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MeredithRayner,PhDBallaratandQueen’sAnglicanGrammarSchool

LouiseL.Hayes,PhDTheUniversityofMelbourne,CentreforYouthMentalHealth&Orygen-TheNational

CentreforExcellenceinYouthMentalHealth

JosephCiarrochi,PhDInstituteofPositivePsychologyandEducation,AustralianCatholicUniversity

2017

WriteyourownDNA

Agroupprogramtohelpyoungpeoplelivewithvitalityandstrength

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Acknowledgements&Copyright

ThisprogramusestheDNA-vmodelforyouthdevelopmentfromtheresourceTheThrivingAdolescentbyLouiseHayesandJosephCiarrochi.

Hayes,L.L.&Ciarrochi,J.,(2015).Thethrivingadolescent:Usingacceptanceandcommitment

therapyandpositivepsychologytohelpteensmanageemotions,achievegoalsandbuildconnection.OaklandCA;NewHarbinger

DNA-viscopyrighted.Itcannotbeusedinaproprietarywaywithoutpermissionfromtheauthors.

Thisprotocolcanbeusedfreely.Itmaynotbereproduced,soldorusedinaproprietarywaywithoutpermission.

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SESSIONOUTLINE

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS&COPYRIGHT...........................................................................................................2

ABOUTTHEPROGRAM..................................................................................................................................4

RECOMMENDEDREADINGS.......................................................................................................................................5

SESSION1–WHAT’STHISPROGRAMABOUT................................................................................................6

BEINGYOURSELF.....................................................................................................................................................7USINGSOCIALDNA-VTOFORMTHEGROUP................................................................................................................8THECHALLENGEOFCHOOSING..................................................................................................................................8USINGSOCIALDNA-VFORGROUPFORMATIONPART2...............................................................................................11

SESSION2-THENOTICER............................................................................................................................13

STEP1-NORMALISINGTHENOTICER.......................................................................................................................13STEP2-PRACTICEATAWARENESS,NAMINGANDDESCRIBINGNOTICERSENSATIONS..........................................................15STEP3-ALLOWORRESPONDTONOTICERSIGNALS.....................................................................................................16

SESSION3–THEADVISER............................................................................................................................20

STEP1INTRODUCINGTHENORMALITYOFTHEADVISOR................................................................................................21STEP2APPRECIATETHEHELPFULNESSOFOURADVISOR...............................................................................................22STEP3GAMESTOUNHOOKFROMTHEADVISOR.........................................................................................................24STEP4CREATEHELPFULRULESONTHEUSEOFTHEADVISOR.........................................................................................26

SESSION4-DISCOVERER............................................................................................................................30

WHATISADOLESCENCEFOR?..................................................................................................................................31MEETYOURDISCOVERER........................................................................................................................................31BUILDINGSTRENGTHS............................................................................................................................................33TRYIT,TRACKIT,BUILDIT.......................................................................................................................................34DNA-VINACTION.................................................................................................................................................35

SESSION5-VALUES.....................................................................................................................................39

SMALLTHINGSMATTER..........................................................................................................................................39INTRODUCEVALUES..............................................................................................................................................40STRENGTHSFORVALUEISSUCCESS...........................................................................................................................41

SESSION6–SELF-VIEWANDTHESIXWAYSOFWELLBEING.........................................................................46

WHOAREYOU?...................................................................................................................................................46MAKINGOURSELF................................................................................................................................................486WAYSTOWELLBEING...........................................................................................................................................49SOCIALDNA-V.....................................................................................................................................................50CLOSURE.............................................................................................................................................................51

REFERENCES................................................................................................................................................52

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Abouttheprogram

Thisisagroupprotocolthatcanbeusedforgroupsofadolescentsinschools,communitysettings,orgrouptherapyprograms.

TheaimofthisgroupprogramistousetheDNA-vprogramtohelpyoungpeopledeveloppsychologicalflexibility,whichistheabilitytodowhattheycareabouteveniftheyhavedifficultthoughtsandfeelings.

FacilitatorsneedasoundunderstandingofDNA-v,shouldbefamiliarwithworkingwithadolescents,andhaveexperienceingroupfacilitation.Forfurthertrainingandreadingseewww.thrivingadolescent.com.ItisrecommendedthatfacilitatorsreadtheliteratureonDNA-vandperhapsattendeitherfacetofaceoronlinetraining(seewww.thrivingadolescent.comorwww.louisehayes.com.au).

ItalsohelpstobefamiliarwiththeliteratureandtheAssociationforContextualBehavioralScience(www.contextualpsychology.org).

©DNA-V(Hayes,L.L.&Ciarrochi,J.C)

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Recommendedreadings

Books-

Hayes,L.L.&Ciarrochi,J.,(2015).Thethrivingadolescent:Usingacceptanceandcommitmenttherapyandpositivepsychologytohelpteensmanageemotions,achievegoalsandbuildconnection.OaklandCA;NewHarbinger

Ciarrochi,J.Hayes,L.&Bailey,A.(2012).Getoutofyourmindandintoyourlifeforteens.OaklandCA:NewHarbinger.(ForewordbyS.C.Hayes)

Downloads-

Ciarrochi,J.,Atkins,P.W.B.,Hayes,L.L.,Sahdra,B.K.,&Parker,P.(2016).ContextualPositivePsychology:PolicyRecommendationsforImplementingPositivePsychologyintoSchools.FrontiersinPsychology,7(1561).doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01561Availablefordownloadat-http://journal.frontiersin.org/article/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01561/full

Hayes,L.L.&Ciarrochi,J.,(2016).TipsheetsforDNA-vwithkids–Learningthebasics.Availablefordownloadat-http://thrivingadolescent.com/kids-resources/dna-v-basics-tip-sheets/

Hayes,L.L.&Ciarrochi,J.,(2016).TipsheetsforDNA-vwithkids–Socialview.Availablefordownloadat-http://thrivingadolescent.com/kids-resources/dna-v-social-view-family-tip-sheets/

Hayes,L.L.&Ciarrochi,J.,(2016).TipsheetsforDNA-vwithkids–Self-view.Availablefordownloadat-http://thrivingadolescent.com/kids-resources/dna-v-self-view-tip-sheets/

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Session1–What’sthisprogramabout

Equipment

• Pens• DNA-Vworkbooklet–1perstudent• VideofromZe-FrankavailableonYouTubehere-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwNJZUZFt-U• PowerPointslidewithTheGameoflife(Ciarrochi,Hayes,L.&Bailey,2012).Downloadhere

-http://thrivingadolescent.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Game-of-Life-Ciarrochi-Hayes-Bailey-2012.pdf

Aimforthesession–Gettoknoweachotherandprogrampurpose

Theaimforsessiononeistogettoknoweachotherandprovidethegroupwithanunderstandingofwhattoexpectoverthecourseofthegroupprogram.Buildadeeperunderstandingaboutourselvesandthosearoundus

• Knowandcareforourselvesandeachother• IntroduceDNA-vandtheconceptofchoice• Discussgrouprules,confidentialityandrespectforeachother• Worktogetherwithrespectandcompassion

Throughouttheprogram,providesomeguidelinesandtimeforthegrouptowriteintheirhandouts/workbooks.Thisisimportanttoreinforcewhattheyarelearning,asareminderoflearningsfromthegroup,andforreflectiveathometaskslaterinthesessions.

Contenttocoverinthesession

Keypointstocoverinthesection:

• Facilitatorsbeginbyintroducingthemselvesandexplainingwhatthegroupwillbeabout.• IntroduceconceptofwritingyourownDNA.• ExplainthatthesesessionsareaboutlearningtowriteyourownDNA• ExplainwhatwemeanbyDNA-v–itisthebasicbuildingblockswithineachofus–butin

thiscourseitistheD,NandAofeverythingyoudo• JustlikeDNAgetsexpressed,thesesessionsandthehandbookwillbeabouthowyourDNA

skillshelpyoutoexpressyourbestself• Provideeachstudentwithaworkbook• IntroduceDNAexperientially“LetmeshowyouwhatImean”

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Beingyourself

Facilitatoremphasisesthatstudentswillbewritingtheir“own”handbookforlife.

Beginbyshowingthefollowingvideoandfacilitatingadiscussionabouttryingtobewhatotherswantyoutobe.

• ShowVideofromZe-FrankavailableonYouTubehere-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwNJZUZFt-U

Discussion:

• Askthegroup,“Whotellsyouhowtobeyou?”• Promptforanswersifnecessary–friends,Mum,Dad,teachers,grandparents,siblings,

coach,media,ourselves.• Askthem–“Sowhoshouldbewritingthathandbookonhowtobeyou?”

IntroducingwhatwemeanbyDNA?

Sampledialogue:

Youaregoingtolearnthatwedon'thavetofitintosomeoneelse’sviewofus,wewriteourown

handbook,andwecanlearntodothiswithsomethingwecallDNA-v.

WeallknowDNAisthebasicbuildingblocksoflife.Itinfluencesoureyecolourandheight.

WearegoingtotalkaboutadifferentDNA.

It’stheDNAofwhatwedo,think,feel.It’sthingsyoucanlearnaboutyourselfwhichcanhelpyou

towriteyourownhandbookonlife.Itcanhelpyoulearnhowtobeyouwhenstuffgetshardorin

theway.Wehopeyoucanhavesomefunwhilewelearnstufftogether.

Introducingyourself

Facilitatorshouldspendsometimeintroducingthemselvesandtheirresponsibilitiesregardingconfidentiality.

Sampledialogue:

• Assomeofyoumayknow,myroleattheschoolis…

• Aspartofmyrole…

Besuretodiscussconfidentialityandlimitsofthegroup.Alwaysplantodothissothatifariskorharmissuearisestheyoungpeopleknowwhatwillhappenanddonotfeelbetrayed.

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UsingsocialDNA-vtoformthegroup

Facilitatorsshouldspendsometimediscussingtheexpectationsforthegroup,insideandoutsideofthesessions.

Guidelineforthediscussion:

Beginbyaskingthegroup,“whatmakesagoodgroup.”

Astheytalk,drawabigDNA-vdisconawhiteboard,andbeginmodellingDNA-vasagroupby

writingintheappropriatespaces,i.e.fittheiranswersunderD,NorA(noneedtoexplaintoomuch

aboutwhatDNA-vmeanatthispoint).

InVyoucanwriteanyvaluesstatements–forexample,beingrespectfultoeachother,learning,

caringetc.Simplyreframetheyoungpeople’ssuggestionsintovaluesbehaviours–gettingrespect

becomesbeingrespectful.

InAyoucanwriteanyrulestheycomeupwith–forexample,avoidgossiping

InNwritefeelingsandpresentmomentawarenessexamplesthattheycomeupwith–forexample,

noticinghowothersfeel

InD,youcanwritedownrulestheycomeupwithforovertgroupbehaviour–forexample,not

talkingovereachother.

Finally,returntoconfidentiality–

“Sometimesyoumighthaveanissueyoudon’tfeelokaytoshareinthegroup,butwanttotalk

about.Youmightbeworriedaboutsomethingthatfeelstoobigtosayinfrontofeveryone,oryou

maynotbesureabout.Thebestwayistotalkwithoneofthefacilitatorsafterthegroup,orifit

feelsreallyurgent,askoneofusifyoucangooutandtalkprivatelyduringthegroup.“

Thenasktheyoungpeopletocomeupwiththeirownrulesforconfidentialityoutsidethegroup.

