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How To Balance Your Work And Family Life Brought To You By:  Michael Lee , Self-Help Specialist  Author of How To Be An Expert ersua!er

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How To Balance Your Work AndFamily Life

Brought To You By:

 Michael Lee, Self-Help Specialist

 Author of How To Be An Expert ersua!er

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 Your Rights

 You have giveaway rights and resell rights to this ebook. That means you can giveit away to anyone you like, or sell it and keep 100% of the profits

 DISCLAIMER AND TERMS OF USE AGREEMENT

The author and publisher have used their best efforts in preparing this report. The author and publisher make no

representation or warranties with respect to the accuracy, applicability, fitness, or completeness of the contents of this report.

The information contained in this report is strictly for educational purposes. Therefore, if you wish to apply ideas containedin this report, you are taking full responsibility for your actions.

EVERY EFFRT !"# $EE% &"'E T "(()R"TE*Y RE+RE#E%T T!# +R')(T "%' T-# +TE%T"*.

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The author and publisher disclaim any warranties 4e5press or implied6, merchantability, or fitness for any particular purpose.

The author and publisher shall in no event be held liable to any party for any direct, indirect, punitive, special, incidental or

other conse7uential damages arising directly or indirectly from any use of this material, which is provided 8as is9, and

without warranties.

"s always, the advice of a competent professional should be sought.

The author and publisher do not warrant the performance, effectiveness or applicability of any sites listed orlinked to in this report. All links are for information purposes only and are not warranted for content, accuracy orany other implied or explicit purpose.

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Table of Content

INTRO!"TION #

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Introduction

?The trouble with the rat race is that, even if you win, you're still a rat” ~ Lily Tomlin ~

There was a time, in the not@so@distant past, when families were expected to ive upeverythin in order to achieve the financial security they craved. 4erhaps youremember those decades, perhaps you are too youn to recall those times.

Those were the days when climbin the corporate ladder was a revered activity, andwives and children aBed fondly at pictures of the breadwinner in order to rememberwhether poor, exhausted ad had blue eyes or brown.

&are companies moved employees from one city to another, like pawns on achessboard and, if you had any hope of climbin the ladder toward uppermanaement positions, you packed up the wife and kids and moved on from "hicao,

to 3oston, to New $ork, to Tokyo.

In the intervenin years, the divorce rate climbed, fathers lost touch with their familiesand died of heart attacks and strokes at an alarmin rate. 8hen these men retired,they felt useless and unproductive.

Over the years, the identity of these men had become inextricably tied to their successon the Cob. New retirees found themselves wonderin who they were, and why theywere livin with women who were complete straners to them. And, whateverhappened to those darlin kids who used to live in the house9

Then women entered the workforce in earnest and Coined the rat race.

&est you think that this rat race has come to an end, look to the evidence of stressrelated death and illness, an increase in the averae number of hours worked byemployees in the !.*. and around the world, skyrocketin numbers of divorces andchildren in sinle@parent families.

 And, let us not foret those of us who are responsible for the care of ain parents.

8e live in a world of conveniences that were desined to ive us more leisure time.

3ut, it would seem that all the informational overload, whirrin computers and mediablitB has iven us is more time for work.

It is not unusual for men and women to work sixty or seventy hours per week onaverae. *ome of us work eihty or ninety hours without battin an eyelash. And, wefool ourselves into thinkin we have a life'

If you are one of the enlihtened few, you have already come to the conclusion that

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ivin up a social and family life is too reat a price to pay for career success.

+aybe, you have stress related health problems, perhaps you are not eatin riht, andyou are probably fihtin with your spouse, boyfriend or best buddy because youspend too little time with the people you care about most.

$ou probably can)t find the time to return phone calls or send a birthday card to your Aunt 3etty.

It doesn)t matter if you are a lineman for a utility company, a piBBa delivery irl, acorporate executive or an aspirin dancer.

In today)s chaotic world, it is a safe bet that you don)t have enouh time for work,family and friends. And, since your boss holds a tiht rein on your paycheck, it is likelythat your family and friends are the ones that suffer.

To live a balanced and successful life, you need to stop being tired andpossess unlimited energy

!lick "ere To Turbo#!harge Your $nergy 

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 You Are NOT Alone!

?The be-all and end-all of life should not be to get rich, but to enrich the world” ~ B.C.orbes ~

id you know that the *ociety for 0uman Resource +anaement has reported that<(D of American workers are considerin lookin for another Cob and, further that theyestimate there will be million new Cobs created over the next ten years, but only -<million new workers available to fill these Cobs9

8hile every eneration of workers has a different set of work expectations, the desirefor workElife balance has become one of the foremost oals of every eneration in theworkforce today.

3aby 3oomers are reducin work hours and many /Thirty@*omethins) are startin

their own businesses in order to have more control over their lives and schedules.

 A recent study done by the 6amilies and 8ork Institute illustrates that youn workers Cust startin out in the workforce are choosin to turn down promotional opportunitiesto achieve reater workElife balance.

8hy do you suppose these apple@cheeked, enthusiastic Cob entrants miht take thisapproach9 In a study done with youn employees by 6amilies and 8orkplace,workElife balance was amon the top for both enders.

+ost of these youn adults were raised in families where both parents worked andthey experienced the sacrifice and demands placed upon their parents, firsthand.

Not surprisinly, of all the enerations in the workforce today, these youn adults arethe most likely to consider Cob flexibility and schedules when they look for a Cob, and itis key to employee retention for companies that employ these youn workforce.

The point of all of this backround information is to let you know that you are not alonein your desire to find balance.

 All enerations in all types of Cobs are today, lookin for balance, less stress, and moretime with family and friends. &ike you, these people are willin to ive it their all whenthey are at work and they expect to work hard, but in exchane, they want a life.

In essence, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

If you think that work and family life balance is a small problem, you may be interestedto know that, in addition to the few companies that have reconiBed the issue andtaken the lead in establishin life balance prorams, there are numerous

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oraniBations, foundations, universities and roups doin research on this topic.

OraniBations as diverse as reliious roups, overnment aencies, human resourcecompanies and behavioral scientists now study these issues and, not Cust because it isthe riht thin to do.

There are real economic advantaes to companies that reconiBe the need for lifebalance and create a workin environment to help their employees live their lives morefully.

"ompanies spend a lot of money trainin and keepin employees and happyemployees will stay loner, live loner and contribute to the company loner.3ut, we are Cust scratchin the surface in understandin the true human toll that anunbalanced life takes. +any have studied the evolvin societal issues and their rootsin overwork and lost community connections.

If you 8ANT more balance in your life but you wonder whether it is all that important,let)s talk about the reasons you N%% this balance.

?!e are coming to understand health not as the absence of disease, but rather as the "rocess by which individuals maintain their sense of coherence #i.e. sense that life is

com"rehensible, manageable, and meaningful$ and ability to function in the face ofchanges in themselves and their relationshi"s with their environment” ~ %aron

 %ntonovs&y ~

Health – &ivin an unbalanced life where work dominates can sinificantly affect your

health. &on or stressful work hours can cause problems with your heart, your bloodpressure, and your sleep cycles.

*tudies show a sinificant increase in heart attack and stroke since the advent ofseventy@hour workweeks. &on hours at work and lots of work related travel alsoencouraes poor diet and leaves little time for exercise.

 As we become more out of shape, sleep less and experience health problems, we areno loner the powerful asset to our employers, nor can we participate fully in a familyand social life. ItFs vital to be free from diseases to live life to the fullest.

Emotional Wellness G $our ability to ive back to your family, friends and community,and your own emotional stability depends on a balanced life.

 As overly dramatic as it sounds, you are likely to experience emotional problems, needcounselin and suffer from anxiety attacks or other problems if you have no time todecompress and relax.

There are numerous scientific studies on the benefits of relaxation, recreation and

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meditation.

And these benefits are both hsical and emotional"

$ou can)t be ready to take on the issues in your family, support your spouse, parents,siblins and children and your friends if you have no emotional stamina.

If you)ve spent all of your focus and attention on work and you find yourself so tired atthe end of the day that you don)t even want to talk to your family, you have a problem.

 And your family may not wait around for you to resolve it'

The societal impact of /all work and no play) has damaed and destroyed many afamily and the divorce rate continues to climb. "hildren row up barely knowin theirparents because they are away at work all the time.

6amily vacations are a thin of the past in many families. 1acations et postponed and

many employees find themselves losin their accrued vacation time because theyhave /rolled it over) for so many years and Cust NOT taken the vacation they deserved.$our emotional reserves are depleted. $ou have no patience with yourself or others.$ou are short on sleep and even on time to think about what you want for dinner.

Is it an #onder that scholo$ists and schiatrists are busier than e%er&

Stress - 8e have talked about the health implications related to /all work and no play)but stress is its own health factor.

%ven if you like your Cob, if you have no time for anythin else, stress will et youeventually.

8e)ll talk more about stress later and you)ll et some tips on how to eliminate ormitiate stress so that your body and mind will be better able to handle whatevercomes your way.

6or now, what you need to understand is that stress can affect your physical andemotional health and that, over time, it can make you very sick. If you are not in aposition to chane Cobs or otherwise make a maCor chane to relieve stress, learn how

to handle it better.

8e)re not talkin about takin five years of classes here. 8e are talkin about simpletechniHues you can use to help balance your life.

