23. What do our clients say about us?

Pg 25. What next?

Pg 27. Glossary of terms

ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT GETTING DIVORCED?

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...you might be worrying about what’s involved and have lots of questions.

If you’re like most people I deal with, one of your first questions will be about cost. That is why I answer this for you at the beginning of this guide.

But that is certainly not the only worry for people thinking of divorce or separation. For example, it’s perfectly natural for you to be worrying about your future and what it has in store for you. What will happen to your money, your house and your other valuable possessions?

And of course, how will this affect your children?

But please don’t worry. These are perfectly natural feelings. After all, we all know how complicated the law can be. And I’m sure you’ve probably spoken with some of your friends and heard other people’s stories.

So I have written this straightforward guide to help you. It is based on my experience of helping hundreds of people like you. People

that have decided, for one reason or another, that their future happiness requires a change in their personal lives.

If you feel this way, you should find this guide priceless. It’s written in simple, non-legal language. And it answers the most common questions I am asked.

For instance, how much does a typical divorce cost? What are the grounds for divorce? How long does it take? And what are the pitfalls?

You might find our diagram and glossary helpful too.

This guide also includes two items that you might find useful. The first is a diagram of a typical time line for divorce, showing you the different stages.

The second is a legal glossary. This explains what each legal term means in simple English.

What should you do next?

I hope that after reading this guide, you will have your questions answered. But no two divorces are the same, so this guide doesn’t answer every question your personal circumstances might involve.

If you don’t understand some of my answers or you have questions I have not covered, please contact me. I’ll gladly help you.

Kirpal Bidmead Partner & Head of Family Law

Tel: 01332 340 211 Email: kirpal.bidmead@flintbishop.co.uk

If your answer is ‘YES’...

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I have answered this for you first as without doubt, this is the most common question I am asked.

It doesn’t surprise me that this question is so common. Not just because money plays such a vital part in all our lives, but because of a misconception about the cost of getting divorced or separated. A misconception which, in my experience, stems from nightmare stories heard through your friends or friends-of-friends. More often than not these stories spread misleading information a bit like the game of ‘Chinese Whispers’.

The reality is (which you might find disappointing), there is no standard cost for a divorce.

This is because your costs depend entirely on the amount of work needed to be carried out by your solicitor. For instance, if you and your spouse are getting divorced on friendly terms with little, if any, arguing your costs are likely to be low.

But if your situation is complicated, say with children or business interests, or if it is ill-tempered with lots of arguing, your divorce costs will be much higher.

This is simply because it will take your solicitor longer to sort out. And as your solicitors will charge you for the time spent on your case, this will cost you more money.

But no matter what the circumstances surrounding your divorce, you will have to

pay a standard fee to the court. Your solicitor doesn’t get any of this money – it is purely for the court service.

The court fee is currently £410. This is the total you pay as VAT is not charged.

However, depending on your circumstances, you may be exempt from paying this fee.

Then you have to pay for your solicitor’s time. In a simple divorce we charge around £700 + VAT. And to ease any financial burden, you can pay us in monthly instalments.

So, to answer the question, you should budget from £1,250 upwards for the divorce itself.

Less than you might think

HOW MUCH DOES A DIVORCE COST?

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You might be surprised to know that you can only get divorced if you have been married more than 12 months.

Assuming this is the case, you then need to be able to prove that your marriage has ‘irretrievably broken down’.

To do this, you need to give good reason as to why you think this is the case in your marriage. And your reason should be only one of the following – commonly known at the grounds for divorce:

1. Adultery: Your spouse has committed adultery. But you can’t use this reason if

your spouse has committed adultery with someone of the same sex. This is because under English and Welsh law, adultery is defined as voluntary sexual intercourse between a man and a woman.

2. Unreasonable Behaviour: Your spouse’s behaviour is such that you simply cannot reasonably be expected to live with them.

3. Desertion: Your spouse left you at least two years ago and you have not heard from them since; this is referred to as desertion.

4. Living Apart for Two Years: You have been separated from your spouse for at least two years and they agree to a divorce.

5. Living Apart for Five Years: You and your spouse have been separated for five years or more. If you are in this position, you can use this reason to get divorced whether or not your spouse agrees to the divorce.

