What’s missing?Year 12 essay analysis

Quotes & how to use themThe 3 rules of quote inclusion:

Work the quote into a sentence, don’t just add them on the end.

OK: Henry’s injury was not from a heroic act." I was blown up while eating cheese". This quote shows that...

Better: Henry admits that he"was blown up while eating cheese", demonstrating the absurdity of...

Give context to a quote - who said it, what was happening?

OK: The quote “all thinking men are atheists” shows Hemingway’s underlying beliefs...

Better: The Major persists in baiting the Priest at dinner, insisting that “all thinking men are atheists”. His claim betrays Hemingway’s underlying beliefs...

Convey the tone of the quote - use vocabulary to express the underlying tone.

OK: When Catherine is dying, Henry says “that was what you did. You died.”

Better: Henry expresses his devastation at the loss of his lover in his bitter attack on a world that didn’t care that “that was what you did. You died.”

The strength of your vocab & spelling

Affect/effectaffect |əˈfekt|

verb [ with obj. ]make a difference to: the dampness began to affect my health touch the feelings of (someone); move emotionally: the atrocities he witnessed have affected him most deeply.

effect |iˈfekt|nouna change that is a result or consequence of an action or other cause: the lethal effects of hard drugs | politicians really do have some effect on the lives of ordinary people.

get -- went -- things

Answering the question

"There is nothing worse than war." 'This is a story about war and its effects on human beings.' Discuss.

Quotable

Henry is depicted as an atheist, aimless in his actions and concerned more about where to get his next drink than where his life is heading: “I believe we should get the war over”.

Introducing & concludingIntroduction is just that - you should be introducing the reader to your argument: give them a heads up on what you’re about to discuss, but don’t give it all away! Also, make sure what you’re discussing is relevant to the essay question.A conclusion looks very similar to an introduction, but the reader knows what you’ve talked about now, so you can make your statements bolder. Tell them what you think (be confident with it!), and sign off strongly. Your last sentence should be the pièce de résistance - the best bit!

The strength of your argument

sort of showsmust have beenHemingway tries to demonstrateHemingway is attempting to show