Remember that workElife balance is not Cust a Huestion of the hours you spend in oneplace or another. It is also a Huestion of how balanced you feel and how you react tothins.

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No matter how much time you have with your family and friends, you will enCoy it moreif you are able to balance $O!R*%&6.

If you can become less of a victim of stress and overwork and take control of your ownreaction to stress, you will live loner and be happier at work and at home.

Family and Community – 5overnment and university studies support the idea thatthe /all work and no play) lifestyle contributes to divorce, dysfunction in the family, andlack of involvement and investment in the community and neihborhood.

 As the community rows apart and neihbors become straners, emotional and familysupport for thins like childcare, help with ain parents and support followin traumaand traedy become real issues.

The community turns to the overnment to supply services to fill this ap, taxes riseand people remain straners.

6amilies strule with alternatin schedules, and children fail to thrive emotionally andphysically.

ivorce is rampant and sinle parents are under even more stress with even less timeto pay attention to children. *o, thins deteriorate even more'

Role models for marriae, relationships and Culin time and family are important to achild)s adult relationships. If we do not provide those positive role models, weperpetuate the problem.

It is interestin to note that the eneration of children now in the work force has startedto rebel aainst Cobs and employers that reHuire ridiculous hours and dedicationbeyond the call of duty.

They understand the toll this type of career takes on a life. They rew up in familiesthat suffered this impact.

4erhaps our reatest hope for chane lies in this eneration of seasoned veterans ofdysfunctional families.

Productivity – If your employer believes that your eihty@hour workweek is ivin himmore benefit, he should look at the statistics and information athered by humanresource companies and companies that focus on efficiency and productivity.It is a fact that the human brain needs downtime and rest and recreation to recycle.Think about your own life and the times when you had to work lon hours to etsomethin finished.

4erhaps you found that you could barely focus after a certain number of hours. There

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is a reason that coaches that teach ood study habits tell students not to cram foreihteen hours before an exam, but rather to spread out the studyin and mix inrecreation.

Take a walk talk with friends to reain your clarity and focus.

If you and your employer truly want to take the best advantae of your time, you needto take time for yourself.

$ou will spend less time reworkin thins you)ve done wron, mistakes you)ve madeand details you)ve missed. And your employer will et better Huality and outputreardless of your Cob.

4ilots are subCect to time constraints and can only spend so many hours in the airbecause airlines learned a lon time ao that a tired and overworked pilot could makecritical errors.

In lenthy neurosurery or heart surery, sureons take breaks and leave theoperatin room to clear their heads and rest.

 Aain, these habits and techniHues were learned the hard way and only when criticalmistakes were made did these work policies chane. $ou wouldn)t want a tired doctorworkin on your open heart, would you9

Life Goals – %veryone has oals. And you are probably no exceptions. $ou may havework and career@related oals like promotions, expanded responsibilities, and

reconition as an expert in your industry.

These are all fine, but be sure you don)t Cust focus on your Cob. +any people come toidentify their success in life by their position in their Cob and the reconition they etthere.

If they become disabled or sick, or if they retire, they suddenly find that they don)tknow themselves anymore.

They have no identity at work so they don)t know who they are. They may have lost

family and friends or have become straners to these people, unaware of theimportant events that happened at home while they were at work.

*o, they have to et to know themselves and their loved ones all over aain. 6orsome, this is an impossible task.

3e sure you set personal oals, family oals and eneral oals in your life for rowthand happiness.

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8hether it is oin on for a +asters eree in the fine art you love, learnin how to flya plane, or playin the piano, you should have oals that keep you involved in otherparts of your life.

8hile you are settin oals, don)t foret your family oals. 4erhaps you have alwayswanted to take your wife to 0awaii. *et the oal and a timetable and do it'

Remember that life $oals can include $i%in$ bac' to the communit and toothers"

It is interestin to note that, since so many people cannot achieve their personal oalsbecause of career obliations, we now find it difficult to et baseball coaches tovolunteer their time, or to et people to volunteer in hospitals and work for thecommunity as a volunteer ambulance driver or firefihter.

 "hat if your chances of achie#ing $assi#e wealth, hot ro$ancean! unli$ite! power are $ultiplie! thousan!s of ti$es o#er

or!inary people% &ow you can, using the long-lost incre!i'le

 $in! power secrets( !lick "ere To ind &ut 'ore

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It(s Time to Ta'e Action

?This strange disease of modern life, !ith its sic& hurry, its divided aims” ~ atthew %rnold ~

Now that we)ve discussed the reasons workElife balance is important, and you knowthat others feel as you do, what do you do about the problem9

$ou may hate what has happened to your life. 3ut, you probably don)t know how tochane the landscape. $ou will be happy to know that you "AN chane your life.

8hether you make this decision for health reasons, relationship reasons or simply outof the need to et control over your own life, you have more than enouh Custificationand motivation to make the move.

0owever, you need to make a firm commitment to this chane. 3e realistic about howfast and how far you can o with this plan.

3ut, let)s be clear about somethin' 8hat we are talkin about here is not Huittin your Cob and hopin that someone will donate money to the cause.

There is a real difference between achievin balance in your work and family life andthe idea that you don)t have to work at all.

8ork is part of life, and it is healthy and constructive. It pays the bills it ives us the

reward of real accomplishment and feelin of useful participation in the community andin society.

8hat we are talkin about here is the rational balance of your work and social life G abalance that is all too rare in today)s society, and one whose absence has caused sky@hih healthcare costs and a dramatic increase in stress, psycholoical and relationshipproblems.

Now that we are clear on the oals and reasons for workElife balance, let)s continue'If you)ve decided to Cump off the merry@o@round and seek some occasional solace

with your family and friends, you must have a plan for your escape. 6irst, and foremost, you must set oals' Involve your boss, co@workers, friends andfamily in the process and keep the lines of communication open, and you)ll end upwhere you want to be.

*ounds easy, doesn)t it9

ependin on your ae and how lon you have run the rat race, you may find it harder

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than you thouht it would be but with perseverance and the riht support network, youcan succeed.

Are ou read& )ood!

Then, without further ado, let)s proceed'

)lic* Here To +isco#er A ery Si$ple Syste$ To inally .et

 More Things +one /n Less Ti$e( 

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*The Career( +ersus *The ob(

?!or& e("ands so as to fill the time available for its com"letion” ~ C. )orthcote*ar&inson ~

3efore you decide to tell your boss that you simply must have more time off to spendwith the family, you)ll need to consider a few thins.

6irst, most lare companies now support balanced life plans G in other words, theyreconiBe the need for their employees to take vacations, take time off to o to thedoctor with a sick child, and et home for dinner at a reasonable hour.

3ut, in some companies, that commitment is lip service only. In other words, what thehuman resource policies say is one thin. The reality is Huite somethin else.

In smaller comanies, all bets are off!

*ome companies are so small that they are not subCect to overnment reulationsreardin hours but it is important for you to understand that in today)s world, nocompany in the !.*. can abuse an employee by workin them # hours a day.

Remember, there are labor laws to protect you.

The first thin you need to do is to understand your rihts. If you live in a country otherthan the !.*., you will have to look at the labor laws there to determine what you can

expect when you o to talk to your boss.

Remember, the better prepared you are, the better chance you will have at ettinwhat you need. If your boss does not know the law, you)ll need to be prepared toeducate her.

3efore you bein to execute your plan to balance your life, you)ll want to think carefullyabout your Cob, and your career oals.

$ou)ll find some thouht@provokin considerations below.

Think carefully about each of these thins, and add your own considerations to the list,if you have some that are specific to your own Cob.

If you really want balance and chane in your life, you have to plan for it and thencarefully execute the plan with dedication and persistence.

0ere are some thins to considerJ

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●  Are you a member of a union9 If so, there are rules reardin your workhours and these must be enforced. $ou can talk to a union steward to ethelp with this.

● o you have a contract that reHuires you to work certain hours9 If you do,you may have to chane Cobs to et the balance you want in your life.

● If you are in a position that is critical to the company G in other words, no one

else can do what you do G then you may out of luck when it comes to ettinreduced hours.

●  Are you makin a ridiculous amount of money in your Cob9 If you are, yourhours are probably not neotiable.

The company you work for certainly expects you to earn the money they pay you andthe enerous compensation is meant to reward you for the hours and stress.

 Aain, you may have to chane Cobs and, at the same time, chane your salaryexpectation.

● oes everyone in your company andEor department work craBy hours9 Thereare some Cobs @ like technical support in a company with critical data stored onservers, or networks G where you will not have the option to neotiate yourdeparture time on certain days.

4erhaps, on other days when thins are Huiet and slow, you can ask your boss to letyou leave early andEor et compensatory time to reward you for the craBy hours youare expected to work durin an emerency.

on)t despair if you are a trauma nurse, or you work in the operatin room or in other

 Cobs where you have to work really touh shifts.

+any hospitals, fire departments and other such companies are now usin a #@day on,7@day off schedule or other schedules that let these critical workers spend more timewith their families.

These flexible schedules also allow employees to schedule daytime appointments,and to decompress from the sometimes@stressful experiences and events that occurwhile they are on the Cob.

If your employer does not participate in these schedules, perhaps you want to takeyour skills elsewhere.

