xscape negotiation training
DESCRIPTION
Presentation for a health care executive retreat for women on negotiation for womenTRANSCRIPT
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Xscape Negotiation Training
Victoria Pynchon, J.D., LL.MADR Services, Inc. , Century City, California
and She Negotiates Consulting and Training on the Web
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wake up!
The Northridge earthquake occurred on January 17, 1994 at 4:31 AM Pacific Standard Time in Reseda, a neighborhood in the city of Los Angeles, California, lasting for about 45 seconds. The earthquake had a "strong" moment magnitude of 6.7, but the ground acceleration was one of the highest ever instrumentally recorded in an urban area in North America.
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Negotiation is a conversation
leading to agreement
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in a mixed motive exchange
Compete for scarce resources
Collaborate for mutual gain
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Negotiate this . . .
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Negotiate these . . .
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Do you want some coffee?
Only if you’re
having someWell, do you want some?
Do you?
Well, I’m going to
make some Great! I’ll have some too!
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• Let’s have lunch or coffee . . . • Small talk . . . • How’s business?• Me too . . . . • I was hoping we might be able to do business
together . . . . • Here’s what I bring to the table• I thought it might benefit you to have . . . • My rate is $_____ (MORE THAN YOU WANT)
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Could we talk
about this
later?
I appreciate it but it was not
what I was expecting
We must not be on the same
page
My product is worth . . . .
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Responses to Conflict
• Suppression• Avoidance• Resolution• Transformation• Transcendence
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Dispute Resolution Tactics
• Yielding/Ingratiation• Shaming• Persuasive
argumentation• Promises of future action• Threats of future action• Physical force
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recognize the opportunity to
negotiate
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Women tend to value relationship more than money
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tit for tat
S is for Shakedown Artist copyright 2010 Reason Press
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The Prisoners’ Dilemma
• If u both play ur Y card, u each earn 2 points. • If u both play ur X card, u each earn 3 points.• If u play ur X card & ur partner plays her Y
card, u earn 0 & ur partner earns 5 points. • If u play Y card & ur partner plays her X card, u
earn 5 points & ur partner earns 0• Begin play by holding ur card of choice up to
ur chest.
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We measure our work by what we need
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We compare our income to our women friends’
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often leading us to value ourselves less than male peers
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We over-deliver to our clients and superiors
and under-deliver to ourselves
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We work 22%
longer and 10% faster for the same reward
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we can close the gap NOW
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monkey economy
50 million years
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ANCHORINGANCHORING
When we set our value in the market When we set our value in the market we set our own future value; we set we set our own future value; we set our women colleagueour women colleague’’s value and we s value and we set the value for our children and set the value for our children and childrenchildren’’s childrens children
Image credit istockphoto.com 2010
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Recalibrate our Market value
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Sk for it
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we all have universal tendencies of thought called cognitive biases
universal ways of thinking about what motivates other people
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But we never learned to read one another’s
minds
Suspicion followedP is for Paranoid copyright 2010 Reason Press
We needed to cooperate to
survive
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What do we most want to know
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What the HECK are they THINKING?
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and will it be harmfulto me?
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Will they cooperate
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or attack ?
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How can I make them do what I
want them to do?
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we read signs and symbols
in an effort to control our own destiny
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and make common cognitive errors
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We see patterns
where none exist
Clustering Illusion
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we discount everything our
bargaining partners say
reactive devaluation
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confirmation bias
we search for and interpret information in a way that confirms our preconceptions
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Cognitive Biases Prevent us from learning Other’s mind
• what do they want/need• what do they have of value• how do they value it
• why do they want what they are seeking
Prevent us from accurately assessing •perils
•opportunities
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Getting what you want
Copyright 2010 Reason Press
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Negotiate from Strength
You are as strong as you
believe yourself to be
L is for Lawyer copyright 2010 Reason Press
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how can we reach mutually beneficial and durable agreements?
By ascertaining their interests, preferences, priorities, needs, desires, constraints, strengths, and weaknesses
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Z is for Zen Master copyright 2010 Reason Press
Collaborative Problem Solving
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C is for Coward copyright 2010 Reason Press
Ask Diagnostic Questions
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• What are my intended outcomes and interests?– Preferences, priorities,
needs, desires, fears, aspirations, bottom line
• What are their possible interests and outcomes?– Put yourself in their shoes
• What are the options?– Potential points of
agreement– Differences that might be
dove-tailed
Q is for Questioner copyright 2010 Reason Press
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T is for Them and Us copyright 2010 Reason Press
• Compatibility (issues not in conflict)
• logrolling, or trading off concessions on low-priority issues for gains on higher priority issues
• trading differential time preferences– Allocating more initial outcomes to
the more impatient party – Allocating greater profits over a
longer period to the more patient party
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• adding issues not inherent in the initial negotiation framework– Bonuses– Flex-time– Best associates
• contingent contracts– If I bring in $X this year,
I’ll receive Y% of it
T is for Them and Us copyright 2010 Reason Press
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FramingFraming
• Present Losses as Gains
•Strong tendency to prefer avoiding losses over acquiring gains
• a service business’ most important assets go down the elevator every night and you have to give them a good reason to come back
• the cost of replacing you
• competitor’s deal would be a loss because – they’re not as nimble, creative, resourceful . . .
• Frame your proposal in your favor
• state your qualities as what your client needs
• state your settlement proposal as what your opponent’s client needs
• state your deal terms as what your negotiation partner prefers, prioritizes, needs, and desires
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•Make contingent concessions, i.e., if you’ll raise your offer to $150K, I’ll lower my demand to $200,000K
•Creates appearance of concession•Almost risk free
•Label concessions & demand reciprocity• Stress difficulty in making concession
•This will cut our profit razor thin•If I make this concession, you should be willing to promise me partnership next year
Concessions & Reciprocity
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Distributive Bargaining• The process by which the parties
distribute between themselves what they believe to be a fixed “pie” of money, goods or services
• A Zero Sum exchange in which whatever one side gains, the other side loses
• Parties move toward resolution through a series of concessions
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Image credit istockphoto.com 2010
• High initial demands• Maintain them throughout• make few (and small) concessions • adhere to a high level of aspiration• obtain as much information as
possible• give away little• bluff• mislead • threaten retaliatory action if the
other side does not comply.
Competitive Competitive BargainingBargaining
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Difficult people
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Behind every accusation is a cry for help
D is for Drama Queen copyright 2010 Reason Press
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• They’re not difficult, they are uninformed– Educate them about
their true interests, consequences of their actions
– Help them understand what is in their best interest
– May have misunderstood or ignored a crucial piece of information
I is for Idiot copyright 2010 Reason Press
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They’re not evil; they have hidden interests– Personal (unrelated
to you or deal)– Relational (related to
you but not to the deal, i.e., “face”)
– Political, social, cultural
O Is for Outlaw copyright 2010 Reason Press
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They are not irrational; they have hidden constraints– Institutional– Precedential– Promises to others– Deadlines
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• People err in one direction or the other by:– Prioritizing the
relationship & saying “yes” when you want/need to say “no” or
– Prioritizing their own power by brusquely saying “no” or
– Take middle ground of avoidance saying nothing & hoping a problem won’t arise
F is for Friend copyright 2010 Reason Press
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Practice practice practice
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• Negotiate retail• Ask for something
– You know they’ll say no to– You know they’ll say yes to
• Collect a dozen “no’s” in the next two weeks
• Set your price 2x higher than normal
• Have a difficult conversation asking diagnostic questions
• Teach your children• Teach your spouse• Make a game out of it
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K is for Kin copyright 2010 Reason Press
You can have it all
Just not at the same time