Healthy Conflict Managementlearning how to fight fair

Conflict is an inevitable part of life

God is not surprised by it

It’s part of every healthy relationship

The goal is NOT to avoid it but to embrace it

3 main causes

We are sinful

We are different

Satan engineers it

Common Reactions

Note: Conflict itself isn’t a sin, but how we react to it can be and often is.

“In your conflict do not sin…”

THE “FIGHT” REACTION

THE “FLIGHT” REACTION

God is serious about conflict

So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

- Matthew 5:23-24

PRACTICAL TIPS FOR DEALING WITH

CONFLICT

Go to God first

God is bigger than the problem Seek His heart for the situation AND

the person. Self-Examination (Matthew 7:3)

▪ Anger, insecurity, pride, offense. It keeps us from acting impulsively

(gossip, harsh words, etc.) Don’t wait on the other person to

experience the freedom that comes from forgiving.

Go to the Person (Mattt 18:15)

Go alone (Mt 18:15)

Go quickly (Keep short accounts)

Seek Understanding, not victory

Assume the best about people

Assume there’s more to the story

Communication is everything

Learn to share your feelings appropriately

Watch your tongue

Speak the truth in love (Eph 4:15)

Attack the problem not the person

Don’t over-spiritualize

Application

What has God made you aware of in yourself that you need to put into practice in dealing with conflict?

Is there a person or a situation that you need to deal with today? Or as soon as you get home?

The stakes are TOO high to continue avoiding or handling it poorly.