NEWS AND CULTURE NEWSPAPER FOR THE STUDENTS OF KWANTLEN POLYTECHNIC UNIVERSITYNEWS AND CULTURE NEWSPAPER FOR THE STUDENTS OF KWANTLEN POLYTECHNIC UNIVERSITY

vol. 1 issue 8 | June 16, 2009

vol. 1 issue 8 | June 16, 2009 | page twoNews & Politics

OTTAWA (CUP) – Following a count ruling, on May 25 the federal cabinet announced that

licensed medical marijuana grow-ers are now able to increase the number of patients they supply.

Licensed growers can now supply to two patients as op-posed to one.

The change from cabinet came in response to a federal court

Licensed marijuana growers allowed to increase supply

ruling the previous year that opposed the limit of marijuana producers to one licensed patient.

With the regulations as they were previously, Island Harvest – an organic marijuana company – was restricted to one patient per licensed employee, despite hun-dreds of alternative requests from approved marijuana users.

As the approved requests were denied, thousands of patients were forced to buy the product illegally, which was determined to be a violation of constitutional rights.

Melissa Fraser/The Runner

Judge suggests SFSS hold another referendum over CFS split

BURNABY (CUP) – After nearly 13 months and four court cases, the decision of whether or not the Simon Fraser Student Society’s referendum to leave the Cana-dian Federation of Students was legal, is still undecided.

The court case resumed last Monday and Tuesday at the Supreme Court of British Colum-bia after the case was originally presented in February, and the judge failed to come to a decision. Similar to the rst court case, the judge still had not come to a con-clusion at the end of the two-day period.

Both the CFS and the SFSS lawyers used the time to reinforce the arguments made in February in front of the court.

The legitimacy of the refer-endum, held on March 18 to 20, 2008, is in question, as is the petition by the SFSS to have the referendum results recognized. The CFS is also demanding the payment of $430,000 in member-ship fees.

On the second day, one of the main issues in front of the courts was if the case was suitable for a ruling on an 18A. An 18A would allow the judge to make a deci-

sion based on the evidence before him.

The SFSS wanted the 18A because they “wanted [the court case] determined,” claimed SFSS lawyer Susan Coristine. “The stu-dents need to know, they need to know where their fees are going. There needs to be a resolution.”

Coristine presented her posi-tions, taking up the greater half of the eight-hour long court case. First, she claimed the bylaws dur-ing the 1995 CFS Annual General Meeting were not enacted be-cause they did not have quorum at the meeting. She claimed, “[the] validity of [the] bylaws were vague.”

CFS lawyer Martin Palleson argued that Derrick Harder, the SFSS president at the time, received proof of the bylaws at-tached to documents from Titus Gregory, a former SFSS politician. The letters contained Gregory’s af davits, which referred to the bylaws in the 1995 CFS AGM, therefore proving the bylaws.

Her second position argued that the problems of the Refer-endum Oversight Committee, a body designated by the CFS to oversee the referendum, should not be a valid reason to overturn an entire referendum.

At the time of the referendum,

BY KENDRA WONGTHE PEAK (SFU)

the CFS did not want the refer-endum to coincide with the SFSS elections, and since the referen-dum date should be established before the creation of the Refer-endum Oversight Committee, they had no jurisdiction over the dates.

While the validity of the referendum was the centre of the February court cases, the CFS de-cided to focus their attention on the last application – the unpaid membership fees that continue to be collected by the SFSS.

The CFS lawyers’ most ag-gressive argument claimed that if the SFSS thought the referen-dum was valid, why were they still collecting fees on behalf of the CFS? They want to “recover the funds from that time period [after the referendum] to the present, in which the SFSS is still collecting the fees.”

The CFS lawyers further argued that under the University Act, it is not the responsibility of the SFSS to collect the money on behalf of the CFS – it is the job of the university, meaning the SFSS has no power to collect the membership fees.

