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PREPARE/ENRICH/INSPIRE for Teens

By: Jessica Nixon Pool and Amy Olson-Sigg

Decades of research have established the Prepare-Enrich assessment as a reliable way to uncover strengths and weaknesses of romantic relationships – and to predict long-term outcomes. Key conclusions from these studies form the basis for PREPARE/ENRICH/INSPIRE for Teens (PEI), a major new relationship curriculum developed by The Dibble Institute for teen audiences. The core lessons of PEI introduce the insights and skills that affect success in all types of relationships: self-awareness, expectations, communication, conflict resolution and planning. Reflecting teen preoccupations, romantic attachments take center stage in lessons about dating, love, intimacy, marriage and families.

Or for more information, go to

www.DibbleInstitute.org

To order Grades 8-14

10 Core Lessons

The Dibble Institute PO Box 7881

Berkeley, CA 94707-0881 800-695-7975

[email protected]

Copyright © 2011 by The Dibble Institute. Berkeley, CA 94707. All Rights Reserved.

Preparing Youth, Enriching Relationships, Inspiring Futures!

Sample Lesson

Based on the work of David Olson, Ph.D. Professor Emeritus, Family Social Science, University of Minnesota

lesson 2

KNoWINgyoURSElF

When people know who they are and clearly understand what they want, they have a much better chance of achieving their own success, happiness and personal

fulfillment in relationships. In this lesson, students begin by thinking about the question•“Who•Am•I?”•Students•will•take•the•SCOPE Personality Quiz to gain a

better•understanding•of•how•their•personalities•can•influence•relationships.••They•also•examine•three•influences•on•decision-making:•parental•expectations,•peer•

pressure. and self-image. Students will discover that knowing who they are helps define their values, which in turn will help them to make decisions that are in line

with those values.

outline Section 2.1: Who Am I? (10-20 minutes)Section 2.2: My•Personality:•How•to•Understand•Others• by Understanding Yourself (20-25 minutes)Section 2.3: Influences•on•Your•Decisions•(20-25•minutes)Section 2.4: Values and Beliefs (10 minutes)Section 2.5: Values and Decision-Making (10 minutes)

27

Whatdo youthink?lessOn tWO AssessMentCircle True or False for each question below.

True or False 1. Our perceptions, beliefs, experiences, and attitudes affect the way we experience the world.

True or False 2. Knowing how people perceive you is the best way to get to know yourself.

True or False 3. Technical skills and IQ are two of the most important factors that lead to personal and professional success.

True or False 4. A person’s personality tends to change over time.

True or False 5. Extroverts tend to have better relationships than introverts.

True or False 6. Adolescents are particularly susceptible to peer pressure.

True or False 7. The expectations your parents have for you can influence the choices you make.

True or False 8. Peer pressure can lead you to do things you might otherwise not do in order to gain acceptance and approval from others.

True or False 9. Teens who feel good about themselves are more likely to do what their peers are doing, even if it goes against their values.

True or False 10. The things I decide to do have little or no connection to my values. True or False 11. I make my own decisions, without being influenced by my family, church or peers.

28 • PREPARE | ENRICH | INSPIRE • INSTRUCTOR’S MANUAL

SEcTION 2.1

Who Am I?Begin this lesson by having students take the What Do You Think? assessment on the facing page. See the How to Use the Assessment pages for more information. Use this assessment to customize your lesson plan. The Score Guide at the end of the lesson will help you determine which PREPARE and ENRICH parts you should emphasize based on how your class scored.

section 2.1 ObjectiveDifferentiate between reflections of who you are and descriptions of who you are.

section 2.1 lesson Plan OverviewinsPire: Who Am I?

1. In this Section, have students complete pages 7-8 in the Student Journal. Watch for prompts throughout the Instructor’s Manual lesson plans.

PrePAre: Perceptions2. Lead a discussion using the information found in the

PREPARE section, Perceptions, while beginning page 7 in the Student Journal.

PrePAre: Reflectionsvs.Descriptions3. Lead a discussion using the information found in the

PREPARE section, Reflections vs. Descriptions, while completing page 7 in the Student Journal.

4. OPTIONAL: The Cookie Thief (Activity Book #6).

PrePAre: Self-awareness5. Lead a discussion using the information found in the PREPARE section, Self-

Awareness, while completing page 7 in the Student Journal.

enrich: ReflectionsorDescriptions6. Conduct the group activity, Reflections or Descriptions. Instruct the group to record

their responses to each of the questions located on page 8 of the Student Journal.

LESSON 2 • KNOWING YOURSELF • 29

section 2.1 Materials:In this Lesson:• What Do You Think? Lesson 2 Assessment

(Assessmemt 2)

On the Resource CD:• Lesson 2 PowerPoint Presentation

In the Student Journal:• Who Am I? (pg 7-8)

In the Activity Book (optional):• The Cookie Thief (#6)

Materials: Mirror • Index Cards • Tape

section 2.1 Preparation:• Assessment #1-3: Review the

assessment questions for this section as you present the information in the PREPARE sections and conduct the activities in the ENRICH sections.

• Journal: Locate pgs 7-8 in the Student Journal. Remember, most INSPIRES are also located in the Student Journal.

• Powerpoint: Locate Lesson 2 PowerPoint on Resource CD. Use slides 2-10 for this section.

• Activity Book (optional: #6) Additional activities are in the Skill Sets: Teen Relationships and Romance Activity Book, available separately from The Dibble Institute.

#1 TRuE OR FALSE Our perceptions, beliefs, experiences, and attitudes affect the way we experience the world. (True)

Prepare Perceptions

insPire: “Wedon’tseethingsastheyare,weseethingsasweare.”— AnAïs nin Do you think this statement is true? Why or why not? Give an example that illustrates this quote.” (Student Journal page 7)

Paraphrase the following:

“What does it mean to ‘see things as we are’ compared to seeing things as ‘they are’? At one level this is about perception. many things in life are neutral—they are not inherently ‘good’ or ‘bad’, but people assign values to some things that begin to change their perception and attitude of any given thing, event, or even idea. The simplest example of this is a rainy day. Rain is necessary for life, but many people have an attitude or perception that rainy or cloudy days are somehow imperfect. They then allow their percep-tions to affect their mood. Perhaps a better, but yet still simple, example of seeing things as we are versus as they are, is how physical health and mood affect perception. Have you ever been not feeling well to the point where your whole outlook on life is just bleak? or have you been in a mood where things that normally may make you laugh don’t seem the least bit funny? Just as physical health and moods can greatly affect the way we experience the world, so can our beliefs, experiences, and attitudes about ourselves.”

