build yourself and your country

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In the nation’s service : Arvind Bajoria ( CS & CMA )

1

BUILD

YOURSELF

&

YOUR

COUNTRY

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2

Contents

Introduction 3

STEP 1 : Understanding How Your Mind Works 5

STEP 2 : Mastering Your Mindset 10

STEP 3 : Manage The Fear 18

STEP 4 : Create A Wonderful Future 19

STEP 5 : Take Decisions & Create The Steps 22

STEP 6 : Building Habits 26

STEP 7 : Repeat Positive Affirmations 28

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3

INTRODUCTION

We all have dreams of what we would like to have in life. They

vary significantly between all of us. They also vary significantly

within us. We dream about what it would be like to have financial

freedom, a beautiful house, to travel, a nice car, a good body, and

so on….. We also dream of having good relationships, and having

good results at school and at work.

But for the majority of people these dreams remain just

that……DREAMS.

For many, they turn these dreams into goals. They have a plan on

how to achieve these goals. But when it comes down to working

these plans…..They hit a wall and don’t proceed any further…..Their

goals just become dreams once more. We are guided by our

mindset in all our efforts and right mindset is the first prerequisite

to make a beginning towards right action and achieve success in all

aspects of our life. Sometimes, we develop a wrong mindset due

to wrong impressions on us during childhood or wrong

impressions received from various people in our life.

But for some, they take the necessary steps to take ACTION. They

do what it takes to work their plan. They hit crossroads along the

way and adjust their plan accordingly to move in the right

direction…..They DON’T GIVE UP until they SUCCEED.

Who are you..??

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Are you a ‘Dreamer’..? Someone who has the dreams but hasn’t

turned them into goals.

Are you a ‘Planner’ . . ? Someone who does have a plan, but

hasn’t yet gone any further.

Or are you a ‘Doer”..? Someone who has the dream, wants to

make it a goal, and is prepared to take whatever it takes to

achieve and succeed.

It doesn’t matter who you are ….. ANYONE can achieve whatever

they desire…even you….as long as you are prepared to change

your way of thinking……And we are going to show you how

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5

STEP 1: UNDERSTANDING HOW YOUR MIND WORKS

As we mentioned in the introduction, you MUST change your way

of thinking to be able to change your way of living. This cannot be

emphasised enough.

Your unconscious mind controls up to 80% or your everyday life.

Not only your breathing and heart beating, but your habits, your

thought patterns, your belief systems and your values. The way

we react or respond to things, feelings, urges, addictions,

anxieties, conflicts and concepts.

The other 20%, the conscious mind, is where we find the things we

are aware of. In part, our thoughts, feelings, sensations and

memories. It is our 'awareness' of these things that bring it to our

'consciousness'.

This part of the mind has the ability to accept or reject thoughts

and ideas.

As much as we like to think we have 'conscious' control of these

thoughts, and our accepting or rejecting of ideas, even this process

is largely controlled by the values and belief systems that sit

within our unconscious.

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Understanding this with our conscious mind can allow us to make

'informed' decisions. Decisions on how far we 'choose' to unravel

the mystery of our own unconsciousness.

The unconscious mind, has no ability to decide or differentiate, it

accepts obediently what is turned over to it, be it good, bad,

healthy or unhealthy. As our conscious mind is largely intertwined

with our unconscious, we often find ourselves in repetitive cycles.

We take an ‘X’ type idea, it becomes an ‘X’ type thought, and it

brings about an ‘X’ type behaviour - a habit.

But what if we recognised that the ‘X’ type behaviour didn't serve

us well, that it wasn't good for us? What if we thought of a ‘Y’

type idea... a positive, more productive idea?

We attempt to turn this new ‘Y’ type idea over to our unconscious,

but it conflicts with our ‘X’ type, well established habits!

We look around us and we still see ‘X’ type results. This can create

an uncomfortable feeling and our unconscious mind, either with or

without our conscious awareness, will do what it can to bring us

back to our known ‘X type patterns………also known as Psycho

Cybernetics.

Psycho Cybernetics is a mechanism that keeps us where our

beliefs say we should be.

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Imagine a heater thermostat, it is set to 22ºc. The heater will turn

on or off according to the temperature of the room. You have this

warm room hovering around 22ºc and someone goes outside and

leaves the door open! The temperature quickly drops several

degrees. The cybernetic mechanism detects the temperature

drop, fires up the heater and pumps out more hot air to bring the

temperature back up to the selected 22ºc.