Depending on the outcome of the case, the funds collected by the university will either be dis-tributed to the SFSS or the CFS.

BY KAITLAN DENNENY THE CORD WEEKLY (WLU)

Changes made to Ontario student fi nancial assistanceBY LINDA GIVETASHTHE CORD WEEKLY (WLU)

WATERLOO (CUP) – John Mil-loy, Ontario’s Minister of Train-ing, Colleges and Universities, announced earlier this month that the province will see changes to its Distance & Textbook and Technology Grants, available to Ontario post-secondary students. The new requirements only permit students who qualify and receive the Ontario Student Assis-tance Program (OSAP) to receive the grants.This decision was made in light of the provincial budget released in March, which takes the world’s current economic situation into account.“We are going through some pretty extraordinary economic times,” said Milloy during a conference call with the Canadian student media.With the new change to the grants, the provincial govern-ment will save just over $100 million.In addition to the requirement changes for the grants, the gov-ernment will not be increasing the amount given. Originally, the Textbook and Technology Grant was meant to increase to $250 per

student annually as of the fall 2009.“The Textbook and Technol-ogy Grant will continue at the $150 level, we will not be able to increase it,” said Milloy.Saad Aslam, chair of the Wilfrid Laurier University Students’ Union board of directors, ex-pressed his concern for students whose families have been af-fected by the recession.“There are a number of students whose parents may have lost jobs.... If they lost their jobs in May or over the summer they wouldn’t be eligible for OSAP.”Aslam, who has also been in-volved with the Ontario Univer-sity Students Alliance (OUSA) and the Canadian Alliance of Students Association (CASA), is concerned with ensuring that post-secondary education is ac-cessible to all students regardless of their nancial situation.The effects that the grant changes will have on students will not be clear until the fall. They do, however, re ect the impact of the economic crisis on funding for post-secondary education.“We quite frankly don’t have all the resources that we thought we had,” said Minister Milloy.

Feature: Is this the end of Canadian peacekeeping?

TORONTO (CUP) – Ray Kok-konen, along with his fellow veterans, marks national holidays by donning his blue beret, deco-rating his chest with polished medals and proudly marching in a long, winding column through the streets of Saint John, New Brunswick.

Peacekeeping is a central part of Kokkonen’s identity. He believes the same holds true for Canada.

As president of the Canadian Peacekeeping Veterans’ Associa-tion, Kokkonen has seen rst-hand just how important peace-keeping is to Canadian veterans and the pleasure they derive from their service.

“People are very, very proud of it,” said Kokkonen. “It’s an honour to wear the blue beret.”

This pride is shared by many Canadians. It stems from a long

history of heavy involvement in United Nations peacekeeping that, over the years, has become Canada’s trademark in the inter-national community. In the last 60 years, Canada has contributed over 120,000 troops, taken part in nearly every UN peacekeep-ing mission and, along the way, earned respect both at home and abroad.

But Canada’s generosity seems to have run its course in recent years. Only 126 Canadians are currently on UN peacekeeping missions, according to the most recent available UN data. Canada, once a major contributor of troops, has dropped to 55th place on the list, and now lags behind France, the United States and the United Kingdom.

“Canada has always provided relatively huge numbers for UN peacekeeping operations, and we are now down to a busload,” said Joan Broughton, Public Informa-tion Of cer at the United Nations

Association of Canada.The Canadian government

acknowledged that the UN is in sore need of troops when Ambas-sador John McNee, Permanent Representative of Canada to the United Nations, addressed the Security Council in January. But McNee made no promises to contribute troops.

“We must be cognizant of the strengths, but also the limits of peacekeeping operations, and only mandate those missions that have reasonable prospects of achieving results,” said McNee. “The international community must be realistic about what is achievable within the resources we are willing or able to pro-vide.”

