WHAT I’VE LEARNED:A powerpoint in response to your letter to me in response to my letter to you (got that?)

LOVLIES, (YES, MEN/BOYS, THIS MEANS YOU TOO)

I am squeeing over here with joy. I am elated. I have obscene hopes for this class. Could it be true, all of these things you suggest, the way you write?

I’m thinking you may be a figment of my imagination!

I KNOW THIS ABOUT YOU:

You’re funny: “The sign reads, ‘The Horniest Tavern in the

Northwest!’ with a neon animated sign of two deer copulating. We’re extremely proud.”

“I was born…on February 15, 1995. Talk about a good Valentine’s Day present.”

“My obese cat Mr. Motors says hello, first off.” “…I crammed in both AVM and TC. Zach 1—

You 0.” “My summer was filled to the brim with

excitement and adventure…By excitement, I mean Facebook, and by adventure, I mean sitting on my couch.”

YOU KNOW HOW TO USE A MODEL (OR YOU HAVE SPLENDID SARCASM?)

“Dear AP Teacher, I’m sitting in my desk right now listening to lil’ Wayne’s ‘How to Love.’ I too think this band is appropriate…”

“I’m sitting at my desk in my bedroom, listening to The Temper Trap’s ‘Sweet Disposition.’ I actually find it fitting at the moment…”

YOU EMPLOY GREAT DETAIL

“I’m not talking about some Ferrari or a Lamborghini…”

“Beauty does not deeply describe Lake Chelan, but being on a boat in thirty feet of water and being able to see the bottom does.”

“We sat in the hot sun looking for turtles in the water while we ate Otter Pops.”

“…arguing over the TV remote or fighting about whether we are going to watch Independence Day or 300…”

YOUR RANGE OF INTERESTS IS GRAND-CANYON-ESQUE Appreciation of and participation in music—

We have a MISTRESS in the house! FFA Soccer Tennis History buffs Cribbage champs Basketball Photography Artists Snowmobilers Tounge-Touchers (Mad skillz, no?)

YOU ARE UP FOR A CHALLENGE “And I honestly hope

that it [this class] seriously challenges me.”

“Even though the odds of me getting the grade I would like in this class are slim, I know with your help I can achieve this goal.”

“I hope this will make me wake up and get me out of the rut from just sailing through classes with ‘A’s.”

YOU UTILIZE AMAZING DICTIONStupid, sappy, sticky love

Stalagmites and stalactites Ineffectua

lLambaste accustome

d

Atrocious Ecstatic Fathom Realms Slaughter

Mongers Insatiable Rapture Brace yourself

Mayhem

Mundane Unscathed Zany Voyaged Devoid

Cobwebby brains(I LOVE made-up words!)

Scribbling Albeit Proclivity Dwindled

Sand-draped coast

Diligent Dapper Scintillation

conundrum

YOU KNOW SOME GRAMMAR! (DOUBLE SQUEE!)

“(I am a secret lover of parallel structure.)” “I am very good and I love diagramming.”

You use parallel structure! One of you has a prepositions poster in your

bedroom.

YOU CLAIM YOURSELVES AS NERDS:

In fact, 22 of you righteously proclaimed it. One of you is concerned that you guys/gals

might be “too weird for my taste.”

Just you wait, my pretties.

YOU WILL CHALLENGE ME TO BE MY BEST TEACHER--

Most of you are killer writers! Let’s push each other

AND, FINALLY:

I’m going to have to do it. Sigh.

Wait—is it me, or does the H girl look like Colleen?