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Dear Friends Wilton Monthly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends, Quakers

317 New Canaan Road (Route 106), Wilton, CT 06897 www.wiltonfriends.org

Meeting for Worship 10:00 a.m. each First Day (Sunday) Children attend for the first 15 minutes, followed by First Day School Meeting for Business at rise of meeting on second First Days

November, 11th Month, 2016 And in the spirit of Thanksgiving, we affirm our dedication to being unrealistic

for peace, social justice, environmental sanity, and a world based on love, caring, kindness and generosity. In so doing, we will make realistic what at first

seemed to be unrealistic. And so it is. Amen. Rabbi Michael Lerner

Worship and Candle lighting December 18, 2016

At Meeting for Business on 11/13/2016 those gathered agreed that our “traditional” Candle lighting should take place on December 18 this year. The fact that there is a Long Range Planning called meeting after hospitality was considered during the discernment. The LRP meeting will take place as scheduled at noon. Candle lighting begins with regular Meeting for Worship but the last 15 minutes will be Worship Sharing.

At around 10:45 AM the clerk will offer a brief explanation and the candle lighting table will be brought forward and Candle lighting/Worship Sharing will begin.

It is perfectly acceptable to light a candle without speaking or speak without lighting a candle.

As usual the greeter will break meeting at around 11 AM. Clerk will then ask for afterthoughts, ask for visitors to introduce themselves, and call for announcements.

For safety reasons, anyone with long hair should tie it back before lighting a candle.

There will be no official First Day School program but those with children are encouraged to include them in Meeting for Worship, and if they want, help them light a candle and speak.

As in the past, hospitality will be potluck.

There will be a handout that day with this information and some guidelines for Worship

Sharing.

Wilton Friends Meeting November 2016

Peace and Service Dec 11 Holiday sale and fundraiser:

Virginia Auster will be selling fair traded

items from many countries to benefit our

Sister City, Nagarote Nicauragua on

December 11, the same day as the silent

auction.

Please search through your homes and imagine what might be "treasure" to someone else but you are ready to let go. Just bring it with you to meeting and give it to Virginia or Missy with a brief description of what it is and your estimate of value. We seek items that are gently used or new, and have value over $25. The beneficiaries this year are Judy Meikle’s social justice and prison ministries, and Connecticut Friends School, the preschool that operates under the care of Wilton Meeting. Offer a couple of hours of service: babysitting, closet organizing, yoga or tai chi classes, home cooked meals or baked goods, even a private tour of a museum you are familiar with. FEEL FREE TO BE CREATIVE IN SHARING YOUR SKILLS FOR THESE TWO GOOD CAUSES.

Reading "Waking Up White” Together

“Understanding whiteness, regardless of class, is key to understanding racism.” (p13) So says Debbie Irvine in an early chapter of "Waking Up White". We hope that Wilton Meeting Friends who are reading this book are finding it helpful in these challenging times. We will be holding informal discussions regarding “Waking Up White” on the following dates: SUNDAY DECEMBER 4 & SUNDAY JANUARY 8 at 9am before Meeting. Please join us to deepen your experience of reading the book. Our final discussion will be on SUNDAY JANUARY 29 at noon when we will provide lunch and hope that many will join us to share their experience of reading the book and discuss next steps. MB, Becky, Judy, Virginia

Beyond the White Privilege Conference”

Epistle from

Powell House November 4-6th 2016

Dear Friends everywhere,

Following the 17th White Privilege Conference held

in Philadelphia in April 2016, Quakers from New

York Yearly Meeting met at Powell House from

November 4th – 6th to address how to move forward

with the work of racial justice. We numbered twenty-

four Friends ages 18 to 82 and we came from ten

monthly meetings in New York State, New Jersey

and Connecticut. Poised at a moment in history

before an election that has divided the country, our

multi-racial group gathered with a sense of

foreboding. Feeling called by spirit to be Quaker

anti-racists – challenging interpersonal and systemic

racism for the very reason that these things morally

contradict our testimonies - we must yet love one

another, seeing that of God in everyone in these

difficult times.

On Friday evening we considered the spiritual basis

of our work, reflecting upon relevant religious texts

from the Abrahamic traditions. We considered the

story of the Good Samaritan, where Jesus teaches

us that those despised as the other are our

neighbors and worthy of love and care. This

grounded us for the weekend ahead.

On Saturday morning, those who had attended the

White Privilege Conference shared their individual

impressions. People expressed amazement at, and

being overwhelmed by, the variety and depth of

learning opportunities at the conference, and a

sense of hope to find so many gathered to engage

with the moral issue of racism. There was an

appreciation for the significant number of Quakers

present. People were grateful that they went and

planned to attend future conferences.

