Writing Assignment

“My Expectations of Parenthood”

Write a one page paper with the above title.

Turn into me when you are finished.

Discussion How did you feel when subjected to

constant crying?

What frustrations did you have?

How do you react to crying children?

My Papa's Waltz by Theodore Roethke

The whiskey on your breath Could make a small boy dizzy; But I hung on like death: Such waltzing was not easy.

We romped until the pans Slid from the kitchen shelf; My mother's countenance Could not unfrown itself.

The hand that held my wrist Was battered on one knuckle; At every step you missed My right ear scraped a buckle.

You beat time on my head With a palm caked hard by dirt, Then waltzed me off to bed Still clinging to your shirt.

Is this child abuse?

A girl is slapped for screaming at her mother; the slap stings, but leaves no lasting mark or pain.

A boy is punished in a way thatrequires stitches.

1. A father burns his daughter’s palms with a lighted cigarette when he finds her smoking.

A mother is carelessand spills scaldingcoffee on herdaughter, who isseriously burned.

A boy’s arm is broken after wrestling with his father for sport.

A girl is spanked so hard she is badly bruised, but the father says he didnot mean to hurt her.

A boy is grounded for a week for a minor offense.

A father takes away his son’s driver’slicense for getting a parking ticket.

Discussion

Is there a difference between child abuse and discipline?

Where do we draw the line?

Define Child Abuse. What do you consider

child abuse?

The Facts: Each day in the United States, more than

3 children die as a result of child abuse in the home.

More children (age four & younger) die from child abuse and neglect than any other single, leading cause of death for infants and young children.

Most of the children who die are younger than SIX years of age.

In 2000, more than 17,000 Utah children were reported to Child Protective Services as alleged victims of child maltreatment.

About 8,500 of those cases were substantiated.

Child abuse knows no boundaries. It happens in every class, race, ethnic,

educational, and economic group. No family is immune.

Physical Abuse

• non-accidental injury of a child that leaves marks, scars, bruises, or broken

bones.

Physical indicators:

Unexplained bruises

Burns Human bites Broken bones Missing hair Scratches

Behavioral indicators of physical abuse:

Wary of physical contact with adults Behavioral extremes

(aggressive or withdrawn) Frightened of parents

afraid to go home Cheating Stealing Lying

a sign that expectations in the home are too high Layered clothing

Emotional Abuse

– parental behavior, such as rejecting, terrorizing, berating, ignoring, or isolating a child, that causes, or is likely to cause, serious impairment of the physical, social, mental, or emotional capacities of the child.

Physical indicators of emotional abuse:

Speech disorders

Lags in physical development

Failure to thrive

Behavioral indicators of emotional abuse:

Habit disorders sucking, biting, rocking

Conduct disorders withdrawal, destructiveness, cruelty

Sleep disorders or inhibition of play

Behavior extremes aggressive or passive

Neglect

– failure of parents or caretakers to provide needed, age appropriate care including food, clothing, shelter, protection from harm, and supervision appropriate to the child’s development, hygiene, and medical care.

Physical indicators of neglect:

Constant hunger

Excessive sleepiness

Poor hygiene

Lack of appropriate supervision

Unattended physical problems or medical needs

Abandonment

Inappropriate clothing for weather conditions

Behavioral indicators of neglect:

Begging for or stealing food

Frequent sleepiness

Lack of appropriate supervision

Sexual Abuse

Any inappropriate sexual exposure or touch by an adult to a child or an older child to a younger child.

This includes, but is not limited to: fondling, sexual intercourse, sexual assault, rape, date rape, incest, child prostitution, exposure, and pornography.

Physical indicators of sexual abuse:

difficulty in walking or sitting, torn, stained, or bloody underclothing, pain or itching in

genital area, bruises or bleeding in rectal/genital area, venereal disease.

Behavioral indicators of sexual abuse: Age-inappropriate sexual knowledge/sexual touch

Abrupt change in personality Withdrawn

Poor peer relationships

Unwilling to change for gym or participate in physical activities

Promiscuous behavior/seductive behavior

Drop in school performance/decline in school interest

Sleep disturbances, regressive behavior Bed wetting

Sexual Assault of Children

Convicted rape & sexual assault offenders serving time in state prisons report that two-thirds of their victims were under the age of 18.

By age 18, one of every four girls and one of every six boys has been sexually abused.

It is estimated that 100,000-500,000 children are sexually abused each year.

Among rape victims less than 12 years of age…

90% of the children knew the offender according to police-recorded incident data.

Frequently, the person who sexually molests a child was also molested as a child.

Eighty-five percent of sexual assaults on children are committed by someone the child knows and usually trusts.

SPILLED MILKYou are sitting around a dinner table and two year old Johnny is present. Johnny’s mother gives the boy a

tall glass of milk. Before dinner has even begun, Johnny reaches for the glass of milk and sends it tumbling over. Mommy patiently wipes it up and

returns with another glass of milk.Dinner begins and Johnny is still thirsty. Again, he

reaches for his glass of milk and as he brings it to his mouth it spills all down the front of him. Mommy wipes up the milk and cleans up Johnny. Again Mommy fills

the glass of milk and returns to her own plate.Only seconds after Mommy has been seated, Johnny

reaches for a roll and the glass of milk topples and spills. Mommy cleans it up and fills the glass again.

