chavrusa pack 3

8/14/2019 Chavrusa Pack 3

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Chavrusa resource packPreview version

Summer 5768/2008


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''Tammuz 5768

July 2008

Dear Madrich/a,

One of the most important parts of the fellowships programme is the chavrusa /chabura sessions that take place a number of times over the course of the programme.

Invariably these sessions are the participants first opportunity to have a meaningfulexperience of Talmud Torah and will hopefully provide a catalyst to a continuedrelationship with Torah study.

As such, some madrichim/ot are often at a loss as to what to learn with theirchavrusas and find the preparation of such sessions to be quite challenging.

We have therefore put together some sample sessions for you, these sessions should beused as guidelines rather than rigorous class plans. You should feel free to use andadapt them as you wish. Similarly the speed and amount covered will vary greatlyfrom chavrusa to chavrusa depending on the experience and skill level of the peopleinvolved.

It is important to remember that the purpose of these chavrusa sessions is not toimpart information, but rather to introduce the participants to the experience ofTorah study. You should therefore not feel under any pressure to move faster than you

are both comfortable with, and should take the time to discuss the points learnt andto draw practical lessons from them where possible.

As you can see these sessions vary in style, this is because we recognise that whichChazal say , weappreciate everyones G-d given differences and individuality and as such we have todevelop their connection to Torah suitably.

This pack is a prototype version, and we would greatly appreciate your feedback, bothpositive and negative so that we can improve this for future years.

I would like to thank R Yitzchak Coopersmith, R Doniel Baron, Mrs Ora Goldberg, Mrs

Sara Kalmus, Mrs Debbie Paster, R Daniel Rowe and Mr Josh Steele for theircontributions to this publication.

Wishing you much success on this summers programmes.

.

Rabbi Jonny Roodyn

[email protected]

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mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]


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Table of contents

Introduction On being a chavrusa

Section A - Chumash

Session 1 Avraham Avinu and Independence

Session 2 The purpose of the creation of man

Session 3 The relationship between men and women

Section B Bein Adam Le Chavero (from thesources)

Session 4 When the judge is ... you!

Session 5 Revenge is sweet.

Section C Pirkei Avos

Session 6 Who is the greatest

Session 7 Merely passing through

Section D Hashkafa

Session 8 Lifes final exam

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Introduction.

On being a Chavrusa.

TAKENFROM THEEYEOFANEEDLE

By: Rabbi Yitzchak Coopersmith

YOUR GOALS:

Your goal as a chavrusa is to try to facilitate the spiritual growth of the person

with whom you are studying.

This may sound unnecessarily obvious. However, we have found that many

people often end up simply disseminating information rather than helping the

student get more involved with Jewish life.

We have identified three facets of the chavrusa relationship that, for optimum

success, should all be undertaken concurrently.

A. Teach the student what his heart desires.1 Your student should feel that he

is gaining what he wants from the chavrusaship. This may be an understanding

of a particular holiday and its customs, how to daven, or an area of Jewish

philosophy. Avoid imposing your agenda or interests on the student.

B. Use your time together to help him grow, not just learn . Although any

Torah learning is going to affect a student, in order to evoke permanent lifestyle

changes, you must highlight the relevance and truthfulness of Torah Judaism.

1 Avoda Zara 19a

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Build your chavrusas understanding that only through Torah will he achieve true

fulfillment. Try to show him that Torah is Min haShamayim. Remove any

misconceptions that make him think a Torah life will be less satisfying than his

current lifestyle.

To the average person, this may appear a daunting task. However, you do not

have to accomplish these educational goals all by yourself. You can direct your

chavrusa to books, tapes, seminars or outreach professionals.

C. Develop a personal relationship with your chavrusa2. If you become a

friend as well as a study partner, you will have more impact. Share more than

Torah study with him. Share your home, your family, and your time. To really get

comfortable with Torah Judaism, the student needs to see and experience it in

action. Make an effort to have your chavrusa over for Shabbos or Yom Tov.

Create ways to spend time together outside your study time.

People who take a chavrusa sometimes feel frustrated with their lack of progress.

This is because they only undertake the first step of the kiruv process, "Teach the

student" They must incorporate the other two steps, as well.

ATTITUDES AND EXPECTATIONS

Although your goal should be to stimulate tangible progress in observance, be

careful never to pressure, browbeat or badger your chavrusa into changing. Not

only is this unethical; it is highly ineffective.

The mitzvah of3must be done gently, and in a way that does not shame or

embarrass the person. This is not rebuke! Give your chavrusa a chance to learn

2 Pirkei Avos 1123 Rambam, Hilchos Deos 6:8

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right from wrong. If, during your first session, you bombard him with 613 mitzvos,

thousands of Rabbinical prohibitions and innumerable customs, this is likely to be

your last meeting with him.

Chazal teach us " "4 , The study of

Torah is greater than all other mitzvos because study leads to practice. Change

comes from understanding. When we convey the relevance, beauty, depth and

truth of Judaism and correct damaging misconceptions, the students level of

observance will naturally increase. It will flow and develop genuinely from his

newfound clarity.

Torah speaks for itself. We must recognize its power. Out job is to get the

message across clearly. If we do, Torah will make the impact.

Sincere Caring

Most importantly, you must truly care about the person you are teaching.

One Sukkos, on a Jerusalem bus, someone asked a non-religious Jew if he

wanted to perform the mitzvah of shaking the four species. The person quickly

refused.

At the next stop, a second person asked this same fellow if he would like to

shake the four species. The non-religious Jew donned the other mans yarmulke

and said the proper blessing.

The first man was puzzled by what he saw. "Why," he asked, "was my offer

rejected and the second mans accepted?"

4 Rambam, Hilchos Talmud Torah 1:3

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The non-religious Jew told him, There are two types of Jews. Those who want to

getmitzvos and those who want to give mitzvos. I sensed that you wanted to get

a mitzvah, while he wanted to give a mitzvah.

Be certain that in deciding to become a chavrusa, it is because you want the

pleasure of giving, not getting. If you see your student only as a mitzvah project,

he will quickly sense your insincerity.

Patience. The Midrash relates that Rabbi Akiva once passed by a waterfall and

noticed an odd looking rock with a hole bored right through the center. When he

looked up, Rabbi Akiva realized that the rock had been pierced by a continual

flow of drops of water from the waterfall above.

He thought to himself: If water, which is soft, can bore a hole through a rock,

which is hard, all the more so Torah, which is fire, can make an impression on the

heart of man, which is soft.

This realization gave Rabbi Akiva the confidence and motivation to become the

great Sage he grew to be.5

Let us take a lesson from Rabbi Akiva. He realized that despair has no place in

the arena of learning. A drop of water, that appears to have no impact, can

eventually bore a hole through a rock. All the more potent is the impact of Torah.

Although undiscernibly, every drop leaves an impression, until eventually it

causes a breakthrough noticeable to all.

We never know when this breakthrough will happen. But that is not our business.

All we have to do is be patient and keep the drops of Torah flowing.

5 Avos DReb Nosson 6:2

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EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

Have respect for you students. They are intelligent people, who, through their

experiences, have gathered much wisdom about life. Just because they do not

have a Yeshiva education does not mean they do not have very insightful

comments and opinions. Chazal teach us in Pirkei Avos, Who is a wise man?

One who learns from every man.

Teach, dont preach. A preacher expects his students to blindly acceptwhat he

espouses, not because he has explained his position. A teacher, on the other

hand, shows his students the rationale of his position so they can judge it for

themselves. Unlike the preacher, the teacher wants independent, thinking

students.

Be a teacher to your chavrusa. No intelligent, normal person likes to be preached

at.

Be honest. If you are not sure how to answer a question, dont panic. Being a

chavrusa does not mean you must know everything there is to know about

Judaism. At times you'll need to seek outside assistance. Do your best to get an

answer by the next time you meet, or bring some other resource, whether a

person, book or tape, to help answer the question. No chavrusaship has ever

ended because the student found his teacher did not know everything.