Later, we spent time brainstorming about what can

be done locally in our meetings and at the Yearly

Meeting level with regard to racism and racial

justice. Many ideas were put forth. Friends

suggested a speaker’s bureau, events, storytelling,

worship groups on white privilege, interfaith work

and honest conversations. People recommended

book clubs and study groups using Debbie Irving’s

“Waking Up White” and ‘Deep Denial –The

Persistence of White Supremacy in United States

History and Life” by David Billings. Friends also

expressed a desire for healing, more training and an

online directory of resources and projects within the


Yearly Meeting. By Summer Sessions, a racial

justice network task group under the care of the

Black Concerns Committee will create a network to

promote the racial justice work of the Yearly

Meeting.

Our discussions were sometimes hard. People

seemed reluctant to risk being in discomfort. One

Friend reminded us that her mother taught her “You

can be nice but you’d better be truthful.” Yet too

often, white Quakers think it’s not nice to talk about

race. A concern was raised that we be direct and

honest – use of the “The White Anti-Racist

Cookbook” was recommended. We must be

prepared for this to be a messy process. We will

sometimes stumble and say the wrong thing. We will

need to be willing to be corrected and to forgive.

We struggle with a sense that the work that we are

doing in our monthly meetings is often done in

isolation. We long for authentic relationships. We

want others in our faith communities to see their way

to join us in our projects.

On Saturday evening, we divided into interest

groups. One met to talk about steps related to mass

incarceration. Specifically, we identified actions to

promote events within the Yearly Meeting to raise

awareness about solitary confinement and

legislative campaigns in different states. Parole

reform and higher education within prisons were

also examined as issues of pressing concern.

Another interest group focused on racial justice work

being done in our monthly meetings. Initiatives

included outreach, education, and exploring Quaker

practices with youth in relation to challenging racism.

We realized that although many of our monthly

meetings are all white, the communities they are in

are not. We want our monthly meetings to ground

themselves in their geographical communities. We

felt we still needed to address how to wake up

members of our Meetings who do not share our

sense of urgency.

Two Friends met to discuss confusion regarding the

language in recent FGC minutes. We need to trust

each other when we are hearing words that give us

discomfort and openly discuss them not with

resentment but with love. Then we will be able to

accept language that at first appears harsh. Further

discernment is needed around these minutes.

We are being called to go deeper. One Friend said,

“In conditions of drought, fire can erupt suddenly.

Campers (spiritual sojourners) must prepare

themselves accordingly.”

We are wrestling with each other about how to

engage with the monster of racism in our culture and

we’re not done wrestling. As we leave Powell

House, we feel that powerful connections have been

made. We have engaged in deep listening. We have

been challenged to own that we may often accept

the unacceptable and that the struggle ahead

requires us to be resolute, to seek support from spirit

and from each other. We are filled with gratitude for

what we have shared and with hope for what is to

come. We call on Friends everywhere to seek in

their hearts how they are led to join us in the

struggle for racial justice in their meetings, in their

Yearly Meetings, in their communities, in their

prisons, and in this nation.

Lifelines to Solitary On Sunday November 20th, twenty eight people gathered in the Meeting for Worship room at Wilton Meeting to listen to a presentation on solitary confinement and the significance of pen-pals to people in isolated confinement. Johnny Perez. a re-entry advocate from the Urban Justice Center and a survivor of solitary confinement, laid out the harsh realities of solitary and advised us that half of the world’s isolated prisoners are held in U.S.prisons. He reminded us that being sent to prison should be sufficient punishment - and that conditions of incarceration should not be an additional punishment especially the torture of 23 hours a day in isolation. For people being held in isolation, receiving correspondence is not only a vital connection to reality and hope, but Johhny advised us that people who receive letters from the outside are treated differently because the system is aware that you have people monitoring your situation. Marlies Talay, the Lifelines to Solitary Project Coordinator, explained the logistics of the correspondence program. We are starting our own chapter of Lifelines at Wilton Meeting and Judy Meikle is the Chapter Coordinator (supported by Laura Higgins). Marlies will provide names and addresses of people in solitary and Judy will assign correspondents, track the progress of letter writing and provide support. All letters will be mailed using a P.O.Box address and she will distribute mail as it is received. Correspondents are committing to writing one letter each month. A handout providing “Guidelines for Correspondents” was provided.