#2 TRuE OR FALSE Knowing how people perceive you is the best way to get to know yourself. (False)

Prepare Reflections vs. descriptions

Walk•around•the•room•holding•a•mirror•in•front•of•the•students.••Have•students•follow along and complete page 7 in the Student Journal as you paraphrase the following script:

“Have you ever asked yourself the question, ‘Who am I?’ What we see in the mirror and the qualities we display are only reflections of who we are to the outside world. Self-knowledge is much deeper than what is visible or displayed. Sometimes what we reflect to the world has little to do with who we truly are. Who hasn’t had an idea about a person that was proved wrong once they learned more information about that person?” (Share an example


with the class, and have the students write an example in the Student Journal. An example is listed in the Add to It Activity.)

#3 TRuE OR FALSE Technical skills and IQ are two of the most important factors that lead to personal and professional success. (False)

Prepare Self-awareness


“Knowing who you are (self-awareness) helps define your values which, in turn, helps you make decisions that are in line with those values. The pro-cess of getting to know yourself happens incrementally and is a lifelong process. Self-awareness is foundational to our personal and professional success and happiness.”

INSPIRE: In what ways would knowing oneself help lead someone to professional success and happiness? (SJ page 7)

“We often hear about a person’s IQ or intellectual intelligence, which is a measure of one’s learned intelligence. However, did you know that we also have an EQ, or emotional intelligence? Knowing yourself is a part of a per-son’s emotional intelligence. ‘Emotional intelligence,’ or ‘EQ’ as it is referred to, is based on awareness of self and others, particularly in learning to iden-tify, understand and manage emotions and the emotions of others.1 Studies indicate that our capacity to recognize and manage emotion is more than twice as important as our cognitive abilities and technical skills. For people in leadership positions, emotional intelligence skills account for close to 90% of what distinguishes outstanding leaders from those judged as aver-age.2 The lessons in this program were developed, in part, to increase emo-tional intelligence.”

INSPIRE: When you think about your relationships, what do you think is most important: IQ (your intellectual ability) or EQ (your ability to recognize, manage and understand emotions)? Explain. (SJ page 7)

Enrich Reflections or descriptions?

Introduce this activity by saying,

“In this activity, we are going to take a deeper look at knowing yourself. do the beliefs you have about others describe who they really are on the inside or are they merely reflections of what you see on the outside?”


Add TO IT #6: The Cookie Thief (in the optional Activity Book).

For this activity, the instructor will need to decide, based on time, if the group should all work together in one large group or if students should be divided into smaller groups of five.

Each person should have a note card for every person in the group. Tell students that they are to respond to each of their group members by writing something he or she believes•about•them•individually•on•a•note•card.••For•example,•“Marissa•is•confident”•or•“Michael•is•a•nice•dresser.”•Give•groups•a•few•minutes•to•write•their•beliefs.•Collect all the cards and pass them out to the person each card was written about. (INSTRUCTOR’S NOTE: Students should be warned to only write appropriate comments. However, because the instructor will gather and redistribute the cards, it allows for the opportunity to do a bit of screening. Simply discard any card that is inappropriate.)

After students have received note cards from their peers, have them read through the cards and determine whether the descriptions represent deep truths of who they are or mere reflections of who they are.

Have•students•turn•to•page•8•in•the•Student Journal and locate the Reflections or Descriptions? Activity. Instruct them to record their responses to each of the questions located there.

“Personality has the power to open many doors,

but character must keep them open.”

—unknown—



SEcTION 2.2

My Personality How to Understand Others by Understanding yourself

section 2.2 Objectives• Assess your personality using the SCOPE profile.• Understand that personality tends to remain

stable over time.

section 2.2 lesson Plan OverviewINSPIRE:MyPersonality

1. In this Section, have students complete page 9 in the Student Journal. Watch for prompts throughout the Instructor’s Manual lesson plans.

PREPaRE:UnderstandingYourPersonality

2. OPTIONAL: My Logo (Activity Book #7).

3. Lead a discussion using the information found in the PREPARE section, Understanding Your Personality, while completing page 9 in the Student Journal.

ENRIch:ScOPEPersonalityQuiz4. Students will complete the SCOPE Personality Quiz

(Resource 2a) to help them better understand themselves.

PREPaRE:ScOPEPersonalityQuiz5. Lead a discussion using the information found in

the PREPARE section SCOPE Personality Quiz while completing Resources 2a and 2b.

section 2.2 Materials:in this lesson:• SCOPE Personality Quiz (Resource 2a)• SCOPE Personality Quiz Result Guide

(Resource 2b)• SCOPE Quiz: Interpretations of Scores

(Key 2a)

On the resource cd:• Lesson 2 PowerPoint Presentation

in the student Journal:• My Personality (pg 9)

in the Activity Book (optional):• My Logo (#7)

Materials: Paper • Markers • Old magazines • Glue • Basic art supplies

section 2.2 Preparation:• Assessment#4-5: Review the


• Journal: Locate page 9 in the Student Journal. Remember, most INSPIRES are also located in the Student Journal.

• Powerpoint: Locate Lesson 2 PowerPoint on Resource CD. Us-e slides 11-26 for this section.

•ActivityBook(optional: #7) Additional activities are in the Skill Sets: Teen Relationships and Romance Activity Book, available separately from The Dibble Institute.

#4 TRuE OR FALSE A person’s personality tends to change over time. (False)

Prepare understanding Your Personality

INSPIRE: “Weattractheartsbythecharacteristicswedisplay;weretainheartsbythecharacteristicswepossess.”—JeAn BAptiste Antoine suArd Do you think this statement is true? Why or why not? Give an example that illustrates the quote. (SJ page 9)


“Turn to your neighbor and ask him or her to describe you. What was their response? most likely your neighbor described you based on your personal-ity. Your personality is the combination of personal and behavioral traits—things like being loud or being funny. If I were to ask you to describe your-self, what would you say? Your answer is your self-concept, or the mental picture you have of yourself. Both your personality and self-concept will affect the different relationships you develop in your life.”

INSPIRE: When you think of your own personality, what word comes to mind first? (SJ page 9)

“do you ever wonder why you get along well with one person and not an-other, or why people behave as they do? Psychologists and philosophers have studied differences in human behavior and emotional character for centuries. The study of individual differences and similarities is the study of personality. Because personality has so many factors and variables, models have been developed to help people talk about and understand personal-ity traits. For example, one commonly understood aspect of personality is the tendency toward introversion or extraversion. This tendency refers to whether a person gets their motivation and energy within themselves (in-ternally) or from others (externally). one way is not better than the other—they are just different. People vary greatly in their degrees toward a certain tendency and can be very balanced on any personality traits.”

INSPIRE: Have you ever thought about whether you are introverted or extraverted? What is your guess? Turn to page 9 of your Student Journal and respond to the questions to help you determine introvert vs. extrovert tendencies.

“How many of you scored higher as an extrovert? How about an introvert? Remember, one way is not better than the other—they are just different.”

“Understanding your personality can help you understand your own pat-terns of behavior and those of others, and to make better decisions based

Add TO IT #7: My Logo (in the optional Activity Book).



on this knowledge. For instance, if you know you feel most energized and productive working independently and without distractions and noise, you may not want to pursue a highly active and social career such as in sales. This type of work may leave you feeling depleted, whereas a highly extra-verted person may feel energized. or if you know you feel more energized by ideas and feelings (introversion preferences) than action and variety (ex-traversion tendencies), you would more likely enjoy a beach or ski vaca-tion more than a sensory-overloaded vacation like at Walt disney World®. Understanding personality is about working within your natural tendencies and strengths. An important aspect of personality is that it tends to remain stable over time. So don’t waste your time trying to change your personality, but work with your natural tendencies to express yourself in authentic and healthy ways.”

INSPIRE: Give an example of how being introverted or extraverted could affect relationships.. (SJ page 9)

“Knowing who you are will help you feel that you have worth and value in this world. When you can accept yourself for who you are, it will be easier for others to accept you too. Learning about yourself can help you develop lasting relationships with others as well as help you make choices that will direct your life in the path best suited for you.”

Enrich ScOPE Personality Quiz

Students will complete a personality quiz to help them better understand themselves. Pass out the SCOPE Personality Quiz (Resource 2a). Introduce the quiz by saying,

“The following quiz will help you learn more about your personality. The quiz lists phrases that describe behaviors. Use a rating scale of 1-5 to describe how much you agree that each statement describes you. Think about who you are now, not who you wish to be in the future. Be as honest as you can. When you have answered all the questions, record your answers on the scor-ing sheet that is provided. Be sure to follow the directions carefully.”

(INSTRUCTOR’S NOTE: Go over the directions from the scoring sheet (Resource 2a) with the class. Also, walk around to help anyone who is having trouble scoring their test. Use the Scope Quiz Interpretation of Scores (Key 2a) and the optional Resource 2b, SCOPE Personality Quiz Result Guide, to go over the SCOPE Quiz when everyone completes it. This resource is a summary of the different factors and a result guide. )

#5 TRuE OR FALSE Extroverts tend to have better relationships than introverts. (False)

Prepare ScOPE Personality Quiz

Pass out the SCOPE Personality Quiz Result Guide (Resource 2b). Go over this summary•with•the•class.•(Also•use•Key•2a.)••Pause•after•discussing•each•level•and•review the class scores on each dimension. Discuss the advantages and limitations of scoring high, average or low in each dimension. Allow students to fill in the Result Guide after each level is discussed (Resource 2b). Begin the discussion by stating:

“Let’s review what these findings reveal about different personalities. The SCOPE Quiz that you have just taken is based on the Five-Factor model of personality. The high and low scores are meant to be descriptive, not judg-mental. High and low scores each have their own pros and cons, and no one personality can be said to work best in relationships.”

Stop and allow time for the students to answer the Follow It Up questions from Resource 2b on a sheet of paper. If time permits, walk through these questions as a class, engaging in a class discussion as well as allowing students to formulate their own answers to each question.


““An individual’s self-concept is the core of his personality.

It affects every aspect of human behavior: the ability to learn,

the capacity to grow and change. A strong, positive self-image

is the best possible preparation for success in life.”

—Dr. Joyce BrotherS —


SEcTION 2.3

Influences on Your Decisionssection 2.3 ObjectiveDescribe factors that influence your decisions.

section 2.3 lesson Plan OverviewinsPire: InfluencesonYourDecisions

1. In this Section, have students complete pages 10-11 in the Student Journal. Watch for prompts throughout the Instructor’s Manual lesson plans.

enrich:PeerPressureactivity

2. Using the Would You Rather? Cards (Activity Cards 2.1), lead this group activity on Peer Pressure.

PrePAre: InfluencesonYourDecisions3. Lead a discussion using the information found in the

PREPARE section, Influences on Your Decisions, while completing page 10 in the Student Journal.

4. Lead a discussion using the information found in the PREPARE section, Parental Expectations, while completing page 10 in the Student Journal.

5. Optional: Letter of Advice (Activity Book #8)6. Lead a discussion using the information found in the

PREPARE section, Peer Pressure, while completing page 11 in the Student Journal.

7. Optional: In the Jar (Activity Book #9)8. Optional: Positive and Negative Peer Pressure (Activity

Book #10)

PrePAre: Self-Image9. Lead a discussion using the information found in the

PREPARE section, Self-Image, while completing page 11 in the Student Journal.

10. Optional: Conformity (Activity Book #11)

enrich: Why We Do What We Do? Activity

11. Have students complete the Why We Do What We Do? Worksheet (Resource 2c).

section 2.3 Materials:in this lesson:• Why Do We Do What We Do? Worksheet

(Resource 2c)

in the Appendix:• Would You Rather? Cards (Activity Card

2.1)


in the student Journal:• Influences on Your Decisions (pgs 10-11)

in the Activity Book (optional):• Letter of Advice (#8)• In the Jar (#9)• Positive and Negative Peer Pressure (#10)• Conformity (#11)

section 2.3 Preparation:• Assessment#6-9: Review the


• Journal: Locate pages 10-11 in the Student Journal. Remember, most INSPIRES are also located in the Student Journal.


•ActivityBook(optional: #8-11) Additional activities are in the Skill Sets: Teen Relationships and Romance Activity Book, available separately from The Dibble Institute.

Enrich Would You Rather?

Locate•the•Would You Rather? Cards (Activity Cards 2.1) found in the Appendix at the back of this PEI Kit.•Have•students•gather•in•the•center•of•the•room.•Explain•to•them•that you are going to give them a choice. Everyone has to make a decision. The students will indicate their choices by moving to one side of the room or the other. Select a card, read the question and indicate which side of the room represents each choice. Then, give students time to move in one direction or the other without discussing. Encourage them to quickly make a decision. Consider having them come back to the center after each question.

Have•students•return•to•their•seats.••Ask•them•to•raise•their•hands•if•one•of•their•decisions•was•influenced•by•another•person.•Lead•a•group•discussion•of•the•following•questions.

FOLLOW IT uP: • How does it feel or would it feel to be alone on one side of the room?• What role could peer pressure play in decision-making?• In what ways do you see peers being influenced by friends? By the media?

#6 TRuE OR FALSE Adolescents are particularly susceptible to peer pressure (True)

Prepare Influences on Your decisions

INSPIRE: Give examples of peer pressure you have seen in your school. “Peer pressure is positive when…” “Peer pressure is negative when…” (SJ pg 10)


“Adolescence or young adulthood is generally the time when you develop a sense of independence and begin choosing your own values and beliefs about a variety of different issues. As a young child, your family seems like your whole world and what your family does appears to be the only way to live. As you grow up, however, countless other influences will come to play in your life. You may be quickly learning that your family’s way of living is just one of many possible paths. As you grow older, you may begin to value your independence and strive to make decisions about your life from your own perspective.”

INSPIRE: What is a recent decision you made independently? How did it feel to make this decision on your own? (SJ pg 10)

“You don’t make decisions about your life in a vacuum. Family, friends, classmates and your own desires all affect the choices you make. Parental expectations, peer pressure and self-image also influence the choices you make. Let’s look briefly at each of these influences.”



#7 TRuE OR FALSE The expectations your parents have for you can influence the choices you make. (True)

1.ParentalExpectations Paraphrase the following:

“While you are growing up in your family you become aware of what your parents and other family members expect from you. You may not always be consciously aware of these expectations because they become so much a part of your value system. Family expectations often have a positive influ-ence, but if parental expectations are too strict or inflexible, a young per-son might rebel.”

INSPIRE: Are your expectations for yourself different than your parents’ expectations

for you? (SJ pg 10)

#8 TRuE OR FALSE Peer pressure can lead you to do things you might otherwise not do in order to gain acceptance and approval from others. (True)

2.PeerPressure Paraphrase the following:

“Peer pressure—the need to be accepted by people in your age group—is sig-nificant at any age. Children, teens and even adults commonly do what their peers are doing. Peer pressure can lead us to do things we might otherwise not do in order to gain acceptance and approval from others. People like to believe their choices are not influenced by others, but we human beings are social in nature.”

INSPIRE: To shed light on our social natures, imagine for a moment if you were the only human being on Earth. Would you still do the things you do without the context of sharing time and space with other human beings? (SJ pg 11)

#9 TRuE OR FALSE Teens who feel good about themselves are more likely to do what their peers are doing, even if it goes against their values. (False)

3.Self-Image Paraphrase the following:

“Self-image, or how you think about yourself, is developed and reinforced by how others treat you and react to you. Self-image is also a result of your thoughts. Thinking about something positive helps build your self-image. of-ten, the way we respond to peer pressure has a lot to do with our self-image. When someone is comfortable with himself or herself, it is often easier to do the right thing. Research has shown that when teenagers have a poor self-image, they are more vulnerable to negative peer pressure and more prone to risky behavior.”

INSPIRE: Why do you think teens with lower self-image are more prone to negative peer pressure? (SJ pg 11)

Add TO IT #8: Letter of Advice (in the optional Activity Book).

Add TO IT: • In the Jar (#9 in the optional Activity Book)• Positive and Negative Peer Pressure (#10 in the optional Activity Book)

“Regardless of whether parental expectations, peer pressure, self-image, or a number of other factors influence our decisions, it is of great importance that we begin to recognize these influences and why we do what we do. In this next activity, you will look at decisions you have recently made and what influenced those decisions. over the next few lessons, you will be learning more skills that will help you not only recognize those influences but learn how to deal effectively with them.”

Enrich Why do We do What We do?

Introduce the following activity by saying:

“Using Resource 2c, make a list of ten decisions you have made and followed through with during the past year. These decisions can range from everyday decisions (‘Wake up at 7:30,’ ‘Get a haircut,’ or ‘Buy a new outfit’) to more significant decisions (‘End a relationship,’ ‘apply for a job,’ etc.). once you have your list of decisions, answer the Follow It Up questions about three of the decisions.”

(INSTRUCTOR ’S NOTE: If time permits after students have made their individual lists, stop and walk through the Follow It Up questions together.)

Add TO IT #11: Conformity (in the optional Activity Book).

“Cute is when a person’s personality shines through their looks.

Like in the way they walk, every time you see them

you just want to run up and hug them.”

—natalie Portman—


SEcTION 2.4

Values and BeliefsSection2.4ObjectiveDetermine how personal values and beliefs affect relationships.

Section2.4LessonPlanOverviewinsPire: Values and Beliefs

1. In this Section, have students complete pages 12 in the Student Journal. Watch for prompts throughout the Instructor’s Manual lesson plans.

PrePAre: What Do I Value? 2. Lead a discussion using the information found in the

PREPARE section, What Do I Value?, while completing page 12 in the Student Journal.

enrich: MyOwnValueSystem3. In order to help students think about their own value

system, have them complete Resource 2d, (My Own Value System Worksheet) and Resource 2e, (How I Rank My Values Worksheet).