Create an open atmosphere. It is essential that your discussions take place in a

comfortable, non-threatening environment. Create this kind of atmosphere by

encouraging your student to ask any question, express any doubt and even voice

any criticism. Never allow yourself to feel personally attacked by a question.

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Do not be judgmental or condescending. Many people avoid talking to Orthodox

Jews because they feel they are being looked down upon. Unfortunately, this

perception is sometimes accurate and not merely imagined.

Always remember that you can never judge another person; only G-d can. The

person sitting before you may be a better person and closer to G-d, even though

he is unaware of all the details of observance.

Listen. Listening is a sensitivity which needs to be developed. Wait for cues from

your chavrusa before presenting information. You do not wish to make him feel

pressured to make a stronger commitment to Torah. The student must always be

the one in control.

Being an effective listener means more than just paying attention. Tune in to your

students values, needs, likes and dislikes. Try to uncover what it is that has

distanced him from Judaism, as well as what would attract him. Be sensitive to

his facial expressions and tone of voice. Does it say, I am interested; tell me

more, or, I need more time to evaluate what you are saying. If you present too

much too soon, or step too hard on his perceptions and attitudes, you may turn

him off. So tune in, and be aware of how he's responding.

Dont debate. Do not be quick on the draw to destroy your chavrusas ideas or

beliefs. If you sense you are offending him, step back and try a softer approach.

Our goal is to build bridges, not barricades. If, for example, your chavrusa says

that assimilation will solve anti-Semitism, you can disagree with him without

ridiculing his opinion.

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What to Teach

Make it relevant. Chazal advise a person to learn what his heart desires.6 If your

student has very clear-cut interests then, by all means, study those subjects with

him. It is most important that the student feels he is benefiting from the

interaction. The student is more likely to find the experience worthwhile if he is

learning what he wants to know.

Avoid making your teaching academic. Dont treat the Torah as a text book. Treat

it as wisdom, as Toras Chaim, instructions for living. Search out what it is that

G-d is trying to teach us to enable us to accomplish our purpose in life. Try to

show your chavrusa the wisdom and power of Jewish living. As he compares

Torah ideas with those of secular society, he will begin to consider incorporating

Torah values in his life.

Don't give numerous mefarshim on one pasuk. Keep the focus on one point and

get right to the core of the matter. Most beginners will not value knowing what the

Ramban says on a particularly difficult passage in Chumash. The students do not

know who the Ramban is and cannot appreciate his greatness. The only ideas

they will value are those that seem to be immediately relevant to their lives.

How to Teach

If at all possible, try to use either Chumash or Pirkei Avos as texts for your

chavrusaship. They are among the best sources to convey the practical, relevant

wisdom of Judaism. Even if your chavrusa has a different interest, ask him if

he'd like to allot a part of your time together to study one of these texts.

6Avoda Zara 19a

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Use questions to provoke interest and a desire for answers. A concept which

comes as an answer to a question is more appreciated than a concept you

introduce on your own. In other words, first create a need for your information.

Then proceed to fill it. This will also involve the student in the learning process

instead of making him a passive audience.

In preparing a passage to teach, ask yourself the following questions:

a. Are there obvious redundancies in the passage?

b. Is it grammatically correct?

c. Are there logical problems?

d. Is there unnecessary information?

e. Are there unnecessary words?

f. Are necessary words missing?

g. Is necessary information missing?

h. Is this how you would have conveyed the idea?

i. What is the Torah trying to teach me?

j. How can I apply this lesson to my life?

k. If I would live by this lesson, how would my life be different?

Before you look to meforshim to answer these difficulties, try to develop your

own explanations. Then see if any of your ideas are validated by the

commentaries. Using an explanation that you discovered on your own will make

your presentation more ardent and forceful, and will make a greater impact on

your student.

Gear your presentation to three or four major ideas that can be understood and

internalized by the student. Dont overload. Each idea should be accompanied

with illustrations that drive your point home.

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Your class format should be as follows:

a. Question

b. Answer

c. Illustrate that your answer is true

d. Draw relevant conclusions and implications for the students life

e. Repeat A_D for the next point

To the best of your ability, put yourself in your students shoes. What are his

issues? From what context does he view the world? The better you do that, the

more you will understand your student and be able to target your information to

hit home.

Educate According to His Way

When teaching secular subjects, our goal is to give the student a grasp of the

ideas and concepts. When we teach Judaism, however, we have an additional

aim: to motivate the student to internalize the concepts and make them part of

his being.

In explaining how to be an effective educator, Chazel tell us, "

"7 To reach each student, pay careful attention to his personal inclinations.

In an essay called in Michtav MEliyahu (Chelek Bais), Rav Dessler

ztl describes three internal drives that motivate people to action: , and

.

Rav Dessler explains that each of the Avos embodied one of these

characteristics and made it the dominant theme of his Avodas Hashem.

7Mishlei 22:6

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Yaakovs main drive was Torah. His primary desire was understanding and

comprehension. The 14 years he spent in uninterrupted study at the Yeshiva of

Shem and Ever demonstrates Yaakovs unquenchable thirst for truth.

In the personality of a secular, twentieth-century Jew, this drive is likely to be

manifest in a strong interest in intellectual pursuits such as philosophy, reading,

intellectual discussions, academic or analytical professions. Spare time would

probably be spent pursuing interests that lead to intellectual development.

Yitzchaks midah was . His primary motivation was the desire to carry out

his responsibilities. His willingness to be a sacrifice to Hashem was symbolic of

the dedication of every fiber of his being to a greater cause.

The gevura driven people are the doers of the world. A secular Jew does not

have a concept of G-ds will as the right thing to do. Therefore his energies

and abilities are likely to be invested in causes that appeal to him as morally

imperative and demanding action. These people also have a tendency to be

drawn by causes that society deems necessary or fashionable. They look to

society as the arbiter of good and bad.

Avraham embodied the trait of Chesed, through which he expressed his primary

drive: pleasure. Avraham understood that the greatest possible pleasure is

closeness to G-d, Ahavas Hashem, and that the best way to attain that

pleasure is to emulate G-d by giving pleasure to others.

People with chesed drives are the pleasure seekers. In pursuit of spiritual

pleasures, the Chesed personality is often drawn to transcendental meditation,

communing with nature, holistic living, environmental radicalism and mysticism.

Without the balanced approach to spirituality that Judaism supplies, these

people tend to be less grounded and practical than others. Furthermore, lacking

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the sophistication to achieve truly sublime pleasure, many of these people

misdirect their energies and spend their lives fruitlessly seeking an experience

in all sorts of temporal, illusory pleasures.

As their offspring and spiritual heirs, each of us is born with a drive similar to

either Avraham, Yitzchak or Yaakov. Understanding these drives and how they

operate within people will help us teach students according to their way and

attract them to the personal benefits they will gain from Judaism.

Determining a persons orientation is not a simple thing to do. However, with a

little guidance and concentrated effort, it is possible to become adept at this in a

relatively short time.

In order to determine the inclination of your student, you must become an active

listener. Once you are mentally attuned to this, you will find that people volunteer

a lot of clues in everyday conversation about what drives them. The ways they

spend their time, conduct their lives and choose their professions are all

valuable indicators of specific predilections. Answers to direct questions about

what motivated people to make various major choices in their lives (i.e.

profession, spouse, etc.) will also help identify their primary motivations.

Teach Him According to His Way

In order to successfully incorporate the advice of our Sages, Educate according

to his way, try to be on the lookout for the students particular drive. Then point

out different ways Judaism satisfies that drive.

For the Torah personality (drive for understanding), demonstrate the wisdom

and depth uniquely available in the Torah. Torah is the blueprint of creation and

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the source of all understanding. To understand the Torah is to understand the

world.

For the Gevura personality, (drive to do the right thing), focus on the

responsibility to learn about Judaism and to know whether the Torah is true, in

order to determine what obligations one has to himself, his children and his

community. You can also point out our responsibility to our ancestors, who

sacrificed so much to insure that their children and grandchildren would remain

Jewish.

For the Chesed personality, accentuate the pleasures and beauty of the Jewish

lifestyle, the warmth and sense of belonging in the community, and the spiritual

pleasure and fulfillment available through Torah.

