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Running Head: INTERFAITH PARENTING 1

Interfaith Parenting

Katelyne Brockman

Emily Purifoy

Rachel Nider

Kansas State University

INTERFAITH PARENTING 2

Table of Contents

PAGES CONTENT

3 Interfaith Parenting Introduction

4 Clear need for program

5 Theoretical Basis

6 Unit Introductions

12 Program Format

13 Teaching Unit One: Identity Development in children

17 Teaching Unit Two: Maintaining differentiation and personal authority

22 Teaching Unit Three: Conflicts of Interfaith Marriages

26 Conclusion and Evaluation

29 References

32 Appendix


Interfaith Parenting

Program Goal and Target Audience

By completion of this program, participants will have had the opportunity to discuss

knowledge and methods in which they can aid in the healthy identity development of their child,

maintain differentiation, personal authority and resolve interfaith marital conflicts. Our target

audience for this program will be interfaith parents of all faiths seeking guidance and a fresh

prospective.

Introduction

A family dynamic that is steadily rising in numbers and acceptance, involves the joining

of two individuals from different faiths. Interfaith marriages and thus interfaith parenting

provide unique experiences for the family unit that may call for intervention. Thus, prompting

this parenting education project. As educators and spiritual believers, we discovered a similarity

of the parents and grandparents and their foundational role in same faith and interfaith families.

Furthermore, interpersonal relationships bind individuals together by birth, marriage or adoption.

Some may share physical, financial, or spiritual resources that stem from various traditions.

While different forms and sectors make up different religions and all spiritual journeys are

unique, the defining of an “interfaith family” proved to be difficult within our research. The

personal aspects of each individual’s spiritual journey, may lead one to think that every family is

of interfaith. Alden (n.d.) concurs, “People raised in the same faith tradition, in the same

congregation even, nonetheless enjoy a unique understanding and experience of Spirit” (p. 3).

Obviously individual spiritual growth goals amidst interfaith families provide more challenges

than their same faith peers.


Alden (n.d.), realizes that with these different religions, families face a dynamic tension between

upholding and relying on family cohesion and honoring religious freedom.

To onlookers who have married within their specific faith, the decision to marry a spouse

of a different religion seems troublesome. This difference may cause conflict during the identity

development of children and the whereabouts of their church upbringing. As educators, we

concluded that in the midst of wedding planning and envisioning the future ahead, these

interfaith couples prefer to relish in the excitement and joy of their upcoming marriage and avoid

the threat of jeopardizing their current state of happiness. Therefore the focus on serious

questions concerning the problems that may arise in their marriage and upbringing of future

children is absent.

Clear need for program

There is a clear need for this program due to the rising number of interfaith marriages in

America. The approval rating for interfaith marriages is about 80 percent of adults ages 18 to 23

(Hanes, 2014). Therefore, a program must be put into place to educate and inform interfaith

marriage prospects and current parents of alternative ways to work through marital conflicts. In

our program, they will have support and the tools improve their relationships. This program

works with couples and there children who are showing signs of an unhealthy identity

development. Throughout the program, parents and their peers will promote healthy identity

development for their children through shared experiences and discussions. Our support

counseling will guide towards the acceptance of differences in faith and the maintenance of

marital satisfaction given the unique but widely accepted partnership. Thus, utilizing those

differences for improved parenting practices. The support counselor would provide assistance

concerning individuals of all faiths, with any other prevalent problems that have not been


addressed within the project. As educators we value a positive balance and healthy lifestyle for

the parents and their children. Our focus is for each individual to receive knowledgeable

information and techniques that will improve their circumstances

Theoretical Basis for Program

The systems theory can be applied to our program. According to Ludwig Von

Bertalanffy (n.d.), “The system theory believes that patterns in a system are circular rather than

linear” (p. 1). To fully gain an insight and understanding of one person, the systems in which he

is surrounded by must be taken into consideration (Bertalanffy, n.d. p.1). Similar to the domino

effect, one tile will affect the rest if they are all lined up. With this being said our theory can

provide guidance in our interfaith units to meet the needs of our participants dealing with

interfaith problems in their marriage and how we can better understand and gain the participants

knowledge on developing a system that works for both individuals. Rather than focusing on one,

we will look at it through a holistic view to support the couple through their challenges they face

in regards to interfaith parenting.


Identity development

Interfaith parenting involves the raising and mentoring of children amidst two different

religions or spiritualties. Concerns that arose before the start of this project included what

mental, physical and cognitive effects this split has on the children during their upbringing and

throughout their lifetime. The development of one’s identity is based upon many factors but for a

child of interfaith parents, the process is unique and harder. As educators, a worry arises about

the healthy identity development of the child. This causes a clear need for the program.