4. Optional: The Me Tee (Activity Book #12)


Section2.4Materials:

in this lesson:• My Own Value System Worksheet (Resource 2d)• How I Rank My Values

Worksheet(Resource 2e)


in the student Journal:• Values and Beliefs (page 12)

in the Activity Book (optional):• The Me Tee (#12)

Section2.4Preparation:• Assessment#10: Review the


• Journal: Locate page 12 in the Student Journal. Remember, most INSPIRES are also located in the Student Journal.



“You are a unique person! Let yourself be heard!”

—leo BuScaglia—

Enrich Value Scenario

Have•students•respond•to•the•following•scenario•on•page•12•of•the•Student Journal:

“You are walking home alone through a store parking lot. You look down and find a wallet, and inside it is $1,000 cash but no credit cards, nothing to indicate the owner. There is nobody in sight. What would you do? Would your answer change if there were an Id inside the wallet? What if someone were watching?”

INSPIRE: What is the connection between decisions you make and your values? (SJ page 12)

#10 TRuE OR FALSE The things I decide to do have little or no connection to my values. (False)

Prepare What do I Value?


“Learning about values and beliefs can help you understand who you are and help you develop relationships with others. A value is something that is important to you. A belief is something that you hold to be true. Value refers to the worth or importance you assign to a certain belief, activity or event.”

INSPIRE: If your home suddenly caught on fire, what would be the one thing you would take with you? (SJ page 12)

“our actions and behaviors often express our values and goals. Similarly, our beliefs and values often determine our behaviors. People usually act in ways that are consistent with their values. For example, a person who tells lies is most likely not a person who values honesty.”

Enrich My Own Value System

To help students think about their own value system, have them complete the following two worksheets. Introduce the worksheet, My Own Value System (Resource 2d ), by saying,

“Your values determine the actions you take as well as the goals you set. Values vary from person to person. Answer the questions from the worksheet to help you start examining your own values.”

Introduce the second worksheet, How I Rank My Own Values (Resource 2e), by saying:

“To learn more about your own values, use the How I Rank My Values worksheet to help identify what values are important to you. Read each of the values and determine if they are extremely important, important or not important to you now. Then, answer the questions that follow.”

Add TO IT #12: The Me Tee (in the optional Activity Book).


SEcTION 2.5

Values and Decision-MakingSection2.5Objectives• Describe factors that influence your decisions.• Identify your personal values.• Determine how personal values and beliefs affect

relationships.

Section2.5LessonPlanOverviewinsPire: ValuesandDecision-Making

1. In this Section, have students complete page 13 in the Student Journal. Watch for prompts throughout the Instructor’s Manual lesson plans.

enrich: ValuesandDecision-Making2. Complete the Values and Decision-Making Worksheet

(Resource 2f).

PrePAre: InfluencesonYourDecisions3. Lead a discussion using the information found in the

PREPARE section, Influences on Your Decisions, while completing page 13 in the Student Journal.

4. Optional: Values and Behaviors (Activity Book #13)


Section2.5Materials:

in this lesson:• Values and Decision-Making Worksheet

(Resource 2f)


in the student Journal:• Values and Decision-Making (pg 13)

in the Activity Book (optional):• Values and Behaviors (#13)

Section2.5Preparation:• Assessment#11: Review the


• Journal: Locate pg 13 in the Student Journal. Remember, most INSPIRES are also located in the Student Journal.



“It is beauty that captures your attention,

personality which captures your heart.”

—anonymouS—

Enrich Values and decision-Making

Pass out the Values and Decision-Making Worksheet (Resource 2f). Introduce it by paraphrasing the following:

“Your values help you decide what to do and how to act. Values come into play prominently when you are making decisions. Read each situation on your worksheet and identify two values that could be influencing each person’s decision.”

#11 TRuE OR FALSE I make my own decisions, without being influenced by my family, church, or peers. (False)

Prepare Influences on decisions

INSPIRE: “Sometimes adolescents don’t behave according to their values because...” (SJ page 13)


“As you consider the many possible influences on your decisions—your cul-ture, significant others, your personality and your values—you will become more attentive and intentional in what you choose for your life. As the say-ing goes, ‘How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.’ Every decision you make determines the direction of your life. Choosing to be conscious co-creators of your life means, in part, knowing your values and making de-cisions in line with those values. If you know your values, you can also es-tablish boundaries to enforce them, freeing energy wasted on living outside your true self and instead maximizing your potential.”

INSPIRE: Think about the saying, “How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.” If your life would be defined by the way you spent your last few days, how would you feel about your life? (SJ page 13)

“When people know who they are and clearly understand what they want, they have a much better chance of discovering how to reach their own success, happiness and personal fulfillment in relationships.”

Add TO IT #13: Values and Behavior (in the optional Activity Book).



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ision

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* C

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ct a

nsw

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÷ #

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tude

nts

RESOuRcE 2a

scope Personality QuizBelow are phrases that describe people’s behavior. Please use the rating scale (1-5) below to describe how much you agree that each statement describes you. Describe yourself as you generally are now, not as you wish to be in the future. Describe yourself as you honestly see yourself. Please read each statement carefully, and then circle the number that corresponds to your reply.

1 2 3 4 5 Strongly Disagree Undecided Agree Strongly Disagree Agree

1. I am the life of the party 1 2 3 4 5

2. I prefer variety to routine 1 2 3 4 5

3. I am always prepared 1 2 3 4 5

4. I respect others 1 2 3 4 5

5. I am not easily bothered by things 1 2 3 4 5

6. I am skilled in handling social situations 1 2 3 4 5

7. I believe in the importance of art 1 2 3 4 5

8. I make plans and stick to them 1 2 3 4 5

9. I hate to seem pushy 1 2 3 4 5

10. I seldom get mad 1 2 3 4 5

11. I feel comfortable around people 1 2 3 4 5

12. I am interested in abstract ideas 1 2 3 4 5

13. I carry out my plans 1 2 3 4 5

14. I believe that others have good intentions 1 2 3 4 5

15. I rarely complain 1 2 3 4 5

16. I make friends easily 1 2 3 4 5

17. I have a vivid imagination 1 2 3 4 5

18. I seldom waste my time 1 2 3 4 5

19. I accept people as they are 1 2 3 4 5

20. I seldom feel blue 1 2 3 4 5

21. I love large parties 1 2 3 4 5

22. I enjoy philosophical discussions 1 2 3 4 5

23. I get chores done right away 1 2 3 4 5

24. I value cooperation over competition 1 2 3 4 5

25. I am comfortable in unfamiliar situations 1 2 3 4 5

26. I am always on the go 1 2 3 4 5

27. I love to think up new ways of doing things 1 2 3 4 5

28. I like order 1 2 3 4 5

29. I love to help others 1 2 3 4 5

30. I feel comfortable with myself 1 2 3 4 5

31. I don’t mind being the center of attention 1 2 3 4 5

32. I love to daydream 1 2 3 4 5

33. I try to follow the rules 1 2 3 4 5

34. I have a good word for everyone 1 2 3 4 5

35. I remain calm under pressure 1 2 3 4 5

© Copyright 2005 Life Innovations, Inc.