Eighteen people from Wilton Meeting have indicated that they are interested in becoming Lifelines to Solitary participants. Four people from the Center for Humanistic Judaism also attended the presentation and are interested in starting their own chapter. A representative from Montclair Monthly Meeting in New Jersey will carry information back to her Meeting. There is also interest from Old Chatham Meeting in NY and Manasquan Meeting in NJ. Thanks to all who attended the presentation and to those who are committing to engage in this ministry. Judy Meikle NYYM Representative to National Religious Campaign Against Torture

Wilton Interfaith Action Committee is still asking for donations from Friends in support of the Wilton Interfaith 2016 Stop Hunger Now project. On October 22ndvolunteers from all around our area packed 165,000 meals, which will be distributed through schools to families in Haiti in the wake of Hurricane Matthew. Wi-ACT (of which WMM is a member) raises the funds to buy the food supplies; we still need funds to cover this year’s expenses, and thus far WMM has not contributed, as it faithfully has in past years. Please give your checks with “Wi-ACT SHN 2016” in the memo line to Albert Hsu.


Here is a scrap book of photos from the CFS Hoe Down. They are sure to make you smile!

photos by Sean Higgins

Looking for ideas for holiday gift giving? Check out our attender Anna Roberts’ sites for beautiful

one of a kind items, or talk with Anna after worship:

https://www.etsy.com/shop/annarobertsart

or

https://www.amazon.com/Anna-Roberts-Art/dp/B015905L2M

https://www.etsy.com/shop/annarobertsart


WMM Meeting for Worship with a Concern for Business

November 13, 2016

Present: Virginia Auster, Becky Bunnell, Timothy Connolly, Missy Conrad, Ty Griese, Sean Higgins, Albert Hsu, Judy Meikle, Jeffrey Menoher, Doris

Munger, Madeleine Wilken, Pete McCaughan (Clerk), Renda McCaughan (Recording Clerk) (13 people).

Meeting began with a few minutes of worship at 12:15 pm.

Recording Clerk:

Minutes from October, 2016: approved

Recorder:

Nikolas Tsocanos has written to discontinue his associate membership. Because New York Yearly Meeting confers full membership automatically to

youth members at age 18, we need to minute this decision.

Minute 2016-11-01: Nikolas Tsocanos has asked to be released from membership. Meeting approved.

Treasurer:

Virginia Perry, who died in 2015, has left WMM a bequest from her estate. Clerk will write a letter to the family thanking them.

Minute 2016-11-02: WMM is very grateful for the bequest from the estate of Virginia Perry. It reminds us of the love and respect that we

have for Virginia. Meeting approved.

Ministry and Oversight

M&O is thinking about offering a course in Quakerism 101. Those wishing to attend such a program should inform members of M&O. We will announce

this at rise of Meeting for Worship. New members and attenders might be particularly interested.

One member suggested an alternate series of discussions based on the current state of politics--what can we do? Let’s hold special meetings to look

backwards and forwards. Our new Partnership Project might stimulate similar kinds of discussion and outreach.

This led to the news of our acceptance into the NYYM/New England Yearly Meeting Partnership Project: Clerk read aloud the letter of acceptance from

Melinda Bradley. (Attachment to Minutes). The letter included possible dates for her to come and visit us, including Dec. 4, 11, or 18. M&O is in contact

with Melinda.

Threshing sessions will occur Dec. 4 and 11 around noon to 1 or 1:30 about what meeting wants to do about Meetinghouse space once the Preschool

moves to Hastings Hall next year. These threshing sessions will end in no firm decisions. Long Term Planning Committee invites everyone to attend. We

will be sending out ideas on listserv; we want ideas even if you can’t come to meetings.

The annual P&S silent auction is on Dec. 4. Sale of goods to benefit Norwalk/Nagarote Sister City Project will be held Dec. 11. (Later Correction: Both

the silent auction and the Sister City sale will be on Dec. 11)

The WMM Website has been updated: the Partnership Project application is on the website. The Calendar for is WMM events only. If you have an item

for the calendar, submit it to Pete or Albert. The Handbook and newsletters are now open to anyone.

Construction Plans for Hastings Hall and Annex

The end of February completion date fits with CFS’s CT licensing date. The $150,000 grant doesn’t quite cover the cost of construction, but people

stepped up and we just about have it covered. Start of construction begins at the end of the coming week.

CFS may move at spring break unless the school decides to move in the summer to alleviate disruption.

We are short $19, 000 for Annex siding. If you wish to give, please write a check to CFS with capital account in the memo line.

