Art of WritingParagraph Organization

All ESSAYS contain 3 Basic Elements

Claims—the idea the writer is trying to prove—thesis—topic sentence

Data— the information in an essay/paragraph that proves the claimCommentary—the explanation of how the data (quote) proves the claim

Essays contain two types of CLAIMS

Thesis Statement—the “entire” idea that the writer is attempting to prove in his/her essayTopic Sentence—the aspect of the thesis statement the author is attempting to prove in this specific paragraphClaims are highlighted in yellow.

Paragraphs also contain DATA

Data is information that proves the claim of the paragraph and overall claim made in the thesis.Types of Data—Quotes Statistics Facts

ExamplesIn an analysis essay, the data will be a quote or example.Data is highlighted in blue.

Paragraphs also contain Commentary

Commentary is an explanation of how the data presented by the author prove the claim made in the thesis and topic sentence. The commentary is the most important and original part of the paragraph. The HOW is vitally important!

Commentary and Warrant are the same thing.Commentary should be highlighted in pink/orange.

Example 1: Highlight the claim, data, and commentary.

In Edgar Allen Poe’s “Cask of Amontillado”, the ending is foreshadowed both by Montresor’s malice and the obviously elaborate scheme that unfolds in the plot. Montresor reveals the malice he feels towards Fortunato when he says, “The thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as best I could, but when he ventured upon insult I vowed revenge” (5). Although we have no idea from the plot what injuries Montresor has experienced, we can tell by this passage that some insult has been exchanged and that Montresor means to repay Fortunato for it as well as “the thousand injuries” he has suffered. The foreboding sound of “vowed revenge” clearly suggests a deep malice. However, the use of the past tense in this opening also allows the malice to foreshadow the ending, since the use of the past tense would suggest that the ending has occurred in actual time before the narrator begins to tell his story. Taken together, Montresor’s opening expression of malicious intent phrased in the past tense and the obviously premeditated scheme that unfolds during the plot foreshadow Fortunato’s terrible death at the end of “Cask of Amontillado.”

Example 1: Highlight the claim, data, and commentary.

In Edgar Allen Poe’s “Cask of Amontillado”, the ending is foreshadowed both by Montresor’s malice and the obviously elaborate scheme that unfolds in the plot. Montresor reveals the malice he feels towards Fortunato when he says, “The thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as best I could, but when he ventured upon insult I vowed revenge” (5). Although we have no idea from the plot what injuries Montresor has experienced, we can tell by this passage that some insult has been exchanged and that Montresor means to repay Fortunato for it as well as “the thousand injuries” he has suffered. The foreboding sound of “vowed revenge” clearly suggests a deep malice. However, the use of the past tense in this opening also allows the malice to foreshadow the ending, since the use of the past tense would suggest that the ending has occurred in actual time before the narrator begins to tell his story. Taken together, Montresor’s opening expression of malicious intent phrased in the past tense and the obviously premeditated scheme that unfolds during the plot foreshadow Fortunato’s terrible death at the end of “Cask of Amontillado.”

Example 1: Highlight the claim, data, and commentary.

In Edgar Allen Poe’s “Cask of Amontillado”, the ending is foreshadowed both by Montresor’s malice and the obviously elaborate scheme that unfolds in the plot. Montresor reveals the malice he feels towards Fortunato when he says, “The thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as best I could, but when he ventured upon insult I vowed revenge” (5). Although we have no idea from the plot what injuries Montresor has experienced, we can tell by this passage that some insult has been exchanged and that Montresor means to repay Fortunato for it as well as “the thousand injuries” he has suffered. The foreboding sound of “vowed revenge” clearly suggests a deep malice. However, the use of the past tense in this opening also allows the malice to foreshadow the ending, since the use of the past tense would suggest that the ending has occurred in actual time before the narrator begins to tell his story. Taken together, Montresor’s opening expression of malicious intent phrased in the past tense and the obviously premeditated scheme that unfolds during the plot foreshadow Fortunato’s terrible death at the end of “Cask of Amontillado.”

Ex 2: Highlight claim, data, and commentary…

“Against the Great Divide” focuses on the division between the various races in a suburban St. Louis High School. Author Brian Jarvis states, “at my high school, the black students sit on one side of the commons while the Hispanic students sit in another area and the white students on another side” (14). This exclusivity within the various racial groups reveals a school with great tension and lack of cohesiveness…a concern in any modern, comprehensive high school. Because the various racial groups have little, if any, interaction with one another, each remains suspicious of the other groups and this division spills into the classrooms.

