Two separate high speed car chases whichstarted from Benidorm saw what authoritiesdescribed as two dangerous men being arrest­ed after shots were fired in the packed holidayresort last Saturday lunchtime.

The drama began around noon in Benidorm when aMoroccan driver refused to pull over for the police at a rou­tine check point, with the officers suspecting that he wasdriving a stolen car. Two shots were fired, with the 29 yearold motorist slamming into another car, before speeding offdangerously, with pedestrians having to dart out of the way.The BMW vehicle, which had been stolen in Almoradi, thensped off towards the AP7 with a chase on the southboundcarriageway towards Alicante City.

Meanwhile, behind the BMW, another car, driven by a 31year old Algerian, presumed to be an accomplice of theMoroccan, also ignored the Benidorm checkpoint, and he ledthe police on a chase on the AP7 northbound before his VWGolf was intercepted at the Xixona­Mutxamel exit,

The Moroccan BMW driver was pursued by the police forclose to half an hour, and was cornered on the Avenida de laUniversidad next to the Decathlon store in the northern areaof Alicante City, The National Police shot the man in the leg,with six police officers suffering mild injuries as a result of thevarious altercations. Both men have been charged with ahost of offences, including attempted murder and recklessdriving, in addition to robbing a house in Almoradi. TheAlgerian man had been previously arrested for drug dealing,forgery, conspiracy, robbery, theft, assault, and illegal deten­tion.

Edition 6 (185) www.thecourier.es Friday, September 5, 2014

By ALEX TRELINSKI

DOUBLE CHASEDRAMA

Our latest edition is always online at www.thecourier.es

Shots fired inlunchtime showdown

A total of 8,070 peoplejoined Spain's joblessqueues in August, the firstrise in unemployment aftersix months of improvement,with Alicante Province show­ing one of the biggest leapsin the whole of the country.

The rise means therewere 4,427,930 Spaniardsregistered as looking forwork at the country's unem­ployment offices at the endof August, the figures fromSpain's employment min­istry show. The number ofpeople signed on to thecountry's social security sys­tem fell by 97,582 to16,649,521, the figuresreveal. The August unem­ployment figures do meanthere are now 270,853 fewerpeople registered as lookingfor work in Spain than a yearago, a fall of 5.76 per cent.

Spain usually experiencesa rise in unemploymentnumbers in August, with theaverage rise for the monthover the last decade being49,025, according to theemployment ministry. In2013, however, unemploy­ment fell by 31 in the eighthmonth of the year.

"The result for the last

month was possible to pre­dict given there's a strongseasonal effect in Augustindependent of the generalstate of the economy,"Secretary of State for SocialSecurity Tomás Burgos saidthis week.

The returns for AlicanteProvince showed a 1.69 percent rise, which means thatthere are 201,527 unem­ployed people in the area,with an extra 3,334 regis­tered on the dole, but anannual fall of seven per cent.Meanwhile, an additional2,710 people were regis­tered out of work in theMurcia Region compared toJuly, meaning a 1.95 month

to month rise, though overthe last year, the figureshave gone down by just oversix per cent.

In other economic news,Spain's economy grew by0.6 per cent between Apriland June this year com­pared to figures for the firstthree months of 2014. Thatmeans it is the fastestgrowth rate for the Spanisheconomy since 2007,according to figures from theNational Statistics Office. Itmeans the economy grewby 1.2 per cent over a year.

Meanwhile, the StatisticsOffice says the number ofnew mortgages in June wasup nearly 20 percent on the

same month in 2013, onlythe second such year­on­year rise in four years. But,the year­on­year rise in Junefollowed hot on the heels oftwo consecutive months ofannual falls — 13.4 percentin April and 3.4 percent inMay. Banks green­lightedjust over 100 thousandloans in the first six monthsof 2014, down 14 percent onthe same period in 2013,and the lowest figure since2003. To put the figures incontext, the six month returnfor 2014 is the equivalent tothe numbers seen duringjust one month of Spain'sproperty boom of the previ­ous decade.

2 Friday, September 5, 2014

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DO YOU have a story that might grab the headlines?What’s all the gossip about round your way? A spateof robberies, perhaps – or maybe you’ve spotted acelebrity in the neighbourhood. Whether your newsinvolves fire, police, ambulance, accidents – or hap­

pier events like family weddings (particularly Goldenand Diamond ones!), Just phone the Courier officeon 966 921 003 or email office@thecourier.es We’rewaiting for your call…and next week’s Front Pagestory.

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WANTED – MORE HEADLINE NEWS!

JOBS FALLDespite regular warnings

to house holders, bogus gasinspectors and workers arestill being let into people'shomes. That's the view of theMurcia region La Asociaciónde Consumidores y Usuarios(Consumur), which says thatthey've had dozens ofreports over the summer ofDOMESTIC visits from fraud­sters. The consumer groupsay that many of the visitssurround claims that theywere going to inspect thebutano equipment and thatexcessive amounts werebeing charged for work,including a new trick of say­ing that they had to be amandatory change of thevalve that is linked to thebutano bottle. Consumaremphasise that no "ad hoc"visits should be allowed, andthat workmen should only beadmitted that customershave booked in advance andpreferably those that havedone a good job at a fairprice in the past.

GASCONS

3Friday, September 5, 2014

Whether they are under the mattress or in the coffee jar,Spaniards are holding on to 1.7 billion euros worth of pese­tas, the currency that disappeared when the euro was intro­duced 12 years ago. According to the Bank of Spain thereare 864 mIllion euros in notes and 805 million euros in coinsthat have yet to be cashed in. Last year the bank exchanged2.5billion pesetas for 15 million euros about 12 millions eurosof it in notes and the rest in coins.

When the euro was introduced on 1 January 2002, theSpanish government allowed both currencies to circulate forthree months, after which pesetas could be exchanged foreuros at any bank up until the end of June of that year.Thereafter, the exchange could only be made via the centralbank.

The central bank estimates that about 45% of the 1.7 bil­lion euros worth of pesetas in the public's hands will never beexchanged. It believes they are being kept by collectors,have been lost, or have left Spain in the pockets of the mil­lions of tourists who visit each year. People have until the endof 2020 to cash them in, after which the bank will cease toexchange them.

MUCHO DINERO

A woman set who set fire to supermarkets to avoid payingher grocery bill has been arrested. The 51 year old accusedwas caught by National Police in Huelva, south­westernSpain after an arson attack which caused flames of over fivefeet in height in a shopping aisle.

On each occasion, she is said to have started the fires totake advantage of the mayhem caused to sneak out of thestore with a full trolley. Two fires were started in branches ofthe same supermarket in the city within less than a week ofeach other, but on the second occasion she was unable toget away with her trolley and had to abandon it and leave onfoot.

Each time, once the panic among staff and customers hadsubsided and the flames put out, security guards found fire­lighters where the blaze had started. The total damagecaused to the supermarkets was over 2,000 euros.

SUPERMARKET SWEEPAn 18 year old man was

electrocuted after urinatingagainst a lamp post inMallorca in the early hoursof Sunday morning. He wassaid to be out partying andenjoying the annual sum­mer fiestas in Bunyola,when he needed to answera call of nature. The youthdecided to relieve himself atthe base of a street lightwhilst leaning against thelamp post, and suffered anelectric shock as a result.

He collapsed from theshock and hit his head onthe ground. Ambulance staff and police reached the scenewithin minutes after the accident, but they were unable tosave his life. Local authorities are started an immediateinvestigation to see if other lamp posts in the area had faultywiring, in addition to scrapping the rest of the Bunyola cele­brations in the wake of the tragedy.

SHOCK OF HIS LIFE

A hitch hit a wedding in Elche last Saturday afternoonwhen the car that was booked to carry the bride to churchwent up in smoke. The Rolls Royce, adorned in flowers,which had come to her home in the Carrus area of the citycaught fire as it was parked outside the apartment. Nobodywas injured as the driver was indoors, and alternativearrangements had to be made to get the bride to the churchon time.

FIERY NUPTIALS

A 68 year old Spanish man died whilst swimming with hisson at La Marina beach last week. The tragedy, lastThursday morning (August 28th) happened at 9.45am, whenthe son noticed that his father was unconscious, and with thehelp of other bathers, pulled him out of the water. Emergencyservices were unable to revive him.

LA MARINA DEATH

Barclays Bank's operationsin Spain have been boughtout by La Caixa for the sum of800 million euros. Personalbanking, asset managementand corporate banking will betaken over by CaixaBank,which will acquire 550,000 ofBarclays' customers, 270branches and 2,400 employ­ees. Barclays Bank, S. A. U. will continue to have a presencein Spain, albeit a much smaller one, and will focus on itsinvestment banking and Barclaycard lines of business only.

BARCLAYS BOUGHT

Two 24 hour rail strikes have been called by the drivers’union Semaf, which is set to severely affect RENFE serviceson Friday September 12th and Monday September 15th. Theindustrial action is a follow to two earlier strikes during thesummer with workers worried about changes to their con­tracts if services are privatised.

OFF THE RAILS

451 licenses to build new homes in Torrevieja have beenhanded out this year, which shows a rise of over 339 per centover the same period of 2014. Councillor Francisco Morenosays it is good news and that some two thousand jobs havebeen created because of the extra work. The high percent­age rises are however accounted for by the increases com­ing from a very low initial base caused by the recession.

BUILDING BOOST

British tourists are still very much dominating the OrihuelaCosta beaches and the area, according to figures pulledtogether by Orihuela’s tourist department. They’ve reachedthe conclusion based on the nationalities using the TouristInformation Offices in Playa Flamenca, La Glea, and ZeniaBoulevard over the summer. The services attracted the mostqueries from UK visitors, followed by those fromScandinavia.

BRITS LEAD THE WAY

Burqas could be banned inSpain as part of a package ofnew security reforms. Interiorminister, Jorge FernándezDíaz said the ban might beincluded in the final version ofSpain's draft Citizen SecurityLaw, which already includes provisions banning people fromhiding their faces in demonstrations.

Now could be a "good moment" to look to obtain "a level ofconsensus" on this issue, the interior minister noted. Díazstressed his department had no powers when it came toissues affecting the dignity of women, but could rule againstthe wearing of burqas and other full face veils on the groundsthey made identification of people difficult.

"I don't want to say a ban is necessary, " the minister said,but repeated this could be "a good moment" to consider sucha prohibition.

BURQA BAN?

4 Friday, September 5, 2014

A British coroner has ruled that three pensioners died on aSaga holiday after an outbreak of Legionnaires ‘disease attheir hotel where the water system was "fundamentallyflawed". Ray Jones, of Great Abington, Cambridgeshire,John Poland of York, and Thomas Elliot of Penzance, all suf­fered a fatal infection of the waterborne bacteria, during theirstay at the Diamante Beach Hotel in Calpe in January 2012.

In his conclusion, Cambridgeshire coroner David Morrissaid: "I think that the water system, the hot water system,was fundamentally flawed in its design and that it was anunsafe system, and I am minded to record that in my conclu­sion."

The hotel was built in 2006 and had a Legionnaire’s out­break a year after opening, although tour operators such asSaga were unaware of this due to the way outbreaks arereported. Barry Hilton, head of water services at TetraConsulting, was sent to investigate the hotel by Saga. Heconcluded that the bacteria probably thrived in 'dead legs' –redundant pipework – and had not been killed by the sys­tem's chlorifiers due to poor design.

FATALLY FLAWED

Multiple taxi numbers are still beingadvertised around the Rojales areadespite the launch towards the end ofJuly of a new single number to be usedby all local services. Pamphlets andposters in languages including Englishwere produced promoting the new 966196 999 number, but despite that, theInformacion newspaper reports thatmany taxi signs have not changed at the height of the touristseason. Councillor Desiderio Aráez of Pader (the RojalesDemocratic Party) has slammed the inaction of the counciland called for the signs to replaced as soon as possible.

UNCHANGINGNUMBERS

The experiment of running a direct high­speed RENFEAVE train service between Alicante and Seville has ended,and despite significant demand, RENFE have said that theydo not know when it plans to reintroduce it, adding that theydid not rule it out returning in the medium term. The companyare currently reviewing the ticket sales and income during thefive week summer trial, though services are still availablewhich mean physically changing trains in Madrid.

Meanwhile RENFE are offering some 50 thousand promo­tional tickets for services using the Mediterranean Corridor,with tickets using Euromed, Talgo and Intercity trains linkingValencia, Catalonia and Murcia. Tickets are available via therenfe.com website with a promotion allowing one way econ­omy travel between Alicante and Barcelona from 17.28 eurosand 15.60 euros.

TRIAL ENDS

A gang of young robbers, including two children, havebeen arrested for stealing five thousand euros of jewelleryfrom an Elche area house. After taking the items from theTorrellano home, they began flogging the loot at variouspawn and gold stores in the region, to avoid arousing anysuspicion. The plan went wrong when a store owner foundhimself presented with a valuable golden jewel by a young­ster at his business, and he then rang the police. All fivethieves were arrested in Torrellano, and three of thosenabbed by the local police had criminal records. They appar­ently got the keys to their targeted property from the owner'sgrandson.

INSIDE JOB

Murcia’s next presidentmight be restricted to eightyear’s in power, if currentpresident, Alberto Garre’splan is adopted by theregional parliament. Hismove would put a stop toendless terms in power, likeGarre’s predecessor,Valcarcel, who was in chargeof the Murcia region for 19years. Garre believes thiswould be much more demo­cratic, and should be some­thing that ought to apply to allof Spain’s regions.

ALBERTO’S GAMBIT

Santa Pola's Levante beach has a new water platformwhich can be used by disabled and elderly people as wellpregnant women, to enjoy the sea. An awning to provideshelter from the sun has been provided in addition to railingsand seats, with plans well in hand for a similar facilIty for theGran Playa.

BEACH JOY

A dozen flights were delayed in and out of Alicante­Elcheairport last Saturday due to a problem with the main air trafficcontrol system at Madrid airport. A two and a half hour sys­tem failure led to delays of up to 90 minutes in services usingAlicante­Elche, with 280 flights being affected nationwide.

RADAR GLITCH

A 70 year old driver died when he his car collided with abus in the Torrevieja area at 10.00pm last Sunday evening.The accident happened on Avenida Alfred Nobel close to theTorre del Moro urbanisation heading towards La Mata. Fiveother people were taken to Torrevieja Hospital with minorinjuries. The car had apparently veered across into the oppo­site carriageway before the crash happened.

CRASH DEATH

Costa Blanca tourist chiefsare trying to persuade visitorsto come to the area on mini­breaks this autumn, with theemphasis on people fromother parts of Spain. JoaquínAlbaladejo, AlicanteProvincial Council's tourismminister said that they werefocusing on last minute travellers ahead of the different startsto the school year across Spain's regions, by using the web­site, tuplancostablanca. He added that the province would berepresented at various domestic and international tourismevents, including a workshop in the Russian city ofSt.Petersburg organised by tour operator Versa at the end ofthe month.

GENTLE PERSUASION

Rojales council has denied deliberately burning gardenwaste on a municipal site on the Lo Marabu urbanisation.Rojales Mayor, Antonio Perez, said that a small fire had beencaused accidentally by a spark and was quickly extinguishedby council workers. The Mayor was responding to criticismfrom opposing political parties about the amount of noisecaused by the mechanical shredders on the site, and thatsome garden waste was being burnt illegally close to the res­idential area.

BRIGHT SPARK

Road signs and streetplates are set to be replen­ished across the Orihuelamunicipality after a new fouryear contract was awarded tothe lowest bidder, ApiMovilidad SL. They beat offcompetition from 17 othercompanies in the public ten­der, offering the lowest bid for the contract. On their list ofthings to do, will be the replacement of 642 missing streetplates on the Orihuela Costa, in addition to 704 missing num­ber signs in the coastal region.

SIGN OF THE TIMES

Alicante’s Province Council is dishing out over two millioneuros for road improvements across 42 municipalities, withsome of the money being used to repair country lanesaround Almoradi, Callosa del Segura, Rafal, and DayaNueva.

ON TAPImprovements to the water and sewage system in the Blue

Lagoon area of San Miguel de Salinas have been given thego ahead by the local council. Two new water sewage tanksare to be installed to improve the network after a recent pri­vate partnership improved the quality of drinking water in theLas Filipinas area.

SMOOTHER RIDESThe Tiger Mosquito is caus­

ing problems in parts of LaManga, with suspicions that thepests have been breeding in alarge garden in the Puertobelloarea. The insect specialises inliving in buildings, gardens, andbalconies, and is difficult tocontrol, and it has been sting­ing residents since the end ofJuly. The council has stepped up spraying in the area, withconcern from the home owners in Puertobello that the mos­quito could be spreading tropical diseases like chikungunya.

TIGER BITES Spain continues to be the world leader in organ transplantsfor the 23rd year running. Ahead of the USA and the whole ofthe European Union, the country has 35.3 donors per millioninhabitants, and carried out 4,279 of these delicate and oftenlife­saving operations last year

According to the Spain’s National Transplant Organisation,a total of 1,655 people donated their organs in 2013 includ­ing, in some cases, live donors. Whilst the EU has 19.5donors per million inhabitants ­ a long way behind the USA's25.8 ­ Spain is ahead of the field by a long way. In fact, 14%of all transplants in Europe are carried out in Spain, and 4%of all those in the world. Spain 'fitted' 2,552 new kidneys, ofwhich 15% were from live donors, plus 1,093 liver trans­plants, 249 heart transplants, 285 using lungs, 92 with pan­creas and eight new intestines.

ORGAN LEADER

5Friday, September 5, 2014

Segovia seems to sail like a ship to thebackdrop of the imposing SierraGuadarrama mountain range. The worldfamous Segovia aqueduct, standing 93 feethigh and consisting of 167 arches, to thisday carries water from the Rio Fria to theheart of the city. From the base of theAquaduct the city climbs steeply upwards. Inthe main square, the massive medievalcathedral. The last Gothic cathedral built inSpain. Its golden coloured stone glinting likesails in the sun. Narrow cobbled streets leadus past an array of shops, churches andmonasteries to the most amazing palacewhich offers stunning views of the valleybelow. Many of Spain’s most important his­torical figures have walked the corridors ofthis wonderful castle, the design of which issaid to have been the inspiration for the cas­tle in Walt Disney’s “Snow White and theseven Dwarfs".

Salamanca is not too far away. This cityrevolves round the biggest Plaza Mayor(Town square) in the country. One cathedralsimply wasn’t big enough. Visit the old uni­versity building with ornate walls which con­ceal the famous engraving of a frog on a

skull. It is really hard to spot. See if you cansee it. Being a university town, this city is fullof younger people giving the city a sense ofvibrancy.

Then on to Avila. Seen from a distance the meticulously

preserved 2,500 metres of city walls with 88towers and several city gates just has to beone of the most romantic sights in Spain.Storks nesting on the towers add the charmof this ancient city. Visit the smaller butequally exciting cathedral or the shrine of theirrepressible patron Saint of all Spain, SantaTeresa.

Finally – Pastrana.Patrana is a lovely little village set

amongst rolling hills covered in all sorts oftrees

You can do this journey with David’sCoachtrips SL for only 199€ HB. Based inbeautiful Segovia with daily outings thisexcursion is superb value for money. Datesavailable 2014. 4 days 23­26 Septemberand 27­30 October.

Reserve online atwww.coachtripsonline.com or call direct on966785910.

Spanish cities of note– Central Spain.

Police have collared a man who hasracked up over 40,000 euros in motoringfines whilst driving his dead brother's cararound Tarragona province. The 60 year oldlaw­breaker is said to have lost all his pointson his driving licence, which had expiredanyway seven year ago, and he built upover 200 fines for speeding and failing topay toll fees on motorways.

Inquiries were launched when

Catalunya's regional traffic department, theServei Català de Trànsit (SCT) told thepolice that they were having trouble pro­cessing the fines because the owner of thecar was shown as having died in 2012. Theyfinally tracked down the man who hadnotched up the fines, who is the car­owner'sbrother and is alive and well, during a roadstop in the Rambla Nova area of Tarragonacity.

DEAD RINGER

The streets of Torrevieja were full of music last Saturday night as the annual BandsFestival came to an end with the closing ceremony. The event, organised by the city's musi­cal society known as Los Salerosos handed a Scandinavian finale, with the entertainmentprovided by the Norweigan Kalbotn Konsert Orkester who performed around the Plaza de laConstitución area.

NORDIC NOTES

6 Friday, September 5, 2014

editor@thecourier.esCOURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

editor@thecourier.esCOURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

Stressed out by fear of Ryanscare

PLEASE PROVIDE ANADDRESS ANDCONTACT NUMBER(NOT FOR PUBLICA-TION) WITH YOURCONTRIBUTIONS TOTHE LETTERS PAGE

I READ Donna Gee’s article regard­ing her experience with Ryanairand Monarch and agree witheverything she wrote.

I use Ryanair all the time, butmust confess that if an alternativeairline is €20 more I will go with thealternative, just because of thecustomer service.

I then read all the responses tothe article and am somewhat con­fused.

Everybody has an opinion abouteverything and it’s great to hearother people’s views and experi­ences. But can someone advise orshow me where in the Terms &Conditions it clearly states thatpassengers will be treated in sucha manner that makes you feel like

a criminal, third­rate citizen andcause you as much stress as wecan. Please advise.

If people take the time to readDonna’s comments and many oth­ers, the main complaint is cus­tomer service, the attitude of thecabin staff and the lack of goodEnglish, which is below anyacceptable level of customer serv­ice.

Michael O’Leary (pictured right)even agrees that customer serviceis unacceptable. So to all thosewho write ‘comply with the T/Cs’,take a moment and read what hasbeen written. Ryanair provideaffordable travel. Period.

KEITH SMITHPilar de la Horadada

The Torrevieja branch of theAsociation Espanola Contra elCancer, AECC, was recently pre­sented with the sum of 2350euros by members of El Rasobased Ruby’s Golf Society. Themoney was raised in recognitionof the work carried out byAECC’s Torrevieja HospitalVolunteers in supporting Daren

Finucane, a founder member ofthe Golf Society, after recentcancer operations andchemotherapy follow up. Ruby’sGolf Society decided to supportthe volunteers by organisingfund­raising for AECC. The mainevent was a barbecue, raffle andauction of golfing items, whichtook place at Ruby's Bar. Money

was also raised with a golf eventsponsored by local businesses,who also chipped in with addi­tional support by providing raffleprizes and auction items. AECCwould like to thank Ruby's GolfSociety's committee and theirwives for their generosity. A bigthank you goes to the sponsorsand the people who donated

money and prizes for their gen­erosity too.

The photo shows AECCHospital Volunteer Ann Bissettreceiving the donation from for­mer patient Daren Finucane onher right and Ruby's Golf Societycommittee member JamesMcCarthy.

CANCER FIGHT BOOST

A sign ofthe timesas Elchesettle thesnore...

GRUMPY Gran wrote astory going back a whileabout here stomach/bowelproblems and I seem torecall it is similar to what Iam suffering at themoment.

I would be grateful of theback issue number so I canre­read the article if that isat all possible.

CHRIS SMITHSON

qGrumpy Old Gran(Donna Gee) com­

ments: Chris, I’m not surewhich article you are refer­ring to so am emailing youdirect to obtain more infor­mation. I have two grand­daughters with Crohn’sDisease (both in remissionat present), my only sisterhas Celiac Disease and myyounger daughter suffersfrom irritable bowel syn­drome. My own digestivesystem has had its ownweird programme since Iwas 10 years old. So thefamily has a pretty goodgrasp of the subject and Iam sure I can point you inthe right direction...