When you have concluded that your marriage has irretrievably broken down, you should decide on one of the above five facts as the basis for your divorce.

WHAT ARE THE GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE?And when do you choose one?

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The answer to this question is a bit like the answer to ‘How much does a divorce cost?’ because it depends on your circumstances.

I know that sounds a bit like a stereotypical legal answer, but there is no way around it.

To work this out accurately, you need to count the days from filing your divorce petition to your decree absolute being granted by the court.

And our average time is currently 6 months.

HOW LONG WILL YOUR DIVORCE TAKE?

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In my experience, it helps people to understand the time it takes to get divorced if they understand what is actually involved.

You can see a detailed divorce timeline on the opposite page and here are the three main stages of a divorce:

1. You must file a divorce petition. This is the name of the legal document that you will send to the court. This document will formally ask the court to dissolve your marriage.

It doesn’t matter whether your divorce is amicable or ill-tempered, you have to apply to the court for permission to divorce.

In this document you will need to state the reasons why you want a divorce. You will need to use one of the five ‘facts’ for divorce as already discussed.

And please don’t worry about completing your divorce petition, as our solicitors will help you.

2. Your decree nisi. The Court will send your divorce petition to your spouse. They then need to complete a document called an Acknowledgement of Service and return it to the court. Assuming your spouse does not defend the divorce, you can then apply to the court for the Decree Nisi which is the provisional stage of the divorce.

3. Your decree absolute. This dissolves your marriage.

But please remember that you have to wait at least six weeks and one day from the date of the decree nisi before you can apply for your decree absolute.

The diagram opposite shows the process for an undefended divorce. This simply means that both people are willing to accept the divorce and move on with their lives.

WHAT IS THE DIVORCE PROCESS?

But as I’m sure you know, people are not always like that. The reality of divorce, probably due to the emotions involved, means that divorces are sometimes ‘defended’; meaning more work for your solicitor, higher legal costs for you and a lot more stress.

I cannot warn you enough about arguing over who is going to divorce who and on what basis. It is very often a complete waste of your money with no real benefit.

The only exception to this is in cases of gross misconduct. This is where the actions of your spouse / partner have been so unreasonable that they simply cannot be ignored and must be taken into consideration when you deal with the arrangements for the children and/or divide your assets.

And how many stages are there?

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It is natural for you to be worried about the effect your divorce might have on your children.

This is probably the most emotional part of the whole divorce process.

And your emotions – particularly if mixed with any ill-feeling towards your spouse – can make it hard for you to agree on the best way forward.

But I encourage you to put these feelings to one side and, where possible, do what is best for your children’s wellbeing and their future. The starting point is your children having a relationship with both parents.

I encourage you to agree your children’s arrangements directly with your spouse. In my experience, this is the easiest way for both of you to come to an agreement.

Since 22 April 2014, there has been a requirement that before an application is made to the court, you must attend a mediation meeting. There are some limited exemptions to this requirement.

If you can’t agree on what happens to your children, then you should consider mediation.

What is Mediation?

First let’s look at what mediation isn’t, because like with much of the law, there is some confusion.

Mediation is not about your relationship, nor is it about trying to get you and your partner back together.

Instead, mediation is a way for you and your partner to sort out certain details of your divorce – the details you have been struggling to agree on.

And it is a way for you to do this without having to go to court; which can cost you a great deal of money and stress.

How does mediation work?

You and your spouse or partner meet face-to- face in front of an impartial mediator; usually in their office.

You explain your concerns and opinions to each other in front of the mediator; who is there to help you calmly resolve any issues and reach an agreement.

WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUR CHILDREN?

What are the benefits?

There are many benefits from taking the mediation route including:

• You reach your own decisions. This is because if you go to court, the judge will make the decisions for you;

• You suffer less stress because Court often creates conflict;

• Your children will find it less upsetting if you and your partner cooperate rather than fight;

• Your agreements can be changed when your circumstances change;

• Important family relationships are preserved; and

• You can get on with the rest of your life quicker.

Court should be seen as the last resort and if it is necessary for an application to be made, we will present your case expertly.