From a survey by The Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life, people in religiously mixed

marriages attend worship services less often than people married to someone of the same faith

(2009). But among those who attend religious services at least yearly, those in religiously mixed

marriages attend multiple types of services at a higher rate than people married to someone of the

same religion. These differing religious routines will cause variation in the success or delay of a

healthy identity development. It is vital for the program to discuss the effects of interfaith

parenting on their child’s identity development.

During the psychosocial development of individuals, a main event theorized by Erik

Erikson’s fifth stage is Identity versus Role confusion. Within this stage, independence is

increasing as well as the thought and effort that is put into interpersonal relationships, schooling

goals and career aspirations (McLeod, 2008). This major stage in development causes one to

learn the roles that they will occupy. While reflecting on family life, traditions and norms, some

may take this transition with much ease while their peers may suffer from role confusion

(McLeod, 2008). This role confusion can be an onset of various reasons. When failed exploration

of possibilities occur, they may have a harder time forming their own identity. This failure to

establish a sense of identity is a reason for the role confusion. For the individuals in the midst of


role confusion or identity crisis, the next step is to experiment with various lifestyles (McLeod,

2008). Daily encounters and discussions between parents of teenagers may involve stories of

these famous rebellions. Upon further evaluation for the cause of these rebellions as educators,

the possibility of the teen feeling pressured into a certain identity is certainly plausible. The

possibility of forming a negative identity is also probable.

A model for healthy identity development will vary with different backgrounds and

experiences as well as the definition of a healthy identity. An interesting statement by Bronk

(2011), suggests that purpose and identity go hand in hand. Bronk (2011) states, “By committing

to an inspiring purpose in life is an important component of healthy identity development for

adolescents” (p. 34). Throughout personal research for this unit, a minimal amount of studies

have shown to evaluate how identity and purpose develop together. This particular study looked

at eight adolescent purpose exemplars for five years in order to develop a grounded model of the

interactions of purpose and identity. Bronk (2011) indicates that what individuals hope to

accomplish in their lives serves as the basis of the adults they hope to become.

Maintaining Differentiation and Personal Authority

Although interfaith marriages are often looked down upon and on occasion are forbidden

in some religions; and despite the fact that they can cause difficulties and hardships in the

relationship, such marriages are quite common in the United States (Moyrl, 1999). It is argued

that interfaith marriages increase the risk of divorce, due to the fact that having shared religious

beliefs would lead to less conflict with one another (Parsons, Nalbone, Killmer & Wetchler,

2007). However, a study done in 2001, the divorce rates among interfaith couples were not any

higher than the general populations divorce rate. Even if the couple practices different religions,

that does not mean they cannot have a strong, committed relationship, practicing differing


spiritual beliefs. Although it has been reported that religious differences are not responsible for

majority of marital conflicts, there is still the possibility that complications will arise; especially

if one of the individual’s religions is held up on a pedestal and viewed as more important or more

“in the right” (Walsh, 2010). It is essential that both spiritual practices are viewed equally, or at

least respected equally between the couple. It was reported that with happily married couples,

religious differences only attributed to 10% of tensions experienced as opposed to 46% with an

unhappily married couple (Parsons et al., 2007). This poses the argument if there is decreased

marriage satisfaction, the religious difference would only exasperate conflict; if there is

sufficient marriage satisfaction, the religious differences do not prove to influence additional

marriage conflicts.

Marital satisfaction is defined as “the ability to have role flexibility, open

communication, and low emotional reactivity with one's spouse”. One factor that contributes

towards increase marriage satisfaction is having an identity in the relationship (Parsons et al.,

2007). Men who have developed their own beliefs, values and morals are more satisfied in their

marriages than those who have not; with females, it sustains the marriage stability, especially

with the more she grows personally, the stability grows as well. It is up to the individual to

decide what to bring into the relationship; this is done through the individual gaining and

maintaining a sense of differentiation and person authority (Parsons et al., 2007).

Differentiation by definition is “the balance between individuality and togetherness”

(Parsons et al., 2007) along with this there is the ability to maintain a balance between emotional

and intellectual functioning relating to intimacy and autonomy. If one suffers from a lack of

differentiation in the relationship, this runs the risk of the individual experiencing emotional cut-

off and/or fusion within the relationship. Fusion happens when an individual establishes a


physical and psychological connection with another; which ends up hindering the individual due

to the fact that they become incapable to make their own decisions and form their own opinions.

This is accompanied by the individual experiencing being emotionally cut-off from the same

individual. This would involve the individual to start distancing themselves emotionally and

physically to avoid any further hurt or feelings of helplessness as a result from the fusion

(Parsons et al., 2007). So maintaining a sense of differentiation is essential for marriage

satisfaction in the sense that the members of the relationship must always maintain their own

identity and a sense of self; which is challenging to maintain in any form of relationship.

