by dora farkas, ph.d. founder, finish your thesis www.finishyourthesis.com welcome! how to resolve...

Download By Dora Farkas, Ph.D. Founder, Finish Your Thesis www.FinishYourThesis.com Welcome! How to Resolve Conflicts with Difficult Supervisors and Coworkers

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  • Slide 1
  • by Dora Farkas, Ph.D. Founder, Finish Your Thesis www.FinishYourThesis.com Welcome! How to Resolve Conflicts with Difficult Supervisors and Coworkers
  • Slide 2
  • Bachelors Chemical Engineering (MIT) Ph.D. in Biological Engineering (MIT) Senior Scientist in pharmaceutical industry Thesis and career coach since 2009 Creator of online Finish Your Thesis Program My Background
  • Slide 3
  • Part I: Assertive, Open Communication
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  • What is assertive communication? Why assertiveness is essential life skill Three-part method to become more assertive Assess your own assertiveness skills Part I: Assertive, Open Communication
  • Slide 5
  • Part II: How to Resolve Conflicts with Difficult People
  • Slide 6
  • Types of difficult people Strategies to resolve conflicts with difficult people Explore how working with difficult people has affected your performance How to avoid common communication mistakes Part II: How to Resolve Conflicts with Difficult People
  • Slide 7
  • { } 1 Assertive, Open Communication Skills
  • Slide 8
  • What is assertive communication? Why assertiveness is essential life skills Three-part method to become assertive, examples Assess your own assertiveness skills Part I: Assertive, Open Communication
  • Slide 9
  • Assertiveness is the Basis of Effective Communication Skills What is Assertive Communication?
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  • ASSERTIVENESS IS THE QUALITY OF BEING CONFIDENT WITHOUT BEING AGGRESSIVE
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  • Passive people: o Like to please others o Avoid conflict, even at a cost to their work/health Aggressive people: o Only focused on their own goals o Do not have consideration for other peoples needs Passive vs. Aggressive Behavior
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  • Both passive and aggressive behavior leads to frustration and jeopardizes relationships
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  • Assertive People Express Their Ideas and Take The Needs of Others into Consideration
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  • Are you intimidated by the thought of causing conflict? Are you uncomfortable with giving or receiving criticism? Do you spend time roaming over past conflicts? Are you anxious about potential conflicts in the future? Our self-confidence is strongly influenced by how we stand up for ourselves and the respect we get from others How Do You Know Whether You Are Assertive?
  • Slide 15
  • What is assertive communication? Why assertiveness is essential life skills Three-part method to become assertive, examples Assess your own assertiveness skills Part I: Assertive, Open Communication
  • Slide 16
  • Research is Not a Solitary Endeavor
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  • In Academia: o Supervisor, group members, collaborators In Industry: Supervisor, coworkers, project team members, outside collaborators Your Success at Work Will Depend Highly on How Well You Work in Teams
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  • ASSERTIVENESS WILL STRENGTHEN YOUR PROFESSIONAL RELATIONSHIPS
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  • Assertive communication skills will help you to: Express your ideas with confidence Gain respect from others Advance your career Simplify your life Assertiveness will help you to ask for help with confidence, and get the guidance you need Assertiveness is an Essential Life Skill
  • Slide 20
  • What is assertive communication? Why assertiveness is essential life skills Three-part method to become assertive, examples Assess your own assertiveness skills Part I: Assertive, Open Communication
  • Slide 21
  • Three-Step Method for Assertive Communication
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  • Be clear about your own ideas and needs Listen to the other person to understand their viewpoint Be open to alternative solutions that benefit everyone Stick to the facts, leave emotions out of discussions Sometimes you can agree to disagree Qualities of Assertive Communication
  • Slide 23
  • Many students tend to be passive It can be intimidating to speak up to a professor What will they think if I express my ideas? What if what I say does not make sense? Will my professor be angry if I disagree? Assertiveness Might Be Challenging at First
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  • State the facts Clarify your thoughts about the situation and why it bothers you Explain your goals and how you would like the problem to be resolved Adapted from How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie Three-step Method of Assertive Communication