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Like a lot of what you will have read so far in this guide, there is not a concrete answer to this as there is no certain age set by law.

And if you and your partner agree the arrangements for the children then, like other issues, there is no need to involve the courts.

However, if you do not agree the arrangements about your children, and if mediation is unsuccessful, one of you can make an application to the court.

And the court only has one thing in mind: your children’s welfare.

To decide who your children should live with, the court refers to a welfare checklist to reach a decision. This checklist includes the following factors:

1. Your child’s wishes and feelings. The weight the court will put on this depends on the ages of your children and their understanding of the situation. For instance, if your children are young, say 7 years old or younger, their own wishes will not be taken as seriously as if your child was a teenager;

2. Your children’s physical, emotional and educational needs;

AT WHAT AGE CAN YOUR CHILDREN DECIDE FOR THEMSELVES WHO THEY WANT TO LIVE WITH?

3. Any effect on your children that a change in circumstances might create;

4. Your children’s age, sex and background;

5. Any harm which they have suffered or are at risk of suffering;

6. How capable you and your partner are in providing for your children’s needs. This also extends to any other person the court considers the question to be relevant to, for instance, any family members.

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Parental responsibility is an important part of the law. It gives you the responsibility to make important decisions about a range of things for your children. For instance, what school they attend and what religion they follow, if any.

As a mother, you automatically have parental responsibility. That is unless you have surrendered your child for adoption.

If you are the father, it is not as straightforward.

Here’s why:

If you were married at the time of your child’s birth, then you have parental responsibility.

If you were not married when your child was born, but are named on their birth certificate and the child was born after 1st December 2003, you have parental responsibility.

But if you were not married when your child was born and their birth date was before 1st December 2003, you do not automatically have parental responsibility.

And it doesn’t matter if you are named on your child’s birth certificate or not.

I’VE HEARD ABOUT PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY

If you’re like most fathers I deal with, you’ll want to have a say in your children’s lives, and so will want parental responsibility.

To get it, you need to do one of these:

• You could apply to the court for a parental responsibility order;

• You could enter into a parental responsibility agreement with your child’s mother; or

• You could apply for a residence order.

What is it?

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If you have read parts of this guide, you probably know the answer to this question. That is, unfortunately, there is no set answer. And nor is it straightforward. Instead, it is based on your circumstances.

But these are the simple rules to give you some help.

Assuming you are new to the child support system, you will come under a scheme called child maintenance options.

The formula used to calculate how much maintenance you will pay takes into consideration items like:

1. How many children you have. This includes children from other relationships;

2. Your income. Keep in mind this is based on your gross income, not your net;

3. Your pension contributions; and

4. The number of nights your children will stay with you.

If you claim certain benefits or earn less than £200 per week, you might not pay anything at all.

But if you earn between £200 and £800 per week gross you pay the below percentage.

• 12% for one child

• 16% for two children

• 19% for three or more

But if you earn between £800 and £3000 per week gross you pay the following percentage.

HOW MUCH CHILD MAINTENANCE WILL YOU NEED TO PAY?

• 9% for one child

• 12% for two children

• 15% for three or more

Please take these calculations as a guide only. Because they do not take into consideration any pension contributions you might make.

Also, the amount you pay may reduce depending on how many nights your children stay with you.

For more information on child maintenance, please visit:

https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance

And other considerations

LET ME INTRODUCE MYSELF & MY TEAM...

Kirpal Bidmead

Partner & Head

of Family Law

Tel: 01332 340 211

Email: kirpal.bidmead@

flintbishop.co.uk

Ben Lawson Solicitor

Tel: 01332 340 211 Email: ben.lawson@ flintbishop.co.uk

Janine Hobday

Associate

Tel: 01332 340 211

Email: janine.hobday@

flintbishop.co.uk

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About Kirpal Bidmead

I joined Flint Bishop LLP in September 2012 and am a Partner and Head of the Family Law Team.

My team and I specialise in protecting the interests of high net worth clients and handle cases involving complex financial issues and matters involving arrangements for the children of the family.