This page may be reproduced for educational, non-commercial uses only. Copyright © 2011 by The Dibble Institute. Published by The Dibble Institute, PO Box 7881, Berkeley, CA 94707-0881; 800-695-7975; www.DibbleInstitute.org.





ScOPE ScoringRecord your answers down in each column, not across the page. After recording your answers vertically, add them together horizontally (across the page). Then plot the totals on the graph below (example in white).

TOTAL

1. ____ 6. ____ 11. ____ 16. ____ 21. ____ 26. ____ 31. ____ = ____ (S)

2. ____ 7. ____ 12. ____ 17. ____ 22. ____ 27. ____ 32. ____ = ____ (C)

3. ____ 8. ____ 13. ____ 18. ____ 23. ____ 28. ____ 33. ____ = ____ (o)

4. ____ 9. ____ 14. ____ 19. ____ 24. ____ 29. ____ 34. ____ = ____ (P)

5. ____ 10. ____ 15. ____ 20. ____ 25. ____ 30. ____ 35. ____ = ____ (E)

ScOPE Graphing

35

30

25

20

15

10

5

0

s C O P ESee Interpretation of Scores•(Key•2a)•on•the•following•pages•for•more•information•about•the•meaning•of•the above scores.

The SCOPE Quiz that you have just taken is based on the Five-Factor Model of personality. There is a broad consensus•among•personality•theorists•that•this•model,•which•describes•five•major•“domains”•or•traits,•is•the best current description of the structure of personality. The five major dimensions, and your scores on them, are described below. Try to interpret your results on the basis of the overall pattern rather than just concentrating on one particular score.

Factor s: sOCIAL (Extraversion) This trait reflects preference for, and behavior in, social situations.

High Scorers (28 and above) are social extraverts who enjoy being with people, are full of energy, and often experience positive emotions. They tend to be enthusiastic and action-oriented. In groups they like to talk, assert themselves, and are often the center of attention. They will be outgoing, active, and high-spirited. When out-of-balance, they could appear to be attention seeking or shallow.

Average Scorers (15-27) will find social settings to be enjoyable, but they will value privacy as well. They will need to balance alone time with social activity.

Low Scorers (14 and below) tend to be more quiet and reserved. They lack the exuberance, energy, and activity levels of extraverts. They tend to be low-key, deliberate, serious, and less connected to the social world. They often prefer to be alone or with just a few close friends. Don’t confuse introversion with shyness, arrogance, or unfriendliness. While they don’t require as much stimulation and don’t seek others out, they may be quite pleasant when approached. When out of balance, they may appear reclusive or shut-off from the outside world.

Factor C: CREATIVE (Openness) This trait reflects creativity, imagination, and interest in culture.

High Scorers (28 and above) tend to be unconventional, artistic, imaginative, and open to new experiences. They are curious, open to change, and often have a broad range of interests. When out-of-balance, they may appear to be so interested in new ideas that they neglect the realities and responsibilities of everyday life.

Average Scorers (15-27) balance the old and new, are practical but also open to new ideas.

Low Scorers (14 and below) are more down-to-earth, less interested in art, and more practical in nature. They often resist change and prefer the familiar. Their attitudes are likely to be more conventional or traditional. When out of balance, they may appear rigid or closed.

Factor O: ORGAnIzED (Conscientiousness) This trait reflects how organized and persistent we are in pursuing our goals.

High Scorers (28 and above) are methodical, well-organized, and dutiful. They are persistent, reliable, and•have•high•standards.•High•scorers•are•often•quite•goal-oriented•and•will•have•a•plan•as•they•strive•to•achieve their goals. When out of balance, they can be perceived as perfectionist and boring.

kEY 2a

sCOPE Quiz Interpretation of scores





Average Scorers (15-27) are characterized by moderate levels of organization. While they can be dependable•and•goal-oriented,•they•can•also•be•flexible,•setting•aside•work•and•plans•at•times.•

Low Scorers (14 and below) are less careful, less focused, and more likely to be distracted from tasks. They are often easy-going and prefer not to make plans. When out of balance, they can sometimes appear careless or impulsive.

Factor P: PLEAsInG (Agreeableness)

This trait reflects how considerate and cooperative we are our interactions with others.

High Scorers (28 and above) are high in agreeableness and tend to be trusting, friendly, and cooperative. They value social harmony and getting along with others. They are therefore considerate, helpful, and willing to compromise their interests for others. Optimistic about people, they view others as basically honest, decent, and trustworthy. When out-of-balance, they may sacrifice their own feelings and opinions to please others. They could also appear naïve.

Average Scorers (15-27) will often be experienced as warm and cooperative but can sometimes be competitive and stubborn as well.

Low Scorers (14 and below) tend to be more aggressive and less cooperative. They often express their anger directly and may be seen as competitive and proud. They are less likely to overextend themselves for other people. When out of balance, they may appear skeptical about others, suspicious, unfriendly, or self-interested.

Factor E: EMOTIOnALITyThis trait reflects the tendency to stay relaxed and calm even when faced with stress versus those who are prone to experience negative thoughts and feelings.

High Scorers (28 and above) tend to be more relaxed, less emotional, and less prone to distress. They are likely to be emotionally stable even when confronted with stressful situations. When out of balance, they may appear unfeeling or out of touch with their emotions.