Remember to factor in these drives when you try to interest the students in a

particular activity, whether it be inviting him for Shabbos or bringing him to a

class. Explain how the activity will be satisfying in terms of his particular

interests. Keep these drives in mind when you suggest types of programs or

people to appeal to the student.

Note of Caution: People are sometimes skeptical about using personality

identification systems because they seem superficial and open to abuse. Indeed,

instead of using a system as a way to broaden ones understanding of people,

some readers misinterpret it as a definitive and all-encompassing

characterization of a person. Rather than relating to the unique qualities inherent

in each individual, they try to fit each person into the textbook caricature.

Obviously, this is an improper use of the system and is certainly not our goal in

presenting it. This system is meant only as a beginning tool. While Chazal tell us

that the existence of three distinct traits is a very real phenomenon, we must

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always take into account the many influences and complexities that shape the

interests and characters of the people we are dealing with.

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Session 1

Avraham Avinu and Independence

Goal: Seeing how important it is to become independent of the ideas, habits, beliefs,

which have formed you. This is important for two reasons:

a. It is important because it is a crucial element of being good. Without this trait

it is impossible to grow, learn, or to do teshuva.

b. It is crucially important for students progress toward observance that they be

willing to change, to separate themselves emotionally from the expectations

of friends and family, and to live and believe in ways foreign to themselves

and to others.

Secondary goal: Beginning to undermine the confidence of secular student that they

are reasonable and we the religious are fanatics. Instead they begin to recognize the

many ways in which their own lives are unexamined.

Tertiary goal: Building credibility for the Torah and teaching students to appreciate its

brilliance and relevance.

II. Beginning to learn:

1. Give them an introduction to what they are about to read including the following

elements:

a. Abraham was the first Jew. Before him there were no Jews.

b. Abraham did not grow up as a Jew. He lived in the part of the world, which is

now Iraq in a society that was idolatrous.

c. Led by his perception of the order and beauty of the world Abraham came to

the conclusion that there must be a G-d.

d. Abraham taught his contemporaries that idolatry was false. Because this was

threatening to the society in which Abraham lived he was persecuted.

e. It is after all of these events, which are not recorded in the text of the Torah

but are reported by the Talmud, that the story we are about to read occurs.

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- - -

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1 Now G-d said unto Abram: 'Get out of your country, and from your kindred, and from

thy father's house, unto the land that I will show you. 2 And I will make of you a great

nation, and I will bless you, and make thy name great; and be thou a blessing. 3 And I

will bless them that bless you, and him that curses you will I curse; and in you shall allthe families of the earth be blessed.' 4 So Abram went, as the G-d had spoken unto him;

and Lot went with him; and Abram was seventy and five years old when he departed out

of Haran. 5 And Abram took Sarai his wife, and Lot his brother's son, and all their

substance that they had gathered, and the souls that they had made in Haran; and they

went forth to go into the land of Canaan; and into the land of Canaan they came. 6 And

Abram passed through the land unto the place of Shechem, unto the Plain of Moreh. And

the Canaanite was then in the land. 7 And the G-d appeared unto Abram, and said: 'Unto

your seed will I give this land'; and he built there an altar unto G-d, who appeared unto

him. 8 And he removed from thence unto the mountain on the east of Beth-el, and pitched

his tent, having Beth-el on the west, and Ai on the east; and he built there an altar unto

the G-d, and called upon the name of the G-d. 9 And Abram journeyed, going on still

toward the South.

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Why do you think G-d told Avraham to leave behind his land, country, and family?

There are two possible directions in which the response may go:

a. G-d is testing Avraham. If they suggest that G-d is testing Avraham you

question why G-d would test him. They will say because "He wants to see if

Avraham really trusts Him. You will want to point out that G-d already knows

who Avraham is and that the point of a test is not for G-d but for Avraham,

giving Avraham the opportunity to grow and realize his potential. This is very

important because you are beginning to underline the idea that G-d loves us

and everything that He does is for our good.

"Fine it's a test, but why test him in this way?"

b. Sometimes the class will jump straight to this point. Someone will suggest

that G-d wants Avraham to start fresh in a new place. You ask why that's so

important. After you have given them a chance to suggest explanations here

is the place for your own mini-lecture.

1. Point out that G-d's command to Avraham is repetitive: "Leave your

land, your birthplace, your father's house." If you leave your land youdefinitely leave your father's house. Explain that the intent of the

command is not only that Avraham should physically leave these

behind but that he should leave them emotionally and psychologically

as well.

2. Point out that we are shaped by many factors: We are Jews, late 20th

century, upper middle class, educated etc. All of these have made us

who we are. If we want to be ourselves we have to strip these

elements away.

Illustrations:

a. Everyone knows that fashion changes rapidly. Men's clothing, women's

hemlines are continually changing. People's beliefs and values also change

very rapidly. Before the Civil War everyone south of the Mason-Dixon line was

pro-slavery and everyone north of the Mason-Dixon line was anti-slavery. It

isn't that bad people go south and good people go north. In the industrial

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north where slavery was not necessary economically everyone was convinced

that slavery was evil. In the south where slavery was the foundation of the

economy good and honest people were convinced that slavery moral.

b. For thousands of years everyone was convinced that monarchy was the ideal

form of government and that democracy was foolishness. No one any longer

believes in monarchy. How can it have been so obvious to everyone what now

is obvious to us is false.

c. 40 years ago abortion was considered murder. Now it's taken for granted that

enlightened people are pro-choice.

d. Final and most powerful example: There was an experiment done at Yale

University some years ago by Dr. Stanley Milgrom. Dr. Milgrom told the

experiment's subjects they were participating in an experiment on how

punishment affected people's ability to learn. They were introduced to a man

who they were told would attempt to memorize a list of words (in fact this

man was Milgrom's collaborator in the experiment.) Every time this man

made a mistake in memorization the real subject of the experiment was

asked to push a button giving increasingly strong electric shocks (in fact of

course no actual shock was given.) The great majority of subjects continued

to give electric shocks to the point where they believed they had killed the

student.

Punch line: The experiment demonstrates that you don't have to be evil or sadistic to

put people into gas chambers. You have to be completely normal and just not be

independent enough to ask whether what you're doing is moral or not. G-d's

command to Avraham was to become independent.

Follow-up: G-d tells Avraham if he follows his command he will be a blessing to the

world. The Jewish people have been a blessing to the world because they have given

the world the idea of conscience. The Jews are continually championing the rights of

the underdogs and of the downtrodden.

Follow-up 2: This is the traditional understanding of anti-semitism. People hate the

Jews because they represent conscience. In a collection of some his conversations

called Table Talk Hitler is quoted saying: "The struggle for world-domination is

between me and the Jews. All else is meaningless. The Jews have inflicted two

wounds on the world. Circumcision for the body and conscience for the soul. I come

to free mankind from their shackles.

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Follow-up 3: Unless you examine what you believe and why you believe it, it will be

an accident whether you turn out to be a good or an evil man. Even if circumstances

don't put you into a position of great evil see Follow-up4.

Follow-up 4: In every line of work there are common business practices which are

totally taken for granted and yet everyone knows they're wrong: lying, taking home

office supplies, personal calls on office time and office phones etc. etc. illustrate from

whatever your line of work and ask students for examples from their own

experience.

III. Questions your class may ask:

a. What is the difference between blindly following your society and blindly following

G-d? Don't people justify the most awful and immoral things by saying they're doing

G-d's will?

Answer: (1) You are absolutely right. Everyone is obligated to consider how they

know that what they believe is right. It's an obligation for orthodox Jews just as

much as it's an obligation for christians or for people who are secular. This is an

extremely important point because it demonstrates that we are open minded,

reasonable, and self-critical. (2) An independent person doesn't insist on doing what

he wants to do. He does what is right, whoever told him to do it, or even if it goes

against what everyone tells him. Someone who insists on constantly disobeying his

father for example isn't independent at all because he needs to constantly assert his

freedom to do what he wants. If there is a G-d an independent person would listen to

G-d. Whether in fact there is a G-d or not is another question.