A very important practice to pair with differentiation is maintaining personal authority;

which is the “ability to speak freely about one’s own thoughts and opinions” (Parsons et al.,

2007). Some examples of this would include having the ability to compose one’s own thoughts

and opinions as well as maintaining the ability to have the freedom to decide whether or not to

express such thoughts and opinions, having the ability to act on good judgment as well as

making good decisions and recognizing that they possess good judgment, in relation to the past

two items mentioned; the ability to deal with the possible consequences that would follow and

lastly maintaining the ability to interact, connect emotionally and coexist with others on the

individuals own time and will. (Parsons et al., 2007).

Before couples can hope to be successful in the childrearing process along the lines of

religion, they must have a solid, respecting relationship with each other, as well as having a

mutual respect of their partners differing religion. They must not give up their individual identity

and they must be very open and honest. They must become familiar with their partners spiritual

beliefs and practices as well as always addressing any concerns that they may find themselves

facing (Walsh, 2010). If they do not, this is where one of the individuals may start experiencing


becoming emotionally cut-off. A clear need for the program is present because the process will

not be an easy one and conflict will more than likely arise at one point or another. Both

individuals must work personally and with teamwork to encourage each other to maintain

differentiation as well as personal authority to ensure that marriage satisfaction is maintained and

prolonged.

Conflicts of Interfaith Marriages

When couples are of different faiths and have different religious beliefs, there are certain

problems that may arise due to each individual having to deal with their partner’s different and

unique point of view. This can bring conflicts that may negatively affect their marriage. To help

prevent future conflicts as educators, we bring awareness to help the couples understand the

importance of communication. As an educator, it is important to advise couples to discuss how

they might handle major problems that may arise and how they would resolve them in order to

avoid future arguments. Discussing important situations before marriage for example, which

church the children will be raised in, will be easier to discuss before you tie the knot. How you

would handle different problems that may arise during your marriage may help you have a more

successful and healthy interfaith marriage, and settle any future arguments you might have,

easier than if you did not talk about them ahead of time. According to Kuhlman G. A, Patricia S

(2003), “Two individuals from two different families form a new identity and must choose what

traditions, habits and beliefs to bring into their marriage” (p. 1). The difficulties that often arise

are most likely because of miss communications, assumptions and high expectations that each

individual grew up understanding the way things should be. Some individuals are not aware of

the fact that while their beliefs are such an extreme part of their everyday lives, they

unconsciously hold their partner to an unrealistic standard of what they think their family’s


identity should be. Stating Kuhlman G. A, Patricia S (2003), Therefore, one must look inward

and better understand how their belief system affects their everyday lives before thinking about

how this belief system could affect their partner (Kuhlman, Patricia, 2003, p. 1)

According to Kuhlman G. A and, Patricia S (2003), “a couple must learn to be sensitive

to their partner’s communication style as well as understand the influence their upbringing has

had on how they communicate a message. Once a couple effectively learns their partner’s

“language of communication,” they will be able to diminish conflicts in this area” (p. 1).

In marriage, people have to cope with the other persons conflicting personality and learn

how to best communicate with their partner to deal with the many differences that the couple

has. These unique difference prompt a clear need for this program. Interfaith couples have

different beliefs that can affect how they interact with each other. According to Batson, C. D.,

Sahl A, H. (2011), “The relationship between marriage and religion is the essential part of family

planning and family life for most religious denominations” (p. 4). When two people are married

and have separate beliefs, the opportunities for the conjoining of diverse marital and family

beliefs will occur (p. 4).

An example on a problem that could come with not being able to communicate well to

one’s partner is: In the article Factors influencing relationship satisfaction Ricaurte mentions

there is a higher risk of divorce among interfaith couples if one partner attends religious services

more often than the other, or is more religious than the other. This can cause problems because

one person might feel resentment towards the other person if they won’t go with them to a

service, the other couple might want to stay at home or go somewhere else. The person that

wants to stay home might feel guilty towards the other party, because they are not satisfying a


need that the other wants them to do. Couples can become less satisfied in their marriage

because they did not talk about the problems that they had (2014).

Program format

This course will be a three-week program, three hour long session from six pm to nine

pm in a local community center. There will be provided childcare at each session. Included in

each session, there will be different activities, discussions and handouts, following the topic of

each week. Utensils needed will be provided for the individuals in order to participate actively

and affectively with the activities. Along with complementary drinks and snacks for the

participants to enjoy during their breaks. The community center has many, spacious rooms to fit

group sessions comfortably, and gives the participants the option to walk around during breaks

or discussion. Along with spacious rooms the center also has smaller rooms to compliment the

needs of a more intimate session.


Teaching Unit One: Identity development

Katelyne Brockman

Overall program goal

By the completion of this program, participants will have the knowledge and resources to

overcome interfaith differences. Additionally, relieve stress and gain support from the parent

educators and their cohorts.

