admiring courage

8/8/2019 Admiring Courage

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President Jimmy Carter has appeared or been

mentioned in seven of the almost six thousand dreams

which I have recorded. His impact on me has therefore

been noteworthy, and I wonder about his importance in

my life.

Dream of:05 April 1977 "1976 Presidential

Campaign"


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I was at the House in Patriot (a cottage in the smallvillage of Patriot, Ohio, where my maternal

grandparents lived when I was a child). Thekitchen/living room had been converted into a classroom and a man who looked like the professor of a

psychology class I had attended in my first quarter ofcollege at the branch of Ohio University in Portsmouth,Ohio, was standing in front of us. He also reminded me

a bit of James Schlesinger.Apparently the topic of the class was the presidentialcampaign of 1976. We were studying on a map, which

the man had in the front of the room, the itinerary ofvice-president Walter Mondale as he campaigned in

1976. Mondale was also in the room and stood behind

me. At one point someone asked whether Jimmy Cartercould have won if Mondale had been the vicepresidential candidate for both Carter and Gerald

Ford. The professor said, "No, Ford would have won."At that point I looked around at Mondale, who seemedto agree with the statement. His tie was a bit askance.

The professor went on to show that Mondale'sresponsibility in the campaign had been to visit smallrural communities in an effort to sweep up votes. Heshowed, using the map, how Mondale had visited one
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small town three times. I thought to myself that hehad probably taken on a lover there.

Then, by use of another map, he showed that thepopulation centers were in other areas and he displayed

a large map of Pittsburgh and Philadelphia. The maphowever showed that Pittsburgh had the shore of anocean on its west side. Philadelphia was farther inland

on the east side.

The professor seemed like a friendly person. Since theother students weren't responding much, I decided toask a question. I asked what was the percent of urban

compared to rural population in the USA. I had topronounce the word "rural" twice, since I

mispronounced it the first time.

He said he didn't know for sure, but would guess about65% urban, 35% rural. I said I would have guessedabout 60% urban, 40% rural.

The professor sat down in an easy chair in front of theclass. I was sitting more to his left than directly in

front of him.The entire class now seemed interested and the pupils(most 17-18 years old) began raising their hands for

questions.One girl asked a question which I didn't understand.


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Bolata (a little girl about five years old who had oncebeen a neighbor in Portsmouth) was sitting across the

room from me. She asked a question which I couldn'thear. I placed my hand to my ear and asked her to

repeat. She stood up and I noticed how white her littleteeth were. She began walking toward me and loudly

repeated the question. She seemed cute to me. Ireached out and held her soft, little hand. Then I

tugged her closer to me and gave her a kiss on thecheek.She immediately began crying and ran toward the

professor, who likewise was taken in by her childishbeauty and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She likewise

recoiled from him and leaving the room said, "You

stink."I was uncertain to which of us she was referring, but Ithought although my clothes were a little dirty, I had

taken a bath and I didn't think I stank.Although I have kept abreast of political events and

have chosen sides, I have never been actively involved

in politics and know precious little about how the

system actually works.

Dream of: 09 September 1980 "Fighting Buffalos"

I had been elected to be a representative at a political


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convention taking place on my grandparents' Farm inGallia County, Ohio. A large building stood where the

milk house normally was, and inside 400-500 peoplewere beginning to gather. I arrived early and thenother people began arriving. My girlfriend Carolyn

showed up and I saw her before she saw me. Althoughseveral other pretty girls were there, I made my waystraight to Carolyn. She had a pretty blonde-haired

friend (about 16 years old) with her.We walked inside the convention hall and sat down atone of the long rows of cafeteria tables. Both

Republicans and Democrats were present. Someone tomy right began shouting, "We want Reagan. We want

Reagan."

I began shouting, "We want Carter! We want Carter!"Finally everyone quieted down.Carolyn was seated to my right and her blonde friendsat on my left. I was attracted to the blonde, but I

felt guilty because I knew she was Carolyn's friend andCarolyn was sitting right next to me. That fact

apparently didn't bother the blonde, however, becauseshe began stealthily caressing the side of my leg withher hand. She kept trying to entwine her fingers withmine and kept moving closer and closer until our bodies
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were right next to each other. I didn't try to stop her.Finally she had her hand between by legs. She put her

face to mine and began kissing me.I broke away for a moment and looked at Carolyn, whohad seen everything. Obviously she was hurt, although

she acted as if she weren't.When I turned back to the blonde, she was gone. I wassitting on the beige dress she had been wearing and at

first I thought she was still in it. Upon closerexamination, however, I realized she wasn't here. Iarose and began searching for her under the tables.