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Sess ion 2.The Purpose of the Creation of Man

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- . - - -

-. -

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1 In the beginning G-d created the heaven and the earth. 2 Now the earth was unformedand void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep; and the spirit of G-d hovered overthe face of the waters. 3 And G-d said: 'Let there be light.' And there was light. 4 And G-dsaw the light, that it was good; and G-d divided the light from the darkness. 5 And G-dcalled the light Day, and the darkness He called Night. And there was evening and therewas morning, one day.

6 And G-d said: 'Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide thewaters from the waters.' 7 And G-d made the firmament, and divided the waters whichwere under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament; and it wasso. 8 And G-d called the firmament Heaven. And there was evening and there wasmorning, a second day.

9 And G-d said: 'Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, andlet the dry land appear.' And it was so. 10 And G-d called the dry land Earth, and thegathering together of the waters called He Seas; and G-d saw that it was good. 11 And G-d said: 'Let the earth put forth grass, herb yielding seed, and fruit-tree bearing fruit afterits kind, wherein is the seed thereof, upon the earth.' And it was so. 12 And the earth

brought forth grass, herb yielding seed after its kind, and tree bearing fruit, wherein is theseed thereof, after its kind; and G-d saw that it was good. 13 And there was evening andthere was morning, a third day.

14 And G-d said: 'Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the dayfrom the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days and years; 15 andlet them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth.' And itwas so. 16 And G-d made the two great lights: the greater light to rule the day, and thelesser light to rule the night; and the stars. 17 And G-d set them in the firmament of theheaven to give light upon the earth, 18 and to rule over the day and over the night, and to

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divide the light from the darkness; and G-d saw that it was good. 19 And there wasevening and there was morning, a fourth day.

20 And G-d said: 'Let the waters swarm with swarms of living creatures, and let fowl flyabove the earth in the open firmament of heaven.' 21 And G-d created the great sea-monsters, and every living creature that creepeth, wherewith the waters swarmed, after itskind, and every winged fowl after its kind; and G-d saw that it was good. 22 And G-dblessed them, saying: 'Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and letfowl multiply in the earth.' 23 And there was evening and there was morning, a fifth day.

24 And G-d said: 'Let the earth bring forth the living creature after its kind, cattle, andcreeping thing, and beast of the earth after its kind.' And it was so. 25 And G-d made thebeast of the earth after its kind, and the cattle after their kind, and every thing thatcreepeth upon the ground after its kind; and G-d saw that it was good. 26 And G-d said:'Let us make man in our image, after our likeness; and let them have dominion over thefish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, andover every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.' 27 And G-d created man in Hisown image, in the image of G-d created He him; male and female created He them. 28And G-d blessed them; and G-d said unto them: 'Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenishthe earth, and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl ofthe air, and over every living thing that creepeth upon the earth.' 29 And G-d said:'Behold, I have given you every herb yielding seed, which is upon the face of all theearth, and every tree, in which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed--to you it shall be forfood; 30 and to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thingthat creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is a living soul, [I have given] every greenherb for food.' And it was so. 31 And G-d saw every thing that He had made, and, behold,it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.

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SOURCES

Day One: G-d creates light.

Genesis 1:4 G-d saw that the light was good.Third Day: G-d creates waters and dry land.

Genesis 1:10 And G-d saw that it was good.Fourth Day: G-d creates luminaries sun, moon, stars.Genesis 1:18 And G-d saw that it was good.

Fifth Day: G-d creates fish and birds.

Genesis 1:21 And G-d saw that it was good.Sixth Day: G-d creates animals.

Genesis 1:25 And G-d saw that it was good.

G-d creates man.

Genesis 1:31 And G-d saw all that he had made, and behold, it was very good.

QUESTION: Everything else is called good but after the creation of man, G-dsays it was very good. Why? What does the very mean?

Midrash Rabba on Genesis 1:31: If not for the Yetzer Hara, man would notbuild a house, get married, have children or do business.

------------------------------------------------

G-d commands Adam.

Genesis 2:17: But of the tree of Knowledge of Good and Bad, you must noteat.

QUESTION: What is this tree? What does it represent? What is good and bad?

--------------------------------------------------The serpent.

Genesis 3:1 Now the serpent was cunning beyond any beast of the field thatHashem, G-d, had made. He said to the woman, Did, perhaps, G-d say: You shall

not eat of any tree of the garden?

QUESTION: What does the serpent represent? What tricks does he use topersuade Eve to eat from the tree?

---------------------------------------------------

Eating from the tree.

Genesis 3:6: And the woman perceived that the tree was good for eating andthat it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable as a means to

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wisdom, and she took of its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her

and he ate.

QUESTION: What changed when they ate it? What does eating represent? Whatdid she perceive about the tree?

----------------------------------------------------

The first commandment.

Genesis 2:16: And G-d commanded the man, saying, Of all the trees of thegarden you should freely eat.

QUESTION: What does this tell us about the goal of life?

DISCUSSION: This verse, and not do not eat from the tree was the firstcommandment given to man. This tells us that the world was created for us, to useit for our needs. Only secondary to this is do not eat from the Tree of Knowledge

of Good & Evil. This gives a whole new view of creation. Rather than beingcreated and placed in a world of prohibitions, we see that actually we were placedin a world of all the trees of the garden and encouraged to partake. Why, then,was there still that one tree we couldnt eat from?

-----------------------------------------------

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NOTES

Read through and briefly discuss all the sources first, considering the leading questionsand probably developing more questions as you go. The more questions the better! Leavethe main explanation part until after the last source has been read, when questions have

been created and everyone is listening for answers.

MAIN DISCUSSION:

Points to bring in:

Mans creation was very good because the world was created for man. (But we

still havent said what man is meant to do with it.)

Initially, man was a 100% spiritual, good being, and bad/negativity/non-

spirituality was external to man (represented by the serpent).

The serpent alters G-ds words to Eve to make them seem more restrictive than

they are (all the trees, you shall neither eat of it nor touch it) and introduces

doubt (did, perhaps, G-d say, lest you die). When they ate from the tree, bad was internalised to them. (Eating =

internalising.) They had experiential knowledge of both good and bad hence thename of the tree.

Thus man has 2 opposing urges to do good/rise spiritually and not to do

good/sink spiritually. (Yetzer hatov & hara find a way youre comfortable withreferring to these in English Evil Inclination is not so user-friendly.

The good of it was very good refers to mans yetzer hatov. The very of it was

very good, refers to the yetzer hara, which increases the goodness because itenables mankind to have a constant battle, to use our free will to grow, constantlystrive to improve ourselves, which is the purpose of creation. (This is what theMidrash Rabba on Bereishis means.) The very denotes excess or plenty themore mans efforts to acquire much power, strength, property, and wealth(motivated by his yetzer hara, jealousy, desire, etc) the more man achieves and themore goodness. (Obviously, goodness is only achieved if its channelled the rightway.)

------------------------------------------------

Points to have on hand and use if relevant:

The question may arise as to why we make so much fuss over just one word

very. This could be a good time to point out that G-d doesnt waste words in theTorah & that here is a prime example of how we learn things from it.

The question may arise as to why G-d does not call the 2 nd day good. I believe

this is because the concept of division, dissention, etc was created on that daywith the separation of the water and land. Although this is a necessary part ofcreation as a whole, for the purpose of mans growth (yetzer hara v. yetzer tov,free will, etc), it is the opposite of unity and as such could not be called good.

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The question may arise as to why we werent supposed to stay like Adam, 100%

spiritual or why didnt we start like we are now, with free will? You couldexplain how the whole Torah is an instruction manual for life, and this andeverything else that is recorded in the Torah is for us to learn from. Clearly, to see

what mankind is here for, the part of the instruction manual to look in is the partwhere mankind first appears. Later sections explain finer points of how to achievethat goal, and you could cite examples.

The question may arise as to how something called bad/ra can be the best

(very good) part of creation and its whole purpose. This could be a good time totalk about how that which seems negative is really good if we can only see it inthe right way, how challenges are a chessed from G-d, a test designed just for usto help us grow to the max, etc.

