all write - fiction advice_ april 2013

2/23/2015 AllWriteFictionAdvice:April2013

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SA T URDA Y , 2 7 A PR I L 2 0 1 3

TeasingtheReaderPart2

Continuingthethemeofteasingthereader,welllookatacouplemoreofthoseelementswhichareatawritersdisposal.Thelasttwocommonessentialstolookatareforeshadowinganddialogue.

Foreshadowingisareallyeffectivetoolifusedcorrectly.Whileitisverysimilartotheinformationandrevelationhintsthatwevealreadytouchedupon,therearesubtledifferencesbetweenthetwoandtheyshouldbetreatedseparately.

Theactofforeshadowingisadeliberatepaththatthewritertakesinordertofulfillanintegralpartoftheplot.Itforeseeseventsthatwillhappen,ratherthanwhatmighthappen,whichswhatinformationhintsmightdo.Foreshadowingisusuallyinterpretedassomethingforebodingyettohappenwithinthestory.

Cleverforeshadowingisachievedbyusingmetaphorratherthantheobviousinfodumporbythiswillhappeninchapter30kindofthing.

Foreshowingcanberepresentedbyanything,aslongasthemetaphorworkswithinthenarrativeandisgenerallyunderstoodbyyourreader.Metaphorscanbespoiltbyovercomplication,sosimplicityworks.

Theexamplebelowusesaphysicalmetaphortoforeshadowanincidentthatwilltakeplacelaterinastory.

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Johnlookedupandnoticedtherollingcloudsinthedistance,heavingwithastrangekindofdread.Theybillowedforward,asthoughtosmother.Lightflashedthroughitsunderbellyastormofadifferentkindwasapproaching,onethathecouldntavoidorprevent.

Youcanseehowthemetaphoractsasasignposttothefutureevent:

Heavingwithastrangekindofdreadthissetsthetoneofthefutureevent.

Theybillowedforward,asthoughtosmotherthiscouldhintatthemanneroflikelyevents.

AstormofadifferentkindthisclearlytellsthereaderthatthingswillnotgowellforJohn.Somethingbadwillhappen.Thereaderwillhavetocontinuereadingtofindoutwhatthatitis.

Dialogue,ontheotherhand,isalsoaperfectwaytohintatthings.Characterslovetotalkaboutstufftheycanthelpthemselves,justaspeopledoinreallife.Andjustaspeoplegossipinreallifeawayofteasinginformationfromeachothercharacterswilloffercluesonfutureevents.

Youcanlurethereaderbyhavingyourcharactersdiscussthingsthatmightoccurfurtherintoastory.Thefollowingsimpleexampleusesdialoguebetweentwocharacterstoplantinformationhintsforthereadersothattheywillbecomeawareofeventsthatwilloccurfurtherintothestory.

Areyouclearonwhatyouneedtodo?Johnasked.

Danlookedathim.Yeah.Howlongagainbeforethesecuritygoesdown?

Eightminutes,Johnreplied.Thatsallwegot.Soyouneedtomakesureyoureinplacewhenitdoes,gotit?NoonewillhearanythingabovetheNewYearcelebrations.

Notaproblem.

Good,cosweonlygotthreemonthstoplanthisthing

Itisclearfromthedialoguebetweenthecharactersthatsomethingisintheoffing,andbecausetheyarediscussingit,theyarealsoallowingthereadertobe

measure.Iamprivilegedtohaveeightshortstories/poemspublishedinthisbook,soifyoulikeyourdamesalittledarkanddangerous,thisisthebookforyou.

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privytoit.Thereaderisanobserverinanystory.

Dialogueisntjusttheretoshowcharactersspeaking,either.Itservesmanypurposes,suchasmovingthestoryforwardorintroducingvitalinformation.And,ofcourse,teasingthereaderisjustoneofthewaysdialogueisimportant.

Howeveryoudoit,whatevermethodyouchoose,awritershoulddangleasmanycarrotsaspossiblewhenevertheopportunityarises.Theunforeseenwithinastoryisagreatluretothereader.