Then Carolyn also disappeared.I walked back up to the Farmhouse where I found quitea few people. I found a suit of German war clothes, put

it on and marched around dressed as a German soldier.Someone hollered and I walked back into the yard andfound a half dozen or more buffalo fighting each other.

It was a fascinating sight to watch two large buffalowith their long sharp horns bash into each other. One

even climbed up onto the porch and almost pinned me ina corner.

I escaped back into the Farmhouse, where Iencountered a fellow who seemed to be a bit insane. He

was inside one of the cabinets and seemed to be


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stealing something. I accosted him and wrestled him tothe ground. He had a few things in his pockets. When

he said he had some blotter LSD, I becameimmediately interested. I asked him to give it to me. Atfirst he demurred, but finally produced it. I took it inmy hand and headed back down the hill. It was snowingand I began thinking it would be nice to take the LSD in

my Cabin (a one-room cabin located on the Farm).

Instead, I returned to the convention hall. The mainelection hadn't taken place yet, but another smallerelection had. I saw the Scioto County district attorney,

Grimshaw, there on the stage. There had been anupset. A young man named Otterbein had been elected

and he was in the process of giving his acceptance

speech.Although I enjoy reading history, I do not enjoyactually participating in the historical process. I have

never developed a well -defined vision of where the

world is headed.

Dream of: 14 October 1981 "Admiring Courage"

I had failed all quarter to go to a torts class in which Iwas enrolled at Baylor Law School and which was beingtaught by former president Jimmy Carter and my lawprofessor Morrison. Two days before finals I took my
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books home and began studying in hopes I would beable to cram enough to at least make a D and not have

to take the class over again. The material was sovoluminous, however, I obviously had only a slim chance

of making a D.I looked in my torts book, found a chapter on maximsand read some. I skipped through the book and cameacross words like "intention" and "negligence" which I

barely understood.The day of the finals arrived and I went to class. I sawCampbell (a law student) in the hall and told him I

hadn't been to a single class or read a single case allquarter.

Everyone walked into the classroom and the exams

were passed out. Jimmy Carter began giving someinstructions. The exam was to last an hour and a halfand we could take the exam in another room if we

wanted. After the instructions had been given, I pickedup my papers and headed for the other room.Outside in the hall I met a girl I had known in

Chillicothe, Ohio who had worked in the manager'soffice of the Census Bureau when I had worked therein 1980. She showed me a list of names on the wall. Atfirst, I thought it was a list of names of people who
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hadn't been to class and who therefore weren't to begiven credit for the classes they had missed, but then

I saw it was a list of names of people transferring toother colleges. She showed me my name wasn't on thelist even though I was planning to transfer. I told her

it didn't matter.I walked into the lounge and sat down in front of the

television. A boxing match was beginning between

Sugar Ray Leonard and another black man much biggerthan Leonard. Although one of the men was obviouslySugar Ray Leonard, I thought his name was Leonard

Spinks.The fight began; the large black boxer hit Leonard

hard. Leonard toppled to the ground, but he managed

to rise again and the fight continued. The big blackfellow then kicked Leonard and then began kicking thereferee. The referee managed to throw the boxer outof the ring and declared Leonard the winner. I looked

at Leonard; I couldn't help admiring his courage incontending against someone so much larger than

himself.I looked at the clock; 20 minutes of my hour and a half

had already elapsed. I felt like forgetting about thetest; but I would hate to have to take that course over


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again. I walked back to the test room. I had my bookswith me; I was uncertain whether I could use them

during the exam. As I read the exam, I realized howfutile it was going to be; I felt like walking out and

forgetting the whole thing.Over time, I have definitely developed a callous

attitude toward politics. It is an interesting side show,

but I remain uninvolved.

