intimacy is the gateway to living a fulfilled life. this …...intimacy is the gateway to living a...

Intimacy is the gateway to living a fulfilled life. This practice guide will take you from “theory to experience”.

Being aware is half the battle, the next is to apply it to your life.

This guide will give you actionable steps that will be your experience to dance you through real intimacy.

Fear that people will hurt me? Fear of being disappointed?

Fear of being exposed? Fear that I will be a disappointment?

Fear that past hurts will reoccur in the future, just with different faces?

People will think you’re a fraud? That you’re really not lovable?

There’s nothing redeeming about you?

You don’t matter?

THESE ARE THE LIES THAT KEEP US FROM LOVE & INTIMACY

What are your walls? Busyness?

Appearance?

Not being honest with others & yourself?

Having minimal communication with others?

Isolation? Avoidance?

Disappointment?

Frustration?

Fear?

Now that you know your walls stop you from experiencing intimacy, Will you begin to let go of those walls for the sake of experiencing

true intimacy? Which will be the first wall that you will surrender?

What walls are you choosing to climb and knock over? Deflection? Isolation?

Pride?

Busyness?

What has disconnected you from intimate moments in the past? Fear of being embarrassed?

Thinking the person may or could hurt you?

Fear of rejection?

Telling yourself not to take the risk?

A statistic shows that Americans consume 4-5 hours of television a day.

Which means we’re spending our lives with a box that doesn’t communicate directly with us.

Will you cut back on tv time and reach out to communicate with a friend once a week?

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/01/business/media/nielsen-survey-media-viewing.html?_r=0

What are some societal rules you’ve been applying to your life that you don’t necessarily agree with?

Many times when I’ve encountered true intimacy, were in the moments when I chose to say “screw you” to the rules and allowed

myself to take a risk. Is there a risk you need to take?

Let’s be honest, social media has become important in most of our lives.

Do you find yourself able to connect with others on social media but not in real life?

Is how people view you on social media more important than how they get to experience you in real life?

Aha this is one we’re all guilty of! Me too.

Many times when I’ve disconnected from others & opted to play or be on my phone, the majority of the times I didn’t want to be in the

situation that I chose to be in. Why do you allow yourself to get lost in your phone?

Many times fear pops up and says awful things can happen to us if we let people in. If we let them see us.

“They could reject you.” “They could hurt or take advantage of you with the information you

give them.” The truth is vulnerability & intimacy will always be the risk worth

taking!

Being known is a core essential need we all have. Who are the people who know you the most?

List the top 3.

Ask yourself, how often do I allow people to really get to know me?

Do you find yourself more likely to protect yourself from connecting with those around you, instead of actually engaging in connection?

If so, does this block you from the intimacy and connection you desire?

Let’s get accountable & honest.

Who are the people in your life that you are shutting out, but you know they could be helpful to you?

List their names & why you’ve shut them out?

The challenge with focusing on protecting ourselves is that our attempts often fail us and we end up blocking the love we deeply

want to experience. Acknowledge that in order to experience real intimacy, the

challenge will not be who you keep yourself from, but who you will allow yourself to “be” with.

When your defense mechanisms scream “DO NOT CONNECT”,

Remind yourself that without human connection, you are living a life devoid of intimacy.

Shame tells us that it will protect our secret. I want you to place your hand on your heart and say

“Shame our partnership is coming to an end.

You have blocked me from experiencing true intimacy.

I am ready to move forward WITHOUT you.”

We all want connection, what does connection look like for you? Who are the people you enjoy connecting with?

Are you connecting with them often?

If not, why not?

Make an effort to connect with them in the next 3 days.

When was the last time you were able to get personal with someone?

How often do you get personal with the people in your life? What typically holds you back from getting personal with people?

What does getting personal, look like to you?

Remember my story about sharing past personal experiences with my friend in the laundry room when I was around 17-18?

Talking creates opportunity for you to get healed so that YOU CAN EXPERIENCE INTIMACY.

It’s an invitation.

Name 1 person you will open up & talk to this week?

Think on how much time you’ve wasted by avoiding intimacy? Are there opportunities you’ve walked away from because you

were too afraid of getting hurt? Are there people you’ve missed out on because of fear or shame?

Tell yourself you are NOW willing to start taking risks & embracing intimacy.

Safety is CRUCIAL when you’re walking out intimacy with someone.

List 5 people that you feel safe with? Things to ask yourself..

“Can I share my struggles, victories, self doubt and what I’m hopeful about with them?”

Opening yourself to intimacy is retraining. *Talk from your heart

*Don’t hold back

*Consistently connect with the safe people around you

*Continue to ask yourself the “real” questions you’ve been avoiding

Cultivating an ability to connect with others will require the following:

Accepting you need other people. Knowing that you are meant to be loved.

Taking risks and allowing others to care for you. Engaging in vulnerability & taking risks.

What are some next actionable steps? Who do you need to forgive?

Who do you need to call?

Have you come to terms with your parents & childhood? (I assure you this can be a life journey in itself.)

Every invitation of intimacy will ALWAYS require you to take a chance.

List 3 ways you will be willing to take a chance and allow yourself to experience intimacy with someone in your life.

Now that we’re on the same page, let’s commit to this: You will begin to let people in.

You will start telling your walls to be silent.

Victory and intimacy go hand in hand, it’s time that you be Victorious with INTIMACY!

It’s time for you to get in alignment with the truth! Repeat the following:

I AM MEANT FOR INTIMACY

INTIMACY IS SAFE FOR ME

I WAS MADE TO BE LOVED

Loving yourself means: -Taking the time to do the things that matter to you. -Saying no to things that don’t resonate with you.

-Feeding your heart by surrounding yourself with people who support and believe in you.

…..Just to name a few.

Intimacy will not force itself on you. It is only given and received by invitation.

What invitations will you give? What invitations will you receive?