YoucanwritetheseinAtoo.

TheChallengeofChoosing

GameofLifePart1

ThisgameisfromGetoutofyourmindandintoyourlifeforteens(Ciarrochi,L.Hayes&Bailey,2012).Theaimofthisactivityistoalloweveryonetoexperiencetheproblemwithnochoice/choiceaboutwhathappensintheirlives.Youcandownloadtheimageforthegameoflifehere:http://thrivingadolescent.com/adolescent-resources/thriving-adolescent-book-downloads/..

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Keysteps:

• Askparticipantstopick4numbers(or6dependingontime)between1and63andwritethemdownintheirhandbook.

• Then,withabitoffanfare,showTheGameofLifeonthescreen.Tellparticipantsthatwiththose4numbersyoutheywillfindoutwhathappenstotheirlife.Facilitatorsshouldparticipateinthegameaswell.

• Participantsshouldwritetheirdestinyintheirhandbook.• Facilitatorsshouldgiveeveryonetheopportunitytosharetheirdestiny.• Discusswhatitfeltliketohavenocontrol.

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Sampledialogue:

Let’sseehowyourlivesturnedout.Whowouldliketogofirstandtelluswhatyoudidwithyour

life?

Didanyonefindthemselveswishingtheyhadchosena“5”insteadofa“6”sotheycouldhave

“wisdom”insteadof“addiction”?

Whatwasitliketohavechanceinchargeofyourlife?

Whoishappywiththislife,withtheserandomchoices–(maybeonepersonishappyothersaren’t).

Regardlessofwhetheryouarehappyornot,here’smyquestions:

• doyouwanttobetheonewhochoses?

• ordoyouwantitchosenforyou?

Let’sdothatnowandseewhatchoosingforourselvesfeelslike.

TheGameofLifePart2

Inviteparticipantstolookattheboardagainandchosewhich4(or6dependingontime)squarestheywouldlikeastheirdestiny.Only4though.

Getthemtowritethemdownintheirgrouphandbook.

Facilitatorscancreateagroupdiscussion--elicitsomediscussionofthedifferentexperiencewhenyouarechoosingwiththoughtfulnessratherthanrandom.Thisexercisegivesparticipantstheexperienceoftakingsomechoiceintheirlives.

Sampledialogue:

Whatdidyounoticethistime?Whatdiditfeellike?Howdoyoufeelnowcomparedtowhenyour

destinywasrandom?

Whatwoulditbeliketogothroughlifehavingthingsrandomlychosenforyou?

Therearelotsofreasonswhythisapparentrandomnesshappenstopeople,butmostlyitisbecause

theyhaven’tlearnthowtopauseandlistentothemhear.Insteadtheylistentotheirmindstelling

themtheycan’tdothings,orthattryingistooscary,oritistoohard.Soinsteadofchoosing

thoughtfully,theyjustreacttowhatisaroundthem.

Weareprettysureyoudon’twanttoliveyourlifeinthisrandomway,sowearegoingtoworkon

thatnow.

Facilitatorsdiscusstheimportanceofchoosing.Forexample:

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Alotoftheworkwearegoingtodoisaboutchoosing.

Hasanyonenoticedthatchoosingcanbequitehard?

Why?–promptresponses(riskgettingitwrong,lookingsilly,beingjudged,gettingitrightcanbe

scarytoo)

Therearelotsofchoicestoday–evenchoosingjeanstakesalotofeffortbecausetherearesomany

styles

Manypeoplewon’teventhinkaboutchoosinghowtheywanttobe.Theyjustkeepdoing.

Wearenotonlyafraidofotherswearealsoafraidofourselves.Forexample,sometimesweavoid

eventhinkingaboutbeinggoodatsomethingincaseitneverhappens.Andtheonlypersonwhowill

knowwearethinkingitisus.

Keymessage–Choosingishard.Thoughtfulchoosingisevenharder,butlearningtoconsiderwhatyoucareabout(values)isworthit.

UsingSocialDNA-vforgroupformationPart2

FacilitatorscanreturntotheDNA-vdisctheydrewupontheboardearlierwiththegrouprulesandspendsometimeintroducingeachcomponentofDNA-Vinrelationtotheyoungpeople’sthoughtsandfeelingsduringthesession.

InviteeveryonetowriteafewnotesontheDNA-vmodelintheirworkbook.

Samplediscussion:

V standsforvalueorvitality,itmeanswhatwecareabout,orwhatisinourhearts.

Whatareweherefor?Whatdoyouhopethiscanbeabout?Whatdoyouhopethatwemight

achievebyspendingacoupleofhourstogether?(examplesgetalongwithpeople,learnabout

myself,behappieratschool)

We’lllearnalotmorelater,butfornow,let’salsogetoutthenegativestuffthathappenswhenwe

areinagrouplikethis:

A standsfortheadvicewegiveourselves.So,asyouwerecallingtheseanswersout,whatarethe

negativethingsyoumightbethinkingabout.(Ifthegroupishesitantyoucanaskwhata“friend”

mightthinkaboutthemselves,youcanmakeajokeofit–“Ihaveafriendwhohasafriendwho

thinksthisgroupisstupid”).Let’sjustwritesomethoughtshere(negativeaboutthisgroup)for

examplethismightbecrap,boring,wasteoftime,

Facilitatorsshouldaddtheirownthoughtstooforexampleyoumighthateme,youmightnotgetit.

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Asyouspeakincludeanyjudgementsothersmightmakeaboutyou,forexamplethatwasastupid

thingtosay.

N referstoourabilitytopause,insteadofreact,andnoticewhat’sgoingoninsideourselves,with

others,andwiththosearoundus.Whathaveyounoticedsofar?Inyourselfandinothersaround

you?(ifreluctantyoucanaskwhat“friend”mightbefeelingandmakeajokeofit–“Ihaveafriend

whohasafriendwhoisanxiousinthisgroup”).Includeinsidenoticingfeelings–whatdoyounotice

inyourbodyforexampleembarrassed,anxious,butterflies,scared,etc.Includeoutsidenoticing.for

examplewhatothersinthegroupseemslike(avoidevaluationsofothersatthisstage).

D Dstandsforthethingswediscoverorthingswedo.Let’sconsidersomeofthethingswedoin

agrouplikethisifweareworriedornervous,i.e.theimpulsive,unthinking,oractingoutthingswe

mightdoinagrouplikethis.Whatdoyoudo?Forexamplesblurtstuffout,notputyourhandup,

besilent,stayoutofthediscussion.

Noticethatallofushavenegativethoughts,feelingsandactions.Everyoneofuscanrelatetothese

things.

Now,returntoVandgentlysummarise.Forexamplewhenallthisnegativestuffisgoingon,what

happenstowhatwecareabout?Andwhathappenstoourdecisionsabouthowwewantourgroup

tobe?Noticethatallofthisisnormalandwealldoit.Inthisgroupwearegoingtolearnallabout

that.

Spendsometimeemphasisingthatthisisallnormal,andsomethingthatweallexperience.

Hometask

• Askstudentstospendsometimethisweeknoticingwhathappenswhentheyhavetomake

choices.Howoftenithappens,isitdifficultoreasy,whatdotheythinkwhentheyhavetochoose,howdotheyfeelbeforeandaftermakingachoice

Endingthesession

• Checkforquestionsorcomments• Checktheirunderstandingofwherethehomepracticetaskgoesinthehandbook• Thankeveryone• Makesuretheyhaveputtheirnameontheworkbook• Considercollectingtheworkbooksupandbringingthemnextweek• Reminderthatanyonewhoisworriedorconcernedcanconnectafterthesession.

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Session2-TheNoticer

Equipment

• PensandDNA-Vhandbookforeachstudent• YouTubeclips–

1. FreehugsinSantorini-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hN8CKwdosjE2. Babyrespondingtodadevillaugh-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YemitZJBT1Y

Aimforthesession-Thenoticerasaprocess

Noticeristheprocessofbecomingawareofourinnerandouterexperiences,appreciatingourpresentcontext,andchoosingourresponse.

Exercisesthathelpayoungpersonbecomemoreflexiblewiththisnoticerprocesswillbehelpful.Herearethekeymessagesandcontenttocover:

• Introduceandexperientiallyhelpyoungpeoplegetintouchwiththeirownnoticer• Learnthatweallhavenoticerskills,• Introducebasicnoticersteps–Normalise,practiceA-N-D,practiceallowing.• Learningwecanchooseourresponse(evenifitishard)• Learnthatwecan’tstopthoughtsandemotions,andstrugglingispartoftheproblem• Learningtoappreciatethepresentmoment• Normaliseandcreateawarenessthatweeachhavenoticerbehaviours,andtheycanbethe

sameordifferentinasituation

RecapandReflection

• Brieflywelcomeeveryoneback.• Invitestudentstoreflectonlastweek(session1)forexamplewhatdidwelearn?• Remindthemofthekeymessagefromlastsession:Wegettochooseourpath,butchoosing

ishard.• Checkifanyonehasexamplesfromhomepractice.Whatdidtheynoticeaboutchoosing?

Howoftendidyouhavetochoose?Wasitdifficultoreasy?Whatdidtheythinkwhentheyhadtochoose,howdidtheyfeelbeforeandaftermakingachoice?

Step1-NormalisingtheNoticer

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Webeginthissessionwithopendiscussiononhowournoticeristrainedbytheworld,andasimplenoticerskillthatallowsthestudentstoeasilyseethattheyhavenoticerskills.

Weareallnoticers

Sampleintroduction:

Invitethestudentstostandup,noticetheirfeetonthefloor,noticeaspotofdirtontheceiling,and,

thennoticehowtheirbreathisrightnow.

Thisisnoticing.Wecanalldoit.

Wearebornasnoticersbutwelosetheskillaswegetolder,sowewillhavetotrainourselvesto

becomebetteratnoticing.Thiscanbeusefulwhenyouhavethoughtsorfeelingsthataredifficult,

orsomethingmakesyoufeelanxiousandworried.

Youhaveamessage

Sampledialogue:

Yournoticerisjustlikemymobilephone(holdupphone).Myphoneisconstantlygettingmessages,

searchingformessages,pingingwhenitgetson.

Whatcanyoudoifyoudon’twantanymessagesonmyphone?

Inviteanswersandusethesepromptstoplayfullyguidediscussion:

1. Youcansmashit.Butthatmeansyougetnocallsormessagesever.

2. Blockthecaller–butiftheyreallywanttogetholdofyouwhatwilltheydo(usesomeone

else’sphone)?Ifitwasyourmumforexamplewhatwouldshedoifyoublockedher?

3. Youcanputitonsilentsoyoucan’thearit.Butifit’sonsilentwhathappensifyourbest

friendistryingtogetholdofyou?

Discusshowallofthesestrategieswillhelpyouavoidthecallsormessages,andtheywillworkintheshortterm,butarenotveryeffectiveinthelongterm.

Forexampleifweavoidingallcalls/messagesitmightworkforyouinthatminute,butitmakes

thingsworseinthelongerterm(likeblockingyourmum’scalls).Whatweknowisthatthemessage

isnottheproblem,theproblemistryingtoavoidthemessage.

Nowconsider,yournoticerskill,orwhatyounoticeinsideyou,issomethinglikethis.Manyofus

havegrownupinaworldwherewehaven’tlearnedhowtouseourfeelings,howtolistentothe

message,sowetrytoblockthem,toshutoffourfeelings,toignorethemetc.