Dream of: 06 February 1987 (3) "Life and DeathDrama"

I was riding in a car being driven by my father. Mymother and my brother Chris were also in the car; wewere headed for the Farmhouse. We knew in advancewe would have to park the car about two kilometers

from the Farmhouse and walk the rest of the way.Walking so far would be difficult because Chris (due tohis muscular dystrophy) would have to be carried; we

also had some other things which needed to be toted tothe Farmhouse. I suggested we first drive the car tothe Farmhouse, unload everything and then I woulddrive the car back to where it had to be parked and

walk back alone to the Farmhouse. My father thoughtmy idea was great and he wondered why he hadn't

thought of it himself.
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As we rode past the old Shelton farm (about fivekilometers from the Farmhouse) I saw an old white

church on the left side of the road. About a fourth ofthe church had been cut away like a piece of pie,

exposing the interior, which appeared to be in verygood condition. It looked as if the walls were covered

with fine-looking, light-colored paneling. I thoughtmaybe someone was remodeling the church.

As we rode along, I began reading a magazine. Thecover displayed a picture of president Jimmy Carterwho had been shot in the chest. The pictures inside the

magazine seemed almost lifelike.In a flurry we arrived at the Farmhouse and when Iwalked inside I found Jimmy Carter in a back room

being tended to. He still had the bullet in him and somemen who were apparently doctors were hovering aroundhim. The man who seemed to be in charge was Guinn

(who had been my Constitutional Law professor in lawschool).

I wanted to help and I thought I would even like toknow more about medicine to be able to assist in

emergencies. I stayed with the doctors. At one point Iwalked out to the living room for a moment and saw myfather reading a newspaper or magazine on the couch.
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He seemed completely uninterested in the life anddeath drama in the next room.

Even though I don't feel drawn into current politicalprocesses, I still feel the need understand and

comment upon history in general.

Dream of: 01 March 1987 "Impressionist"

I was sitting in a room where a man was standing at apodium. Many other men were also sitting in rows of

chairs in the room and a friend of mine was sitting nextto me on my left. The speaker announced that eachperson in the room was going to act like some famous

person and do a caricature of that person. The speakerbegan calling out people's names and as he did so, each

person called acted like some famous person. Some

people's acts were better than others. One fellowsitting in front of me acted like Jimmy Carter and hereceived a fairly good response from the crowd.

I was trying to decide whom I was going to act like.Finally I decided I would play Ronald Reagan and I

wrote his name on a piece of paper. I had seenimpressionists play Ronald Reagan before and I thoughthe would be fairly easy. Finally the speaker called out

my name.I had also developed another little plan. I thought as
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part of my act I was going to act as if the speaker wasGeorge Washington and I would conduct an interview of

him. I began speaking in a raspy voice which I thoughtwould approximate Reagan's voice, "Well first I wouldlike to say I would like to conduct an interview of you,

Mr. Washington."A roar of approval went up from the crowd. It seemed

everyone had immediately recognized whom I was

imitating. I then made it clear to the speaker that hewas also part of the act and that he was to play GeorgeWashington. His position seemed to dictate that he go

along and he immediately assumed the role.I began asking questions as if I (although still RonaldReagan) were a reporter conducting an interview. I

tried to make the questions as amusing as possiblebecause it seemed that the main goal of what we weredoing was to have fun. The speaker answered and the

audience laughed several times. Since I didn't have anyprepared script, I had to think up the questions

quickly. Some met with more success than others.I remembered a story I had recently read in a newsmagazine and asked, "Mr. President, there have beensome reports that some of the rooms in the White

House are haunted. And Nancy, who is a little (I made a


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motion with my eyes and a kind of humming sound as ifto say that Nancy Reagan was slightly mentally

unbalanced) anyway, sat out in front of your room onenight and said she saw your ghost three times. Is that

true?"The speaker answered the question. I was thinking that

I also wanted to ask a question about Abe Lincoln, tosee if Washington ever came in contact with Lincoln in

the world where he was.I continued asking questions and at one point when thespeaker answered, the audience broke into a deafening

laughter. I hollered out, "So you're the one who isresponsible for the mess today?"

The noise was so loud, only a couple people right next

to me could hear me. When the room finally quieteddown again, I thought it would be backward to say thesame thing, so I rephrased it to say, "Do you take

responsibility for the situation today?"He answered and I continued asking more questions. Itried to make sure I said "Mr. President" instead of

"Mr. Washington" when I addressed him, since Ithought that was more proper, but I slipped a fewtimes and said "Mr. Washington". Gradually he had

moved around the room and was finally standing not far


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from me on my left. I thought the interview hadprobably already lasted about 15 minutes, which was

long enough, so I said, "Well, I'm going to close theinterview now. But before I go, I'd like to know, Mr.