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Sess ion 3The Relationship between Man and Woman

SOURCES

- -

. - - -

- - - -

. -

. -

-

. - - - . -

-. -

. - - -

.

18 And the LORD G-d said: 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make hima help meet for him.' 19 And out of the ground the LORD G-d formed every beast of thefield, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto the man to see what he would callthem; and whatsoever the man would call every living creature, that was to be the namethereof. 20 And the man gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to everybeast of the field; but for Adam there was not found a help meet for him. 21 And theLORD G-d caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; and He took one of hisribs, and closed up the place with flesh instead thereof. 22 And the rib, which the LORDG-d had taken from the man, made He a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 Andthe man said: 'This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be calledWoman, because she was taken out of Man.' 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and

his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh. 25 And they wereboth naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed

Adam identifies the animals:

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Genesis 2:20: And Adam assigned names to all the cattle and to the birds ofthe sky and to every beast of the field; but as for Adam, he did not find a helper

against him.

QUESTIONS: Why was this exercise necessary? What did Adam realise about

himself and the animals?

----------------------------------------------

G-d decides to make a woman:

Genesis 2:18: It is not good that Adam be alone.I will make a helper againsthim.

QUESTION S:Did the all knowing G-d make a mistake here, did He not realise that it

wouldnt be good for Adam to be alone, or that Adam wouldnt find company among theanimals? Why didnt He create Adam and Eve together at first?What on earth is a helper against him? How can something against him

be a help? Surely against would be a hindrance!

--------------------------------------------------

The creation of woman:

Genesis: 2:22: Then G-d built the rib/side that He had taken from the maninto a woman.

QUESTIONS: Why is the word built (vayiven) used to describe the making ofwoman? Why did woman come from mans rib or side?

--------------------------------------------------------

The ideal relationship between men and women:

Genesis 2:24: Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother andcleave to his wife and they shall become one flesh.

QUESTIONS:We see that this is basically how normal society operates. Whatmotivates people to leave their parents, where they have unconditional love and care, andlive instead with partners who expect much more from them?

--------------------------------------------------

The creation of man:

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Genesis 1:27: So G-d created Adam in His image, in the image of G-d Hecreated him;male and female He created them.

QUESTION: First Adam is called him and the next minute Adam is calledthem. What is Adam?

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NOTES

Read through and briefly discuss all the sources first, considering the leading questionsand probably developing more questions as you go. The more questions the better! Leavethe main explanation part until after the last source has been read, when questions have

been created and everyone is listening for answers.

MAIN DISCUSSION:

Points to bring in:

The last source prompts immediate attention the Adam that was first created

was male AND female. TOGETHER! It contained both male and female parts andas such was totally self-sufficient. Yes it was! This really is what it was! (Thatspretty surprising if youve never heard it before!)

Adam saw that all the animals had mates, and realised that in all the world there

was no equivalent to himself, & consequently felt lonely, felt a lack.

Adam therefore first had to experience the not good of being alone, to feel the

lack, to appreciate having a mate. This is the lack that every single human beingfeels when alone, that causes them to search for a partner.

Alone Adam was totally self sufficient. In separating Adam into two parts, G-d

created the opportunity for man to contribute to woman what she lacked and viceversa.

A helper against him: where 2 people are the same, they reinforce each other in

those areas. But for help with weaknesses a person needs someone whos strongwhere theyre weak. A stingy person needs to see a lot of generosity to learn howto be generous. A strict person would grow through a relationship with a moreflexible one. A very factual, intellect-driven person can benefit from knowing howa more sensitive, emotion-driven person operates, and vice versa. Woman is madeto have strengths where man has weaknesses and vice versa.

There are physical ways in which the female body is the opposite of the male. In

particular, if this was not the case, reproduction would not be possible. This iscertainly a way in which woman is a helper who is opposite to him. (knegdo =against or opposite). You could go further and discuss the male component ofreproduction which is microscopic, momentary, and outside of themselves, versusthe female contribution which is larger, takes longer, and internal to her. The pointto get across is that this is also reflected in character traits of man and woman. Ifyoure able to discuss this without blushing, its a very powerful point.

Woman was built from Adams tzela, variably translated as a side or a rib. Either

way it was from an internal part of Adam, since vayisgor basar tachtena.Therefore we learn that woman sees things from an internal perspective, is

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internal in many ways, see above point. Woman was built vayiven from thesame root as bina, internal form of understanding. This is backed up by theprevious point. This is also reflected in her ability to produce sons (banim another related word) (Kli Yakar)

The leaving of parents to cleave together is therefore because of the lack and thenot good inherent in being alone, the fact that men have strengths where womenhave weaknesses and vice versa, thus they feel each others absence andcomplement each other when together.

------------------------------------------------

Points to have on hand and use if relevant:

With regard to naming the animals, you could discuss how Hebrew words are

more than just sounds we associate with a particular object or thing, as they are inother languages. In Hebrew, a word identifies the essence of a thing. E.g. dog,

celev clev, an animal motivated by its heart. You could discuss what it is to have a soul, which strives for spirituality, and a

body with urges, which strives for the opposite. When naming, and thereforeidentifying the essence of the animals, Adam realised that they were motivatedonly by an instinct for survival food, warmth, reproduction physical, bodilyurges. On the other hand, he was motivated also by a desire to be good aspiritual urge, a soul.

The question may arise as to why woman was given the inferior role of helper.

While its valid to argue the value of chessed etc, it might be clearer to point outthat helpers are not always inferior such as maids, servants, cleaners but canbe superior with greater knowledge/ability which enables them to help such as

doctors, car mechanics, psychologists, mothers, G-d.

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Sess ion 4When the Judge is YOU!!!

Starting from the Torah1. Let us examine the following verse fromVayikra:

) ):

Do not commit a distortion of justice; do not favor the poor

nor honor the powerful, with fairness you must judge yourfellow man. )Vayikra 19:15(

/

Our Rabbis taught: With fairness, judge your fellow man - one partyshould not stand [in court] while the other sits; one party shall not beentitled to speak all he wants while the other is told to curtail his

words. Talmud Bavli, Shavuos 30a.

" - -

Also included in [the commandment] is that each person mustadjudicate Torah law when he has the opportunity, and that he shouldput disputes between litigants to rest. And [our Rabbis] explained thatthe [obligation] for one to judge his colleague is a Biblical imperative,as it says, With fairness judge your fellow man. Maimonides, the

Book of Mitzvos, Positive Commandment #177.

a( The Talmud offers an interpretation which relates toevery day life:

/"

1

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Another interpretation: With fairness, judge your fellowman one should judge his friend favorably. TalmudBavli, Shavuos 30a.

"

Jews are forbidden from regarding one another withsuspicion and must judge each other favorably, inaccordance with the statement of the sages: One who judges his friend favorably is judged favorably fromheaven.

We have seen three very different interpretations of this verse:)1( Guidelines for judicial fairness)2( A general obligation to administer justice)3( Judging favorably on a personal level

The Identity of the Individual Matters Consider the followingpassage from Pirkei Avos )Ethics of our Fathers(, one of the books ofthe Mishna.

, , . . . )(: ,

Rabbi Yehoshua ben Perachya said that one should make a master forhimself, acquire a friend, and judge every person favorably. Avos 1:6

The Rambam explains the passage as follows:

" - . ... ,

:

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Judge every person favorably. When you come across a person whomyou do not know to be righteous or wicked, and you see him performan action or say something that can be interpreted as positive ornegative, assume the positive and do not think negatively of him. Andwhen you do not know the person and there is no decisive

interpretation of the action, it is praiseworthy to judge toward thefavorable extreme. Rambam, Commentary on Avos 1:6

The Mishna seems to be telling us: If I do not know whether theperson is known to be righteous or wicked, or if I do not knowhim at all, it ispraiseworthyto give the person the benefit of thedoubt if there is any way to do so.

This approach is also followed by other medieval commentaries, suchas Rabbi Yona of Gerona:2

" . . .

And judge each person favorably. This refers to a person not known tobe righteous or wicked. Rabbi Yona of Gerona, Commentary onAvos 1:6

What if the person is not a stranger, but someone who I knowwell? Do I still have to give him the benefit of the doubt?