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  • Situation: you recently sent your supervisor a draft of a paper, and he wants you to add a section that you think is unnecessary o Requires more data collections o Delays the publication of your paper Case Study: Discussing corrections to a manuscript
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  • Request a time to meet in person/phone/email Mention that you would like discuss paper Do not discuss sensitive issues over email Always assume that other person is reasonable Assertive Approach to Resolving Problem
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  • Set up a clear agenda o Corrections to manuscript o Why you think the additional section is beyond scope of paper Brainstorm about possible solutions if supervisor wants you to add section Preparing for Meeting
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  • State Facts: You would like to discuss corrections to paper Clarify: You do not think this additional section is needed, and give reasons Explain how you would like it to be resolved: o Include data in another paper o Share responsibility with another student During Meeting Use Three-step Process:
  • Slide 29
  • If there is a disagreement let supervisor talk first Be open to your supervisors viewpoint Ask questions to: o Make sure that you understand their opinions o Get feedback on alternative solutions If you cannot agree, setup a future meeting o More time to research o Discuss situation with group members Prepare Yourself for Disagreements
  • Slide 30
  • Practice open communication Get support from supervisor if you are stuck and cannot resolve problems on your own. With more experience, you will become more confident and assertive - gain respect from others You Will Learn to Become More Assertive with Practice
  • Slide 31
  • What is assertive communication? Why assertiveness is essential life skills Three-part method to become assertive, examples Assess your own assertiveness skills Part I: Assertive, Open Communication
  • Slide 32
  • { } 2 Strategies to Deal with Difficult People
  • Slide 33
  • How Do You Cope With Difficult People?
  • Slide 34
  • Types of difficult people Strategies to resolve conflicts with difficult people Explore how working with difficult people has affected your performance How to cope with chronically difficult bosses Common communication mistakes Part II: How to Resolve Conflicts with Difficult People
  • Slide 35
  • 1) Hostile-Aggressives, 2) Complainers, 3) Silent-Unresponsives, 4) Super-Agreeables, 5) Negativists, 6) Know-It-Alls (Bulldozers and Balloons), and 7) Indecisives. 8) Extremely Hands-Off (or Super-Busy types), and 9) Excessively Hands-On (Micromanagers). Based on Coping with Difficult People by Robert Branson Types of Difficult People
  • Slide 36
  • Types of difficult people Strategies to resolve conflicts with difficult people Explore how working with difficult people has affected your performance How to cope with chronically difficult bosses Common communication mistakes Part II: How to Resolve Conflicts with Difficult People
  • Slide 37
  • 1) Hostile-Aggressives, 2) Complainers, 3) Silent-Unresponsives, 4) Super-Agreeables, 5) Negativists, 6) Know-It-Alls, and 7) Indecisives 8) Extremely Hands-Off (or Super-Busy types), and 9) Excessively Hands-On (Micromanagers). Types of Negative People I will Cover
  • Slide 38
  • Notoriously antagonistic and impolite. Confrontational Raise their voice, use strong language Crush all your ideas Try to make you feel like a fool Hostile-Aggressives: Characteristics
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  • No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. - Eleanor Roosevelt Do not get emotional if they try to humiliate you Let them calm down, acknowledge their opinions Direct the conversation towards solving problems. How Do you Deal with Hostile-Aggressives?
  • Slide 40
  • Very friendly Tell you all the things you want to hear Make empty promises They do not follow through on assignments Great at making excuses Super-Agreeables: Characteristics
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  • Do not rely on super-agreeables to help you with your work. Complete as much of the work as you can on your own Make it easy for them to do their part If you need letters of recommendation, write an outline to make it easier for your thesis supervisor to support you How Do you Deal with Super-Friendly People?
  • Slide 42
  • Indecisives
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  • Hesitant about making any decisions Swayed easily by new data/opinions As soon progress is made, dissertation is changed Frequently perfectionists Frustrating to students/employees because they can hold up progress Indecisi