WISE WORDS Connecting with your community

‘CULTURAL CLUB WAS A GREAT WAY TO MEET OTHERS AND TO CELEBRATE OUR CULTURE WITH FOOD AND MUSIC.’

Geelong has a fantastic community that is rich in its diversity, with many well established multicultural communities from across the world calling the region ‘home’. As people get older, making connections to the local community can be a challenge, especially if English is not the first language. This booklet aims to inspire those older people from cultural and linguistically diverse backgrounds who may be experiencing loneliness, and are finding it difficult to know how to take that first step to connect.

Our local storytellers have shared a range of experiences, from joining and creating links and friendships when they first arrived, to the challenges and changes faced as they age. The individuals that have shared their wise words are culturally and linguistically diverse and their heritage stems from many areas of the globe, The Netherlands, Croatia, Italy and India.

On newly arriving some of the wise words shared included:

• ‘Church was a great place to meet people and connect with the community.’

• ‘Cultural club was a great way to meet others and to celebrate our culture with food and music.’

• ‘I made friends with a neighbour and she helped me find out what was available in the area.’

On growing older the story tellers tell of different challenges that come to the fore. There is a recognition that things are different however there is still a positive focus. Some of the wise words shared include:• ‘Frank really enjoyed going to the local

men’s shed and talking men’s things.’

• ‘A friend introduced me to a craft group that meets regularly over coffee.’

• ‘I go for a walk around my local streets in my neighbourhood or at the local shops and talk to the people that I meet.’

• ‘As I get older the neighbourhood house is a great place to meet people.’

• ‘Now as we get older, our health issues are making it more difficult, so now we go to the club to share a meal rather than for the music and dancing.’

Our story tellers remind us to ‘never give up’ and that ‘finding out where to go for help or just to be able to socialise with others is not always easy’ and ‘talking to people is the best way to start.’

We would like to thank the Department of Health and Human Services for the opportunity to make this vision happen.

Most importantly, we would like to sincerely thank the people that have so generously shared their stories as the experiences in their lives will assist others to enrich theirs.

Kelvin Spiller CEO City of Greater Geelong

For more information about groups and connecting with your local community, please do not hesitate to contact us at the City of Greater Geelong on 5272 5272.

Other useful numbers:

• Telephone Interpreter Service Phone: 131 450 (24 hours / seven days a week)

• Seniors Rights Victoria Helpline Phone: 1300 368 821 Monday to Friday.

Gelukkig kon ik Engels spreken, want dat had ik op school geleerd. Maar Frank niet – dus ik heb het hem geleerd. Wij kwamen aan als een pasgetrouwd stel in de jaren 50, een verhuisden naar de Geelong regio omdat een van Franks vrienden daar een paar jaar eerder naartoe verhuisd was. Die beginjaren waren niet gemakkelijk, dingen waren anders dan ik gewend was. Gewone levensmiddelen hadden andere namen en smaken. Ik herinner me dat ik olie had gekocht om slasaus te maken en dat het vreemd smaakte – toen een vriendin de fles nader bekeek ontdekte ze dat het castorolie was! Die fout heb ik zeker niet nog eens gemaakt!

Toen we ons bouwperceel kochten hadden we echt het gevoel dat we bij de gemeenschap hoorden. Als immigranten verkeerden we allemaal in dezelfde situatie en woonden we in huurcaravans of in optrekjes die we van houten droogplanken van Ford hadden gebouwd. Omdat Frank een opgeleid meubelmaker en timmerman was, kon hij een grotere caravan bouwen die net op tijd klaar was toen ons gezin begon te groeien. I herinner me dankbaar te zijn dat de baas van Frank mij bij zijn gezin liet logeren toen ik uit het ziekenhuis kwam met ons eerste kind, omdat Franks pasgebouwde caravan was omgewaaid! Frank begon kamer bij

ANN

kamer ons huis te bouwen (naarmate we ons dat konden veroorloven). De eerste kamer die hij bouwde was een slaapkamer, daarna voegde hij er een badkamer en bijkeuken aan toe, en langzamerhand de andere kamers. Frank maakte onze meubels ook en die ik gebruik nu nog!