Curiosityservesagreatpurposeitishumannaturetowanttoknowaboutsomething.Thisneedtoknowbasisiswhatpropelsourinterestinanystory,andthewritersabilitytocontinuallyteasewill,hopefully,keepyourreaderhooked.

Nextweek:Waystoavoidwoodencharacters

POSTEDBYAJ HUMPAGEATSATURDAY, APRIL 27, 2013NOCOMMENTS: L INKSTOTHISPOST

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SA T URDA Y , 2 0 A PR I L 2 0 1 3


Thegreatthingaboutwritingisthatishasavarietyoftoolsavailabletothewriterinordertorenderthebeststorypossible.

Weknowabouttherightkindofcharacterisation,therightbalanceofbasicelementssuchasdescription,narrativeanddialogue,theamountofemotionandpacetouse.Weknowaboutplotsandsubplots,atmosphereandtension,andwereawareofmorecomplicatedelementssuchassymbolism,metaphorandassonanceandsoon.

Buttheonethingthatreadersseemtothriveonisthewritersabilitytoteasethisisoneofthereasonswhytheykeepturningthepage.Readingastoryisbasedonaneedtoknowbasisthereaderconstantlyneedstoknow.

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Thedeliberateteasehasbeenusedbystorytellersforthousandsofyears.Itisdesignedtolurethereader,tokeepthemguessing,wrongfootthemdeliberately,oritallowsthemtomakecorrectorincorrectassumptions.

Theopportunitytoteasecanoccurthroughoutanovelandthereforeshouldntbeignoredbywriters,becausebyconstantlyandsubtlyteasingthemyoucanalsokeepthemreading.

Sometimestheseopportunitiesoccurnaturallyasthestoryprogresses,whileotherteasersarepreciselyplottedandplannedbywritersandthenstrategicallyplacedwithinthenarrative.

Thehookistheveryfirstchanceawriterhastograbthereadersattentionrightattheopeningofthestorysomethingthatholdstheirattentionandkeepsitsothattheykeepreading.Thiscanbeachievedbyhintingatthingstocomeinthefirstchapter,tolaycluesaboutwhatmighthappenintherestofthenovel.

Youreteasingthereaderfromtheoutset.

Howdoesteasingwork?

Thereisavarietyofwaysawritercanteasethereader.Themostcommonwaysareasfollows:

1.Informationhints2.Revelationhints3.Endofsceneorchaptercliffhanger4.Narrativeallusionandsuggestion5.Foreshadowing6.Dialogue

Informationhintsareselfexplanatory.Theideaisthatthewriterplantscluesforthereadertopickupon,solaterinthestorytheywill,literally,puttwoandtwotogetherandcometotheirownconclusion(whetherthey'rerightornot).

Thehintsdonthavetobeobvioustheycanbeassubtleasyouwantthemtobedontunderestimateyourreaderbecausetheywillbeastuteenoughtonoticethem.Andtheinformationyouarehintingatisandshouldberelevanttothestory/plotsomethingthatmightbereferencedtohappenfurtherinthenovel,ortheinformationisrelevanttosomethingthatmighthappenspecificallytoacharacteretc.

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Forinstance,yourmaincharacterisafraidofwater,soyoumightreferencethisacoupleoftimesearlierinthestoryaninformationhintthatthereaderwillnotice.Theywillthinkthatbecauseithasbeenmentionedafewtimes,somethingmusthappenfurtherintothestory.Thisisanindirect,gentletease.

Then,laterinthestory,severalcharactersareboatingonalake,butanaccidentoccursandthemaincharactermustjumpintoalaketosaveanothercharacter.Butsheisfrozenbytheirrationalfearofwaterthesamefearshintedatearlier.Canshejumpinandsavetheday?

Revelationhintsworkthesameway,butinsteadoflettingthereaderinonsnippetsofinformation,thewriterlayscluestoasurprisingrevelationorimportantdisclosurefurtherinthestoryaplottwistperhaps,whichmightwrongfootthereader.

Forexample,whatifyourmaincharacterbecomesattractedtoanothercharacterinthestoryitlooksasthoughhemightbefallingforher,andtheirrelationshiphotsup.Thissubplotwillteasethereaderaboutwhathappensnextwiththem.