Once the heater has been going for a while, it records the

temperature as moving from 22ºc to 23ºc, recognizes the

deviation from the set temperature and shuts off the heater

temporarily to prevent the temperature from passing the selected

22ºc.

This cybernetic mechanisms job is to detect change from the set

target and adjust accordingly.

This same type of mechanism is also found in the autopilot on a

plane. When autopilot is activated, the plane is constantly

correcting its direction to remain on course. Any deviation is

detected, and it is brought back into line.

Now imagine this same mechanism functioning within the mind

(psycho) and belief systems of a human.

A person, let’s say a student, has developed a belief about

themselves as a learner. They are an average C grade student.

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Their beliefs are set that a C is good for them and that is all they

are really capable of. They may not believe they are smart enough

to get higher grades than this.

Now mid-year reports come home, parents decide this isn't really

good enough, demand more homework, restrict activities, and

more attention be paid to school work. A temporary fix of working

harder. This hard work pays off a little, grades increase slightly,

parents are happy and pressure comes off a little. However, the

belief system of the student is still that they are not really that

smart, and they are not really capable of those results ongoing.

The cybernetic mechanism picks up the deviation of the belief

system, and kicks in ways to bring it back onto target.

This may be self-sabotage, it may be staying up too late and

getting run down and sick, it may be getting distracted in class, or

it may be forgetting homework, then rushing it at the last minute.

Everyone finds different ways applicable to their life to have this

downward turn happen. Eventually the grades come back to

average, and right where their current self-belief has them.

This way, their cybernetic mechanism kicks in and works in the

positive way by bringing the grades up to where their new belief

system says they should be.

Once last example of how this mechanism works in people is the

cleanliness of a room.

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It can often be referred to as a 'tolerance' level. A room may stay

at a certain level of tidiness, we get a phone call... the in-laws are

coming over! So, we work hard, and get the place clean and tidy.

A few days later, the room is back to where it was before, but

that's ok, because you 'tolerate' it at that level. Over a few days,

maybe you had a week of rushing around and the room gets extra

messy, you look around and it is now 'intolerable', and you are

motivated to tidy it back to the level of tidiness it would normally

stay at- a level you can 'tolerate'!

But what if there was a way to bypass the conscious mind? What

if we could just go directly to the unconscious mind and change

the ‘X’ type processes that are bringing about the unwanted ‘X’

type results ?

The purpose of this book is to help you create a life you desire and

we have only provided an overview of this topic.

Working with the unconscious mind can sometimes be quite

challenging, but at the same time very rewarding, and for those

who choose to ‘reprogram’ their unconscious language

STEP 2: MASTERING YOUR MINDSET

The most important step to moving forward and creating your

future is being able to master your mindset.

From the research in Psychology, we can understand how we

live our lives from one of two different mindsets – A Fixed

Mindset, or a Growth Mindset.

Those that live with a Fixed Mindset believe that their personality,

their potential, and their intelligence are all framed and determined

at birth.

Those that live with a Growth mindset believe that their

personality, their potential, and their intelligence can be developed.

They believe that we are all born with a ‘clean slate’, and every

person on this planet has the ability to be whatever they

choose to be. They choose to grow themselves through learning,

applying themselves, and by failing.

"I choose a

growth mindset"

"I push

myself and take risks "

"I am always

learning"

"Will this

situation allow me to

grow"

"Other

people's success

inspires me"

GROWTH

MINDSET

"I failed"

"I will try harder next

time"

"I was born

like this. I

can't change"

"I won't try it.

If I fail I will look stupid"

"Why bother,

it's not going to change a

thing"

"Will I

succeed or fail"

"I feel

threatened by success of

others"

Fixed

Mindset

""I knew I'd

fail. I'm an idiot"

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Read through the following comments.

Place a tick in one box on the right in the column

that best describes how you feel about the

comment

Stro

ngly

Agre

e

Agree

Dis

agre

e

Stro

ngly

Dis

agre

e

1 My intelligence is something very basic and can’t be

changed

2 No matter how much intelligence I have, I can always

change it quite a bit

3 I can always substantially change how intelligent I am

4 I am a certain kind of person, and there is not much that

can be done to really change that

5 I can always change basic things about the kind of

person I am

6 Music can be learned by anyone

7 Only a few people will be good at sports…I have to be

“born with it”

8 Math is much easier to learn if I come from a culture who

values math

9 The harder I work at something, the better I will be at it

10 No matter what kind of person I am, I can always change

substantially

11 Trying new things is stressful for me and I avoid it

12 Some people are good and kind, and some are not. It’s

not often that people change

13 I appreciate when people give me feedback

14 I often get angry when I get feedback about my

performance

15 All humans are capable of learning

16 I can learn new things, but I can’t really change how

intelligent I am

17 I can do things differently, but the important parts of

who I am can’t really be changed

18 Humans are basically good, but sometimes make terrible

decisions

19 An important reason why I do my work is that I like to

learn new things

20 Truly smart people do not need to try hard

14

Strongly A

gree

Agree

Disagree

Strongly D

isagree

From the questions you

answered on the previous

page, now circle the score

corresponding to the box

you ticked.

