The WaReFaRe

TaBaLoiD

Team Publications extends their gratitude and best

regards to you guys. It was pleasant to see your

bright faces turning up so early in the morning all

dressed up and radiant; though what was even

pleasant was to spy on you guys, extracting the

juicing bits from your cabinets and all the clums

and clutz happening in the committee *evil laugh*

. We hope you enjoy and relive the moments from

the past week. See you next year ^_^

Happy Reading,

Regards,

Rabia Faraz

Noor Us Saba Tauqeer (Batman)

Sarah Rasheed (God sent Savior)

TEAM PUBLICATIONS

OPENING CEREMONY

The opening ceremony started the

same way every successful event starts:

with the recitation of the Holy Quran

and of course, the National Anthem.

This was followed by a blast from the

past of the previous Cabinet Wars and

the theme of the current one presented

by our two amazing hosts: Hunain Ze

Bullet Theba and Rabia Faraz.

The advisor and former President of

Cabinet Wars Kamil Shoukat who

surprising did not take a lot of time on-

stage like the last time (thank you very

much Monsieur) was up next - and with

his brief but concise opinion, paved the

way for the rap-of-the-decade: all

thanks to Ze Bullet, who took it upon

himself to introduce our President like

no President has ever been introduced

before (you-can't-see-me, yo). The

Director General Haider, sombre and

sober as a man could ever be (to be, or

not to be?), was completely

overshadowed by Secretary General

Aqib Khalique: whose address was to

become the talk of the town. Aqib

Khalique therefore assumed the mantle

of victor, and beat not only the Advisor, the President, the Director

General - but all three of them combined when it came to speaking.

And although the Chief Guest didn't show up - Monsieur Khalique

made sure he spoke for all the absentees as well, pulling a publicity

stunt marketing is event that we would not name here *because he

refused to pay us* no ka-ching , no advert Aqib. And well forgot to

use the secretary general privilege of opening the debate. Kamil

Shoukat then announced the debate open - and then we let the

games begin, may the odds be ever in your favor, sirs.

TOUR de CABINETS

Lt.General Rizwan continued to enchant the crowd with

his deep urdu poetry everytime he stood up to speak.

Ironically there was a constant disagreement between

Imran Khan and Tahirul Qadri and ironically Imran khan

was seen comfortably socializing with Nawaz Shareef

(Imran khan we suggest you get your priorities straight)

Moving on, General Raheel Shareef who declared

operation against Taliban to which, as a reaction, Taliban

sends out a warning in the form of three dead bodies of

students, providing the army and government an

incentive to fulfill the Taliban’s motives. Choudary Nisar,

the interior minister, agreeing with chief of army staff’s

stance on unity against terrorists, clarifies the stance of

government, stating, “We will not attack the kids of the

terrorists but we will attack the terrorists.”

INQUILABI CONTAINER

In the Inquilabi Container, at the intense

dispute as to whether Imran Khan should

finish his protest, Imran Khan confessed

enthusiastically, “Humne khuwateen aur

bacho ko isliye agey rakha takey mujhe koi

pathar na maaray”.

ISLAMIC RATIONAL

CABINET

In the Islamic Rationale Cabinet, the male chair’s

appearance happened to fit the committee quiet

right. This committee was reminded again and

again to strictly refrain from stepping into any

religiously grey area. Yousuf al Qaradawi while

making his point eagerly, unknowingly masked his

nervousness opening and closing his kurta buttons

while walking around the cabinet. Mr.Mian Ebad

shadowed as ISIS and oh-so-easily managed to

show everyone the rational side of suicide bombing

in Islam and everyone seemed quiet convinced kind

of burying the whole point of the existence of

committee to rectify the perspective about Islam in

the west. Very well display of diplomacy Mr.Mian,

we are impressed. The male

ACD of this

committee was

probably the most

co-operative of all

and not to mention

cute ;)

WEC was a constant struggle on finding an alternative energy source which quite honestly is a harder task than it sounds. The male chair of the committee apparently enjoyed torturing the poor delegates; first by shadowing as CUBA, bashing USA and later on by wanting to speakers in favor AND against the SUSPENSION of debate. To our surprise some delegates tried to impress him by being against the suspension (nice tactics delegate, we must say). Though for the female chair of the committee, we personally found her cuddly and cute ;) Mr. Theba yet again impressed us not by his rap but his willpower of rapping the same couplet in every committee. North Korea and Australia got into a heated discussion (to put it nicely). Two more minutes and there would’ve been a war declared. Whereas Canada was downright bored throughout and was seen texting even through the entertainment session The delegate of Russia was usually under the spotlight a source of entertainment and why wouldn’t he be, not everyone is bold enough to except accept not knowing the difference between Access and excess.

He was declared the most clueless delegate by the chair throughout the committee always inquiring what was said after it had been said. Cabinet Wars Day-III began with the same rigorous debating sessions, preceded by an impressive display of decorum. At the World Energy Council (WEC), the debating period resumed as a sporadically agreed moderated caucus was observed on the floor, on the topic “Nuclear and other possible renewable resources”. Rushing in late, the delegate of Czech Republic arrives, right on cue, owning the floor to himself. He, oblivious of the situation, requests a moderated caucus, to which the chair ever so politely informs, “Good Morning, Czech Republic, it is a moderated caucus”. As the session continued, moving on to the possible reasons as to why Israel doesn’t allow IAEA inspections, an anonymous chit arrives to the chair requesting to be added to the general speakers list. The ACDs of MADCAPS made a guest appearance in the committee and not to our surprise Russia owing to the partial hearing impairment could not hear them in spite of a mic.

WORLD ENERGY COUNCIL

Day one for the Iraqi Special Tribunal started off with the original chairs nowhere to be seen, but the delegates were lucky enough to have Mr. Theba as the new chair who brought life to the committee. This committee had quite a serious matter which was the trial of Saddam Hussein. Despite of the serious matter in focus the delegates still managed to make us roll on the floor laughing with their amusing remarks on Saddam Hussein, we would like to share some with you below: Delegate: Saddam Hussain is like Altaf hussain, he would order attacks on Iraq from a US prison over a phone call. Other absurd remarks that this committee had about Saddam Hussein were, from him being mentally disabled to using nuclear weapon for attacks. Some delegates were agitated enough to want to kill Saddam Hussein there and then. (Woah!! hold you horses there kids). During the entertainment session we were impressed by Mr.Hunain theba’s background sound effects of a parrot while a delegate told a joke, though nothing beats your Raps Mr.Theba. Jalal Talabani pulled of an amusing mimicry of the chairs

IRAQI SPECIAL TRIBUNAL

of the two (Admanay we stil think you are cuter than strawberry shortcake) another chit read, "Yaar, kya peetay ho jo itnay lambay ho?" Complan, maybe? Or . . . not? This, however, overshadows it all: Chair: All those wishing to speak please raise you placard. *no one raises their placard* ACD changes tactics: All those NOT wishing to speak, raise your placard. *no one still raises there placcard* Chair: Na jeena hai na marna hai karna kya hai? Let me guess: dharna?!

At the Mutually Assured Destruction Capping Summit (MADCAPS), there was this one chair that could be spotted from a distance with the giant headphones dangling around his neck, he just could not get enough of his music. Delegate of Iran, your 4 second gap after every word in speech made our reporter write about it in strive for staying awake. Whereas the delegate of North Korea was so active that he moved more than he spoke orbiting the table every time he stands up was his unique skill The debating session revolved around the tensions between Saudi Arab and Israel, the delegate of Greece justly stated in his point of motion about focusing on resolving the issues. The chair responded in his rather gratefully sarcastic tone, thanking the delegate for the enlightening comment. The session propelled and the debates sustained, ultimately reaching to a unanimous decision, as the self-fulfillment of clause 4a was observed. At the voting session, Pakistan heaved a sigh before voting a “yes”.

MASS DESTRUCTION CAPPING SUMMIT

This cabinet had the honor of hosting the exceptionally enthusiastic, high pitched and loud debaters of Iraqi Special Tribunal though the dais of SRCC where not so amused by the avid debater; The committee had a blend of categories of individuals from clueless delegates of Yemen and Qatar; the ACD with a striking resemblance to Tom Cruise ; the sizzling hot delegates of Brazil and Russia to the delegate who was literally made-in-China: yes, the delegate of China, whose smile was so constant and incessant that he was told by the chair, "This guy would smile even when declaring a war." Oh well, one can never tell with the Chinese. The delegate of China was still smiling when the ACD got down on one knee and proposed the delegate of U.S.A. Admanay was compared with strawberry shortcake - a chit questioned who was shorter

SYRIAN REFUGEE CRISIS CABINET

After the voting, the much awaited entertainment session began, many anonymous chits were passed on to chairs to be read aloud. The best picks included, a request to North Korean delegate to act like Kim Jong Wu, duo dance request for delegates of Russia and Canada, a question out of possible perplexity that why the Iraq guy looked drunk, a modest request to the “cute” delegate of Greece to confess his love to anyone in the room. With the chairs imitation the rather tantalizing manner of debating of delegate of North Korea and recalling of a past experience of a fellow delegate of Belgium’s fairly comical mode of rhetoric, the third day and final sessions of Cabinet Wars finally came to an end.

EPIC FAILS N FIASCOS

Imran Khan; who apparently

had had enough of the

debate stood up saying “Jaldi

dharna khatam kro mjhe

shadi bhi krni

hai ”

Delegate: We already have

an interim government, if

we have another one what

would be the fun in it. (It’s

not supposed to be FUN

delegate)

Chair (Kamil): The

chits should not be

derogatory. If it IS

insulting make sure

it is creative.

Someone stated that the

conference is “Golgappa”

and the delegates are

“pani”; we don’t quite get

the analogy though.

The epicly failed

attempt at diplomacy

was Israel supporting

Pakistan over a

plutonium crisis.

We would like to

share the hidden

artistic side of

Mr.Hunain Theba

since we managed to

get our hands on

one of his magnum

opus.

Homophobic, Fatwa

unleashing delegate of KSA at

MADCAPS kept of chanting

Astaghfirullah and stating

Gay-ism as haram after Russia

knelt down in front of the

delegate of UK begging him to

“shake that god-gifted booty”

A referendum was held

on whether to keep

ACD of WEC Ali Khattak

in the committee, the

outcome was ruled not

in favor of the ACD by

2/3rd majority (don’t

worry ACD Khattak we

still love you)

The chair at MACAPS

sang and by sang we

mean “wailed” a song,

forcing the committee to

stuff their ears; scaring

them for eternity or even

beyond.

The delegate of Saudi Arabia

claimed his "phone was

coming." When the Chair

asked him if his phone had

"come," he didn't quite get

the pun. . . (We hope you SIT

on Facebook to read this

delegate)

People in the IRAQI special

tribunal kept on giving

references and analogies of

PAKISTAN (own your

committee delegates)

Reza Aslan from

IRC was having a

hard time raising

his placard

straight and we

have a picture to

prove that.

Delegate of USA wanted

to ask United States of

America why it is relying

on AIDS (all we have to

say here is “aray kehna

kya chahtey ho”)

Chair to Delegate of

Russia: Have you

conducted fission

experiments, on

advancements of nuclear

technology

Delegate of Russia:

What? Fishing?

SOCIAL EVENTS BRIEFING Despite of the city wide shutdown, Team Cabinet Wars still

managed to pull of great social event. Special thanks to PAF KIET

Drama Society for the theatrics and a tribute stage

drama.Indeed *tumhain MUN bhuljani paray gi kabhi Cabinet

Wars main akar tw dekho*

Just when we thought the remarkable yet tiring first day could

not get any better, the movie under the open sky and refreshing

cold breeze revitalized the worn-out delegates and team.

The second social event was a well-earned dance party after

pulling of a tiring event. The DJ turned up the volume and

people were seen drowning into it as everyone pooled into the

dance floor and danced their hearts out.

CLOSING CEREMONY The Closing ceremony started off with the recitation of the

holy Quran and delegates were seen silently saying their

prayers, restlessly waiting for the awards to be announced.

After the usual Executive body speeches and the

achievement award distribution among the Executive body,

Secretariat and the directorate; finally it was time to

announce the delegate awards, it was pleasant seeing the

faces of the winning delegates as their friends screech and

cheered for them. .

*Congratulations to all those who won and for those who

didn’t there is always next time, you guys are still our

winners*

With that and a whole lot of memories and of course a

gazillion photographs; Cabinet Wars 2.0 came to an end.