SEVERAL weeks ago Iwrote an article called‘Why I Am Not Going ToWatch Elche This Season’which provoked someinterest.

Any lingering doubts Ihad were immediately dis­missed when I (eventually!)saw details of Elche’s firsthome game of the season:Sunday night, kick­off 11pm!

What planet are thesepeople on, you’d get homeafter one o’clock in themorning – do they expectchildren to go?

Words fail me… JOHN Mcgregor

Life can beso hard to stomach...

Friday, September 5, 2014 7

DO you ever wonder whethercats and dogs have the powerof speech but keep shtum toavoid being put to work?

Food bills are a pet problem in CasaDonna, which is why I spend half mylife lugging trolleyloads of animal grubaround Mercadona.

I’m convinced my cats understandboth Spanish and English as well astheir own un­purr­nouncable lan­guage. Catatonic, I think it’s called.

The whiskered ones are also as foxyas Basil Brush. They know that themoment they utter a recognisibleword, I’ll have them working as inter­preters to help pay the mogg­age.

So they just eat, sleep and playwhile muggins seeks ways of claiminganimal meals allowance.

It's not so much the cost of feedingmy black beauties, Tom, Dick andMolly (Molly's the odd one out in everyway). A menagerie of feral visitorshave also adopted the cat flap in my

22 reasons why I spend too much on my pigging cats

scullery door as an accesspoint to a never­ending sup­ply of edible gold.

Molly is the one excep­tion. She doesn't do catflaps, queues or being niceto other creatures.

''Cat flaps hurt my head,'' isher lame excuse (she’s alsogot arthritis in her legs).

''That's surprising sincethere's nothing inside yourhead,'' is my answer. ''Andyou've just given away thefact you can talk. Here arethe car keys ­ go and do theshopping.''

Some hope. Molly is asbad as the rest of them. Justwants to sleep all day, eat allnight, and spend the in­between time cleaning her­self. It makes me lick (sick as

well) that while the cats lazeabout, I fork out at least 50evros a week to keep them inthe luxury they demand.

So I was staggered to dis­cover that my friends Markand Judith Heyes spend onlyHALF that amount on foodfor their TWENTY­TWO pets.

The Guardamar garageowner and his wife sharetheir La Marina finca withthree dogs, six cats andthree kittens, plus 10 exoticcreatures including aVietnamese pot­belly pig, atarantula, two bearded drag­ons and a toad.

And Judith insists thetotal weekly bill to feed allof them is just 25 evros.

Clearly I’ve gone wrongsomewhere, or my cat colonyis even cleverer than Ithought.

Back in the Heyes finca,son Jack keeps a supply ofcrickets padded up to batagainst bearded dragons

Dane and Athena. in a gamethey can’t win. Most go infeet first and perish LBC (legbefore cricket, that is.

Add to Lola's websiteCharlie the Vietnamese pot­belly pig, tortoises Fred andWilma, terrapin Crusty andtoad Todmandu, and youhave the embryo of a minivisitors' centre which couldbenefit animal charities aswell as entertain inquisitiveyoungsters.

Mark and Judith discov­ered the animal within longbefore they moved fromTyneside to Spain in 2002.Back in South Shields, theirpets included three GreatDanes and a snake.

Mark is currently workingon a swimming pool forCrusty the terrapin ­ andfuture additions to the familymay well see Charlie gettinga new partner.

Mark owned a garage inSouth Shields for 15 years

before relocating to Spainand establishing himself as atop mobile mechanic in thispart of the Costa Blanca.

He set up the Performance& Diesel Centre in 2007.

At home in La Marina, itwas already raining catsand dogs, not to mentionpigs and toads, as the petcolony heaed for satura­tion point.

Says Judith: ''Having builtup his reputation as a mobilemechanic. Mark decided heneeded a base to work from,other than our garden!.

''So he found a large unit inGuardamar which is nowequipped with four vehiclelifts, latest diagnostic equip­ment, and everything youneed to run a successfulbusiness.

‘It’s worked out very wellfor us. But you’re spendingtoo much on your cat food,pet.’’

THE HEYES ZOO’S WHO...Mark, Judith, Jack and Josey Heyes sharetheir rural residence in La Marina with atotal of 22 traditional and exotic pets. Thisis the full Zoo’s Who...DOGS - German Shepherd (Roxy), StBernard (Bernie), Burmese Mountain Dog(Teddy). CATS - Jasper, Niggy, Flash, Gemma,Michael and Molly, plus three yet-to-be-named kittens born this summer. Pot-Belly Pig - (Charlie). Tarantula - (Lola).Bearded Dragons - (Bane and Athena).Tortoises - (Fred and Wilma). Terrapin -(Crusty). Ferrets - (Johnny and Sid). Toad - (Toadmandu). LATE ENTRY: Iggy the iguana died last winter.

CRICKET, ANYONE? Bane and Athena prepare to play a straight bite

Sid the ferret pre­pares to make hismark on Mark...

Bernie checksout a Kitten’s GotTalent contender

Iggy the Iguana:He died a fewmonths ago

DOG ATWORK:Roxy onoffice duty

HOW NOWBROWNSOW: Charliemay be gettinga new partner

THE PURR-ICE ISWRONG, PET

8 Friday, September 5, 2014

9Friday, September 5, 2014

10 Friday, September 5, 2014

WHAT a shock we got atthe pub the other evening.Would you believe anotherstranger came through thedoor ­­ the third in just afew weeks. That is the thirdstranger not the third door.Blimey, I'm ramblingalready and it's only thefirst paragraph.

Anyway, what was particu­larly startling about the latestvisitor was that this strangerwas . . . er . . . a strangeress.Yes, dear readers, a womanhad entered our small mas­culine world ­­ our haven forthe hairy, our retreat for therugged, our sanctuary for the. . . well, you get my drift.

Please don't get mewrong. The members of thepub discussion group adorethe ladies. It's just that theyfrighten us, too.

The first female we eversaw in our male domain wasDaft Barry's mother. She hadcome looking for her sonbecause he hadn't eaten allof his tea before he had leftthe house an hour earlier andshe was worried he might

lose weight and plunge downa grid.

Daft Barry's mother wor­shipped her son and DaftBarry revered his mum. Shedemonstrated her worship ofhim by constantly cookinghim large, stodgy meals andhe showed his reverence forher by scoffing all that wasput before him after firstsmothering thealways giant­sized plateswith brownsauce, toma­to ketchupand Dijonmustard. Onecould say withsafe certaintythat Daft Barry con­sumed his food with relish.

One might also say thatDaft Barry was gargantuan­sized and moved about veryslowly because of his vastgirth. Only that would be alie. Daft Barry was, in fact,whippet­thin and ultra­fast onhis feet.

I suspect that he had arapid metabolism. However,

his enzyme­catalysed reac­tions ended somewhere inthe region of his thinkingequipment. For Daft Barry'sbrain was slow to metaboliseconversation.

Don't get me wrong, theguy was not stupid; he wasmore sort of innocent, unso­phisticated, artless, ingenu­

ous, inexperienced, guile­less, unworldly, childlike,trusting, wide­eyed, unaffect­ed and unpretentious. As isplain to see, it is difficult tofind a word to describe him.

For instance, when DaftBarry first came into the puband intimated that he wouldlike to join our small band ofmerry intellectuals, we decid­ed to set him an initiationtest. 'Do me a favour, Barry,'said Dave the barman.'Would you go to the cup­board round the back andfetch me the left­handed

mop.'Daft Barry disappeared

without question or hesi­tation and we all gig­gled and chortled at hisnaivety ­­ until hereturned merelymoments later clutch­ing what he claimedwas the aforemen­tioned left­handedmop.

Each of us in turnscrutinised theobject and, try aswe might, could

find nothing that would dis­pute Daft Barry's declarationthat it was indeed therequested southpaw cleans­ing implement. We burst intoapplause for Daft Barry andwelcomed him as an officialmember of the pub discus­sion group.

So where was I? Oh, yes,the episode of the stranger­ess the other evening.Before all us menfolk couldflee in fear from the premis­es, the female intruder strodeup to the bar and spoke.

'My name is AndromedaArkwright. I have just movedinto the area and intend tojoin your band of brothers. Iam a sweet and lovable per­son but if any of you upsetme I shall eat you for break­fast!'

None of us caughtAndromeda's cheeky littlewink. Indeed, Daft Barryscreamed: 'She's a cannibal!'

The shriek woke up Ol'Red Eyes who hissed intomy ear: 'Get her to take theinitiation test.' I hissed back:'Are you kidding me? Send

this dame for the left­handedmop and she'll wipe the floorwith us.'

Andromeda thrust out herhand to Dave the barmanwho observed: 'Andromedais not a common namearound here, Andromeda,even though I've just utteredit twice in one sentence.'

Our guest smiled at Davethe barman. 'It's actually ofGreek origin and means"ruler of men." But don't letthat put you off. Might I ordernow? Drinks all round, meinhost. And would you kindlyintroduce your friends to me.'

Whatever fears we had feltmelted away at the offer ofthe free round. Within min­utes we were all great mates.Apart from Daft Barry whowas still quaking in hisgaloshes.

'Whatever's the matter,Barry?' we asked in unison.'This nice lady is one of usnow.'

Daft Barry looked down atthe floor, gulped and whis­pered into my ear: 'I think Ineed the mop.'

MRS. MOP CLEANS UP

11Friday, September 5, 2014

The musical version of the hit TV comedy,Are You Being Served, is set to hit the stagenext month at San Miguel’s Casa delCultura, as the Campoverde Theatre Groupput on I’m Free.

This production will follow the same formatas their recent successful show, Di de Diwhich gained some excellent reviews fromenthusiastic audiences. I’m Free will featurethe birthday celebrations of Young Mr.Gracewith a variety of familiar sixties songs thatwill get everybody in the audience joining in.

The production will run from FridayOctober 10th through tlll Sunday October

12th with curtain up at 7.30pm. Tickets arenow available from Colin on 966 774 127and Bargain Books in San Miguel.

Melody Makers International, who for thelast five years have been the most suc­cessful choir on the Costa, are seekingnew members to swell their ranks for thenew season starting 9th September.

The choir, under the direction of profes­sional singer, conductor and vocal tutor,Nigel Hopkins, regularly sings to audi­ences of 1,000 in the fabulous OrihuelaCosta Resort. They are accompanied by aprofessional band flown in specially fromthe UK.

Known also as the Friendly Choirbecause of the warm welcome given to

new members, and the fun rehearsalswhich reap such excellent results, thegroup is embarking on it's next show, enti­tled 'Music of the Night' ­ and rehearsalsstart on 9th September at the AsturiasRestaurante. These take place from5.30pm ­ 7.30pm each Tuesday.

Any singers who would like to beinvolved in this experience should comealong to a rehearsal, or telephone 966 775976 for further details. Anyone with a voicewho can sing in tune is welcome as fulltraining is given by our leading voice coachand conductor.

Top choir seeks new members

By AndrewAtkinson

Elche Children’s Home willbenefit from the Charity Horseand Flamenco Show spectacu­lar at Casa la Pedrera,Torremendo on SaturdaySeptember 13th.

"Jay Markwick's Company ofDancers, Emma Tytherleighand Juan Cortez are perform­ing in this special show for theElche youngsters”, said houseowner, Jenni Ray. “It promisesto be a magical evening set ina sunset backdrop with amaz­ing horses and wonderfulFlamenco enthralling audi­ences with dance, drama, daring and fires.”

Jenni's daughter's Eden and Linzi were inaction last month at the Horse and Flamencoshow performing some fabulous vaultingtricks on their horse Aero, who had been out

of action, and enjoyed a glorious return towowing the audience once more!

Tickets will be 12 euros for adults; sixeuros for children and a family ticket for twoadults and two children works out at 30euros.

SADDLE UP FOR ELCHE KIDS

Generous passengers using Torrevieja­based David Coachtrips have provided abig boost of other eight thousand euros forthe company’s designated charity, theAlzheimer’s Association. 8,296 euros wasraised over the last year by travellers buy­ing up raffle tickets, with a five dayBenidorm Xmas break and a 15 dayMediterranean cruise as the top prizes.Myra Macrae from The Courier drew thewinning ticket for the cruise, which was wonby William Maginnes of Elche.

BIG RAFFLE REWARDS

The MABS Cancer Support group for Murcia and the MarMenor is the latest local group to get involved with trying toget some brave souls to try for the Ice Bucket challenge.Many local people who have gone for it have nominatedMABS as their beneficiary with one of the first to go for itbeing Mark McCluskey from La Rosa Bar in San Cayetano.

A MABS spokesperson said:­ "Awareness of MABS ishigher than ever due to the power of the internet, especiallyFacebook, and we thank every single person who did the IceBucket Challenge for MABS. Every euro goes towards help­ing cancer patients and their families to make life a little biteasier at what is a very frightening time."

If you wish to donate or upload your video here is the pageto do it https://www.facebook.com/mabsmurciamarmenordon't forget #icebucketchallenge4mabs

BUCKET OF CHEER

Some proud dog owners and of course theanimals themselves have been picking up theirobedience course certificates and prizes afterthe latest round of classes from theCampoverde Canine Club. The CCC has beengoing for 14 years and over that time manyowners have benefited from expert tuition,from a Home Office improved instructor. Newcourses will be starting very soon and of youare interested in training your four leggedfriend, then phone Roy on 966 762 265 oremail:­campoverdecanineclub@outlook.com

BEST FRIENDS TRAINED

FREE FOR LAUGHS

If you enjoy singing, then the Casa TomCommunity Choir would love to hear fromyou. This new group will be starting theirautumn rehearsals this MondaySeptember 8th at 2.00pm in the San Luisarea of Torrevieja. Everybody is welcome

join the choir and there are no auditions,with men and women of all ages wel­come.

For more information call or e­mailTerry on 647 189 135 or casatomsan­luis@gmail.com

TOM’S WELCOME

Age Concern have had to closetheir information office at PlayaFlamenca Town Hall, due to a lackof volunteers. Anyone wishing tocontact Age Concern can still usethe Playa Flamenca published tele­phone number of 697 176 154 orthey can call the Day Centre in LaSiesta, Torrevieja on 966 786 887.

CAUSE FOR CONCERN

12 Friday, September 5, 2014

Our beautiful Balu is avery happy and playful littlekitten. Seen alone in a gar­den he was rescued andafter being examined by ourvet he is now in a fosterhome and offered for adop­tion. He is approx 10 weeksold and very sociable. Call:645 469 253. www.petsin­spain.com

Mamma is about 2 yearsold she is a small to mediumsize Podenco cross, she issuch an amazing girl withthe most beautiful browneyes. She is very easy goingand is great with people andother dogs. She is housetrained and very wellbehaved and currently livingin a foster home. Pleasecall 650 304 746 or Email:p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmail.com

Born in May 2012 Drakeis a small tabby male. He isa lovely cat, but is veryunhappy and stressed livingin the APAH Cattery with lotsof other cats. He would bemuch happier in a homeenvironment and wouldmake a lovely cat for some­one wanting affection. Tomeet him and the otherAPAH cats, please call 630422 563 or 616 210 850.

ROCCO was found at theside of a main road late oneevening scavenging forfood; he was very thin, fullof ticks and had veryinflamed skin. He hasundergone treatment and hehas also put on someweight. Rocco is a happyboy who has lots of energyand loves to play; he hasbeen fully vaccinated, microchipped and castrated andstill only young at one yearold. Please contact the ken­nels directly on 966710047or email info@satanimalres­cue.com

Heidi is such a sweet littlegirl, she was 1 of 300 dogsin a house in Murcia thatneeded urgent rescue, shecrawled up to us on hertummy as we were leavingthe house where we hadalready rescued 10 dogsand we couldn’t leave her.She is around 6 months old,weighs about 6 kilos and willbe medium size when fullygrown. Call: 645 469 253.www.petsinspain.com

Born in February 2012,Billy and Bobby are largebut very gentle dogs. Theywere rescued by APAH assmall puppies and havenever known a home envi­ronment, but they wouldmake wonderful family dogs.To arrange to meet thebrothers, please call 630422 563 or 616 210 850.

Ellie only has one backleg, but it doesn't stop herrunning around. Her story isshocking, not only could herowner have saved her leg ifhe had acted in time, butafter her leg had to beamputated, he abandonedher to an uncertain future bytelling the police that he hadfound her. Fortunately forEllie she was recognisedand the whole sorry storycame out. She is a lovelygirl who needs a far betterhome than she had. Tomeet Ellie, please call 630422 563 or 616 210 850.

Surely there must be aretirement home some­where for this very lovingvery well behaved girl,Estrella is 10 years old andshe came to our attentionwhen the vet called to say a

hunter had brought her inand wanted to put her down.We could not let that happenso we took her on. She is alovely dog that loves beingwith people and will followyou around or sit with you.Please telephone the PEPAhelpline on 650 304 746 oremail p.e.p.a.animalchari­ty@gmail.com

She is about 1 year oldvery placid and affectionate.

Good with other dogs andchildren, loves sitting onyour lap and snuggling up toyou. Curly Sue is a smalldog, she was given hername because her tail curlsover her back. Please con­tact K9 or PHONE 600 8454 20 for more infowww.k9club.es

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT?

This week werescued Lulu, atiny female dog,around four yearsold, in one of theworst ever condi­tions I have everseen. These pho­tos will speak forthemselves. She has exposed skin, sores,ulcers and many other ailments.

It will take months of our dedicated care to get Lulu backto full health. We are a new registered charity and we arestruggling for funding. We now have 28 animals under ourcare and the bills, especially vet bills can be very high eachmonth, due to the level of treatment many of the animals wehave need. We have collection tins that can be placed in barsetc…. and if you would be kind enough to have one of thesetins on our behalf, please get in touch with me.

We are working tirelessly on behalf of these wonderful ani­mals and there are many now waiting to come into our care.Please donate if you can and the details are below. This is aserious plea for funding.

www.thedogyouneed.com is a registered charity, where werehabilitate the most severely abused animals. Our charityregistration number is 1157175. If you would be kind enoughto donate anything to this special cause you can do byPaypal, where the account details are peter@thedogy­ouneed.com or to our Nat West charity account, where thesort code is 60­16­03 and the account number is 73754900.

Thank you.

LITTLE LULUNEEDS HELP

Balu

Mamma

Drake

Rocco

Heidi

Billy

Ellie

Estrella Curly Sue

I am often asked quickfire questions by peoplewanting advice about their dogs, the most com­mon being, “How do I stop my dog from beingaggressive”? Many people think the answer will be quick and decisive, butthere is no one answer to one question when it comes todogs. The reason for this is because everything is connectedand everything you do with your dog will have a particularmeaning.As an example, take a dog that is showing signs of aggres­sion. I have to look at many aspects of what and how thehuman is interacting with the dog, to find out where the prob­lem lies. All of the following need to be discussed: How are you exercising the dog and how often, how are youcorrecting the dog, at what times are you giving affection, therecall, separation anxiety, what happens at feeding times,along with one of the most important aspects, which is, theemotions and thoughts of the human, not just when they are

with their dogs, but when they are on their own.So, as you can see, there can never be a quickfire answer.Take us, the human race, for example. Many of the problemswe go through in life are not down to one specific aspect.There will be many facets that contribute to a certain prob­lem or negative emotion. It could be how we were raised, theenvironment we are now living in, the people around us, amedical problem, constantly living your life at 150 miles perhour, a lack of understanding to your situation or a certainsituation and many more. When I say to people that they need to book a consultationor attend one of my seminars, to gain a complete under­standing of their dogs and the answers to the problems theyare experiencing, I do not suggest this for the benefit of mybank account. I am simply not made that way. My goal is to make sure that all of my clients, after a consul­tation, or seminar, have a very clear and easy to understandroute of how to gain calm, balance and peace for bothhuman and dog. That is why the average time I spend in a

consultation is four and a halfhours and one of my latest con­sultations lasted seven hours. Learning a new language isfascinating, but learning thelanguage of your dog, who hasstood by you faithfully for manyyears is mind­blowing for myclients, who begin to look attheir dogs and life in a com­pletely new and positive way. You can only gain a successfulrelationship with a dog, or evenanother human being, whenyou understand the whole pic­ture and not just part of it.

WHY THE AGGRESSION?

13Friday, September 5, 2014

STRANGE BUT TRUEA woman

whose lastname is Crispihas beenaccused of try­ing to burndown her ex­b o y f r i e n d ' shouse by inten­tionally leavinga pound ofbacon on the stove.

Cameo Crispi is alleged tohave purposely left the meaton a lit burner.

Police said the 32­year­old, from Vernal, Utah, calledand sent text messages toher former flame throughoutthe alleged incident, com­pelling him to call 911.

On arrival, officers foundsmoke streaming out of thefront door, hot coals on thefloor and a pound of "severe­ly burned bacon" inside theproperty.

A police report said of theincident: "I asked to come inand observed a wood stoveleft open with a fire burninginside and hot coals on thefloor around the stove."

"I observed the burner tobe on the setting “High” andthe bacon to be severelyburned and smoking badly."

Crispi, who was four times

over the legal drink­drivinglimit, will stand trial oncharges of arson and burgla­ry when she returns to courtin October.

NOT LOVING IT A McDonald's branch in

Arizona has become thefirst of its kind after scrap­ping the company's GoldenArches in favour of aturquoise letter 'M'.

The move came aboutafter officials in Arizonasaid the restaurant wouldnot be allowed to openunless the corporation cameup with a compromise.

Strict laws in the city ofSedona state that no build­ing is allowed to ruin theviews of the state's sur­rounding desert.

The idea for the turquoisesign was raised and subse­quently approved to hang onthe side of the eatery's build­ing, which also abides by astrict colour code havingbeen built using orange andred materials.

While the unusual move isthe first time a McDonald'srestaurant has opened it's

doors without it's famousyellow logo outside, it is notthe only abnormal storefrontwithin the company's 30,000branches.

Perhaps the most surpris­ing location you can find aMcDonald's in would be theone located within notoriousdetention campGuantanamo Bay.Surrounded by barbed wire itdoesn't look particularly invit­ing, despite the blue skiesand palm trees in the back­ground. The outlet is onlyaccessible to the base's per­sonnel and is the onlyMcDonald's in Cuba.

CRISPI BACON NO KIDDING!L o n d o n

Underground com­muters were stunnedwhen a GOAT casu­ally strolled throughthe ticket barrier.

The horned browngoat named Barney,from Vauxhall CityFarm, was spotted atVauxhall Station byCity workers onThursday morning.

But don't worry, goats aren't taking over the world just yet­ it turns out it was a publicity stunt to promote Transport forLondon's first above ground map of the Victoria line.

14 Friday, September 5, 2014

During a recent trip to Manchester,I found myself in the middle of a bigshopping hub, with the ArndaleCentre at the core featuring differentstores selling all your needs, fromfood to bags and everything in­between!

I stumbled along the road dragging behindme a slowly breaking suitcase fighting my waythrough the hoards of people, all apparentlywith the same idea as me, which was to get intoas many shops as possible in the shortest time!My excuse was that I had a flight to catch, but Ihad no idea what was going through the mindsof these people at my side!

Upon my arrival in the UK, the weather, as Istepped from the plane, was cold and overcastwith a hint of rain, but once I had reached thecentre, I found the sun had come out and therewas quite a warm feel to the air, which wasquite something for Manchester! My cardiganbegan to heat me a bit too much as I scurriedalong from the train station to the Arndale, andonce inside I knew exactly where to go and Imanaged to finish my shop from a fortnight earlier, stockingup on classroom bits and pieces, although I didn´t manage toget anything for my son. I was sure he would understand, itwas a hurried visit after all, and understand he did.