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Imaginenotlearningtohearyourownbody’smessages?Maybethiswouldbelikesomeonehanding

someonefromthe17thcenturyamobilephone.Whatwouldtheydowithit?Promptfordiscussions

onwhattheymightdo.

Wehavealllearnedhowtouseournoticerskillstomanageourfeelings.Butfirstweneedtolookat

whatwehavelearned.Maybe,likethe17thcenturyphoneuser,wehavenoconnectiontothe

“network”,inthiscasethewisdomthatisourbody.

Howhaveyoubeentoldtocopewithyourfeelings?Whathaveyouheardorlearnedtodowith

them?Givetimetoexplorethis.Promptsinclude–controllingthem,distractingyourself,pretending

theyarenotthere,playingvideogames,obsessingaboutsocialmediaetc.

Discusstheineffectivenessoftheseagendas.Howwelldoesthatwork?Shorttermandlongerterm{whatiftheyneverhadsadnessorwereneverafraidofanything}

Step2-Practiceatawareness,naminganddescribingnoticersensations

Remembertobreathe

Oneoftheeasiestandmostconvenientwaystopracticebeinganoticeristojustpauseandtakeaslowbreath.

Askyoungpeopletodothatnowwithyou.Simplypauseandtakeaslowbreath.Allowenoughtimeforthemalltodothis.

Discusswithyoungpeoplethattheirbreathhelpstomanagetheirbody.Whentheyarestressed,afraid,orangrytheirbreathbecomesquick.Learningtotakeaslowbreathcanhelpus.Remindthemthatwedonotmeanbreatheinreallydeeply,justtakeaniceslowbreathbeforeresponding.

Asyoudelivertheremainderofthesessions,occasionallydropinthisslowbreathpractice.

PracticeA-N-D

Thisnextexerciseteachesthebasicstepsofbecomingawareofourselves,learningtonamethesensationsanddescribeourfeelings.TodothisweusetwoverydifferentYouTubeclipsthatwillcreatedifferentsensationsandfeelingsintheparticipants.

Sampledialogue:

ThefirstoneusestheacronymA-N-D,that’sDNAbackwards.ItstandsforAware,Nameand

Describe.

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Youmaythinkthissoundsreallydumb,butweknowintheresearchitislinkedtosomanygood

outcomesandhelpspeoplelistenandusetheirnoticermessages.Researchshowsusthisisareally

helpfulskill,ithelpspeoplemanagestressandbecomelessreactive.

I’mgoingtoshowyoutwolittleYouTubeclipsandaskyoutodoisA-N-Dasyouwatcheachone.

Aware–thisisbecomeawareofyourbreath,

Name–isnamethesensation,e.g.youmightbecomeawareofbutterfliesinyourstomach,orjump

insurprise,oragaspofbreath

Describe–thisissimplytodescribeiftheawarenessandnamingisconnectedtoafeeling.For

example,butterfliesinyourstomachmightbeafeelinglike,“Iamnervousnow”.

PlaytheFreehugsinSantoriniYouTubeclipandfacilitatediscussionofA-N-Dinresponsetheyhadwhilewatching.(seeequipmentsection)

PlaythebabyrespondingtodadevillaughYouTubeclipandfacilitatediscussionofA-N-Dinresponseheretoo.(seeequipmentsection)

Keypointstodiscuss:

• Werespondinsideourbodiesaswewatch• Wecanbethesameordifferentinournoticing• Wechangeourresponsewhenweseeemotionsinothers• Discusshowtheresponsecomesandgoes,thiscanbequicklyorslowlybutitalwayspasses.

Step3-Alloworrespondtonoticersignals

Thefinalstepinbuildingnoticerskillsistohelpyoungpeoplediscoverthattheydon'tneedtoautomaticallyrespondtoallfeelingsignals,controlthem,beafraidofthem,ordistractfromthem.Withpracticetheycanlearntoeitherallowthefeelingtobethere,orlearntorespondwithawareness.

Seaweedgoeswiththeocean1–Anexerciseinallowingorresponding

Thisexerciseaimstohelpyoungpeopleexperientiallyunderstandtheirchoicewithfeelingsandsensations.Standorsitwiththegroupandactthisouttogether.Wefindactingthingsoutreally1SeaweedgoeswiththeoceanisreproducedfromHayes,L.,&Ciarrochi,J.(2015).TheThrivingAdolescent:UsingAcceptanceandCommitmentTherapyandPositivePsychologytoHelpTeensManageEmotions,AchieveGoals,andBuildConnection.OaklandCA:NewHarbinger.

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helpsyoungpeopletounderstandtheconcepts,whereastalkingisjustloadingintowhateveryotheradultsdoes–tellthemwhattodo.Sureyouwillfeelsillyatfirst,butwehavefounditreallyworks.However,ifyouwant,youcanalsodothisasaneyesclosedmeditation.

Sampledialogue:

Askeveryonetostandwitheyesclosedorlookingatthefloorsotheydon'tfeeltoosillyandgetthe

giggles.

Imagineyouareaseaweedplant.Youarestrongandhavebeengrowingforalongtimewithyour

rootsfirmlyanchoredintotheseafloor.

Todaytheseaiscalmandmovingonlyasmallamount,soyouaregentlyswayingbackandforward,

itisverypeaceful.Noticehowitfeelstobeswayinggentlyandgoingwiththeocean.

Eyesclosed,continuetalkingthiswayforabout30seconds,swayinggentlytogether.

Nowalongcomesabigwave,manybigwaves.Youswaybackandforwardpowerfullymovedbythe

waves,youaremovingwiththem.Yourrootsarefirmlyplantedintotheseabed.Yousimplygowith

theocean,movingbackandforward.Itisapowerfulseatoday.Noticehowitfeelstoberocking

withthewaves.

Eyesclosed,continuetalkingtosimulatethestrongwavesforabout30seconds.

Nowimaginemassivewavescrashingoveryouandthistimeyouwanttofightthem,youdon'twant

toberockedbythewaves,soyoustandrigid.Imaginethewavescrashingaroundyou.Noticethe

effortittakestoforceyourselftostaystillwhilewavescrashallaround.

Standingrigid,imaginingtheforceofwaves,simulatingstruggle,forabout20seconds.

Oncemoretheseabecomescalmandyougobacktogentlyswaying,rockingwiththepeaceful

ocean.Noticehowitfeelstobeswayinggentlyandgoingwiththeocean.

Oncetheexerciseisover,asktheyoungpersontodescribewhatitfeltliketobeswayinggently,thenstrongly,andthenfightingthewaves.

Theyshouldnoticethatfightingthewavestakesalotofeffort,farmorethanallowingoneselftoberockedbackandforwardbystrongwaves.

Gentlyrelatethisbacktotheiremotions.Allowingemotionstocomeandgoislikegoingwiththewaves,sometimesitisgentle,sometimesitispowerful,butgoingwiththewavesisalwaysmucheasierthanstandingrigidandfightingagainstthem.Emotionsarelikethis,goingwiththemissometimeseasy,sometimeshard,butneverashardastryingtofightthem.

Createnewrulesforfeelings

Wecanhelpyoungpeoplewithnewrulesforfeelings.Forexample:

• Allfeelingsarenormal• Allfeelingsareok

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• Feelingsjustare• Thistooshallpass

Facilitatediscussionwiththegrouponwhattheyfindhelpfultosaytothemselves.Rememberwealwaysneedtoholdallruleslightly.

Noticerisn’tjustaboutFeelings

Facilitateagroupdiscussiononhowournoticercanhelpusbeawareofhowourbodiesarerespondingtotheworld.

• Noticehowyourbodyrevsupwithstress,examsetc.• Noticehowitchangeswhenyougoforawalk,getsomeexercise,playasport• Noticewhathappenswithfastmusic,slowmusic,sadmusic

Discusshowmovementcanhelpusinlotsofways.Forexample,onetreatmentthatworkswellfordepressionisexercise.

Discusshowothersinfluenceournoticer.

• Beingseenandheardbyothersisimportanttoallhumans.• Weallneedotherpeople;muchofourstresscomesfrominteractionswithotherpeople,

buttheyalsohelptosoothandcalmus.• Abigfeelingorproblemcanchangewhenyoutellsomeone.

Noticethenoticergame–SocialDNA-V

Humanshaveauniquecapacitytounderstandotherpeoples’feelings,buttheycanalsobewayoffintheirguesses,andsometimestheycanprojecttheirownfeelingsontoothers.Thisnextexercisehelpsyoungpeopleexperiencethis‘mindreading’abilityweallhave,andincreasetheirperspectivetakingofanother’sexperience.Theimportantmessageisthatwecan‘mind-read,’butwealwaysneedtocheckourguessesout.Sometimeswearewrong.Sometimesinsharedexperienceweassumeanotherfeelsaswedo.Sometimesweprojectourownfeelingsontoothers.

Instructions:

Askeveryonetostandupandgetintogroupsoffour.

Giveeveryoneapieceofpaperwiththenumber1,2,3or4onit.Askthemnottorevealwhat

numbertheyhave.

Showaslide,orwriteonaboard,therolesthatareassignedforeachnumber,asfollows:

1=emoter

2=receiver

3and4arenoticers.

Inthetask,theemoterimaginesthemselvesinasituationwheretheyhavestrongfeelings,butdon't

wantotherstoseeit.Forexample,imagineatimewhensomethinghasgonewrongormadeyou

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upsetandyougotoschoolandtrytohidehowyoufeel.Youstillfeelit,butyoudon'twantanyone

tosee.

Thereceiver’staskistoguesswhichofthegrouphasthefeeling.

Thenoticerstaskistobejustthat,someoneinthegroupnotdoinganythingbutnoticing.Ifthey

guesstheemotionofthereceiver,theyshouldnotsayitoutloud.Thatisthetaskofthereceiver

Havethegroupjuststandandchatforaminuteorso,andwhenthereceiverisreadytheycantry

andguesswhichoneistheemoter.Remindthemthatthisisagamesotheycandothisplayfully.

Oncetheyhavedonethefirstround,askthemtoredistributetheirnumberedroles,shakeitup,and

chooseanotherroleforround2.

Havethegroupsengageinafewrounds.

Whenthegameisover,discussthefollowing:

• Howdidyouguess?Whatcluesdidyouuse?• Wasiteasyorhard?• Diditchangeifyouknewtheperson?• Thengeneralisethisouttoreallife:Whatisitlikewhenyouarehavingabigfeelingand

hopingthatsomeoneseesitandhelpsyou?Whatisitlikewhenyouarehavingabigfeelingsandhopingnoonesees?

• Discusshowsometimesyoufeellikeeveryonecanseethroughyou.Maybetheycan,maybetheycan’t.

Hometask

• Askstudentstospendsometimethisweekpracticingthe3noticerstepsAND• Becomeawareoftheirbreath,ortheirbreath;Namethesensation,e.g.butterfliesin

stomach,orfastheartrate;Describewhattheyarefeelingforexample,butterfliesinyourstomachmightbeafeelinglike,“Iamnervousnow”.

• Askiftheycancreatesomenewrulesforfeelings.Forexample:Allfeelingsarenormal,Allfeelingsareok,Feelingsjustare,Thistooshallpass

Endingthesession

• CheckHomeTaskiswrittenintheirworkbook• Checkforquestionsorcomments• Thankeveryone• Considercollectingtheworkbooksupandbringingthemnextweek

• Reminderthatanyonewhoisworriedorconcernedcanconnectafterthesession.