*easonal Cobs may ive you the opportunity to neotiate hours, as well. 4ut your noseto the rindstone durin "hristmas hours in a retail store, or summer hours in a surfshop, and ask for extra time off to reward your dedication durin the off@season.

@ &ook carefully at your position and determine if you have a /Cob) or a /career). If youare in it for the lon haul and hope to continue the climb to upper manaement, you

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can expect to work much loner hours and endure a lot more stress.

"an you take another Cob in a lower stress environment, perhaps a company thatprides itself on bein /family friendly) and still et into manaement9

If you want to stay in the company you are in, and continue to climb, and if your

company is not dedicated to a balanced life for their employees, you may find it verydifficult, if not impossible, to balance your life.

@ If you are in a position to do so, and your company does not reconiBe the need forand value of a balanced work and family approach, consider oin to your humanresource department or to your manaer and startin a rass roots movement to lookat this issue.

Of course, manaement may immediately think you simply want to do less work thanthey want you to accomplish. To counter this, you)ll need to arm yourself with

information.

There are all kinds of studies on increased productivity, employee retention andperformance that support the decision to create a balanced work and familyenvironment.

"ompanies like u4ont, +otorola, 0ewlett@4ackard, +arriott International, %ddie3auer Inc. and many others have instituted these prorams and your employer maylook to these leaders to et some ideas.

There are resources available online for you and for your company. These resourcesinclude seminars for company employees, and documents that teach manaers andemployees how to better manae time and workload so that the employee canaccomplish more work, and produce excellent output G all in less time.

&ook at sites like theseJhttpJEEwww.bc.eduEcentersEcwfEhttpJEEcwfr.la.psu.eduEresearch.htmhttpJEEwww.familiesandwork.orEhttpJEEwww.workandfamily.orE

httpJEEwww.workfamily.comEhttpJEEhrweb.mit.eduEworklifeEindex.htmlhttpJEEwww.uml.eduEcentersE"68"E

$ou)ll notice that many of these sites are sponsored by universities and theseuniversities often participate with companies to help them execute a workElife balancestratey.

In exchane, the university ains valuable insiht and knowlede that they use to

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advance their studies.

$ou will also notice that many of these sites have online courses, or self@pacedcourses to walk manaement andEor employees throuh the process of plannin forand executin a balanced workElife proram.

@ If the reason you are workin really lon hours, under tremendous stress is that yourboss is a lunatic, then you need to chane Cobs. 3efore you do that, you have tohonest with yourself.

3e sure that you aren)t contributin to the problem and that you have honestly tried toimprove your relationship. 3e sure that you don)t make thins worse by offerin towork loner hours or take someone else)s shift because you feel uilty.

If your attitude and feelins of obliation about work are contributin to your lon hoursand buryin you work you can never finish, you have to make some chanes in your

work habits. This may sound easy, but it isn)t necessarily so.

+any people function from uilt and take on more than they should because they wanttheir bosses and co@workers to like them or they think they will et a promotion orraise, when they actually aren)t reHuired to do more than perform well in order to bereconiBed.

If you have emotional issues about what is enouh, or how to be well liked on the Cob,you have to address those.

*ome companies offer Cob coaches, or life coaches to help you throuh theseobstacles. If not, consider ettin a life coach on your own time or o to a counselorand work throuh your issues.

Remember, it is important to do a ood Cob and even, many times, to o the extra mile,but you should never put yourself in a position where you do all the work while otherpeople et paid the same amount or more and et promotions or time off when you donot.

If you et to this point in your readin and you have become convinced that you would

have to chane companies and Cobs in order to achieve the balance you desire, don)tbe discouraed.

8hile you may think there are no companies out there that stress workElife balance,you would be surprised at the number of companies G small and lare G that areembracin this philosophy as a way to attract and retain ood employees.

"ompanies as diverse as "hubb, 2.". 4enney, 4rintin6or&ess, and R*+ +c&adreyhave prorams in place, and report that their employees and manaers have

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enthusiastically embraced the workElife balance.

%mployees are workin toether in teams, better than ever before, to ensure that thework flow continues when they are away at attendin a dauhter or son)s kinderartenraduation or takin advantae of a four day work week to catch up on their olfame.

 As this trend continues, and more companies are forced to consider this balancedenvironment to attract and keep valuable employees and skills, your search for theperfect company will become much easier.

In the meantime, loo' around"

These companies are much easier to find than they used to be and it is moreacceptable today to say that you want this balance G whether you are male or female,youn or experienced, or workin as an executive or a retail clerk.

The last area we need to discuss in the work half of the workElife balance is Time+anaement.

This may not apply to everyone, but it certainly applies to many people.

In surveys done across many Cob cateories, includin construction, service industrieslike hotels and restaurants, small business owners and corporate mouls, a larepercentae of those surveyed said that they felt they needed to improve their timemanaement skills so that they didn)t need to spend as much time at work.

+any wanted to reduce the time they had to spend reworkin tasks they had alreadyperformed because they had done it wron the first time.

$ou will find a few simple tips below, to et your time under control.

If you do these thins, you will find that, even in the most stressful and time@consumin Cobs, you can reduce the hours you spend at work, and arrive home in aless stressed, more family@friendly frame of mind'

Make a ‘To o! List G Then put these items in order, startin with the most critical. Ifyou could only et one thin done today, what would be the most important9

Cross the items off the list as ou comlete them, and don(t be distracted" -tafocused!

*ince we all have interruptions, be sure that, if you don)t accomplish the items towardthe bottom of you list on that day, you add them to your list the next day so you don)tdrop them.

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Use a dail lanner if that ma'es thin$s easier"

on!t "aste Time G !se your spare minutes well. Take the train to work instead ofdrivin and use that time to read critical reports you may have to review, or read yournew eHuipment trainin manual on the bus on the way home.

If you are oin to take a break durin the day and there is someone you have to see,stop by their office and rab them to o for coffee, then talk about the issue andresolve it while you are walkin out in the sunshine and enCoyin your Cava.

$ou)ll feel like you took a break AN ot somethin accomplished at the same time.

#ust Say ‘$o! @ If your boss wants you to work late and you have a familyenaement, but you could work late the next niht or come early in the mornin,suest alternatives and see if those will work.

on)t be so Huick to accept the command without probin to find out if there is anotherway to handle it.

If a co@worker asks you to lunch and you +!*T finish a report by 7J::, politely declinethe invitation and suest dinner or coffee later instead, and et the report done.

That way you don)t have to ive up the pleasurable experience, but you won)t bestressed out and workin until =J:: p.m. with your boss standin over your shoulderbemoanin the delay.

If the proCect your boss dumps on your desk is a /rush) but she already ave yousomethin that must be completed today, ask for clarification on priorities and iveyour boss a reasonable proCection of how lon it will take to do both proCects andwhether you can do both.

on)t Cust take the proCect on and then not finish the other task she ave you, or youwill both be unhappy. *peak up'

%no& 'our (rain G o you know what the "ircadian "lock is9 It)s that little clock in

your brain that controls when you feel the most wide awake and when you want to oto sleep.

If you are a mornin person, attack the most difficult problems in the mornin whenyour brain is the sharpest. That way you won)t have to rework the problem the nextday when you discover that the /afternoon you) made the wron decision about thebudet.

Get )nou*h Slee+ G $our brain can operate on a short nap for a day, but if you are

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not sleepin enouh, you will not think well or process information and you)ll makemistakes and end up stayin late to fix them.

 ,dvertise 'our Schedule @ If you hate ettin phone calls first thin in the mornin,before you et your day oraniBed and have your first cup of coffee, then let your callso to voicemail until you feel ready to take the calls.

$ou will be more focused and et more accomplished, instead of havin to say, ?I)llhave to et back to you on thatK after hearin a ten minute explanation of the latestcrisis.

(e 'our &n Master G *it down with a pencil and paper or a calendar and fiure outhow much free time you have.

*chedule and plan your activities at work and et your personal and family obliationson the calendar. Treat these personal obliations with the same respect you would

treat a business meetin.

on)t cancel personal appointments unless it is a real work emerency and, in thecase where you +!*T cancel, reschedule immediately and apoloiBe to your friend orfamily member.

%xplain what is happenin so they don)t think they are unimportant to you. And be sureto keep the appointment you make with them the next time'

on!t Procrastinate or ,*oni.e G on)t spend time durin a family dinner worryin

about the presentation tomorrow. 4ut your mind back where it belons. 8orryin neverhelped anyone accomplish a oal.

If you are prepared for the presentation, Cust do it. If you aren)t prepared, it is doubtfulthat you will be prepared by the mornin.

-o don(t #orr about it"

on)t procrastinate because you don)t like a particular activity.

6IR*T do those thins you dislike the most, and then reward yourself by doin thethins you most like to do.

4ut thins on the calendar and stick to the dates G don)t talk yourself into waitin oryou will Cust have more to do tomorrow'

Train and ele*ate G on)t tell yourself you don)t have the time to show someoneelse how to do that Cob that you R%A&&$ don)t have to do.

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Take the time to teach them and soon you will have a well@oiled team machine oin,with everyone doin what they are capable of doin.

on)t worry that the employee will take your Cob.

If you create a functionin team with everyone performin well, your reputation as a

manaer, mentor and coach will ive you a shot at that promotion you want.