My words this week are not about my exploits at spendingas much money as I could in the shortest time possible, butit is about the sheer volume of people ambling along the roadin an area of the UK which I believe isn´t the most affluent inthe country. If Europe is supposed to be in the middle of a

recession, what is happening to the locals? How do theyhave such disposable income that they can afford to pop outon a Wednesday afternoon to spend, spend, spend? I amsure that I´m doing some people a great injustice, as therewere some on lunch breaks, whilst others were travelling likeme or some maybe meeting friends for a coffee and chat, butI was surprised at the sheer volume. My afternoon was spentdodging folk like my son tries to dodge homework, and as Iwas lugging my ever expanding case behind me this was farfrom easy!

Maybe I have just been spoiled, as living inSpain I´m not used to having to push throughcrowds when I want to go somewhere, I canusually walk around my local shopping centrefreely and in a relaxed mood. I do like the UKshopping areas, as they seem to have some­thing the Spanish ones don´t, and I believeit´s the type of shops that exist in the UK. Forexample, I love bookshops and of coursepound shops and these are abundant overthere, something which is sadly lacking herein Spain. In fact apart from my girls, the shopsare the only other thing that makes a Britishvisit bearable.

I would have loved to have asked a lot ofthe people where they were going and whatthey were doing in Manchester city centre? Iam still amazed by the huge amount andcan´t help but wonder, is there a recessiongoing on there? Are the people there feelingthe pinch as much as we are in Spain? To seethat type of crowd on a Saturday would havesurprised me, but to see it mid­week, albeit inthe middle of August was unexpected. I sup­

pose it´s good in a way that people are spending their money,milling around with all the time in the world to do whateverthey want , but it takes me back to my question of how? Iguess I will never know, for now I am just happy to be backin sunny Spain, enjoying my occasional shopping days inpeace, able to walk where I want without worrying aboutpushchairs running me over or bags hitting me on the legs,and looking forward to the next time I have to fight my waythrough the shops. Maybe next time, I’ll go and I´ll get someshin pads and be more prepared!

MANCUNIAN MAYHEM

Who’d have thought thatgood old Clacton on Seawould be thrust into thelimelight of British politicsafter the shock announce­ment that their local ToryMP has switched to UKIPand will force a by­elec­tion?

Clacton’s best known forbeing a seaside resort thatwas home to one of the firstButlin’s holiday camps, andfor fans of history, the areaunearthed the oldest woodenspear to be found in Britain: ­way back in 1911 and giventhe somewhat obvious nameof the Clacton Spear!

A dagger might be a moreappropriate object that DavidCameron and the Tories willbe looking for, in order tostab defector DouglasCarswell who has givenUKIP a blinding coup that willhave very serious implica­tions for the Conservativesbetween now and theGeneral Election in theSpring. UKIP boss NigelFarage looked like a school­

15Friday, September 5, 2014

WHAT TO DO IF YOU’VEBEEN BURGLED.

Statistics in SpainCrime rates in Spain remain among the lowest in the EU according to the latest Interior

Ministry crime report. However, since the economic crisis began in 2008, there has beena steep increase in domestic burglaries and theft as a result. In 2012 the number of bur­glaries in homes rose by 25.4%. The message to expat residents is not to panic. Thereare some simple precautions to take, as you would back in the UK, such as fitting securitygrills, installing exterior lights and alarms, being careful about what content is posted onsocial networks, especially anything to do with trips and holidays away from home. It alsohelps to take out a quality home insurance policy that will cover your home and its con­tents should any unfortunate incident occur.

When you discover you’ve been burgledAs soon as you discover you’ve been burgled, whether it’s a break­in or theft at your

home, first call the police. Don’t touch anything until they arrive. A police report will beneeded to process your claim.

Then secure your home to avoid further damage, board up any broken windows, makea list of damaged or missing belongings, detail the damage to your home resulting fromthe burglary, taking photographs of damaged windows or door.

At this point, you can call the claims department of your home insurance company. Weadvise you to have your policy on hand when you call.

Peace-of-mind with Linea DirectaWe understand that your peace­of­mind is important, especially in your home. Our

claims department will take a full statement of the circumstances of the incident. We willcheck the insurance coverage with you explaining all the procedures. If emergency repairsare required from locksmiths to glaziers, we will help you swiftly handle your claim and getthings back to normal as soon as possible. Fortunately, incidents of theft in Spain are rel­atively small compared to other EU countries, however should you be burgled, your home­owner’s insurance policy will cover the loss or destruction of personal property if it’s stolenfrom your home.

Hold-up outside the homeIn many cases, your home insurance policy may cover you for any incidents that occur

outside your home. Should you be the victim of a hold­up outside your premises your per­sonal belongings are covered. We will ensure replacement documents are quickly andefficiently dealt with, and if required, arrange the locks on your home to be changed.

We hope the information provided in this article is of interest.If you would like to contact Linea Directa please call 902 123 161

More information on Linea Directa online at www.lineadirecta.com

boy who had kissedhis first girlfriendwhen he sat along­side Carswell whenhe made hisannouncement. Heeven said thatCarswell’s act inresigning and stand­ing again in a by­election was themost principled polit­ical act that he hasever come across.Farage must havethen convenientlyforgotten that ex­Tory leadership con­tender David Davisstood down back in2008 to force a by­election over the issue ofcivil liberties, but there is alink between Davis andCarswell. Both knew theywere onto a winner.

Principles are all verywell, but Douglas Carswell isno fool. A popular figure inthe media who would alwayshave plenty to say in slag­ging off David Cameron in

front of the cameras, he hasbuilt up a powerful personalbase in Clacton since hefirst became an MP in 2005,and he’s done the maths inworking out that he’ll walkthe by­election for UKIP. Infact an opinion poll lastweekend suggested that hewould get an astonishingtwo­thirds of the vote when it

comes to the election! It’s alot easier to be principledwhen you know that yourself­preservation is astraight­forward matter, asopposed to being in a mar­ginal seat where you have toplay a different sort of game!That’s why some Tories arescared to jump into the UKIPfold, but a runaway win for

Carswell may get them tochange their mind. UKIPalso get a big bonus of anew standard bearer, whohas some great intellectualqualities, as opposed to thesomewhat ragbag collectionof buffoons that haveembarrassed Farage onnumerous occasions.

Farage is claiming that

there are Labour MPsplanning to jump shipbut I don’t buy intothat, unless he quicklyproduces a rabbit outof the hat to silencethe doubters. Whyshould they switch asthey are onto a winnerright now? EdMiliband and Labour,despite the bigimprovements in theUK economy, are aracing certainty to bethe largest party at thenext General Electionas crucial Tory votesget siphoned into theUKIP bucket, as wellboundary changes

that favour Labour. Andthat’s the massive ironyabout all of this. Labour willnot have a referendum overthe EU, whilst the Tories will,yet UKIP are going toensure that Ed Miliband willbe the next Prime Minister.Anti­EU voters need toremember that when theycast their ballots next May.

SEASIDE SHUFFLE

Friday, September 5, 201416

Have you experienced therollercoaster of emotionsas we have over the heart­breaking story of AshyaKing, the five­year­old boywith a brain tumour spirit­ed away fromSouthampton Hospital?

First we heard the parentshad, against advice of doc­tors, taken the boy out of thefacility. And we thought,crazy parents, here we goagain:­ parents knowing bet­ter than doctors perhaps dueto the internet, where peopleon the make put all kinds ofmoney­making things. Nextwe heard they wereJehovah´s Witnesses andthought, people putting theirreligious beliefs above theneeds of their own son.Then we heard the reasonwhy the couple hadsnatched their son from thehospital and drove him toSpain was they could not gethim the treatment theybelieved could give him thebest possible chance of sur­vival. It was at this point thatpublic opinion changed.Were the police right todemand an internationalarrest warrant against thefamily? Had the doctors atthe hospital been asstraightforward as theyshould have been in disclos­ing what the family actuallywanted and were beingdenied to them in Britain?Was Ashya´s condition real­ly as critical as the doctorswere claiming or were theysimply covering their backs?I have no criticism againstthe police. Sadly, they havebeen pilloried over this butthey did everything right. Itappeared to be an over­zealous reaction from theCrown Prosecution Servicewho issued an extradition

warrant for the Kings, whowere then separated fromtheir child and forced in frontof a Madrid judge.Fortunately reason pre­vailed, but all this asks areally big question. Are wefalling victim into still believ­ing that the NHS and Britishdoctors are the be all andend all of medical expertise?I´m beginning to think not.

What the parents of Ashyawanted was pioneering newcancer treatment called pro­ton beam therapy, whichdirects charged particlesinstead of X­rays to deliverradiotherapy to cancerpatients.

Instead of a mass of X­rays which does so muchharm to surrounding tissues,this pin­pointing directsradiotherapy only to thetumour, giving it a maximumzap. Makes plenty of senseto me. In general, it givesfewer side­effects comparedto high energy X­ray treat­ments. It can be used totreat spinal cord tumours,sarcomas near the spine orbrain, prostate cancer, lungcancer, liver cancer andsome children's cancers. InDecember 2011, the UKDepartment of Health saidthat proton therapy will bemade available for patientsin London and Manchesterfrom 2018. 2018? That´sfour years away. It´s neededNOW in Britain. It´s not goodenough Cameron. Not goodenough NHS, not goodenough British government.Is it yet another example ofthe NHS being starved ofmoney and providing a sec­ond class service? Othercountries are pioneering thistherapy NOW. That´s whythis couple wanted to gettheir son to a country which

is clearly overtaking Britainand its struggling NHS.

The NHS said the medicaltreatment costs around£100,000, but the figure isbased on sending someoneto the US. There are alsonumerous centres providingthis treatment in Europewhere the treatment cancost less than £20,000. TheNHS is increasingly fallingbehind. We know that inSpain you go to the medicalcentre and the doctor con­nects directly onto the hospi­tal computer and confirmsan appointment for X­rays,tests, etc, there and thenand gets the results back indays. In Britain this rigma­role takes weeks. While inBritain part of my tooth fellout. I asked for an appoint­ment at an NHS dentist. Iwas told there was a threeweek waiting list. "Now tellme how long I have to wait ifI am prepared to be a privatepatient with you," I asked thereceptionist. "Come straightaway," I was told. Choice?Yes, only if you have money.Anyway, Britain and theNHS has, in my opinion, lostthe plot. We have that horri­ble Quango called NICEwhich decides which treat­ment is cost effective andcan be approved for NHSuse and what is too expen­sive. In my world, not aNICE Quango at all.

Southampton Hospitalhas said that throughoutAshya's admission they hadconversations about thetreatment options availableto him, and they offered thefamily access to a secondopinion, as well as assis­tance with organising treat­ment abroad. So, perhaps,the family, in taking him outof hospital, was premature

and they should haveexplored the hospital's offers­ giving the story to newspa­pers to ensure the best pos­sible outcome under the fullglare of publicity. What isgoing wrong with the NHS inBritain? In my opinion it isbecause it is in "competition"with private medicine.People with money can optout and go private, as I did toget my tooth repaired withinhours. If they had to go intothe NHS like everyone else,and had difficulty returningto the UK after being a med­ical tourist overseas, justthink how good the NHSwould be. Gone would bedelays in getting treatment;gone would be badly pre­sented, bland foods; quicklygone would be the risk ofinfections due to badhygiene. Why, because peo­ple with mega bucks andpolitical clout would makesure it was second to none,even though they were pro­viding it for all rather thanjust themselves.

We´ve got a first classhealth system for the richwho can afford to go private,and a second class systemfor everyone else. This classsystem has gone on far toolong and must end. Perhapsthen the vast majority ofpeople in Britain will againhave full confidence in theNHS; it will once again bethe envy of the world, andthe likes of Ashya´s parentswon´t have to think theyhave to drive thousands ofmiles to get the best treat­ment.

qHusbands who con­stantly criticise their

wives over their weight orappearance may be guilty ofdomestic abuse! It´s Labour

at it again ­ this time in theshape of Seema Malhotra,Labour’s new shadow antidomestic violence ministerspouting off. OK, yes, shehas a point, control freakhusbands who manipulatetheir wives and constantlyput them down by bangingon about over­eating andtheir size, drinking, or whatthey wear is, over time, abu­sive and criminal. But why isit always the husbands whoare the guilty ones and thepoor downtrodden wivesalways the victims?

Come off it! Come onmen, let´s redress the bal­ance here. Let´s start com­plaining to the authoritiesabout the constant barrageof complaints we have tocontend with amounting todomestic abuse from wives,girlfriends, partners. Let´sface it, you women have afield day at complaining.About over­hanging waist­lines, about men sittingaround the house doingnothing, not putting clothesin cupboards, not cleaningthe house, about havinghobbies you women are notinterested in, not takingthem shopping, not givingthem enough money to sat­isfy every need (no, notneed, want) concerning our­selves about money (yes,often it´s the men who haveto keep you) rather thanconcentrating on them, notbuying them flowers, choco­lates, expensive jewelleryevery five minutes, not tak­ing them on expensive holi­days... (and I haven´t evenmentioned the agonies overthe bedroom department).Need I go on? Isn´t all that

domestic abuse, soppySeema? Next time you rantoff, put your brain in gear.Fellas, if you want a reasonwhy not to vote Labour nextyear, Seema is it!

qNow let’s turn to anoth­er section of society

which should be driven toextinction ­ travellers.

These apologies forhumanity cause troublewherever they go, trespass­ing onto private land, leavingpiles of litter and other filthbehind and touring nearbyvillages for work, more oftenthan not charging far toomuch for substandard jobs.All the time they are living onthe cheap, avoiding counciltax and all the other taxeseveryone else has to pay.What has particularlyangered my wife and I lastweek, was a set of travellerswho took over a piece ofwaste land beside a countryroad in the UK. They had acaravan, awning, anothercaravan for sale, a two­wheeled trap, a couple ofvans and a horse. And whenthey left, the horse stayedbehind. Since then a smallarmy of animal lovers havebeen regularly feeding thehorse, and animal charitieshave been bombarded withcomplaints and demands onthem to remove the horseand take it to a sanctuary.The horse has been out inall weathers for the past 17days. It´s about time the UKgovernment made trespass­ing on land by travellers ille­gal, punishable by the con­fiscation of all their property.It would only have to happenonce and it would put an endto the problem.

A WAKE UP CALLFOR THE NHS

17Friday, September 5, 2014

18 Friday, September 5, 2014

Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH

SAY IT IN SPANISHSpanish 138

Hi and welcome back to learning Spanish with me,Jeanette, I hope you are all improving and managing to putphrases together with some fluency, whatever your level youwill find lessons to help you if you look back at my columnonline, I have been writing this column every week for nearlythree years now as you can tell by the number of the lessonsso if you can´t find the part you wish to cover then drop me aline and I´ll do it again, it can be difficult finding the exact partyou want in over one hundred lessons, and the part you arefinding hard might be the same part that someone else isstruggling with. I am always available to contact via TheCourier or my school e­mail onevoicespain@gmail.com.

This week we are going to look at a very hard workingverb, one that we know means one thing but that is also usedin a variety of other sayings that we need to learn andbecome familiar with, tenemos que acostumbrarnos conestas frases.

The verb we are looking at today is just three little letters inits infinitive but it is a much bigger verb than it appears. Theverb is dar which you know means – to give. However I amgoing to give you a list of other occasions it is used and so

una vuelta it could mean ´go for a spin´. Dar asco is a strong saying when we think about the trans­

lation in English but it´s a very common one in Spanish, itmeans literally ´to sicken or revolt´ Me da asco means ´itsickens me´ but then in context it doesn´t always seem sobad: Le dan asco las cebollas translates as ´he can´t stand

onions´ One of the sayings that seems a bit

strange is dar clases because it canmeans give classes as a teacher butalso have classes as a student. Forexample if someone says “doy clasesde ingles” it is not clear if they are theteacher or student, therefore when Ispeak to Spanish people I have to say“Soy profesora, doy clases de inglesy español” and those of you who go toSpanish classes can say “doy clasesde español”

Most of you hopefully know the nextone which is dar de comer a whichmeans ´to feed´ había que darle decomer al pajaro con la mano – the birdhad to be fed by hand.

The following are a bit more obviousbecause they use the verb as ´to give´:

Dar un consejo a alguien – to give someone advice, daránimo(s) a alguien ­ to give encouragement to someone, tourge someone on, en un momento dado – at a givenmoment/time, dado que – given that / since.

Another popular saying is Darse cuenta de algo whichmeans ´to realise something´ e.g. no me di cuenta – I didn’trealise.

Dar un examen means ´to take an exam´ That is it for this week, next week we will be learning some

more uses of dar.Como siempre que tengas una buena semana ¡hasta la

próxima!

when you hear the verb you need to know they are not usingit as ´to give´ but rather in a different context.

Let´s remind ourselves of the conjugation of dar in thepresent simple tense, it is an irregular verb in the first personsingular: yo doy, tú das, él/ella/usted da, nosotros damos,vosotros dais, ellos/ellas/ustedes dan. There are of

course other tenses which I hope you will think about as yougo through this list of examples.

Firstly we are going to start with: dar a alguien las graciaspor algo – which means ´give thanks to someone for some­thing´ e.g: ¿Le diste las gracias? – did you thank him?

Dar a alguien la bienvenida – I hope you know bien­venido means welcome, so this translates as ´to welcomesomeone´ No me da la gana is a good one to use when thesituation arises as it means ´I don’t want to´ or ´I don´t feellike it´ Dar un paseo means to go for a walk (¿quieres darun paseo? – do you want to go for a walk) and dar unavuelta en coche means ´go for a drive´, if you just say Dar

Vamos a dar un paseo

19Friday, September 5, 2014

One of the great advance­ments in nutrition in thetwenty­first century is thescientific confirmation of themany benefits of green teaextract. Here are just a few.Green tea:

• Lowers cholesterol • Slows arthritis • Prevents the growth of

cancer cells • Assists weight loss What accounts for the

health benefits of green teaextract? Over 1,800 scientif­ic studies have found thatthe active constituents ingreen tea are powerfulantioxidants. These arecalled polyphenols (cate­chins) and flavonols.Epigallocatechin gallate(you can just call it EGCG) isthe most powerful of theseantioxidants. Milligram formilligram, EGCG has 25 to

100 times the antioxidantpower of vitamins C and E. Acup of green tea has moreantioxidants than a servingof broccoli, spinach, carrotsor strawberries.

These abundant antioxi­dants power the benefits ofgreen tea extract. They keepDNA intact and they sta­bilise the membranes ofcells. These effects of greentea make it a powerful sup­port in many health condi­tions. Let's look at the bene­fits of green tea supple­ments in more detail.

Green tea has beenshown to lower “bad” LDLcholesterol and serumtriglyceride levels.

Who would have imag­ined that simple green teacould be as potent as Lipitoror Zocor or Crestin withnone of their side effects?

Scientific studies show thatmiddle­aged men andwomen in Japan who drink 2or more cups of green tea aday almost always have nor­mal cholesterol. Scientistshave also recently reportedthat if you drink green teaafter you eat a fatty food,less cholesterol will go intoyou bloodstream.

And if you have high cho­lesterol when you begin tak­ing green tea supplements,your body will convert lessof it into a form that clogsyour arteries.

Green tea protects yourjoints against osteoarthritis.

This is one of the leastknown but most beneficialeffects of green tea extract.

Green tea prevents inflam­mation. When there is lessinflammation, there is lesswear and tear on your joints.

Green tea prevents thegrowth of cancer cells.

The EGCG in green teaprevents cancer cells fromgrowing by binding to a spe­cific enzyme. This healthbenefit of green tea is espe­cially important in cancers ofthe prostate, breast, andlung.

Researchers studied twogroups of men with a pre­cancerous condition of theprostate. One consumed theequivalent of 12 to 15 cupsof green tea a day. One didnot. One year later, 30% ofthe men who did not con­sume green tea supple­ments developed prostatecancer. Only 3% of the menwho took green tea supple­ments developed cancer.

Another of the benefits ofgreen tea extract is supportfor women who have breastcancer. Green tea provideschemicals that bind oestro­gen. This hormone is thennot free to stimulate breastcancer cells.

Women who consume thegreatest amount of greentea before menopause havethe least severe forms ofbreast cancer when the dis­ease occurs. Women whodrink green tea are less like­ly to have recurrences ofbreast cancer after treat­ment. And most important of

all, women who consumegreen tea are 50% less like­ly to develop breast cancerat all.

Another of the benefits ofgreen tea extract is protec­tion against lung cancer.The Japanese have both thehighest rate of smoking andthe lowest rate of lung can­cer in the developed world.Japanese smokers whoconsume a lot of green teaseem to be protectedagainst lung cancer.

And green tea can evenhelp you lose weight. In aclinical trial, men eating ahigh­fat diet were givenenough green tea to pro­vide the caffeine in a singlecup of coffee. Although this

amount of caffeine has noeffect on weight loss, whenthe caffeine comes fromgreen tea, it is highly signif­icant.

The green tea supple­ment boosted the numberof calories burned by 4.5%.While this is just 135 calo­ries a day, the studyshowed that taking greensupplements could help theaverage man on a high­fatdiet lose 18 lbs (8 kg) in ayear's time. It could helpthe average woman on ahigh­fat diet lose 11 pounds(5 kg). This is without eat­ing less or exercising more.How Can I Take

Green Tea?Two capsules of green

tea extract a day can pro­vide all the benefits of 20cups of green tea­all youneed to support even diffi­cult health conditions.

Green tea is safe andeffective. Take 1 to 3 cap­sules of green tea extractevery day. It is better totake green tea supple­ments in the morning orafternoon rather than atnight. In the unlikely eventof stomach upset, take withfood.

20 Friday, September 5, 2014

THE MANY BENEFITS OF GREEN TEA EXTRACT

Every summer thousandsof people flock to the coastalregions of Spain in search ofa sunny holiday, more so forpeople living further awayfrom the equator, where it ismuch colder. In recentyears, the recommendeddietary allowance of VitaminD has been increased asnutritional research betterunderstand its full effects onthe body. Over thousands ofyears of human history, theshift from hunter gatherer toindustrialisation has alsomeant less vitamin D fromsun exposure. This is veryimportant because the bestsource of Vitamin D is skinexposure to ultraviolet­ B(UVB) rays of sunlight. Fishoil and fatty fish such assalmon and tuna are alsorich in vitamin D, makingthem an important source in

temperate regions. UVB isthe primary cause of sunburns due to over exposureto sunlight; however it alsoproduces vitamin D in yourskin. The amount produceddepends on several factorssuch as exposure time, timeof day, geographical loca­tion, pollution, age, theamount of skin surfaceexposed, and skin colour.As we age, we become lessable to turn sunlight intoVitamin D, so seniors areparticularly at risk.

For many years it wasbelieved that the only vitalrole Vitamin D played was inpromoting the strength ofbones and teeth, but currentresearch shows that vitaminD does far more. Because ofits role in the immune sys­tem and inflammatory bodilyprocesses, lower levels of

vitamin D has been implicat­ed in arthritis, allergies, asth­ma, psoriasis, crohn´s dis­ease, and congenital heartdisease. Vitamin D has alsobeen shown to improveblood sugar levels in diabet­ics, slow or reverse certaintypes of cancer such asbreast and ovarian cancer,as well as prevent the symp­toms of multiple sclerosis.Even though the recom­mended daily dose ofVitamin D is 4000IU,research has shown that a20­30 minute exposure tothe mid­day sun is compara­ble to 10,000­25,000IU. Thismakes the sun surely thebest source of Vitamin D.