Dat ik Engels kon spreken hielp veel, denk ik, want het maakte alles zoveel gemakkelijker – we begonnen vrijwel vanaf het begin naar de plaatselijke kerkdiensten te gaan en het hielp dat die diensten in het Latijn waren, maar het was erg vermoeiend omdat we nog steeds in onze eigen taal dachten en steeds moesten vertalen. De kerk was een uitstekende plek om mensen te ontmoeten en ons aan te sluiten bij de gemeenschap, omdat we allemaal jonge, pas begonnen gezinnen waren. Onze kinderen speelden samen en we hielpen elkaar allemaal. Iedereen was altijd buiten, misschien omdat onze caravans en optrekjes klein waren. Toen onze kinderen met school begonnen maakte ik nog meer vrienden, en werd uiteindelijk zelfs leidster van de padvindsters wat mijn zelfvertrouwen erg vergrootte.

Als Frank goed genoeg was, genoot hij er echt van om naar de plaatselijke "Men's Shed" (de schuur voor mannen) te gaan, en over mannenzaken te praten – hij deed dat veel liever dan naar het dagcentrum gaan. Een vriendin had mij geïntroduceerd tot een handarbeidgroepje dat regelmatig

bij elkaar kwam voor de koffie, en ik hoop spoedig weer te gaan en mijn patchwork mee te brengen. Soms denk ik weleens dat die eerste stap het moeilijkste is, om de conversatie te beginnen, maar het is eigenlijk net zo gemakkelijk als buiten in de voortuin te zijn en goedendag te zeggen wanneer mensen voorbij wandelen. De Engelse klassen in het immigrantencentrum proberen is een uitstekende manier om anderen te ontmoeten. Ook het betrokken zijn bij de kerk was goed omdat het ons toegang gaf tot groepen voor handarbeid, geloof en andere sociale groepen. Nu ik ouder word vind ik dat wandelen moeilijk is en ik afhankelijk ben van taxi's omdat ik zelf niet rijd. Veel van mijn vrienden zitten in hetzelfde schuitje, dus soms voel ik me eenzaam, maar het is belangrijk om nooit op te geven!

Try the English classes at the migrant centre, as this is a great way to meet others“ “

I was lucky, I could speak English as I had learned it at school, but Frank hadn’t so I taught him. We arrived as a newly married couple in the 1950s and moved to the Geelong area because one of Frank’s school friends had moved there a few years earlier.

Those early years were not easy, things were very different to what I was used to. Basic food items had different names and tastes, I remember buying some oil to make a salad dressing and it tasted funny – when a friend checked the bottle she noticed it was castor oil! I definitely didn’t make that mistake again!

When we bought our block we felt like we were part of a community, we were all in a similar situation as migrants and we were living in either rented caravans or in shacks that we had built from timber pallets from Fords. As Frank was a qualified cabinet maker/carpenter he was able to build a larger caravan which was finished just in time as our family started to grow. I remember feeling thankful that Frank’s boss let me stay with his family when I came home from hospital with our first born as Frank’s newly built caravan had blown over! Frank started to build our house one room at a time (as we could afford it). The first room he built was a bedroom, then adding a bathroom, laundry and gradually the other rooms. Frank also made our furniture which I still use now!

I think being able to speak English was a big help as it made things so much easier – we started attending local church

services almost straight away and having the services in Latin helped but it was very tiring as we still thought in our own language and had to translate all the time.

Church was a great place to meet people and connect with the community as we were all young families just starting out, our children played together and we all helped each other. Everyone was always outside, probably because our caravans and shacks were small. As our children started school I made some more friends, and I even ended up being a Girl Guides Leader which really helped to improve my self confidence.

When well enough, Frank really enjoyed going to the local Men’s Shed group and talking men things, he much preferred this to going to the day centre. A friend had introduced me to a craft group that meets regularly over coffee and I hope to go back soon bringing my patchwork. Sometimes I think the hardest thing is to take that first step, to start the conversation, but it can be as easy as being out in the front garden and just saying hello to people walking past.