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Session3–TheAdviser

Equipment

• PensandDNA-Vhandbookforeachstudent• Whiteboardmarker(forWooPenexercises)andexplainactivitytoaco-facilitatororstaff

member(brief“thepensayswoo”withastaffmemberpriortothegroupstarting)• Post-itnotes• Cardswithexamplesofstatementsfor“LionsintheGrassactivity”• Giveyouradvisorthemicrophonevideo,availablehere

http://thrivingadolescent.com/adolescent-resources/new-ideas-for-you/video-ideas/• BoBurnhampoemMagiconanoverhead(optional)

Aimofthesession-Theadvisorasaprocess

Theadvisoristheprocessofhelpingpeopletonavigatetheircontextwithlanguage.Thisincludesbehavioursofpredictinginsteadofusingtrialanderror,beliefs,judgements,rules,evaluations,andproblemsolving.Inotherwords,theadvisoruseswhatwehavelearnedfromthepasttohelpusnavigateourpresentandfuture.Thewholepointoftheadvisoristokeepusfrommakingmistakes,especiallytheonesthatgetuskilled.

Weintroduceametaphortorepresentthisbehaviourgroupas‘ouradvisor”or“howwegiveourselvesadvice”.

Therearefourkeystepstousingtheadvisorflexibly,theyinclude:

1. Normalisetheadvisor’s‘watchingout’function

2. Decidingthehelpfulnessofourownadvice,rulesandself-talk,basedonwhetherithelpswithvitalityandvalue

3. Learningtounhookifstuck.Webeginwithsteppingoutofadvisortonoticerordiscoverer

4. Learningtocreatehelpfulrulesandevaluations

Again,wecouldusemanyexercisestohelpyoungpeoplelearnthese4steps.

RecapandReflection

• Brieflywelcomeeveryoneback.• BrieflyrecaptheNoticerfromlastsession.• Askthegrouptodiscusswhattheynoticedbetweenthesessions.• Askifanyonehasexamplesofthe3stepsofthenoticerfromhomepractice

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Step1Introducingthenormalityoftheadvisor

Beginbyaskingifthegrouparewillingtoengageinsomefunnyandweirdexperimentsandgames.Thenwithouttoomuchexplanation,starttheLionintheGrassexercise.

Survivorgame(Hayes,L.&Ciarrochi,2015)

Thepurposeofthisactivityistodevelopanunderstandingoftheusefulnessoftheadvisorandwhywehumansevolvedwithlanguage.Itprotectsusfromharmandkeepussafe.Theactivitydemonstrateswhathappenedtopreviousgenerationsofhumanswhoignoredtheiradvisor,andshowswearedescendedfromgenerationsofhumanswithprotectiveadvisors.

Instructions

Askforfivevolunteers.

Onestudentwillbethetribalwarriorfacedwithalion.

The4otherswillbeadifferenttypeofinnervoice(languageandthinking).Handeachparticipanta

cardwithsomeexamplestatementstopromptthem.Askthemnottorevealtheirroleorwhatis

writtenonthecard.

Thesilentadvisor–thepersonreallyhasnoadvisorhere

Theobedientadvisor-totheobedientadvisorisnegativeandthreatoriented,butwhenyoutellit

toshutup,itshutsup.

TheMellowadvisor–Thisadvisorseessomenegativethingsbutmostlyisrelaxedandlikestofocus

onthepositive

TheAdvisor–oursupersensitive,alwaysontheball,typicaldangeravoidingadvisor

Everyoneelsewillbelionstryingtoeatthetribalwarrior.

Askthetribalwarriortochoosea‘helper’andtheirjobistoworktogethertotryandgetpastthe

lionstothefoodontheotherside.Instructthe‘helpers’totakeonthepersonaandusethe

promptsonthecardtohelpthetribalwarriorreachthefood.

Youcreateabattleeachtimetoseewhichadvisorisbetter:silentadvisorversusadvisor(butto

keepthemysteryyoumaysay,“thesilentadvisorversusanotherkindofadvisor”.Thendoobedient

advisorversusadvisor.Withobedientadvisor,yougettheyoungpersontoliterallyturntothe

helperandsayshutup.Thehelpershutsup.Thenwiththe“other”advisor,thepersonsaysshutup

buttheadvisordoesnotshutup.

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Thefinalbattleisbetweenthemellowadvisorandtheadvisor.

Thesilentadvisorsaysnothing.Theyhappilywalkuptothelions.Theywilldie.

Theobedientadvisorisasnegativeastherealadvisor.Thepersonistoturntothehelperandsay

shutuptotheobedientadvisor.Theadvisorshutsup.Sowhenalionshowsupinthedistance,they

don’tshoutawarning.It’sbeenshutup.Theywilldie.

Themellowadvisorcan’tbeshutup,butisverylaid-back,seesdangersbutdoesn’treallyworry

aboutthem.Missessomedangers.Canonlyaffordtomissonedanger.Theywilldie.

Theadvisornevershutsup,itisconstantlylookingfordangerandisquiteforceful.Itkeepsmaking

negativecommentsandstopsthewarriorfrommovingforward.Thewarriorsurvives.

Facilitatorsshoulddiscussthepurposeandusefulnessofeachinnervoice.Forexample:

• Discussthecharacteristicsofeachinnervoice,whathappenedtothemandwhy?• Whichinnervoicedoyouwishyouhad?• Whichonewillkeepyoualive?• Whichonetoyouactuallyhave?

Summarizethepurposeandusefulnessoftheadvisor.

Sampledialogue

Foryoutobehere,yourancestorshadtomakezerofatalmistakesbeforetheyproducedchildren—

zeromistakesacrossthousandsofyears.Wearethechildrenofthechildrenofthechildrenofthose

survivingtribalbands.Ouradvisorshavesavedus.Ifyourlifedependedonmakingzeromistakes,

wouldyouratherhaveanadvisorthat’stoonegativeandsensitive,oraninnervoicethatislaid-back

andsometimesmakesmistakes?

Step2Appreciatethehelpfulnessofouradvisor

Advisoradapted-PensaysWooexercise

Thisexerciseisanadaptationfromthebook,Getoutofyourmindandintoyourlife(Hayes,S.C.&Smith,2005)

Instructions:

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Giveawhiteboardmarkertoastaffmemberandaskthemtoholditup.Tellthestudentsthispenis

magicalanditcanspeak.Itsays“woo”.Explainthatfromnowonwhenevertheyseethepenthey

shouldsay“Woo”.Practiceafewtimes.Havefunwithit.

Throughouttheremainderofthesession,askthestaffmembertorandomlyholdupthepenover

thecourseofthegroup.

Atsomelaterpoint,afterafewopportunitiestorespondtothepenwith“woo”,facilitatorsshouldstopanddiscuss.Forexample:

• Howquicklythestudentsassociatethepenand“woo”• Howeasyitistotrainanadvisor,evenwithsillythings.• Howtheycan’tstopithappeningandhowtheycan’t“shutitup”• Howhelpfulisittokeepsaying“woo”?

Discusshowhelpfulthoughtsconnectustowhatwecareabout,whereasunhelpfulrulesorthoughtsoftencomefromrandomthings,‘likepensayswoo’.Inthesemomentswecandecidewhethertheruleswehavearehelpfulforconnectinguswithmeaning,andiftheyarenot,wecanstepoutofthemandintothenoticerspace,takeabreathandjustbecomeawareofouradvisor.

Watchingyouradvisoratwork

Thisexerciseisanadaptationfromthebook,Thingsmightgoterriblyhorriblywrong(DuFrene&Wilson,2010)

Instructions

Tellthegroupyouaregoingtotimethemforoneminute.Invitethemtoclosetheireyesandcount

eachbreath.Everytimetheygetdistractedbyathought,orstartproblemsolving,thinkingabout

thefuture,orworkingoutiftheyaredoingitright,theyneedtogobacktozeroandbegincounting

again.

Stopafteroneminute.

Facilitatorsshouldaskthemwhathappened.Forexample:

• Didcountanyhigherthan3?Howhigh?• Whatdistractedthem?• Didtheybecomeawareoftheiradvisorchatting?Problemsolving?Workingoutwhattodo

next?• Wheretheirthoughtsalwaysusefulandprofound,orsometimesjustchatter?• Discusshowouradvisorsjobistopumpoutthoughts.Youmightchoosetorelatethistothe

roleoftheheartwhichistopumpblood.

Generalisefromtheexercisetotheirliveswithdiscussion:

• Whodoyoutalktothemost?Answer–You.

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• Isyouradvisorlikeyourbestfriend,yourworstenemy,orboth?Answer–Evenwhenwearecriticalouradvisorisusuallylookingoutforusinsomeweirdway.

Wrapitupdiscussion

Sampledialogue-

Soweknowtheadvisorismeanttohelpus,itdoesn’tcontrolus,butitisprettypowerful,very

activeandquitehardtoignore.Let’sdoafewmorethingstogettoknowouradvisormindsalittle

bettersoitdoesn’tpushusaroundsomuch.

Step3Gamestounhookfromtheadvisor

Thenextstepistohelpyoungpeoplepracticedefusingfromtheiradvisorwhenitseemstheyarestuck.Oneoftheeasiestwaystodothisistosimplystepoutoftheadvisorandintothenoticerordiscoverer.

GiveyourAdvisoraMicrophoneexercise

Thepurposeofthisexerciseistodemonstratethat,attimes,everyonehasacriticaladvisor,eventhoughweoftenthinkwearetheonlypersonwhohasone.ItisadaptedfromtheworkofRikkeKjelgaardandKellyWilson(www.humanact.se)

Instructions:

Facilitatorstakeapostitnoteandwritedownacriticalinnerthoughtthatprovidesappropriate

levelsofself-disclosure.Revealyourpostitnotemessageandtellthegroupwhen/howthisthought

seemstopopup.(commonexamplesare“Iamnotgoodenough”,“Iamdumb/ugly/useless”)

Giveeachstudentapost-itnote.

Invitethemtowritedownsomethingcriticalthattheiradvisorsaystothem.Askthemtodisguise

theirhandwritingsonobodyknowswhattheyhavewritten.Explainthattheywillbecollectedup

anonymouslybyastaffmember.Collectthepost-itnotesanddisplaythemallonthewall.

Optional-whilethepostitnotesarebeingputonthewall,showavideoofnoteswrittenbyagroup

ofhighschoolstudents,explainthesewerejustregularstudentsattendingclass.Giveyouradvisor

themicrophonevideo,availableherehttp://thrivingadolescent.com/adolescent-resources/new-

ideas-for-you/video-ideas/

Givethestudentsachancetogetupandreadwhattheirpeershavewrittenaboutthemselves.This

canfeelquiteseriousbutitisanopportunitytoshowthenormalityofourstruggle.

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Facilitatorsshoulddiscusshowhurtfulthesethoughtsare,buthowcommontheyare.Forexample:• Whatdidyounotice?• Didtheynoticeanysimilarities?• Howmanydoyouhave?