Then,whenthereaderleastexpectsit,thewriterunveilsthebombshell:ittranspiresthatsheisoneofthebadguys,andtheherofindsthathehasbeentrappedbyherdeceitandfacesimminentdanger

Inotherwords,revelationsandplotleaksactasalureforthereadertocontinuereading.

Anendofsceneorchaptercliffhangerisoneoftheoldestploysforwriterstouse.Whenwrittencorrectly,itpracticallyguaranteesthereaderwillkeepreading.

Theideaissimpletheendofascene,andparticularlytheendofchaptersshouldhintatsomethingabouttohappen,orsomethinginevitableinthenextsceneorchapter,sothatthereaderhastoreadoninordertofindoutwhathappens.

Forinstance,inthefirstexampleofthecharacterafraidofwater,thewriteristeasingthereaderwithawhatifsituation.Whatifthecharacterdoesntjumpintothewater?Theothercharacterwilldrown.Butifshedidjump,shecouldsavetheothercharacter,andovercomeherfearofwater.

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Theendofthatscene,orchapter,wouldendonacliffhanger.Forexample:

Chriswatchedthelittlegirlstrugglinginthewater,headbarelyabletokeepabovethesurface,curdledcriesskimmingacrossthewater.

Adrenalineragedthroughherbodyheartbeatloudinherears.Legsspasmedwiththefearasthereflectionsdancedfromthewaterssurface,butallChriscouldthinkaboutwasthecolddarknessbeneath,theshadowsthatlurkedthere.

Shetookinabreath,madeadecision.

Thereaderisleftguessingwhatthatdecisionis.Theyhavetocontinuethestoryinordertofindout,sotheyhave.Ineffect,theyhavebeenteasedbythewriter.

Writersshouldaimtodothiswithmostoftheirchapterendings.Alwayskeepthereaderontheirtoes.

Narrativeallusionorsuggestionisaploywritersuseinordertotoywiththereader.Theydothisbyalludingtosomethingorplantingideastoswaythereadersmind,whichisdonethroughsubtlesuggestion.Theideaisthatthereaderwillreadanddigestthis,andtheywillunconsciouslyrememberit,untilatsuchtimeinthenovelthattheydiscovertheyvebeendupedbythewriter.

Ofcourse,knowthesebyanothername:redherrings.Theseareparticularlyprevalentincrimenovelsandthrillersandtheyworktogreateffect.

Theyaremoredifficulttoconstructbecauseoftheircomplexityinrelationtothestory,charactersandsubplots,andthereforetheyneedalotofthoughtandplanninginordertoinitiatethemandmakethemwork.

Theeasiestexampleofthisisthewritersdoublecross.Inacrimenovel,forinstance,thewritersetsupthecharactersandthestorylineinsuchawayastomakethereaderbelievethatoneparticularcharacteristhekiller.Thewriterplantsclues,alludestothecharactersguilt,evengoingasfarasusingthepowerofsuggestiontocementtheideainthereadersmind.

Thewriterdanglesacarrottoteasethereaderinthisway,untilsuchatimeasitsrevealedinaplottwistthatitwasinfactanothercharacterwhodidthecrimeand

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nottheonethereaderassumed.

Thereaderhasbeendoublecrossedbythewriterthroughawellwrittenandwellconstructedtease.

Ofcourse,thesenarrativeallusionsarenotconfinedtocrimeorthrillernovels.Incontext,theycanbeusedinmanygenrestoillicitthesameeffect.

Inthenextarticlewellcontinuethethemebylookingathowforeshadowinganddialoguecanteasethereader.

Nextweek:TeasingthereaderPart2

POSTEDBYAJ HUMPAGEATSATURDAY, APRIL 20, 2013NOCOMMENTS: L INKSTOTHISPOST


SA T URDA Y , 1 3 A PR I L 2 0 1 3

BreathingLifeintoDescription

Descriptionisdescription,right?

Thatdependsonawritersperspectiveandhowmuchthewriterwantstoinvestinit.