A. Righteous Person Take, for example, the case of the Tzadik, apersonwho is known to be righteous.

" - ,

. [ ]

But, if a person is publicly known to be righteous, and is known for

good deeds, and he does something that appears in all respects to bea negative action that can only be interpreted as a positive act withgreat difficulty by making an unlikely assumption, it is appropriate toassume that the act was a positive one. Since such an interpretation istechnically possible, it is forbidden to suspect him. And, as the Talmudsays, one who suspects a righteous person will be punished.Rambam,Commentary on Avos 1:6

2

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B. Wicked Person When the person is known to be a wicked person,or Rasha, the converse is true:

" -

And similarly, when the person is wicked, and his wicked deeds arepublicly known, and we observe him doing something that appears inall respects to be a positive action, and which can only be interpretedas a negative action with great difficulty by making an unlikelyassumption, it is appropriate to be wary of him, and not to believe thatthe action is positive, since there is the possibility that it is negative.

Rambam, ibid.

Summary of Rules To summarize, the identity of the individual inquestion matters:3

a) We must always give the Tzadikthe benefit of

the doubt, if at all possible.

b) We must always suspect the Rasha, even if heappears to be doing something good.

c( If the person is unknown, it is praiseworthy, butnot required, to give him the benefit of thedoubt.

3Defining a Tzadikor Rasha

Q Tzadik, righteous person, and Rasha, wicked person sound like extremecategories. How do we go about defining who must be judged favorably andwho should be judged negatively?

A For purposes ofBtzedek Tishpot, we do not use a classic definition. Weinstead determine status according to specific behaviors. A person whoexcels in a particular area is a Tzadik, with respect to that area. A personwho is negligent in a particular area is considered a Rasha, with respect tothat area. Interestingly, one can be a Tzadik in one area and Rasha inanother.

For example, a person may be a Tzadikwith regard to honoring to his parents, butthe same person may be considered a Rasha in monetary matters.

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Why Does Background Matter? If it is proper to judge peoplefavorably, what difference does the persons background make? Whyshould the identity of the protagonist matter?

The Sheiltos recounts:

"

Rabbi Akiva worked for Rabbi Eliezer ben Hurkenos for three years. Onthe eve of Yom Kippur, Rabbi Akiva was preparing to leave and bringhis wages home to his wife and children.

Rabbi Akiva asked Rabbi Eliezer for payment of his wages. RabbiEliezer replied that he had no money to give, although Rabbi Akiva sawthat he had money.

Pay me in livestock, suggested Rabbi Akiva. I have no livestock togive you, replied Rabbi Eliezer, although Rabbi Akiva saw that he had

livestock.

Pay me in grain, suggested Rabbi Akiva. I have no grain to payyou, replied Rabbi Eliezer, although Rabbi Akiva saw that he hadgrain.

Pay me in pillows and blankets, suggested Rabbi Akiva. I have nopillows and blankets to pay you, replied Rabbi Eliezer, although RabbiAkiva saw that he had pillows and blankets.

Pay me in land, suggested Rebbi Akiva. I have no land to pay you,

replied Rabbi Eliezer, although Rabbi Akiva saw he had land.

Dejected, Rabbi Akiva slung his meager possessions over his shoulder,and returned home.

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What did Rabbi Eliezer ben Hurkenos do? A few weeks later, after

Sukkos, he traveled to visit Rabbi Akiva, with three donkeys - onecarrying wine, one oil, and one food and delicacies. He also came withmoney in hand. Rabbi Eliezer placed the food in front of Rebbi Akiva,and they feasted. Rabbi Eliezer then took out the money and paidRabbi Akiva.

' '

Did you suspect me when I refused to pay you in money, even thoughyou saw that I had money? Rabbi Eliezer asked Rabbi Akiva. RabbiAkiva replied, I assumed that you had found a bargain real estateinvestment, for which you had earmarked the money.

Did you suspect me when I refused to pay you in livestock, eventhough you saw that I had livestock? came the next question. RabbiAkiva replied, I assumed that you had leased your livestock toothers.

Did you suspect me when I refused to pay you in grain, even thoughyou saw that I had grain? Rabbi Eliezer asked. Rabbi Akiva replied, Iassumed that most of your grain had not been yet been tithed )andtherefore could not be used to pay me(.

Did you suspect me when I refused to pay you in pillows and blankets

and land, when you saw that I had them? was the next question.Rabbi Akiva replied, I assumed that you had pledged all of your assetsto the Temple. )Since they were consecrated, Rabbi Eliezer could notuse them.(

Why did Rabbi Akiva conjure up such wild assumptions? Is thatwhat we are supposed to do?

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Unbelievably, the continuation of the story shows that RabbiAkiva guessed right!

. . .

That is exactly what happened! explained Rabbi Eliezer. My son,Hurkenos, was not studying Torah, and to set him straight, Iconsecrated my property to the Temple [gifting away the inheritancethat would have been his]. I later went to the Sages, and they annulledmy commitment, [so now that everything has returned to mypossession, I can pay you].

JUDGING REASONABLY

Interpreting What People Do Sometimes, we misjudge the peopleclosest to us. It is important to realize that family members, businessassociates, and friends are the people who care about us the most.They are generally not out to get us.

We tend to give ourselves plenty of leeway. What if, at a moment ofpure honesty, we made a list of everything we know we do wrong andjust changed the name at the top to our friends name. Would we reallywant anything to do with that friend? Yet we dont disown ourselves.

We assume the best, and that, despite all of our faults, we are stilldecent people.

Shouldnt we do the same for others? The commandment ofBtzedekTishpotteaches us that we should.

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Session 5.

REVENGEISSWEET

)( :

(( :

Vayikra 19:17-18. Do not hate your brother in your heart. You shallsurely reprove your colleague and do not bear sin on his account. Donot take revenge and do not bear a grudge towards thechildren of your nation. And you shall love your friend like yourself

I am G-d.

)( - ) ( "

.

Rashi on Vayikra 19:17-18. Do not take revenge: [the Talmud inYoma 23 states] nekama, revenge, is where one says to his friend "lendme your trowel" and the other says "no", and the next day he [thelatter] asks "lend me your spade" and the other says "I will not lend toyou the way you did not lend to me."

" "

:

And what is netira - bearing a grudge? [when one says to the other]"lend me your spade" and [the other] responds "no" and the next day[the latter] says lend me your trowel and the former says "Here- take it for I am not like you who did not lend to me." That is bearing agrudge for he preserves [netira literally meaning preserving] the hatein his heart even though he does not avenge.

... - , ,

...

for a person is very sensitive to embarrassment and it causes himgreat emotional pain. . . Revenge is sweeter than honey to him for onlyit can calm him down

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, " , , , ,

.

Ramban on Vayikra 19:17. The verse says Do not hate yourbrother in your heart on account of his doing something against yourwill. Instead, engage him in discussion and ask: why did you do thatto me?. and you shall not bear sin on account of him throughburying your hatred of him in your heart and not telling him, sincethrough your engaging him in discussion hell apologize to you, orrepent and confess his sin which,[giving you the opportunity to forgivehim.

" , ,

:

Ramban on Vayikra 19:17. And after [the obligation to expressones hurt feelings] the Torah warns not to take revenge from him, andnot to preserve in one's heart that which he did to you, for it is possiblethat one would not hate the other but would nonetheless recall theaffront to him in his heart. The Torah therefore warns one to erase hisfriend's offensive act and sin from his heart, and then afterwardscommands one to love his friend like himself.

)( " - " ]

[:'

Maimonides, Laws of Knowledge 7:7. A person who takes revenge

on his colleague violates a negative commandment, as it says "do nottake revenge." And even though he is not subject to lashes on accountof it, it reflects an exceedingly negative attitude. Instead, it behoovesa person to transcend his inclinations when he [is offended] withrespect to everything in the world, for everything is, to those whounderstand, vapor and nonsense, and not worth avenging

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- . . , , , , , , ,

. .)- (

Sefer Hachinuch Commandment 241. Among the roots of thecommandment is that a person should know and contemplate that allthat befalls him, whether good or bad, is destined to befall him from G-d. . . It is impossible for any person to do anything to him without G-d's will. Therefore, if someone pains or harms another person, therecipient should know that his own sins caused it, and G-d decreed thatit be so, and he should not permit his thoughts to consider seekingrevenge from the other since that other person is not the reason for

the bad that has befallen him, but instead, his own sin brought itabout. As King David may he rest in peace said [when faced withpersonal insults directed against himself] "Let him curse, for Hashemsaid so to him." He assumed that the [curse] derived from his ownmisdeeds and not on Shimi Ben Geira [who cursed him].