FOR A FULL BODYSCAN CALL DR MACHIMANNU: 965 071 745

21Friday, September 5, 2014

WHY YOU NEEDVITAMIN D

DR MACHI MANNU’S ADVICE CLINICEmail your questions and comments to contact@medb.es

22 Friday, September 5, 2014

PICKING THAT RIGHT SUPPLEMENTQI do not take any supplements, but would like to start

taking something. The problem I find is that there areso many different types available, and they are all sup­posed to be beneficial. In your opinion if I had to take justone, which should it be?

AYou are absolutely right when you say there are so manydifferent kinds of supplement available, all claiming to be

beneficial to health. In a way this is true. Our body needs avariety of nutrients to function optimally, and in days gone by,we would have been able to source most of these nutrientsfrom our diet. Sadly the soils in which crops are grown havebeen depleted of nutrients, making the fruits and vegetablesthat come from such soils also low in nutrients. For this rea­son, supplements have become very essential. I have beenasked this question a number of times, and have had difficul­ties giving an answer in the past, but that was before I cameacross the supplement known as laminine. For a while now, Ihave been using and prescribing laminine for a number ofhealth problems, and I am very impressed with the amazingresults I have noticed in my health, as well as the health of mypatients. What makes Laminine different from other supple­ments? Well Laminine contains proteins that encourage stemcells found in the body to turn into new tissue in order toreplace injured ones. Stem cells are undifferentiated cells thatare yet to transform into tissues such as heart, bones andliver. In other words stem cells have the capacity to becomenew organs. This is why stem cell therapy is seen as thefuture of medical therapies. Laminine is the closest thing tostem cell therapy. What gives Laminine its unique propertiesis an ingredient known as Fibroblast Growth Factor (FGF).Laminine is produced from 9 day old fertilized chicken eggsand then freeze­dried to preserve its delicate contents. Sincethe 1930s, it has been known that chicken egg contains manyvital compounds that promote healing, and that these com­pounds are of the highest concentration on the 9th day in afertilized egg. These healing compounds include essentialamino acids, polypeptides, neuropeptides, vitamins, minerals

and fibroblast Growth Factor (FGF). Fibroblasts are a type ofstem cells found mainly in the bones, joints, nerves, heart andother organs. These fibroblasts are stimulated by Laminine totransform into brand new tissue. Amino acids are regarded asthe building blocks of life, and are required to form DNA, aswell as muscle and nerve tissue. Current Research is nowpointing to neuropeptides as being responsible for the trans­mission of signals from one nerve to another. The benefits ofLaminine are numerous, however what stands out is its abilityto help repair and regenerate damaged tissue. Our bodiesare in a continuous state of breakdown and repair, with morebreakdowns than repairs occurring as we age. Laminine pro­motes repair, and helps the body heal a lot faster. Due to theneuropeptides it contains, laminine also has a positive effecton the nervous system, and speeds up the healing of nerveand brain injuries. Laminine promotes deep and restful sleep.And by promoting healthy sleep, laminine further encouragesthe body to heal because healing takes place during sleep.Laminine also promotes relaxation. This is because lamininecontains all 22 essential amino acids, the building blocks ofthousands of chemicals needed for the body to perform opti­mally. One of such chemicals is serotonin – the feel good hor­mone needed for relaxation. People taking laminine reportthat they feel better in themselves, their mood improves andthey also feel more relaxed. Laminine also helps women suf­fering from hot flushes by supporting the hormonal system.Since it contains all essential amino acids, the body is able toproduce the exact amount of hormones it requires. Anotherimpressive effect of laminine is how it relieves bone and jointdisorders such as osteoarthritis, rheumatoid arthritis, musclepain etc. With such benefits, laminine is certainly the supple­ment you need if you had to take just one kind. Laminine isnot available in the pharmacy, but you can order it from MedBHealth Shop. It is sold for 36 Euros for a container of 30 cap­sules, or 100 Euros for 3 containers. The recommended doseis 3 capsules daily for the first month, and 1 capsule daily sub­sequently. However those with more chronic disorders should

take 3 caps daily for a longer time period – 3 to 4 months. Toorder Call 965071745

QWhat other drugs can I use other than statins tolower my cholesterol levels?

AThere are 4 powerful natural products for lowering cho­lesterol, and either one or a combination of 2 of these will

lower and most importantly regulate cholesterol more than thedangerous statin drugs. These 4 natural products are niacin,policosanol, pantethine and garlic. Niacin is another name forVitamin B3, and is the most powerful natural anti­cholesterolagents known. It increases the levels of HDL (good choles­terol) by up to 32% while lowering triglycerides and bad cho­lesterol by 23 and 26% respectively. The effective therapeuticdose is between 1500 and 3000 mg daily. A side effect ofniacin is that it causes skin flushing, and to avoid this, a mod­ified naturally form known as niacinate is preferable.Policosanol is a waxy substance derived from cane sugar,and it too has been found to be as effective as niacin in regu­lating cholesterol levels. It also has the added advantage ofnormalizing blood sugar levels. Pantethine or Vitamin B5 isanother excellent cholesterol buster especially for diabeticswho should choose it against niacin which may adverselyaffect blood sugar levels. It also normalises blood viscosity,preventing the platelets (blood clotting cells) from clumpingtogether. Last but not least is the humble garlic which is veryeffective for cholesterol control because of its active ingredi­ent alliin. The effective dose is about 4grammes of freshchopped garlic or between 1­4 cloves daily. It must bechopped or crushed to release the active ingredient. At ourclinic MedB, our preferred choice is Policosanol, because wehave documented its beneficial effects on high cholesterol. Itincreases HDL (good cholesterol) and reduces LDL (bad cho­lesterol). Policosanol from Douglas Laboratories is availableat MedB health shop; 60 capsules – 25.22 Euros. Call965071745, delivery is free. EMAIL YOUR QUESTIONS TO : contact@medb.es

Edition 12

Things are on the up for the Spanish property market,with sales figures in tourist spots like the Costa Blancabeing particularly positive.

The latest figures have revealed that the Spanishproperty market is on an upward curve once again,with foreign investors continuing to show an interestand providing a much­needed boost to the sector.Sales figures for resale property in the CostaBlanca came top out of all of the country’s designat­ed tourist resorts. In Alicante Province a total of2,501 sales were made to foreign buyers. This isalmost double the number of sales that were madeby its closest competitor, Málaga, where 1,111properties were sold to foreigners.

During the first nine months of last year, 225,297property transactions were made in Spain, resultingin a drop of 6.8% during the same period the previous year.However, in spite of the global deficit, when broken downinto regions, figures relating to the sale of coastal apart­ments in Valencia actually rose by 8%, with the bulk ofthese being completed in Torrevieja and Orihuela Costa.Statistics released by the Ministry of Development and theAsociación de Promotores y Constructores de Torrevieja y

Comarca (Procosta) at the start of this year, highlight atotal of 2,824 contracts being exchanged for resale proper­

ties, of which 1,705 were in Torrevieja and 1,119 inOrihuela Costa.

Meanwhile, figures relating to the sale of new propertiestell a very different story, with Torrevieja attracting only 58new build buyers in the second quarter of 2012, and anoth­er 118 in the third. This was well behind Orihuela andCostas, where 133 new homes were snapped up in the

second quarter, rising to 299 in the third, but still far shortof the resale market.

This is of course only a fraction of the sales fig­ures recorded prior to the economic crisis, whenliterally thousands of properties were being soldevery month. However, it is certainly a step in theright direction. Procosta suggests that it is thebeautiful beaches and amenable climate whichkeeps attracting buyers to the Costa Blanca,especially those from colder parts of Europe. Thelargest foreign investment markets are currentlyScandinavia and Russia, with as many as 14,300Russian people now registered as living in theProvince. During the first half of 2012, 849 prop­erties had been sold to Russian investors, repre­senting 20% of the total investment by foreigners

for the Valencian Community. They are also the group thatis tending to go for the larger, more expensive properties,with the average spend pegged at around 202,000 euros.This could be partly due to the Spanish Government’spledge to grant temporary residency to Russian investorswho buy Spanish homes with a value in excess of 160,000euros.

POSITIVE SIGNS FORTHE PROPERTY MARKET

2 Friday, September 5, 2014

3Friday, September 5, 2014

Although the Spanish PropertyIndustry has suffered some difficultperiods in recent years, all indicatorsshow that things are now on the up

Whilst the world’s media is still intent onpublishing doom and gloom articles relat­ing to the global economic crisis, officialstatistics have proven that there IS move­ment, particularly in the property market.Slight Improvements were recorded dur­ing 2011, with the upward trend continuingthroughout 2012. According to figurescompiled by the National StatisticsInstitute (INE), the sale of property acrossthe country rose by 0.9% in September2012, compared to the figure for the samemonth of 2011, equating to a total of 25985 transactions. Of these 50.9% wereresale properties and 49.1% new develop­ments. This was regarded as very positivenews by optimists, who considered it aclear indication that the economy wasrecovering; particularly as it showed thesecond consecutive increase, with figuresfor August also registering improvementsof 3% after a stagnant run of 17 months.What is even more reassuring for those ofus living on the Costa Blanca, is that thehighest number of house sales per 100000 population were executed in La Rioja(128) and right here in the ValencianCommunity (103). Valencia continued toattract large numbers of buyers through tothe close of 2012, with 3 912 properties

being sold during the month of November.Costa Blanca Real Estate Agents have

confirmed that this is indeed the case, andare pleased to report an increase in salesat both ends of the property scale, fromsmall apartments to luxurious detachedvillas. And with the increased demand,particularly among the resale’s sector,Agents have even began to advertise fornew property listings to satisfy demand.The major property investment marketsnow mainly lie with the Scandinavians andRussians, although British investors hop­ing to take advantage of the soaring valueof the pound do still favour the CostaBlanca. As a whole, property prices are farlower than they were five years ago,although they have only dropped margin­ally since 2011, suggesting that they arecurrently beginning to stabilize. Thismakes NOW the perfect time to buy, asprices are more attractive than ever, withlocal real­estate agents promoting two­bedroom properties for as little as€40,000. In light of recent trends, it is alsomakes sense that from here prices aremore likely to go up then down.

At Property Plus, we are making it easyfor you to take advantage of these positivemovements, by bringing you all of the bestdeals in one handy supplement. So whynot make 2013 the year to put the ball inmotion and make your Spanish dream areality!

Wise Property InvestorsChoose The Costa Blanca

4 Friday, September 5, 2014

23Friday, September 5, 2014

Three teenagers on holi­day in rural western Spaincaused major damage to ahillside chapel during asatanic ceremony. Graffitidescribed as 'sacrilegious',crosses and Biblicalimagery smashed and van­dalism affecting the villageswimming pool close to thehermitage, and to the ceme­tery where the temple isbased, were discovered.

The mayor of San Martínde Trevejo (Cáceresprovince, in theExtremadura region) con­tacted the Guardia Civil,who took fingerprints,trawled through Facebookand Twitter, and called inhandwriting experts toexamine the graffiti. Ateenage boy living inCáceres whose family has asecond home in the villagewas traced via social net­works and found to be oneof the authors of the dam­age. Through his 'cyber

footprint', police were ableto identify two teenage girlsspending their summer holi­days in San Martín deTrevejo who were alsoinvolved.

They all owned up to

causing wilful and maliciousdamage when questionedby a youth court judge. Theyoungsters revealed theirvandalism crusade hadbeen part of a devil­worshipritual.

SPANISH NEWS

A Spanish musician whodied angry at the govern­ment’s tax policies sent aprotest message from thegrave directed at CristobalMontoro, the country’sfinance minister.

“Montoro, you b­­­­­­d,now come and get yourmoney,” were the wordschosen by Jose MariaBejarano Martin to mark hisgrave in the village of SanPedro de Latarce, in theCastille y Leon region ofnorthern Spain.

Before his death at the age of 66 lastNovember, Mr Bejarano ­ known as “Chema”to his friends ­ gave clear instructions as tothe message he wanted over his final restingplace.

“When I die, I want you to put these wordsover my grave,” he told his wife and six chil­dren.

Mr Bejerano, a musician turned promoter,was spurred to take an “eternal dig” at MrMontoro in protest at the decision by Spain’sconservative Popular Party government toraise IVA on cultural performances to 21 percent. A longtime supporter of the PP, MrBejerano had become disillusioned with theparty over their austerity measures.

“He felt let down when they introducedpublic spending cuts and tax hikes that

directly harmed his business ­ like raisingIVA on cultural events to 21 per cent,” hisson, Eduardo, told El Norte de Castilla news­paper.

With outstanding debts for failing to payhis taxes and social security payments, themusician was declared insolvent. A photo­graph of the epitaph has gone viral onSpanish social networking sites after beingposted on Twitter last week. The local mayorsaid the epitaph had sparked a “mini revolu­tion” in the town of 533 residents.

“Personally, it is not how I would chose tomake a protest, but each person is free toexpress themselves in their own way in ademocracy,” said Mercedes Josefa deCastro, mayor of San Pedro de Latarce. “Itshows that he never lost his sense ofhumour, even in difficult times.”

RAGE FROMTHE GRAVE

CHILDREN OF THE DAMNED

Residents in Toledo are up in arms after their local fire­fighters charged a mother 90 euros for freeing her two­year­old son from some metal bars he had his head stuck in. Theinvoice handed out to the disgruntled parent reads “rescue ofchild at Salto del Caballo football field”.

The bill was posted on a Facebook page called “You’re notfrom Toledo if…” alongside a photo of the trapped youngchild. According to the ABC newspaper, the closed Facebookgroup has been a hotbed of commentary among Toledolocals who deem it just or unfair that firemen could charge forwhat is usually a public service.

“I’m a fireman in Madrid but live in Toledo and I can’tbelieve what I’m reading,” wrote one person.

“It’s our job, we get called up for all kinds of tasks in Madridand we never charge anyone. It’s not the firemen’s faultthough, it’s the Town Hall’s eagerness to fill their coffers.”

Toledo authorities have responded by arguing that a bylawwas passed in 2013 and that neighbourhood associationswere given the chance to greenlight the measures.

“This is so the people of Toledo don’t have to pay for thenegligence, lack of home maintenance, slip­ups and forget­fulness of certain individuals,” government spokespersonRafael Perezagua said at the time.

IT’S A STICK UP TOGET UNSTUCK

A Madrid man stabbed his girl­friend's mother to death and seri­ously injured his partner while on afour­day prison leave period lastSaturday. The 32­year­oldRomanian aggressor, in jail for car­rying out a violent robbery andbelonging to an organized crimegroup, fatally stabbed his 57­year­old victim in the neck with a carvingtool.

The woman was trying to protecther daughter from the aggressor,who survived despite receiving 25 stabs inthe chest and arms herself, after pullingthrough after an operation. When police

arrived at the victims’ address in the Madridmunicipality of Arganda del Rey, the attackerwas still there and he was taken into cus­tody.

WEEKEND MAYHEM

24 Friday, September 5, 2014

FRESH BAKED BREADOLIVE OIL BREAD

Ingredients7g sachet easy­blend yeast or 15g fresh yeast500g strong white bread flour, plus extra for dusting2 tsp salt1 tsp sugar2 tbsp olive oil

Method1. Tip the flour into a mixing bowl. For easy­blend driedyeast, stir this into the flour. For fresh yeast, crumble it andrub into the flour as you would with butter when making pas­try. Add the salt and sugar.2. Boil the kettle and measure 100ml into a jug. Top up withcold water to the 300ml mark. Test the temperature with yourfinger – it should feel perfectly hand­hot. Add the oil.3. Make a well in the centre of the dry ingredients and pourin the liquid all at once. Mix quickly using your hands or awooden fork to make a soft and slightly sticky dough. Wipethe dough around the bowl to pick up any loose flour.4. Sprinkle the work surface with flour and tip out the dough.Knead by stretching it away from you, then folding it in halftowards you and pushing it away with the heel of your hand.Give it a quarter turn and repeat, developing a rhythm.5. When the dough is smooth, put it back into the mixingbowl, cover with a tea towel and leave to rest for 1 hr (noneed to find a warm place). The dough is ready when itsprings back when you press it with your finger. (At thisstage, you can add other flavourings ­ see 'Goes well with',right).6. Tip dough onto a floured surface, knead to remove airbubbles. Shape into a round, place on an oiled baking sheetand slash top with sharp knife. Cover and rise for 30 mins.Heat oven to 240C/220C fan/gas 8. Bake for 30­35 minsuntil browned and crisp.

FRUIT & SPICE SODA BREADIngredients

100g rolled porridge oats25g butter, diced200g plain flour200g plain wholemeal flour,plus extra for dusting100g caster sugar1 tsp bicarbonate of soda1½ tsp mixed spice50g raisins50g sultanas50g stoned dates, finely chopped3 tbsp mixed peel450ml buttermilk3­4 tbsp demerara sugar

Method1. Heat oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6. Whizz the porridgeoats and butter together in a food processor, or rub the but­ter into the oats with your fingertips in a big bowl. Stir in theflours, caster sugar, bicarb, mixed spice, 1 tsp salt, the

raisins, sultanas, dates and mixed peel.2. Pour over the buttermilk and quickly stir in with a round­bladed knife. Tip out onto a flour­dusted surface and gentlybring together into a ball with your hands. Transfer to a flour­dusted baking sheet and scatter over the demerara sugar,pressing it into the top. Use a sharp, flour­dusted knife to cuta big cross in the top and bake for 30­35 mins until crusty onthe outside. Eat warm or cold, thickly sliced, with butter.

SUNDRIED TOMATO SODA BREADBAPS

Ingredients250g plain white flour,plus extra for dusting250g seed & grainbread flour100g porridge oats1 tsp bicarbonate ofsoda1 tsp dried thyme25g butter85g sundried tomatoes(from a jar), roughlychopped475ml buttermilk

Method1. Heat oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6 and dust a baking traywith flour. Mix the flours, oats, bicarbonate of soda, 1 tsp saltand thyme in a bowl, then rub in the butter.2. Add the tomatoes, pour in the buttermilk and mix quicklywith the blade of a knife to make a wet dough. Tip onto afloured work surface, then cut evenly into 6 and, with flouredhands, shape to make rounds. Handle the dough as little aspossible – not just because it is sticky, but to make sure thetexture stays light. Arrange, spaced apart, on the baking trayand mark a cross in the tops with a floured knife.3. Bake for 20­25 mins until the bases of the baps are palegolden and sound hollow when tapped. Cover with a teatowel and leave to cool. To freeze, pack the cooled baps intoa rigid container. Thaw at room temperature for 3 hrs.

MELTING CHEESE WITH POPPY &APRICOT BREAD WREATH

Ingredients500g pack white bread mix100g walnut pieces140g dried apricots, sliced25g poppy seeds, toasted400ml milka little oil, for greasing1 egg, beaten1­2 soft cheeses in boxes, like brie or Camembertsplash white wine

Method1. Tip the bread mix into a food processor, add the walnuts

and whizz until fully incor­porated. Transfer to abowl and stir in the apri­cots and most of thepoppy seeds. Warm themilk to hand temperature,then stir into the flour mixwith a wooden spoon.Knead in the bowl untilsmooth. Cover with oiledcling film and leave some­where warm­ish to rise for1 hr.2. Find a heatproof dish the same size or a bit bigger thanyour cheese box. Sit it in the middle of a big baking tray.Shape the risen dough into a long, thin log that will wraparound the dish on the sheet, like a wreath. Press the endstogether, loosely cover with oiled cling film and leave to risefor 20­30 mins.3. Heat oven to 180C/160C fan/gas 4. Brush the egg all overthe loaf, then sprinkle with the remaining poppy seeds.Using kitchen scissors, randomly snip into the dough, to givea spiky finish. Bake for 35­40 mins until golden and crusty,and the bottom sounds hollow when you tap it. Remove thedish from the middle.4. To serve, unwrap the cheese and put it back into the box.Stab a few times, add the wine and tie kitchen string aroundthe box to secure it in case the glue comes undone. Sit thecheese in the middle of the bread, without its lid, and bakefor 10­15 mins until molten. Serve straight away and, if youlike, pop another cheese in the oven so you can finish off thebread when the first cheese box is wiped clean.

GARLIC BREAD PIZZASIngredients

For the base500g strong white flour, plus extra for rolling7g sachet fast­action yeast1 tsp salt2 tbsp olive oilFor the topping50g butter, softened2 garlic cloves, crushed300g pack mozzarella, drained4 tomatoes, roughly choppedhandful basilleaves, roughlychopped1 tbsp extra­virgin olive oil1 tsp balsamicvinegarMethod

1. Tip all of thebase ingredi­ents into a mix­ing bowl. Pour

25Friday, September 5, 2014

over 300ml warm water – not too hot. Stirquite hard with a spoon until the mixturecomes together.2. Turn out onto a lightly floured surface andknead 2­3 times until the mixture forms aball. Divide dough into 8 equalsize pieces.Take 1 piece, leaving the remainder looselycovered with oiled cling film. Lightly flour thesurface again and use a rolling pin to roll outdough into a round about 15cm diameter oras thin as you can. 3. Put pizza on a bakingsheet.Mix together the butter and crushed garlic,then spread a little over the pizza. Tear themozzarella into thin strips and scatter over.Repeat for the remaining pieces of dough.You should be able to fit 2 pizzas per bakingsheet; depending on how many bakingsheets you have, you may have to cook inbatches.4. Heat oven to 240C/fan 220C/gas 9. Bakepizzas for 12­15 mins until crisp and cookedthrough. Meanwhile, mix together theremaining ingredients, then season well.When the pizza comes out of the oven, topwith the tomato mixture and serve straightaway.

ARTICHOKE FOCACCIAIngredients

For the dough500g strong flour7g sachet fast­action yeast1 heaped tsp saltFor the fillinglarge bunch rosemary285g jar artichokes antipasti in oil (we usedSacla)50g freshly grated parmesan (or vegetarianalternative), plus extra for grating

Method1. Tip the flour into a large bowl and make awell in the centre. Add the yeast and salt,then gradually pour in 350ml tepid water,stirring as you go. Bring the dough togetherwith a spoon, then with your hands. It shouldbe soft, but not too sticky or wet. If it won’tcome together, pour in a little extra water; ifthe dough is too wet, add extra flour. Tip ontoa floured work surface and knead for about10 mins, or until it’s smooth, soft and springsback when pushed with a finger. Leave torise in an oiled bowl covered with cling film ina warm place for 1 hr or Packed with sum­mer flavours until the dough has doubled insize.2. Strip leaves from half the rosemary andfinely chop. Break the rest into smallerpieces. Drain the artichokes, reserving theoil, and chop into chunks.

3. When risen, tip the dough onto an oiledwork surface and roll out into a 35 x 45cmrectangle. Slip an oiled baking sheet underhalf of the dough. Top the half with arti­chokes, all the Parmesan and rosemary.4. Grind over black pepper and drizzle with alittle of the reserved oil. Fold over the otherdough half, pressing the edges together andunder to seal. Leave to rise in a warm place,covered with the oiled cling film, for 30 mins.Heat oven to 240C/fan 220C/gas 9.