 And, when you don)t have to do A&& the work yourself, you will find a lot more time toet those other tasks done and still et out of the office, shop or store on time and ethome for +om)s birthday dinner.

The other benefit to this time manaement techniHue is that, when you o on vacationor take that lon@awaited three day weekend to o skiin, you will not have to call theoffice every hour to be sure there isn)t some problem you have to solve.

$our family will reatly appreciate havin your attention on a dedicated basis for a fewdays of much@needed bondin.

 And don)t overlook Cob@sharin prorams, and cross@trainin as concepts that willnicely cover responsibilities and ensure that the company keeps runnin when you arenot there.

Get r*ani.ed G It is impossible to manae your schedule if you can)t find thins or ifyou have to recreate work or reinvent somethin because you lost it.

Take that Action &ist to heart and, startin today, put a task at the top of the list tooraniBe files, or to rearrane the store or inventory so it is easier to stock or to findthins.

Once you have thins oraniBed, don)t let them et out of control aain.The only way to Custify the work involved in that reoraniBation is if you NO8 you willnever have to o throuh it aain'

%ee+ a /ealistic Pers+ective @ *ettin unrealistic oals is a mistake G whether it isthe completion date of a software proCect, or the time you think you can deliver that

report to your manaer, if you underestimate the time reHuired to et the work done,you will end up workin late and you)ll look bad to your boss.

3e realistic about when you plan to complete tasks and do your homework to be surethat you can accomplish the task in this timeframe.

"onsider other ways to et the Cob done if you think these considerations will help youmeet the deadline faster, but don)t promise what you can)t deliver.

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It is ood to set oals that challene you, but if you can never reach the oal, you willnot do yourself any favors.

8e)ll talk about your oals and what you really want in a little while, but for riht now,you need to think realistically about your dedication to a balanced life.

It will come with some sacrifices in certain areas, but it will reap many benefits in yourlife G health, relationships and happiness to name a few.

Is balancin your work and your family life important enouh for you to make sometouh choices9 If it isn)t, you may not et the balance you want.

.ecide NOW! -tart TO.AY!

 (ant To "ave Your )hone Ringing &ff The "ook (ith "ot *ob +nterviews nd

Top *ob &ffers- !lick "ere ow 

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/eein$ the 0ome 1ire 2urnin$

?!or& is the meat of life, "leasure the dessert” ~ Bertie Charles orbes ~

8e)ve talked about the work environment and some of the considerations there. Now,it)s time to open the 4andora)s 3ox and talk about your family situation.

!nless you are startin your career  fresh, with no history, you probably have a lot offence mendin to do.

$our family and friends may be very discouraed and disappointed that you haven)tfound a way to balance your life and spend more time with them.

If this is the case, you need to talk to your family and your friends and tell them whatyou have in mind. Tell them that you are oin to dedicate yourself to achievin

balance in your life and ask them for their opinion.

Remember, that you don)t have to take every suestion anyone ives you, and makeclear that you will do what you feel is best in the end, but you want his or her thouhtson the topic.

&isten carefully and be honest with yourself and with your friends and family aboutwhat you can expect to achieve.

.on(t romise #hat ou can(t deli%er"

If there are oin to be issues on which you must compromise, if you will have to lookfor another Cob where you will make less money in order to achieve your oals, besure they understand that sacrifice, as well.

There should be no surprises. 3efore you start this discussion, put some thouhts ofyour own on paper and think throuh what you can achieve, realistically.

3e prepared to talk to your family and friends and have some idea of how you willexecute your plan.

$ou can chane this plan and work with your family to adCust it, but you need to o inwith *O+% plan or you will face a chaotic mix of accusation, opinion and emotion.0ere are some links to et you started. After you look at these links, you may haveother Huestions and ideas. eep track of these.

8rite them down so that you can address all the issues with your boss and yourfamily.

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The Center for !or& and the amilyhttpJEEwww.centerforworkandfamily.comE

)ational +nstitute of ealthhttpJEEwflc.od.nih.ovE

uestia nline Library for !or& and amilyhttpJEEwww.Huestia.comElibraryEsocioloy@and@anthropoloyErelationships@and@the@familyEfamilyEwork@[email protected]"RILworkMandMfamilyO66ILse-%$LworkMfamily&IL-#>=7=

*B/httpJEEwww.pbs.orEworkfamilyE

Bella nlinehttpJEEwww.bellaonline.comEsiteEworkandfamily

If you do your homework online, you)ll find many more links that are useful.

There are sites that taret workin womens) issues, sites that specifically taret stressat work and many other topic@specific sites to help you deal with your Cob and yourfamily in a way that makes life easier for the ones you love.

8hen you come up some ideas to discuss with your family, be sure you preface yourdiscussion by explainin that you want to chane your focus and balance.

Tell them that you know that work has been pullin you away and you want to fix that.2ust knowin that you reconiBe the problem and want to work on it, will make themfeel better.

If you have children, talk to your spouse or sinificant other before you call a familymeetin.

"onsider how you want to address this with the kids and remember that children willoften take what you say very literally so don)t play fast and loose with your lanuae.Think carefully about what you want to say and the words you will use and only

promise them what you can deliver.

on)t lead them to think you are Huittin your Cob to stay home with them and play allday G unless you)ve Cust won the lottery, of course'

It is likely that whatever plan you have to reain some balance in your life will takeawhile to execute, so don)t promise that everythin will be fixed by tomorrow.

$ou may have to look for, find and train in a new Cob. $ou may have to cut back on

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expensive purchases and lifestyle. And of course, you need to boost your enery tomeet up with the demands. 3e sure everyone is on board before you pull away from the dock' +ake sure thechildren understand how important this to them and to you and what they will et inreturn.

$ou may think that is clear, but dependin upon their ae, it may not be as clear tothem as it is to you and your spouse.

 As you make your plans for workElife balance, consider these thinsJ

$ou may be tradin lon hours for financial stress, if you are oin to take a Cob forless pay. 0ow will that impact the family and your commitment to this process9 "anyou find ways to offset some of the impact of this financial decision9

If you are not chanin Cobs, but you are oin to manae your schedule in a differentway, how will you chane your family schedule to accommodate that9

"an you eat dinner a bit later, so you can eat toether as a family9 "an you take thechildren to an early movie to spend time with them before you take that afternoonshift9

If you and your spouse work different shifts to be home with the children, include timein your plan for the two of you to et toether. If you have to make a date to do that,don)t be shy about it.

"an you share a cup of coffee in between shifts9 5et up a little earlier9 5o to bed alittle later9 on)t nelect that most important person in your life.

8hatever your schedule is, find some Huiet time for yourself, and Huiet time with yourfamily without the T1 playin in the backround. %at dinner toether or play a ame.8hen you o rocery shoppin with the children, take a break and o to the back ofthe store for a cup of coffee and a douhnut. The kids will appreciate the time with youand it will make the shoppin more tolerable. 6ind time to do somethin as a family atleast once a week. Order a piBBa so you don)t have to cook and spend the time

playin a board ame, or takin a hike.

4ick an activity that everyone likes and Cust do it' It sounds corny, but even a fewminutes of this kind of activity will ive you a lot more balance in your life.

 Assumin you have done what you need to do to find more time away from work, or tochane Cobs, you may think you)ve now completed the transition. 3ut, that is far fromthe truth.

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The fact is that balancin work and family G in short balancin your life G can be aconstant challene.

There are lots of distractions and, that extra time you)ve carved out of your workschedule will not do your friends and family much ood if you spend it parked in frontof the T1 or computer, instead of with the ones you love.

To complete your plan, you)ll need to develop two traits3 /elf-disci"line andawareness.

+ost of us suffer from the absence of both of these traits, but if you focus on them andon breakin bad habits that distract you and take you away from what you really wantto do, you will be much happier.

6irst, let)s talk about self@discipline. The absence of this trait is what ets you off track.It is what pulls you to the computer casino ame instead of out to the back yard to play

a ame of catch with your son.

It is what makes you put off those chores and tasks G whether they are home or workrelated G that then sprin full@rown at J:: p.m. to remind you that you must completethem before mornin.

 And you spend another evenin in the den or office crunchin numbers for bills, orfinishin that proCect you put off, instead of tuckin your dauhter into bed or visitinwith your husband over a lass of wine.

8hen you catch yourself listenin to the news anchor while your wife tries, in vain, totell you about her day, reach for the remote and turn off the T1.

*elf@discipline and breakin old habits o hand in hand. If you)ve otten used tobecomin a veetable when you et home from work, it won)t matter how much extratime you et with your family.

 You #ill siml fritter it a#a!

 Awareness is also important. 3ecome aware of what you are doin, what you are

sayin and every time you catch yourself takin thins for ranted, remember that thelittle time you have with your family and friends is important and pay attention.

Listen to #hat our friend, souse or child is sain$ to ou"

&isten to your father when he calls you on the phone and wants to tell you about thefish he cauht. And look for the opportunities to rab a special moment durin thechaos of your week. on)t Cust slide throuh life.

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4a'e it haen!

There are two other thins you may want to consider in your Huest for balance athome. These two thins will ive you more balance and enender better relationships.

 And once you)ve laid the roundwork, they will pretty much manae themselves.

The first consideration is3 Rules!

4erhaps you are thinkin that you hate rules. +ost people do, but they are anecessary evil in life.