Try the English classes at the migrant centre, as this is a great way to meet others, also being involved with the church was great as that gave us access to craft groups, faith groups and social groups.

Now as I get older I find that walking is difficult and I need to rely on taxis as I don’t drive. A lot of my friends are in the same boat so at times I get lonely but it’s important to never give up!

ANN

Scoprire dove andare per avere assistenza o semplicemente socializzare con gli altri, non è sempre facile, ed io trovo che parlare con la gente è il modo migliore di cominciare.

Crescendo in una famiglia italiana impegnata nel commercio di frutta e verdura, voleva dire che avere il coraggio di dare inizio ad una conversazione con degli sconosciuti, era veramente importante. Bisognava essere in grado di parlare con la gente per vendere i prodotti e per creare un rapporto che li faceva tornare per nuovi acquisti; non si trattava solo della qualità dei prodotti ma anche del servizio ai clienti.

Avere la fiducia in sé stessi di poter parlare con la gente mi ha anche aiutato nel mio lavoro di agente immobiliare e più tardi come avvocato.

La mia famiglia è originaria dalle isole Eolie che si trovano tra la Sicilia e l’Italia e, nonostante il nostro inglese fosse fluente, provammo un notevole antagonismo nei confronti dei “nuovi australiani”. Mi ricordo che durante i fine settimana, ce ne andavamo presso le piccole aziende agricole di Diggers Rest, Cottles Bridge e Wallan di proprietà dei miei zii dove potevamo essere noi stessi.

Io sono orgoglioso della mia discendenza italiana, che è importante per me, ma nel gestire negozi al dettaglio, ha significato che dovevamo parlare in inglese e ciò ci ha aiutato ad integrarci un pò di più e le cose gradualmente sono migliorate.

NAT

“ Ho anche trovato ot timo incontrare gli amici per giocare a carte o passare del tempo al club del posto.”

Io e mia moglie abbiamo avuto sei figli e quando erano piccoli, io commerciavo in frutta e verdura e non avevo molto tempo per socializzare; ciò era vero in parte anche quando tornai alla pratica di avvocato e fui in grado di portare i bambini a fare lo sport durante i fine settimana rendendo più facile fare amicizie.

Ho anche trovato ottimo incontrare gli amici per giocare a carte o passare del tempo al club del posto.

Il coraggio di dare inizio ad una conversazione mi giova anche adesso che sono invecchiato e quando starò meglio in salute mi propongo di fare del volontariato che secondo me è una buona opportunità per conoscere persone, specialmente adesso che sono da solo. Quando starò meglio, andrò a fare una passeggiata per le strade del mio vicinato oppure ai negozi vicini per

parlare con la gente che incontro.

Vado a fare esercizi aerobici in acqua alla piscina del posto che aiutano le mie gambe e mi forzano ad uscire di casa due volte la settimana; il gruppo è numeroso e mi piace rivedere facce conosciute ogni volta. Vado in piscina anche le altre mattine per camminare nell’acqua ed è facile dare inizio ad una conversazione con persone che fanno la stessa cosa.

Amo molto la lettura e cerco di andare in biblioteca il più spesso possibile; trovo che sia un buon metodo per sapere quello che succede nella zona. Spesso la biblioteca comunale organizza attività varie che sono un altro modo di far nuove conoscenze.

A volte sono anche andato da solo al cinema o al teatro ma preferisco andarci assieme ad un amico.

“ Ho anche trovato ot timo incontrare gli amici per giocare a carte o passare del tempo al club del posto.”

“ I go for a walk around my local streets in my neighbourhood or at the local shops and talk to the people that I meet.”

Finding out where to go for help or just to be able to socialise with others is not always easy but I find that talking to people is the best way to start. Growing up in an Italian family that operated fruit and vegetable businesses meant that being brave enough to start a conversation with a total stranger was really important.

