building and maintaining win-win relationships

BUILDING AND MAINTAINING WIN-

WIN RELATIONSHIPS

BUILDING AND MAINTAINING WIN-

WIN RELATIONSHIPS

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KEY WORDSKEY WORDS► People Skills► People Skills

► Empathy► Empathy► Patience► Patience► Calmness► Calmness

► Tact► Tact► Good Communication► Good Communication

•Dynamic •Dynamic •Assertive•Assertive

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Assertive CommunicationAssertive Communication Assertive communication is the heart of sending the message. Assertive communication is the heart of sending the message.

Deal with difficult people in protecting one's rights while respecting the rights of others.

Deal with difficult people in protecting one's rights while respecting the rights of others.

Ask for what you want, speak to be heard, set limits, and say no. Ask for what you want, speak to be heard, set limits, and say no.

Stay out of win/lose situations and promote win/win outcomes. Stay out of win/lose situations and promote win/win outcomes.

Provide and respond to positive and negative feedback. Provide and respond to positive and negative feedback.





Key Principles of Dynamic CommunicationKey Principles of Dynamic Communication

Use a neutral language for identifying the different strengths people possessUse a neutral language for identifying the different strengths people possess

Make others comfortable, not yourself.(Philippians 2:4) Make others comfortable, not yourself.(Philippians 2:4)

Approach every relationship as a win-winfrom the beginning. Approach every relationship as a win-winfrom the beginning.





RELATIONSHIP BUILDINGRELATIONSHIP BUILDING (with clients, stakeholders and organizational members)

Establish formal working relationshipsEstablish formal working relationships

Respect confidentiality Respect confidentiality

Demonstrate an interest in theirwork-related issues and activities

Demonstrate an interest in theirwork-related issues and activities

Build informal relationshipsBuild informal relationships Practice simple courtesies Practice simple courtesies

Show an interest in their issues and activities that go beyond the

workplace

Show an interest in their issues and activities that go beyond the

workplace

Follow through on commitmentsFollow through on commitments





Develop Win-Win RelationshipsDevelop Win-Win Relationships•Actively seek opportunities to contribute to positive outcomes•Actively seek opportunities to contribute to positive outcomes•Approach issues or disagreements with the objective of reaching win/win solutions•Approach issues or disagreements with the objective of reaching win/win solutions

•Focus on people's good qualities rather than on their deficiencies•Focus on people's good qualities rather than on their deficiencies

•Confront the issue rather than the person.•Confront the issue rather than the person.

•Ask open-ended questions that encourage others to give their points of view•Ask open-ended questions that encourage others to give their points of view

•Practice effective listening. •Practice effective listening. •Look for areas of common agreement and work from there to achieve a positive outcome•Look for areas of common agreement and work from there to achieve a positive outcome

•Foster an environment of openness and trust•Foster an environment of openness and trust•Allow people to save face.•Allow people to save face.





Remember that people don’t necessarily like or respect those who always agree

with them.

Remember that people don’t necessarily like or respect those who always agree

with them.

HOW TO DISAGREE WITHOUT BEING DISAGREEABLEHOW TO DISAGREE WITHOUT BEING DISAGREEABLE

Before expressing disagreement, understand that two sides can be right,

that two sides may have equal merit.

Before expressing disagreement, understand that two sides can be right,

that two sides may have equal merit.

Separate ego from your work, your possessions, and your opinions; then allow

the other person to do the same.

Separate ego from your work, your possessions, and your opinions; then allow

the other person to do the same.

Make sure that a specific situation merits your attention.

Make sure that a specific situation merits your attention.




GUIDELINES IN EXPRESSING DISAGREEMENTGUIDELINES IN EXPRESSING DISAGREEMENT

☺Reduce or expand the opposing

idea to its ultimate end.

☺Reduce or expand the opposing

idea to its ultimate end.

☺ Examine the sources of both your and the other person’s information.

☺ Examine the sources of both your and the other person’s information.

☺ Use analogy when you can. ☺ Use analogy when you can.

☺ Use you own experience or history.☺ Use you own experience or history.

☺ Talk “around” the subject rather than through it.

☺ Talk “around” the subject rather than through it.




Use words that emphasize agreement rather than disagreement.Use words that emphasize agreement rather than disagreement.

“I don’t agree with you.” “I don’t agree with you.”

“You are absolutely wrong.” “You are absolutely wrong.”

“You are dead wrong about that.” “You are dead wrong about that.” “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” “Oh yeah? Says who?” “Oh yeah? Says who?”

”Yes, but…,” ”Yes, but…,”

“Yes, but you don’t understand.” “Yes, but you don’t understand.” “Someone told you a lie.” “Someone told you a lie.”

“Someone misinformed you.” “Someone misinformed you.”“Listen, people, I’m afraid that you’ve got the

wrong picture.”

“Listen, people, I’m afraid that you’ve got the wrong picture.”

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GUIDELINES IN CONFRONTING AND RESOLVING CONFLICTS0GUIDELINES IN CONFRONTING AND RESOLVING CONFLICTS0

• Confront privately on private issues.• Confront privately on private issues.

• Deal with conflict promptly.• Deal with conflict promptly.

• Treat the other person with respect.• Treat the other person with respect.

• Listen until you understand the other side of the issue• Listen until you understand the other side of the issue

• State your own needs, feelings, views, or goals.

• State your own needs, feelings, views, or goals.

• Define areas of agreement and disagreement.• Define areas of agreement and disagreement.

• Limit discussion to the here and now and keep to one issue.

• Limit discussion to the here and now and keep to one issue.

• Guard against character attacks• Guard against character attacks

• Don’t push the other person into a corner.• Don’t push the other person into a corner.




Consider ways to improve our ability to control things so that we can focus more on people.

The power of things is formidable. It can cause us to ignore a more important aspect of our profession - people.

Things Get In the Way of Our Relationships With PeopleThings Get In the Way of Our Relationships With People




Reasons why we put things (tasks, paperwork, etc.) before peopleReasons why we put things (tasks, paperwork, etc.) before people

Task work pushes aside "idle" talk. Task work pushes aside "idle" talk.

The material world often predominates the

immaterial world.

The material world often predominates the

immaterial world.

We feel we are judged by what we do,

not who we are.

We feel we are judged by what we do,

not who we are. Obsessive-compulsive

behaviour.

Obsessive-compulsive

behaviour.

Relationships don't fit our "deadlines“ mentality

Relationships don't fit our "deadlines“ mentality

Seen results take priority over the unseen relationship.

Seen results take priority over the unseen relationship.




Some SolutionsSome Solutions

Straighten Up Your Desk

Cut Back

Toss

Refer

Act

File

shorthand for the key concept of traffic - what moves in must move out.

shorthand for the key concept of traffic - what moves in must move out.




“People will never care how much you

know until they know how much you care.”

“People will never care how much you

know until they know how much you care.”

God Bless YouGod Bless Youhttp://web.missioncollege.edu/drjrole http://roletech0.tripod.com http://www.geocities.com/drjrole



The EndThe End




building and maintaining win-win relationships

Documents

edudrjrole http

people dont

winwin relationshipshttp

trustallow people

difficult people

use words

different strengths

relationship building