coping with difficult people slides

7/25/2019 Coping With Difficult People Slides

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by Robert M. Bramson 1988

Hostile Aggressive:Sherman Tank

Abusive, abrupt, intimidating, overwhelming

Attack personal behaviors and characteristics

The SniperPot shots innuendoes non- la ful teasinsubtle digs, dont like confrontation

The ExploderTantrums, rage e attac s, ame, susp c on


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Coping Plan for Sherman Tanks

Give them a little time to run downJum in an wa ou can

Get their attention (proximity, call by

name)

Get them to sit down

Maintain E e Contact

State your opinions forcefully

Dont ar ue


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Coping Plan for Snipers

Surface the attack

direct contest

of the Snipers criticism

ove on o so ve any pro emsthat arise


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Coping Plan for Exploders

Give them time to run downIf the dont run down cut into thetantrum with a neutral phrase like

stopShow them that you take themseriously

If possible, take a breather withthem to the side and in private


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Complainers:

May point out real problems, butrarel wants to solve them

Feel powerless to determine fate

behave (prescriptive)

e -va a ng a ey are no ncontrol or responsible for things thatare one wrong per ec on sm


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Coping Plan for Complainers

Listen attentivelyAcknowledge what they are saying

Dont agree with them or apologize

Avoid the accusation-defense-re-accusa on

State and acknowledge facts

-mode (ask questions, assign tasks, etc.)

this discussion to end?


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Clams

Silent and unresponsive or respondswith yes, no or grunt

May use body language (staring,

glaring, frowning, folded arms)This may occur for different reasons

Defensive, denying access, distrust,

avo ng rea y, mas ears, su en anger,spiteful


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rGet the clam to open up

Ask open-ended questionsWait for a response, dont fill silencewith conversation

Plan time to wait with composureIf no response, comment on it

If the o en be attentive and dont ush

If Clam stays closed, avoid a politeendin end the meetin and set

another appointment


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Super Agreeables

Strong need to be liked

Tell you things that are satisfying

Commit to unrealistic actions

Lead you to believe that there isagreement and then let you down


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Agreeables

Surface the underlying facts and issuesthat prevent them from taking action

Let t em now t at you va ue t em aspeople

might interfere with your goodrelationship

Be ready to compromise and negotiate

Listen to the humor for hiddenmessages


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Negativist

Criticizes the group process

(skeptic)

with conviction

e eve ose n power o no care


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Coping Plan for Negativist

Be alert to being dragged downMake realistic o timistic statements

Do not try to argue

Do not offer solutions-alternatives untilthe problem has been thoroughlydiscussed

Raise negative statements yourself

Be ready to take action on your own


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Know-it-alls

BulldozersTone of certainty, condescending

Imposing

Assigns blameMake others feel stupid

Balloons

Act knowledgeable, arrogantCurious and alert to information


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Coping Plan for Bulldozers

Prepare yourself

Do not challenge, use questionson or your own u oz ng

tendencies

As a last resort, choose tosubordinate yourself


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Coping Plan for Balloons

Restate facts,

Be ready to fill conversation gapope w m er a one


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Indecisives

Perfectionist at heart

Super-helpful

os pones ec s ons,procrastinates

Hint and beat around the bush


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Indecisives

Make it easy for them to tell you aboutconflicts or reservations

Listen or in irect wor s, esitations,and omissions

issues have surfaced

Hel them examine facts

Give support after the decision

Watch for si ns of an er or withdrawal

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