Dr. Wael YoussefPhD, MBA, PMP, CLSSBB

CEO of ConZonia Consulting

Bridging minds…Developing Organizations

Housekeeping Ground Rules

Course Overview

Foundation to consulting business

The art of Listening…LISTEN

Management Vs. Leadership

Brand Called You

Project Management

Case Study

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4

Day 5

Day 6

- Communication Foundation

- Crucial Conversations

- Dealing with Difficult Characters

- LISTEN Methodology

Agenda for Today’s Session

Consulting

101

What is communication

The process of communication is what allows us to interact with other people; without it, we would be unable to share knowledge or experiences with anything outside of ourselves. Common forms of communication include speaking, writing, gestures, touch and broadcasting.

• Wikipedia definition

Process of communication

• Communication is the process of sending and receiving information among people…

SENDER RECEIVER

Feedback

receiver sender

MediumEncode Decode

Effective communication

• Meaning and Definition

• Uses of Effective Communication

• The 7C’s of Effective Communication

• Facts about Effective communication

Meaning and definition

Meaning-• Effective Communication is a two way process – sending the right

message and to the right person.

• It is important to know the psychology of the people you are interacting

with for communication to be effective.

• For communication to be effective it is necessary to know the

circumstances of the counter entity.

• Effective communication includes all the aspects of visual, auditory and

kinaesthetic language to appeal the listener.

Definition-“Effective communication is the communication which produces intended or

desired result”

Uses of effective communication

•Effective communication helps to understand a person or

situation in a better way.

•It enables us to solve the differences, build trust and respect in the

organization.

•Sometimes our message is misunderstood or we misunderstand

the received message, effective communication helps us to resolve problems with both’s point of view.

•Effective communication helps us to connect well with kids,

spouse, boss, colleagues, etc.

•It helps us in decision making.

The 7c’s of effective communication

1. Completeness

2. Conciseness

3. Consideration

4. Clarity

5. Concreteness

6. Courtesy

7. Correctness.

Mastering your 7C’s

`Completeness- The information conveyed in the message should be complete for the

communication to be effective.

Conciseness- means communicating what you want to convey in least possible words.

Consideration- Effective communication must take audience into consideration by

knowing the viewpoints, back ground, mindset, educational level, etc.

Clarity- implies emphasizing on a specific goal or objective at a time, rather than trying

to move away from track.

Concreteness- communication implies being particular and clear rather being fuzzy and

general.

Courtesy- means being polite, kind, judicious, enthusiastic and convincing.

Correctness- in the communication implies that the correct information is conveyed

through message.

•Lack of Sensitivity to Receiver

•Lack of Basic Communication Skills

•Insufficient Knowledge of the Subject

•Emotional Interference

•Lacking confidence

Encoding Barriers

• Physical Distractions

• Channel Barriers.

• Long Communication Chain.

Transmitting Barriers

• Lack of Interest.

• Lack of Knowledge.

• Lack of Communication Skills

• Emotional Distractions

• Information overload

• Conflicting Messages

Decoding Barriers.

• No Provision for Feedback

• Inadequate Feedback.

Responding Barriers

Over coming the barriers of effective communication

Effective

Communication skills

Body language

(Smile, Eye contact,

Gestures, tone)

Cultural

Sensitivity

Checking

for understanding

Summarizing

what has been said

Seeking

Participation

Effective Questions

Simple

Words

Connecting with

The audience

Listen to the Unsaid

Person Holding Negative Attitude, the higher the worse

Defensive vs. Opened Sizing & Challenging

Bored vs. Interested

Dominant/Confident and I do not care

Dominant/Confident and Ready for Action

European Sign of Nervousness

American/Arab Sign of Argument

Distance Matters

Don’t Want to hear you– Am not sure Negative Thoughts – Making Decision

Neutral – Interested - Disagree

Positive Expectations

Feel Lying

Block You (ok) – Block & Defense – Block but Cool- Partial Block Slight Block- Most Sales, Politicians and Celebrities do that

Confidence – Frustration - Anger Sign of Dominance

Personality Test1. At times I avoid situations that might bring me into contact with people I’m having problems with.

2. I have put off returning phone calls or e-mails because I simply didn’t want to deal with the person who sent them.

3. Sometimes when people bring up a touchy or awkward issue I try to change the subject.

4. When it comes to dealing with awkward or stressful subjects, sometimes I hold back rather than give my full and candid opinion.

5. Rather than tell people exactly what I think, sometimes I rely on jokes, sarcasm, or snide remarks to let them know I’m frustrated.

6. When I’ve got something tough to bring up, sometimes I offer weak or insincere compliments to soften the blow.

7. In order to get my point across, I sometimes exaggerate my side of the argument.

8. If I seem to be losing control of a conversation, I might cut people off or change the subject in order to bring it back to where I think it should be.

9. When others make points that seem stupid to me, I sometimes let them know it without holding back at all.

10. When I’m stunned by a comment, sometimes I say things that others might take as forceful or attacking—terms such as “Give me a break!” or “That’s ridiculous!”

Personality Test11. Sometimes when things get a bit heated I move from arguing against others’ points to saying things that might hurt them personally.12. If I really get into a heated discussion, I’ve been known to be tough on the other person. In fact, they might even feel a bit insulted or hurt13. When I’m discussing an important topic with others, sometimes I move from trying to make my point to trying to win the battle.14. In the middle of a tough conversation, I often get so caught up in arguments that I don’t see how I’m coming across to others.