Average Scorers (15-27) will be generally calm and able to cope with stress but at times they can experience negative feelings of anxiety, depression, guilt, or anger.

Low Scorers (14 and below) are more sensitive and emotionally reactive and may be perceived as•“moody.”••They•are•more•prone•to•experience•upsetting•feelings•such•as•anxiety,•guilt,•anger,•or•depression. When out of balance, they can appear fragile, volatile, and overly sensitive.

Allow time for the students to answer the Follow It Up questions (Resource 2b) on a sheet of paper. If time permits, discuss the questions as a class, allowing students to formulate their own answers to each question. For more information about SCOPE and its use in the Couple Checkup (www.couplecheckup.com)•and•PREPARE/ENRICH•(www.prepare-enrich.com),•go•to•the•websites•that•describe•these•programs for couples.

sCOPE Quiz Interpretation of scores CONTINUED



RESOuRcE 2b

sCOPE Personality Quiz Result GuideINSTRUCTIONS: Record your quiz score below. Fill in each dimension as the instructor reviews it.

s = __________________________________________________ My S score: ______________________

soCial advantages limitations

High•• 1• 1

2 2

Average 1 1

2 2

Low• 1• 1

2 2

C = _________________________________________________ My C score: ______________________

CReatiVe advantages limitations

High•• 1• 1

2 2

Average 1 1

2 2

Low• 1• 1

2 2

O = _________________________________________________ My O score: ______________________

oRGaniZeD advantages limitations

High•• 1• 1

2 2

Average 1 1

2 2

Low• 1• 1

2 2




sCOPE Personality Quiz Result Guide CONTINUED

P = _________________________________________________ My P score: ______________________

PleasinG advantages limitations

High•• 1• 1

2 2

Average 1 1

2 2

Low• 1• 1

2 2

E = _________________________________________________ My E score: ______________________

emotionality advantages limitations

High•• 1• 1

2 2

Average 1 1

2 2

Low• 1• 1

2 2

FOLLOW IT uP: On a sheet of paper, record the answers to the following questions.

1. How do your personality tendencies positively impact your relationships……with family?…with friends?… with others?

2. How do your personality tendencies negatively impact your relationships…… with family?… with friends?… with others?

3. Do any areas of your personality feel out-of-balance? 4. Do you choose friends with similar or different personality traits? 5. How have your personality traits been strengths for you in your relationships? 6. How have they created problems? 7. Do the roles you fulfill in your relationships match your personality strengths? (For example, if you are very orga-

nized, are you often the person who plans?) 8. After scoring your quiz, do you feel it displayed an accurate reading of your personality?9. Do you gravitate toward relationships with friends with personality traits that are similar to yours, different from, or

a combination of both?10. Name two positive tendencies and two negative tendencies for scoring high and low on each of the five traits.


RESOuRcE 2c

Why Do We Do What We Do?List•ten•decisions•you•have•made•and•followed•through•with•in•the•past•year.••These•decisions•can•range•from•mundane,•everyday•decisions•(“•Wake•up•at•7:30,”•“Get•a•haircut,”•“Buy•a•new•outfit”)•to•more•significant•decisons•(“End•a•relationship,”•“Apply•for•a•job,”•etc.).••

1. ...................................................................................................................................................................

2. ...................................................................................................................................................................

3. ...................................................................................................................................................................

4. ...................................................................................................................................................................

5. ...................................................................................................................................................................

6. ...................................................................................................................................................................

7. ...................................................................................................................................................................

8. ...................................................................................................................................................................

9. ...................................................................................................................................................................

10. ..................................................................................................................................................................

When you have your list of decisions, answer these questions about three of the decisions:

DECISION 1 DECISION 2 DECISION 3

Who•influenced•this•decision?

Who noticed (or was affected by) this decision?

Would I make this decision again?

Did this decision affect the way I think or feel about myself?

Would I have made this decision if I knew no one would notice?

Would I have made this decision if I were the only human being on Earth?

Does•this•decision•reflect•my•values?



RESOuRcE 2d

My Own Value systemINSTRUCTIONS: Your values determine the actions you take, as well as the goals you set. Values vary from person to person. Answer the questions below to help you start examining your own values. Complete the following sentences;

* If my home suddenly caught on fire, three things I would want to take with me are:

1. .................................................. 2. .......................................................... 3. ........................................................................

* If I had 24 hours left to live, I would ...................................................................................................................................

* The characteristic I would most like to develop is ...........................................................................................................

* If I were a millionaire, I would ...............................................................................................................................................

* If I were granted three wishes, they would be: 1. ............................................................................................................

2. ....................................................................................... 3. .....................................................................................................

* The one trait I look for in a friend is ...................................................................................................................................

* The number one trait I look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend is ...........................................................................................

* In my free time, you will find me ..........................................................................................................................................

* On my next vacation, I will .....................................................................................................................................................

* As an American, I am thankful that.......................................................................................................................................

List 10 things you spend your time doing (activities). 1. .........................................................................................................................................................2. ........................................................................................................................................................3. . ......................................................................................................................................................4. . ......................................................................................................................................................5. .......................................................................................................................................................6. ......................................................................................................................................................7. ........................................................................................................................................................8. . ......................................................................................................................................................9. .......................................................................................................................................................10. .....................................................................................................................................................


RESOuRcE 2e

How I Rank My Own Values INSTRUCTIONS: Read the following list of values. In the first column put an E if this value is extremely important to you, an I if it is important to you, or an N if it is not important to you. Also, put•a•check•in•each•column•of•those•people•who•have•influenced•this•value•in•your•life.••Then,•continue with the instructions on the next page.

VALUE E, I, OR N FAMILy FRIENDS OTHER

Wisdom

Wealth

Religious beliefs

Physical appearance

Honesty

Popularity

Friendship

Affection

Fame

Status

Loyalty

Education

Reputation

Security

Purity

Traditions

Service

Truth

Freedom

Family

Forgiveness

Happiness

Trustworthiness

Intelligence



RESOuRcE 2e

How I Rank My Own Values INSTRUCTIONS: From the list of values you just ranked on the previous page, select the ten that are most valuable to you. If something you value is not on the list, you may add it.

1 .................................................................. 6 ..........................................................................

2 .................................................................. 7. ..........................................................................