Instead of pouring the major-ity of military expertise into UN peacekeeping operations, as in the past, the Canadian govern-ment has opted to concentrate its resources in the NATO-led, UN-sanctioned operation in Afghani-

stan, where approximately 2,500 Canadian troops are currently deployed. The large-scale mission has drained Canada’s already limited army reserves and few troops are left for other commit-ments.

But although the operation in Afghanistan is not a peacekeep-ing mission by de nition, the Canadian government maintains that a commitment to peace un-derlies Canada’s involvement in the con ict.

“The fundamental commit-ment to peace and improving the lives of others remains a corner-stone of Canada’s foreign policy,” said McNee during his address and went on to say that Canada’s presence in Afghanistan is “a part of this commitment.”

In Broughton’s view, however, the mission in Afghanistan differs in that it does not ask troops to simply mediate but it requires them to actively end a con ict. As a result, Canada has left its

peacekeeping role behind for the much more contentious duties of a “peacemaker.”

“When you get involved in a situation like Afghanistan where there are signi cant political implications, you are clearly tak-ing one side over the other,” said Broughton. “Peacekeepers by de nition are neutral. They don’t take sides . . . and the fact that we have chosen to deploy most of our military forces into peace-making instead of peacekeep-ing is a choice we’ve made as to where we will put our focus.”

The Department of Foreign Af-fairs and International Trade did not comment on Canada’s cur-rent level of involvement in UN peacekeeping despite multiple invitations to do so.

It is not yet clear how Cana-da’s drawback from peacekeep-ing will affect national and inter-national public perception, but according to Broughton, Canada’s reputation has begun to suffer.

BY MARIANA IONOVARYERSON FREE PRESS

Hmmm I wonder if there is anything else I can privatize in this province...

vol. 1 issue 8 | June 16, 2009 | page three News & Politics

The Runner’s Contributor Meeting

Where: The Runner O! ce - #205-12877 76th Ave Surrey, BC

When: June 30, 4:00 p.m.

What: Come vote for editors, vote on contributor pay and get involved in Kwantlen"s student

newspaper!

Surrey Board of Trade Golf Tournament

WHERE: Morgan Creek Golf Course

WHEN: 12 p.m. - 7:45 p.m.

WHAT: Come watch Kwantlen’s President and his foursome take a swing on the greens.

Home Support Resident Care Attendant (HSRCA) Program Information Session

WHERE: Langley Campus - Room 2010

WHEN: 7 p.m. - 9 p.m.

WHAT: Learn more about the Home Support Resident Care Attendant (HSRCA) Program and see if it is right for you!

15th Annual Kaushal’s Kwantlen Klassik

WHERE: Mylora on Sidaway

WHEN: June 19

WHAT: Last year the tournament raised over $7000 for the Kaushal Kwantlen Klassik Scholarship, which now sits at over $66,000. For more information contact Patrick Duffy at 604.599.2550 or patrick.duffy@kwantlen.ca.

Senate Meeting

WHERE: Surrey Campus

WHEN: 4 p.m. - 7 p.m.

KSA River Rafting Trip

WHERE: Coquihalla River - Departs from Langley Campus

WHEN: 7 a.m.

WHAT: Join the KSA for an all day rafting trip that includes lunch and rafting equipment. Cost $120.

Langley Rotary - Tip ‘N Taste

WHERE: Cascades Casino - Coast Hotel and Convention Centre

WHEN: 7 a.m.

WHAT’S HAPPENING ATTHE KWANTLEN CAMPUSES

A new initiative, the Guildford Unique Essential Skills Training for Sales (GUESTS) program, seeks to help small retail business owners at Guildford Town Centre and their workers develop the skills that are essential to thriving not only in the current economy, but in the future as well.

The new program is a partner-ship between Kwantlen Poly-technic University and Guildford Town Centre, with funding by the BC Ministry of Advanced Education and Labour Market Development (ALMD).

Designed for businesses employing less than fty people, the GUESTS program consists of free basic skills training tailored to the needs of retail employees. Volunteer tutors are assigned and learning plans are made accord-ing to the needs of the business owners and their employees, as as-sessed by a skills assessment.