Importantmessagesfordiscussion:

• Consideraskingthegrouptowriteafewnotesintheirworkbook• Weallhavecriticalinnerthoughts,eachoneofuscouldcomeupwithseveralmessages• Itisn’tbadthatouradvisoriscritical,theproblemisthatwemakeourselvesstrangersto

eachotherbyhidingandthinkingthatwearealone,orpretendingwearealwayspositive.• Ouradvisor’sjobistopointoutourweaknessessowegetbetter,thisisfarmoreeffective

thanalwaysbeingpositive.Positiveandnegativeareuseful.• Sometimes,wedogetoverlycriticalandtherearethingswecandotohelpourselves.

Myadvisorsoundslike…….

Thisnextexercisecanbuildsomenewwaysofthinkingaboutourinnerselftalk.Usethe‘magic’poembyBoBurnhamtogettheadvisorsusingdifferentvoices.Explorewithfurtherquestionssuchas:

• Whatdidyounoticehappenasyouread?• Whatdoesyouradvisorsoundlike?• Usepromptstoidentifywhattheirownadvisorsoundslike(Yoda,aGPS,EddieMurphy,

GeorgeCostanza’smotherfromSeinfeld,mymum)PoemforMyAdviserSoundsLikeactivity

magic

Readthistoyourself.Readitsilently.

Don’tmoveyourlips.Don’tmakeasound.

Listentoyourself.Listenwithouthearinganything.

Whatawonderfullyweirdthing,huh?

NOW MAKE THIS PART LOUD!

SCREAM IT IN YOUR MIND!

DROWN EVERYTHING OUT.

Now hear a whisper. A tiny whisper.

Now,readthisnextlinewithyourbestcrotchety-old-manvoice:

“Hello there, sonny. Does your town have a post office?”

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Awesome!Whowasthat?Whosevoicewasthat?

Certainlynotyours.

Howdoyoudothat?How?

Mustbemagic

Bo Burnham

Step4Createhelpfulrulesontheuseoftheadvisor

BecomeaDNA-vshifter

Learningtousetheadvisorwellrequirestesting,modifyingandwherenecessarycreatingnewrulesforourselves.WecancreatenewDNA-vrules,suchas“IcanlearntobeaDNA-Vshifter”,Or“Iamcapableofbuildingfriendships”.Wecantestoutrulesbysteppingintothediscovererspaceandtryingthem,thenmodifyingorcreatingnewrulesbasedonwhatourexperienceshowsus.

Weaskthem–

• Whenyouarestuck:o Canyoustepintonoticing,takeabreath,andjustbecomeawareofyourself-talk?o Canyoustepintodiscoveryandtrytodosomethingnewordifferent?

• Asyoubecomeawareofyouradvisor,considerifyourself-talkishelpingyoutoconnectwithvitality,protectingyou,orsomethingelse.

Yougettochoosewhentolistentotheadvisor

Instructions

Havestudentsstandandgetintopairs.

Askthemtochoosewhichoneofthedyadwillbetheadvisor.Playfullypointoutthattheiradvisor

wouldbeatworkalreadytryingtodecideiftheywantthisroleornot.Theotherpersonbecomesa

‘person’.

Foroneminutetheadvisorgetstotellthepersonwhattodo(e.g.dostarjumps,talkinaFrench

accentetc.)andtheymustdoexactlywhattheiradvisorsays.With2rules,theymuststayinthe

room,andtheycannotbemean.

Now,explaintheyaregoingtodothesamethingforasecondminute,butthistimethe‘person’

getstousetheirnoticerandanewadvisorrule,“Icanjustbeaware,Idon'thavetodoit”.

Later,tellthemthattheycanchoosewhetherornottheywanttodoit.Onceagainhavetheadvisor

tellthepersonwhattodo.Andallowthepersontostepintonoticer,ortojustobservetheiradvisor

rulesandchooseiftheywanttoobey.

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Discussionshouldinclude:• Sometimesitisnicejusttodowhattheadvisorsays,choosingcanbehard• Whathappenstotheiradvisorwhenwedidn'tfollowwhattheysaid–“theygotlouder,

moreinsistentetc.”• Discusshowourinnervoicecanbejustlikethis.Ifwetrytoignoreit,sometimesitgets

louderandit‘seems’asifwemustobey,butwealwaysgettostepintothenoticerspace,pauseandtakeabreath,orsteptothediscovererspaceandchooseanewactivitytodo.

Hometask

• Askstudentstospendtimethisweek“gettingtoknow”theiradvisorsbylisteningtoit.• Askiftheycanidentifypatternsandincreaseawareness.• Askthemtonoticewhathappensiftheystepintotheirnoticerspaceandbreathe.• Askthemwhathappensiftheythinkaboutthehelpfulnessoftheruleintermsof

connectingwithwhattheycareabout?

Endingthesession

• Checkhomepracticeiswrittenintheworkbook• Checkforquestionsorcomments• Thankeveryone• Considercollectingtheworkbooksupandbringingthemnextweek• Reminderthatanyonewhoisworriedorconcernedcanconnectafterthesession.

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PromptsfortheLionsintheGrassgame

THESILENTADVISOR–youdon'tdoanythingtohelp.

Juststandthereanddon'thelpatall

THEOBEDIENTADVISOR–youseethatproblemsanddangers,butyoushutupwhenyouaretoldto.Saythingslikethistoannoyyourperson:

“Thatlooksrisky”

“Whatdoyouthinkweshoulddohere?”

“Doyouthinkit’ssafe?”

–andshutupwhenyourpersontellsyouto

THEMELLOWVOICE–Youseesomethingsbutnothingreallybothersyou.

“Isthatalion,nah,Ithinkit’justgrass”

“AmIgoingtomissdinner–nahthey’llwaitforme”

“AmIgoingtogetkilled–noitwillbefine”

THEADVISOR–Youwatchoutfordangerandreportitveryloudlyandforcefully.Youwon’tbesilenced.

“Thereisdangeroverthere”

“It’stoodangerous”

“Don’tdothat,youmightgetkilled”

“Waitaminute”

“Stopit’stoorisky”

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30|P a g e

SESSION4-DISCOVERER

Equipment

• YouTubeclipofbabyrespondingtomumblowinghernosehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBppBPvMTk8

• YouTubeclipweareallscared-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGmAekTPD5c• Sweetsorchocolatethatcannotbeeasilyidentified.Forexample:WarHeads(extreme

sours)takenoutoftheirpackets,orsaltedchocolate.• Strengthcards–eitheronesetforagroupof4or5,oroneseteachperson.Thesecanbe

downloadedfreefrom–http://thrivingadolescent.com/2016/01/19/strength-spotting-card-sort-free-download/

Aimofthesession-TheDiscovererasaprocess

TheaimofthesessionistointroducetheDiscoverer.Thisistheprocesshelpingyoungpeopletoexploreinordertodevelopskillsandresources,andexpandtheircontext.Itincludes:

Beginningstepsinclude:

• trackingwhatisworking(ABC)• buildingstrengths• creatingvalues• explorenewanduntestedbehaviour

RecapandReflection

• RecapAdvisor–awordweusetodescribehowweuseourinnervoicetonavigatethepresentandpredictthefuture.Looksforproblemsanddanger.Withacriticaladvisorwecanmakeourselvesstrangerstoeachotherbyassumingwearetheonlyones.Whatifweallknewthateveryoneiscritical?

• CheckexamplesofAdvisor–didyoutrynoticingyouradvisor?Whathappened?• RecapNoticer–ourability,thatweallhave,tonoticeourinnerandouterexperiencesand

chooseourreactionwithawareness• CheckexamplesofNoticer–haveyoubeenabletonoticeandbecomeawareofyour

feelingsinsteadofjustreacting?Whathappens?

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Whatisadolescencefor?

Beginwithadiscussiononwhywehumansmighthaveanadolescence,coveringthekeytasksofadolescentsanddiscussingwhattheymighthelpusdo.Somepointstoinclude:

• Humanandanimaladolescentssharesomesimilarcharacteristics,particularlyrisktaking,loveofnovelty,sensationseeking,andchangesinrelationships(readCiarrochiandHayes,L.(inpress)formoreinformationonevolutionandadolescenceandthisimportantdiscovererbehaviour)

• Someofthesecharacteristicshelpadolescentstryadultroles.• Somehelptobroadenandbuildstrengths,testingoutwhatwelove,fail,andtryagain;e.g.

aneathairstyleonemonth,purplehairthenext.• Discusshowimportantitistotrymanyadultrolesandbehavioursinordertogain

independence.• Concludewiththeideathatthesethingsaretheessenceofthediscoverer.

Meetyourdiscoverer

Sampledialogue:

Thediscovereristhepartofusthatlearnsbydoing–wetrynewthings,experimentandgivethings

ago.Thinkofitlikeababylearningtowalk,standingupandfallingdown.Thatisababybeinga

discoverer.

Nowforteens,it’sallabouttrialanderror,andlearningaswego,andaswefail.

Howdoyouthinktheadvisorinyouisgoingtofeelsaboutdiscovereraction?Theadvisor’sroleof

keepingussafe,usingpastlearning,predicting,insteadoftrialanderrorlearning.Summarise–your

advisorprobablywon’tlikesomepartsofthisbecauseitsjobistokeepussafe.

Howdoesthediscoverergetalongwiththenoticerdoyouthink?Whathappenstoyourfeelings

andinnersensationswhenyoutrynewthings?

Weneedflexiblenoticerskillsbecausestandingupforyourself,tryingnewthings,takingrisks,

learningtobeindependentetc.,allcomewithanxietyorfearoffailure.Flexiblenoticerskillswill

helpyoucopewiththestrongemotionsgeneratedbydiscovering,includinglikeworry,fearand

embarrassment.

Youshouldalsorecapflexiblenoticingskills–takeabreathandnoticewhatisgoingoninyourbody.

Askthemtothinkaboutatimewhentheyhavetriedsomethingnew.Howdidyoufeel?Whenever

youhavetriedsomethingnewyouwillalwaysbeanxious.ConfidencecomesAFTERthat.

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Thediscovererisaboutlookingatwhatwehavebeendoing,tryingthings,seeingiftheyworkout,

seeingwhatwearereallycapableof,growing,gettingstrongerallofthetime.

WhenwestarttouseallourDNA-vwelearntoshiftwhenwearestuck.Whenyougetstuckyou

move,fromdiscoverer,tonoticertoadviser.

VideoonBabyreactingtomumblowinghernose

ShowthefollowingYouTubeclipandaskthemtothinkaboutthebaby’sdiscovererandalsowhathemightbefeelinginthisnewexperience.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBppBPvMTk8

Discussiononthevideo:

Sampledialogue

Thisbabyislearningabrandnewthing.Takingariskofsomethingnewhehasneverexperienced.Hehasfearinhisbodyandyethedoesn’trunaway.Hefeelsthesensation,andhismumhelpshimstaywithit.Thisiswherewestartaskids.Thebabyistakingbabyrisks.Nowadolescentriskisalittledifferent,thereisadaptiveriskvsmaladaptiverisk

Createanopendiscussionaroundtherisksadolescencemustfaceastheylearnindependence.

Keypointstoincludeare:

• Ouraimwiththediscovereristobroadenandbuildrepertoiresofbehaviour.Thisincludesfosteringadaptiverisktaking.Hereweneedtodrawthedistinctionbetweenadaptiveandmaladaptiverisk.

