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8/3/2019 Book Small File

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During my leading of student ministries, it was my hearts desire to watch students seek God genuinely, not

just as a result of the expectations we as a church often impress on our students. If youre a student youknow what I mean. Worship time hits, we sing along, as long its the song we like, we possibly raise ourhands giving the appearance we are engaged, or spiritual, but the reality is, we do this only to impress the

audience. Maybe its a passing parent, church leadership, our youth pastor, or our friend who invited us tochurch. Truth be told, our hearts are hurting, and even though we give the impression we are worshipping,

you and I both know at times, its the last thing our heart wants to do. So in an attempt to find an outletfor my students to worship God in Spirit and in TRUTH, I needed a way for them to be open, honest, andTRUTHFUL to God.

I began setting these journals out during worship time with the direction of just write. Over a short period, Ibegan to see that many of the students would do more than just write. They would pour out their heart to Godin their words that even I might be nervous to share openly. There were things that were quite personal to them.

Struggles, sins, family issues, broken relationships, friendships, and an occasional thankful heart to God. Over timemany would leave their journals after service in hopes that I would read and pray through them. I began reusingthe composition books during future worship times, and I found that other students would flank the entry IN THEIR

WORDS about how they personally were struggling. It dawned on me that one students cry, allowed for anotherperson to relate and open their own heart before God. I began thinking what if other teens saw these entries.

Would they also be able to relate and feel like they werent the only ones in the world struggling? the only oneshurting?, the only ones that had MUCH to say during worship and church, but never given the freedom to expressthemselves truthfully to God? Could their reading and journaling possibly grant freedom, and liberation to just

open their heart IN THEIR WORDS?

So this collection began! The entries are as real as they get. I simply scanned their image in, and plopped it on the

left hand page. The right side of the page is an assortment of poems, images and scripture that lends itself to the

issues cried out for in the journal entry.

My personal prayer for this composition book is that every entry, devotional, picture, poemsome support to your struggles and cry before God. The one thing you can be certain of; yperson experiencing hurt.

After reading through an entry, you may find yourself relating, or hurting for the person/peo

things like those stated. Either way, take some time on the following pages and in your wor

Its a scripture that can be pr

ayed. Example:I ca

Christ who strengthens me

Father, thank you that you have given me the ab

through Christ, and I am so grateful when I am o

your callings, and I act, you come by Your Spirit a

Let me ask find much joy in the things I do daily, b

your word, the joy of the Lord is also my strengthtoday to take up my cross, give me strength to re

ways, and give me strength to do each task toda

would have me do it. In Jesus Name, Amen


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So when you look at this picture, what do you

OBSERVE? Dont just pass it by thinking its a nice image.

We have placed it there for a reason, its intentional.

Ask yourself these questions:

What do you see in this image?

-How does it make you feel?

-How does it speak to you?-How does this relate to the entry?

-How is God wanting me to pray through this?

Then take what you see, hear and feel, allow it to move you to prayer.

-What do you see in this image?

I see a scripture Mark 11:15-17

-What does it say?

I see trees in the background and begin to thank God for His creation and creativity.

-How does it make you feel?

The feel of the church makes me feel sad. How does it speak to you? It makes me

question if we as a church have missed the mark. Are we really a house of prayer?

-How is God wanting me to pray through this?To pray for the Church and to pray for myself in not praying as often as I should.

Father, it was never your intent that our Churches become more of a breeding ground for self promotion, but ac-

cording to Your Son Jesus, it should be called a House of Prayer. Take our churches, within our country, cities and

towns and begin to stir up believers hearts to pray. Bring light upon the truth that we are called to be walking

houses of prayer. Now God, take my life and establish inside of me a hunger, passion and longing to pray.

In Jesus Name, Amen!

Its that easy! Remember everything can be used to launch us into PRAYER!

I want to leave you with one final thought; When you are moved to pray, you will find a prayer life that moves.So may this book move you with compassion as you dive right into the lives of our students hearts. Be inten-

tional about each journal entry and give it permission to move your heart towards the Fathers.

Call you blessed

Dear Child of God,

I pray that you continue. I pray that you continue

on in strength with God by your side as you walk in

faith. May Gods touch be upon your heart, and

may your days be filled with gladness and opportu-

nity. May our creativity written out in these pages

capture your heart again. Our cries, woes, hopes,

dreams, doodles and adventures of the heart are

all held here. We are children of God too. Through

this book, I pray that unity is recaptured as we each

see individually the character of God. Let his love,

grace, mercy, presence and patience take a hold of

your life, heart, mind and cries again. Bless you, in

His Name: Amen


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Place me like a seal over your hea seal on your arm; for love is aas death, its jealousy unyielding

grave. It burns like blazing firemighty flame.-Song of Songs 8:6


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Once talking to you Felt as natural as breathing. Warming like a summer afternoon, Your wordsreaching deep within, Fall air, crisp and cool Making me burrow further into your love. Now I am at a loss of words, Speechless in your presence I dont call muchanymore, Rarely on my knees. Too busy am I, to simply talk To the creator of all things! My heart yearns for you, Being apart is something I cannot do. My soul ishungry; can satisfy everything I need. Your guidance in my life, The only way to keep this train heading Towards my goals, dreams, and hopes Heading towards

Your plan for me.