Unit Goal

Upon completion of this course, interfaith parents will collaborate with peers to promote their

child’s identity development.

Objective #1

Participants will select the definition of Erik Erikson’s fifth stage of psychosocial development

from a multiple choice document.

Objective #2

Participants will identify six methods to promote their child’s healthy identity development.


AGENDA: SESSION ONE (Identity Development)

6:00pm-9:00pm

6:00-6:20 Individual introductions and ice-breaker

6:20-7:35 Activity

6:20-6:30 Watch a short video explaining Erik Erikson’s fifth stage of

identity development

6:35-6:45 Discuss suggestions and share stories in which parents have

encouraged self-discovery in mini groups

6:45-6:55 Discuss suggestions and share stories in which parents can

acknowledge their children’s natural abilities in mini groups

6:55:7:05 Discuss suggestions and share stories in which parents can value

uniqueness

7:05-7:35 Highlight key points of mini group discussions amongst entire

group

7:35-7:45 Break

8:00-8:45 Activity continued

8:00-8:15 Discuss suggestions and share stories that help the parent reinforce

their child spiritual identity

8:15-8:30 Collaborate as an entire group about findings of second-half

8:30-8:45 Distribute survey and worksheet

8:45-9:00 Additional questions and distribution of completion certificates

Identity Development


Individual introductions and ice-breaker

Upon entering the facilities, the parents will find a seat in the education room wherever

they would like. The educators of the night program will introduce themselves to the group. At

this point, we will perform an ice breaker for the participants. Going around the room and

sharing names and something that they like about themselves consists of the introductions and

the ice breaker.

Activity

After the ice breaker, we will explain the importance of identity by reviewing the

teaching unit through a video clip. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70yDo6cexyY

From here, the participants will be asked to separate into groups of four people or groups of six

people. On a white drawing board, there will be a list of topics that will be discussed. These

parents will collaborate with others to gain ideas and experiences that will help their child foster

healthy identity development. Between the mini groups, they will share experiences and

suggestions among each other including how to Encourage Self-Discovery, Acknowledge natural

abilities, Value Uniqueness. After these prompts are discussed in each mini group, all the groups

will reconvene and we will discuss the common findings, solutions and suggestions. The major

and most popular suggestions will be written on the white board at the front of the room. The

parents will be given paper and a utensil if they did not bring any or they are more than welcome

to take a picture of the board.

Break

There will be a fifteen minute break at this point in time.


Activity continued

After the break, there will be two more prompts that focus more on the spirituality. Once

the break is over, the mini groups will reconvene and share stories, suggestions and advice with

each other about how to Highlight Spiritual Gifts and Reinforce Spiritual Identity. After this mini

group session, the entire class will come together and share key points and solutions that they

found most useful concerning the last two topics. These will be also put on the board so that the

participants can write the information down or take a picture of it. After this, the educator will

briefly cover the main points suggested for each topic. There will be distribution of a survey

about the unit. A worksheet that has a multiple choice option for the definition of Erik Erikson’s

fifth stage of psychosocial development. Also on this worksheet, the participants will identify six

methods to promote their child’s healthy identity development.

Additional questions

Any additional questions, comments or concerns can be made at this point in time. After

the participants turn in their worksheet and survey, participants will receive a certificate of

completion that has a coupon for a free slice of pie at the local restaurant, Grinters Kitchen.


Teaching Unit Two: Maintaining Differentiation and Personal Authority

Emily Purifoy





Unit goal

Participants will delve into key spiritual convictions and practices that are most prominent in

their daily lives by identifying their core morals and tendencies.

Objective #1

Participants will answer, review and analyze fifteen questions to aid them in stating their own

personal opinions with their partner involving interfaith parenting, maintaining differentiation

and personal authority in the relationship.


Agenda: Session Two (Maintaining Differentiation and Personal Authority)

6:00pm-9:00pm

6:00-6:25 General Introduction

6:25-6:30 Men and Women Split into Designated Rooms

6:30-7:00 Ice Breaker/Group Discussion (Men and Women Separate)

7:00-7:40 Activity

7:00-7:30 Questionnaire explaining their own opinion

concerning components of interfaith parenting

Once men and women are split up

7:30-7:40 Break

7:40-8:40 Activity Continued

7:40-8:40 Couple discuss answers to Questionnaire with proctor

present for additional guidance and support

8:40-8:45 Men and Women Reconvene together and distribute survey

8:45-9:00 Q&A/Wrap-Up of Session #2 and distribution of completion

certificates


Maintaining Differentiation and Personal Authority

General Introduction

Starting out, all couples will meet together in the main room for a general introduction

and meeting. The educator will then elaborate on what to expect for the evenings activities.

Men and Women Split into Designated Rooms

At this time the couples will separate from their partner, having the separated from each

other will help eliminate the possibility of either party experiencing pressure to answer any

questions in favor of their partner.