• Adaptiveriskincludesthingslikestatingyouropinion,standingupforwhatyoubelievein,evenifyouropiniondifferstoothers,notbeingabystandertobullying,andlearningtodisagree.Riskdoesn’thavetolooklikestandingonastageandsingingtoanaudienceortrainsurfing.Itcanalsobelearningtohaveyourownmindandchooseyourbehaviour.Itbeginswithavoice,saying“Idon’twantittobelikethis.”And“Ivalueandcareaboutthat”

• Maladaptiveriskisreinforcingintheshortterm,butdoesn’tworkoutforayoungpersoninthelongterm.Inotherwords,itdoesn'thelpbuildalifeofvitalityandvalue.Itisimportantheretofacilitateadiscussionwiththeyoungpeopleonwhatmightbemaladaptivevsadaptive,ratherthantellingthemwhattheyshouldn'tbedoing.Thereissufficientresearchshowingthatkeyingintoyoungpeople’sneedforvitalityandvaluehasbetteroutcomesthanadviceonwhatnottodo(Cohen,2006;Shermanetal.,2013).

Thereareawholelotofthingsyouhavetolearntobeindependent.Akeyistolearnhowtomanagetherisk

SeeingallD,NandAinasweetexercise

ThepurposeofthisactivityistopracticesteppingacrossallthebehavioursinD,N,andA.Wedothisbyusingadisguisedsweetorchocolate.

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Extremesoursweetssuchas‘WarHeadextremesours’orchocolatewithunidentifiedflavourslikesaltorchilliworkwell.

Instructions:

Note:Beforethisactivity,takethesweetsoutofthewrapperssotheyarenotidentifiable.Don'tletthegroupseethem.Puttheminbowlwithalidsotheyarehidden.

Shakethebowlsoitmakesanoiseandaskthegrouptotellyouwhattheythinkitis.

IdentifytheAdvisor:

Whatevertheyguessistheiradvisorbehaviour.Theirhistoryoflearningwhatanoiselikethismight

be(guesseswillincludesweets,buttons,marblesetc.)Thenrevealwhatisinthebowlandgetsome

moreadvisorevaluations(Idon'tlikethem,Iwasrightetc.).AskabouttheAdvisor–whatistheir

mindsaying?Whatjudgementsandevaluationsaretheyforming?Whatistheadvisortellingthem

todo?Isthereanyproblemsidentified?

Handoutonesweettoeachperson.Requestpeopledon’tgiveitawayiftheyworkoutwhatweare

doing.Askthegrouptowaitforeveryonebeforetasting.

IdentifytheNoticer:

Askthemtostepintothenoticerspace.Whatdoesthesweetsmelllike?Whatbodysensationsare

goingonrightnow?Whatemotionsordesiresaretheyawareof?

IdentifytheDiscoverer:

Now,stepintotheDiscovererspaceandseewhattheexperienceofeatingittellsthem.Wastheir

experiencethesameastheiradvisorsaidordifferent?Somewillbecorrect,somewillbewrong,

somewillsayittastedbetterorworsethanwhattheythought.

SummarisewithdiscussionabouthowlifelivedwithstrengthisonewhereweuseallourD,NandA.Andlearntochangeflexibly.

Discusshowthediscovererisabouttryingthings,andyouradvisorornoticerwon’talwaysbe

correctunlessyoutrytheexperience.Theycanalsousetheirdiscoverertolearnfromexperience,is

thissomethingthatwasgoodforthem?Wouldtheyeatthisagain?

BuildingStrengths

Facilitatorsshouldintroducetheconceptofstrengths.Formoreonthistopic,readTheThrivingAdolescentchapterontheDiscoverer(Hayes,L.L.&Ciarrochi,2015).Beclearthatwearenotreferringtocharacterstrengths,ratherweareattemptingtobuildbehavioursthatyoudo.Notwhatyouare.Forexample,Idokindthings,notIamkind.

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Strengthcards–theycanbedownloadedfreefromthislink-http://thrivingadolescent.com/2016/01/19/strength-spotting-card-sort-free-download/

Instructions:

Dividetheyoungpeopleintogroupsoffour.Putcardsonthefloorinthemiddleandaskeachyoung

persontochoose3strengthstheyhave.Oriftheyknoweachotherwelltheycanchooseonethey

haveandonetheyseeinanotherperson.

Astheychoose,askthemtobeawareofwhattheiradvisertellsthem(‘youreallycan’tchoosethat

strength,peoplewilldisagree’)andalsowhattheynoticeintheirbodyandfeelings(nervousetc.)

andalsowhattheymightdowithoutthinking(lowdiscoverer).Askthemtochooseboldnesshere,

tochoosetobediscoverers.

Askthemtodiscussintheirsmallgroupshowstrengthscanbehelpfulandusedtobuildvalue,but

sometimeswecanusethemwithoutthinkingandtheytakeusawayfromwhatwecareabout–e.g.

honestyisgoodforrelationships,butcanalsobetheoppositebecauseitcanbebrutalandcanbe

hardforotherstohear.

Eachpersonshouldcomeupwith3waystosharewiththesmallgroup

1) Howcanyoubuildthisstrength?2) Howcanyoubuildthisstrengthinyourgroup?3) Howcanyoubuildthisstrengthinyourliveswithfamily,friends,orclassrooms?

Tryit,trackit,buildit

Animportantpieceofthediscovereristeachingyoungpeoplehowtotracktheoutcomesoftheiractions,aswellashowtotracktheoutcomesofnewinitiatives.

Afunwaytointroducethisistoreturntheexercises‘pensayswoo’intheadvisormodule.Simplyholdupthepenatanoddtime,andwhensomeofthegroupsay‘woo’,discusshowthisisanadvisorrule,andonepartofthediscovereristoworkouthowusefulourrulesareinasituation.Sohowusefulisthisnow?

Followthiswithanopenupadiscussion,withafunaspecttoo,ofhowwehumansdothesamethingoverandoverandexpectsomethingdifferenttohappen.

Exampledialogue

Often,wehumansjustkeepdoingthesamethingoverandoverexpectingadifferentoutcome.We

dosomething,andthensuddenlyseehowitisjustmoreofthesame?Forexample,Ioncefound

myselfarguingwithmyson,eachtimewehadadifferentopinion,hewouldstarttogetlouder,andI

wouldgetlouder,anditwouldgoonandon.Untilonedaymyothersonsaid,“youtwoalwaysdo

this,itneverchanges”.SoIstoppedandthought,‘HmmwhatisthethingIamdoing?AndwhatamI

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getting?”Irealisedthatwehadthisoverandoverwayofarguingthatneverchanged.Sonexttime,I

decidedtodosomethingdifferenttoseewhatwouldhappen.Thisisanexampleoftracking.

Canyouthinkofthingsyoukeepdoing,overandover?Letthegroupsharesomeexamplesandif

youcan,haveabitoffunwiththeideathatwehumansarefunnycreatures.Wegetstuckeasily.

Forexamplereactingtoanannoyingteacherinthesameway;goingintoaclasswiththesame

negativeattitude;respondinginthesamedismissivewaywhenyourmumaskshowschoolisgoing,

engaginginthesame“judgey”conversationswheneveryouarewithacertaingroupofgirls.

Keypointstoinclude• Discusshowsomebehavioursweengageinoverandovercanbecomeaproblem.Becoming

moreskilledasadiscovererisaboutseeingwhenwearestuckdoingthesamethingoverandover–lowdiscovererisnottrying.

• Askthegroup,howtheywouldknowifabehaviourishelpfulornot?Pointthemtotheideathatourbehaviourismessyandhardtoalwaysknowwhatwewantordon'twant.Trackingisawaytohelpuswiththat.

• Wecanbeginthisbyfollowingthese3simpleideaswhenwefeelstuck.

Discoverers-try,track,&build:

• 1.Tryit-Ourthoughtsorfeelings(advisorandnoticer)arenotthesameastryingoutanexperience.

• 2.Trackit-Ourexperiencehelpsusdecideifourbehaviourisontherighttrack.Askyourself,“WhathappenedwhenIdidthat?”

• 3.Buildit-Weusecuriosity,exploration,andtestingtobuildourstrengthsandcreatethingswecareabout.

Discoverermovesdon’talwayshavetobebigthings.Canbesimplelike

• Takeabreathanddon’trunaway• Learnhowtotakeabreathbeforeyouhaveanargumentwithsomeone• Pausebeforeyoupostsomethingonsocialmedia.

DNA-vinaction

Thewalkoflifeexercise(Hayes,L.L.&Ciarrochi,2015)

ThisisanopportunitytoputDNA-valltogether.Itiseasiesttoreadthe“WalkofLife”scriptonthethrivingadolescent.comfirst(http://thrivingadolescent.com/adolescent-resources/thriving-adolescent-book-downloads/

Suggestparticipantstryandmakesomenotesintheirworkbookastheydothisactivity

Adaptedscriptforagroup:

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Facilitators,alongwithstudents,canchoosearelevantscenarioforthegroupandactouta‘Walkof

life’exercise,havingthestudentsallroleplaypartsofthemodel.

Askfortwovolunteerstoroleplaya“fictitiousproblem”(we’llrefertothemasthe‘student’from

nowon).Chooseaproblemthatisquitefamiliartoall–bullying,friendsfighting.

Dividetheremainingintofoursmallergroups(withatleast2peopleineachgroup),theyrepresent

discoverer,noticer,advisor,andvaluer.Nowyouhaveoneortwostudentswithaproblem,and

fourgroupsrepresentingD,N,AorV.Havethesefourgroupssittogetherinadiscshape,likethe

DNA-vdiskifyoucan.

Begintheroleplay:

Tooneorbothofthe‘students’whohastheproblem/struggle:“Imagineyouarestudentstruggling

withaproblem.Whatmightthatbe?”Note,useamadeupbutcommonproblemandhavethetwo

volunteerspretendtheyhave‘it’.Thisallowsalloftheyoungpeopletostandintheirshoes.Sothere

aretwopeopleintheroleplay,the“targetperson”whoistryingnewbehaviorsandthe“Helper”

whoissettingupthesocialsituation,e.g.,bypretendingtobeabully,adifficultfriend,ateacher,a

parent,etc.Thetwovolunteersroleplaythesituation,e.g.,ofthehelperbullyingthetargetperson.

Then,theystopinthemiddleoftheroleplay,andtheDNA-Vgroupsarepromptedtorespond

TotheVgroup:Let’sasktheVgroupwhatthisstudentmightcareabout?Allowthestudentsto

comeupwithideas.Promptifneeded:-Perhapstheyliketohavefriends,toplaysport,tosingor

dance.(Notewatchforideasthatareclingingtostates,“Wanttobehappy”oravoidingstates,i.e.

“Wantnottobeanxious”.Iftheseclinging/avoidingstatescomeup,asktheVgroup:‘Whatmight

thisstudentbeabletodoiftheywerehappythathe/sheisnotdoingnow?’or‘Whatwouldhe/she

beabletodoifyoutheywerenotworriedaboutbeinganxious?”

Ask‘students’tosteptotheadvisorgroup.

Nowlet’sasktheadvisorgroupwhatthetargetpersonislikelytobeexperiencing.Whatkindof

thingswouldthisstudentbesayingabouttheirself?Wouldtheybeblamingothersorthemselves?

Whatbeliefs,judgements,evaluationsmighttheyhave?“PerhapsI’manidiot.Theyarestupid.I

gotitwrong.TheythinkI’manidiot.I’mafraid.”.