Previousarticleshavelookedathowimportantdescriptionisinanystory,andwhyitsneeded,butwhatseparatesordinarydescriptionfromthekindthatleapsfromthepageandgetswritersnoticedbyeditorsandagents?

Theanswertothatdependshowawriterbreatheslifeintodescription.Withoutdoubt,descriptionisoneofthemostimportantaspectsrequiredinfictionwriting,andhowawriterhandlesitmakesallthedifferencetohowgoodthatdescriptionis.

Thethingwithdescriptionisthatsometimesitcanbeflatanuninspiring,notbecausesomethingisparticularlybadlywritten,butbecauseinsteadtheauthorhasntreallybotheredwithit.Thiscanmakereadingalaboriousaffair.

Andifitisboringandunexciting,thenthisisindicative

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oftellingratherthanshowing,whichisoneofthemostcommonattributestodreary,lacklustredescription.Intruth,weveallbeenguiltyofwritingflatdescriptionatsomepointoranother.

Aswegrowinconfidencewithourwriting,however,sotooshouldourabilitytovisualisethestoryforthereaderinacompletelyunique,expressiveandexcitingway.

Everywriterhasadistinctivewritingvoicethereforeeachwriterwillconveydescriptionquitedifferently,butitishowvisualandrichthatdescriptionisthatcouldnotonlyhelpawriterschancesofpublication,butalsohelptotransportthereaderrightintotheheartofthestory.

TellingversusShowing

Oneofthemainproblemswithdescriptionisthewaywritersdealwithexposition.Moreoftenthannottheytellratherthanshowthereader.Thisisfineforthelessimportantscenes,butwithkeyscenesthedramatic,emotionalandactiontypescenes,itsvitaltoshowthereader,toallowthemtosharethestoryandtheemotionsandreactionsratherthanjustreadaboutit.Descriptionforthesekeyscenesshouldbeanimatedenoughtostimulatethereader,ratherthanborethem.

Therearesomewriterswhostilldontunderstandtheconceptofshow,donttellandcontinuetowriteunexciting,simplisticdescription.Thatsfineiftheywanttowritethemundane.Butforwriterswhowanttosetthebarhigher,showingthereaderthroughevocative,visualdescriptionreapsitsownrewards.

Howisitdone?

Thereareseveralelementstothis.Thewriterneedstobeawareofandunderstandtheseelementscloselytocreatethekindofdescriptionthatbringsastorytolifethekindthatliftsitfromthepageandtransportsthereaderintothefictionalworld.

Description,andhowwritersconveyit,isaveryuniquethingwealldoitdifferently,butthatdoesntmeantheimportantelementsthatmakeupgooddescription



shouldbeignored.

Thinkofitthiswayyourreadercannotsee,taste,touch,smellorhearanything.Asthewriter,youhavetodescribethingssothattheycansee,taste,touch,smellandheareverythinghappeninginyourstory.

Youneedtobeawareof:

SensorydetailsVisualdetailsEmotionaldetails

Sensorydetailsarewoefullyignoredbymanywriters,buttheycanplayamajorpartindescription.Thefivesensesofferadistinctiveinsightforthereader.Theymaynotbeabletophysicallysmellsomething,oractuallysee,touchortasteorhearanything,butbygivingthemrichlylayeredhints,theywillusetheirimaginationquiteeffectively.

Awritercanmakethereaderimaginethesmellsandthetastes,theywillvisualisedetails,theywillfeelthetouchofthebreeze,orahandontheskin,orthetextureofsomething,andtheywillhearthesoundsdescribed.

Forexample,thefollowingexcerptsaretakenfrommyshortstoryAStainontheHeart(2012,anthologyOneHour,publishedbyStaticMovement).

Abreezeprowledacrossthemuddyforest,lefttaintedbyamiserable,dolefuldownpour,andnowitsmelledstagnantbeneaththelingeringscentofburntwoodandflesh.

Prowled,miserable,doleful,stagnantandburntumberarethekeywordshere.Theyarekeywordsforagoodreason.Imaginethesentencewithoutthem.