CLASSIC WHITE LOAFIngredients

500g strong white flour, plus extra for dust­ing7g sachet fast­action dried yeast1 tsp saltup to 350ml lukewarm watera little sunflower oil, for greasing

Method1. Make the dough by tipping the flour, yeastand salt into a large bowl and making a wellin the middle. Pour in most of the water anduse your fingers or a wooden spoon to mixthe flour and water together until combinedto a slightly wet, pillowy, workable dough ­add a splash more water if necessary. Tipthe dough onto a lightly floured surface andknead for at least 10 mins until smooth andelastic. This can also be done in a tabletopmixer with a dough hook. Place the dough ina clean oiled bowl, cover with cling film andleave to rise until doubled in size.2. Heat oven to 220C/fan 200C/gas 7. Knockback the dough by tipping it back onto afloured surface and pushing the air out.Mould the dough into a rugby ball shape thatwill fit a 900g loaf tin and place in the tin. 3. Cover with a clean tea towel and leave toprove for 30 mins. Dust the top of the loafwith a little more flour and slash the top witha sharp knife if you want. Bake the bread for15 mins, then reduce the heat to 190C/fan170C/gas 5 and continue to bake for 30 minsuntil the loaf sounds hollow when removedfrom the tin and tapped on the base. Leavethe bread ona wire rackto cool com­pletely. 4.The loaf willstay fresh inan airtightcontainer for3 days orcan befrozen for 1month.

Friday, September 5, 201426

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27Friday, September 5, 2014

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28 Friday, September 5, 2014

Horoscopes By Pandora

Aries March 21 ­ April 19 It isn't exactly all lightness and harmony athome today, Aries. There's tension in theair and it manifests in silly family argu­ments. Try to arrange separate activitiesfor siblings, and encourage your partner toeat out with friends. This is a day to giveeveryone his or her space. Tomorroweveryone will be happy to eat togetheragain.

Taurus April 20 ­ May 20 This could be a particularly stressful day,Taurus. Your workload is heavier thanever, thanks to the increased responsibil­ity you've taken on. The day seems end­less, yet there aren't enough hours to getdone all that needs doing. Take care notto take your anxiety out on others. Ifyou're nice to them, they may even helpyou finish your project!

Gemini May 21 ­ June 20Your self­confidence may be a bit low andyou could doubt your abilities right now,Gemini. Don't get depressed or disheart­ened. Your skills are excellent. Try to lookat your situation objectively and pinpointwhy you aren't progressing in your careeras rapidly as you'd hoped. You may beworried about money, but know that every­thing will work out in the end.

Cancer June 21 ­ July 22Today you may feel bored and frustratedwith your life's direction, Cancer. You feelburied under responsibilities, with no timeleft to do what you really want to do. Youhave other interests to pursue but no timeto pursue them. It's frustrating. You mightwant to rethink your priorities. If you'recreative about time management, you'llbe able to find some time.

Leo July 23 ­ August 22You're less optimistic and energetic thanusual, Leo. Your mind feels sluggish ­your whole body does, in fact. You'reeither coming down with the flu or com­pletely and thoroughly disheartened. Thiswould be a good day to take some timeoff. Issues from the past may come backto haunt you. Perhaps you shouldaddress them once and for all.

You may be discouraged about moneymatters today, Virgo. Perhaps a raiseyou'd been hoping for didn't comethrough. Perhaps a professional projectdidn't work out as you expected. Now isthe time to put your ingenuity to work andfigure out a way to earn the money youneed. Trust that you have the necessaryknow­how. A good opportunity awaits you.

Libra September 23 ­ October 22If work is beginning to feel more like aburden than a joy, it may be time torethink your job, Libra. Your personality issuch that you need lots of room to stretchand grow. If you feel stifled, you know it'stime to find a new professional challenge.You're fortunate that your skill set affordsyou many opportunities. Choose careful­ly!

Scorpio October 23 ­ November 21You're especially in tune with the environ­ment and the people around you today,Scorpio. Such sensitivity is new to you,and you aren't exactly sure what to do withthe myriad messages that come into yourhead, seemingly out of nowhere. Eventhough this is outside your usual experi­ence, try to accept rather than analyze.

Sagittarius November 22 ­ December 21You're drawn to public service, Sagittarius.This desire propels you to volunteer yourservices with a group of some kind. Youmay feel a bit awkward at first, but yournatural leadership abilities will soon kickin. The group will be left wondering howthey ever managed without you. Your tal­ent shines through once again. Well done!

Capricorn December 22 ­ January 19Don't take everything at face value today,Capricorn. Information you receive mightnot be accurate. Someone could berepeating gossip or even creating it justto have something to talk about. Don'ttake part in the discussion. Since yourworkload is likely heavy, forego thesocializing in favor of finishing the tasksin front of you.

Aquarius January 20 ­ February 18You may be feeling a bit on edge today,Aquarius. Your self­confidence is shakyand you may feel in need of new chal­lenges. The tedious tasks you have infront of you don't inspire your imaginationor creativity. Do what you can to getthrough this difficult day. Be extra kind toyourself by indulging in a good lunch orlistening to classical music.

Pisces February 19 ­ March 20

Virgo August 23 ­ September 22

You and your mate may be experiencingsome differences of opinion. It seems youeach have definite ideas about some oflife's fundamental values and they aren'tcompletely in sync. Make an extra effort tocommunicate, Pisces. You may find thatyour values aren't as far apart as they firstseemed. This rift between you will soonclose. Hang in there.

29Friday, September 5, 2014

Richard moved to Spain eight years ago havingleft his management background behind in theUK and decided to use his IT skills to help homeusers and small businesses with their PC prob­lems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is outand about in the Spanish sun every day, makinghouse and shop calls and using his vast expe­rience and qualifications to (usually) sort outthe problem there and then. Computers are hishobby as well as his work so don’t be surprisedto get an answer to your email in the earlyhours!

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services com­pany on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computerservices at realistic prices and specialise in working with

home users and small businesses.

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es

Mobile: 655 044 970 Office: 902 906 200

Don’t forget you can follow me on twit­ter @bluemoonspainAlternately why don’t you sign up for mynewsletter. You can do this by going to:­www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill inthe form that is on any page except thefront page.

RICHARD CAVENDERBluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

Mark wanted to know what to do when downloading filesfrom the Internet

Hi Richard, What should I do: run or saveor open when I’m downloading?

Hi Mark, it very much depends on what youare downloading. If for example you aredownloading a picture sent to you by a fam­ily member then you might well want to

“save” the download so that you can look at it againon your computer without downloading it again.However if you are downloading a program that youintend to install, like AVG antivirus, then you mightchoose to “run” as you will probably not need todownload the same file again.

QA

ADVICE: Tony wanted to stop OpenOffice from startingautomatically

Hi Richard, we are get­ting a niggly problem inthat the OpenOffice win­dow opens when the

computer is switched on, is thereany way to stop this from happen­ing?

Hi Tony, OpenOffice isset to automaticallylaunch on start­up, how­ever if you want to dis­

able this functionality just do thefollowing…

1. Open any of the Open Office applications, such as Writer.2. Click the "Tools", then "Options"3. Expand the "OpenOffice.org" drop­down section, then click “Memory"4. Untick "Load OpenOffice.org During System Start­up" from the "OpenOffice.orgQuickstarter" field.5. Click "OK" to save the new Open Office start­up settings.

Q

A

ADVICE: John wanted help in figuring out what his com-puter was doing behind his back.

Hi Richard. I have Windows 8 onmy laptop with the latest updates. Ihave my laptop on everyday all daybut I'm not using it all the time.

Recently I've been noticing that the harddrive is being accessed every couple min­utes or so and I have no idea what could berunning in the background to cause this but Irealise this probably isn't good. What can I doto stop this so that my hard drive isn't gettingworn out un­necessarily so, should I hiber­nate it? For some reason I never liked doingthis as I thought it caused issues. Perhapsyou can give me some ideas and explana­tions as to what to do, thanks.

Hi John, your computer is always doing a number of things even when you have itturned on and are not using it, depending on what you have installed it may bechecking for antivirus updates, checking that its hard drive is in order, downloadinginformation used by the gadgets on the desktop, updating its error log and possibly

a whole host of other things. The one thing you can be sure of is that it is not going to wearout your hard drive. As long as the performance of your computer hasn’t changed then youshouldn’t worry about it, if however, you find that your computer is slowing down (particularlywhen you are using it) then the reason for the hard drive access could be that it is using thehard drive as virtual memory and we should investigate adding some additional RAM to stopthat from happening.

Q

AREADERS TIP: Adrian had a tip for new laptop ownerswith built in webcamsTIP: Richard, You mayfind this an interestingcomment to pass on. Iuse Skype Video to com­municate with my sister.Last week she pur­chased a new laptop. Onmaking contact I foundthat her picture was verypoor and out of focus. Iasked her to check thatall the tape had beenremoved from over themicrophone and camera.The tape was still cover­ing the camera lens. Onremoving the tape the picture became 100% perfect.It wouldn't be difficult to miss something like this as there is so much protectivecovering on new equipment.Best wishes,Adrian

Sports cars may not havethe best reputation for beingenvironmentally­friendly, butthis sleek machine has beendesigned to reach 217.5mph (350 km/h) – usingnothing but saltwater.

Its radical drive systemallows the 5,070lbs(2,300kg) Quant e­Sportlimousine to reach 0­60 mph (100 km/h) in 2.8seconds, making it as fastas the McLaren P1.

After making its debut atthe 2014 Geneva MotorShow in March, the saltwa­ter technology has nowbeen certified for use onEuropean roads.

The 920 horsepower (680kW) Quant e­Sportlimousineuses something known asan electrolyte flow cellpower system to power fourelectric motors within thecar.

It works in a similar way toa hydrogen fuel cell, howev­er, the liquid used for storingenergy is saltwater.

The liquid passes througha membrane in between thetwo tanks, creating an elec­tric charge. This electricity isthen stored and distributedby super capacitors.

The car carries the waterin two 200­litre tanks, whichin one sitting will allow driv­

ers to travel up to 373 miles(600km).

Overall, the four­seater is5.25 metres (0.4ft) long, 2.2metres wide (7.2ft), the 1.35metre (4.4ft).

Its 22­inch wheels sit justbeneath double gull­wingdoors which feature'Chrystal Lake Blue' paint.

Inside is a full­length inter­active dash, with wood­theme features and anAndroid­based entertain­ment system.

No price or sale date hasyet been revealed, but someexperts suggest it could costmore than £1 million ($1.7million)

NanoFlowcell AG, aLichtenstein­based compa­ny behind the drive, is nowplanning to test the car onpublic roads in Germanyand elsewhere in Europe asthe company prepares forseries production.

It claims the technology

offers five times the energycapacity of lithium­ion bat­teries of the same weight.

'We've got major plans,and not just within the auto­

mobile industry,' saysNanoFlowcell AG Chairmanof the Board ProfessorJens­Peter Ellermann.

'The potential of the

NanoFlowcell is muchgreater, especially in termsof domestic energy suppliesas well as in maritime, railand aviation technology.'

30 Friday, September 5, 2014

The sports car that runs on SALTWATER

31Friday, September 5, 2014

32 Friday, September 5, 2014

Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues;instead, every letter of the alphabet has beenreplaced by a number, the same number representingthe same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have todo is decide which letter is represented by whichnumber. In this week’s puzzle, 7 represents B and 3represents C, when these letters have been enteredthroughout the puzzle, you should have enoughinformation to start guessing words and discoveringother letters.

CODE CRACKER

CRYTPIC CLUESAcross1 Like a bird slightly injured(6)5 Dairy food for a dirtyfighter (6)8 Spanish painter involvedin yoga (4)9 Ignominious hoax leadsto fuel spill (8)10 War paint in defeatacross one quiet street (8)11 Streak without SouthAfrican tramp (4)12 The beloved compiler’sexpression of dismay (4,2)14 Portray part of old epictale (6)16 Cold weather from thefirst of September, instant­ly (4)18 False encouragementbefore debts (8)20 Fashionable policeforce at hospital depart­ment event (8)21 Female with hole in herfootwear (4)22 Weigh a female donkey

(6)23 Sy’s red, can look styl­ish (6)Down2 Adore lookers (but notdoers), we hear (7)3 Flies the deer back northin (5)4 Detest scruffy kid’s lie (7)5 Capital of Belgium has adearth of ebony (5)6 Move otter record tocanopy (7)7 Draw out end, but crewregularly missing (5)13 War returning? Concealtelevision series (7)14 Wasn’t sure aboutparty, but confused jour­nalist (7)15 Slips company up onSaturday (7)17 No points on afternoonprayers (5)18 A dialectic name for var­ious ducks seems back­ward (5)19 An edition for the chil­dren (5)

Last weeks SolutionAcross:1 Opiate, 5 Grouse, 8 Bond, 9 Bracelet, 10Relegate, 11 Awed, 12 Berate, 14 Herbal, 16 Item, 18Marginal, 20 Magnesia, 21 Chin, 22 Falcon, 23 Dorset.Down: 2 Protege, 3 Addle, 4 Embrace, 5 Grape, 6 Open­air,7 Suede, 13 Almanac, 14 Harvard, 15 Avarice, 17 Tiara, 18Mason, 19 Incur.

DOUBLE CROSS-WORDSolve the Double Cross­Word puzzle using either the

standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

WordsearchThe aim of our Word Search puzzle is to find all the 33

words listed below hidden within the puzzle.

Across1/6 Postpone (3,3)3 Fundamental (5)6 See 18 Capital of Georgia (7)9 Free from dirt (5)10 Loans (5)11 Make clear (7)12 Forgive (6)14 Balanced (6)17 Duplicate (7)19 Slightly burn (5)21 Greeting (5)22 Put to use (7)23/25 Neptune, for exam­ple (3,3)24 Frightening (5)25 See 23

Down1 Flower part (5)2 Diluting agent (7)3 Dreamy happiness (5)4 Tremble (6)5 Pilot's compartment (7)6 Last letter of Greekalphabet (5)7 Money matters (7)

12 Roosts (7)13 Menacing (7)15 Flags (7)16 World's largest desert(6)18 Bohemian dance (5)19 Overly sentimental (5)20 Terminated (5)

QUICKIE

Last weeks SolutionAcross: 1 Pat, 3 Bossa nova, 8 Raids, 9 Leading, 10 Ire, 11Ahead, 12 Collide, 13 Sparse, 15 Ushers, 19 Promise, 21Admit, 23 Mar, 24 Unaware, 25 Traps, 26 Prototype, 27 Sty. Down: 1 Perhaps, 2 Twice, 3 Besides, 4 Select, 5 Avail, 6Orifice, 7 Argue, 14 Avocado, 16 Startle, 17 Satisfy, 18Remedy, 19 Plump, 20 Imago, 22 Moans.

Across1 Sierras (herramientas)(4)4 Cream (for face, shoesetc) (5)9 Bee (5)10 Recipes (7)11 Southeast (7)12 Basket (5)13 Puddle (6)15 Mirror (6)18 Dressing gowns (5)20 Respuestas (a pre­guntas, en examen, test)(7)23 Goddaughter (7)24 Cebolla (5)25 Esclavo (5)26 Zapato (4)

Down2 Happiness (cheerful­ness) (7)3 Costuras (puntadas)(5)4 Jail (6)5 Scottish (person) (7)6 Before (5)7 Country (nation) (4)8 Tin (ore) (6)13 Goats (6)14 Waterfall (7)16 Enemy (7)17 Palacio (6)19 Colas (de animales,aviónes, cometas) (5)21 Tiendas (5)22 Healthy (4)

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORDImprove your Spanish ­ clues in Spanish, answers inEnglish or vice versa.

STANDARD CLUESAcross 1 Wounded superficially (6)5 Dairy product (6)8 Spanish painter (4)9 Disgraceful (8)10 Coloured cosmetic (8)11 Long, arduous journey(4)12 Used to express shock,dismay, disappointment orsympathy (4,2)14 Portray (6)16 Precipitation falling fromclouds in the form of icecrystals (4)18 Plausible but false (8)20 Single distinct event (8)21 Footwear (4)22 Evaluate (6)

23 In fancy clothing (6)Down 2 Hero­worship (7)3 Small flies (5)4 Aversion (7)5 Of the darkest colour (5)6 Upper branches andleaves of large woody plant(7)7 Draw out (5)13 Clint Eastwood TVseries (7)14 Considered question­able (7)15 Vouchers (7)17 Fifth canonical hour (5)18 Pintail ducks (5)19 Edition (5)

Scribble Pad

AukAvocetBuntingCraneCrowCurlewDoveDuckEagleEmuFinch

FlamingoGooseGrebeHeronHummingbirdIbisJayKestrelKiteMacaw

MagpieOstrichOwlPelicanPigeonPloverQuailRavenRheaRobinRook

ShrikeSkylarkSnipeSparrowStorkSwanSwiftTernToucanWoodpeckerWren

33Friday, September 5, 2014

el año

el año luz

el día

el grado

el metro

el minuto

el nudo

el pie

el segundo

el vatio

el voltio

la hora

la libra

la milla

la piedra

la pulgada

la semana

la tonelada

Empareja estas palabras ­ Match the Spanish and English wordsYou will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

1.el año, 2.el año luz, 3.el día,

4.el grado, 5.el metro,

6.el minuto, 7.el nudo, 8.el pie,

9.el segundo, 10.el vatio, 1

1.el voltio, 12.la hora, 13.la libra,

14.la milla, 15.la piedra,

16.la pulgada, 17.la semana,

18.la tonelada.

a.the mile, b.the metre,

c.the day, d.the volt, e.the inch,

f.the hour, g.the year,

h.the degree(s), i.the watt,

j.the second, k.the stone,

l.the week, m.the light year,

n.the minute, o.the tonne,

p.the knot, q.the pound,

r.the foot.

Answers: 1g, 2m, 3c, 4h, 5b, 6n, 7p, 8r, 9j,10i, 11d, 12f, 13q, 14a, 15k, 16e,17l, 18o.

Across7 British passenger liner,the largest ship in the worldwhen she was built andsupposedly unsinkable, thatstruck an iceberg in theNorth Atlantic on her maid­en voyage in April 1912 andsank with the loss of 1,490lives (7)8 Government building inWashington where the USSenate and the House ofRepresentatives meet (7)10 Stew of meat and veg­etables and hardtack that iseaten by sailors (6)11 American political move­ment known for advocatinga reduction in the USnational debt and federalbudget deficit by reducingUS government spendingand taxes (3,5)12 Small slender­bodiedamphibian with lungs and awell­developed tail, typicallyspending its adult life on

land and returning to waterto breed (4)13 Communist country inEast Asia, established in1948, whose capital isPyongyang (5,5)14 Woman who performsundulating movements ofthe stomach and rapid gyra­tion of the hips (5,6)19 Rastafarian hairstyle inwhich the hair is washedbut not combed and twistedwhile wet into tight braids orringlets hanging down on allsides (10)22 Animal, especially ahorse or cow, having abrownish coat thickly sprin­kled with white or grey (4)23 Number by which thevotes cast for one party orcandidate exceed those forthe next (8)24 Thin slice of bacon orham (6)25 Fall from a surfboard,especially one that looks

painful. (7)26 One of two metal bandsjoined by a chain, for fas­tening a person's hands or

ankles (7)Down1 In baseball, the playerwho delivers the ball to the

batter (7)2 Long, narrow French stickloaf (8)3 Wild and domesticatedbird having a heavy bodyand short legs; now com­mon in many cities (6)4 Long­distance runningrace, strictly one of 26 miles385 yards (42.195 km) (8)5 Ceremonial monarch inJapan's system of constitu­tional monarchy (6)6 American actor and filmdirector, the first blackAmerican actor to achievesuperstar status, whosenotable films include Liliesof the Field (1963, for whichhe won an Oscar) and Inthe Heat of the Night(1967): Sidney ­­­­­­­ (7)9 Extinct flying reptile of thelate Jurassic period, with along slender head and neckand a very short tail (11)15 Land imagined byJonathan Swift that was

inhabited by tiny people (8)16 High­speed passengerrail service that linksLondon with variousEuropean cities via theChannel Tunnel (8)17 Country in SE Europe,formerly a constituentrepublic of Yugoslavia,whose capital is Zagreb (7)18 Small, slender antelopethat typically has curvedhorns and a fawn­colouredcoat with white underparts,found in open country inAfrica and Asia (7)20 Group of volcanicislands in the AtlanticOcean, west of Portugal (6)21 Popular name given toeach of four versions of acomposition, created asboth paintings and pastels,by the Expressionist artistEdvard Munch between1893 and 1910: The ­­­­­­(6)

Quiz Word

Last weeks Quiz Word SolutionAcross: 5 Ottawa, 7 Amethyst, 9 Mantilla, 10 Aviary, 11Palette knife, 13 Kiosks, 15 Muscle, 18 Harley Street, 21Lariat, 22 Squeegee, 23 Tenement, 24 Sundae. Down: 1 Matthews, 2 Hamlet, 3 Geranium, 4 Shrike, 6 TiaMaria, 7 Alaska, 8 Surf, 12 Aloe vera, 14 Spritzer, 16Sergeant, 17 Jet set, 18 Heifer, 19 Squash, 20 Dace.

SUDOKU (Easy) SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

Last Week’s Solutions

Code Cracker

Suduko Span ­ Eng Quizword Word Search

1. Which American Vocal Group Scored Their First UKTop Ten Hit In 1996 With 'We Got It Going On'?2. Which Is Older The New York Marathon Or TheLondon Marathon?3. what is the common name for cercis canadensis, thestate tree of Oklahoma?4. Which Labour Politician Was Elected MP ForBlackburn In 1979?5. What Type Of Insects Are Hawkers, Clubtails,Biddies, Emeralds, Darts & Skimmers?6. By what name is Portuguese West Africa nowknown?7. Where In The Human Body Is The Pineal Gland?8. Who Said & I Quote 'There Will Never Be A WomanPrime Minister In My LifeTime'?9. What Were The Shape Of The 3 Windows In PlaySchool (PFE) (There Were NOT 4 Windows)?10. In Africa the Namibia Desert merges with whichother Desert?11. Who Had A Hit In 1985 With the Gambler?12. What Is Measured In Farads?