Ice Breaker/Group Discussion

While still in different rooms, the men and women will then participate in a brief “get to

know you” exercise to help alleviate any tensions or pressures they may be feeling in regards to

the questionnaire they are required to fill out for this session. The Ice-Breaker will be simple,

there will be desks set up in a circle, one by one the individuals will go around the circle and

state:

1) Their name

2) How many kids they have or if they are expecting or if they want to have children

3) One of the main concerns they may have involving interfaith parenting

4) Their favorite thing about being an interfaith couple

5) A fun or funny fact about themselves


Activity

The participants will then be given a questionnaire composed of fifteen different

questions relating to interfaith parenting and concerns that may arise in the process of

childrearing. They will be asked to answer the questions with their own personal opinions, not

what they think their partner would say or would want to hear.

Break

Once the questionnaire is complete, everyone will get a short break; however they must

stay in the designated rooms to avoid the possibility of the couple discussing the questionnaire

before the designated time.

Activity Continued

Following the break, the men and women will then move again to designated rooms to

convene with one another about their answers on the questionnaire. Couples discuss answers to

the questionnaire. This will be the smallest group meeting of the night, and will only have three

individuals present; the couple, and then an educator to provide support and guidance for the

couple as they discuss their answers to the questions they were presented with. Another purpose

of the educator being present is to avoid one opinion trumping or getting shut down over their

partners. The educator is present to ensure that both sides are heard and respected when

disagreements are made between the partners. In doing this, it will help them begin the practice

of maintaining differentiation and personal authority in their relationship. Determining how these

differing dogmas may cause affliction and discovering the steps they desire to take will help

alleviate and resolve these conflictions. Parents are asked to stick to their personal opinions and


defend and explain why they feel a certain way, rather than falling into practicing fusion and

having their partner unhealthy influencing their opinions.

Men and Women Reconvene and complete survey

Following the individual couples personal meeting, all couples will then reconvene

together in the space they originally met at the beginning of the session. Participants will receive

a survey to complete.

Q&A and Wrap-Up of Session Two

Here, an educator will wrap things up and address any additional questions or concerns

that the individuals may have. Participants will receive a certificate of completion that has a

coupon for a free slice of pie at the local restaurant, Grinters Kitchen upon completion of the

survey.


Teaching Unit Three: Conflicts of Interfaith Marriages

Rachel Nider





Unit goal

In completion of this session, participants will learn positive and effective ways they can

communicate to their partner.

Objective #1

Individuals will demonstrate the one most common form of spousal expression during conflict.

Objective #2

Identify two personality traits between the couple in which they can begin to communicate

effectively.

Objective #3

Identify two occurring problems and then assess them swiftly to aid and avoid future problems.


Agenda: Session Three (Conflicts of Interfaith Marriage)

6:00pm-9:00pm

6:00-6:20 Greetings and Topic Introductions

6:20-8:20 Activity

6:20-:740 Activity One: The couple expresses opinions and

are given the opportunity to talk about what they

believe they need to work on to better their

relationship.

7:40-8:00 Activity Two: The couple will assess and reflect on

what the other mentioned as their best language of

communication. Then use tips to help understand

their partner and affectively use them to conquer

their conflicts on their own.

8:00-8:20 Activity Three: The couple will be put into role play

situations.

8:20-8:30 Break

8:30-8:55 Discussions/Questions

8:55-9:00 Distribution of surveys and completion of certificates


Conflicts of Interfaith Marriage

Greetings and topic Introductions

After greeting the couple and a little conversation to see how the last sessions went, we

will next introduce the schedule for the last session. To let the couple be know what to expect,

and to make them feel more comfortable with their last session.

Activity

Through techniques of reflective listening and learning their partner’s language of

communication. By learning how their partner expresses themselves they will have a better

understanding of what influences their partner and learn how to diminish or avoid conflict in this

area of communication. The activity is split up between three parts. For the first part of the

activity, the support communicator will provide the couple with the opportunity to talk about

different problems that they feel a need to work on. The couple will then be given a worksheet,

for them to write down information about what they are feeling during and upon completion of

the activity. With the support communicator, using questions to guide the couple, and asses what

issues and problems could be focused on. After gaining some insight on what the couple’s

situations are, the communicator will provide an activity to insure the couple would gain

knowledge, and discuss with their partner, how each individual best communicates.

Next, the couple will assess and reflect on what the other mentioned as their best

language of communication. They will learn tips to help develop understanding and gain

knowledge of how to affectively and positively respond to their partner when a conflict arises.

The couple will next identify two personality traits the other has in order to communicate

effectively. The couple will then reflect how the activity went in their worksheet.


Lastly the support communicator will provide the couple with the opportunity to role

play, this will help the couple be put into the other person shoes to understand how that partner

communicates. The couple will be put into two role play situations regarding occurring problems

they may have. They will learn to assess them swiftly to aid and avoid future problems. The

couple will once again reflect upon their feelings and ideas in their worksheet.