Think about it' &aws are nothin more than societal rules that keep the wheelsreased and runnin and prevent chaos.

Rules in your workElife balance will ive you and your family structure and, if and when

the rules are bent or broken, the exceptions must be carefully explained.

$our family and you must know that you mean business and, only when there areextenuatin circumstances, are the rules bent or broken.

2ut, Rules are ne%er i$nored!

Rules apply to when and how the family will et toether and to thins like whetheryour child can stay out late on a school niht or whether they are expected to attend afamily birthday party.

They also apply to $O! as they relate to when you)ll come home from work andwhether you will attend the 6riday niht movie with the family or be off and say youhave to work. 0ow often will you make it to the leaue soccer ame or the lacrosseames9

Rules are for e%erone"

 A ood way to establish these rules is to have the family sit down toether anddevelop the list. %veryone can vote and everyone)s opinion counts. *ome rules may

be very simple and some may be temporary.

3ut if you have a set of rules printed or typed on your refrierator, you and your familywill feel more confident in your balance and will know better what to expect in a certainsituation.

3ut, don)t expect the family to obey the rules, if you don)t obey them. $ou have to keepyour end of the barain too'

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The second consideration is3 Communication!

To keep your life and the life of your family in balance, you need time and attention.3ut you also need effective communication.

%ven if your Cob is demandin, you can balance your life better with your family if you

make them part of the eHuation.

$our Cob and what you do when you are away from home on business should not be amystery.

If you have to o out of town, tell the family where you are oin, when you will beback and why you are oin and use telephone, email and text messain to keep intouch so they don)t feel like you are on another planet.

If you say you are oin to call at a certain time, be sure to do so'

on)t leave them hanin. &eave silly notes or messaes to find while you are awayand brin home little ifts.

$ou don)t have to brin anythin expensive G some kids et a kick out of the smallketchup bottles that come with your room service order.

That is easy, and inexpensive and it lets them know you are thinkin about them.If you can have dinner toether at niht, do so and keep the conversation pleasant.on)t choose dinnertime to brin up bad rades or that boyfriend you can)t stand.

 Your 'ids #ill not #ant to ha%e dinner #ith ou, if ou do that"

+ake the mealtime conversation pleasant, and keep the distractions out of the dininroom. No T1, music or other disruptions.

6amily meetins are a reat way to keep the lines of communication open and, aain,everyone)s opinion counts and everyone ets the floor to say what they need to say.eep the meetins constructive and informative and talk about whatever is oin on inyour lives.

 A twenty@minute family meetin will ive you a chance to touch base and feelconnected and, even if you are workin lon hours, you will not feel like a straner inyour own home.

 Aree on how and when you will communicate throuhout the day G even when youare not home. Is your child expected to call you and check in when he ets home fromfootball practice9

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"reate a mail slot or an /in box) for all the notices from school, permission slips andother items. A mailbox for each person in the family is even better, if you have theroom.

Then, you can leave little notes for each other to keep in touch, or Cust to say hello, or/I love you).

+isco#er An Effortless, Al$ost Magical "ay To )reate the Life

0f Your +rea$s((( !lick "ere To ind &ut

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0o# is Your -ocial Life&

?Life is "ainting a "icture, not doing a sum” ~ liver !endell olmes ~

8hile we are on the subCect of your personal life, let)s not foret your friends.%veryone has them and everyone needs them.

6riends are a necessary social extension and they provide an outlet, a roup of like@minded people who share values, thouh perhaps not always every opinion.Time out with friends, whether they are old hih school buddies or friends you)ve madeat work, is important.

 A movie, a cup of coffee, an occasional dinner, perhaps even sharin an activity youboth like, such as bowlin, olf, baseball, slot machines, a book club, or oin to themovies, the theater or the ballet.

 All of the techniHues we discussed for your family life can also be applied to yourfriends.

 Above all, keep in touch. *chedule events and et@toethers with a realistic eye towhat you can achieve.

+any people work lon hours, have demandin Cobs and still manae to participate inmonthly roups, or scheduled activities. And, this is a welcome relief from theirruelin work schedule.

4ut the appointments on your calendar Cust as you would any business meetin, andbe dutiful about keepin the appointment even if it seems a uilty pleasure durin thatcritical crunch season at work.

If you must cancel, communicate clearly with your friendPsQ and let them know why youhave to reschedule.

.O reschedule"

on)t leave it to chance or you will never et toether.

8hen you o out with friends, even if they are co@workers, use your newly learnedskills in self@discipline to keep you out of the realm of work discussion.

on)t talk shop, or you will not et away from the stress you tried to leave behind atthe office. It is a hard habit to break, and it may take some time and focus to learn thenew habit.

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$ou can make it fun by areein that the person who breaks the /don)t talk shop) codefirst will have to buy a round of drinks or coffee, or has to pay for dinner.

$ou)d be amaBed at how Huickly your co@workers will learn the lesson'

If you have a friend, or a roup of old collee chums with whom you love to socialiBe,

try to pick a monthly or weekly date G the second Tuesday of every month, forexample G and et toether then.

%veryone will look forward to these occasions and you won)t feel so deprived of socialcontact.

urin times of hih stress and lon hours, take the time to o out for a walk or et acup of coffee or have lunch with someone outside the office.

5et away from the people you see in the halls every day and et a breath of fresh air.

 You(ll feel much better"

on)t ive up the activities and friends you love. %xercise and socialiBation are key tobalancin your life and even thouh you may feel they can be postponed until a timewhen your career is not on hih speed, your health will benefit from the short breaksand scheduled visits you insist on takin.

8e)ll talk more about stress and exercise later, and how these fiure into life balance.Riht now, let)s focus on your friends.

If your friends have fallen by the wayside with the advent of your most recent and mosthectic Cob, you need to et some more friends fast.

4an does not li%e b #or' alone!

 And thouh your family is very important to you, your friends serve a different purpose.They are often more honest with you than your family can be and they will forive andforet without the same intimate emotional attachment of a spouse, a mother or abrother.

$ou can count on them to make you lauh and to share your successes and failures.They are part of your psycholoical armor  and a necessary part of your life)s balance.If you need to reconnect with friendship, you can often find someone with whom youshare common values at work, or in an industry association or club.

Or you may find a friend that shares a passion for a sport or an activity while attendina sportin event or on line at the movie theater.

*eek out friends actively and don)t be afraid to invite your new friend for a drink or

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coffee. There is no harm done if the friendship does not blossom.

6riends make you more interestin and expand your horiBons.

 And, they keep you from becomin a borin, /all work and no play) kind of person. Aain, you have to be disciplined, have a plan and pay attention, to take advantae of

these opportunities.

?!or& is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it fortomorrow”

~ 0on erold ~

/cientific reakthrough ives You The +ncredible )ower To !ontrol 'inds,!hange ehaviors, nd 'ake nyone $$R To ulfill Your $very 2esire...

 (ithout Them $ver 3nowing +t !lick "ere or 2etails

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-ettin$ E5ectations

!p until now, we have only touched on expectations, but they are perhaps the mostimportant part of your balancin plan. %xpectations come into play in several ways.1irst, there are YOUR e5ectations"

8hat is it that you expect to et from a more balanced life9 +ore free time9 A closerrelationship with your spouse9 The time to pursue an advanced deree9

+aybe, you want to learn to speak *panish or ride a horse9 Any or all of these thinsare fine oals, but your expectation to achieve balance must take into considerationthat some of these oals will take +OR% time away from your family.

*o, the first thin you have to do is to et it straiht in your own mind. 8hat is/balance) for you9

Is it more time for yourself9 +ore time for your family9 on)t make a promise to etmore workElife balance and then sHuander that balance with poor plannin.

8hat do you expect to achieve9 0ow will this balance chane your life9

 Are you expectations realistic for the planned timeframe and actions you want to takeor are you dreams too lare9

Once you have your own expectations under control, you)ll need to look to your

employer and your family and friends to be sure that you understand and can meettheir expectations.

It is all well and ood that you expect to reain some balance in your life but if youremployer still thinks you should work eihty hours per week, you aren)t likely to et far.4ut it on paper. Then talk to the people most important to you and those whosesupport is crucial G like your boss G to find out what T0%$ expect. Then comparenotes and fiure out if everythin is alined.

If it isn)t, you)ll have to adCust the plan. Once you et the plan riht, you can move

forward more Huickly and with more success.

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-ettin$ )oals

?Time is the coin of your life. +t is the only coin you have, and only you can determinehow it will be s"ent. Be careful lest you let other "eo"le s"end it for you” ~ Carl

/andburg ~

Now, let)s talk about 5oals. &ike any other important life decision, you have to haveoals or you are shootin in the dark.

To set 5oals for your workElife balance, you have to take your expectations andtranslate them into the /what) of what you want to achieve and the /when). 3e asspecific as possible.

6or example, if you are oin to look for a new, less demandin Cob, your oals mihtinclude the industry you want to work in, the type of Cob you want to et and how much

money you want to make, as well as when you want to et the Cob.