ANSEWRS1. Backstreet Boys 2. New York Marathon 3. Redbud 4. JackStraw 5. Dragon Flies 6. Angola 7. In The forehead 8.Margaret Thatcher 9. Round, Square, Arch 10. Kalahari 11.Madonna 12. Cpacitance

general QUIZ

Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch. (Answers below)

MEDIDAS ­ MEASUREMENTS

34 Friday, September 5, 2014

FridaySeptember 5

00:35 Texas Rangers01:55 Holiday Weatherview02:00 BBC News07:00 Breakfast10:15 The Housing Enforcers11:00 Homes Under the Hammer12:00 Street Patrol UK12:45 Caught Red Handed13:15 Bargain Hunt14:00 BBC News; Weather14:30 BBC Regional News andWeather14:45 Doctors15:15 Celebrity Pressure Pad16:00 Escape to the Country16:45 A Taste of Britain17:30 Flog It!18:15 Pointless19:00 BBC News19:30 Weather20:00 The One Show20:30 A Question of Sport21:00 EastEnders21:30 Scrappers22:00 Boomers22:30 Big School23:00 BBC News23:25 BBC Regional News andWeather23:35 Outnumbered

00:20 Horizon01:20 Panorama01:50 Melvyn Bragg's RadicalLives

02:50 This Is BBC Two06:55 Homes Under the Hammer07:55 Street Patrol UK08:40 Caught Red Handed09:10 Fake Britain09:55 Formula 111:35 The Travel Show12:00 BBC News12:30 BBC World News13:00 Daily Politics14:00 Formula 115:35 Equestrian17:45 Great British RailwayJourneys18:15 Put Your Money Where YourMouth Is19:00 Two Tribes19:30 Eggheads20:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip21:00 Mastermind21:30 The Hairy Bakers22:00 The Great British Bake Off:An Extra Slice22:30 Gardeners' World23:00 The Perfect Morecambe &Wise23:30 Newsnight

00:40 The Last Word01:05 Jackpot24704:00 Tonight04:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA05:10 ITV Nightscreen06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show07:00 Good Morning Britain09:30 Lorraine10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show11:30 This Morning13:30 Jo Frost Family Matters14:30 ITV News and Weather14:54 ITV Meridian Weather14:55 ITV News Meridian15:00 Judge Rinder16:00 Tipping Point16:59 ITV Meridian Weather17:00 Who's Doing the Dishes?18:00 The Chase19:00 ITV News Meridian19:30 ITV News and Weather20:00 Emmerdale20:30 Coronation Street21:00 Gino's Italian Escape21:30 Coronation Street22:00 Piers Morgan's Life Stories23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather23:30 ITV Meridian Weather23:40 The Boat That Rocked

00:05 Stammer School: MusharafFinds His Voice01:05 Worst Place to Be a Pilot02:05 One Born Every Minute USA02:55 The Hoarder Next Door03:50 Time Team Specials04:45 Sarah Beeny's Selling Houses05:45 Deal or No Deal06:40 Kirstie's Vintage Gems07:00 Countdown07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun08:35 The King of Queens09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond10:00 Frasier11:00 Undercover Boss12:00 Location, Location, Location13:00 Channel 4 News Summary13:05 Celebrity Coach Trip13:35 Come Dine with Me14:40 Win It Cook It15:10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent16:10 Countdown17:00 Deal or No Deal18:00 Come Dine with Me19:00 The Simpsons19:30 Hollyoaks20:00 Channel 4 News21:00 The Million Pound Drop22:00 8 Out of 10 Cats DoesCountdown23:00 The Last Leg23:50 Virtually Famous

01:00 SuperCasino04:10 Once Upon a Time04:55 Nick's Quest05:20 Great Artists05:45 House Doctor07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas07:10 Igam Ogam07:20 Fireman Sam07:35 The WotWots07:45 Peppa Pig07:50 Peppa Pig08:00 Pip Ahoy!08:10 Ben and Holly's LittleKingdom08:20 The Mr Men Show08:35 Thomas & Friends08:50 Noddy in Toyland09:00 Little Princess09:10 Peppa Pig09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas10:00 Tickety Toc10:15 The Wright Stuff12:10 The Dog Rescuers13:10 5 News Lunchtime13:15 Celebrity Big Brother14:15 Home and Away14:45 Neighbours15:15 NCIS16:15 Mystery Woman: In theShadows18:00 5 News at 518:30 Neighbours19:00 Home and Away19:30 5 News Tonight20:00 Cricket 201421:00 Marston's Brewery: One Aleof a Job!22:00 Celebrity Big Brother23:35 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit onthe Side

PIERS MORGAN:LIFE STORIES

New series. Alesha Dixon, the singer and Britain'sGot Talent judge chats about her career and per­sonal life, opening up to Piers about how, afterfinding fame with Mis­Teeq and as a solo artist,she lost her record contract and found out herhusband was having an affair, all in the space of afew weeks. She speaks about being on the receiv­ing end of a backlash after replacing ArlenePhillips on Strictly Come Dancing.

TRELI ON THE TELLYthe hype of Cheryl’s return(Nicole S was far more fun),the judge to watch will be ex­Spicegirl, Mel B. She’s verymuch part of the court of KingCowell, having been on theAussie version of The XFactor, and has hit it big forthe last two years onAmerica’s Got Talent.Viewers of that on ITV2 willknow that she doesn’t minceher words and isn’t scared tobe different. You know whatyou get with The X Factorand I love it, and people

ings I wrote about a fewweeks ago, Sky One havepicked up just three pro­grammes (so far), as theyhave a pretty full deck any­way. Crucially for them,they’ve got the rights to theArrow spin­off, The Flash;they’ve bought “a who’sgoing to save the world froma killer virus?” thriller calledThe Last Ship (produced bythe Transformers guyMichael Bay, which startsnext Friday and has alreadybeen booked for a secondseries); and they’ve taken agamble on a supernaturaldrama called Forever star­

ring Welsh actor,Ioan Gruffudd asan immortal doc­tor.

qGood castscannot save

poor scripts andwe now have twoperfect examplesback to back on aFriday night onBBC1 in twocomedies that arejust not funny.Boomers and BigSchool are clearly

being “played out” before theUK autumn kicks in, but it issad to see so many top per­formers given lines that arenot worthy of their status.Thank heavens then that SkyOne at the same time hasbrought back the now­BAFTAaward­winning, A League OfTheir Own. There are loadsof great laughs as JamesCorden skillfully hosts thehour, and yes, many of thelines are scripted, but therewas no way that JamieRedknapp’s tirade over JohnMcEnroe ranking of his ten­nis prowess was. It wasnaughty yet wonderful fun.

How good was it to seeSimon Cowell back on TheX Factor last weekend,along with the return ofCheryl Fernandez­Versini(Cole to you and I!)?

The biting Cowell com­ments were back and moreof the silly acts, but despite

should get a chill pill and nottreat it so seriously. But, I’mhoping for a bit more dramafrom the live shows, as it wastotally obvious from the firstaudition that Sam Bailey wasgoing to win the last series.

qA quick mention of OurZoom which started last

Wednesday night on BBC 1.It’s a top draw heart­warmerabout the setting up ofChester Zoo, with stacks offamiliar faces in the cast.One question though: ­ sure­

ly this would have playednicely on a Sunday mid­evening (Think of the CallThe Midwife slot) or are theBeeb running scared of TheX Factor? By the way, I can’twait to find out what sacrifi­cial lamb they are offering upagainst Downton Abbeywhich returns on September21st.

qIt’s the last ever episodeof True Blood on FOX

UK this Monday night, andwith the transmission being afew weeks after the USscreenings, I’ve tried to avoidthe spoilers on the internet(successfully!). It’s played torecord Stateside audiences

and I think six series havebeen enough, especially asin mid­stream it got a bit tooserious. The main strength ofthis vampire­set show hasbeen the humour, and thathas strongly returned for thelast run, which leaves somegreat memories of a dramathat has dared to be different,and has largely succeeded inthat aim.

qTalking of US showsand those LA screen­

with ALEX TRELINSKI

MEL MAY B THE STAR

35

SaturdaySeptember 6

SundaySeptember 7

02:05 Jackpot24704:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA04:40 ITV Nightscreen07:00 Pat & Stan07:25 Dino Dan07:50 Canimals08:00 Sooty08:10 Nerds & Monsters08:40 Mr Bean: The AnimatedSeries08:55 Chowder09:25 ITV News09:30 Weekend10:25 The Hungry Sailors11:25 Murder, She Wrote12:20 ITV News and Weather12:29 ITV Meridian Weather12:30 Columbo: Last Salute to theCommodore14:25 Catchphrase15:10 All Star Family Fortunes15:55 The X Factor16:55 The Secret of My Success19:00 ITV News Meridian19:10 ITV News and Weather19:30 You've Been Framed!20:00 The Chase21:00 The X Factor22:20 Through the Keyhole23:20 ITV News and Weather23:34 ITV Meridian Weather23:35 Knocked Up

00:40 Jimmy Carr: Telling Jokes01:40 Choke03:20 Anna & Katy03:45 The Inbetweeners USA04:10 Desperate Housewives04:55 Revenge05:35 Kirstie's Vintage Gems05:45 Deal or No Deal06:40 Rush Zone07:05 Trans World Sport08:00 Great North Swim08:55 The Morning Line09:55 Everybody Loves Raymond10:55 Frasier11:50 The Big Bang Theory13:10 The Simpsons14:10 Gadget Man14:40 Channel 4 Racing17:10 Come Dine with Me19:45 Channel 4 News20:05 Sarah Beeny's Double YourHouse for Half the Money21:00 Grand Designs22:00 Peter Kay: Live & Back onNights!23:05 Solomon Kane

00:35 Big Brother: Live from theHouse01:15 SuperCasino04:10 Celebrity Big Brother05:20 Great Artists05:45 House Doctor07:00 Peppa Pig07:05 Roary the Racing Car07:15 Angelina Ballerina07:30 Bubble Guppies07:40 The Mr Men Show07:55 Chloe's Closet08:10 Olly the Little White Van08:15 Bananas in Pyjamas08:30 Make Way for Noddy08:40 City of Friends08:50 Milkshake! Monkey09:00 Little Princess09:10 The Adventures of BottleTop Bill and His Best Friend Corky09:25 Wanda and the Alien09:40 Milkshake! Bop Box09:45 Rupert Bear10:00 Ben and Holly's LittleKingdom10:15 Jelly Jamm10:30 LazyTown11:00 Access11:10 Police Interceptors12:10 Police Interceptors13:10 Police Interceptors14:10 High Society16:20 To Hell and Back18:30 Attack!20:35 5 News Weekend20:40 NCIS22:15 Celebrity Big Brother23:15 Holiday Love Rats Exposed

00:05 The Heartbreak Kid

01:55 Weather for the Week Ahead

02:00 BBC News

07:00 Breakfast

09:30 The Andrew Marr Show

10:30 Live Athletics

13:00 BBC News

13:05 Weather for the Week Ahead

13:10 Formula 1

16:30 Escape to the Country

17:30 The Great British Bake Off

18:30 Songs of Praise

19:05 Deadly 60 on a Mission

19:35 BBC News; Regional News

and Weather

20:00 Countryfile

21:00 Strictly Come Dancing

22:15 The Village

23:15 BBC News; Regional News

and Weather

23:40 The Secrets

00:35 TOTP2

01:35 First Snow

03:10 This Is BBC Two

07:00 Carnival Boat

08:00 Countryfile

09:00 Monty Don's Italian Gardens

10:00 Gardeners' World

10:30 The Beechgrove Garden

11:00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites

12:30 Paul Hollywood's Pies &

Puds

13:00 Live Athletics

15:30 Bargain Hunt

16:00 Equestrian

19:00 Athletics

19:45 Porridge

20:15 Flog It!

21:15 Countdown to the Invictus

Games: Meet the Warriors

22:15 The Two Amigos: A Gaucho

Adventure

23:15 Him & Her

23:45 Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll

01:00 The Last Leg01:45 Homeland02:40 Hollyoaks04:45 Sarah Beeny's Selling Houses05:40 River Cottage Bites05:50 Deal or No Deal06:45 Rush Zone07:10 How I Met Your Mother07:35 Everybody Loves Raymond08:05 British GT Championship08:30 Triathlon09:30 National Paralympics Day10:30 Sunday Brunch13:30 George Clarke's AmazingSpaces14:35 The Big Bang Theory15:00 The Big Bang Theory15:25 The Big Bang Theory15:55 The Simpsons16:25 Fool's Gold18:35 Deal or No Deal19:30 Channel 4 News20:00 How Britain Worked21:00 Time Team Specials22:00 Houdini23:55 The Ugly Truth

00:15 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit onthe Psych01:15 SuperCasino04:05 Celebrity Big Brother05:00 House Doctor05:25 Make It Big06:15 Angels of Jarm06:40 Roary the Racing Car07:00 Peppa Pig07:05 Roary the Racing Car07:15 Angelina Ballerina07:30 Bubble Guppies07:40 The Mr Men Show07:55 Chloe's Closet08:10 Olly the Little White Van08:15 Bananas in Pyjamas08:30 Make Way for Noddy08:40 City of Friends09:00 Little Princess09:10 The Adventures of Bottle TopBill and His Best Friend Corky09:25 Wanda and the Alien09:40 Bert and Ernie's GreatAdventures09:45 Rupert Bear09:55 Milkshake! Show Songs10:00 Ben and Holly's LittleKingdom10:15 Jelly Jamm10:30 LazyTown11:00 Access11:10 Police Interceptors14:15 Lassie16:05 The Shaggy Dog18:05 Snow Dogs19:55 5 News Weekend20:00 Cricket 201421:00 World's Worst Disasters22:00 Celebrity Big Brother23:00 Abduction

01:55 Jackpot24704:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA04:40 ITV Nightscreen07:00 Pat & Stan07:25 Dino Dan07:50 Canimals08:00 Sooty08:10 Nerds & Monsters08:25 Nerds & Monsters08:40 Mr Bean: The Animated Series08:55 Chowder09:10 Chowder09:25 ITV News09:30 Weekend10:25 Dickinson's Real Deal11:30 Carry On Camping13:10 ITV News and Weather13:14 ITV Meridian Weather13:15 The Unforgettable13:45 The X Factor15:00 Cycling: Tour of Britain Live18:00 Long Lost Family19:00 You've Been Framed!19:30 ITV Meridian Weather19:45 ITV News and Weather20:00 Coronation Street21:00 The X Factor22:05 The Suspicions of Mr Whicher

HOUDINIThe first of a two­part drama following the life oflegendary illusionist and escape artist HarryHoudini from humble beginnings at circussideshows to sold­out concert halls. As he findsfame, the magician engages in espionage, battlesspiritualists and encounters the greatest names ofthe era, from US presidents to Arthur Conan Doyleand Rasputin. Adrien Brody takes the title role, withKristen Connolly as Bess, the love of his life, andEvan Jones as his assistant and confidant JimCollins.

KNOCKED UPRomantic comedy starring Seth Rogen andKatherine Heigl. Alison Scott's career as a televi­sion journalist is going from strength to strength.Out on the town to celebrate a promotion, she endsup in bed with amiable slacker Ben Stone and theirone­night stand results in an unexpected pregnan­cy that turns Alison's world upside down.

00:05 Live at the Apollo00:35 EastEnders02:30 Weather for the WeekAhead02:35 BBC News07:00 Breakfast11:00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites12:30 Football Focus13:00 BBC News; Weather13:10 Formula 115:30 Live Athletics17:05 Escape to the Country17:50 Pointless Celebrities18:40 BBC News; Regional Newsand Weather19:00 Tumble20:30 Doctor Who21:20 The National Lottery: In It toWin It22:10 Casualty23:00 BBC News; Weather23:19 National Lottery Update23:20 Kevin Bridges Live at theReferendum

00:00 Weather00:05 American Beauty02:00 The Secret History of OurStreets

03:00 This Is BBC Two07:00 This Is BBC Two07:10 Coast07:40 Formula 109:20 Formula 110:55 Formula 112:30 The Great British Bake Off:An Extra Slice13:00 Sweets Made Simple13:30 Paul Hollywood's Pies &Puds14:00 Talking Pictures14:40 Young Winston17:00 Richard Attenborough: A Lifein Film18:00 Flog It!19:00 Alex Polizzi: The Fixer20:00 Proms Extra20:45 Dad's Army21:15 Egypt's Lost Queens22:15 The Ides of March23:50 QI XL

36

00:00 ITV News and Weather00:14 ITV Meridian Weather00:15 Premiership Rugby Union01:15 The Store03:50 Motorsport UK04:40 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA05:20 ITV Nightscreen06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show07:00 Good Morning Britain09:30 Lorraine10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show11:30 This Morning13:30 Loose Women14:30 ITV News and Weather14:55 ITV Meridian Weather14:55 ITV News Meridian15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show16:59 ITV Meridian Weather17:00 Who's Doing the Dishes?18:00 The Chase19:00 ITV News Meridian19:15 ITV News and Weather19:45 Emmerdale20:15 Live International Football23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather23:30 ITV Meridian Weather23:40 International FootballHighlights

01:10 Closing Time02:10 SuperCasino04:10 Once Upon a Time05:00 House Doctor05:25 Make It Big06:15 Angels of Jarm06:40 Roary the Racing Car06:50 Roary the Racing Car07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas07:10 Igam Ogam07:20 Fireman Sam07:35 The WotWots07:45 Peppa Pig07:50 Peppa Pig08:00 Pip Ahoy!08:10 Ben and Holly's LittleKingdom08:20 The Mr Men Show08:35 Thomas & Friends08:50 Noddy in Toyland09:00 Little Princess09:15 Peppa Pig09:25 Peppa Pig09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas10:00 Tickety Toc10:15 The Wright Stuff12:10 The Dog Rescuers13:10 5 News Lunchtime13:15 Celebrity Big Brother14:15 Home and Away14:45 Neighbours15:15 NCIS16:15 Stranger with My Face18:00 5 News at 518:30 Neighbours19:00 Home and Away19:30 5 News Tonight20:00 The Billion Dollar WreckHunt21:00 Countdown to Murder22:00 Celebrity Big Brother23:00 Under the Dome

01:45 American Football Live05:45 British GT Championship06:10 Gordon Ramsay's HomeCooking06:40 SuperScrimpers07:00 Countdown07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun08:10 The King of Queens09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond10:00 Frasier10:30 Frasier11:00 Undercover Boss12:00 Location, Location, Location13:00 Channel 4 News13:05 Celebrity Coach Trip13:35 Come Dine with Me14:40 Win It Cook It15:10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent16:10 Countdown17:00 Deal or No Deal18:00 Come Dine with Me19:00 The Simpsons19:30 Hollyoaks20:00 Channel 4 News21:00 Jamie's Comfort Food21:30 Gadget Man22:00 Cops and Robbers23:00 8 Out of 10 Cats DoesCountdown

00:05 Boomers00:35 Live at the Apollo01:20 Weather for the Week Ahead01:25 BBC News07:00 Breakfast10:15 The Housing Enforcers11:00 Homes Under the Hammer12:00 Street Patrol UK12:45 Caught Red Handed13:15 Bargain Hunt14:00 BBC News; Weather14:30 BBC Regional News andWeather14:45 Doctors15:15 Pressure Pad16:00 Escape to the Country16:45 A Taste of Britain17:30 Flog It!18:15 Pointless19:00 BBC News19:30 Weather20:00 The One Show20:30 BBC News; Regional News20:30 EastEnders21:00 Holby City22:00 In the Club23:00 BBC News23:25 National Lottery Update23:25 BBC Regional News andWeather23:35 The Secrets

00:20 The Two Amigos: A GauchoAdventure01:20 Scrappers01:50 This Is BBC Two05:00 Schools ­ Writing for Walford05:30 Schools ­ Regency Life: 3Lives in 1 Day

06:00 Schools ­ Bringing Books toLife 207:05 Homes Under the Hammer08:05 Street Patrol UK08:50 Caught Red Handed09:20 Animal Saints and Sinners10:05 This World11:05 Food & Drink11:35 HARDtalk12:00 BBC News12:30 BBC World News13:00 Daily Politics14:00 The Super League Show14:45 Cash in the Attic15:30 The Chef's Protege16:00 Celebrity MasterChef16:45 Nature's Weirdest Events17:45 Great British RailwayJourneys18:15 Put Your Money Where YourMouth Is19:00 Two Tribes19:30 Eggheads20:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip21:00 The £100K House: Tricks ofthe Trade22:00 The Motorway: Life in theFast Lane23:00 QI23:30 Weather

DON’T STOP THEMUSIC

In this two­parter, internationally renowned classi­cal pianist James Rhodes, who believes that thepower of music can change lives, is on a missionto launch the nation's biggest­ever `instrumentamnesty', and is asking the public to donateunused instruments to children who could benefitfrom them. In the first edition, James visits StTeresa's Primary School in Basildon, Essex, whichwas placed in special measures after its mostrecent Ofsted inspection.

00:40 All Star Family Fortunes01:35 Jackpot24703:30 UEFA Champions LeagueWeekly03:55 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA04:40 ITV Nightscreen06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show07:00 Good Morning Britain09:30 Lorraine10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show11:30 This Morning13:30 Loose Women14:30 ITV News and Weather14:55 ITV Meridian Weather15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show16:59 ITV Meridian Weather17:00 Who's Doing the Dishes?18:00 The Chase19:00 ITV News Meridian19:30 ITV News and Weather20:00 Emmerdale20:30 Wilderness Walks with RayMears21:00 Long Lost Family: WhatHappened Next22:00 Hot Tub Britain23:00 ITV News at Ten andWeather23:30 ITV Meridian Weather23:40 Backdraft

00:00 NFL: The American FootballShow01:00 No03:05 Scandal03:50 Mammon04:55 Sarah Beeny's SellingHouses05:50 River Cottage Bites06:05 Deal or No Deal07:00 Countdown07:45 Will & Grace08:10 The King of Queens09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond10:00 Frasier11:00 Undercover Boss12:00 Location, Location, Location13:00 Channel 4 News Summary13:05 Celebrity Coach Trip13:35 Come Dine with Me14:40 Win It Cook It15:10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent16:10 Countdown17:00 Deal or No Deal18:00 Come Dine with Me19:00 The Simpsons19:30 Hollyoaks20:00 Channel 4 News21:00 Posh Pawn22:00 Don't Stop the Music23:00 Worst Place to Be a Pilot

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit onthe Side01:00 Countdown to Murder01:55 SuperCasino04:10 Once Upon a Time05:00 Nick's Quest05:20 Great Artists05:45 House Doctor07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas07:10 Igam Ogam07:20 Fireman Sam07:35 The WotWots07:45 Peppa Pig08:00 Pip Ahoy!08:10 Ben and Holly's LittleKingdom08:20 The Mr Men Show08:35 Thomas & Friends08:50 Noddy in Toyland09:00 Little Princess09:15 Peppa Pig09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas10:00 Tickety Toc10:15 The Wright Stuff12:10 The Dog Rescuers13:10 5 News Lunchtime13:15 Celebrity Big Brother14:15 Home and Away14:45 Neighbours15:15 NCIS16:15 The Boy She Met Online18:00 5 News at 518:30 Neighbours19:00 Home and Away19:30 5 News Tonight20:00 Meerkat Manor20:30 The Secret Life of Pets21:00 Cowboy Builders22:00 CSI: Crime SceneInvestigation23:00 Celebrity Big Brother

MondaySeptember 8

TuesdaySeptember 9

00:10 21 Up New Generation02:15 Weather for the Week Ahead02:20 BBC News07:00 Breakfast10:15 The Housing Enforcers11:00 Homes Under the Hammer12:00 Street Patrol UK12:45 Caught Red Handed13:15 Bargain Hunt14:00 BBC News; Weather14:45 Doctors15:15 Pressure Pad16:00 Escape to the Country16:45 A Taste of Britain17:30 Flog It!18:15 Pointless19:00 BBC News19:30 BBC London News20:00 The One Show20:30 EastEnders21:00 Inside Out21:30 Panorama22:00 New Tricks23:00 BBC News23:25 BBC Regional News andWeather23:35 The Secrets

01:35 Treacle Jr02:55 Countryfile03:50 Holby City04:50 This Is BBC Two07:05 Homes Under the Hammer08:05 Street Patrol UK08:50 Caught Red Handed

09:20 Animal Saints and Sinners10:05 The Stuarts11:05 Animal SOS11:35 Click12:00 BBC News12:30 BBC World News13:00 Daily Politics14:00 Fred Dibnah's Building ofBritain14:30 The Fred Dibnah Story15:00 Cash in the Attic15:30 The Chef's Protege16:00 Celebrity MasterChef16:45 Nature's Weirdest Events17:45 Great British RailwayJourneys18:15 Put Your Money Where YourMouth Is19:00 Two Tribes19:30 Eggheads20:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip21:00 University Challenge21:30 Only Connect22:00 Alex Polizzi: The Fixer23:00 Him & Her23:30 Weather