Havethe‘students’saysomeofthesethingsandthensay,“Youseemstuckinyouradvisor,oneof

theeasiestthingstodoistostepintothenoticerspace.Let’strythat.It’snottheonlythingwecan

do,butitisonething.”Askthestudenttosteptothenoticergroup.

Tothenoticergroup:

Ok,thestudentshavesteppedtonoticing(asktheNoticergrouptohelpher/himout).Whatmight

thistargetpersonnoticeinsidethemrightnow?Promptfordifficultfeelings,nervousness,etc.

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Nowask:“Whathavewelearnedthatwecandointhenoticerspace?Promptfor–(1)takeabreath

ortwo,(2)noticewhat’sitliketobehereinsteadofoverthereonadvisorspace,(3)noticewhatis

aroundthem.Thenask–“Whatothernoticerskillscouldshe/heusenow?”(Promptfornaming,

allowing,pausing,expandingawareness,beingmindfulofothersfeelingsetc.).

Askthe‘students’iftheyarewillingtopracticesomeofthesenoticingskillswhilethegroup

encourage.

Thenask:“Whataboutthediscoverers?Theyhavenothingtodo.Perhapswecangooverthere

too?”.

Havethe‘students’movetothere.

Tothediscoverergroup:

Let’saskthediscoverergrouptohelpusout.“Whatcanadiscovererdohere?Becurious.Trysome

experiencetheyhaven’ttriedbefore?Theycouldseewhatisworking.Whatnewthingsmightyou

try?

Promptforsmallthings.Pointoutthatjustmovingintonoticer,ordiscovererisdoingsomething

too.

Maybeaskwhatstrengthsthis‘student’has?

(Note:watchoutforbigthingswhichareacontrolagenda,e.g.“SoIcouldtellmyselfI’mnotreallya

loser”).

Finally,askthestudenttostepbacktotheadvisorgroupandask:

“Whatnewthinkingrulescanthisstudent’sadvisorlearn?”

Promptfornewrulesthatconnectwithvitality.Forexample,“It’soktobenervous”or“Myadvisor’s

jobistolookoutfordangersoitisoftencritical”.

Nowredotheroleplay,thistimewiththetargetpersontryingsomenewresponsetothehelper.

Youcanrepeatthisprocessasmanytimesasseemseffective.

Groupdiscussion:

Spendsometimehavingthewholegrouptalkabouteachrole,whattheybecameawareof,howitmightbetrueornottrueforthem.

Keymessage

• ThekeywithDNA-visbecomingaDNA-vshifter,wheneveryouarestuckyougettomovetoanotherskill.

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Hometask

• Askstudentstospendsometimethisweekpracticingbecomingawareofwhentheyare

stuckinnoticer,advisorordiscoverer• Makeadecisiontomovefromonespacetoanother.• Askthemtonoticewhathappenswhentheystepintoadifferentspace.

Endingthesession

• Checkhomepracticeiswrittenintheworkbook• Checkforquestionsorcomments• Thankeveryone• Considercollectingtheworkbooksupandbringingthemnextweek• Reminderthatanyonewhoisworriedorconcernedcanconnectafterthesession.

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Session5-Values

Equipment

• YouTubeclip:Seconds-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdymCQ5PXrs• Valuescards–onesetforeachstudent(theydonotkeepthem).

o Thesecanbedownloadedfreefrom–http://thrivingadolescent.com/2016/01/19/strength-spotting-card-sort-free-download/

o Orpurchasedwithallproceedsgoingtocharityfromhttp://thrivingadolescent.com/shop/inAustralia,orfromhereintheUK/Europehttps://contextualconsulting.co.uk/act-values-conversation-cards

• Valueshandoutattheendofthissession.1perstudent• Successscenarioshandout

Aimofthesession-Valueasaprocess

Theaimofthissessionistocreatecontextswithvaluepresent,andthentohelpyoungpeopleconnectthiswithaction.Valueistheprocessofhelpingtocreatecontextsthatempoweryoungpeopletoclarifywhatbringsthemvitalityorvalueandthentochoosevalueconsistentactions.

• Valueisanaugmentedrulethatisusedtoconnectcurrentbehaviourwithfuturehopedforoutcomes

• Itisconstructedfromlanguage(wespeakaboutit,andindoingsowecreatedit)• Itisconstructedaboutpatternsofbehaviourthatareintrinsicallyreinforcing• Itisconstantlychangingandevolving

RecapandReflection

• RecapanddiscusswhattheyrememberaboutNoticer,AdvisorandDiscoverer.• Remindthemthattheyareallgoodandthekeytaskistolearntomove.• Checkifanyonehasanexampleofnoticer,advisorordiscoverer,orofmovingfromhome

practice.

Smallthingsmatter

Seconds-YouTubeclockvideo

Thepurposeofthisactivityistogeteveryonethinkingabouthowsmallmomentsarethebuildingblockstowhatwelove.Howsmallthingsmatter.Wecancreatelifeinjustsmallmomentsoftime,itdoesn’thavetobebiggrandplans,itcanbesmilingatafriend.

Itdoesn'thavetobegoalsthatareworldchanging.Smallactionshaveconsequences.

Openagroupdiscussionaboutthekindofsmallthingsthatcreatewonderfulmoments.Pointlooselytoexamplesthatthesixwaysofwellbeing.Wecoverthe6waysinsession6sononeedtogooverit,butdointroducevariabilityinthediscussion,forexampleafunnyphoto(noticingnow)a

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textfromafriend(connecting),passingatest(challengingoneself),thedelightofsleepingin(self-care),etc.

IntroduceValues

FacilitatorsshouldintroducetheconceptofValues.

Sampledialogue

SofarwehavelearnedaboutD,NandA,andpracticedhowtomovearound.We’vealsotalkeda

littlebitaboutV,whatyouvalue,buttodaywearegoingtospendabitoftimeworkingoutwhat

YOUvalue,whatisinyourheart,whatyoucareabout,orwhatmakesyourlifemeaningful.

Weusethewordvalues,andyoucanthinkofitabitlikeacompass.Youcanlearnaboutvalueto

helpkeepyoulivewell,keepyoudoingthethingsyouloveandgettingunstuckwhenyouarehaving

atoughtime.Butjustlikeapointonacompassyouneverreachvalue.Justasyoucanneverstop

andsay“HereIamatWest”.ThereisalwaysWesttoheadtowards,inthesamewayyouwillnever

gettoapointandsay“Ihavedonekindness,thatistickedoffIdon’tneedtodothatanymore”.

Valuescardsort

Thepurposeofthisactivityistofacilitateidentificationofasetof3-4personalvaluesbyeachadolescent.ItisexplainedinfullinTheThrivingAdolescent(Hayes,L.L.&Ciarrochi,2015).

Instructions:

Handasetofvaluescardtoeachstudent.Askthestudentstothinkaboutwhatisclosesttotheir

heart,whattheylove,whattheycareabout.Itdoesn’tmatterifitissomethingtheydon’thave

muchof,itcanstillbesomethingtheyareabout.Askthemtothinkaboutliferightnow,notinthe

futureorthepast.

Studentsshouldsortthecardsinto3piles,onepilethat“doesn’tmattermuchrightnow”,onepile

that“mattersafairbitrightnow”,andonepilethat“mattersmostrightnow”.

Oncetheyhavedonethis,askthestudentstospreadoutthe“mattersmost”pileandselectJUST3

or4cardsthataremostimportanttothem.

Whenthecardsortiscompleteaskthestudentsto:

• talkinasmallgrouporpairsaboutwhytheychosethat,andaboutcommonalities• findsomeonewhohasthesamevalue• hearwhattheiradvisorissayingastheytrytoanswerquestions• noticewhatemotionsariseastheytalkabouttheirvalue• talkofwhatdiscoveriestheyhavemadeaboutthisvalue

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Valueshandoutactivity

Usingthevalueshandout,askstudentstowritetheir3-4chosenvaluesinthecircles.

Askstudentstochooseanactiontoengagemorewithoneoftheirvalues.Goalsneedtobesmall

andmeasurable,avoidgoalsthatareunrealistic(forexample;I’mgoingtobenicetoeveryoneall

week).Askthemtostudentstowritetheirgoalinthesquareboxes

Askwhetherafewstudentsarepreparedtoshareavaluesandgoaltofacilitateadiscussionandcheckforanyunrealisticorunmeasurablegoals.

StrengthsforvalueisSuccess

Thepurposeofthisactivityistointroducetheconceptsofusingyourstrengthstoconnectwithwhatyoucareabout.DiscusshowsuccessinDNA-visusingD,NandAinwaysthathelponebecomemoreflexible,getunstuckquicker,andtuneintotheprocessoftryingratherthantheoutcomeasameasureofsuccess.Strengthsforsuccesshandoutcanbeused.InstructionsBreakintosmallgroupsandusethesuccessscenariostogeneratesmallgroupdiscussionsaboutsuccess.Feedback.

Hometask

• Makeamovetowardavaluebycompletingtheirgoal.• Askstudentstonoticewhattheirmindistellingthemaboutsuccessoverthenextweek.

Endingthesession

• Checkhomepracticeiswrittenintheworkbook• Checkforquestionsorcomments• Thankeveryone• Considercollectingtheworkbooksupandbringingthemnextweek• Reminderthatanyonewhoisworriedorconcernedcanconnectafterthesession.

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SuccessScenarios(Ciarrochi,Hayes,L.L.&Bailey,2012)

PromotingFairnessYouvaluePromotingFairness.Thereisaboyatschoolwhoseemsreallyunhappyanddoesn’thavemanyfriends.Youseehimgettingpickedonatlunchtimebytwootherkids.Yougoovertohelphimandaskhimwhatisgoingon.Heisreallymeantoyouandtellsyouhecanlookafterhimselfandyoushouldjustmindyourownbusiness.Hewalksoffandtheother2kidslaughatyou.

Didyousucceed?

WorkingCooperativelyYouvalueWorkingCooperatively.Youhaveagroupprojecttodoforschool.Youdidyourbestontheprojectandtriedtoincludeallofyourgroup.Youhelpedthegroupshareouttheworkevenlyandmakesureeveryonehadanequalaboutofworktodo.Youorganisedafewgroupmeetingstoworktogetherbutsomepeopledidn’tturnup.Youfinishedyourpartofitontime.Youhelpedanotherpersonfromyourgroupwhowasstuck.Intheenditdidn’tworkoutwellbecausesomepeopledidn’tdotheirsections.Yourgroupdidn’tgetaverygoodmarkfortheproject.Youfindoutthebestmarkwenttoagroupwhereonepersondidthewholeprojectherselfbecauseshesaidhergroupwasuselessandtheirworkwouldn’thavebeenanygood.Didyousucceed?

BeingkindYouvalueKindness.Youarekindandmakefriendswithagirlinyourclasswhoinnewtoyourschool.Youintroducehertoyourfriendsandshestartshangingoutwithyou.Youtalkandlaughalot,listentoeachother,watchoutforeachother.Shegetsaboyfriendandstartshangsoutwithhimallthetime.Shestopshangingoutwithyou.Youhardlyhearfromheranymore.

Didyousucceed?

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Havingcourage

YouvalueCourage.Thereisanewgirlatschoolthisyearandyoureallylikeher.Sheissogorgeousandseemsreallyfriendly.Shesmilesandlaughsallthetime,sheismakingfriendsatyourschoolreallyquickly.Youwanttoaskheroutbutyouaresonervousitishardtoevensayhello.Yousuckupallyourcourageandaskherifshewantstowalktothecaféafterschool.Shesaysshecan’tbecauseshehasbasketballpractice.Shewalksawayandyoufeelreallyconfusedandembarrassed.