Visualdetail,whileverysimilartothesenses,coversthewaythereaderperceivesthedescriptionofsettingandplaceandobjects,andhowthewriterhasvisualisedthenecessarydetailstomakethestorybelievable,forinstance:

AsasliverofdawnlightinkedacrosstheskyandreflectedfromthesnowcappedforestoftheArdennes,



thedevastationslowlyemergedandsoakedFreddiesmindwithsoundsandimageshewouldratherforget.Thedulllightgrazedacrossthescene.Hesawupturnedmoundsofearth,fallentreesanddarkscarscarvedthroughsulliedsnow.Butitwasthefrosty,soullesslandscapelitteredwithhelmetsandboots,fragmentsofuniformsandbitsofmenthatmadehisstomachdroptohisfeet.

Oneotherthingthatdescriptiondoeswhichisquiteimportantistorelayemotion.Emotionandtheabilitytomoveyourreader,isadrivingforcewithinfiction.ThefollowingexcerptisfromVoices(2012anthology,LastNight,publishedbyStaticMovement).Thefirstexampleistellingthereader.

Whathadbeguntowardstheeveninghadcontinuedasthesunlightsankbehindthetrees,leavingsunlightgleamingbetweenthebranches,whichseemedlostwithintheconfinesofthecamp,andjustaslostontheconfusedandhungrypeoplethatfiledfromthecattletrains.

Hethoughtaboutthebodiesfromtheshowers,livesstolen,theireyeslifelessandhandsfrozen.

Thisisfairlyflatanduninspiring.Itdoesntsaymuchtothereaderanditcertainlydoesntdoanythingotherthantellthereader.Anditcertainlydoesntshowanything.Nowtheoriginalexcerpt,whichshowsthereader:

Whathadbeguninearnesttowardstheeveninghadcontinuedasthesunlightsankbehindthethicklineofpinesthatveiledthem,leavingbeautifulsaffrontintedrivuletsgleamingbetweenthebranches.Suchbeautyseemedlostwithinthecold,barrenconfinesofthecamp,andjustaslostonthedeathlygreyfacesthatfiledfromthecattletrainsconfused,hungryandriddledwithexhaustion.

Hethoughtaboutthefreshmoundsoffleshdraggedfromtheshowers,livesstolen,theireyeslifelessandyetbrimmingwithrivenreflectionsoftheirlastterriblemoments,theirhandsfrozenintognarledclaws.

Thisshowsratherthantells.Itusesvisualandsensorystimulus,itreferencescolourasametaphor,itstands



outanditmakesthereaderthinkbecauseitfocusesontheemotionalimpact.Itcontainsmanyoftheelementsneededtomakedescriptioncomealive.

Descriptionisdescription,butitsnothingunlessawriterbreatheslifeintoit.

Nextweek:Howtoteasethereader.POSTEDBYAJ HUMPAGEATSATURDAY, APRIL 13, 20133COMMENTS: L INKSTOTHISPOST


SUNDA Y , 7 A PR I L 2 0 1 3

ConstructingScenesPart2

Continuingourlookathowtoconstructkeyscenes,welltakealookatTransitionalscenesandFlashbackscenes,whicharequitecommoninfictionandveryusefulelementsforthewriter.

Writersusetransitionalscenestocrossaspecifictimespan,i.e.hours,days,monthsorevenyears,withouttheneedtodescribeeverythingindetail.Usuallytheyarenothingmorethanafewsentences,buttheytellthereaderthattimehaspassed,withoutthewriterhavingtoborethereaderbydescribingthedetailsofthetimespanwithlongwindedpassages.

Example:

Fourweekslater,Johndrovethecartothehighstreetandparkedupnearthebank,justasDanhadinstructed.Hewaited.

ItsaysconciselywhatthereaderneedstoknowfourweekshavepassedsinceDansconversationwithJohn(inPart1)andthenarrativehasmovedforwardtothedayoftherobbery.Twosentencescoverwhatmighthavetakenthewriterapageortwopagestodescribe.

Wellwrittentransitionalscenesshouldbeseamlessandunobtrusivesothatthereaderwillbarelynotice.




Theyaredesignedtomoveforward(orbackward)withoutdisruptingtheflowofnarrative.

