What is my message?

Is my message clear?

Is my message interesting?

Do I have enough information?

TOPIC - What we want to write about

DETAILS - information about our topic

My favorite dessert - ice cream

best flavors

how you eat it where to buy it

who likes it

ice cream

kids, grandparents,

mom and dad, my dog

Popsy, Mimos. on the street, Olympica

in a cone, in a cup, a banana

split, a shake

chocolate, coconut, strawberry

Ice cream is the most delicious dessert. Everyone likes it from my grandparents to my dog! You can buy it at many places but I get my ice cream at Mimo's. My favorite way is in a banana split. with chocolate, coconut, and strawberry flavors. I wish I had ice cream right now!

Read the story below -

I went on vacation this summer. It was a lot of fun. We camped at night and hiked during the day.  It was exciting to be in the woods and I hope that I go again next year.

Was this an interesting story? It needs a little more! Can you answer these questions?

Where did the writer go? Who else went? What made it fun? What was the weather like? What is the most memorable event?

Write the revised story.

Birthday Party for

Cathy

my brothers and sisters

cho

colate cake an

d K

oo

l Aid

silly

fun

happy

in the kitchen

three years old

party hats

funn

y fa

ces

at th

e ca

mer

a

only family

waitin

g o

n D

add

y to co

me

whe

re a

re th

e pr

esen

ts?

• Hook the reader with your beginning

• Surprise your reader with a true statement

• Use details to describe where the story takes place

• Use a sound heard by the main character

• Begin with dialogue or use it in your story

• Start with a question or ask question several times in your story

• offer the reader advice in your story

• use quotes from people that relate to your story

• tell or show how the main character feels

• give the reader something to think about at the end

Use a graphic organizer to put all these ideas

together so they make sense, and, so you

don’t forget something!