You had to be able to talk to people to be able to sell them things and create a relationship that would have them come back again and again, it was more than quality of the produce it was also about the customer service. Having that confidence to be able to talk to people also helped with my work in real estate and later on as a solicitor.

My family is from the Aeolian Islands located between Sicily and Italy, and even though our English was good, there was considerable antagonism directed at the new Australians. I remember that on the weekends we used to get away to small farms at Diggers Rest, Cottles Bridge and Wallan that were owned by my uncles. On these farms we were able to just be ourselves. I am proud of my Italian heritage, it’s important to me, but running a retail business meant that we needed to speak English and this helped us to integrate a bit more and things gradually improved.

My wife and I raised six kids and when they were young I was working in the

fruit and vegetable industry which meant social time was limited, this is also partly why I returned to working as a solicitor as I was able to watch the kids play sport on the weekends which helped to make friends. I have found that meeting with friends for social card games or at local clubs has also been great.

Having the confidence to start a conversation still holds me in good stead now as I get older and when my health improves I intend to volunteer as I see that as a great opportunity to socialise with people now I am on my own. When I feel well, I will go for a walk around the local streets in my neighbourhood, or to the local shops and talk to the people I meet.

I go to water aerobics at the local pool which helps with my legs and gets me out of the house twice a week, the class is quite large and its nice to see familiar faces each time. On the other mornings I also go to the pool to walk in the water and its easy to strike up a conversation with others doing the same thing.

I really enjoy reading so I try to visit the library as often as I can and I’ve also found this to be a great way to find out what is happening in the area. Quite often the library run activities which can be another way of meeting people. Sometimes I have also gone on my own to the movies or a theatre show, but I much prefer to go with a friend.

NAT

KUSHUM

“ I made friends with a neighbour and she helped me find out what was available in the area.”

I have always tried to make the best of every situation no matter what is thrown my way, I always start the day smiling and go to bed smiling. When I was five years old my mother, two younger brothers and I moved to Fiji to be reunited with our father who was running a general store. My father passed away four months after we were reunited and my mother took over the running of the store. Those early years in Fiji were very hard as I helped to look after my younger brothers, help in the store by sewing clothes for tourists and go to school.

In my culture arranged marriages are common and when I was 20 my uncle arranged my marriage to a young man from New Zealand. I was devastated as I had to leave my family and school friends and move to another country and the first three years of my marriage were difficult and lonely. We moved in with my husband’s family and I was expected to work on the dairy farm quickly learning how to milk cows!

I didn’t let my loneliness get to me, I became good friends with one of the ladies on a neighbouring farm and she helped me to find out what was available in the local area so I could make a start. That’s what I did, I would ask the question and if they couldn’t help me, I would be put onto someone else, I didn’t give up. My husband and

I had three sons and through them I also met people and made more friends especially when they started school.

After living in New Zealand for about 20 years we moved to Sydney and again had to start over making friends. In total we lived in Sydney for 27 years and when my husband passed away I sold our house and furniture and shared my time between sons living in New South Wales and Victoria as I could not afford to pay the mortgage on my own. I made the permanent move to Victoria in 2011 and once again I started over.

I have always had a strong faith and I think that has helped immensely and every day I am thankful for what I have. As I have gotten older I find that I am stuck in the house because I am not able to drive. I used to drive to my exercise group and met lots of people there, but because of my health, I now rely on others to drive me everywhere so I don’t tend to ask too often as I don’t want to be a burden to them.

I think it is important to be brave, something I learned by example from my mother, having a strong will, and never giving up. Making that first phone call to the community centre although it can be hard is worth it. Even something as simple as talking to neighbours or to people walking by the front garden can make a big difference and help you to find support.

KUSHUM

TONY AND MARIA

During the Communist regime in the 1960s when we lived in Croatia (formerly Yugoslavia), there was a lot of religious discrimination and a few friends and family members just disappeared. Our religion was and still is very important to us and we were lucky that a relative living in Australia was able to sponsor us. Australia offered us religious freedom and an opportunity for our children to do well and for our family to be safe - there was hope for a future.