Didyousucceed?

BeingsupportiveYouvalueBeingSupportive.Youusedtoplayfootballfortheschoolteambutyougetsickhalfwaythroughtheseasonandcouldn’tplay.Youarereallydisappointedbecauseyouloveplayingfootballandallyourfriendsplayontheteam.Theteamdoesreallywellandgetstothefinalsandyoustillaren’tabletoplay.Youareinvitedtothemoviesonthedayofthefinalbutyougotothegametosupportyourteamandwatchyourfriendsplayfootball.Theyplayreallybadlyandlose.It’saterribleday.

Didyousucceed?

PersistingYouvaluepersisting.Youreallywanttoplaysoccerforyourschoolteam.Yougototrainingallpreseasonandlistentothecoach.Youdoexactlywhatisaskedofyou,trainreallyhardandplayreallywellinthetryouts.Youdon’tgetselectedontheteam.Thecoachsaysyouwereveryclose,andyoushouldkeeppractisingandtryoutagainnexttime.Youarereallydisappointed.

Didyousucceed?

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Session6–Self-viewandtheSixwaysofwellbeing

Equipment

• YouTubeclip-‘Weareallscared’https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGmAekTPD5c• DNA-vdiscfromworkbook• Spinningwheelfromhere(ormakeyourownonpaper)

http://www.louisehayes.com.au/valued-action-wheel/• Posterpaper–blackiscoolbutwhiteisoktoo• Graffitipensormarkers

Aimofthesession-Self-viewasaperspectiveofallourD,N,AandV

Selfisnotathing,butawayofseeinghowwecreateourselfthroughourchangingD,N,AandV.

Thissessioncoversselfinalightway,giventhatwearereferringtoschoolgroups.Ifyouaredoingtherapygroups,youmayneedtoconsideraddinginawholesessiononself,perspectivetakingandcompassion.

ReadthechaptersontheselfinactioninTheThrivingAdolescentforacomplexaccountoftheselfanddevelopment.

RecapandReflection

• Advisorishowwehavelearnedtotalktoourselves,andhowweusethistopredictandproblemsolve

• Discovereriswhatwedo–try,trackandbuild• Noticeriswhatwecanbeawareofinsideus,outsideus,andsensingsafetyordanger.• Checkifanyonehasexamplesfromlastsessionhometask

WhoareYou?

Beginwithadiscussionontheself,justallowthegrouptotalkgenerallyopeningupselfasaconcept:

• Whatisa‘self’?• Howwebecomea‘self’?• Doesourselfstaythesameorchange?

DrawingyourDNA-v

UsingtheDNA-vdischandoutintheirworkbook,askthestudentstodraw‘icons’thatrepresenteachprocessasuniquetothem.Besuretoaskthemtodopositiveandnegativeaspectsineach.Forexample,inadvisoronemightdrawaheadiconyellingtorepresentcriticalself-talk,andonealso

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mightdrawaheadiconthinkingtorepresentpositivereflection.Anexampleisshownbelowandcanbeshowntostudents.

Instructions

Askthestudenttotalkaboutwhichpartsofthediscare‘them’.

Askthemtodiscusswhathappenswhentheycanseenothingbutonething(youcanhavethem

blockpartofthedrawing),suchastheircriticaladvice,whathappenstotheotherpartsofthedisc?

Answer–theyarealwaysthere.

Thewholediscandallpartsofusarealwayspresent.

AskthemtonoticethatALLofthediscisthem.

Askthemtonoticehowthethingstheyputinthecirclecouldchangealotfromwhentheywere12

to16to22years.

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Makingourself

Showthe‘Weareallscared’YouTubeclip-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGmAekTPD5c

DiscusshowHankinthevideoisalsotalkingabouthowwemakeourselfbywhatwedo.Talkaboutthisinaliberatingway–wecanalwaysaddthings.

Theselfisn’treallyathing,andtheprocessofcreatingourselfhappenseveryday–smallthingsmatter.

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6waystowellbeing

Afunandsillyintro

Introducethegrouptotheideasthat:

• Wecanusesixwaystohelpourselvesenactvalue• Thatasweusethem,wearechanginghowweseeour‘self’• Smallthingsmatterforbuildingalifewecareabout

Sixwaystowellbeing

Connectingwithothers.Humansareessentiallysocial.Removeusfromoursocialgroup,andweare

likelytodeveloppoormentalhealth,getsick,anddie(Hawkley&Cacioppo,2010;Sarason&

Sarason,1985).Takeamomentnowtoanswerthisquestion:Whatismostimportantinyourlife?

Doesyouranswerinvolveotherpeople?

Givingtoothersandhavingapositiveinfluence.Givingisapatternofactivitythat’slikelytobe

forceduponyoungpeople.Evenso,researchsuggeststhatgivingmaybeintrinsicallyreinforcing

(Rillingetal.,2007),soifwecanfindwaystohelpyoungpeopleexperiencegiving,they’llbelikelyto

discovertheirownauthenticreasonsforgiving.Thereisnoneedtoforce-feedthemthisvalue.

Beingactive.Physicalactivityisassociatedwithgreaterwell-beingandlowerratesofdepression

andanxietyacrossallagegroups(Biddle&Ekkekakis,2005).Recentresearchalsosuggeststhat

activitymayimproveintellectualperformance(Singh,Uijtdewilligen,Twisk,vanMechelen,&

Chinapaw,2012).Inaddition,physicalactivitycanalsosupportothervalues,suchasconnectingwith

othersandembracingthemoment(Ciarrochietal.,2014).

Embracingthemoment.Thisbroadcategoryinvolvesfullypartakingofwhat-everisimmediatelyin

frontofus,ratherthanbeingfocusedonthefutureorthepast.Thisvaluespansmanyrealms,from

exploringandtravelingtoplayingmusicandenjoyingfood.Forthisreason,it’slikelytooverlapwith

manyifnotalloftheothercategoriesofvalues.

Challengingourselvesandlearning.It’samyththatpeoplearehappiestwhentheyhavenowork

andcanliveachallenge-freelife.Infact,evidencesuggeststhatunemploymentisoneofthe

strongestpredictorsofpoorwell-being(McKee-Ryan,Song,Wanberg,&Kinicki,2005).Researchers

havefoundthatwhenpeopleareimmersedinachallenge,theytendtoexperienceincreased

subjectivewell-being(Csikszentmihalyi&Hunter,2003).

Caringforourselves.Thiscategoryreferstoabroadrangeofself-carebehaviors,suchas

maintainingahealthydiet,gettingenoughsleep,anddoingsome-thingrelaxingafterahardday.

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Source:Hayes,L&Ciarrochi,J(2015).Thethrivingadolescent.

IntroducetheSpinningwheel,orsimplywritethe6waystowellbeingon6piecesofpaperandhavethemdrawnoutofahat.

Askthegroupiftheywouldbewillingtodooneoftheactivitiesnow.

Instructions

Spinthewheelordrawanameanactivityfromthehat.Invitethegrouptodooneofthewaysnow,

inanywaytheywant.(Wehaveseenyoungpeopledosomegreatthingswiththisactivity,sodolet

themfindaway.Someexampleswehaveseen,giving–theymightgiveahugorasmile,challenging

–theymightteachthegrouptosayhelloinanotherlanguage,orlearnasong).

SocialDNA-v

Using6waystowellbeingforusasagroup

Instructions

Spiltinto6groupsandhaveeachgrouprepresentoneofthewaysofwellbeing.

Giveeachgrouplargerbannersandgraffitipens.

Askeachgrouptobrainstormwhatbehaviourstheymightdotobuildthiswellbeingactivity.

Askthemtodrawordecoratetheirbannersoitrepresentswhatgivingmeanstothemhereat

school.

Makethisintoaposterthatshowswhateachwaycanmeanforthemasstudents.

Decoratethisgivingpagetoshowwhatactinginthiswaymeans.

Watchforpliance,i.e.writingwhattheythinktheyaresupposedtowrite.Youmayliketocallitoutfirst,i.e.‘wedon'tmean‘studentsmustfollowschoolrules’.Wemean,whatmatterstoyouinhowyouwanttoseeyourfellowstudents‘Giving’.

Avoidtoomanywordsasitcanbecomerulegoverned.

Debriefwhattheynoticedinthegraffitiexercise.

Thengivethegroupleadershipandbuilddiscoverystrengthsbyaskingthemhowtheyasagroupwouldliketomoveforwardwiththeirshared‘sixways’.

DiscusshowD,N,AandVareinallofus,andhowwearereciprocallyinfluencingeachother.

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Ifappropriatediscusshowtheymightsetagreedtasks.Forexample,onegroupofstudentmadevideosofthembuildingD,N,AandVintheirschool.

Closure

Askthegrouptocreatewaystosaygoodbyeandendthegroup.Someideas-photographingallthestudentswiththeirpostersfromtheactivityabove.WritingasharedDNA-vcreed.

Endingthesession

• Checkforquestionsorcomments• Handoutevaluations• Thankeveryone• Reminderthatanyonewhoisworriedorconcernedcanconnectafterthesession.

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References

Burnham,B.(2013).Egghead:Or,youcan’tsurviveonideasalone.London:OrionPublishing.Ciarrochi,J.,Atkins,P.W.B.,Hayes,L.L.,Sahdra,B.K.,&Parker,P.(2016).ContextualPositive

Psychology:PolicyRecommendationsforImplementingPositivePsychologyintoSchools.FrontiersinPsychology,7(1561).doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01561

Ciarrochi,J.&Hayes,L.L.(inpress). Shaping DNA (Discoverer, Noticer, and Advisor): A

Contextual Behavioral Science approach to youth intervention. In Wilson,D.S.&Hayes,S.C.(Eds.).(inpreparation).Evolutionandcontextualbehavioralscience:Areunification.Oakland,CA:NewHarbingerPublications.

Ciarrochi,J.Hayes,L.&Bailey,A.(2012).Getoutofyourmindandintoyourlifeforteens.Oakland

CA:NewHarbinger.(ForewordbyS.C.Hayes)

Cohen,G.,andSherman,D.(2014).Thepsychologyofchange.Self-affirmationandsocialpsychologicalintervention.Annual.Rev.Psychol.65,333–371.doi:10.1146/annurev-psych-010213-115137

DuFrene,T.,&Wilson,K.(2010).Thingsmightgoterribly,horriblywrong:Aguidetolifeliberated

fromanxiety:NewHarbingerPublications.

Hayes,L.L.&Ciarrochi,J.,(2015).Thethrivingadolescent:Usingacceptanceandcommitment

therapyandpositivepsychologytohelpteensmanageemotions,achievegoalsandbuild

connection.OaklandCA;NewHarbinger

Hayes,S.C.,&Smith,S.(2005).Getoutofyourmindandintoyourlife.OaklandCA:NewHarbinger.

Sherman,D.,Hartson,K.,Binning,K.,Purdie-Vaughns,V.,Gracia,J.,TAborsky-Barba,S.,etal.(2013).Deflectingthetrajectoryandchangingthenarrative:howself-affirmationaffectsacademicperformanceandmotivationunderidentifythreat.J.Pers.Soc.Psychol.104,591–618.doi:10.1037/a0031495