I have a talent for locating assets that have not been voluntarily disclosed; forensically analysing accounts and financial statements. These assets have included properties, bank accounts, trusts, and on one memorable occasion, a racehorse.

I am a skilled negotiator and a talented advocate and am always willing to go the extra mile for my clients.

I am supported by my colleagues, Janine Hobday and Ben Lawson.

About Janine Hobday

Janine advises on all aspects of family law, with a particular emphasis on the resolution of financial issues for wealthy individuals. She has successfully represented city professionals, entrepreneurs, farmers and their spouses or partners. Janine increasingly drafts, negotiates and advises on pre-nuptial agreements to protect and safeguard family wealth.

By taking the time to fully understand a client’s individual and business needs, Janine gives practical and pragmatic advice. She is solution driven; aiming to resolve disputes as swiftly and constructively as possible.

About Ben Lawson

Ben is an experienced advocate and is able to utilise his civil litigation background to achieve the best outcomes for his clients.

Ben advises on all areas of divorce and the resolution of financial matters. He is able to simplify complex issues in a clear and concise manner enabling clients to make informed decisions about the best way forward in their specific circumstances. He also advises on cohabitation and separation agreements, as well as maintenance disputes.

He is developing a particular specialism in children matters; advising and representing parents and grandparents in contested proceedings. Ben takes the time to understand the family makeup before working with clients to ensure a child focussed approach is taken.

We work closely with our colleagues who are leaders in their specialist areas, enabling us to understand and protect our clients’ financial interests.

The services we offer include

1. Divorce and dissolution of Civil Partnerships.

2. Protecting the interests of high net worth clients who have complicated financial arrangements including; family businesses (such as farms), private company shareholding issues, partnerships, pension disputes and cases involving UK and International Trusts.

3. Pre-marital/ civil and post-marital/ civil agreements.

4. Children matters to include applications for leave to remove out of the Court’s jurisdiction.

5. Advising in cases which include substantial pre-marital property and/or inherited assets.

6. Disputes between unmarried couples.

7. Variations of existing Court Orders to include capitalisation of maintenance claims.

8. Regularly advising and commenting on topical family law issues in the local and national press and on the radio. Kirpal was recently quoted in the Times newspaper in an article relating to divorce.

Flint Bishop’s FAMILY LAW team...

HERE’S PROOF THAT WE’RE AS GOOD AS WE SAY WE ARE...

23“Thank you so much for your professional skill, care, diplomacy and endless patience with me throughout

this journey to independence.”

“Thanks for seeing me through this and doing more than you had to!”

“You certainly know how to do your job, thank you!”

“I want to personally thank Kirpal for being brutally honest but sensitive

to a woman who needed to rant. I could not fault her and thank her so much for guiding me to

the relevant issues with her humour and professionalism.”

“Thank you for taking the time to be there for me during my difficult time.

Your kindness, empathy and support was very much appreciated.”

“You have been an incredible support during a very difficult time and I truly value your advice. I also feel that the

outcome of the children’s case was very much a reflection of your hard work for

which I cannot thank you enough.”

“I was very pleased with the professional way in which Ben conducted himself under

difficult circumstances and I would recommend him to any future client,

I don’t think I would have had a better outcome, even if I had

used the barrister.”

“Thank you for your guidance, support and understanding during

this stressful time. You have dealt with this matter in a truly

professional and respectful manner.”

“You have always dealt with us with the utmost respect and with

a sympathetic ear. We can most certainly tell this is more than just a job to you and you take pride in your work. You have always been

a phone call away and you have always advised us with honesty which was

very much appreciated.”

“I cannot recommend you highly enough, again thank you.”

“Thank you so much for all your work, your efficiency, your kindness

and speed where needed. I am so impressed.”

“Pro-active, thorough and completely reliable on

all occasions.”

“Many, many thanks for all your support. I do hope your

secretary did not feel too embarrassed to pass on the big hugs to you that

I felt were only too justified.”

“Thanks as big as the sky in Birmingham.”

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Now that you’ve read the guide, I hope you feel better informed about divorce.

But if there is anything you’ve not understood or you wish to have a chat about, please contact me or a member of my team using any of the methods below.

