why worry? stop coping and start living
TRANSCRIPT
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Why Worry? Stop Coping and
Start Living
Kathryn Tristan
Email: [email protected]
Web site: www.whyworrybook.com
Facebook: KathrynTristan
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We All Worry:
That the birds of worry and care fly over your head, this you cannot change,
but that they build nests in your hair, this you can prevent.
-- Chinese proverb
“To experience peace does not mean that your life is always blissful. It means that you are capable of tapping into a blissful state of mind amidst the normal chaos of a hectic life.” -- Jill Bolte Taylor
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Worry: A Global Epidemic
Worldwide: 450 million mental health problem (World Health Organization, 2001)
United Kingdom: Anxiety & depression: 1 in 5 Australia: ~Half population experience mental health issue at sometime in life Europe: 38% mental illness/impairment
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• Wealthiest and most anxious nation in the world • One-third billion psychiatric Rx per year • Study of 200,000 incoming college freshmen: All time lows in mental well-being
• 1 in 2 people will suffer from anxiety,
depression , or addiction
USA #1
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• Protect from threats • Rapid & Powerful •Which thoughts to heed?
Psychological Immune System:
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Can Worry Help Us?
Helpful worry: •Proactive and solution oriented •Improve your situation •Handle a physical or emotional challenge •Intuitive guidance
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Can Worry Harm Us?
Harmful worry:
• Chronic negative thoughts • Focus on what is wrong • Depression, anxiety, panic attacks
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Myths about Worry:
• If I worry about it, “it” won’t happen!
• Worrying shows I care!
• I’ve always worried, I can’t help it!
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Scientific Studies
• 85% of what we worry about never happens • 80% handled it better than they thought they would
• Reduced chance coronary heart disease • Reduced Alzheimer’s Disease • Increased life span
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Three Ways We Worry:
1. Ignoring or Denying:
• Sleeplessness
• Crabby
• Over/Under Eating & Drinking
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2. Terribilizing
•Envision worst possible outcome •Focus on what may go wrong •Feeling hopeless and doomed to fail
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3. Possibilizing
See many possibilities
Proactive & empowered
Envision success
Focus on solutions
• 85% of worries never happen! • 80% better than predicted outcome
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I’ll handle it! This, too, shall pass!
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Thoughts Have Power
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What You Think About EXPANDS !
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What You Think About You Can Bring About
Watch your thoughts, for thoughts become words.
Watch your words, for words become attitudes.
Watch your attitudes, for attitudes become action.
Watch your actions, for actions become habits.
Watch your habits, for habits become character.
Watch your character, for character becomes destiny.
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What You Think About You Can Bring About
Watch your thoughts, for thoughts become words.
Watch your words, for words become attitudes.
Watch your attitudes, for attitudes become action.
Watch your actions, for actions become habits.
Watch your habits, for habits become character.
Watch your character, for character becomes destiny.
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How do we turn around nonproductive worrying?
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Overcoming Harmful Worry:
The CORE Concepts
Choice
Outlook
Risk -
Embrace Spirit
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“The ancestor to every action in the physical world is a thought.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
CORE Concept 1: I Always Have Choices!
Two Types of Choices:
External World = Little Control
Internal World = Attitude,
Reactions (Controllable)
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How Much Can We Control?
“True control lies in releasing the need to control your outside world and instead taking charge of your inside world.”
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How Can We Begin Making Better Choices?
Point to Yourself
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Heartache
Heart of gold
Heart of stone
The Heart!
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Introducing: EARL and PEARL!
E = Exaggerating
A = Angry
R = Rigid
L = Limiting
EARL:
Protector
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PEARL (Inner Strength)
P = Peaceful
E = Enthusiastic
A = Adventurous
R = Resilient
L = Loving
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CORE Concept 2:
I Choose to Change My Outlook!
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Resistance to Changing:
• This is who I am, I can’t change • I’ve always been like this • My whole family is like this
New Scientific Discoveries: Epigenetics & Neuroplasticity
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New Frontiers: Epigenetics & Neuroplasticity
BRAIN initiative: Brain Research through Advancing Innovative Neurotechnologies
(BRAIN)
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Emotions Change DNA Epigenetics: Factors that switch genes “OFF” or “ON” (heritable)
Institute of HeartMath
• Nutrients • Chemicals (environment) • Thoughts, emotions!
Paradox: Turn on Your Happiness Genes by being Happy!
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Neuroplasticity: Neurons that fire together, wire together!
Rewiring Your Brain:
• Awareness & focused intention • Add emotions and visualize • Repetition (21 days to break a habit)
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Rewiring Inner Negative Dialogues:
What to Say to Support Yourself
Challenge negative thoughts with the FOUR P’s:
•Powerful •Positive •Present Tense •Possibilizing
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I feel helpless I am strong and capable
I am stupid I am intelligent and have a great personality
Affirm…Accept… Alternatives
Terribilizing Possibilizing
I can’t stop worrying I now am changing negative thinking /reacting
I feel overwhelmed I’ll handle it, always have, always will!
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• Perfectionism • Blaming • Anger
Powerful Worry Triggers
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Outlook Makeovers:
Perfectionism
“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” --John Lennon
“People Plan; God Laughs.”
Our Perfectly Imperfect World
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Life is all about how you handle… Plan B!
Peace begins when expectations end. --Sri Chinmoy
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Wabi-Sabi
Japanese philosophy : Beauty = imperfect, impermanent, incomplete Early Buddhist teachings focusing on transient nature of life Look beyond the imperfection & honor all life experience Peacefulness despite ‘cracks’
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Outlook Makeovers:
The Blame Game Whose fault is it ?
• Over Analytical • Over React • Over Critical
Strategy: Observe NOT Absorb
Antidote to Blame is Gratitude!
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What “Color” is Your Anger?
The Antidote to Anger: Cultivating Clarity
•Fiery Red: fly off the handle •Smoldering orange: coldly silent
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90 Second Pause Jill Bolte Taylor “My Stroke of Insight”
Express Yourself Effectively
“When you…I felt…”
“I’m sorry that……”
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CORE Concept 3:
Risking Helps Me Recover!
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Risking Expands Comfort Zone
Mind, Body & Spirit
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Top Three Stress Busters:
1. Breathe, breathe, breathe.
2.Live in the present moment.
3.Keep a positive perspective.
What you think about you will bring about!
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Stop, Look, & Listen Technique
You’re okay! Slow down! I can handle this! What can I learn; who will I meet?
Stop the runaway train of negativity , worry or scary thoughts!
Look around you. What else is happening? What do you hear? Get grounded!
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Five Minute Mental Marinade
• CROSS hands over heart.
• CLOSE eyes & take 5 deep breaths.
• RECALL 5 things right about your life.
• FOCUS on someone or something you LOVE! • TAKE 5 more deep, slow breaths. • RELAX, open eyes and marinate in the feeling!
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CORE Concept 4:
I Embrace My Spirit
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Embracing Your Spirit
• Connectedness & Neurotheology
“I am a spiritual being having a physical experience.” --PierreTeilhard de Chardin
• The Magic of Coincidence
• ASKing for Help
• Higher Perspective
• Pay it Forward
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Go Forward!
John Tyler Dossett and family: Lesch-Nyham Syndrome
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http://jtdossettart.com
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Our Thoughts Create Our Lives – Choose Wisely!
Train yourself to enjoy more and worry less!
Turn on your happy genes!
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Thank You!
Acknowledgments:
Post-Polio Health International (International Ventilator Users Network):
Jean Headley and staff
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