Add together all the circled

numbers

My score is:

60 – 45 points

Strong Growth Mindset

44 – 34 points

Growth Mindset with some

Fixed ideas

33 – 21 points

Fixed Mindset with some

Growth ideas

20 – 0 points

Strong Fixed Mindset

Question 1 0 1 2 3

Question 2 3 2 1 0

Question 3 3 2 1 0

Question 4 0 1 2 3

Question 5 3 2 1 0

Question 6 3 2 1 0

Question 7 0 1 2 3

Question 8 0 1 2 3

Question 9 3 2 1 0

Question 10 3 2 1 0

Question 11 0 1 2 3

Question 12 0 1 2 3

Question 13 3 2 1 0

Question 14 0 1 2 3

Question 15 3 2 1 0

Question 16 0 1 2 3

Question 17 0 1 2 3

Question 18 3 2 1 0

Question 19 3 2 1 0

Question 20

0 1 2 3

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Well done. Now you have a good idea of where your mindset is a t .

We say “where your mindset is at” for a reason. Because whatever

your mindset has been in the past, is exactly what it was, and it

has got you to exactly where you are now.

What you choose to do with it from this point forward is what

matters. And those choices, whatever they may be, are totally up

to you.

If you have a Growth Mindset how are you using it? Are you using

it to it’s best potential, and well on track to creating the life you

want? Or do you know where you want to be, and just don’t know

how to get there? As long as you have the vision of where you

want to be, and are prepared to learn how to get there, and do

what it takes to get there, then you are heading in the right

direction.

If you have a Fixed Mindset, then ask yourself these questions:

Am I happy where I am at right now? Y / N

Do I want to stay where I am at right now? Y / N

Do I want a successful life? Y / N

Do I want to choose how I live my life? Y / N

Am I prepared to change to a Growth Mindset Y / N

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STEP 1

Recognize that

there are two

different mindsets

Look for evidence by

researching people

who have achieved

high levels of

success

STEP 2

Make a decision to

change your mind

Change your internal

language

Choose to learn

STEP 3

Embrace challenges

Do your best to find

success - Effort

Be motivated by

setbacks

How To Create A

Growth Mindset

Never Stop Doing The Things That Cause You To Improve

If your choice is to change to a Growth Mindset you are probably

now asking: “How do I create a Growth Mindset?”

I am glad you asked……..

Now you know the principles to creating a Growth Mindset. Keep

progressing in the direction you want to go by building and

expanding your thinking around these steps.

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We understand that sometimes this is easier said than done. And

some people have many things that weigh them down with their

thinking that it is hard to move forward.

If this is where you are at the moment, that is fine. As long as you

are prepared to move forward, then there are simple tools to help

you get moving.

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STEP 3: MANAGE THE FEAR

When faced with situations in life that we have not been exposed

to before, and we don’t know what results we are going to arise,

this is what most people tend to do.

If you have not been on a road to real success before, then you

really have no picture of what that success looks like. Sure, you

may have passed a test at school, won a sporting event or made

something that worked. These could be considered ‘small’

successes. Sure, there was meaning to them, and feelings of joy

when they were achieved, but there was no real risk in achieving

them. There was no ‘skin in the game’. And when faced with these

‘risks’, or having to ‘put something in’ to win, the primal instinct

inside usually makes people Forget Everything And Run.

“What if this is a scam?”

“What if I lose everything?”

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“I might fail and look like an idiot”

“That stuff is only for people who know how to do it! Well……

What if you didn’t lose everything….And you were to actually gain

so much more?

What if you didn’t fail, and you and others were proud of you? Or,

what if you actually DID fail……And you learnt a lesson from the

failure that allowed you and others to be even more proud?

Yes…..that ‘stuff’ is for people who know it….And what would it

look like if you were one of them..?

Those that create big successes in life know how to manage and

control their fears. They know that fear and risk is a very important

part of the process. If there wasn’t fear and risk, we would

rush into everything that came our way, and that would of course

lead to many failures, and probably even worse.

So how do you manage your fears and control the risks?