Kirpal Bidmead Partner & Head of Family Law

Tel: 01332 340 211 Email: kirpal.bidmead@flintbishop.co.uk

Janine Hobday , Associate

Tel: 01332 340 211 Email: janine.hobday@flintbishop.co.uk

Ben Lawson, Solicitor

Tel: 01332 340 211 Email: ben.lawson@flintbishop.co.uk

YOU’VE READ THE GUIDE...

And if you choose to book an appointment, you’ll be asked a few simple questions.

When you visit the office you’ll need to bring the following proof of your identification:

Photocard driving licence or passport and

Proof of your address – i.e. current utility bill

And of course, if you don’t understand anything in this guide, please contact me and I’ll gladly help.

Kirpal Bidmead

... here’s information on what to do next

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Absent Parent: Is a parent who does not live in the same house as the child/ren.

Acknowledgement of service: Is a form sent by the Court to the Respondent (& Co-Respondent if any) together with the divorce petition. The form asks whether the Respondent wishes to defend the divorce, whether any claim for costs is disputed and if there are any orders affecting the children being sought.

Adjournment: This is where a Court date has been set but it has been put off/postponed to another time.

Adultery: Voluntary sexual intercourse during a marriage between one spouse and a person of the opposite sex who is not not the other spouse. Adultery is one of the “facts” that can be relied on in a divorce petition.

Answer: This is the defence to a divorce petition in which the allegations in the petition (or cross-petition) are denied. Strict time limits apply for filing an answer.

Applicant: This is the person who first applies to Court for an Order.

Certificate of entitlement to a Decree: The certificate is issued by the Court confirming that you have proven the contents of your divorce petition and you

are entitled to a divorce. The certificate will confirm the date when the Decree Nisi is to be pronounced. It will also state whether an order for costs is to be made and whether the Court has any concerns about the children.

Certified copy: When filing the divorce petition with the Court, you are also required to file your original marriage certificate. If you are unable to find your original marriage certificate, you will need to obtain a certified copy of it. There is usually a fee of between £5 to £20 payable.

Child of the family: Child who has been treated by the parties to a marriage as a child of the family, irrespective of whether the child is a biological child or not, e.g. step-children.

Clean break: This is a one-off Order in relation to the financial aspects of the marriage/partnership. It provides for the dismissal of maintenance claims and cannot be varied even if circumstances change.

GLOSSARYConsent order: The best case scenario is for an agreement to be reached between the parties. The agreement can be filed with the Court during the course of proceedings and if approved by the Court, it will be made into an Order.

Contact: Arrangements for the child/ren to visit/stay with their non-resident parent. Contact arrangements can be made by agreement or by an Order of the Court (see also “Residence”). Contact can be indirect, which includes exchange of letters, telephone calls, presents etc. Contact Orders can also be made in favour of others, e.g. grandparents.

Cross-petition: After receiving a divorce petition, you may decide to start your own divorce on the basis of your spouse’s adultery or unreasonable behaviour. Your petition will be known as the “cross-petition”.

Decree Nisi: The Decree Nisi is the provisional divorce and can be made Absolute after six weeks and one day.

The Decree Nisi does not end the marriage.

Decree Absolute: This is the final order in divorce proceedings dissolving the marriage and leaving you free to remarry.

Desertion: This is effectively abandonment and can be relied on as a fact in a divorce petition.

Disclosure: This is a term commonly used for the process of providing details of your financial position. Ideally, disclosure should be exchanged between the parties voluntarily.

Dissolution: The termination of a civil partnership.

Divorce: The termination of a marriage, otherwise than by death or annulment.

Domicile: See habitual residence below.

Financial Dispute Resolution (FDR): This is the second Court hearing during Financial Remedy proceedings. At this

hearing, the District Judge is able to give an indication as to how s/he thinks the case should be settled. The parties will be encouraged by the Court to reach an agreement, if at all possible.

Financial Remedy: This is a financial claim that a person can pursue during divorce, dissolution of a civil partnership or judicial separation proceedings. Either one of you can apply to Court for financial remedy which is effectively a Court order dealing with the

financial arrangements. The order can deal with the family home, savings, pensions and all other assets as well as income and liabilities.