, :

There is also great utility in this commandment to put disputes to restand to eradicate seething ill will from man's heart. And when there is

peace among people, G-d will make peace for them.

]] - .

Mesilas Yesharim Chapter 11 Details of the Trait ofCleanliness. Since the evil inclination makes ones heart boil, itconstantly wants to leave some impression or memory of the [wronganother has done to a person].

, , : , , , , , , , , , , ,

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. ( , (: , , , ,

:

And if it cant leave a significant memory, it will at least try to leave a

trace memory, and will say to person, for example "if you want to givethat person that which he did not want to give you when you needed it,at least dont give it to him pleasantly, or if you do not want to harmhim, at least don't do him any major favors or give him meaningfulassistance, and even if you want to do so, at least do not do so in frontof him" or "if you forgive him in such a manner that you do not appearhis enemy, that should suffice. And even if you want to reconnect withhim, don't do it with the same affection that you originally had," and allsimilar intrigues of the evil inclination in his attempts to tempt thehearts of people. Therefore the Torah came and set forth a generalprinciple which includes everything: Love your colleague like yourself

like yourself exactly, without distinction, like yourself without provisos,without strategies and agendas like yourself exactly.

, " , , , , , , , , ,

:

However, it does not appear that if one Jew came and acted wickedlyto cause pain to his friend that the listener may not respond, for it isimpossible for a person to be like a stone which cannot be overturned,and his silence might be construed as his admission to the insults, andin truth, the Torah did not command a person to be like a rock toremain silent in the face of one insulting him the way one wouldremain silent when hearing another bless him. Instead the Torahcommanded us to distance ourselves from this trait, and to avoidstarting a dispute to insult people, and in this manner one will be

saved from all this, since nobody other than fools will insult one whoisn't a person involved in disputes, and one should not heed fools.

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Session 6.

Who is the Greatest?

':' ) (, , , , ) (, , , . , . , . , . (, ) ) (, , , .

:

Ben Zoma said, Who is wise? One that learns from all people, as itstates, From all my teachers I have become wise )Psalms 119:99(.

Who is strong? One who conquers his inclination as it states, better isthe one who is slow to anger, the strong man and ruler of his spirit,then the one who conquers a city )Mishlei 16:32(.Who is rich? One who is happy with his lot as it says, when you eatthe fruits of your labor, you shall be happy and it shall go well with you)Psalms 128:2(. Happy in this world and it shall go well with you in theworld to come.Who is honorable? One who honors his fellowmen, as it says, thosewho honor me will I honor and those who despise me shall bedegraded )Samuel 1, 2:30).

Who is wise? He that learns from everyone. Who ispowerful? He that governs his passions. Who is rich? He

that is content. Who is that? Nobody.Benjamin Franklin

WHO IS WISE?

Our sages teach that the key to wisdom is humility, and the one thing that blocks our

potential for wisdom is arrogance. Who do you picture the humblest person on earth? You would probably imagine him as

small, bent over, soft spoken. The Torah described Moses as the humblest man who everlived. Moses, who stood up to Pharaoh in Egypt, secured the release of the Jewishpeople, scaled Mount Sinai, spoke to G-d face-to-face, and led the Jews through thedesert and to the borders of Israel.

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How could a man who obviously possessed extraordinary qualities of leadership and

strength be described as the humblest who ever lived? Humility is recognizing that wehave tremendous skills, talents, and accomplishments -- but knowing that they are allfrom G-d. The humble person is not the lowly, hunched-over. It is the person in touch withhis greatness, who knows that the greatness has a Source.

We all know that G-d is behind the scenes and is the source for all. But sometimes we forget.

STORY

A man came over from Europe with five dollars in his pocket. After perseverance and hardwork, he stands beside his successful factory and boasts, "Look what I built from nothing. Icame here with five dollars in my pocket, and look what I made!"

That night his factory burns down. The man rushes to the scene, looks up to the Heavensand shakes his fist. "G-d, how could you do this to me?"

We make the mistake of thinking that on the way up it is we who built the success. Butwhen things go wrong, we blame G-d.

That is arrogance.

Humility is power because it means knowing that I don't have all the power, that there are

things more important than me. When we rely only on ourselves, we are limited. Butwhen we connect to the Source of it all, we are tapping into unlimited resources,unlimited potential, unlimited power. Now we can do anything.

Wisdom does not belong to the person who has memorized the most Torah. Wisdom

belongs to someone who, through humility, is open to learning from every person he

meets.

Everyone has unique talents, skills, and life experiences thatyou can benefit from. When G-d sends someone your way, findout how you can learn from him or her and you, too, will be onthe road to wisdom.

WHO IS BRAVE?

Who do we think of as brave? we think of people like the race car driver who travels at

160 miles per hour, or the mountain climber who scales Mount Everest, or the sky diverwho jumps out of a plane.

Our sages don't cite such feats when discussing bravery. Rather it is the one who

conquers his Yetzer Hara -- our self-destructive tendencies. What is this "Evil

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Inclination"? Is it a little devil with a pitchfork perched on one shoulder -- while an angel,in opposition, sits on the other? Not exactly.

Within all of us exists an inner dialogue, not between good and evil, but between body

and soul. The soul is connected to G-d and wants to do what is right, while the bodywants to do what is easy. To live for what our soul wants takes effort. The one who standsup and makes that effort exemplifies true bravery.

THE FIERY FURNACE

Abraham, our forefather, had many tests in his life, and our sages say that each one wasmore difficult than the last. At one point, the evil King Nimrod threw Abraham into a fieryfurnace because of Abraham's beliefs. (With Divine intervention, he survived.)

Later, G-d tells Abraham to leave his home and go to another land, the Land of Israel.

But if the tests were progressively harder, that means moving to an unknown land wasmore difficult than risking death in a fiery furnace! How so?

With Nimrod, Abraham was willing to make that one ultimate gesture and give his life forG-d. That was one level of pure sacrifice and commitment. But leaving his homeland to goto another land was an even greater level. Because greater than giving one's life for G-d isliving each day for G-d.

Real bravery is getting up each day and making the effort to do what is right. That means

standing up and fighting against what is holding us back in life, what is preventing us fromrealizing our true potential.

Pinpointing that enemy, making the effort, and ultimately being victorious calls upon our

personal courage. Your soul wants to get out of bed and accomplish great things with theday. Your body wants to sleep. Your soul wants to take time to learn wisdom; your bodywants to tune out and watch TV. Your soul wants commitment and responsibility; yourbody wants to run away.

Your true essence is your soul. Harness the unlimited energy itpossesses and you will come to know what courage is all about.

WHO IS RICH?

We all know of very wealthy people who are terribly unhappy, and quite ordinary people

who are very happy. Happiness is the art of taking pleasure in what you have. Unhappiness is the art of

focusing on what you don'thave.

It's a glorious summer day. All our friends and family decide to go on a picnic. We pack upa delicious lunch and travel to a picture?perfect spot by a lake. The children frolic and play

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together. Adults stroll by the waterfront, breathing in the fresh air. Birds sing, and a softbreeze lovingly complements the warm sunshine. An occasional cloud drifts by, a smallisland in the deep blue sky.

You unpack the wicker?basket lunch of homemade breads, salads, meats, fruits, anddrinks. The picnic table is spread with a red and whit gingham cloth. Matching napkins

adorn every plate.

But wait -- something is missing! You frantically search the lunch basket, turning it over,shaking it furiously. "The mustard! We forgot to pack the mustard!" You collapse,devastated. The picnic is ruined. Who can enjoy a picnic of meats without mustard? Youpack up and head for home.