Break

At this time the couple will take a ten minute break, to get a snack, and drink and to use

the restroom. They can also use this time to right down any questions they might have.

Discussion and Questions

At this time the couple will discuss and have the opportunity to ask questions and

concerns they might still have, or mention things they learned through the program. This will be

a time of reflection and opportunity to have the individuals speak any last thoughts before their

session is over, with the help of a support communicator to guide them. We will also provide

them with resources that will be beneficial to their current situation.

Distribution of Surveys and Completion of Certificates

Participants will receive a certificate of completion that has a coupon for a free slice of

pie at the local restaurant, Grinters Kitchen upon completion of survey. Session will then be

dismissed.


Conclusion and Evaluation

As educators and citizens, we have continuously observed our surroundings and noticed

that interfaith marriages are becoming more acceptable and denominations have become more

diverse. Therefore the opportunity to marry a person of another faith is a plausible possibility.

Couples who share the same beliefs are more likely to hold similar family and gender attitudes

and to agree more about the choices they confront in their relationships and family life (Ellison,

Burdette, Wilcox, 2010). There are many different factors that can contribute to interfaith

couples having conflicts. One of those conflicts might be having a third party involved.

Whether or not that there is in-laws, a child who thinks differently or a friend who agrees on the

same belief as one of the spouses, or a religious group in your community. According to Batson

and Sahl, they mention that group size was important to prediction interfaith marriages among

Catholics in the United States (2011). The lager the group in the area, the less likely they were

to marry outside Catholicism. Some members of certain groups try and prevent marriage to

someone with a different religion. If they were to get married, those same people would be the

ones to speak negatively in their lives and try to push at what the other is doing wrong (Batson &

Saul, 2011). As educators, we feel it is beneficial for the couple to surround themselves with

other couples with the same difficulties or religions that can help understand the problems that

the couple is going through. Likewise, maintain a connection with friendly groups that are

positive and helpful to both parties.

In addition to our outline units on identity development, marital conflict and maintaining

differentiation and personal authority, our additional units are as follows: constructive

punishment of children, benefits of seeking counseling and lastly, being affirmative in beliefs

while combating familial pressures.


A unit on the punishment of children in interfaith households would consist of guidelines

that lay out the aspects child abuse. This unit will focus on how to report child abuse, what

evidence needs to be noted and the consequences of failure to report child abuse and neglect. The

unit on benefits of seeking counseling would include a textual scavenger hunt concerning the

systematic issues that perpetuate the negative view of ‘asking for help’ in American society. A

support group whose goal is to help the participants lower their pride by prompting them to ask

questions that are necessary to receive guidance would combat this systemic issue. A weekly

session at a local park could also provide a setting where the participants can feel comfortable

speaking their mind. The unit on pressure from the in-laws and peers concerning particular

religious affiliations will include a motivational speaker who specializes in empowerment and

assertiveness. The unit will focus on how to stand up for yourself and what you believe in.

Perhaps the viewing of Martin Luther King Jr’s speech will rally some passion for firm beliefs.

An assignment that will require them to state the participant’s stance, action and a hopeful

outcome will help them stand up against peer pressure.

To successfully evaluate our program, we will email the participants a link to our review

and feedback tab on our website. Constructing a bi-weekly “walk-in” group discussion where

couples who completed the program can maintain their community networks will occur one

month after the program. This follow up discussion aims to further the relationships made within

the interfaith community. This walk-in will lead to discussions of their progress and milestone

since their completion of the program. Additional reflections of marital progress and roadblocks

can further be discussed with the educators or peers during this time.

Our process evaluation will stem from the responses we received from the information on

the website feedback page. This will help us achieve our goal of better assessing the needs and


concerns that participants feel were not fully met during the parent education project. For

example: the evaluations of participants expressed that they were given too much time to discuss

the prompts and wondered off topic. We have taken that into consideration and the educators

will make continuous rounds checking up on their progress. Our outcome evaluation consisted of

an immediate survey after every unit measuring the satisfaction of the participant’s experience.

Our program effectiveness will give couples a better stance within their interfaith roles more so

than before they started the program. This increase is knowledge is the fuel to the fire for their

marital satisfaction and empowerment within child rearing.

Speculations of the program include the certification of the educator. For example, if the

family is having conflict, a Marriage and Family Therapist may have better qualifications in the

eyes of the parents. Additionally, if the child has any noticeable deficiency, they may go straight

to a Child Life Specialist. Also, the idea of group discussions may be uncomfortable to some.

Therefore, a one on one therapist setting may be more appealing to the individuals.