0ere are some examples to et you startedJ

?+y oal is to et an excellent Cob with one of the Top Ten banks in the !.*., as a3ank +anaer, by +ay of ::(K

?Reduce the number of hours I work by -: hours per week in time for 2ohn)s ::(&ittle &eaue *easonK

?1isit my mother every *unday for at least three hoursK

?Train @7 people on my staff to take over the bookkeepin process by 2anuary ofnext yearK

?*chedule and keep a weekly date with +ary for dinner and a movieK

-imle, ri$ht&

Remember, the best way to set oals is to word them simply but specifically'

That way you can measure your success without tryin to uess whether yousucceeded.

The next task at hand is to fiure out 0O8 to achieve your oals.

Remember that your expectations and oals must be realistic or you will never et towhere you want to be'

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Now it is time to fiure out Cust how realistic your expectations and oals are, becauseyou have to establish a plan to achieve those oals'

&et)s take the first example and see what we can do with that one.

?+y oal is to et a Cob with one of the Top Ten banks in the !.*., as a 3ank

+anaer, by +ay of ::(K

To establish a workable plan for this oal you would need to consider the followinHuestions.

● 8hat are the top -: banks in the !.*.9● 0ow do you find out what Cobs are available at each bank9●  Are you Hualified for the 3ank +anaer Cobs in these banks9● 8ill these Cob openins reHuire you to move your family to another location9●  Are there Cob placement aencies you can use to find these Cobs and arrane for

interviews9● o you have an up@to@date resume9● o you have the appropriate wardrobe for this Cob9● o you have ood references9● o your family andEor spouse support this decision9● Is it realistic to expect that you can research, find and et this Cob by +ay, ::(9

$ou can probably think of more Huestions you)ll have to answer'

3ut, this list will ive you some idea of the considerations involved in Cust one oal.

6or every oal you set, you will have to think about how reasonable the oal is, howachievable it is and exactly how you plan to accomplish it in the timeframe you haveset for yourself.

8hen it comes to the oals of your family and friends, the emotional attachment anddesire to do the riht thin may make it hard to think clearly and to accurately plan forhow and when these thins will happen.

3e honest with yourself and with each other and by all means include your supportnetwork in the plan.

 Ask your family to come up with ideas about how you can accomplish these thins.3rainstorm and leave the door open for craBy ideas.

$ou)d be surprised at what you miht uncover in this way.

Then sit down and pick throuh the plan and decide which ideas will work and whichmust be discarded.

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 As you start to execute your plan, be sure you review it occasionally to ensure that youare still on taret and decide if you have to chane anythin.

Life haens!

 And, you may have to chane some of your timetables and tasks to incorporate the

unexpected chanes in your life.

6or example, you may plan to take a Cob that pays less and ives you more time athome to help care for an ain parent.

3ut, if that parent reHuires some sort of catastrophic care or expensive medicaltreatment, you may have to keep the hiher payin Cob to earn the money you need.If so, are there community support services and low@cost, hih@Huality careivers thatcan come in an work a few hours every day so you can continue to work the lonerhours at work to pay for the care9

If not, do you have family members or friends that can pitch in for a little while until youfiure out what to do next9

oes the parent have a home that can be sold to help pay for the extra healthcarecosts9

Remember, there is always more than one way to solve a problem. on)t panic anddon)t ive up on your workElife balance oals.

2ust find another way to accomplish them and be realistic about whether you canachieve them in the same time period.

4erhaps you need to extend your timetable a bit to accommodate the newdevelopments in your life.

That doesn(t mean ou #on(t $et there"

2ust knowin you have a continency plan will keep you afloat and movin forward.

Remember! 6LAN is not 7ust another four8letter #ord!

)lic* Here To +isco#er A ery Si$ple Syste$ To inally .et

 More Things +one /n Less Ti$e( 

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Communication is /e

?Life is the continuous ad1ustment of internal relations to e(ternal relations” ~ erbert/"encer ~

8e talked a bit about communication when we discussed family issues, but here thetopic is broader.

In eneral, communication will help you balance life and work by establishin clearboundaries and expectations with others.

This list includes our mana$er, our friends, our famil and our co8#or'ers"

6irst and foremost, don)t assume that others know what is oin on. %ven if yoursecretary has a copy of your calendar on her computer, she may not have looked at it

today.

*pend a few minutes with your assistants, staff or others in the mornin to be sureeveryone is on the same pae.

+ake sure everyone knows your schedule for the day, when you will in the office andavailable and when you miht be away at meetins.

If you are leavin for a business trip, be sure you leave critical contact information soyou don)t have to fix problems after you return to the office.

If you are an employee and you are expected to perform a certain task, ask Huestionsto be sure you know what has to be done, if there are preferred methods toaccomplish the task and when these tasks need to be completed.

.on(t lea%e thin$s to chance"

If you do, your boss may rab you on your way out at the end of your shift and tell youthat you have to stay and finish somethin.

Communicate!

%xchane information with others and find out how they do thins. $ou may learn abetter or faster way to et thins done and you can et out the door with fewer hoursunder your belt.

 At home, be sure that everyone knows the schedule, when they need to be home forfamily events and what is expected of them.

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If everyone pitches in and understands their role, no one person will be stuck workinat chores or doin homework, instead of havin some fun family time toether.

8ith friends, be clear about when you are free and be sure your friends understandthat they have a place in your life and are important to you.

+ake dates and let them know if these dates are subCect to chane because of latework hours.

Try to plan events when you don)t have anythin really pressin at work, so you won)tbe distracted.

 You(ll find that ou $et more en7oment out of our time #ith friends"

If you have elder care issues, make sure you communicate often with your family andet any doctor)s appointment or enaement on your calendar if you are expected to

transport or help your parent or ailin uncle.

3e sure that everyone understands what is important to you G your values, prioritiesand the thins you are willin to put aside because of more critical issues.

This will help your staff, family and friends to accommodate and chane appointmentsif they see a conflict.

 And never foret that communication is a two@way street. 3e sure $O! understand thepriorities of your boss, your friends, your co@workers, your wife, your mother and your

children.

If you understand how others think and feel you can offer to pitch in and help asneeded and this is a favor they will ladly repay the next time $O! need help.

eep lists and information handy to offer if you have to leave work or home Huicklyand others need to know what has to be done.

eep copies of your schedule and itineraries handy when you travel, and always letothers know where to reach you and when you will be back.

In meetins, use flip charts to capture thouhts and record areements and teamcontracts so you don)t waste time tryin to fiure out what the team decided later on.If you are in an office Cob that reHuires reportin, communicate throuh email andwritten reports to be sure everyone knows the schedule, the action items and who isresponsible for what tasks.

This #ill sa%e ou time and trouble later"

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8hether you are in a meetin at work, talkin to a co@worker in a retail store ordiscussin the family vacation with a family member, practice /active listenin). on)ttune out'

Communication isn(t 7ust tal'in$"

+ost of what you)ll learn and use to et thins done comes from listenin to whatothers are tellin you.

Test for understandin to be sure you actually heard what you thouht you heard andinterpreted it correctly.

If you possess these skills, you have a sinificant advantae in personal relationships.No matter how little time your family has toether each day, if you are really talkin toeach other and listenin to each other, you are a world ahead of your neihbors inmaintainin balance in your life and in your relationships.

Thin' about it for 7ust a moment!

3alance is achieved with the focus and attention you place on a particular thin orperson.

If a person feels valued and important, if they feel they have your full attention whenyou are with them, you are well on your way'

2iscover "ow To et nyone To $agerly 2o nything You (ant...  !lick "ere or 2etails

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Tiin$ the -cales

?There is time for wor&. %nd time for love. That leaves no other time” ~ Coco Chanel ~

If you can)t afford to make maCor chanes in your career or your life to et the balanceyou need and want, there are some other ways to decompress and capitaliBe on thetime you O have for yourself and your family.

If you institute some simple chanes, you will 6%%& like you have more time foryourself and the time you have will be more rewardin.

In a moment, we will talk about the affects of stress on your body, your mind and yourlife and family.

-o, hold that thou$ht!

6irst, we should talk about makin the available time /better). +any people that havestudied and mastered workElife balance are busier than ever'

3ut they know how to transition between work and social life so that they don)t wastetime in limbo, tryin to shake off the worries of the day and, in the process, inorinthe time they O have with family members and friends.

3asically, it)s all in the approach'

.on(t let life run o%er ou!

5et control. now what you have to do and et it done. Then, when it is time totransition from home to work or from work to home, you will be ready for the transition. To accomplish this, you)ll want to think of your /work time) and your /personal time) asexistin in two different worlds.

%ach of these /worlds) reHuires different skills and a different focus, but they are bothimportant.

$ou can use some of the ideas here to create a /transition) ritual for yourself G one thatets you out of one world and ready for another.

To o from home to work, you can try these thinsJ

5et thins ready the niht before. on)t wait until the chaos of the mornin to packlunches and iron clothes.

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*in homework and pack your briefcase or car for work the niht before, so you don)tforet anythin.

The less rattled you are oin into the day, the less unbalanced you will feelthrouhout the day.

*et your alarm and et up on time so you don)t have to rush. Always allow enouhtime for that last minute emerency, if you have kids. They have a way of foilin thebest@laid plans.

$ou can try ettin up before everyone else does if you think this miht work for you.That will ive you a little Huiet time to et thins done in peace before the rest of thehouse starts to stir and you are less likely to foret thins in the rush.