3 .................................................................. 8. ..........................................................................

4 .................................................................. 9. ..........................................................................

5 .................................................................. 10. ........................................................................

Now•imagine•that•you•are•only•permitted•to•have•five•values.••List•the•five•you•would•give•up.

1...................................................................... 4. ...............................................................................

2...................................................................... 5. ...............................................................................

3......................................................................

Now•imagine•that•you•are•only•permitted•three.•List•the•two•you•would•give•up.

1...................................................................... 2. ...............................................................................

Finally, imagine that you are only permitted one. Which one would you give up?

.............................................................................................................................................................

What does that leave as your #1 value?

My #1 value: ..................................................................................................................................

Look•back•over•My Own Value System on page 53. How•do•your•top•five•values•listed•above•match up with how you spend your time?

.............................................................................................................................................................

Look•back•at•the•sentences•you•completed•on•page•53•and•identify•the•different•values•that•are•represented.••List•them•here.••

.............................................................................................................................................................

.............................................................................................................................................................How•did•they•correspond•to•your•top•five•values?

Do you need to re-evaluate your values or how you spend your time? Explain.

RESOuRcE 2f

Values and Decision-making WorksheetYour values help you decide what to do and how to act. Values particularly come into play when you are making decisions. Read each situation below and identify two values that could be•influencing•each•person’s•decision.

1. No one saw Chuck pick up the $100 bill he found this morning in the school parking lot. On his way to homeroom, he stopped by the office to turn it in.

Value: ..................................................................................................

Value: ..................................................................................................

2. Renee and her friends go out to eat almost every Friday night. Most of the group orders french fries and•hamburgers.•However,•Renee•opts•for•a•grilled•cheese•sandwich•or•a•salad.

Value: ...........................................................................................................................................................

Value: ...........................................................................................................................................................

3. Gwen is a competitive gymnast. She spends most of her free time practicing at the gym. Although all of Gwen’s friends have been dating for over a year, she is still not interested. She wants to focus on gymnastics, and is hoping to get a scholarship to college.

Value: ...........................................................................................................................................................

Value: ...........................................................................................................................................................

4. Daniel has been invited to a party Friday night. Most of the teens who will be there are known for partying. Daniel knows he shouldn’t go, but he is tired of feeling unpopular. This party would give him a chance to meet new friends even if they may not share his beliefs.

Value: ...........................................................................................................................................................

Value: ...........................................................................................................................................................

5. Mark was excited when he found out his lab partner was Mia, the hottest girl in school. After a few weeks she starts hinting that they should hook up sometime. Mark is more interested in a real relationship,•though.•He•asks•her•on•a•date•and•plans•to•treat•her•with•respect.

Value: ...........................................................................................................................................................

Value: ...........................................................................................................................................................



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ACTIVITY CARD 2.1 Would You Rather?


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feet

.

Wo

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som

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e w

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is f

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ny

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som

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is s

mar

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Mov

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the

left

for

funn

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d ri

ght

for

smar

t.

Wo

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the

left

for

no e

lect

rici

ty a

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righ

t fo

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run

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wat

er.

Wo

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us

and

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tale

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fam

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the

left

for

unta

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Wo

uld

yo

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ave

the

abili

ty t

o b

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visi

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to r

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p

eop

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the

left

for

invi

sibl

e an

d ri

ght

for

min

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g.

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uld

yo

u r

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ry

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IQ

or

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e to

the

left

for

low

IQ a

nd r

ight

fo

r no

frie

nds.

Wo

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yo

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at a

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rm

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Mov

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the

left

for

wor

m

and

righ

t fo

r be

etle

.

Wo

uld

yo

u r

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pea

k o

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n w

ord

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to

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Mov

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the

left

for

ten

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nd

righ

t fo

r no

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le t

o ta

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Wo

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Mov

e to

the

left

for

anno

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voi

ce

and

righ

t fo

r ba

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ir.



Wo

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e th

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p

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for

five

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left

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lar

and

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eat

frie

nds.

Wo

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do

g o

r a

cat?

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the

left

for

dog

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righ

t fo

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Wo

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ou

love

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er

love

at

all?

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e to

the

left

for

love

and

lose

and

ri

ght

for

neve

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ve.

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ave

a th

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g o

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thir

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the

left

for

a th

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m.

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tru

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ve

or

$10

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?

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the

left

for

love

and

ri

ght

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mon

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fo

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the

left

for

no fo

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nd r

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fo

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dri

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a 10

0+

frie

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are

OK

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hav

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ree

frie

nd

s w

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are

gre

at?

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the

left

for

100

frie

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and

righ

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ree

frie

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cell

ph

on

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usi

c?

Mov

e to

the

left

for

no p

hone

and

ri

ght

for

no m

usic

.

Wo

uld

yo

u r

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e o

n a

w

inn

ing

team

th

at c

hea

ts o

r a

losi

ng

team

th

at h

on

ors

th

e ga

me?

Mov

e to

the

left

for

win

ning

tea

m a

nd

righ

t fo

r lo

sing

tea

m.



2

Section 1: Relationships and You

Lesson One: Relationships and You

Lesson Two: Knowing Yourself

Section 2: Dating, Marriage and Family

Lesson Three: Friendship, Love, and Intimacy

Lesson Four: Navigating The World of Dating

Lesson Five: All in the Family

Lesson Six: Before You Say “I Do!”

Section 3: Skills To Help Improve Relationships

Lesson Seven: Communication in Relationships

Lesson Eight: Improving Communication in Relationships

Lesson Nine: Conflict in Relationships

Lesson Ten: Healthy Relationships: From Dreams to Reality

PREPARE-ENRICH-INSPIRE for Teens

Copyright © 2011 by The Dibble Institute. Berkeley, CA 94707. All Rights Reserved.

Sample Lesson

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• 10 Core Lesson Plans

• Resource CD

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• Activity Cards

• PowerPoint Presentation

• Lesson Assessments

• 1 Student Journal

10 Student Journals $85

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Quantity discounts are available.

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Optional Activity Book

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• Skill Sets #1: Teen Relationships & Romance

Prepare-Enrich-Inspire for Teens

PREPARE-ENRICH-INSPIRE for Teens

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