Sometimes there are underlying unconscious issues that arise

as fear. These can be removed with coaching

Find someone that has successfully achieved what you are

wanting. Learn what they did right, and more importantly,

learn what they did wrong. This is modelling them.

Get a Guide who has been successful.

Picturing things in a

different way, will

give a different

meaning.

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STEP 4: CREATE A WONDERFUL FUTURE

A compelling future is that which is interesting and fascinating,

but above all it is inspiring.

You have the ability to create and shape your reality to whatever

you want it to be. But to be able to achieve this, you must take on

the thinking of a ‘Doer’, that person who has the dream and

chooses to make it a goal, and is prepared to DO whatever it takes

to achieve and succeed.

Think of something compelling that you would like to achieve or

have. Something you have only ever dreamed of having.

Something, that with the tools you now have, you believe you can

now achieve:

It can be in whatever area of your life you choose:

o Family

o Relationships

o School

o Work

o Health

o Finances

It must make a positive change in your life

Give it a time frame – 6 months from now

The steps to achieve this goal must be within your control

The goal needs to be big enough that it is going to stretch

you and challenge you.

See/Feel/Hear what it is like with this achievement in your

life

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MY GOAL is :

Now, repeat this process and come up with some other goals.

Make a list of whatever it is that is going to make your future

more inspiring.

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STEP 5: MAKE DECISIONS & CREATE THE STEPS

Great….now that you have some compelling goals…..What do you

have to do to achieve them?

To do this, you must have a clear plan. You need to decide what

needs to be done and create the action steps.

By answering these questions, you will start to create some

momentum.

My goal is:

I want to achieve this by:

What personal changes do I need to make?

What are the actions I need to go through? If you find some

blocks here a) find someone who has achieved a similar success

and ask what they did, b) brainstorm with a friend

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From this list, what is the easiest, cheapest, or most comfortable

thing to do first?

By when will I start this one thing?

By when will it be completed?

Is there anything that might stop me from taking it? Y / N

If yes, what is it?

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What will I do to stop it from stopping me?

What resources do I need to achieve this one thing?

Do I need someone to: Circle what is applicable

Help me / Teach me / Guide me / Coach me /

Mentor me / Hold me accountable

Who is this person?

When will I ask this person?

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Is there anything else I need to consider before I take my first step

?

On a scale of 1 to 10….With 10 being the highest or strongest:

How strong is my intention to take the first step?

How high is my enthusiasm to take the first step?

How strong is my commitment to take the first step?

If your score is under 7 for any of these, what needs to happen to

raise the score?

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STEP 6: BUILDING HABITS

Awesome…….You are on your way.

Now what is going to keep you heading in that direction?

Habits….!

You now have actions that are required to build the steps to reach

your goals, and by regularly completing them, you will begin to

build positive habits.

To ensure these new habits stay with you, and become a part of

how you do things, they need to be programmed into your

unconscious mind. What would it feel like if what you did every

day, your thinking and actions, were a result of your positive

habits?

By creating and programming these habits, you are helping to

reset your ‘thermostat’…The one we mentioned in Psycho

Cybernetics in the Step 1.

To help this process, you need to be rewarded for your new habits.

Your unconscious mind needs to know which behaviors are

getting it the things that it likes.

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By getting rewarded when you have successes, your unconscious

mind will begin to be programmed with success, and it will actively

seek out more successes so it can receive more rewards.

So how do you get rewards…?

When you have success in each of the action steps you listed in

the previous exercise, you reward yourself. For example: a night at

a movie, takeaway for dinner….etc. You decide what reward is

worth the effort.

Yes, It’s that simple………especially when being enforced by a

Growth Mindset.

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STEP 7: POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS

When on the road to creating success, there can be many

challenges. And as mentioned earlier, these challenges can create

obstacles that can cause disappointments and finally you may give

up.

But by constantly feeding your mind with positive affirmations,

your progress will be smooth and unhampered.

Some of the positive affirmations, which you must keep on

repeating to yourself, can be as following:

I am a talented professional totally committed to my work, family and society. I am highly prosperous, healthy and talented and have the ability to live

my dreams. I am a gifted person and god has given me the talent and ability to face

any adversity and become successful in my life. I can manage any difficult situation easily. I am enjoying every moment and constantly learning and growing. I am getting new opportunities daily for growth and happiness.

We hope this guidance note is of value to you, and helps

you to truly prosper in whatever area of life you choose.

Best of success to you…

Arvind Bajoria

Company Secretary &

Cost and Management

Accountant

Email : [email protected]

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