I was the first to arrive, having traveled to Australia by ship, and I was lucky to find work in a factory in Geelong within two weeks. For me walking off that ship

felt like a prison door had been opened. The children and Maria arrived by plane nearly six months later and straightaway we went to the local church and our children started at school. Being able to openly go to church was really important to us and through the church we met people with similar beliefs and values.

In the early days we rented a house and both Maria and I worked in factories until we eventually saved up enough to buy our own home. Our weekends were busy with work, family outings and church. When the children started playing sport we met other people from similar backgrounds and our group of

TONY AND MARIA

friends increased. We also found that attending a cultural club was a great way to meet others and to celebrate our culture with food and music. This was a great way to connect with people who had been living in Australia for a while and who were able to offer advice and support.

For a while Maria and I also went to English classes at the migrant education centre and we were able to practice our English language skills and make some new friends from all cultural backgrounds. I remember our group used to go on outings to primary schools where everyone would cook food from their culture to share with the school

students and this allowed us to practice our English. Now as we get older, our health issues are making it more difficult, so now we go to the club to share a meal rather than for the music and dancing.

I feel that being able to go to church was so important for us especially in the early days as it gave us the opportunity to belong and be part of the community, we were finally free. Making the decision to leave Croatia was very difficult but we are so grateful to have had the opportunities to make a good life here for us and our children and grandchildren.

We are very proud to be Australian Citizens.

‘ This was a great way to connect with people who had been living in Australia for a while and who were able to offer advice and support.’

NEL

NU IK OUDER WORD VIND IK OOK DAT HET PLAATSELIJKE BUURTCENTRUM EEN GEWELDIGE PLEK IS OM MENSEN TE ONTMOETEN EN OM TEGELIJKERTIJD IETS NIEUWS TE LEREN.

“ We joined a Dutch club where we could share our customs, go dancing and for me it alleviated my loneliness. ”

With our combined age of 43 we were the youngest family on board our migrant ship ‘Sibajak’. We had been living with my husband’s family which, was not easy with a one year old daughter, so my husband decided that he wanted us to be independent and emigrate. We chose Australia as it offered a better future and we arrived in 1955 under the assisted migration scheme. I wasn’t keen to move so far from my family but in those days you followed your husband.

When we arrived we had to stay at the migrant camp in Bonegilla for the first three weeks which was a real culture shock as both my daughter and I were not well. In the mean time my husband managed to find work in Geelong as a labourer building the new refinery and he moved to the region. It was very hard work for him as he had only worked in an office previously but you do what you have to do as the breadwinner of the family.

Those first weeks were very lonely as my husband wasn’t always able to hitchhike back to Bonegilla to visit us. In those early days he boarded with a Dutch family in Norlane, but they really didn’t have room for him and he shared the bed with a boarder who worked the night shift. He managed to get a cabin at Ocean Grove where friends from the ship had settled and we joined him

shortly after in July 1955. Finally we were together again as a family and a second child, a boy was born in early 1956. My husband was lucky to find work as a paymaster at Shell and things improved greatly. In total we stayed at the cabin for about two and a half years and then moved to Norlane. We ended up building our home on the Bellarine in the early 1970s.

It was hard and we managed as best we could, my husband worked weekends as our family grew to four children. Luckily I knew how to sew and had been given a sewing machine as a wedding gift.

Once the kids started school it was much easier making friends and I soon found myself sewing things for kinder and school fetes. We joined a Dutch club where we could share our customs, go dancing and for me it alleviated my loneliness. I joined a Ladies Fellowship group at the church and was the treasurer for about 10 years, something that I was scared stiff of doing!

As I get older I also find that the local neighbourhood house is a great place to meet people and learn something new at the same time, I did a ‘The Law and You’ course and really enjoyed it. Talking to people is the key to finding out what is available.

I have no regrets about our move to Australia as we have been very lucky we have been able to work hard to have a house and cars, but I do miss my family and friends that were left behind back home.

NEL

The ‘Wise Words – Let me tell you my story’ project was supported by the Victorian Government.