Interfaith marriages and parenting provide a unique experience for the family unit that

may call for intervention. Due to different beliefs of the couple, they may have occurring

conflicts that require assistance in order to maintain healthy interpersonal relationships within

their interfaith partnership. As educators it is within our helping profession to develop a support

program. This education program provides interfaith parents with the ability to collaborate with

peers to promote their child’s identity development. The program also provides opportunities to

delve into spiritual convictions and practices that are most prominent in their daily life.

Identifying their core morals and tendencies is done to maintain differentiation and personal

authority in the relationship. The educators will assist in helping the participants learn valuable

and effective ways they can communicate to their partner.


References

Alden, S. (n.d.). Taking It Home: Families and Faith Tools for Deepening Your Faith at

Home. Let's Talk About Interfaith Families. Retrieved from (2015)

Batson, C. D., Sahl A, H. (2011). Race and religion in the bible belt: parental attitudes toward

interfaith relationships. Sociological spectrum: Mid-South Sociological Association,

Volume 31, issue 4. Retrieved from

http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/02732173.2011.574043#abstract

Biesalski. C (2012). Looking back, Systems Theory and Ludwig Von Bertalanffy. Retrieved from

http://emcsr.net/looking-back-systems-theory-and-ludwig-von-bertalanffy/

Bronk, K. C. (2011). The role of purpose in life in healthy identity formation: A grounded

model. New Directions for Youth Development, (132), 31-44. Retrieved from

http://search.proquest.com.er.lib.k-state.edu/docview/1018483387?accountid=11789

Coffin, D. B. (2008). Young adult children of interfaith parents: Ego-identity development

(Order No. AAI3308920). Available from PsycINFO. (621749560; 2008-99180-079).

Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com.er.lib.kstate.edu/docview/621749560?

accountid=11789

Ellison, C. G., Burdette, A. M., & Wilcox, W. B. (2010). The couple that prays together: Race

and ethnicity, religion, and relationship quality among working-age adults. Journal of

Marriage and Family, 72(4), 963-975. Retrieved from


Hanes, S. (2014, November 23). Interfaith America: 'Being both' is a rising trend in the


US. Retrieved April 27, 2015, from

http://www.csmonitor.com/The-Culture/Family/2014/1123/Interfaith-America-

Being-both-is-a-rising-trend-in-the-US

Kuhlman G. A, Patricia S. (2003). Pre-wedding tips. Interfaith, Intercultural and intermarriage.

Marriage Success Training. Retrieved from http://www.stayhitched.com/interfaith.htm

McLeod, S. (2008). Erik Erikson | Psychosocial Stages | Simply Psychology. Retrieved April 28,

2015, from http://www.simplypsychology.org/Erik-Erikson.html

Moryl, J. (1999). Raising interfaith children: Spiritual orphans or spiritual heirs? Library

Journal, 124(17), 76. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com.er.lib.k-

state.edu/docview/196744281?accountid=11789

Parsons, R., Nalbone, D., Killmer, J., & Wetchler, J. (2007). Identity Development,

Differentiation, Personal Authority, and Degree of Religiosity as Predictors of Interfaith

Marital Satisfaction. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 35(4), 343-361. Retrieved

April 26, 2015, from Taylor & Francis Online.

http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/01926180600814601#

Pew Research Center. (2009, December 8). Many Americans Mix Multiple Faiths. Retrieved

April 24, 2015, from http://www.pewforum.org/2009/12/09/many-americans-mix-

multiple-faiths/

Ricaurte, M. (2014). Factors influencing relationship satisfaction, conflict and compromise

http://www.simplypsychology.org/Erik-Erikson.html

http://www.csmonitor.com/The-


among individuals in interfaith relationships (Order No. AAI3569373). Retrieved from

PsycINFO. (1509633341; 2014-99031-188). Retrieved from


Virtual Mosque (2011). Intercultural & Interfaith Marriages. Before Marriage-Spouse.

Retrieved from www. virtualmosque.com (2014).

Walsh, F., P.H.D. (2010). Spiritual diversity: Multifaith perspectives in family therapy. Family

Process, 49(3), 330-48. Retrieved from


Libguest, 04/26/15,



Appendix

Program Materials:

-CERTIFICATE OF COMPLETION

-PROGRAM SURVEY

Unit One Materials

-WORKSHEET FOR UNIT ONE

Unit Two Materials:

-QUESTIONAIRE

Unit Three Materials

-REFLECTION ACTIVITY ONE WORKSHEET

-REFLECTION ACTIVITY TWO WORKSHEET

-REFLECTION ACTIVITY THREE WORKSHEET


Document: Certificate of Completion


Document: Survey for all Units

Program Survey Please circle a number that represents your outlook on this course on a scale of one

to four.