LIVEINTERNATIONAL

FOOTBALLSwitzerland v England. Coverage of the Euro 2016Group E qualifier at St Jakob­Park in Basel, whereboth sides get their campaigns under way. These arethe two highest­seeded nations in the group, and RoyHodgson will be looking to banish memories of a dis­mal World Cup by claiming all three points against acountry he once managed

37

00:40 The Cube01:35 Jackpot24704:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA04:40 ITV Nightscreen06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show07:00 Good Morning Britain09:30 Lorraine10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show11:30 This Morning13:30 Loose Women14:30 ITV News and Weather14:55 ITV Meridian Weather15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show16:59 ITV Meridian Weather17:00 Who's Doing the Dishes?18:00 The Chase19:00 ITV News Meridian19:30 ITV News and Weather20:00 Emmerdale20:30 Tonight21:00 Emmerdale21:30 Paul O'Grady: For the Loveof Dogs22:00 Chasing Shadows23:00 ITV News at Ten andWeather23:30 ITV Meridian Weather23:40 Hot Tub Britain

00:00 999: What's YourEmergency?01:00 One Born Every Minute USA01:55 Adam03:30 Gaslight04:55 Sarah Beeny's SellingHouses05:55 River Cottage Bites06:05 Deal or No Deal07:00 Countdown07:45 Will & Grace08:10 The King of Queens09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond09:25 Everybody Loves Raymond09:55 Frasier10:25 Frasier10:55 Undercover Boss11:55 Location, Location, Location12:55 Channel 4 News Summary13:00 Celebrity Coach Trip13:25 Come Dine with Me14:30 Channel 4 Racing17:00 Deal or No Deal18:00 Come Dine with Me19:00 The Simpsons19:30 Hollyoaks20:00 Channel 4 News21:00 Location, Location, Location22:00 Educating the East End23:00 Cops and Robbers

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit onthe Side01:00 Big Brother: Live from theHouse01:55 SuperCasino04:05 Once Upon a Time05:00 Michaela's Wild Challenge05:20 HouseBusters05:45 House Doctor07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas07:10 Igam Ogam07:20 Fireman Sam07:35 The WotWots07:45 Peppa Pig07:50 Peppa Pig08:00 Pip Ahoy!08:10 Ben and Holly's LittleKingdom08:20 The Mr Men Show08:35 Thomas & Friends08:50 Noddy in Toyland09:00 Little Princess09:15 Peppa Pig09:25 Peppa Pig09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas10:00 Tickety Toc10:15 The Wright Stuff12:10 The Dog Rescuers13:10 5 News Lunchtime13:15 Celebrity Big Brother14:15 Home and Away14:45 Neighbours15:15 NCIS16:15 Web of Desire18:00 5 News at 518:30 Neighbours19:00 Home and Away19:30 5 News Tonight20:00 The Railway: First GreatWestern21:00 Police Interceptors22:00 Celebrity Big Brother23:00 Dallas

00:05 Scrappers00:35 Biker Boyz02:20 Weather for the Week Ahead02:25 BBC News07:00 Breakfast10:15 The Housing Enforcers11:00 Homes Under the Hammer12:00 Street Patrol UK12:45 Caught Red Handed13:15 Bargain Hunt14:00 BBC News; Weather14:30 BBC Regional News andWeather14:45 Doctors15:15 Pressure Pad16:00 Escape to the Country16:45 A Taste of Britain17:30 Flog It!18:15 Pointless19:00 BBC News19:30 Weather20:00 The One Show21:00 The Great British Bake Off22:00 Our Zoo23:00 BBC News23:25 National Lottery Update23:35 The Secrets

00:20 Hotel India01:20 The Super League Show02:05 Kate Adie's Women of WorldWar One03:05 This Is BBC Two05:00 Operation Cloud Lab:Secrets of the Skies05:30 Science of the Harvest06:00 Schools: The Science ofSpace Dive

06:30 The Great British Year06:55 Schools ­ Wonders of Nature:Damselfly ­ Danger/Safety07:00 Homes Under the Hammer08:00 Street Patrol UK08:45 Caught Red Handed09:15 Animal Saints and Sinners10:00 Coast11:00 Red Arrows: Inside theBubble12:00 BBC News12:30 Daily Politics14:00 The Fred Dibnah Story14:30 The Fred Dibnah Story15:00 Cash in the Attic15:30 The Chef's Protege16:00 Celebrity MasterChef16:45 Nature's Weirdest Events17:45 Great British RailwayJourneys18:15 Put Your Money Where YourMouth Is19:00 Two Tribes19:30 Eggheads20:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip21:00 Hotel India22:00 Horizon23:00 Some People with Jokes23:30 Weather

00:05 Educating the East End01:00 Poker01:55 Hard Knocks02:50 KOTV Boxing Weekly03:20 Great North Swim04:15 Trans World Sport05:10 Triathlon06:05 National Paralympics Day07:00 Countdown07:45 Will & Grace08:10 The King of Queens09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond10:00 Frasier11:00 Undercover Boss12:00 Location, Location, Location13:00 Channel 4 News Summary13:05 Celebrity Coach Trip13:35 Come Dine with Me14:40 Win It Cook It15:10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent16:10 Countdown17:00 Deal or No Deal18:00 Come Dine with Me19:00 The Simpsons19:30 Hollyoaks20:00 Channel 4 News21:00 Sarah Beeny's Double YourHouse for Half the Money22:00 Grand Designs23:00 All Creatures Great andStuffed

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit onthe Side01:00 Law & Order: Special VictimsUnit01:55 SuperCasino04:10 Once Upon a Time05:00 Michaela's Wild Challenge05:20 HouseBusters05:45 House Doctor07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas07:10 Igam Ogam07:20 Fireman Sam07:35 The WotWots07:45 Peppa Pig07:50 Peppa Pig08:00 Pip Ahoy!08:10 Ben and Holly's LittleKingdom08:20 The Mr Men Show08:35 Thomas & Friends08:50 Noddy in Toyland09:00 Little Princess09:15 Peppa Pig09:25 Peppa Pig09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas10:00 Tickety Toc10:15 The Wright Stuff12:10 Cowboy Builders13:10 5 News Lunchtime13:15 Celebrity Big Brother14:15 Home and Away14:45 Neighbours15:15 NCIS16:15 I Dream of Murder18:00 5 News at 518:30 Neighbours19:00 Home and Away19:30 5 News Tonight20:00 Ultimate Police Interceptors21:00 World's Worst Journeys fromHell22:00 Celebrity Big Brother23:00 Wentworth Prison

02:10 Jackpot24703:55 Loose Women04:45 ITV Nightscreen06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show07:00 Good Morning Britain09:30 Lorraine10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show11:30 This Morning13:30 Loose Women14:30 ITV News and Weather14:55 ITV Meridian Weather14:55 ITV News Meridian15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show16:59 ITV Meridian Weather17:00 Who's Doing the Dishes?18:00 The Chase19:00 ITV News Meridian19:30 ITV News and Weather20:00 Emmerdale20:30 Coronation Street21:00 Celebrity Squares22:00 Scott & Bailey23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather23:30 ITV Meridian Weather23:40 Through the Keyhole

WednesdaySeptember 10

ThursdaySeptember 11

00:05 Room 101 ­ Extra Storage00:45 Rounders02:40 Weather for the Week Ahead02:45 BBC News07:00 Breakfast10:15 The Housing Enforcers11:00 Homes Under the Hammer12:00 Street Patrol UK12:45 Caught Red Handed13:15 Bargain Hunt14:00 BBC News; Weather14:30 BBC Regional News andWeather14:45 Doctors15:15 Pressure Pad16:00 Escape to the Country16:45 A Taste of Britain17:30 Flog It!18:15 Pointless19:00 BBC News19:30 Weather20:00 The One Show20:30 EastEnders21:00 DIY SOS22:00 Who Do You Think You Are?23:00 BBC News23:25 BBC Regional News andWeather23:35 Scotland Decides: The Big,Big Debate

00:20 Countdown to the InvictusGames: Meet the Warriors01:20 The Motorway: Life in theFast Lane02:20 Who Do You Think You Are?03:20 Doctor Who04:10 This Is BBC Two05:00 Schools ­ A Question ofFaith06:00 What Makes Me, Me06:35 Schools ­ Seeking Refuge

06:55 Schools ­ Wonders ofNature: Caterpillar to Butterfly ­Change07:05 Homes Under the Hammer08:05 Street Patrol UK08:50 Caught Red Handed09:20 Animal Saints and Sinners10:05 Escape to the Continent11:05 Gardeners' World11:35 HARDtalk12:00 BBC News12:30 BBC World News13:00 Daily Politics14:00 The Fred Dibnah Story14:30 The Fred Dibnah Story15:00 Cash in the Attic15:30 The Chef's Protege16:00 Celebrity MasterChef16:45 Nature's Weirdest Events17:45 Great British RailwayJourneys18:15 Put Your Money Where YourMouth Is19:00 Two Tribes19:30 Eggheads20:00 The Invictus Games21:00 Operation Stonehenge: WhatLies Beneath22:00 Penguins on a Plane:Great Animal Moves23:00 Mock the Week23:30 Newsnight

PENGUINES ON APLANE

Despite the ratings­grabbing title, this two­parterisn't quite the action thriller it sounds. Rather, it'san insightful documentary revealing how thou­sands of exotic animals are moved around theworld every day, and how they cope with beingtransported.

CELEBRITYSQAURES

New series. Life's Too Short star Warwick Davishosts a revival of the classic game show original­ly presented by Bob Monkhouse. The idea isbased on Noughts and Crosses with a giant gridof nine boxes. The contestants say whether theyagree or disagree with the general­knowledgeanswers given by the famous faces inside eachbox. If they are correct they claim that square,and the first to get three in a line wins the roundand the money. One participant then goes on toplay for the star prize.

38 Friday, September 5, 2014

Pro Business Support –for all your accountancyneeds in English; bookkeep­ing, taxes, wage slips andmore. We cater for compa­nies and self­employed peo­ple; we can deal with every­thing for you. Call us on 966923 963 for first consultationfree of charge.

Ref. DB6460L 85,000€Restaurant in enviable loca­tion with no local competi­tion and regular clientele.

This profitable, establishedleasehold restaurant has afully fitted modern kitchen,disabled facilities and afresh recently painted interi­or. directbusinessbrokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81Ref. DB6435L 97,000€Large successfully runleasehold Beauty Salonnear Quesada. Spacioussalon with 7 rooms andrental income from separatehair salon. All fitnessmachines, treatment bedsand tables included in thesale. directbusinessbro­kers.com Tel 966 44 33 81Ref. DB6457L 42,000€Excellent opportunity to pur­chase a well establishedand thriving leasehold

Bar/Cafeteria in a centrallocation in Torrevieja.Beautiful established gardenand south west facing ter­race with BBQ and all yearround trade. directbusiness­brokers.com Tel 966 44 3381Ref. DB6456L 20,000€Lively, popular leaseholdBar & Restaurant in a lovelyposition on La Manga over­looking the port. Fully fittedkitchen and extensive sunnyterraces. Freehold alsoavailable for purchase andflat above the premises.directbusinessbrokers.comTel 966 44 33 81Ref. DB6455L 150,000€Profitable leasehold CaféBar, competitively priced forquick sale. Air conditionedinterior with stylish decorand large terraces. Multipleincome streams: food, drink,internet facilities, games andice cream. Offering greatpotential for further growth.directbusinessbrokers.comTel 966 44 33 81

Ref. DB6446L 74,950€Beautifully presented lease­hold Garden FurnitureBusiness, recently reducedin price. A successful andeasy to run business withestablished website, signifi­cant internet sales, cus­tomer database and excel­lent reputation locally. direct­businessbrokers.com Tel966 44 33 81

Casa Tom CommunityChoir: From 8 September2014, Casa Tom CommunityChoir meets every Mondayat 2.00pm for 2.30pm. It is amixed choir and all levels

are welcome. No auditions,no solos. Make new friendsand have a good time.Location: Casa Tom,Avenida JACA 31, San Luis,Torrevieja. Phone or emailTerry for details. Phone:647­189­135. Email:casatomsanluis@gmail.com

Torrevieja ChristianFellowship at Avenida de lasCortes Valencianas 68,Torrevieja 03183, welcomeresidents and visitors alike,to their friendly and lively10.30 am. Service eachSunday morning. Duringthe month of August they willnot be holding the

Wednesday night meeting at6.00 pm. For further infor­mation and/or directionsplease telephone966700391 or visit our web­site on www.tcf­spain.org."International ChristianAssembly, Calle Pilar deHoradada 5, Torrevieja.Evangelical non­denomina­tional church. Sunday serv­ices 11am. Children'schurch 11am. House groupsin Torrevieja, Los Balcones,San Javier. Ladies meetingThursdays 11am. Craft club,Tuesdays, 2pm. Pastor,Rafael Restrepo. All nation­alities welcome. Call 966799 273 or 660 127 276. Pilar Christian CommunityChurch Calle Canalejas 3.Pilar de la Horadada.

CARPENTER

ACCOUNTANTS

BUSINESSOPPORTUNITIES

ALCOHOLICSANONYMOUS

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITYAUCTIONS

BARBER CONSTRUCTION

ALARMS

BLINDS

CLEANERSCATERING

CHURCH SERVICES

CHOIR

AUTO ENGINEERING HIRE CENTRE

Sunday Service at 11am,and Thursday at 5pm forPrayer and Praise andWorship. Home groupsmeet during the week. Allwelcome from any churchbackground or none. Forfurther information contactPilarChristian.CommunityCh u r c h @ g m a i l . c o m968575417 or 966848806.Reg No:2009­SG/AThe Church of Jesus Christof Latter Day Saints(Mormons) meet at 10.00each Sunday at theirTorrevieja meetinghouse in

the Torreaguas building onthe corner of Rambla JuanMateo Garcia 104, close tothe windmill in Torrevieja,667 533 597.The rainbow centre for spiri­tual awareness We meet inthe function room at sacosbar el leiminar just of the CV905 Rojales to torrieviejaroad We have a divine serv­ice on Sundays at 11am andon Wednesdays we hold anevening of clairvoyance at7.30 pm Also onWednesdays there is anopen circle at 5.30 for thosewho are interested in clair­voyance Healing is alwaysavailable by certified healersafter each meeting A warmwelcome to friends old andnew The mediums for themonth of July 2014 areWednesdays 2nd DebbieBlevins 9th Belinda & Jill16th Trish and Shirley 23rdSammy Fitzsimons 30thPaul & jennet. Closed untilaugust 31st then Belinda &

Sandra. Sundays 6th Paul &jennet 13th Belinda Bradley20th ray bailey 27th Trish.For further information callTrish on 966 844 795 orEmail the rainbowcentre­costablana@gmail.com

Car insurance quotes –new extra discount on fullycomprehensive policies atthe price of third party!Excellent prices for expats,all policies and call centrestaff in English. We will callyou back with a quote. 966923 963

CASER SEGUROS ­ for allyour insurance needs,home, car, health, funeral.Policies available in Englishand German. CallProfessional BusinessSupport on 966 923 963 fora quick quote from ourfriendly staff.

FISHING BOAT 4 manSeahog Shorty 60hp out­board, GPS, fishfinder,radio and trailer ( Torre de laHoradada).Starting prob­lems with engine. Bargain€3500 phone00447792307435 PORTABLE AIRCON UNIT

Hot and cold complete withflexible exhaust and fittings.As new condition, hardlyused (Holiday home).Bargain €99 phone00447792307435

Guitar lessons for beginnersand improvers. Provide aninsight into most styles.From 10€ per hour. CallPeter on 966789612 or629975378. TorrviejaViva Villa and VacationServices, For Short or LongTerm Rentals visit: www.vil­laandvacation.com or Call:965 707 188 or 626 397 397

Santiago de la Ribera 2 bed­room townhouse close tobeach and shops with com­munal pool €350 monthlyshort or long term lease Call0044 7890996330 ­968570645 (162)Ref: 61, A lovely two bed­roomed ground floor apart­ment, located in the centreof the small Spanish town ofLos Montesinos, With apleasant communal swim­

ming pool adjacent & allamenities in walking dis­tance. Long and short termrental available. Call: 965707 188 or 626 397 397

WANTED! Properties, alltypes, in the Torrevieja areawanted for long term rentals.Call us on 96 692 39632 or 3 bed / 2 bath apart­ments in San Miguel. Lift,communal rooftop pool &solarium, video entry sys­

39Friday, September 5, 2014

PROPERTY FOR RENT

CAR BREAKERS

CARS FOR SALE

GUITAR LESSONS

FOR SALE

GARDENER

DRAINAGEPETS

UPHOLSTERY CLEANING

LONG TERMRENTALS

INSURANCE

tem. Available for short orlong term rent from 350pcm. Tel 966723437 or 616493 487. (184)

BPP­1808 230,000€ ­ 3BEDROOM DETACHEDHOUSE FOR SALE in LOSMONTISINOS, ALICANTE,SPAIN TEL: 966443381BPP1804 3 bedroomdetached villa a spaciousfamily Villa Torrevieja ForSale fully furnished240,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2896 Old style spanish4 bedroom detached MonteZenia property reasonablypriced 175,000€ Tel: 966 4433 81BPP2897 3 BEDROOMSEMI­DETACHED HOUSEFOR SALE Aguas Nuevas193,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81BPP2898 2 BEDROOMBUNGALOW FOR SALEAguas Nuevas 125,000€Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2901 2 Bedroom apart­ment Aguas Nuevas73,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81BPP2906 Large 3 BED­ROOM BUNGALOW FORSALE Aguas Nuevas135,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81BPP 2907 Exceptional value2 BEDROOM APARTMENTFOR SALE €49,950 Tel: 96644 33 81BPP2908 Excellent location3 BEDROOM DETACHEDHOUSE FOR SALEVillamartin €269,000 Tel:966 44 33 81BPP2903 Huge Executive 3BEDROOM APARTMENTFOR SALE Los Montesinos€165,000 Tel: 966 44 33 81BPP2899 2 BEDROOMBUNGALOW FOR SALETorrevieja 59,000€ Tel: 96644 33 81Del Este, Santa Pola ­ 4bedroom Duplex within a

Secure Small PrivateCommunity. It has an inte­gral large garage with sink,washing machine, largestorage area. Independentlarge bedroom and full bath­room. American stylekitchen, three bathroomsand cloakroom, front andback terraces, large solari­um with bbq and shower,well maintained with a/c,ceiling fans. Communal Pooland third line from thebeach. Sold with all whitegoods and furnished for210,000 euros. 699613155Ref: KP3100, €183,000.Three bedroom, two bath­room detached villa, locatedin San Luis, on a 450sqmplot, with communal pool.Garage to side of house.Call: 965 707 188 or 626397 397Immaculate ground floorDuplex, 2 beds, 2 bath,Private Parking, Situated inNovamar, Gran Alacant.Price includes very tastefulfurniture and white goods.Walking distance to all localamenities and beach. Nowonly 129,750 euros. Ref NoK24. 627 711 1552 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floorduplex. Central heating,Grills, Fully furnished,Glazed in Galleria, 2 com­munal pools, private parkingand walking distance to theGran Alacant commercialcentre. Situated in the popu­lar urbanisation of PuertoMarino. Now only 96,500euros for quick sale Ref No.K46. 627 711 155Recently reduced 4 Bed, 3Bath Villa, in Gran Alacant.Quiet Location, ExceptionalViews. Converted Underbuild, 2 Lounges, 2Kitchens, Private Garageand being sold FullyFurnished, now only239.950 Ref: L81 Tel.680333242

Gran Alacant Detached villa,located in a very soughtafter location.Situated on a560m2 S/W facing plot andconstructed in 2005.Comprising of 3 bedrooms,3 bathrooms (2 full baths),Lounge­Diner, fullyequipped Kitchen, Porchand Solarium with Alicante &Sea Views. ref.L81.€258,000 neg. Tel.680333242Gran Alacant Town Housewith a difference. 2Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms,Glazed in Porch, QuietLocation, Extra storageareas, and South FacingPrivate Pool as well as 2communal pools. FullyFurnished, All mod cons.Greenland Views and alllocal amenities close by.Ref. No L79. 179.000 euros680 333 2422 Bedroom, 2 Bathroom,Unfurnished Mid TerracedTownhouse in GA. Recentlydecorated throughoutmeans this property is avery clean black canvass.Has Air­Con & SecurityGrills and the use of aCommunal Pool. Pricerecently reduced to110.000e Ref.K12 Tel.627711155 Reduced for a quick sale to95.000 e 2 Bedroom, 1 bath­room, Top Floor Duplex inGran Alacant. Very ModernProperty with Many extras.Glazed in Porch, Roof TopSolarium, Wooden Flooring.Immaculate condition andready to move in. Ref. K15Tel. 627711155.

Gran Alacant, Situated inthe "Alto" part of GranAlacant, this 3 bedroomed,4th floor apartment, offersluxury accommodation, withabsolutely stunning seaviews, as well as views ofAlicante bay and the famousSanta Barbara Castle.Theapartment is 89 squaremeters with open plankitchen / living room andincludes all electrical appli­ances & furniture also thereis a utility room, open ter­race, and private parking.The urbanisation also offersmany communal pools, ten­nis courts, restaurants andbars. Ref. K20 €109,000 Tel680333242Viva Villa and VacationServices are pleased to offerproperty sales for theTorrevieja and Oriheulaareas of the Costa Blanca,Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or626 397 397 or Visit :www.villaandvacation.comGran Alacant villa located ina very quiet area , situatedat the end of a cul­de­sacmeans there is no throughtraffic.3 bed, 3 bath, 330m2plot, established large gar­dens, working fireplace,solar panel for hot water,pri­vate parking, south facinggreat views, fully furnished,fantastic opportunity. ref.L85. €215,000 Tel680333242Beach front Line property,over looks CarabassiBeach, Gran Alacant. 2Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms,Secure UndergroundParking, Fully furnished,Roof Top Solarium. 3 Large

Communal Pools, Fantasticcommunal Gardens, TennisCourts and much more.125.000 Euros Ref No. K23.Tel. 627 711 155Lovely clean detached Villajust as you enter GranAlacant. Very central loca­tion, 3 Bedrooms, 3Bathrooms, Glazed inPorch, Garden Shed,Private Parking, AttractiveGardens, Private pool Ref:K59 240.000e Tel.627711155Offers Invited on a midTerraced Town house inGran Alacant. Comprising of3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms,Lounge Diner, Galleria,Solarium, Under build.Communal Pool andGardens, and withExceptional Views ofAlicante. Being Sold FullyFurnished including WhiteGoods. Ref. K42 Tel.627711155 (reasonableoffers only)Gran Alacant, Situated onthe very first urbanisation asyou enter Gran Alacant, this2nd floor duplex offers tasteand quality. Comprising of 2bedrooms, 1 bathroom,lounge­diner, independentkitchen, full roof­top solari­um with superb views andrecently glazed in porchoffering extra living area aswell as extra privacy as the

glass is mirrored. Ref.K44€108,000 Tel 680333242Gran Alacant south­facing,very private villa, with wood­land and Alicante views.Situated at the end of asmall cul­de­sac whichmeans this villa enjoys avery peaceful location.3Bedrooms with fittedwardrobes, 3 Bathrooms,lounge­diner with workingfireplace, fully fitted kitchenwith including white goods,large front porch,solarium,workshop and stor­age in under build, centralheating, air con H/C, ceilingfans, grills, UK T.V, off roadparking and plenty of out­side parking also. Due to itsorientation of this propertyenjoys full sun, all day,something very important inthe winter months. Ref.K24.€237,000 Tel 680333242

Experienced quiz­master/question setter withpersonality available to hostquiz nights in local bars.Tel:­ 664 838 581

RADIO COSTA INTERNA­TIONAL needs motivatedsellers. Spanish, Englishand German language is abonus but not essential.Training and good earningsguaranteed. For more infocall 644 126 600 or emailinfo@radicocostainterna­tional.com

Gardening, property mainte­nance, translations, cheaprates call David 722521654.