President, if you could give me some constructivecriticisms. But No. No. Forget that. I never ask for

criticism. Thank you. Good bye."The audience began laughing and applauding very loudly.

I was really surprised that they had liked me so much.As they applauded I also noticed they were making asound which sounded like "Mmmmmmmmmm". Since Ididn't know what that meant, I turned to my friendsitting next to me and asked, "What in the hell does

that mean?"

He said the sound meant they thought what I had donewas delicious. I felt good. I thought maybe a prize wasgoing to be given for the best impression and I had a

good chance of winning it.Dreaming about historical figures has proven difficult

for me. It is a task, however, which definitely needs

more attention.

Dream of: 05 October 1992 "Tying A Knot"

While sitting in a classroom being taught by GeorgeH.W. Bush, I dozed off and had a dream. When I
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awoke, to everyone's surprise, I volunteered to tell theclass my dream. I knew that wasn't something which

was usually done, but I also knew I was a dream-tellerand I felt it appropriate for me to do so.

I recounted that I had been at a baseball stadium.George Bush was down on the field. There were some

life-size balloon figures of Jimmy Carter in the stands,but they burst. Bush pulled a name from the thousands

who were in the stadium and called it out: "SteveCollier". It didn't surprise me. I rose and walked downto where Bush was.

He gave me a rope which I was supposed to tie ontosomething. But I was ashamed because I only knew how

to tie one type of knot.

As I recounted that part of the dream, I thought ithad special meaning. I thought it was saying that therewere some things I knew how to do, but that I needed

to learn to do others.History is not simply a series of events, but also a

series of changes. Although I have never been involved

in effecting any changes, perhaps I should be.

Dream of: 14 December 1996 "Harvard"

I was on the campus of Harvard, where I was planningto start classes. This was the first day and all the new
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in-coming students were supposed to attend anassembly at which I would give a speech because I was

the designated "president-elect" of our class. I wasn'texactly sure what being "president-elect" meant, or

how I had been chosen; I only knew such was the case.Several other people would also be speaking at the

assembly, and I was supposed to simply stand and give ashort speech. I continued walking around the campus,

trying to figure out what I would say. I walked past theplace where the assembly was scheduled to occur, andI saw people already starting to gather. The place

looked like an outside auditorium. Only a few peoplewere already there, and I kept my distance, still trying

to decide what I was going to say. I thought the

assembly would somewhat resemble a commencementceremony, and I tried to think of the kinds of thingswhich might be said at a commencement. As I begantrying to go over in my mind the points I would try tomake, I wondered if I should write down my thoughts

so I wouldn't forget them.I might mention that I had once before been on

Harvard campus and that I had walked around there. Infact it seemed as if I had walked around there two orthree times before. However I had never thought I


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myself would end up going to Harvard. I knew I hadalready gone to college elsewhere, but now the idea of

actually taking classes at Harvard was exciting andpleasing. I was in an extremely good mood at the

prospects of studying at Harvard.I thought in my speech I might say that I had come

from humble beginnings, that my family had been verypoor, and that I had never thought I would make it to

Harvard. I might also bring up that I had received ascholarship from the National Endowment for theHumanities which would pay for my entire first year ofstudies all my tuition, room and board. It seemed like

the total amount for the first year was around$420,000.

I also thought that during the speech I would bring upthe issue of the legalization of drugs. This was an issuewhich was close and dear to me, and I began trying tothink about how I would broach the subject. I quicklydecided that it would be best not to talk about the

legalization of all drugs, that I should concentrate onlyon the legalization of marijuana. I thought I should saythat during the next four years the time during which

all these students would be at Harvard it was timefor marijuana to be legalized.
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I knew I myself didn't use drugs, and I thoughtperhaps I should also add that drugs were dangerous.

But then I decided it wouldn't be a good idea to saythat drugs were dangerous, because I didn't think that

was actually a true statement. I however thought Ishould say something like, "But as long as you are here,don't do drugs, because it'd be punished severely." Iwould then point out that even though the students

didn't actually take any drugs, they should still worktoward the legalization of marijuana.I didn't know how this speech would be received, and Ididn't even know whether I should talk about it, but I

thought that the legalization of marijuana was stillgoing to be essential in my message to the students.