*ome people use this extra Huiet time to have a cup of coffee and write out their list forthe day. 8hatever works for you is fine'

3e sure you don)t run short on time to et to work. If you have youn children, youhave to be creative here. A /oodbye) routine is a ood idea.

One that is fun and easy for the kids to et into will make the drop@off at daycare a loteasier and you will be out the door in no time.

These routines take a few tries to et riht, so be patient with yourself and yourchildren.

4erhaps you can make a ame of the tasks to be performed on the way out the doorby usin the familiar /*imon *ays). ?*imon says et your lunch out of the refrieratorK.

Others use an imaination ame to make the mornin o smoothly. 8hen you et tothe drop@off point, ask your child to tell you what they will do today and make it fun andoutraeous. ?8hat are you oin to do today, while I am at work9K ?I)m oin to climbthe castle wall and rescue the beautiful princess. 3ut first I have to kill the draon thatuards herK.

As soon as the understand the $ame, our 'ids #ill ta'e it from there!

6ocus on what fun thins they miht do that day, thins they will learn and howanxious you will be to hear about what they did when you see them in the evenin.

 And avoid the wrenchin oodbyes and feelins of loss.

0ave a plan for what you will do if your child is sick or if you wake up to a foot of snowand you can)t miss work.

!se your trip to work G by train, car or bus G to read a book you enCoy, make a list of

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action items for the day, have a cup of your favorite coffee or listen to your favorite "or meditation tape.

$ou)ll need that sense of en and oraniBation to et ready for the day, and you)llreet the problems of the day with calm, and focused approach.

?The harder you wor&, the harder it is to surrender” ~ 2ince Lombardi ~

 At the end of the day, don)t foret to transition back to your /social) world. *witch out ofthe work mindset and use your time in the car, train or bus to reproram yourself ."onsciously leave behind the work worries, make a short list of items to remember forthe next day if you need to do so G and then let it o.

&isten to your "s or read your book and focus on your family and friends. Thinkabout what you will do when you et home and about the thins you will share withyour family and what they miht want to tell you.

*ome people close the office door and meditate for a few minutes before they leave orthey use the very act of closin the door to /close the door on the day) as they say.

Whate%er #or's for ou is fine!

One woman completes the transition by fixin her make@up, chanin her shoes andsprayin a fresh scent of perfume in the bathroom on the way out of the office. Now,she)s ready for the evenin'

 An advertisin executive chanes his clothes to casual clothin and puts on a clownnose for the drive home to et him in a silly mood. 0e ets a lot of stares by passindrivers, but he loves it.

$ou may have noticed that firefihters, and police officers never leave the stationhouse in their uniform at the end of their shift.

There are many reasons for that transition but the psycholoical transition of takin offthe /work clothes) and puttin on the street clothes is, nonetheless, a psycholoicaltransition that works for nurses, doctors, and firefihters alike.

6or anyone that wears a uniform, a suit or other clothin that they don)t wear at home,the transition is somethin they don)t have to explain.

The mother that wears a business suit and hih heels, is a different person to herchildren when she chanes back into her Ceans and t@shirt at home.

4a'e much of the homecomin$, too!

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5ive hus and kisses to all and announce your arrival. This will help you to transitionand it will ive your family the boost they need in seein you at the end of the day.

 And, don)t discount lauhter as a means of transition from work to home. If you like tolisten to stand@up comedians, or talk to a funny friend on the train on the way home, doso. &auhter has a very positive affect on your brain and on your outlook on life.

2ut, remember that comin$ home is not al#as a bed of roses"

$our spouse, children or parents may have had a hard day and they will save theirtroubles to tell you, their trusted confidante. After a lon and hard day at work, the lastthin you may feel like doin is to listen to troubles.

It hels to ta'e a breather"

5o chane, take a shower and relax for a few moments before you tackle the

discussion about bills and health problems.

$ou can anticipate these discussions by callin home before you leave work to checkin. Take the pulse of how thins are oin at home and find out who is havin a badday.

If you have to pick up your kids on the way home, and you are trapped in the car witha bundle of upset nervous enery, let them blow off steam and tell you their trials ofthe day for a few minutes.

Then turn on some music they like, settle in and aree that when you et home,everyone will take a deep breath and relax.

Reinforce that 0O+% is a soothin place' A place they can o to be with those thatcare about them and to et away from the problems of the day.

If $O! have a really touh day, tell your family that and ask for a few minutes tocompose yourself before you Coin in the fray.

3e sure that they know that they have done nothin wron and that you are Cust takin

the time for yourself because of the day you had at work.

 As you practice some of these techniHues, you are bound to come up with your ownideas and rituals and you should try them and make liberal use of those that work foryou, in order to help yourself with this transition.

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.ealin$ #ith -tress

4erhaps the most pervasive and difficult problem to solve in life balancin is that ofstress. 8hether you are at work or at home, there is likely some stress in your life, andthat stress can interfere with your enCoyment of your career and your social life.

*tress is what we experience when we must adCust to the constant and conflictindemands of our lives. If you like your Cob and work lon hours, if you are verycompetitive and always tryin to win, you may experience a more positive form ofstress.

3ut for most of us, when we experience unremittin stress, and we don)t know how tohandle it, it makes us anry, frustrated, irritable, depressed and fatiued. 8e may etheadaches or develop an ulcer, or perhaps we suffer from insomnia. !nless we canlearn to eliminate or mitiate stress, we will function poorly on the Cob, at home and

with friends.

ReconiBe that stress is real and that it can affect your health, your happiness andyour relationships. There are lots of ways to defeat stress, and you)ll need to find theriht one for yourself.

There are any number of sites that focus on stress, many of them sponsored byuniversities and containin some reat information and ideas about specific types ofstress and stressful events.

ependin on where most of your stress is, you may want to focus in a different area.If your boss is a maCor stressor in your life, if there is abuse or a hostile environment atwork, you have a different problem than the stress that comes from carin for an ailinparent, spouse or child or the stress that comes from financial troubles.

3ut, reardless of the cause of your stress, the effects are the same. %xtreme stresscan be short@lived, as in stress after the death of a loved one, or it can be lon@term.

 You ma as' ho# and #h stress fi$ures into our #or'9life balance $oals"

It is very simple. 8hether you are tryin to balance your time or simply improve theHuality of your life, it is important to acknowlede stress and to understand that thereI* somethin called positive stress, and somethin called neative stress.

4ositive stress is the stress you feel when you are plannin your dauhter)s weddinor when you are about to make an important presentation.

$ou may be happy about the event and lookin forward to the occasion, but thatdoesn)t mean there is no stress.

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That kind of stress is not harmful and can be Huite invioratin. 3ut, neative stress I*harmful, especially if it occurs over a lon period of time.

"onsider on@the@Cob stress, or stress in a relationship because of poor communicationor the absence of focused time spent with a loved one G all of these thins can

damae your health and the Huality of your life.

*o, start by identifyin the stressors in your life, and lookin for the places you feelmost stressed.

Then address the source of the stress, if you can. 3ecause, the best way to approachstress is head@on. &ater, we)ll talk about how you can relieve and mitiate stress if youare in a situation where you cannot eliminate it altoether.

3ut first, let)s look at how and when you can take chare and what you can chane.

 As we said earlier, you have to start by identifyin* the stressor0s1 and takin* stockof your reactions to this stress2

$otice the emotional and +hysical res+onses you have to stress. o yourmuscles tense9 o you et headaches9 o you et nauseous or have stomach pain9o you et nervous and irritable9 on)t pretend it isn)t an issue. 3e obCective aboutyour reactions.

$e3t4 fi*ure out &hat you can chan*e and ho& you can relieve or eliminate thestress2

"an you take those tasks or situations that cause you the most stress and schedule orspread them out so that you can tackle them when you are prepared and rested,rather than takin them on in a whirlwind with other thins oin on at the same time9

Can you shorten the time you are e3+osed to the stress5 If your boss is a reatstressor in your life, don)t schedule a one@hour meetin with her if you can avoid it.Instead, try stoppin by her office to talk briefly, or if you must schedule time, scheduleit durin times of the day when you are less likely to feel harried.

 And keep the meetins short and to the point. *tay on track and don)t et off ontanents that may make the situation more stressful.

6f you have times of day or situations &here you are under a lot of stress, try totake a break. 8alk outside for a few minutes or o to et coffee. 3reak the pattern andthen come back refreshed to finish the task.

6f you focus on makin* chan*es to avoid the stress G for example, extendintimetables to make a proCect more feasible, or settin more realistic oals G you will hit

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the problem at its root cause instead of tryin to run and catch up all the time.

Try to analy.e and alter your reaction to stress2 +uch of the damae done bystress is not done by the event itself, but instead by your body)s reaction to the event.$our body and mind perceive daner and react accordinly and everythin becomesexaerated. The daner seems more threatenin, the task more dauntin, and the

outcome more dismal.

/eason &ith yourself and ask 7&hat is the &orse that can ha++en58 Are youoverreactin to the stressor and makin your fear and emotional response worse9Is everythin as critical and time@sensitive as you think or are you Cust overly sensitiveto pleasin everyone, all at the same time9

on!t o9sess over the ne*ative factors and +redict failure. *tick to the positiveand, even if there are issues, focus on the thins that worked well and note them.T0%N revisit the places that didn)t work so well, with a more obCective eye toward

improvin the process, and try not to place or take blame. 2ust be sure to learn fromyour experience and the next time it will o better.