• Just then Johnny decides he does not like squash and with a disgusted grunt he pushes his plate away, bumping the glass over one more time, spilling it all over the table and getting others wet this time. Mommy is embarrassed and apologizes to those present, then wipes up the mess and fills Johnny’s glass.

• Johnny is getting tired and decides he does not want milk to drink but soda pop instead. When Mommy informs him that he will have to finish his dinner and his milk before getting soda pop, Johnny gets angry and throws the glass of milk on the floor, splashing milk all over everyone and everything.

• At what point in the story would you have become angered?

• If you were a parent, at what point in the story would you have become angered?

• What would you have done in this situation?

Influence of Substance Abuse

Nearly one-half of substantiated cases of child neglect & abuse are associated with parental alcohol or drug abuse.

It is estimated that one in every four children in the United States (28 million) are living in a household with an alcoholic adult.

Men & women serving time in the nation’s prisons & jails report a higher incidence of abuse as children that the general populations.

Three major components of child abuse

Child

+

Care Giver

+

Stress

=

Child Abuse

STRESSORS ASSOCIATED WITH THE CHILD

An unwanted child

A child that is different

Handicapped

A crying, irritable child

A hyperactive child

A child that reminds the parent of someone they do not like

A low birth-weight child

STRESSORS ASSOCIATED WITH THE PARENT:

Abused as a child

Single parent

Spouse is gone much of the time

Isolation

Spouse uninvolved and critical

Emotional immaturity

Divorce

Alcohol or other drugs.

Low self-esteem

Postpartum depression

Unrealistic expectations

Stress of unemployment

Financial stress

Other stresses of any kind.

Mental illness

PreventionPrevention

Never discipline your child when your Never discipline your child when your anger is out of control. anger is out of control.

Participate in your child’s activities and Participate in your child’s activities and get to know your child’s friends. get to know your child’s friends.

Never leave your child unattended, Never leave your child unattended, especially in the car. especially in the car.

Teach your child the difference Teach your child the difference between “good touches,” “bad between “good touches,” “bad touches” and “confusing touches.” touches” and “confusing touches.”

When your child tells you he When your child tells you he or she doesn’t want to be or she doesn’t want to be with someone, this could be with someone, this could be a red flag. Listen to them a red flag. Listen to them and believe what they say.and believe what they say.

Be aware of changes in your Be aware of changes in your child’s behavior or attitude, and child’s behavior or attitude, and inquire into it.inquire into it.

Teach your child what to do if Teach your child what to do if you and your child become you and your child become separated while away from separated while away from home.home.

Teach your child the correct Teach your child the correct names of his/her private body names of his/her private body parts.parts.

Be alert for any talk that reveals Be alert for any talk that reveals premature sexual understanding.premature sexual understanding.

Pay attention when someone shows Pay attention when someone shows greater than normal interest in your child.greater than normal interest in your child.

Make certain your child’s school or day Make certain your child’s school or day care center will release him/her only to care center will release him/her only to you or someone you officially designate.you or someone you officially designate.

Reporting of Abuse

• Approximately 3 million reports of possible maltreatment are made to child protective service agencies each year. In calendar year 2000, these referrals concerned the welfare of approximately 5 million children.

• The actual incidence of abuse and neglect is estimated to the three times greater than the number reported to authorities.

• Child abuse is reported – on average – every 10 seconds.

• An estimated 879,000 victims of maltreatment were substantiated after investigation by child protective service agencies in 2000.

• Nine in 10 Americans polled regard child abuse as a serious problem, yet only 1 in 3 reported abuse when confronted with an actual situation.

In the State of Illinois

• 27, 626 child abuse reports were verified in 2003.

• 5,074 were taken into protective custody

• 2, 782 were sex crimes

• 142 died

(Info. Taken from the Department of Children and Family Services Division of Monitoring and Quality Assurance)

What to do.What to do.

Be open and understanding. Be open and understanding.

Don’t try to conduct an investigation, Don’t try to conduct an investigation, yourself. yourself.

If the child tells you of If the child tells you of the sexual abuse the sexual abuse immediately after it immediately after it occurred, DO NOT occurred, DO NOT bathe the child, or wash bathe the child, or wash or change his or her or change his or her clothes. clothes.

Let the child talk as much as he or she Let the child talk as much as he or she wishes. wishes.

Understand that the child is probably Understand that the child is probably having mixed feelings. having mixed feelings.

Believe the child.Believe the child.

Explain what you will do next to help Explain what you will do next to help them.them.

Reporting the abuseReporting the abuse

EVERYONE HAS A LEGAL OBLIGATION EVERYONE HAS A LEGAL OBLIGATION TO REPORT SUSPICION OR TO REPORT SUSPICION OR KNOWLEDGE OF CHLD ABUSE!!!!KNOWLEDGE OF CHLD ABUSE!!!!

If you suspect that a child is being abused or neglected, you should call your local Child Protective Services (CPS) agency or the CPS agency in Illinois listed below. Here is the toll free number to call in Illinois:

Illinois (IL)(800) 252-2873

Childhelp® USA National Child Abuse Hotline1-800-4-A-CHILD®(1-800-422-4453)TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD