Sean Fullmer

29 April 2014

English 2010 Portfolio

Rebecca Miner

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Introduction

This portfolio has three papers that I wrote for my English 2010 class. These ones

I chose because they vary in their topic and they vary in my interests. They show who I

am. I don’t add lots of personal exposition or personal views in them, but these topics

mean a lot to me because of the impact that they have had on my life.

Proposal: Improving Health One Company at a Time (pg. 4-13)

This is something that I love to talk about. I am completely fascinated by

the human body. I also know that taking care of our bodies can be a hard

thing. Here I have a proposal for businesses to improve the health care of

their employees by providing information on what the major health

problems that people face, and how to overcome them.

Evaluation: Iron & Wine’s Evolution Through Ghost on Ghost (pg. 14-17)

Music has always been a big part of my life. That is why I wanted to do

an evaluation of one of my favorite artists. I wanted to show how he has

evolved as an artist. I wanted to evaluate his abilities as a musician to

show that he truly is an artist.

Position: The Evolving Use of Slang in Gaming (pg. 18-23)

I’ve always loved playing video games. I have always been amazed at the

culture that exists between gamers. I wanted to explore this culture and

prove that it does exist. I wanted to show that this type of culture exists

because of the way they act but especially by how they speak one to

another.

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Peer Review (pg. 24-28)

This is a peer review I did of a classmate’s paper. This particular paper

was about the use of the n-word. I thought it was an interesting topic and

looked through the paper to see how she was able to talk about the concern

of using the n-word.

I have been someone that has always loved writing. I love a good story. I love

writing and telling those stories. I love learning something new and telling other people

and writing is one way to do that. I’ve never been good at writing for a specific theme or

very specific details. I have enjoyed this class because I was given some parameters of

what to write about and then I was told to have at it. I was grateful for this because it

showed me what I was able to do. It helped me to see that I could write about different

topics or similar topics in different ways. This class helped me to like writing more.

Through these assignments, they helped me to be able to share my interests with others.

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Improving Health One Company at a Time

In our world there are many health problems. The most well known of these

problems are cardiovascular or heart problems, obesity, and diabetes. These problems

are actually linked and cause or are caused by the other. Then what is to be done about

them? We can’t exactly cure them. However we are able to manage these problems and

their symptoms. In fact we are able to mostly prevent these kinds of problems from

taking over our lives or the lives of those that we love. But then the big question is how?

One of the best ways to improve the overall health of our society is exercise, specifically

running. By teaching about the benefits of running/exercise in school and work by a

personal trainer or a health advisor assigned there to help people make personal health

plans and goals, the health in or society will improve.

Health Problems

Before shooting this idea down entirely in skepticism and thinking that it’s not

necessary, think about it. If a company cared about it’s employees would it not want

them to be healthy? This would mean lower health insurance costs for the company and

for the employee. According to a Health Insurance Cost Statistic $2.54 trillion dollars

was spent on health care in 2010[7] while about $444 billion of that was spent on

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cardiovascular disease.[5] If so much money is spent on health care each and every year

would it not be in the best interest of the individual and also a company to find a better

use for that money? With this idea they both don’t have to shell out lots of money for a

health problem that could have been prevented.

Then the next order to getting rid of skepticism is understanding the problem then

how a personal trainer could help to overcome that problem. Overweight and obesity

affect many people. To be exact, more than two-thirds (68.5%)[4] of US adults and about

a third (31.8%)[4] of US children are affected by overweight and obesity. Well being

overweight isn’t too bad and obesity is something that’s not life-threatening you may

think. In all actuality they are can be life-threatening. Some of the symptoms that come

up because of these problems are coronary heart disease, Type 2 diabetes, cancers

(endometrial, breast, and colon), hypertension (high blood pressure), stroke, and

osteoarthritis (a breakdown of cartilage and bone within a joint)[2] to name a few.

The next major problem that needs to be understood is cardiovascular disease.

The major problems that arise from cardiovascular disease are:

coronary artery disease

heart attacks.

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Coronary artery disease is when a substance called plaque, which is made of cholesterol,

builds up in the arteries which supply blood to the heart. When it gets so blocked up that

no blood is being carried to that part of the heart is when we get heart attacks and that

part of the heart dies. About 600,000 people die of heart disease in the United States

every year–that’s 1 in every 4 deaths.[3]

With these health issues in the world and especially as they affect us in our nation

we are generally concerned about them. Most people want to be healthy they just may

not know how. People every year make resolutions to be healthier by working out and

eating right. However how many people actually can’t get past the first week or don’t

even start. Therefore what is to be done? That is why this proposal came to be. If we

were able to implement health advisors into companies in order to help their employees

to be healthier the health in the nation would change.

What to do?

Think about it. What if the company or business that you would work for actually

wanted you to be healthy? They in no way would require it. Your health or how healthy

you are would in no way affect you being hired or fired. However they would provide a

way for you to be healthy. They would provide incentives for you to keep working out

and eating healthily.

Now you may say that you have no time for working out, or that you don’t have

enough money to eat healthily. However that is a lie that you tell yourself. According to

the American Heart Association you only need about 30 minutes of exercise a day for 5

days of the week.[1] That shouldn’t take too much of your time. That’s just sacrificing a

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little bit of TV time or a little bit of time you would be munching down on snacks. There

is a way to be healthy and these health advisors would be one of those ways.

Running: The Way to a Healthy Heart

As an example of the power that working out and eating healthy we can look at is

the benefits that running can have in a person’s life. The American College of Sports

Medicine Position Statement on Exercise is a document they produce every few years

that goes over all of the health information for food and exercise. They stated recently

that:

[It] was shown in one study that individuals who ran more than 50 miles

per week had significantly greater increases in HDL cholesterol (the good

fat) and significantly greater decreases in body fat, triglyceride levels, and

the risk of coronary heart disease than individuals who ran less than 10

miles per week. In addition, the long-distance runners had a nearly 50%

reduction in high blood pressure and more than a 50% reduction in the use

of medications to lower blood pressure and plasma cholesterol levels.[8]

In short this is saying that running greatly helps the heart to be healthier. You in no way

need to run 50 miles a week to get these benefits though. These are just the results from

the study on people who were running that distance. One of the primary benefits of

running is cardiovascular health. It has even been shown in studies to reduce the amount

of plaque that can build up in those arteries.[6] So then why not run?

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Eating Right: How to Lose Weight

The other thing to look at with running is how it affects weight and eating. Running

burns lots of calories. It has been proven time and again in studies to burn lots of

calories. Richard Weil who is an exercise physiologist talked about running and losing

weight when he said, “But even if you ran a marathon every day, you wouldn't lose

weight unless you consumed fewer calories than you burned. The bottom line to losing

weight is burning more calories than you consume, no matter how much exercise you

do.”[8]

That is why the health advisors

would also be concerned about

your nutrition. They would be

there to make sure that you got the

right diet for the amount of

exercise that you were doing.

Now you might argue that you

don’t like running or that it’s hard

or that you’d rather walk. Weil

also commented on this when he

stated:

My take on it is that it doesn't matter whether you walk or run during

weight-loss efforts because you'll lose weight as long as you reduce your

calories enough to burn more than you are consuming, no matter how much,

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or what type of exercise you do. What is important is that you maintain

some type of exercise once you reach your goal weight, because it's

generally accepted that exercise is the single best predictor of keeping your

weight off. Whether you walk or run won't matter. The key is to do

something.[8]

There is the key. These health advisors would be here to help you to do something. In

the end it doesn’t matter what you do but you need to do something, and two of the best

ways to be healthier would be to have this health advisor and start running. They would

be there to make sure that you are reaching those health goals that you always give

yourself in every new years resolution. They’ll push you when you need it and keep you

on track. Imagine a good friend that you work with that is willing to help motivate you

and help you to be healthier. Don’t you want a friend like that?

Health Advisors

Part of their job would be to advise you. If you are comfortable they would be in

contact with your doctor. They would make a workout plan and diet that would work

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with your time, financial constraints, and whatever medical condition or problem that

comes up. Their job is to make you healthier. If you didn’t want them knowing that

information you could tell them what information you are comfortable sharing and they

would still work with you. Remember these people are here to help anybody and

everybody.

The requirements for this type of job would be high. They would need to get at

least a bachelor’s degree in exercise sciences or some similar field. This way they would

have an extensive knowledge about the human body, how it works, and how to best help

it. They would also be required to know many things about nutrition. This way they

could make competent decisions about a plan that could work for you to help you to be

healthier.

Company Incentives

There could also be many different incentives that come from the company or

business in association with this new health plan. Since the company and also the

employees are not paying such high insurance rates, with all the money that they are

saving they would be able to fund these health advisors/personal trainers. They would be

able to help raise wages for each employee of the company. It may not be a lot but every

little bit helps. If the company is noticing that this is really helping many of their

employees they could even be in connection with local gyms to provide memberships for

their employees. This way the employees have a place to work out if they really don’t

want to run. This could also include many other types of exercise such as swimming or

yoga. When a company would embrace this kind of idea they are saying that they care

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about their employees. They are saying that you matter to them. Your health matters to

them and they want you to be healthy.

Imagine this nation where we had businesses and companies that encouraged

people to be healthy. That with health advisors/personal trainers within these companies

they will help you to reach those health goals you’ve always wanted. They will help you

earn those wonderful health benefits from running. They can teach you and help you to

eat healthily and live better. This way your job or career feels like they are looking out

for you. That way you can live a healthy long life in order to be there for those that

matter to you.

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Bibliography

1. American Heart Association, “Recommendations for Physical Activity in Adults”, 14

Apr. 2014, Web 21 Apr. 2014

2. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: The Health Effects of Overweight and

Obesity. http://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/effects/index.html. 6 Dec. 2013

3. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: Heart Disease Facts

http://www.cdc.gov/heartdisease/facts.htm. 19 Feb. 2014

4. Food Research and Action Center: Overweight and Obesity in the US.

http://frac.org/initiatives/hunger-and-obesity/obesity-in-the-us/

5. Griffin, R. Morgan; Nazario, Brunilda. “Heart Disease: What Are the Medical

Costs?”, http://www.webmd.com/healthy-aging/features/heart-disease-medical-

costs. 1 Mar. 2013.

6. Smurawa, Troy M., “The Benefits Of Running”.

http://www.sgsd.k12.wi.us/homework/smurawas/benefits_of_running.htm

7. Statistic Brain, “Health Insurance Cost Statistics”, 19 Dec. 2013

8. Weil, Richard; Shiel, William C., Jr. “Running (Jogging)”, medicinenet.com, 9 Jan.

2014, Web. 15 Mar. 2014

Images

1. http://www.pt.com.sg/qws/slot/u50032/Personal%20Trainers/what-is-a-

personal-trainer.jpg

2. http://www.superhealthykids.com/uploads/files/10889/med/Choose-

MyPlate-Breakfast.jpg

3. http://moviewriternyu.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/runner.jpg

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4. http://medigap.s3.amazonaws.com/media/

GTY_heart_attack_jef_130906_16x9_992.jpg

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Iron & Wine’s Evolution Through Ghost on Ghost

Photo of Iron & Wine’s Album Ghost on Ghost

With all of the music in this world there are many people who look for artists who

really can actually sing, play instruments, and don’t just use auto-tune. Well world look

no further than the man and a band that has stirring vocals, captivating lyrics, and

outstanding instrumental skills that show that they are to be considered real artists. The

band is Iron & Wine who has released their latest album Ghost on Ghost.

This marks the fifth studio album that Iron & Wine has released for Sub Pop

records, an independent record label. The genre of music that Iron & Wine is most

associated with is folk or acoustic. You may not have heard Iron & Wine on the radio due

to the fact that they are an independent band. However that doesn’t mean that you

haven’t head their work as it has been featured in many various media forms. Some of

Iron & Wine’s more recognizable songs are the cover of The Postal Service’s Such Great

Heights and the song Flightless Bird American Mouth that was featured in the movie

Twilight. Iron and Wine’s music has appeared in commercials, on television shows

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(Grey’s Anatomy, House), in movies (In Good Company, Twilight, Garden State), as well

as for different charities. Iron and Wine frequently plays in the Twilight Concert Series

here in Salt Lake, which many people can come and enjoy. His music has been heard by

various different people in all these media forms, so anyone who has seen these movies,

television shows, or concerts, has heard his music. So if you haven’t heard of this band

then this is the time to listen in and become enamored by them.

Iron & Wine’s latest album Ghost on Ghost has many of the same elements that

his previous albums have had. Sam Beam is the lead singer, lead guitarist, and

songwriter. That is the same throughout all his albums. However now in this album he

takes a different step in what instruments he wants in each song. When he first began

performing solo, it was just him and the guitar. Now he has a whole band with him, full

of trumpet players, drums, sax players, bass, and back up vocals. But is all of that extra

stuff necessary for this album? He was good in other albums with just a normal band but

does he need the extras?

Photo of Sam Beam of Iron & Wine

To be blunt, Sam Beam really doesn’t need all the extras. They aren’t the things

that make the song what it is. His vocals and songwriting are what make his songs. Sam

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Beam does a lot of solo work and he is amazing at it. However in this album, with these

songs, all these instruments provide lush new experiences and a joy that is felt by their

presence. So as they are not necessary they are most certainly enjoyed, and definitely

something to look forward to.

Many of Iron & Wine’s fans had varying reactions and feelings for their last

album Kiss Each Other Clean because it featured many different instruments and had a

more pop feel to it. However with each of Iron & Wine’s albums he also likes to try new

genres of music. In the first album The Creek Drank the Cradle it was mainly acoustic.

Second came Our Endless Numbered Days, which had a more folk and some bluegrass

sound to it. In the third album The Shepherds’ Dog, it had more of an indie rock feel to

it. This just attests to how musically gifted that Sam Beam really is and that he is a

musical genius. He is able to write for all of these different genres and produce quality

music that makes you crave for more like a drug, or sooths the soul like a medicinal

salve.

With Ghost on Ghost, Iron & Wine continues that addiction. There are a few

songs like Grass Windows and Winter Prayers that sound like his wonderful acoustic

songs from albums past. Then Sam also gives a few different that have a more jazz or

blues feel to them such as Desert Babbler and Grace for Saints and Ramblers. But even

though these songs are a little different, Sam shows that he can make them work. But not

only that he makes them something that you want to hear again. With his wonderful

lyrics and unbelievably mesmerizing voice this is an album that doesn’t disappoint and is

something you’ll want to listen to again and again.

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Bibliography

Photos: http://pitchfork.com/news/49371-iron-wine-return-with-new-album-ghost-on-

ghost-share-new-track-lovers-revolution/

http://poprenegade.wordpress.com/2011/04/27/featureinterview-iron-and-wine/

-Here are the song links from the album Ghost on Ghost.

Desert Babbler: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DR_jh8_a-_Q

Grace for Saints and Ramblers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R12yl4oGzMY

-Here are some other songs that were mentioned in the article:

Flightless Bird American Mouth: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIHaNh3jRXg

Such Great Heights: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCYWymG9fSs

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The Evolving Use of Slang in Gaming

Gaming use to be viewed as just a past time, or if you were a parent trying to raise

kids, a complete waste of time. Now gaming has grown into a community that stretches

all over the world. With that global expansion the gaming community has developed

their own language, acronyms, and slang. With each new game, they introduce more

slang and more vocabulary to be used in the gaming community and you need to keep up

with most of it to understand some of the more hardcore gamers. If you want to better

understand as a parent what kind of games your kids play, or if you’re interested in

understanding the guys better on “The Big Bang Theory”, then you need to understand

the lingo of gamers.

There are many things that must be understood in the gaming community to

understand it’s language and one of them is its history. There were a few games before

it, but the game and console that is attributed with the beginning success of video games

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is Atari’s Pong. From that many arcade games sprung up, followed by computer games,

which then led to video game consoles (Nintendo Entertainment System-NES,

PlayStation). Gamers are proud of their history. They are proud that something as

simple as a table tennis game like Pong could develop into a grand community that

eventually led to games such as Super Mario Bros. or Call of Duty. It’s almost like

being part of a brotherhood (or sisterhood to the girl gamers out there).

In a recent survey done on 1,100 young people between the ages of twelve to

seventeen, they found out that around 97 percent of those young people surveyed play

video games.[2] It also wasn’t just boys, but girls too. This has created something very

interesting to look at. This community of video gamers is composed of people boys and

girls that play these games. What is also amazing is that these gamers don’t just play by

themselves. They are actually playing to include others and to interact with other players.

The survey was able to find that, “they don't just play by themselves. Nearly two-thirds

play video games to socialize face-to-face with friends and family, while just over a

quarter said they play with Internet friends.”[2] From this we can see that gaming and

gamers in general is suppose to be a community thing where they are interacting and

communicating with one another.

Therefore you must understand some of the most basic words or phrases used to

make sense of it all. Parents wanting to know what’s going on with their kid’s games

would probably also like a translator to help in their understanding. This list will help

just a little in your beginning education in Gaming Lingo 1010. The rest comes from

experience and figuring it out as you go along. These come from personal experience as

well as looking at lists that have the most popular words used. This language adds more

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and more as new games are introduced, so it’s not enough to just look at one short list

and say it’s enough. It might change in a month to a year.

The most common words, phrases or acronyms that I’ve come across are n00b

(Noob), RPG and MMORPG, WoW, Teabagging, Pwned, and Easter Eggs.[1][3]

Remember these are the most basic of parts of their language that you might hear. Noob,

n00b or you might even see newb is just a simple way of saying a newbie. It’s to

acknowledge someone that’s new to gaming or just that game. They may feel that they

are picked on because they are new, but they are just trying to get use to a new game and

the experienced gamers are helping in their own weird and loving way.

RPG and MMORPG refer to games that are Role Playing Games and Massive

Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games. It’s the type of games like WoW (World of

Warcraft) where you level up your character in the game after getting so much

experience. So you can understand how distraught someone might be if they’ve spent a

lot of time leveling up their character only to have that data corrupted or deleted. It feels

like those past 50+hours of gaming were a waste. So be kind to these gamers when such

things happen. It’s a rather devastating feeling.

The next two go well with each other. Teabagging and Pwned. Pwned was just a

misspelling of the word owned and it just stuck. So when you see that someone got

pwned you can better understand that they just lost….big time. The next one is rather

crude and an action this writer does not engage in. Teabagging refers to crouching

repeatedly in FPS games over the person you just killed. It’s to show that someone just

got pwned and is rather immature. So parents if you ever hear that your kids talking

about teabagging wash their mouths out with soap. It’s rather disgusting.

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Now with any community (especially an online community) there are certain

rules with grammar. With the gaming community…there really isn’t rules on grammar.

Some people post or say any nonsensical thing that either pops into their head or

accidentally comes on screen. So how can anyone make sense of this stuff? When

you’re playing an FPS (first person shooter, think Call of Duty) are you concerned with

what someone has said and trying to make sense of it? Or are you more worried about

getting shot in the next 5 seconds because you weren’t paying attention?

Not understanding what the lingo is when playing with other human beings could lead to

frustration because someone just killed you (figuratively of course). There is however an

official language of gaming and it’s called Leet (which could also be written as l33t or

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1337). It is alphanumeric, meaning it consists of letters and numbers, and that’s probably

why it looks so darn confusing.

Lastly the easiest to talk about is Easter Eggs. Easter Eggs are those little hidden

gems in video games. Think of at the end of all Marvel movies they have a post credit

scene that shows something happening in the next movie. That is an Easter Egg. So

when a gamer shouts for joy at finding an Easter Egg you can understand their joy.

From these examples you can see that video games have built up a community.

They have their own culture, their own language, and their own way of including you, or

humiliating you. Anyone, whether you’re a nOOb, an experienced gamer, or a parent

wondering what kind of games that your kids are playing, can join this community. You

can understand in part their language. You can understand why it changes so much. By

understanding these things you can see that video gamers are quite a complex group of

people that interact with one another. By understanding these things you can understand

how their world and language change constantly.

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Sources:

1. http://community.us.playstation.com/t5/PlayStation-Lounge/Gaming-Slang-and-

Sayings-Over-100-Words/td-p/10022149

2. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/09/16/survey-97-percent-of-

chil_n_126948.html

3. http://voices.yahoo.com/gamers-guide-common-words-phrases-lingo-used-

5536497.html

4. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_hzvZWV2TnTo/S78UmdHYP5I/AAAAAAAAAEA/

_flr7nRJw2E/s1600/video-games-education.jpg

5. http://addictionblog.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/why-do-people-play-video-

games-2.jpg

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PEER REVIEW by Sean Fullmer

Jessica Brown

April 7, 2014

The N-Word in Rap Music

Is the N-word in rap music a cause for concern among all races? The use of the N-

word in rap music is not only a reflection of the music business, but also a reflection of

society as a whole. This is more than an issue of color. More than if someone is black or

white. It’s an issue of what’s right and how to move forward. In order to understand what

is right, we must first understand the true meaning of the N-word and what it was

originally used for.

The African-American Registry gave a pretty thorough rundown of how the N-

word came to be. Here’s what they said:

The history of the word nigger is often traced to the Latin word niger, meaning

Black. This word became the noun, Negro (Black person) in English, and simply

the color Black in Spanish and Portuguese. In early modern French, niger became

negre and, later, negress (Black woman) was unmistakably a part of language

history. One can compare to negre the derogatory nigger and earlier English

substitutes such as negar, neegar, neger, and niggor that developed into its lexico-

semantic true version in English. It is probable that nigger is a phonetic spelling

of the White Southern mispronunciation of Negro.

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It wasn’t long into the early 1800’s when the word had become known as vulgar and

derogatory. It’s important to look at what was going on around this time in order to truly

understand the word’s use. America—and in particular the South—was full blown into

slavery and was starting to become a global powerhouse in the financial world in large

part because of the detainment of Africans. There was no reason to the use the N-word in

this era unless there was a negative meaning behind it.

Fast-forward to today, and the N-word still carries the same negative

connotations, but the majority of people saying it look like who the word is intended to

disrespect. This is referring to African-Americans. The race has largely accepted its harsh

terms and decided to take ownership of the word and turn it into something positive, but

with one exception: They and only they are allowed to use the N-word without being

considered racist. Wait a second…this seems like a bit of a double-standard, right?

Fully accepting the ridiculously harsh meaning and history of the word is the

perfect step for moving forward as a society—not just as African-Americans. But at the

same time, if we’re all going to look at the word as one of the most vicious in the English

language, then shouldn’t we all take responsibility in not using it?

Luvell Anderson wrote a piece in which he tries to explain why African-

Americans are “allowed” to use the word. Anderson, an African-American himself, had

this to say:

I think that slurs are prohibited terms whose occurrences are offensive. When

enough people (or the right person or persons) say a word is not appropriate for

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referring to a particular group, then that word becomes a slur. However, the

prohibition is not absolute. It does allow for some exceptions. Among those

exceptions are non-derogatory uses by members of the targeted group.

Immediately we can see why African Americans (and certain others) can use the

N-word for camaraderie purposes while non-African Americans typically cannot.

It is just built into the exception clause that the former can and the latter cannot.

The most troubling phrase of Anderson’s excerpt is how he randomly brings in an

“exception clause” that makes it okay for African-American’s to use the N-word, but not

white people. Bringing in a random and completely made up clause to justify the use of

this word for one race and not the other is, well to put it bluntly, ridiculous. Anybody

could come up with a “clause” that makes it okay for white people to use the word and it

would be shot down faster than a blink.

The debate following the N-word is big enough, but adding in how it’s used in rap

music pushes the subject to a whole new level. One of the driving factors of this is how

the majority of rappers are African-American, but the majority of listeners are actually

white (Mills, 2001). This might sound surprising at first, but consider the fact that there

are significantly more white people than African-Americans in the United States and it

begins to make sense. Combine this fact with the ever-increasing use of the N-word in

rap music and it’s easy to start to see the problem. Take a look at this example for

instance.

Rapper, YG, recently came out with a song titled, “My Nigga.” This song says the

N-word 115 times. No, that’s not a typo. It uses the word 115 times in three minutes and

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56 seconds. It would be one thing if barely anybody heard the song, but this song peaked

at No. 19 on the Billboard charts, meaning that it became incredibly popular in American

music. If most of the people hearing it are white, then it’s almost impossible to expect all

of them to not say the same words when singing along with the song. The problem is that

most African-Americans would probably have a problem with hearing a white person say

the N-word 115 times in less than four minutes. If it’s such a problem for white people to

use it, then it needs to be as big of a problem for African-Americans to use it.

I’m a young white woman myself and in no way support the use of the word,

however, am a very big fan of rap music. The N-word is arguably the vilest word to ever

have been created, yet it’s somehow made an emergence among American culture, but

it’s now primarily coming from African-Americans. We as a society need to remember

why the word was looked at in such a negative light from the beginning in order to get

back to seeing the word in that way. If we’re unable to do that, then the number of people

using the N-word across all races will continue to grow and rap music is the driving force

behind it.

Fullmer 27

Peer Review 1. This is a very interesting paper. Your topic really grabs people from the start.

Anything that has to do with race and especially the n-word makes for a bold topic. Good on ya. It really grabbed me the second I read the heading. Then the intro helped me to see what you were trying to argue.

2. As I understand it your thesis and position come from that second paragraph where you stated, “The use of the N-word in rap music is not only a reflection of the music business, but also a reflection of society as a whole.”

3. You had many points that were very logical and thought provoking as mentioned in the comments. Your points on the history of the n-word, the double-standard and the exception clause helped to prove your point and shut down arguments against your point.

4. Your persuasion was really good because you explained things well and helped me to see your point of view. I wasn’t guessing as to what you were really trying to say.

5. The voice I felt in this paper was one that was fun, concerned, and informative. You voiced your concern; you were fun and not just droll with the topic; it was interesting to read because of the information provided. You used good sources to back up your points and establish your voice more.

6. Your pathos was good. It seemed hidden at first but as I reread your paper I found it. Every time you describe the n-word it is usually a very hate filled word such as vilest, vulgar, and derogatory. These words helped to show your hate and that was good. There needed to be that feeling of hate in this topic for this word if we could ever see any change with it.

7. I liked your conclusion in how it summed up everything. You put forth the idea that this word needs to leave our vocab and why. You also point out if we don’t stop it, it’s going to continue to grow through rap music. Very good points to make in your conclusion. This also helped to remind me of how much I hate this word too.

Fullmer 28