From Psalm 84

God said:

Listen unto Me child,

My voice resounding

Gather all I say

On wings set thy mounting

My prayer:

My soul, O how it faints

For your presence alone

I set upon thy wings

Search of my home

My heart, O how it longs

To sail into the sunOn the wings of Him

Your beloved Son

My esh, O how it cries

For faith as a shield

Protecting my pursuit

Standing worthy and sealed

For the Lord God is a sun andshield; 84:11

-Mike

Thesun(Son)thatbecomesthetarget, the goal,andambitionofourheart,isalsotheshieldmakingitpossibletopursue.


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Im so tired of this world telling me what to think, what to see, Im sick of this negativity towards everything! But that changes today.. From now on whenthe world sees tears I see healing, when the world sees death I see a new life, when the world sees the end of my relationship I check off the list for theperfect One. From now on when the world sees Bones, I see Army.


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Going down a path. That leads to where I. Want to be. But then I get to where. There are two paths. Do I go forward. On the path I was . Or the on thatGoes left. Going left. Not know where. It is going to take me. Leading me down the. Wrong path. No (not sure) what I am going. Losing who I amPlease God help me. Get back to the path. I was on. To make me who. I was. For I am lost. I dont know. Where I am . Or where I am going


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Lord, rst off, I just send a cry up to Heaven for the other people who have written down their prayers in here, that they are still leaning on You, andseeking You and Your healing power. Thank you God for being a constant force, a constant refuge in our constantly changing world s. I want to just askYou for help to focus to earnestly seek You. I want to know You, but so many times my priorities aren t straight and it seems I m going in the wrongdirection. My lifes purpose is to obey Your will, but even though I know that, I dont usually live it out. You are here waiting for me to follow, so why dont I

listen? Please help me to trust You, to follow You, to bring joy to You because of Your grace I can be made like You. Thank you, and I love You.


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I have this odd feeling within me. Its like God gives me these opportunities to meet with him, but I have not yet communicated and connected. I haventfelt God show or tell me what is Really wanted from him. I try to get God to speak with me or do anything to show that hes there I want to grow deep,but this lack of connection is eating me alive. It leads to questions, questions that shouldnt be asked, for example; Is God really there? Does he wantanything real from me? Where are the signs of existence? All I can do is pray. I try and try and try. Maybe it isnt enough, although I want to become trueto God, I feel blocked. I truly feel that Im not trying hard enough, yet I try so hard. Something inside of me screams, SPEAK TO ME, GOD! But I get noanswer. This period of emptiness hurts. I hope and pray that Ill be set free from it, but its all in Gods will.


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But now you must be holy in everything you do,just as God who chose you is holy.

I peter 1:15

My Father-Why so many struggles? Why so much pain? You created this world to show Your splendor, Your beauty. You created us, me, to

love, to serve, and to obey. Thank You for the struggles and the pain to bring me closer to You! In the midst of temptations, in the center of whatseems like hell, You are there to carry me to You. Thank You. Every time I shine, every time I feel on top of the world, You shine brighter! Youare on top of my world! I rejoice with the struggles, with the times that seem to have no end, the trials that are endless. You are there, Father,holding me even closer. Thank You.

A smile comes to my face knowing that You alone can humble my pride, yet let me shine all in one day! God, Youre a funny God, andI love You for that. Thank You. Thank You.Your Daughter.


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God I give you my heart, as a prince among men.


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What God is to me.Worthy, magical, wonderful, loving, kind, caring, rightious, forgiving, foundation, strong rock, great, big, marvelous. God is many things and heloves me, he thinks that I am beautiful and he loves me for me not what I might pretend to be. He never leaves me, he is always by my side.He holds me in his arms and whispers me things. Things I dont hear because i dont want to but now I want to know what he is saying to me.What he whispers to me.


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My angel opens my heart, My angel opens my heart, My angel opens my heart. But tonight My heart is shut tight. I need my angel for tonight itmight not be well. My soul could go up for sell. The darkness touches my soul and Im lost. One touch and the sourness overcomes the host. Thisspell comes and my angel is gone. For no other man can dismay it, but for I am alone. My angel opens my heart. My angel opens my heart.


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I feel like my heart is cracked. Its been so long since Ive beenhere, since my heart has been fully tuned in to You, Lord. Itsbeen so natural to just take life as it comes and to get caughtup in the world. In reading about martyrs and it just makes methink about how natural it is for them to not deny You, to ght

and die for You. I think about how I deny You in some wayeveryday. How I dont stick up for You, how I dont pray, or thinkabout You throughout the day. I know I love You. I would diefor You. Ive realized that the hole in my heart longs to be lled,and You are the answer.

You have put so manybeautiful people in my

life.People that have such hugehearts. That dont let peoplechange who they are. They

love you. They put yourst. They love others.

I want to be beautiful.I want their joy.their longing.

Lord, I want You toll the

hole that resides

inside my soulLord.