15. When talking gets tough and I do something hurtful, I’m quick to apologize for my mistakes.

16. When I think about a conversation that took a bad turn, I tend to focus first on what I did that was wrong rather than focus on others’ mistakes.17. When I’ve got something to say that others might not want to hear, I avoid starting out with tough conclusions, and instead start with facts that help them understand where I’m coming from.

18. I can tell very quickly when others are holding back or feeling defensive in a conversation.

19. Sometimes I decide it’s better not to give harsh feedback because I know it’s bound to cause problems.

20. When conversations aren’t working, I step back from the fray, think about what’s happening, and take steps to make it better.

21. When others get defensive because they misunderstand me, I immediately get us back on track by clarifying what I do and don’t mean.22. There are some people I’m rough on because, to be honest, they need or deserve what I give them.

Personality Test23. I sometimes make absolute statements like “The fact is…” or “It’s obvious that…” to be sure my point gets across.

24. If others hesitate to share their views, I sincerely invite them to say what’s on their mind, no matter what it is.

25. At times I argue hard for my view hoping to keep others from bringing up opinions that would be a waste of energy to discussanyway.

26. Even when things get tense, I adapt quickly to how others are responding to me and try a new strategy.

27. When I find that I’m at cross purposes with someone, I often keep trying to win my way rather than looking for common ground.

28. When things don’t go well, I’m more inclined to see the mistakes others made than notice my own role.

29. After I share strong opinions, I go out of my way to invite others to share their views, particularly opposing ones.

30. When others hesitate to share their views, I do whatever I can to make it safe for them to speak honestly.

31. Sometimes I have to discuss things I thought had been settled because I don’t keep track of what was discussed before.

32. I find myself in situations where people get their feelings hurt because they thought they would have more of a say in finaldecisions than they end up having.

33. I get frustrated sometimes at how long it takes some groups to make decisions because too many people are involved.

Masking T/F Controlling T/F

5 ( T ) 1 7 ( T ) 1

6 ( T ) 1 8 ( T ) 0

Avoiding Labeling

3 ( T ) 1 9 ( T ) 1

4 ( T ) 0 10 ( T ) 0

Withdrawing Attacking

1 ( T ) 0 11 ( T ) 0

2 ( T ) 0 12 ( T ) 1

Silence Total 3 Violence Total 3

Start with Heart 13 ( F ) 19 ( F ) 25 ( F )

STATE My Path 17 ( T ) 23 ( F ) 29 ( T )

Learn to Look 14 ( F ) 20 ( T ) 26 ( T )

Explore Others’ Paths 18 ( T ) 24 ( T ) 30 ( T )

Make It Safe 15 ( T ) 21 ( T ) 27 ( F )

Move to Action 31 ( F ) 32 ( F ) 33 ( F )

Master My Stories 16 ( T ) 22 ( F ) 28 ( F )

Your Style Under Stress What you need to Develop

State Your Path- Share Facts- Tell Your Story- Asks for others Path- Talk Tentatively- Encourage Testing

1.Masking – Consists of understating or selectively showing our true opinions. Sarcasm, sugarcoating, and couching are some of the more popular forms.2.Avoiding – Involves steering completely away from sensitive subjects. We talk, but without addressing the real issues.3.Withdrawing – Means pulling out of a conversation altogether. We either exit the conversation or exit the room.4.Controlling – Consists of coercing others to your way of thinking. It’s done through either forcing your views on others or dominating the conversation. Methods include cutting others off, overstating facts, speaking in absolutes, changing subjects, or using directive questions to control the conversation.5.Labeling – Is putting a label on people or ideas so we can dismiss them under a general stereotype or category.6.Attacking – You’ve moved from winning the argument to making the person suffer. Tactics include belittling and threatening.

Six Styles under Stress

• Keep Your Cool – Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep Breath

• "Fly Like an Eagle” – Its not your Problem, Understand Intentions

• Shift from Being Reactive to Proactive – Let them know your path

• Pick Your Battles – You do not have to win, but never be the victim

• Separate the Person From the Issue – People are People, they Litter

• Put the Spotlight on Them – Have you gave it enough thought?

• Use Appropriate Humor – Release Stress Gently

• Change from Following to Leading – Expose the Power and Control

• Confront Bullies (Safely) – Every action has a reaction, do not wake the dragon

• Set Consequence – Think of what’s next

How to Deal with Difficult People?

Tell Me More…

Magical Sentences…To get unstuck

That’s Interesting

Why would you Say that? Do that? Ask that?…

What you think this is leading to?…

I am sure you understand/feel when I say…

Reaching this state, don’t you think we better…

The Art of Listening

What is listening ?

Listening is the absorption of the meanings of words and sentences by the brain. Listening leads

to the understanding of facts and ideas.

Importance of listening

“If we were supposed to talk more than listen, we would have been given two mouths and one ear.”

Mark Twain

Co-relation between Listening and Speaking

9%

16%

30%

45%

0%

5%

10%

15%

20%

25%

30%

35%

40%

45%

50%

Writing Reading Speaking Listening

Various stages to listening

• Hearing

• Focusing on the message not the person

• Comprehending and interpreting

• Analyzing and Evaluating

• Responding

• Remembering

Techniques of active listening

PARAPHRASE

Restate what was said in your own

words

SUMMARIZE

Pull together the main points of a

speaker

QUESTION

Challenge speaker to think further, clarifying

both your and their understanding, however

suspend judgement

Path for good communication

Listen to Understand

Understand before

speaking

Speak to be understood

Seek understanding

before proceeding

Repeat

Our Listen Methodology

Thank you for your time