you love your family - but sometimes it’s hard to work with them! copyright:

YOU LOVE YOUR

FAMILY - BUT SOMETIMES IT’S

HARD TO WORK WITH THEM!

Copyright: www.valerieredman.com

Ownership

BusinessFamily

From Davis and Taguiri

FB

FO BO

FBO

Family Business: the Three Circle Model

FBO – family members who work in the business and own shares in itFB – family members who work in the business, but don’t own a share in itFO – family members who own shares in the business, but don’t work in itBO – non-family employees who own shares in the business

Copyright: please “copy it right” and add to my webpage and let me know that you have used it www.valerieredman.com

1. We’ve never done it that way

2. It won’t work here

3. We’ve tried it before

4. There isn’t enough money

5. I won’t be allowed to do that

6. Too expensive

7. We’re not ready for it yet

8. Good idea, in practice it’s different

9. I’m a great ideas person but….

10. I’m not capable of doing the job

11. Too complicated, no-one

understands

12. My family won’t allow it

13. No-one else is doing this

14. Too much research needed

15. My ideas are always too early

16. Someone else is doing it

Sayings Valerie has heard and collected in Family Businesses

17. It’s not clear enough

18. I’m sure there are better ways than

that

19. The husband won’t like it

20. The wife won’t like it

21. The parents won’t like it

22. The family won’t like it

23. The competition won’t like it

24. It goes against the rules

25. It’s against my religion

26. We haven’t considered it sufficiently

27. If it was that good someone would

already be doing it

17. Let’s not step on their toes

18. Outside the box

19. Outdated

20. I haven’t time to look into it now

21. You don’t understand the full picture

22. Why start anything now

34. We’re too old for that

35. You’re too young

36. It won’t be used

37. We have too much on now

38. We need to think this through carefully

39. Has anyone else tried it?

40. I can’t see how it could work

41. If it’s not broken don’t fix it

42. We just don’t do that sort of thing

43. What idiot thought that up?

44. I just know it won’t work

45. We must be practical

46. It needs more study

47. I’ll think it over for a bit

48. It’s not really my problem

49. We don’t really need to do it now

50. I’ll shelve it for the time being

I can’t accept the way you did this job.

If you actually did what you said…….

You fail to see what I mean

You misinterpreted my intention

You neglected to get the information I asked you to get

You were wrong in thinking that

You did do this right…..but


ANGER EXPLOSIONS – letting off steam – but hurting others

OVERWORKING – risks your wellbeing, family and others

OVER-CONTROLLING – rigid mastery over things and people

DOMINATING OTHERS – especially family members in the workplace

TAKING ON OTHERS’ BURDENS – leads to being a martyr and making others dependant

MAKING MOUNTAINS OUT OF MOLEHILLS - Creates unnecessary distress to you and others

DEFENSIVENESS – lash-out reactions (stems from feeling insecure)

FOOLISH RISK TAKING – push things beyond reasonable limits, risk – threaten life, limb,

business and/or finance

AGGRESSION – abuse of others verbal, mental or physical

ANGER-PASSION – comes out indirectly and often dishonestly through putdowns and sabotage

Copyright: please “copy it right” and add to my webpage and let me know that you have used it www.valerieredman.com.

Condescending

Aloof

Secretive

Evasive

Eager

Relentless

Annoying

Caring

Approachable

Sharing

Engaged

Eased

Relaxed

Appealing


Discomfort

Incident

Misunderstanding

Tension

CRISIS

X

X

X

X


PastFuture

Stuck

Build on- challenging experiences

Project- what you would like to happen!


Here and now

“in” the present

Copyright: please “copy it right” and add to my webpage and let me know that you have used it www.valerieredman.com.

Ask a Question

Use humour

Ask them to

positively rephrase

Reframe hostile

remarks

Fly the white flag

Change tack

Let some hostile

remarks pass

“Please tell me

what you heard me

say”

Can it be dealt with

privately?

Speak calmly

Agree to discuss

later

Call time-out

Restate what you believe

you heard and

check

Breathe and stay with the

issue

Easy ways Valerie finds useful

YOU LOVE YOUR

FAMILY - BUT SOMETIMES IT’S

HARD TO WORK WITH THEM!


you love your family - but sometimes it’s hard to work with them! copyright:

Documents

family wont

wont work

dont work

family businesses

business slide

husband wont

wife wont

competition wont