And remember, e%erone ma'es mista'es!8hatever you do, don)t o into a proCect or situation by predictin doom. $ou will neversucceed that way and in the process, you will endure the stress of tryin to considerevery /what if) and failure in the book.

Learn ho& to miti*ate stress 9y diffusin* it when it happens. 8hen your heartstarts to race and your palms et sweaty, take a two@minute time out and try some

deep, slow breathin. It will reduce your heart rate and brin your mind back intofocus.

"onsciously relax the muscles in your shoulders and neck, the muscles around your Caw and in your scalp. !nclench your hands and close your eyes. 2ust for a moment. You(ll be $lad ou too' the brea' and so #ill our bod!

Take care of yourself . %xercise three or four times a week. "ardio@vascular workoutslike aerobics, rapid walkin or runnin are reat to relieve stress and strenthen yourheart and luns.

on)t eat fast food. Try to eat a well@balanced diet and avoid stress responses likesmokin and drinkin. Take freHuent breaks. Remember you can still think throuhproblems and et thins accomplished while you take a Huick walk or o for a lass ofwater.

 You don(t ha%e to be at our des' to $et thin$s done!

Maintain su++ortive friendshi+s and relationshi+s and don)t let them die on the

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vine. It is this replenishment that will keep you oin. *et your own oals and don)t letothers force you into situations you don)t like.

$ou will always have some stress and frustration, but if you know yourself and if youbuild your reserves to meet these challenes, you will lead a much more balanced lifeand work stressors will not creep over into your personal life.

8hat if you)ve done all the riht thins and you still suffer the effects of stress9 8hat ifthat stress is not somethin you can easily chane9

Remember, #e said that ou could al#as chan$e our reaction to the stress"

3ut, sometimes, Cust knowin you have to calm down doesn)t help much.

8e mentioned exercise as a way to mitiate stress, but there are a lot of otherstructured approaches to mental and physical relaxation, from meditation and yoa to

biofeedback, and all of these are beneficial.

6ic' the one that #or's for ou"

0ere are a few ideas to et you startedJ

ee+ (reathin* G &earnin to breathe, deep into your abdomen and to slow yourbody down sounds easy, but it takes a bit of practice.

0owever, you can do it anywhere. On a bus, train or plane and once you)ve learned it

you will wonder how you ever ot alon without it.

3ecause the increased oxyenation of your blood brins more clarity to your brain,you will double the benefit by bein able to solve problems better, as well'

(iofeed9ack is a method of relaxation that helps you to control your responses to andchane how your body and mind react. $our brain /learns) how to adCust as you usemonitorin eHuipment to track your heart rate, muscle tension, blood pressure, andskin temperature.

Guided 6ma*ery uses affirmations and relaxin imaes to calm and focus your mindand body, and control your breathin so you are more relaxed.

It is easy to learn and the more you practice the better and faster your brain willresponse to the cues, puttin you into a state of relaxation more Huickly every time.

Meditation has become one of the most popular techniHues to achieve relaxation. It isnot tied to any reliious belief, and can be learned alone throuh self@study or inroups. +editation chanes your brain waves, and alters the response to stress in

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your mind, your emotions, and your body.

$ou can start and end your day with a brief meditation, and eventually, you may find itso helpful that you will employ this techniHue wherever you are, and whenever youfeel stress.

Focused Muscle /ela3ation teaches the student to tihten and relax roups ofmuscles in turn until the entire body is in a state of relaxation. It is easy to learn andcan be mastered Huickly and effectively with ood results.

'o*a i s an ancient form of exercise that is based on the connection between themuscles and orans in the body, breathin techniHues and the combined effects onthe mind. The oal of yoic practice is to restore balance to the body and youremotions throuh postures, stretchin and breathin exercises.

Other forms of exercise, like cardio@vascular workouts, runnin and walkin will

increase the release of certain /ood) chemicals in your brain, thereby relievin stress,frustration and aner and helpin you to sleep.

If you suffer from stress@related insomnia, you should consider tryin one or more ofthe solutions we)ve outlined here. It will help you et the sleep you need to functionwell, and to keep you healthy and balanced.

!lick "ere to discover what people are claiming to be 4The /ecret To 5irtually"ealing ll 2iseases.6

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/eein$ it 1resh and 1le5ible

 As with any plan, your plan for workElife balance must be kept fresh and flexible. 3esure you allow for continencies and uard aainst backslidin.

Old habits die8hard and ou ma find ourself in need of a refresher to sta ontrac'"

&ook at your plan often and keep talkin about it with your friends and family and co@workers. The more you reinforce its important to yourself and others, the less chanceyou will fall back into your old ways.

Remember that nothin ever oes Cust as planned, so be ready for the unexpectedand don)t let it et you down.

If your plan did not include a continency for a particular event, Cust sit down and lookover the plan aain and make room for some new ideas to address the problem youface.

.on(t be discoura$ed if ou hit a sna$"

?or a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But therewas always some obstacle in the way. /omething to be got through first, some

unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be "aid. Then life would begin. %tlast it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life”

~ r. %lfred 0'/ou3a ~

Remember that it will take awhile for the world to catch up to you and while manycompanies and people may not understand the need for balance, the fact that you do,may save your life and your relationships.

If those around you fail to reconiBe the importance of your efforts and scoff at yourtakin a lower payin Cob or choosin to stay home with a sick child, remain secure inthe knowlede that you are runnin a marathon, not a sprint and that in the end, youwill finish the race well'

$ou may be breakin new round. $ou may be a role model. And, that position is notalways easy. 4ioneers have hard work to do, but they AR% the first to see the beautyof the new horiBon.

*o, stick to your plan' $ou will et better at this as your old habits die. Remember toexercise self@discipline and have the courae of your convictions.

Remember to pay attention to the important thins and keep thins in perspective.

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on)t spin your wheels or expend too much enery on the thins you can)t chane orthe thins you don)t feel are important.

2ust because someone else tells you it is important, doesn)t mean you have to believethem.

eep the plan and the perspective fresh and if one thin doesn)t work, try another. It isyour commitment to the chane that is important.

 And if you find another way to et there, that is Cust fine'

It may not turn out exactly as you expected, but your focus on the oal of balance isthe important thin' 8ithout that focus, you can)t chane anythin'

on)t be afraid to et advice from others you trust if you et stuck on the path. $oudon)t have to do this alone.

Learn T!e "ecret To #reate Abundance $uickly And %asily & Like t!e '()ic!est *eople +o  !lick "ere To 7nlock This /ecret ow

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-ummar

?Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to wor& and to "lay and toloo& u" at the stars” ~ enry 2an 0y&e ~

8e)ve covered a lot of round in a very short period of time, and you may want toreview this information aain to make sure you)ve ot it all.

The concepts are simple, and althouh you may find yourself wonderin if all of themrelate to workElife balance, you will find answers as you implement the steps we)veoutlined here.

%ach of these steps is desined to address a different part of the problem.

0avin enouh time and focus to appreciate your life outside of work is one thin.

0avin the mental, emotional and physical stamina to do it all is another.

!nderstandin how to keep your life in balance, and what the factors involved in alon@term commitment, is also important.

If you can)t manae your time, you will never have enouh of it, no matter how fewhours you work in a week.

Takin a step back to look at how you ot to where you are and what issues you)ll

need to resolve to backtrack G that)s important too.

Think of this as a primer, of sorts. Of course, the particulars are yours to fiure out andyour specific issues are different than the issues your neihbor will face, but there aremany common factors.

 As we said at the beinnin of this discussion, you)ll need a plan. *o, let)s reviewsome of the key components.

$ou can adCust and tweak your plan alon the way, as you need to make chanes, but

ettin the plan in place is the first and most critical step.

● *it down with a pencil and paper and ather your thouhts and expectations.● Talk to your family, your boss, your co@workers and your friends and et their

thouhts.● Then set your oals'● +ake the plan and move forward.●  AdCust the plan alon the way if you need to do so and be realistic about what

you can accomplish and how lon it will take.

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● eep the lines of communication open and keep people informed about youroals and your proress and about what is important to you.

● &earn to manae your time better so you can leverae the free time you have touse it as you wish.

● *chedule and keep commitments with your family and friends.● 6ind ways to improve your productivity and learn to transition from work to home

and back aain so that you are truly /present) in every situation and not spinninyour wheels thinkin about other thins.

● on)t et distracted'● %xercise self@discipline and stay committed. 4ay attention and listen to others

and do it riht the first time so you don)t have to do it over aain'● &earn to handle and diffuse stress and eliminate it from your life wherever you

can.● 3e optimistic and positive.● !nderstand that workElife balance is key to your health and happiness and it can

actually make you more productive at work and ive you a better Huality of time

with your family and friends.

 And, so we come to the end of our Courney'

Now, it)s your turn to et the plan on paper.

 You can do this!Take control of your life and live it to the fullest.

eep your priorities straiht'

Remember! You don(t li%e to #or' : ou #or' to li%e!

?+ don't want to get to the end of my life and find that + lived 1ust the length of it. + wantto have lived the width of it as well” ~ 0iane %c&erman ~

Highly Recommended Programs:

1) How To Finally Get More Done In Less Time

2) How To Hae !nlimited "nergy