In the cur-rent economic downturn, business own-ers and workers alike now face greater challenges in doing business. Hardest hit are small businesses and those who work for them. They have less at their disposal to deal with the increased dif culty in doing business that the current situation entails.

Many of those small business-es are retail businesses, where the challenges - and the competition - are even harsher than before.

There are nine basic skills that the GUESTS program aims to develop, including those related to literacy (reading & writing),

numeracy (math), technological skills and intercultural competen-cies. Kwantlen’s regional literacy coordinator, Judith Mclean, says that the development of a num-ber of these skills is important in the multicultural environment at Guildford Town Centre, espe-cially in the areas of literacy and intercultural skills.

Training will consist of on-site classes as well as classes at facili-ties such as libraries and commu-nity centres. The employees will be taking these classes before and after their work shifts, as well as during slow business hours. The GUESTS program has also partnered with the Progres-sive Intercultural Community Services Society (PICS) and the

OPTIONS: Services to Communi-ties Society to provide supports to employees in the program. PICS will provide assistance in multiple languages, while the OPTIONS Society will provide child care services.

The issues of language barri-ers and child care are those that employees at Guildford Town Centre have cited most often as barriers to training, says Judith Mclean.

The GUESTS program will serve as a pilot program for future retail training initiatives

BY CHRIS YEECONTRIBUTOR

Kwantlen helps local business with GUESTS

in BC. It will run for nine months, and employees participating will be given skills assessments before and after the program’s course, in order to gauge the program’s effectiveness. Training materials developed for the GUESTS pro-gram will be adapted for future training programs, which may even serve larger businesses.

Judith Mclean says the pro-posed GUESTS program has been well received by business owners at Guildford Town Centre, many of whom wish to see their em-ployees advance in their careers and lives, as well as taking advan-tage of the free training offered by the program.Mclean also said that the GUESTS program is currently looking for

tutors. Ori-entation ses-sions were held on May 22nd and 23rd, with another set of sessions to take place on July 15th, 22nd and 29th. Initial volunteer training sessions will also be spread out during this time, to a total of nine hours.

Mclean expects the GUESTS program to commence once the month of July is out.

For more information about becoming a tutor, contact Brett Palmer (Co-Op Student/Regional Literacy Assistant) by phone at 604-599-2324 or by email at brett.palmer@kwantlen.ca.

For information about the project, contact Judith McLean (Regional Literacy Coordinator) by phone at 604-599-2324 or email at judith.mclean@kwantlen.ca.

RANDOM QUOTE:

“Jogging is very bene cial. It"s good for your legs and your feet.

It"s also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed.”

- Snoopy

Runner opt-outs Available now

Available Tuesday-Friday

10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.at the Runner’s Surrey office.

#205 - 12877 76th Avenue, Surrey, BC

Questions?778-565-3801

Remember to bring your proof of registration!

vol. 1 issue 8 | June 16, 2009 | page fourEditorial/Opinion

Creative WritingReformation!

Kwantlen Parking: Payment Without Progress

Lines are for suckers: Are you a sucker, too?

Summer his here. Did you notice? In any case, this is the time

when parents start taking their kids out for “family events.”

It’s when couples go to the Aquarium and to Playland and to the mall to buy matching bath-ing suits.

It’s when 400 twenty-some-things descend on the same movie theatre at the same time on opening weekend.

The time is now ripe for peo-ple to enjoy themselves. Summer is when everyone is everywhere all of the time. Crowds descend by the hundreds at all locations across the city, and that means

only one thing: lines.Lines galore. Lines for the bathroom, for

hamburgers, for roller coasters. Lines to ask questions about what that other line is for.

People wait passively and patiently while the line moves at a sloth’s pace towards its nal destination, wherever that may be.