Crazy? Of course! But this is what we do every day. Each morning we wake up, G-d has

given us back our souls. We can breathe, think, move, feel. We are sheltered, and wehave food. We have family, and we have friends. And yet we spend a lot of our timeworrying, being anxious, and complaining -- about the weather, about the guy in front ofus who's driving too slowly, about the noisy neighbors, about a local politician, about fiveextra pounds, about the lousy paint job.

About the mustard: We are all looking for the mustard. Instead of counting our blessingsand appreciating all that we have, we are continually focusing on what we don't have.

Imagine someone offered you 5 million dollars for one of your eyes. What would you say?

Forget it! But think for a moment. If you wouldn't give up one eye for 5 million dollars, thatmeans you are walking around every day with at least 10 million dollars!

We all have our "I would be happy if..." stories. "I would be happy if I met the right

person... bought my own house... got a promotion... won the lottery...". But G-d wants usto be happy right now. We are to take pleasure in all that we have, whether it is a lot or alittle. If you are not happy with your portion in life, then it doesn't matter how much is inyour bank account. It will never be enough. You can be a miserable millionaire.

Don't let your desire for the mustard blind you to the beauty andrichness all around you, every moment, every day.

WHO IS HONOURABLE?

In our society, whom do we honor? The basketball player who makes millions of dollars

because he can put a ball through a hoop. The rock singer. The movie star. We applaudthem when they perform, and yet when they grow older they are often ignored.

What happened to the honor? Because it was based on superficial and meaningless

qualities, it disappeared.

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Judaism teaches that honor is the realization that everyone is created in the image of G-

d, and thus deserves to be treated with importance. Honor values people for theiressence, for what is precious. This applies even if they seem ordinary or, as seen in thefollowing story, annoying.

STORY

The great sage of the Talmud, Rabbi Hillel, was known to be highly developed in characterand to possess extraordinary patience. Two students made a wager that they could annoyhim to the point where he would lose his composure. The goal was to make Rabbi Hillelangry.

They plotted and planned, and at last put their scheme into action. The time was lateFriday afternoon when everyone was very busy with last-minute preparations for Shabbat.

The first young man approached Hillel's house and pounded on the door.

When Hillel opened the door, the young man began to ask a nonsensical question. Hillellistened patiently and answered, "My son, I believe this is the answer to your question."

And then he proceeded to answer the silly inquiry as best he could.

They wished each other "Good Shabbos," and the boy departed, while Hillel went back tohis preparations.

Two minutes later, the other student banged on the door. The same scenario wasrepeated: a crazy question, and a patient reply from Hillel. "My son, I believe this is theanswer to your question."

Two minutes later the first student was back. The students repeated the ridiculousscenario time and time again until the Sabbath arrived, but they were never able towitness even a glimmer of impatience from Hillel.

The key to his incredible patience can be seen in how he addressed the students. Eachtime he began, "My son..." Hillel looked at every Jew as if he were truly family, and focusedon what was special about each one. We never give up on our children, even when theymake mistakes time and time again, and Hillel applied this same treatment to every personwho came his way. The person who lives life seeing the virtue in others is looked uponwith such high regard.

Our sages also say, "Who is honored? The one who runs from honor."

A man once went to his rabbi distressed. "I don't understand. According to the sages,should behonored. I am living my life running from honor, and yet no one honors me."

"That is because while you are running," the rabbi answered, "you are always looking over yourshoulder."

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Sess ion 7.Merely passing through.

, , --,

, , , :

, . .

, .

Pirkei Avos, Chapter 3 Mishna 1

"Akavia the son of Mehalalel said, consider three things and you will not cometo sin. Know from where you have come, to where you are heading, and beforeWhom you will give justification and accounting. From where have you come -from a putrid drop; to where are you heading - to a place of dirt, worms andmaggots; and before Whom will you give justification and accounting - beforethe King of kings, the Holy One blessed be He."

A man went into the house of the Chofetz Chaim, a great Rabbi. He lookedinside he saw a nearly empty one-bedroom apartment. The traveler asked theChofetz Chaim, "Aren't you the great Chofetz Chaim? How can you live likethis? Where are all of your possessions?" The Chofetz Chaim turned to thetraveler and posed the same question. "Where are all of your possessions? Allyou have with you is a suitcase." The traveler answered, "Well, I am justpassing through," to which the Chofetz Chaim responded, "I too am justpassing through. This world is a temporary journey to the next world.

"How do we know what level we can achieve?".

"Let me tell you a story," the Netziv continued, "a story about myself. When Iwas a boy I was far from being considered a genius. While I struggled with mystudies, there were several students in my class who were quite outstanding.Some of these boys had agile minds and were able to grasp vast amounts of

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material quickly. Others were blessed from an early age with an ability to delvedeeply into the material. But I was considered to be quite an average student.

"Therefore, when I got older," he continued, "it was obvious to all-includingmyself-what my future would be. In those days only the most brilliant young

men could go on to learn at yeshiva, so when my father told me that it was timefor me to conclude my studies and learn a trade, I readily agreed. But thensomething happened that made me change mind. Would you like to know whatthat was?"..

"One night I had a dream," the Netziv said, "and in this dream I seemed to seemy whole life passing before my eyes. I had lived out my days as a simpleshoemaker, and when the time came to present myself before the HeavenlyCourt I humbly stated the simple merits I had in my favor. Throughout my life Ihad davened regularly and given tzeddaka and tried to get in a little learningwhen I wasn't too exhausted from plying my trade.

"When I was finished speaking, I was handed a sefer and asked to read fromthe title page. The book was not familiar to me, so I struggled with the words.'Haemek Davar,' I read out slowly, 'by Rav Naftali Tzvi Yehuda Berlin.'

"I looked at the Heavenly Court in wonder, and said, 'But I am Naftali TzviYehuda Berlin. I didn't write this sefer.' Then I heard a voice speaking to me,and the voice said just two words, 'Why not?'

"When I woke up, my mind was in a great turmoil," the Netziv continued. "Icould still see this sefer before my eyes, with my name written in clear letters

on the first page. I now knew I had it in me to become a scholar and write thissefer-and I also knew that if I became a shoemaker the book would be lostforever. Yet how could I convince my parents to give me another chance? All Icould do was beg them to let me continue learning, and in the end they listenedto my pleadings.

"You shouldn't think, however, that from that day on my studies suddenlybecame easy," the Netziv concluded. "The difference was not in my ability tograsp the material, the difference was in my belief that my struggles to improveand progress were worthwhile. I knew I was on the right path and once I knewthat, there was no problem so difficult that it could make me lose hope. With

just a little 'further research,' I was sure that I would one day reach my goal."

We dont al have dreams like this, but we can set our goals higher to achievemore in out lives

A rich man died, leaving 1 billion dollars. He left two wills, directing that one beopened immediately and the second be opened at the Shloshim (30 days afterhis death).

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Among the instructions left in the first will was a request the he be buried with acertain pair of socks that he owned. His children immediately brought thesocks to the Chevra Kadisha (burial society). They refused, reminding thefamily that it's against Jewish law, They pleaded, explaining that their father

was a very pious and learned man, and he obviously had a very good reason tomake this request.

They remained firm in their refusal. The family frantically asked the Rabbis,they answered "Although your father left that request when he was on thisworld, now that he's in the world of truth, he surely understands that it is in hisbest interests to be buried without the socks."

The man was buried without his socks.

30 days later, the second will was opened, and it read something like this:

My dear children. By now you must have buried me, without my socks. I wantedyou to truly understand that a man can have 1 billion dollars, but in the end, hecan't even take along one pair of socks!

Points to consider1. Think of a time when you were in a situation that you were about to do

something you know is wrong and you are not sure if you should do it,what do you think about to help you make your choice?

2. Think about the difference that having police on the street makes uskeeping the law. What difference does it make to our lives if we have togive accounting for our deeds or not.

3. Have you ever been to a graveyard? How did it make you feel about yourmortality?

4. We all come from the same, go to the same and give accounting to thesame boss. What does that say about our lives as individuals?

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