Ex 2: Highlight claim, data, and commentary…

“Against the Great Divide” focuses on the division between the various races in a suburban St. Louis High School. Author Brian Jarvis states, “at my high school, the black students sit on one side of the commons while the Hispanic students sit in another area and the white students on another side” (14). This exclusivity within the various racial groups reveals a school with great tension and lack of cohesiveness…a concern in any modern, comprehensive high school. Because the various racial groups have little, if any, interaction with one another, each remains suspicious of the other groups and this division spills into the classrooms.

Ex 2: Highlight claim, data, and commentary…

“Against the Great Divide” focuses on the division between the various races in a suburban St. Louis High School. Author Brian Jarvis states, “at my high school, the black students sit on one side of the commons while the Hispanic students sit in another area and the white students on another side” (14). This exclusivity within the various racial groups reveals a school with great tension and lack of cohesiveness…a concern in any modern, comprehensive high school. Because the various racial groups have little, if any, interaction with one another, each remains suspicious of the other groups and this division spills into the classrooms.

Ex 2: Highlight claim, data, and commentary…

“Against the Great Divide” focuses on the division between the various races in a suburban St. Louis High School. Author Brian Jarvis states, “at my high school, the black students sit on one side of the commons while the Hispanic students sit in another area and the white students on another side” (14). This exclusivity within the various racial groups reveals a school with great tension and lack of cohesiveness…a concern in any modern, comprehensive high school. Because the various racial groups have little, if any, interaction with one another, each remains suspicious of the other groups and this division spills into the classrooms.

Example 3: HighlightThe author’s use of diction helps to exaggerate girl’s ascent of the great pine tree. After taking in the view from the tree, the girl believed “truly it was a vast and awesome world” (line 5). This phrase amplifies the young heroine’s adventure because her view from atop the pine tree is as if she is on top of the world.

Real Organization of a Paragraph

Topic Sentence Data Commentary

Data Commentary

Data

Commentary

Example:Throughout her speech at Tilbury, Queen Elizabeth I uses emotional appeal to motivate her troops fight in what might be their final battle defending their homeland. As Queen Elizabeth begins her oration, she addresses her soldiers as “My loving people” (line 1). By using familiar diction, the 16th century sovereign expresses the mutual affection and bond queen and soldiers feel for each other. Also, by using the first person pronoun “my”, the speaker reminds her troops of their duty as men to both their queen and country. As she continues her speech, Queen Elizabeth the First uses such emotionally charged terms as “distrust”, “tyrant”, and “fear” (lines ). The use of such words calls to mind images of cruelty and uncertainty all too familiar to the people of 16th century England. By briefly alluding to recent events that occurred under a Catholic (and Spanish-married) ruler, Queen Elizabeth plays on her soldiers’ fears in an effort to motivate them to protect their families, Queen, and country against death/conquest.

Queen Elizabeth Essay Organization

I. Intro II. Appeal #1III. Appeal #2 IV. Appeal #3 V. Conclusion

Thesis statement dictates what will be in the body of your essay.

Sample Precis and Thesis

In a 1588 speech addressing a gathering of mobilized troops, Queen Elizabeth I of England delivers a rousing “call to action” in an attempt to rally the British soldiers as they await an impending Spanish invasion on the shores of Tilbury. During her oration, Queen Elizabeth Tudor uses logical appeal, ethical appeal, and emotional appeal as means of inspiring the British force to sacrifice themselves in one final attempt to thwart a Spanish conquest of England.

Thesis: During her oration, Queen Elizabeth Tudor uses

logical appeal, ethical appeal, and emotional appeal as means of inspiring the British force to sacrifice themselves in one final attempt to thwart

a Spanish conquest of England. I. Intro

II. Logical Appeal

III. Ethical Appeal

IV. Emotional Appeal

V. Closing

Homework: Grade all of the sample student essays. I will give you the scores for the first 5 essays. However, you should highlight claims, data, and commentary for all the student essays you have.

Student Essay Grades.Sample 1=9Sample 2=1Sample 3=4Sample 4=7Sample 5=9