Feeling as if it was getting close to the time for theassembly to begin, I walked closer to the auditorium,where I could see the students already beginning togather. When I looked inside, I was surprised that

although some of the people were sitting down, mostwere on their feet and dancing. Everyone appeared to

be in a happy mood because they were getting ready tostart college.

Finally things began to quiet down, and people begantaking their seats. An announcement was made that the


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first speaker should now come to the front stage, andthat the first speaker was Jimmy Carter. I saw Jimmy

Carter walking toward the stage. Realizing theassembly was beginning, I hurried to a place behind the

stage which was reserved for the speakers. As Ireached the row of chairs where the speakers were

sitting, I could see more quickly out into theauditorium, which now looked more like a huge outdoor

stadium completely filled with people.As I took a seat among the row of speakers, a womanasked me who I was. I told her my name, and that I wasthe president-elect. She indicated she understood who

I was. I then asked her if she knew what I wassupposed to say when I gave my speech. She seemed

unsure, so I just sat there and listened to the otherspeakers, waiting for my turn.I listened to several different speakers make short

speeches, and I tried to get an idea of what they weresaying, still trying to decide what I would say. Whenone of the speakers spoke, he pointed to a tall black

student sitting in the front row. I thought the studentmight be a basketball player. When he was pointed out,

the black fellow stood and began singing a beautifulsoulful song. The song was short, and when he was
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finished the black student sat back down.Continuing to look around me, I noticed that to our

right was a wall made of glass. A tall strong-lookingHispanic man, probably in his mid 30s, was standing on

the other side of the wall. He was dressed in workclothes which made me think he might be a window

washer. When I gave my speech, I might point to theman, and mention my affinity to Hispanic people. I

could mention that I spoke Spanish, and I might evenholler out to the Hispanic man and speak to himthrough the window.

However, mainly I was still planning to concentrate myspeech on the issue of drugs and the legalization of

drugs. I felt that this should be a rather liberal body

of people with whom to talk, and that the studentsshould be receptive to the idea of legalizing marijuana.I hoped for a good reception.

I might also pepper my speech with accounts of thetime when I had been injail for quite a while in Iran.

Plus I thought I had been in jail on other occasions, andI could mention that. It might be entertaining to talkabout how a person could go to Harvard after having

been in jail. However, I wasn't completely sure it wouldbe wise to bring up the fact that I had spent time in
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jail.I also wondered whether I should bring up the fact

that I had been to law school and that I was a lawyer.Thinking of this fact, I thought I might even practicesome law while I was going to Harvard. I knew I wasn'tlicensed to practice law in Massachusetts, but I still

had my legal knowledge which I could put to use. In myspeech, I might even mention that if someone had a

legal problem, he or she might ask me for advice.However, I wasn't sure that was a good idea to bringthat up either.

My thoughts were interrupted as the man who waspresently speaking turned around, looked at me andpointed to me. The speaker said something to the

audience about the smile on my face. Only then did Irealize that all the time I had been sitting there, I hadhad a big smile on my face, and that even now I could

just not seem to stop smiling. But I felt so happy, andthe smile just seemed to reflect how I felt. I wasextremely happy, and I could just not seem to stop

smiling.Now everyone was looking at me and my smile. Even

though I was happy, I didn't think I had a particularlypretty smile, and I thought perhaps the speaker was


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making fun of me. But slowly I realized the speakerwasn't making fun of me, that he was simply pointing

out the I was a very happy type of fellow. When acouple other people also spoke up and said something

about my smile, I thought I should say something back.After all, I was at Harvard now, and I couldn't just sit

around and not say something. I was expected tocontribute in some way. Finally, trying to be humorous,

I blurted out, "You can't even smile at Harvard?"I had tried to speak loud enough so the people in theaudience could hear me; but there was no reaction atall. I hoped someone might laugh at my humor, but noone said anything. I quickly concluded I hadn't beenvery funny after all. I also noticed that when I had

pronounced the word "Harvard", I had pronounced theword with the Midwestern accent with which I hadgrown up. I hadn't spoken the word the way someone

from Massachusetts would have said the word. Ireflected that I would probably soon modify my accent

and begin talking more like the people in this area.I admired Jimmy Carter as president. Although I do

not share his activist life style, I have felt inspired by

his efforts.

Copyright 2011 by [email protected] var


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admiring courage

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