First Directions Appointment (FDA): This is the first hearing during Financial Remedy proceedings. At the hearing, the District Judge will be seeking to ascertain the issues in dispute and will make orders in relation to any information or documents that are still outstanding.

Habitual residence and domicile: Under European law, you must be habitually resident in England or Wales for a period of one year before

the divorce proceedings/dissolution proceedings can begin or you must be domiciled in England or Wales when the proceedings begin.

Judicial Separation: A judicial separation is virtually identical to a divorce. The difference is that the Court pronounces a Decree of judicial separation rather than

a Decree of divorce. The Decree of judicial separation confirms that the parties to the marriage are separated, but remain married. It is an alternative to divorce, usually used where there is a moral or religious objection to divorce. It enables the parties to seek a Financial Remedy.

Lump sum: This is an order providing for one party to pay a fixed sum to the other party within a certain time frame.

Maintenance: This is also known as periodical payments. A periodical payments Order provides for one party to pay the other a specified sum of

money each week/month/year.

Maintenance pending suit: The Court can order one party to pay maintenance to the other on a temporary basis until a final Order has been made in relation to the finances.

Matrimonial home: This is the property where the parties to the marriage/civil partnership last lived together.

Mediation: This is a form of alternative dispute resolution. A third party, a mediator, will assist the parties with negotiating an agreement. The dispute can be either related to the children or financial matters. Married couples and civil partners are required to try to resolve any disputes through mediation before Court proceedings are commenced. There are some exceptions to this rule, including if there have been any incidents of domestic violence.

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Parental responsibility: All mothers and most fathers have legal rights and

responsibilities as a parent – known as “parental responsibility”. A mother

automatically has parental responsibility for her child from birth. A father usually has parental responsibility if he is married to the child’s mother and/or listed on the birth certificate (after a certain date) depending on which part of the UK the child was born in. You can apply for parental responsibility if you do not automatically have it.

Parties: The people who are directly involved in or interested in the legal proceedings.

Pension sharing order: This provides for a specified percentage of the “cash equivalent transfer value” (CETV) of a pension to be transferred from one party to the other.

Periodical payments: Please see maintenance above.

Petition: This is the formal application to the Court requesting a divorce.

Petitioner: The person who starts divorce proceedings by presenting the divorce petition to the Court.

Prayer: This is the formal request to the Court for a divorce, dissolution or judicial separation. The prayer can include a claim for costs and Financial Remedy.

Property adjustment order: This requires one party to transfer all/part of an interest in a property to the other party.

Relevant child: A child of the marriage under the age of 16 or between 16 and

18 if in full-time education/training for a trade at the time of the Decree Nisi. A

disabled and dependant child of any age will also be considered a relevant child.

Residence: A residence order is an order setting the arrangements to be made as to the person with whom a child is to live.

Respondent: The person who receives and responds to the petition for divorce/dissolution/judicial separation by agreeing to or opposing the particulars or orders sought by the petitioner.

Separation agreement: This is an agreement between two people who have agreed to live separately and apart.

The agreement can deal with the agreed arrangements for any relevant children or financial arrangements.

Spouse: Husband or wife.

Statement of arrangements for children: A statement of arrangements for children must be filed with the Court at the same time as the divorce petition, if there are any relevant children. The statement must set out the current and proposed future arrangements for the children, i.e. where they will live, contact arrangements etc.

Undefended divorce: A divorce that is not defended by the Respondent.

Unreasonable behaviour: This is one of the five facts on which a divorce petition can be based. The Petitioner will need to convince the Court that the Respondent has behaved so unreasonably that s/he cannot reasonably be expected to live with the Respondent. Examples of the unreasonable behaviour will need to be included within the divorce petition.

Flint Bishop LLP is a limited liability partnership registered in England and Wales. A list of partners names is available for inspection at the address above. Authorised and regulated by the Solicitors Regulation Authority.

*All statistics used in this guide are taken from The National Office of Statistics 2012

www.flintbishop.co.uk 01332 340 211

HEAD OFFICE

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Tel: 01332 340 211 Fax: 01332 207 601 DX: 729320 Derby 24