It’s truly a beautiful thing to see humanity act so harmonious-ly in this way. Nowhere else does mankind work so well together than when waiting for the Tilt-a-Whirl. That old lady wants to go before you? Of course you’ll let her on rst. We’re all in this together folks!

Well, I say phooey. Lines are for suckers.

Case in point: at the Sasquatch festival earlier this year, there were massive lines leading to the portable toilets (they were called Honey Buckets, for your informa-tion). These lines were ridiculous – 20 minutes long at times.

I was caught in one of these while the pressure in my bladder pressed so aggressively against my lower abdomen that I could actually see it bulging. No exag-geration. It looked like an impa-tient fetus pushing for freedom.

Anyway, after waiting that rst fateful time, I walked into the Honey Bucket zone and saw dozens – maybe a hundred or more – portable toilets, all lined up like boutiques on Granville St., just waiting to be used. The line was useless – the smart ones just needed to walk to the front of the line, where the crowd turned impatient and aggressive, and walk right in. No waiting.

I did that a dozen times throughout the weekend. When I got back, I carried on with that behaviour. At the pool, at McDonald’s, at da club etc. I’d walk to the front of any line with authority and a positive attitude. I’d act like I was supposed to be there and most assumed I was.

If someone called me on my B.S., I’d give them an excellent excuse like, “I’m V.I.P.” I’m nice about it – there’s no need for confrontation.

My line-cutting abilities have earned me precious minutes of my life that I would have lost otherwise. I feel healthier. My skin is smooth, wrinkle-free. Line-cutting has turned me into the superior human being that I am today.

Just kidding. I was always like this.

The Runner is student-owned-and-operated by Kwantlen Polytechnic University students, published under Poytechnic Ink Publishing Society

Vol. 1, Issue no. 8June 16, 2009ISSN# 1916-8241

#205-12877 76 Ave.Surrey, B.C. V3W 1E6

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CO-ORDINATING EDITORStephen Smysnuik (interim)e"i$o&'&())e&&*+,-*

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Olympic-ticket buying a farce

!"#$%$&#'()*+),#CONTRI'(TOR

!"#-,+./+)#-&"-)0(1COORDINATING EDITOR

+%(,23($4

Show of hands for those who’ve taken a Creative Writing class?

Now, show of hands for those who’ve earned poor marks for a piece you feel was better than, say, a B-.

It happens all the time. The problem with grading creative writing is that art is completely subjective. What may strike one person as absolute garbage may strike another as an epic read.

Take James Patterson, novel-ist of such ripping yarns as !iss the (irls and +long /ame a 2pider. Literary critics nd his work hammy and disposable but his name frequently appears at the top of best seller lists. While the pipe ‘n’ slippers crowd prefer Salman Rushdie, Patterson is just ne for the average folks seeking some escape.

Of course, there’s a critical standard for “good” writing and “bad” writing, but “good” novels such as 6ride and 6re7udice typi-cally bore the socks off the vast majority, even if they don’t know

what constitutes good writing. Nevertheless, which books make the Top 10 year after year should be weighted by both critical analysis and imbecile analysis. Just like the Oscars.

The same should go for the grading system at Kwantlen’s Creative Writing department. In-structors are more educated than their pupils. And while they have more expertise in the eld, their opinions alone should not make up the whole of an individual’s mark. The rest of the class might love what the instructor thinks is shit.

So, the :unner advocates a new grading system for the depart-ment. Each piece is read by all students in the class, as well as the instructor.

Everyone grades each other’s writing, and 70 per cent of the mark is weighted on the instruc-tor’s grade, while the remaining 30 per cent is weighted in the class’ collective average. That way, the grade is a bit more rep-resentative of how effective the piece really is.

Last December, the Vancouver Olympic Committee gave hopeful Olympic attendees the opportu-nity to ‘win’ the chance to buy tickets for events at next year’s Winter Games.

