mediation skills for managers

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Mediation Skills for Managers

Claudette Rowley

May 23, 2012

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Advising nonprofits in:

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P R E S E N T E D B Y C L A U D E T T E R O W L E Y

F O R N O N P R O F I T W E B I N A R S

M A Y 2 3 , 2 0 1 2

1 - 2 P M E T

Mediation Skills for Managers

Key Take Aways

Learn the premise and principles of mediation, and their application in the workplace.

Understand the basic skills mediators use to resolve conflict.

Recognize how you can use these skills to manage conflict between employees or on teams.

Definition of Mediation

Mediation is often described as “assisted negotiation”.

In this process,

a neutral third party works with the people in conflict

to identify their interests and goals

and to develop options for creative, win-win solutions based on what’s important to them.

Five Principles of Mediation

1. Confidentiality

2. Impartiality

3. Informed consent

4. Self-determination

5. Voluntary

Confidentiality

A mediator makes a commitment to the parties and to the profession to keep the identities of the parties and the content of their discussions private.

Impartiality (or Neutrality)

A mediator will strive to conduct a process that is viewed as fair by all parties. A mediator will also work to treat all parties equally and without bias.

Impartiality is also referred to as neutrality.

Informed Consent

Mediators will work to make sure parties are informed about the mediation process before they begin and have access to information and advice before giving their consent to any final agreement.

Self-Determination

In mediation, it is the parties, and not the mediator, who determines the outcome of their dispute. This “ownership of the outcome” has a direct effect on the high compliance rate of mediated agreements.

Voluntary

Each party needs to make an affirmative commitment to participate in mediation in good faith. This commitment does not prevent either side from withdrawing from the process for any reason once the process begins.

If You’re Not a Mediator, Why Do These Principles Matter?

Confidentiality – if people know they are speaking in confidence, they feel freer to be open and honest about their thoughts and feelings.

Informed Consent – In a business or personal setting, make sure that the people in conflict understand the process of resolving the conflict. If certain procedures or policies are going to be followed, make sure people understand the impact.

If You’re Not a Mediator, Why Do These Principles Matter?

Self-determination – when people in conflict determine the resolution of their conflict, they are more likely to stick with their plan and see it through to fruition.

Voluntary – If people decide it’s in their best interest to try to resolve a conflict, they are more likely to invest in the process and put their best problem -solving into it.

What’s It Like to Be Neutral?

To maintain neutrality, what are you doing?

Treating people without bias

Really listening

Remaining non-judgmental

Conducting a process that’s fair

What’s It Like to Be Neutral?

What are you not doing?

Not judging

Not taking sides

Not sharing opinions

Not pushing for decision or closure

Self-Management

Watch and understand your emotional triggers

Compartmentalize

Be aware of assumptions or judgments

Foundational Mediation Skills

Separate people from problem (from Getting to Yes by Fisher & Ury)

Active listening

Ask open-ended questions

Reflect back what you hear

Listen for interests

Listen for options

Identify measurable standards

Skill: Separate People from the Problem

View people as separate from their conflicts. It’s easier to be neutral and fair.

(From the book Getting to Yes by Fisher & Ury)

Skill: Active Listening

Focus on other person.

Show you’re listening through body language and eye contact.

Take notes if appropriate (tell people how notes will be used and who will see them).

Listening for what’s important, identify needs and priorities.

Skill: Open-ended Questions

Ask questions beginning with “What”, “How” and “Why”

Examples:

What do you need?

What do you want?

How can you move forward?

How can you resolve this?

Why is this important to you?

Skill: Reflect back what you hear

Once you’ve listened and asked open-ended questions, it’s important to reflect back what you’ve heard.

Examples: You can reflect back their needs and interests , the emotional impact of the situation, or solutions they’ve initially identified.

The purpose: To make sure the speaker feels heard and acknowledged.

The Listening Triangle

Is a form of “interactive listening”.

1. Ask an open-ended question

2. Listen

3. Reflect back (through paraphrasing or reframing)

(The Listening Triangle was developed by Moshe Cohen of The Negotiating Table)

Skill: Listen for Interests

Interests are needs or desires that are critically important to someone.

People are not always fully aware of what they want or what is most important to them.

Interests can be concrete: money, a job or a piece of furniture (for example)

Interests can be emotional: the desire for fairness, an apology, respect, appreciation, dignity, to be heard/understood, to know why something happened.

Skill: Listen for Options

Options are possible solutions to the conflict.

As people feel heard, they often begin to identify solutions.

Help people broaden their options; people will often settle for what’s in front of them.

Listen and reflect back options you’re hearing.

Ask open-ended questions to draw out more options (if needed).

Skill: Identify Measurable Standards

This means identifying and agreeing upon external standards against which to measure a resolution.

Why do this? Because it’s easier to focus on fairness versus getting locked in a battle of wills.

Examples include: industry standards, company policies, law, precedents, expert opinions, monetary value, etc.

Managing Conflict Between Employees or on Teams

1. Facilitated dialogue

2. Helping others prepare

3. Active listening and reflecting

4. If you get stuck …

5. Stay neutral

6. Document the resolution

Facilitated Dialogue

Is the process of facilitating a conversation between two or more people.

You (or someone else) serves as a facilitator who manages the process and uses the skills we’ve discussed.

Your job is to remain neutral and unbiased.

This method is about creating a safer, structured space for the conversation, and to help people communicate interests, identify and reach a solution.

Helping People Prepare

Walk people through a reflection process in preparation for having a challenging conversation.

1. Understand and discharge emotions.

2. Assess assumptions.

3. Put self in other’s shoes.

4. Be clear about own interests.

Active Listening and Reflecting

Is a useful skill in almost all conversations. It helps identify what’s important to all participants.

Find places of agreement and name them.

Understand where the disagreements are and name them.

If You Get Stuck…

Ask an open-ended question.

Examples:

What do you need?

What would help you resolve this?

What are your ideas?

What would it take for this relationship to be repaired?

Stay Neutral

When helping to resolve a conflict between employees.

By remaining neutral and objective, you put the onus on others to take responsibility for resolving their conflict.

Document the Solution

Essential elements:

We have agreed to X.

X will be completed by this date.

If X is not completed by this date, the contingency plan is Y.

Have the conversation: “What will happen if you don’t implement this solution?”

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