Need English speakingsolicitors in Torrevieja?Let us help to solve yourproblems with debt recov­ery, divorce, property, fraud,criminal defence. Call us on966 923 963, give us briefdetails and get in touch withyour specialist solicitortoday

SALON MARGARETHAS,23 years in TorreviejaHair/Wig specialist forMedical illness and HairLoss problems. We offer dif­ferent Hair Replacements,top fillers, Hair prostheses,Toupees and Wigs, Naturaland Artificial hair and muchmore. Also fashion/festivalaccessories TV/TS are wel­come to our service. Pleasecall our salon reception foran appointment withMargaretha on Tel no 966921 846 Torrevieja (90)

SOLICITORS

40 Friday, September 5, 2014

SURVEYOR

REMOVALS

SITUATIONS WANTED

WANTED

STONE CRAFT

WIG SPECIALIST

POOL TABLES

POOLS

PLUMBERS

VAN HIRE

QUIZZES

SITUATIONS VACANT

PROPERTY FOR SALE

Over the past few weeks, I have started to see a steadyincrease in green fees. For the visiting golfer now, theLow season is coming to an end, and there is also atrend to divide the year up into more categories like,High, Medium and Low seasons. This I guess is to justify higher prices, and in some cases theLow season lasts for just July and August .The High Seasontakes in March, April, October and November, whereas, Mid­season is January, February, May, September andDecember. I have even heard of the same policy for buggypricing. The High Season prices are now exceeding 60euros with a buggy, with others asking for over 70 euros!Why, oh why do they not have one price all the year round?Then we would all know where we are (To coin a phrase).

Not so long ago a reader’s letter who felt that we should con­sider that, here in Spain, winter golf is a bonus. He did agreethat golf here was getting too expensive, which was his rea­son for not playing, and that the courses had a similarity toUK supermarkets and had become just money makingmachines. He went on to say that it is not a god given rightto play golf here in the winter and perhaps we should play offtemporary mats and on temporary greens to allow thegreen­keepers to get on and do their job, like in Britain.Having played golf in Spain for twenty years, it is only inrecent times, that golfers have been asked to put up with theinferior facilities that are on offer. Perhaps the golf courseshave served their purpose in attracting the house buyer, so

now the developers do not give a damn. I think that some ofthe comments are not that just over winter golf, but moreabout the grasses, when they change appearance. Yes,Bermuda grass does go dormant in the winter but the hybridgrasses such as Tifway 419 and Tifgreen 328 are resistantto wear and quickly regenerate when the weather getswarmer. They are also water quality, drought and wear toler­ant. Other Bermuda hybrids cope well with cooler conditions,and are readily available ­ but do courses care or know?What does create mud­heaps, is not the winter season ofthe year (Spain’s high season), but possibly poor coursemanagement, maintenance and cost. When there are tem­porary greens there are no financial benefits for putting upwith only part of a course. So why should golfers under­stand? There are courses around our region that havegreens and tees in use all year round, because, they havedesigned and constructed the greens and tees correctly, andthey have good maintenance programmes and control thegolfing traffic. We are not looking for Open championshipcourses but courses of quality, which are aesthetically pleas­ing and provide a good test of golf and are kept in good con­dition. Bare mud heaps on the tees are mainly due to the fact thatthe green­keepers staff do not move the tee blocks on a reg­ular basis. They should be moved daily, and then the previ­ous day’s playing area divots should be sand/ seeded, but inmost cases they are just left to become an eye sore. Golfgreen­keeping is all about presentation. When golfers seewinter work being carried out, they also want to see theresults of the labour. We see roped off areas around puttinggreens, but no maintenance has been carried out, and onceyou have a bare piece of soil it would seem they rope thearea off, and that’s it!Temporary tees and mats only serve to remind golfers ofmunicipal golf. Municipal golf is fine and I’m not knocking it,with most golfers starting off their love of the sport on suchcourses, but when you’re paying 70 euros for a green feethey are not acceptable. Constructors and course designers

should build larger teeing areas to spread the wear, or con­struct a teeing area purposely for “winter golf”. I accept as domost golfers, that from time to time you need to have tempo­rary greens when hollow tinning, but tees NO! However, theymust be a well prepared area that gives a true putting sur­face, not just cut out on the fairway as is nearly always thecase. When these temporary greens are used, they shouldhave temporary markers to show the distance of the hole,and not leave the golfer to guess the distance.Yes! Winter maintenance is essential. Yes! There is moregolf traffic in the winter than summer, since this is Spain andthe climate here is (normally) very mild. That’s why Spanishgolf is advertised so widely, but courses can and should beconstructed, managed and maintained accordingly, in linewith the green fees that are being demanded. But it is notonly green fees that are out of line with the product on sale.A recent experience started more bells ringing, other thanthat on cash registers.All resident and tourist golfers are aware of the four europint, well cop this! I was in a golf clubhouse with somefriends and decided to have one of my favourite delicacies,chips:­ yes those cholesterol busting slivers of potato, withvinegar and tomato sauce. There were five of us, so I askedfor a large portion (plate), and these were quickly devouredand a second plate was ordered. The problem occurredwhen the bill came. Apparently we had had six portions,three on each large plate and the cost was ­­­­ Wait for it!Wait for it! 27.60 euros ­ that’s 4.60 euros a portion, inEnglish money £3.80 for a small portion of chips and we hadsix of these. This was topped (no not the chips) with a 3.80

euros pint of shandy! This was at a club that is struggling toget a golf course together and struggling on catering snacks.No more chips at this rip off joint. Come on Golf Directors,let’s not get back to the old days when expat golfers couldnot afford to play and took up other activities. Think onalready, as three courses have closed in the past twelvemonths.

Greenside GossipIVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

A golfer gets hit on the head by a wayward shot and istaken to hospital. He finally awoke from his coma. Stiffas a board and in pain in the hospital's ICU, with tubesup his nose & down his throat, wires monitoring everyfunction and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him. It wasobvious he'd been in a serious accident.She gave him a deep and steady heartfelt look straight inthe eyes and he heard her slowly say, "You may not feelanything from the waist down."He somehow managed to mumble in reply, "Can I feelyour boobs, then?"

QUESTIONIn a hazard, a player’s ball lies against a movable obstruc­tion. A loose impediment lies on top of the obstruction in sucha position that the player cannot remove the obstruction with­out also moving the loose impediment. The player is entitledto move the movable obstruction under Rule 24­1 but is notentitled to move the loose impediment under Rule 23. Whatis the procedure?ANSWERThe player may remove the obstruction as authorized byRule 24­1. As the loose impediment will be moved in theprocess, in equity (Rule 1­4), the player incurs no penaltyand must place the loose impediment as near as possible tothe spot where it originally lay. If the player fails to place theloose impediment as required, in equity (Rule 1­4) and inview of the purpose of Rule 13­4, he would lose the hole inmatch play or incur a penalty of two strokes in stroke play.Loose Impediments (Rule 23)If you remove a loose impediment and this causes your ballto move, the ball must be replaced and (unless your ball wason the putting green) you incur a one­stroke penalty.

KNOW YOUR RULES

41Friday, September 5, 2014

TITTER ON THE TEE

B U N K E R E DOVER PRICES

42 Friday, September 5, 2014

Granada thought they were leaving theMartínez Valero with all three points, afterFran Rico gave the visitors an 81st minutelead. It wasn’t to be though as Elche bat­tled their way back, David Lombán (pic­tured celebrating) scoring a dramaticequaliser right at the death, close to mid­night last Sunday.

Elche's Edu Albacar had an early headertipped over by Roberto Fernandez andthey went close again four minutes laterwhen Cristian Jonathas headed DamianSuarez's corner wide. Isaac Success hadGranada's first real effort but his 20­yardstrike flashed wide. Garry Rodrigues testedRoberto with a left­foot attempt after Piti'scorner was not properly cleared, but thekeeper was equal to the task. Granadagrew into the game as the first half went onand Youssef El Arabi drew a close­rangesave from Przemyslaw Tyton. The Polishinternational then also tipped Jonathas'shot around the post before Enzo Rocofired over from the resulting corner to leavethe scoreline goalless at half­time.

The second half became scrappy, with

Elche's Suarez and Rodrigues andGranada's Rico and Ruben Rochina allbooked before the hour mark. It was almostinto the last 10 minutes before Granadawere able to break their hosts down, butDimitri Foulquier dragged his shot wide.There was no such mistake from Rico twominutes later, though, the midfielder slot­ting home from six yards after being set upby Success. But having fallen behind,Elche finally showed as an attacking forceonce more and snatched an equaliser inthe first minute of injury time. Albacar wasthe provider, crossing from the left forLomban to finish at the far post, with thereferee then blowing the final whistle.

Elche manager Fran Escribá said:­ “Thispoint has great psychological value. It’salways important to add points and for usto see that we’re a competitive team. Thefans have left satisfied, even though we’veonly gained a point.”

The international break means thatElche’s next match is a Sunday lunchtimeencounter at Rayo Vallecano onSeptember 14th.

ELCHE’S LATE SHOWELCHE 1 GRANADA 1

Real Madrid surrendered a two­goal leadafter just 11 minutes as they crashed to ashock La Liga defeat at struggling RealSociedad on Sunday. Madrid had looked setto sweep Sociedad aside as they strucktwice early on through Sergio Ramos andGareth Bale while also hitting the woodworkthrough the Spain defender. The visitorsalso had a number of other chances toincrease their lead before Sociedad stageda stunning comeback that saw them snatchthe victory through goals from Inigo

Martinez, pictured celebrating (36), DavidZurutuza (41 and 65) and Carlos Vela (76).Madrid had opportunities to set up a franticfinale but Sami Khedia headed over, EnautZubikarai denied James Rodriguez andKarim Benzema hit the outside of the postas they left San Sebastian empty­handed.They’ll need to get their act quickly togetheras their next match after the internationalbreak is a home meeting a week onSaturday with the La Liga champions,Atletico Madrid.

MADRID SHOCKERREAL SOCIEDAD 4 REAL MADRID 2

Sandro Ramirez scored his first seniorgoal for Barcelona to help them to a narrow1­0 win at Villarreal, and two wins fromtheir first two matches. Luis Enrique's menhad looked distinctly out of sorts at ElMadrigal until the teenager's 82nd­minutegoal, failing to zip the ball around in theirusual manner. They struggled to get toomany sights of Villarreal's goal and only the

woodwork meant they were not behind.Sandro ­ the 19­year­old academy gradu­ate ­ ensured they went home with thespoils, though, tapping in a cross fromLionel Messi who was frustrated by theVillarreal defence all night. Barcelona’snext match after the international break is aweek on Saturday when they entertainAthletic Bilbao.

NEW BOY ON THE BLOCKVILLARREAL 0 BARCELONA 1

A late penalty miss deprived Torreviejaof maximum points from last Sunday’s fix­ture, with Carrasco blowing a chance togive Torry two wins out of two.

The first half was a fairly even affairwith Carrasco and Rafa being kept quietby a tough Utiel defence, whilst at theother end, a goal­line clearance fromAlexis kept the visitors on level terms athalf­time.

Striker Steve Ekedi came on with anhour gone, and he added more bite upfront, and was involved in the best moveof the match when a slick interplaybetween Brani, himself, Carrasco andRafa ended with an unusually off targetshot high from the latter from the edge ofthe area.

Torry pressed hard for the winner andUtiel became more and more desperate.

Referee Pintado was weak, issuing noless than 10 cautions, but missing hostsof infringements and keeping well out ofthe way when the a lot of pushing andshoving ended in a 18 man melee! He didhowever, award a penalty to Torry with 10minutes to go as Alexis was hauled downin the box and dragged along it.

Steve had blasted home from the spotin a friendly against Cartagena, so it wassurprising to see Carrasco assume theresponsibility. His 79th minute kick wasnot fierce enough nor well placed, withAlfredo guessing right and punching itaway. Torry pressed until the final whistlebut not before Steve made a rash tackleand was shown his second yellow cardand thus dismissed, which meant he wassuspended for Wednesday’s home clashwith Muro.

TORRY PAY THE PENALTYUTIEL 0 CD TORREVIEJA 0

CD Montesinoshanded out a 12­nilthrashing to Cuidad DElx FC last Saturdaynight, writes ANDREWATKINSON, to take theannual Full MonteTrophy challenge. Notsurprisingly Edu andVazquinho wereamongst the goals inthe one­sided romp,and Vaz was afterwardspresented with the topleague goal­scorer’strophy for last season.Monte’s next pre­sea­son friendly is tomorrownight (Saturday) whenthey take on UnionIlicitana from Elche witha 7.30pm kick off.

MONTE’S DOZEN

He was made football captain because he was good atfootball: cricket captain because he was good at cricket;and vice­captain because he was good at… everything.

So runs the old joke ­ but seriously, don’t we British makefar too much of the role of captaincy? Certainly we do whencompared to other footballing countries. There the job sen­sibly seems to go to the most experienced member of theteam. Back in 1982, here in Spain, theWorld Cup winners were Italy, cap­tained by their 40­year­old goalkeep­er, the legendary Dino Zoff.Similarly when Spain won in 2010it was their goalkeeper IgorCasillas who lifted the Cup.Goalies? England wouldn’t…

Question: who liftedthe World Cup thissummer forGermany inBrazil? Why, thesmallest, per­haps mostundemonstra­ble characteron the field: itwas full backPhilipp Lahmwho actuallyraised theCup, but it

was unanimously done, a real team effort ­ which is how itshould be. All this evidence points to the fact that if the teamare OK, everyone’s doing their job properly and are well­briefed before the game, then no­one needs a ‘superior’ indi­vidual shaking his fist at you (see below) or encouragingyou with a friendly arm round the shoulder – and in anycase any other member of a real ‘team’ can and will oblige.It really is not much more that leading ‘em out, callingheads or tails, and generally doing what any of the seniors– and some well­meaning juniors of teams already do, i.e.talk it up to each other to raise team morale, along the styleof ’C’mon lads, let’s get stuck in lads, we can do it…’ etc. Allgood, clean stuff, no?

I only really remember one captain I played underduring a number of games when younger. ‘Wally’was a huge hulk whose knuckles dragged as hewalked: a frightening­looking individual withbushy mutton­chop sideboards adorninghis belligerently red face, above a hugebarrel chest. Ugly? Quasimodo wasn’t init. Wally was a terrifying tackler and ashe did, he emitted a loud growl, whichturned into a bellow when he got mad…which was often. He was our centre halfand leader everywhere: on the field, inthe dressing room and definitely in thebar. Wally was the sort of individualyou didn’t cross, irrespective ofwhether he was on your side or not(the fact that I was ‘seeing’ hissister­in­law on the quiet wasworrying…). I always followedWally’s f­worded ‘instructions’to the letter – so yes, thattype of captaincy certainly

motivated me ­ but you don’t see his type of ‘leadership’today ­ thank goodness.

So now (some) Manchester United and English footballfollowers have recently become excited, once again (yawn),about the captaincy of their club and country. Even Louisvan Gaal has been drawn into the debate, concerned thatthe ‘awesome* responsibility’ may affect Wayne Rooney’sgame. What a quantity of sphericals…. United need his abil­ity, not his leadership. Shh… but our Wayne has previousform, having been one of the infamous few sent off playingfor England ­ good or bad credentials?

After the usual disastrous England World Cup foray, theBritish media has been full of ‘who will the country’s newcaptain?’ following Steven Gerrard’s retirement from interna­tional football. No disrespect to anyone, honest wack, butStevie G’s captaincy didn’t really do us much good in Brazil,did it now? To me the Reds captain always looks so worriedabout everything ­ remember that Scouse story, probably cir­culated by an Evertonian about SG’s house being brokeninto while he was actually playing, and subsequently therewere joke pictures circulating of him playing, displaying hispermanently­worried expression with a thoughts bubblereading ‘Eh, hope nobody’s burgling my house’ …

Of course, to most mouldy oldies like me, the words‘England’, ‘football, and ‘captain’ are enshrined in oneendearing, iconic image from 1966: blond, blue­eyed Bobby

Moore, the epitome of English man­hood and footballing prowess, Anyred­blooded Englishman – orwoman – of a certain vintage willrecall the immaculate Moore smilingand holding up the surprisingly­small gold Jules Rimet trophy**,

chaired by his valiant England teammates. Ah, now, quietly­spoken, digni­

fied Bobby really was a captain, wasn’the? Sadly the man died far too young atthe tender age of fifty­one from bowel can­

cer. Those were the days, my friend. RIP,Bobby…So: will our Wayne cut the mustard as he

leads out United and England? Does anybodycare? Answers on a postcard to: I. Cudnt­give­

amunkys, Home for the Bewildered, Blank Coast,Spain.* ‘awesome ‘ apparently is American­derived (isn’t

everything) and excessively over­used by the yoof oftoday ­ sorry, I was just quoting LVG.** since awarded permanently to Brazil in 1970 for win­

ning it three times, replaced by the FIFA World Cup Trophy.

43Friday, September 5, 2014

CAPTAINCY

The Murcia­based broth­ers Anthony and Mat Ford­Dunn are all set to go for thisSunday’s third round of theSpanish Supermoto champi­onships at the Alabaida cir­cuit near Alcoy. They will behoping to get the better oftheir rivals over the weekendon their ‘Advance MovesInternational Removals’s p o n s o r e dSupermotoland.com racebikes. Mat (pictured) leadsthe SM 35 Master champi­onship whilst Anthony is only32 points behind the champi­onship leader in the premierSM open championship.

ANT AND MAT ARE BACKIt was seventh time unlucky for Torrevieja on Wednesday

night, as they’re yet to record a win over Muro. The homeside were on the back foot after just 70 seconds, as a weaktoe poke from Lucas from outside the box trundled over thegoal line before Oscar dived for it.

Torry were undaunted though and attacked with enterprise,and equalised in the 35th minute when Cristian played asweet ball to Brani on the right and the gifted Croatianvolleyed it into the net with exquisite skill.

Torry tore into the visitors relentlessly in the second periodseeking the winner and Jorge went close from set piecestwice, with Vicente Boix (pictured) in good form as well butthe goal would not come in an entertaining encounter.Torrevieja are away to Ribarroja this Sunday before returningto the Vicente Garcia to entertain Torre Levante on SundaySeptember 14th.

OSCAR FOOLEDCD TORREVIEJA 1 MURO 1

DOES IT REALLY MATTER?

Goodison Goalie’s Gaffs Gift Chelsea In Nine-Goal Thriller

TOURETTICALLYTESTED TIM!

44Friday, September 5, 2014

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m notsuggesting Tim Howard’sTourette’s syndrome Costa Evertonthat fantastic game againstChelsea last Saturday. But theAmerican goalkeeper is a sufferer,and his behaviour and tizzy­tantrums almost got him sent­off,not once but twice in the pulsatingmatch, which Everton lost 6 ­ 3.After only 20 minutes and already 2­ 0 down, temperamental Tim camerushing out and clearly handled theball a yard outside the penalty area.

Stopping a goal opportunity is a clear sending­offoffence, but somehow it was fortunately missed,thanks to a(nother) myopic linesman. Like many other so­called neutrals, I confess to havinga soft spot for Everton, forever the underdogs in thegreat city of Liverpool. I fancied them to do well thisyear after finishing fifth and no­Europe last season.The result looks like the Toffees were chewed up andspat out by hungry Chelsea, but if you saw the gameyou know that wasn’t the case at all. Just to scorethree very good goals against an excellent southernBlues team was some feat in itself – but your owndefence isn’t supposed to leak six, even against thefearsome new West Londoners strike force.Poor Tim Howard has had quite a year so far already,with hardly a break from last season’s fantastic seasonbefore he was in Brazil and playing superbly for hiscountry. That irresistible, never­say­die USA team gotto the last 16 of the World Cup only to be narrowlybeaten by Belgium, and Howard hardly put a foot

wrong.But sadly on Saturday I think the Everton stopper wasat fault for three of the goals, and had that not been thecase, an honourable 3 – 3 draw would have been aboutright. Through his legs for Diego Costa’s first, nochance with Branislav Ivanovic’s goal, but then after 2– 0 our Tim shouldn’t have even stayed on the field.Coleman’s own goal was then conceded from tooacute an angle, any decent goalkeeper should keepthose out. But immediately Tim’s tightrope­taut tempersnapped as he chased and confronted the tauntingCosta for a coarse jibe at Coleman, almost getting hismarching orders for the second time, lucky to escapewith just a booking. At that stage Everton still lookedcapable of pulling it back, and OK, Howard wasunsighted for Matic’s sidefoot, but he could and shouldhave done better with Ramires’ low shot for the fifth ­finally no chance with Costa’s last. So: six conceded,one booking and lucky twice not to be sent off? Youneed a rest, Tim ­ before there’s more trouble… Current key question: just how good are Chelsea? Ohyes, Diego Costa is the real deal, the Premier prize ofthe close season: his four in three mean he’s alreadyon the trail of Suarez’s unbelievable achievement lastseason, the Brazilian Spaniard now aided by‘Fab’regas to supply ‘em. Mourinho wasn’t happy hisBlues conceded three goals, which included an Etospecial, tee­hee, pity Lukaku couldn’t manage onedespite a terrific game. But now, just to rub everyoneelse’s noses in it, Chelski snapped up Loic Remy in thefinal summer sales. Why didn’t anyone else? Likesomeone who really needed him… Here’s one: like a Blind, rich old man blunderingaround in the dark being pick­pocketed of his money,

Man United are desperately buying/hiring whoeverthey can. £6m a year loan fee for a barely­fit Falcao?No problem. Dutch deal for Daley Blind a snip at only£13.8m, chicken feed when you look at the crazymoney United have been Angelically scattering aroundlike confetti. Obviously (England International) DannyWelbeck’s face didn’t fit with LVB, he’s off to Giroud­less, Senogoals Arsenal. Back on Planet Earth – well,Turf Moor ­ a sterile goalless draw against spiritednewbies Burnley granted the Red Devils a measly sec­ond point. The mega­millions must make it happen ­and soon – or else…Nasty neighbours and some people’s tip­for­the­top­again Man City turned in one of those dodgy perform­ances against Stoke their loyal supporters have cometo dread over the magic years. Despite their huge valueand abilities, the Blues lost 1 – 0 to a modest, hard­working Potteries side that altogether cost less thanwhat City paid for Sergio Aguero. City’s well­knownaspirations are firmly fixed on the Champions Leagueafter two Premier titles in three seasons, but the Bluecurse has struck again (fix!) and once more City are inthe Group of Death, along with champions BayernMunich, CSKA Moscow and AS Roma. Eh lads, I fancy Swansea… or I will if the Boyos beatChelsea next week. Three wins from three games, play­ing lovely winning football at the expense of Man U(!),Burnley and West Brom: great – but can The Swansstay swimming serenely?Euroqualifiers this week (yawn): on Sunday, Scotlandare in Germany and Northern Ireland away to Hungary.England (sigh) visit Switzerland on Monday, with Walesaway to Andorra on Tuesday. Roll on t’weekend, andback to the big stuff…

JohnMcGregor

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