I face rejection everyday. I feel it rip my heart in pieces thatslowly sink. Its the worst feeling, and I feel it from everyone. Iwant to be happy. I long for comfort. Everyday I have to hearhow much of a bad person I am, everything thats wrong withme. My dad accuses me of being a glutton, of being selsh.I dont believe that I am. I long to help others, and I care. ButI dont know how to show him that. I know everything thatswrong with me, but whats right?


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God pick up the pieces of a heart shatteredWhats left is frayed and tatteredIts broken and torn

God pick up the pieces make me whoReplace the pieces that others stoleThat I my heart may be tender


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God, Out to You I speak. Are You listening? You say Youre near. Am I loud and clear? Do You hear me? I need Your helpDown here I kneelCan You see me? I am weak and tremblingIts You I seek. Its You I need. At Your golden gates Ill do anything. Please rescue me and my family.I hunger for You, To see You with open eyes. Im drowning in sin. Theres no escape, Im pinned in. Lift me into Your hands. Bright and glorious JesusChrist, Im at the breakIve made so many mistakesI just want to be in Your quake. Hear meSet me free from my suffering.

It s broken and tornOh Lord its so worn

God pick up the pieces for this is my cryLord in your lap let me lieWhat is broken I ask you to mendMy heart forever would you tend

That I my heart may be tenderTowards my offender

God pick up the pieces I desire restoraThat in it all you receive adorationLord in your grace and mercyWould you Immerse me


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Another day goes by, where did it go?I missed you againHow long has it been,I cant even remember.Days turn into weeks, then months, and years?

Forgive me for what Ive missedBut I really need you nowFire, Fall downFill my heart as I rememberHow full its once beenI need you, they need you.

Fire fall downThunder to thy soulResounding in soundGripping mans whole

Fire fall downContagious by ightProstrate upon thy grounBlinded by Your light

Fire fall down

Genuine heaven revealedEffects of God renownHoly spirit sealed

Fire fall downSouls made awareChristless graves made soundJudgments impending stare

Fire fall downHearts united in oneWhite by thy gownThru Gods only Son

Fire fall downArising generational quakeIn the middle of the nightMy Spirit lies awake

Fire fall down Matthew 3:11Tho promised still Acts 2:33

Enduing with powerActs 1:8Grant me another llEphesians 5:18


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1. For 6 weeks I bore your name on my chest, ready to serve your will Lord. Am I no longer that now I am about to leave for military service?2. Lord, my pain has been from confusion and fear. That I may no longer by yours when I leave. That I will become lost.3. Doubt has always been a key player in my mind Lord. Let it be no longer.4. Lord In your Sons Name, Jesus, release me from this fear and pain. Give me your strength and your spirit.


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Potters House Jeremiah 18Lord, be the Potter of my life. Make and shape me as You want. Just as if I were a mound of clay. If I (the clay) smear in the wrong direction, smear meback to how I should look. If You bake me, and I crack, please repair me. If You paint me, and the paint cracks or smears, touch me up. As the clay formsas the Potter wants it to, let me be formed by You, O God, my Savior.


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Heavenly Father,I want to forgive him. He touched me. Made me feel like a toy, when I didnt want it, he forced me. Took me into closets, and told us we were playing.He was my best friends brother. He made me feel disgusted and ashamed of my body. Tell me please why he had the desire to do it. I held a grudge.Please, how do I forgive him? Tell me what to tell him, I want to listen and learn.


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October 2009So here we go. This is the last place I want to be right now. I am so faraway from God right now, and I feel myself not wanting to change thatbecause of the people sitting to my right and left. Ive gone to this churchall my life, yet I still dread going to church because I feel completely alone.I can be anywhere else, school, work, movies, etc. and everyone will knowwho I am. But when I come here Im all alone. This is the last place I wantto be because of everyone in this room. I am hurting, yet no one notices.I have done so much these past six months to make a statement thatI dont know if they were either mistakes or something I enjoyed doingand would keep doing. Ive been put in a box my entire life, and Im doinganything to get out of it, even if it means changing who I am. People onlyknow me as an Honor student, a track star, the perfect daughter, the idealfriend, the outstanding student, the one you can depend on to do the rightthing. And Im sick of living up to those things. I nd myself doing thingsI swore I would never do! I drink just to have a good time and to feel likeIm someone else. The last time Ive been to church was the ski trip in thespring. I make excuses for myself not to come on Wednesday nightsbecause the students here are unapproachable. There are so many

cliques. Tonight I stood around for fteen minutes by myself, telling myselfjust a little bit longer then you can leave. I AM HURTING! I have gotten sofar over my head it scary. I dont know whats right and what wrong. Ibelieve in God, but Im hurting none the less. God, I ask for Yourforgiveness. I have done some pretty nasty things. I am sleeping with a guywho isnt even my boyfriend. God, I hurt. Im drinking to numb the feeling ofbeing not worthy or not wanted. My biggest fear in this life is being alone.Please forgive me for everything Ive done.

With a loud cry, Jesus breathed hislast. The curtain of the temple wastorn in two from top to bottom.39And when the centurion, who stoodthere in front of Jesus, heard his cryand saw how he died, he said, Surelythis man was the Son of God!Mark 15:37-39

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