Look forward to a spring workday to complete landscaping of the renovated preschool area.

Peace & Service

Monthly Meeting asks if P&S is planning a Christmas Project as in years past, e.g., presents for children of incarcerated parents. The answer from Peace

and Service members who were present was that this project was not happening at this time. There was general acknowledgement that Meeting would like

to do this; even though there is no budget for it. We would like to see even a small undertaking go forward.

WMM asks P&S to discuss a Christmas Project, announce at meeting, and collect money. If you would like to contribute, write a check to WMM with

“Christmas Project” in the memo line.

Stop Hunger Now

Madeleine Wilken was at the big gathering to put together food packets; it was very successful. The organization is asking Meeting to contribute $200.

Madeleine is asking WMM for $100 from our budget (A&O stepped forward to say its budget had a surplus). If you write a check, make it out to WMM,

with memo line Stop Hunger Now and give it to Albert.

Candle-lighting Ceremony

As people remember, last year we had 40 minutes of silence during Meeting for worship, then the table was brought out, already set. We then had a period

of “afterthoughts”. Clerk asked Sean to consult with Laura and work out a service, put on listserv.


Christmas falls on Sunday this year—Should we have candle-lighting on Dec. 18? Dec. 25? Or Dec. 24? Make it a gathering with carol singing, potluck,

etc. ? Candle-lighting is for kids, who are more likely to be here on the 18th than on the 25th (A morning for opening presents, family time).

Consensus in meeting was for December 18th.

Should we also have a party on Christmas Eve? Agreement was for people to talk among themselves, organize, and bring up at the December Business

Meeting.

Meeting closed with a moment of silence at 1:20 pm.

News of absent friends:

We wish our dear friend Katie well in her new life in Massachusetts! Here is a picture of Katie (on the right) and Alex (left) at Katie’s ‘farewell worship’ with us.

Photo by Albert Hsu

Humor Corner thanks Renda McCaughan,(sorry we can’t find who to credit)

Five Proposed New Laws For This New Mood In Town: 1. To wave an American flag in public, you must answer the following question: The Bill of Rights is part of:

a. the Constitution b. the Magna Carta c. the Declaration of Independence.

2. To be permitted to scream "Nuke Afghanistan," you must be able to correctly locate Afghanistan on a map or globe. 3. To be permitted to scream "Arabs go home," you must list and correctly locate ten Arab homelands. 4. Those who wish to express opinions about Arabs and Arab-Americans must pass the following test:

A. Those who follow the religion of Islam are called: a/ Moslems b/ Muslims c/ Fanatics B. The Holy Book of Islam is called: a/ The Koran b/ The Koram c/ The Bible C. In Arabic, God is called: a/ Ali b/ Allah c/ Jehovah

5. A call for war on any radio talk-show will be construed as a public declaration of willingness to enlist in the US Army; callers will have 24 hours to complete the paperwork.


W.H. Auden’s poem, September 1, 1939, concludes:

“Defenseless under the night Our world in stupor lies; Yet, dotted everywhere,

Ironic points of light Flash out wherever the Just Exchange their messages: May I, composed like them

Of Eros and of dust, Beleaguered by the same

Negation and despair, Show an affirming flame.”

http://www.poemdujour.com/Sept1.1939.html


Dates to Remember:

Dec 4 Special called meeting on next steps for our meeting house

Waking Up White discussion group

Dec 11 Holiday Sale and Silent Auction

Dec 18 Candle lighting worship sharing rising out of worship

Dec 18 Special Called Meeting on next steps for our meeting house

Dec 24 Christmas Day Worship 9:00am

Jan 8 Waking Up White discussion group 9:00am

Officers:

Clerk Peter McCaughan

Recording Clerk Renda McCaughan

Treasurer Albert Hsu

Finance Committee Clerk Jeff Menoher

Ministry & Oversight Clerk Laura Higgins

Physical Stewardship Clerk Christopher Fatherly

Long Range Planning Clerk Becky Bunnell

Peace & Service Clerk Diane Keefe

Newsletter Editor Martha Gurvich

Committee Meetings: First Sundays: Phys.Stewardship: 9:00 am, Finance: 11:30 am Peace and Service at rise of worship

Second Sundays: First Day School: 9 am

Third Sundays: Long RangePlanning: 9 am Advancement&Outreach: 11:30 am

Fourth Sundays: Ministry&Oversight: 8:45 am


Wilton Monthly Meeting

of the Religious Society of Friends

317 New Canaan Road

Wilton CT 06897-3322

First Class Mail

Dear Friends

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