1-Unsatified 2-Somewhat satisfied 3-Satisfied 4- Very Satisfied

1 2 3 4 Amount of knowledge gained after the activity

1 2 3 4 Likeliness of utilizing the resources made available

1 2 3 4 Overall experience of this course

1 2 3 4 Fulfilled personal expectations

1 2 3 4 Fulfilled couple expectations

Please circle a number that represents your stance.

1-Not likely 2-Somewhat Likely 3-Very Likely

1 2 3 4 Will recommend this project to peers and family

1 2 3 4 Will attend future seminars and programs

1 2 3 4 Will attend the follow up discussion after completion

1 2 3 4 Will utilize information learned from the program


Document: Worksheet for Unit One (Identity Development)

Name Erik Eriksons fifth stage of Psychosocial Development

Please select the correct definition of Erik Erksons fifth stage of psychosocial development A) During this stage the infant is uncertain about the world in which they live. To resolve these feelings of uncertainty the infant looks towards their primary caregiver for stability and consistency of care.

B) The child now feels the need to win approval by demonstrating specific competencies that are valued by society, and begin to develop a sense of pride in their accomplishments.

C) Children are becoming more independent, and begin to look at the future in terms of career, relationships, families, housing, etc. The individual wants to belong to a society and fit in. This is a major stage in development where the child has to learn the roles he will occupy as an adult. It is during this stage that the adolescent will re-examine his identity and try to find out exactly who he or she is.

D) Who is Erik Erikson?

McLeod, S. (2008). Erik Erikson | Psychosocial Stages | Simply Psychology. Retrieved April 28,

2015, from http://www.simplypsychology.org/Erik-Erikson.html

Name six ways to promote healthy identity development as discussed in the Activity 1)

2)

3)

4)

5)

6)

http://www.simplypsychology.org/social-roles.html


Document: Questionnaire for Unit Two

(Maintaining Differentiation and Personal Authority)

Individual Interfaith Questionnaire

Name:_________________________________ Room #:_______

1.) Under what religious affiliation do you consider yourself being a part of?

2.) Do you prefer to teach your child both faiths, or just one or the other? Explain.

3.) If you desire to teach your child multiple faiths, will you want them to practice both faiths until adulthood, or would you have them choose a specific one to practice? At what age do you feel a decision like this would be appropriate?

4.) Do you feel if though it would be unfair to ask you child to choose one religion or the other? Explain.

5.) What do you feel are the most important components of your spiritual practices that you desire to teach your child?


6.) Would it upset you at all if your child happens to choose your partners religion over your religion? Do you predict this causing any strains on your marriage?

7.) Do you have any desire for your partner to participate or be present in your religious practices or traditions along with you and your child?

8.) Is it important to you that your child is able to participate in your spiritual holidays?

9.) What does your faith mean to you personally? Is it a huge part of your life? Elaborate.

10.) Is there anything in particular you will expect from your partner while raising your child between two differing faiths?


11.) Do you for see having a differing faith that your partner causing any strains in the relationship? If so, what are some steps you would like to take in order to implement teamwork to work through this obstacle?

12.) Would you ever personally feel comfortable practicing any of your partner’s spiritual beliefs along with your child?

13.) Are there any conflicting beliefs between you and your partners differing beliefs that you could foresee being a burden on your child, or cause conflicting feelings? If so, what are they and do you have any thoughts on how to address this with your child?

14.) How much of an understanding do you have about your partners practices and beliefs? What do you plan on doing to increase that understanding?

15.) Please list any concerns you would like to discuss with your partner relating to raising your child with multiple faiths. Is this a scary concept? Intimidating? Burdening? Why?


Document: Reflection Activity One Worksheet for Unit Three

(Conflict in Interfaith Marriage)

Document: Reflection Activity Two Worksheet for Unit

Three

Activity One: Week Three

WRITE DOWN ANY THOUGHTS

YOU HAVE DURING THE

ACTIVITY

Expressing opinions

NEGATIVE EMOTIONS POSITIVE EMOTIONSHOW YOU FEEL YOU CAN

IMPROVEHOW YOUR PARTNER CAN

IMPROVE



Activity Two: Week Three

Document: Reflection Activity Three Worksheet for Unit Three

NEGATIVE EMOTIONS POSITIVE EMOTIONS YOU HAVE

HOW YOU FEEL YOU CAN IMPROVE

HOW YOUR PARTNER CAN IMPROVE

YOU HAVE

Reflection and

assessing

WRITE DOWN ANY THOUGHTS YOU HAVE

DURING THE ACTIVITY



Activity Three: Week Three

WAYS YOU CAN IMPROVEROLE PLAY

NEGATIVE EMOTIONSPOSITIVE EMOTIONS YOU

HAVE

WAYSYOUR PARTNER CAN

IMPROVEWAYS

WRITE DOWN

THOUGHTS YOU HAVE DURING

THIS ACTIVITY

kmbportfoliofshs.files.wordpress.com · web viewthus, prompting this parenting education project....

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