© 2009 cengage learning. all rights reserved. 1 chapter 9 lecture slides revising written messages

© 2009 Cengage Learning. All rights reserved.

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Chapter 9Chapter 9Lecture SlidesLecture SlidesChapter 9Chapter 9Lecture SlidesLecture Slides

Revising Written MessagesRevising Written Messages


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Learning Objective 1Learning Objective 1Learning Objective 1Learning Objective 1

List the steps in the systematic List the steps in the systematic revision processrevision process

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Actual Newspaper Headlines

• Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers

• Miners refuse to work after death

• Drunk gets nine months in violin case

• Iraqi head seeks arms

Source: Source: http://english.glendale.cc.ca.us/badheds.html

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Frame of Mind for Proofreading

• Attempt to see things from your audience’s perspective rather than from your own.

• Revise your documents until you cannot see any additional ways to improve them.

• Be willing to allow others to make suggestions for improving your writing.

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Systematic Procedures for Revision

1. Print a draft copy2. Proofread three times:

- Once for content, organization, and style- Again for mechanical errors- A third time, right to left or out loud

3. Edit format and layout4. Spell check5. Print on high-quality paper

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Avoid Writing Errors:

Don’t Do This!!• Subject and verb always has to

agree.• Proofread carefully to see if you

any words out. • Writing carefully, dangling

participles must be avoided.• If any word is improper at the end

of a sentence, a linking verb is. • Don't use commas, that, are

not, necessary11

Source: Don’t Do This: http://www.plainlanguage.gov/examples/humor/writegood.cfm


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Discuss ways to communicate Discuss ways to communicate ethically and responsiblyethically and responsibly

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Ensuring Ethical CommunicationLook for: • Truthfully stated information• Exaggerated or embellished

facts• Clarity and exact meaning• Objective supporting facts• Tactful statements toward

receiver• Carefully designed graphics

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Identify ways to develop logical Identify ways to develop logical and unified messagesand unified messages

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Structuring Strong Messages

• Strong messages come from clear organization.

• Unified messages have paragraphs arranged in a systematic sequence.

• A summary ties the end back to the beginning and brings all major points together.

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Writing Effective Paragraphs

To write effective paragraphs, you must learn to

• Develop deductive or inductive paragraphs consistently,

• Link ideas to achieve coherence• Keep paragraphs unified• Vary sentence and paragraph

length

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Paragraphs: Broken Text

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Paragraphs: Broken Text

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Topic Sentence Placement

• Deductive placement:– Topic sentence precedes details

• Inductive placement:– Topic sentence follows details

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Tips for Linking Sentences:

• Repeat a word used in the previous sentence

• Use a pronoun for a noun used in the previous sentence– …take this responsibility. It can be

shared…• Use connecting words:

– However – Therefore– nevertheless, – in addition

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Vary Sentence and Paragraph Length

Short sentences – are easier to read– May sound

elementary or monotonous

Longer sentences– Compound or

complex– Provide variety– Give short

sentences emphasis

Short paragraphs in letters, memos, and email – Longer paragraphs

in business reports

Short first and last paragraphs– Others average 6

lines– No longer than 8-10

lines.

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Apply techniques for developing Apply techniques for developing effective, powerful sentenceseffective, powerful sentences

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Crafting Powerful Sentences

• Use correct sentence structure

• Rely on active voice• Emphasize important

ideas

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Types of Clauses

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Construction Errors to Avoid

• Sentence Fragment As the president reported this morning. As the president reported this morning, sales increased in May.

• Run-on or fused Sentence A new printer has been ordered it should be delivered tomorrow. A new printer has been ordered, and it should be delivered tomorrow.

• Comma Splice The number of questions has been reduced, the survey will require less time to complete. Because the number of questions has been reduced, the survey will require less time to complete.


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Rely on Active Voice

Active voice– Emphasize the doer– Simplify

comprehension

“Our sales reps transfer reports electronically from remote locations to the home office.”

Passive voice– Emphasize the

action– Useful in delivering

an unpleasant thought

“Reports are transferred electronically from remote locations to the home office.”

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Ways to Emphasize Ideas• Simple Sentences

– Use independent clauses in compound sentences

• Repetition of key words• Use labeling words to

emphasize significance– Most important; less significant

• Position first or last in sentence or paragraph

• Give important information more space

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Identify factors affecting readability Identify factors affecting readability and revise messages to improve and revise messages to improve

readabilityreadability

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Improving Readability

To improve readability:• Understand readability

measures• Use contemporary language• Use simple, informal words• Be concise• Use visuals to aid

comprehension

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Readability: Use StatisticsFlesch-Kincaid Evaluates sentence length and word difficulty to produce approximate grade level necessary for reader understanding.

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Use Contemporary Language

– Outdated expressions• Pursuant to your

request• enclosed please find• very truly yours

– Clichés• Pushed the envelope• Cover all the bases• That sucks!

– Jargon

ELIMINATE :

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Use Contemporary Language

– Original expressions• As you requested• Enclosed• Sincerely

– Fresh language• Took a risk• Get input from everyone• That needs improvement

– Common words

USE:

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Simple Words

Simple words are:• Less distracting• More emphatic

Formal Words

Informal Words

Terminate End

Procure Get

Remunerate Pay

Corroborate support

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Communicate Concisely

•Eliminate redundancies•Use active voice•Pay attention to

relevance and receiver needs

•Eliminate clichés•Shorten sentences•Use compound adjectives

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Use Visual Enhancements

– Bulleted lists– Hierarchical, informative

headings– Tables and graphs– Partition with lines and

borders– Highlight information with

relevant images

Generate text breaks with chunking

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Identify ways to project a positive, Identify ways to project a positive, tactful tonetactful tone

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Project Positive Tone• State ideas using positive

language.• Avoid using second person

when stating negative ideas.• Use passive voice to convey

negative ideas.• Use subjunctive mood.• Include pleasant statement

in the same sentence.

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Have International Sensitivity

Avoid• Sports analogies

– The top gun

• Formal language• Jargon• Slang• Abbreviations• Red flag words• Political

judgments

Use• Simple, precise

language– Swift vs. fast

• Figures for expressing numbers

• Metric system • The full month name• Correct letter or

memo format

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© 2009 cengage learning. all rights reserved. 1 chapter 9 lecture slides revising written messages

Documents

cengage learning

learning objective

unified messages

writing effective paragraphs

inductive paragraphs

written messages

writing errors

arms source