Flashbackscenes,asopposedtotransitionalscenes,areselfexplanatory.Theyjumpbacktoamomentinthecharacterspastinorderforthewritertoexplainthingsthatarehappeninginthepresent.

Theyformanintegralpartofanynovel,andalthoughnotacompulsoryrequirement,theyaredesiredifthewriterneedstoexplainspecificincidentsthathappenedtothemaincharacterinthepastthatmayaffecttheirbehaviourasthestoryunfoldsinthepresent.

Flashbacksalsohelppropelthestoryforward,despitetheparadoxofleapingbackward.

Example:

Heremembereditclearly,thememorystillfreshlikeanopenwound.Theoriginalfeelingsofeuphoriaandarrogancehadquicklyturnedtoangstthemomentthefaroffsoundofsirensbrokethroughthenight.Liketheothers,hedthoughthedgotawaywithit.Theyhadsplitthemoneyandgonetheirseparateways,thinkingthatwouldfoolthepolice,butithadnt,andpanicsetinatthethoughtofbeingcaught

Thesceneslipsunobtrusivelyintothepast,andusespluperfecttensetoshowthereaderthatithappenedinthepast,ratherthanthepresent.Thisisachievedbyusinghadinthenarrative.

NotethatIvenotincludedFlashforwards,simplybecausetheyfulfilthesamefunctionasflashbacks,however,unlesswritingscifi/fantasy,oratimetravelthemedstory,flashforwardsdonothaveaplaceinastory,sinceneitherthewriter,northecharacters,canpredictthefuture.

Now,ifwestitchsomeoftheexamplescenesshowninPart1togetherwiththeseexamplesinPart2,weshouldhavesomethingthatcontainsthemajorityofthosesceneelementstomakeanentirescene.

Dontexpectmetohelpyououtofthishole,Johnsaid.



Justthisonce,Dansaid.IpromiseIwontaskagain.

Yeah,yousaidthatlasttime,remember?Imstillpaying.Icouldhavegotcaught.Iwasthatclose.

Butyoudidntgetcaught.Wegotawaywithit.

Theresonlysomanytimespeoplecangetawaywithit.Youreaskingtoomuchthistime,Johnsaid.Itsjusttoorisky.

Wegetagoodpayout,hesaid.Donttellmeyouaintinterestedinthat(Conversational)

Heremembereditclearly,thememorystillfreshlikeanopenwound.Theoriginalfeelingsofeuphoriaandarrogancehadquicklyturnedtoangstthemomentthefaroffsoundofsirensbrokethroughthenight.Liketheothers,hedthoughthedgotawaywithit.Theyhadsplitthemoneyandgonetheirseparateways,thinkingthatwouldfoolthepolice,butithadnt,andpanicsetinatthethoughtofbeingcaught(Flashback)

Fourweekslater,Johndrovethecartothehighstreetandparkedupnearthebank,justasDanhadinstructed.Hewaited.(Transitional)

Johnglancedintherearviewmirror,sawperspirationonhisbrow,thicklikehoney.Thenhepeeredaheadandcloselywatchedthedoorstothebank.Theenginehummed,waiting,thesoundalmostsoothingandsoporific,butithadfeltlongerthanfourminutessinceDanwentintothebankthatJohncontemplateddrivingoffwithouthim,anythingtogetoutofgrowingdangeroussituation.MinutestickedlikeanechoingclockinJohnsfrazzledmind(Descriptive)

Fromthesedifferenttypesofscenesitseasytoseehowtheyworktogethertocreateacohesivewholescene,whatweusuallytermakeysceneinthestory.

Notalloftheelementalsceneshavebeenused,ofcourse,butthisexamplemakesuseofconversational,flashback,transitionalanddescriptivescenes,andscenesworkbetterwhentherearemoreofthem.Writershavemanysceneelementsattheirdisposal,sotheycanuseanynumberofcombinedsceneswithinthestory,andofcourse,itsuptothestorytodictate



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Nextweek:BreathingLifeintoDescription

POSTEDBYAJ HUMPAGEATSUNDAY, APRIL 07, 20131COMMENT: L INKSTOTHISPOST


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