I missed out on the lottery entirely, but found comfort in knowing that a second round would be released on the weekend

Parking on the Surrey campus has become a game of musical chairs during all but the summer semester.

The summer is a welcomed time on campus, as we no longer have mountainous mounds of snow covering a quarter of the stalls, and do not have to endure the off road experience of the over ow parking lot: an experi-ence that makes students con-

of June 5th. I logged onto the ticket-buying

site early Friday morning and found myself stuck in a ‘virtual waiting room’ that refreshed the page every 30 seconds.

After about an hour and a half, I nally found myself at the ticket-buying screen and of course, all of the tickets within my price range were gone.

No, I do not wish to pay $1,100 for an opening ceremony ticket. Even $175 is a lot, but at least it’s not half the cost of my car.

After another hour of scour-ing for any affordable tickets in anything remotely interesting, I logged off the site frustrated and without tickets.

Our schools are shut down for the Olympics, our parking lots are taken over for Olympic parking, but thanks to the fractured ticket-ing scheme, how many students will actually be attending the games?

sider buying an SUV to ensure they get their vehicle back after class. The over ow lot with its potholes, pools of mud, and individuals that believe that the roadway is one large parking stall makes parking interesting, to say the least.

We assume that the money we pour into the meters to avoid parking tickets would go towards improving parking, yet there is no progress.

Moreover, simply paying has become a task in itself. The over ow parking requires certain coins, and other meters simply do not work or have no paper to give you an all important receipt.

The receipt has become the golden ticket to remove “ac-cidental” tickets that seem to be given on random cars. I have been given a ticket after paying, and had to call Impark and be on hold for an hour to read them my receipt so that they would nullify the costly ne.

We seem to only be paying

!"#*/3(-#.22)MEDIA EDITOR

to avoid the inconvenience of a ticket and ll the pockets of Im-park and, to an extent, Kwantlen. Where is the progress?

There is a blatant disconnect between what we pay and the improvement of our parking facilities.

How is it that the days when seventy- ve cents bought you a whole day’s parking privileges had better parking maintenance than today’s four dollars? Will the over ow ever be paved and numbered?

Will the meters be maintained so that we do not have to search for a meter that works and/or hope that there is paper for a receipt for when we get that “accidental” ticket by Impark’s male meter maid who must be escorted by security?

We have worked to become an institution that is on par with UBC, SFU, UVIC and TWU, yet our parking facilities remain be-low par. There is a problem. Will it be xed, Kwantlen?

DEGREES OF SEPARATION:Jack Black to Johnny Depp

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!" $"%& S%()*N CONTRIBUTOR

Gossip BreakParis 1ilton dumps douchey Doug@Paris Hilton has finally come to her senses and dumped her loser boyfriend,

Doug Reinhardt. You may remember them making out and dry humping

in clubs, restaurants, bathrooms, cars, bushes and of course the streets.

Rumour has it that Doug was cheating on Paris with model Kendhal Beal.

%iAl Bayne loCes babies and EomenAccording to new reports, the lil rapper is going to be a father to two sons. Here is the best

part: he got two different women pregnant. Classy. Singer Nivea Hamilton and model Lauren

London are said to be carrying the Mini Waynes. Lil Wayne is rumoured to be marrying Nivea

in a few months but plans to participate in raising his baby with Lauren as well. With two kids

from a previous relationship, Lil’ Wayne has one busy weiner.

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vol. 1 issue + , June 16, 2003 , 4age si7!ews & 'olitics

ANNUAL CONTRIBUTORS - EDITORS MEETING

WHEN: Tuesday) *une ,-

WHERE: Runner 0ffice45-6 - 859:: :; Ave>Surrey) B>C>

WHAT: Elect the new editors) vote on contriHutors pay and vote on newspaper policies

FOLK FEST FIRST TIMERS!"e %an(ouve, -ol/ 0usi( -es3ival o44e,s a uni5ue se33ing 4o, 3"e pe,4o,8e,s an9 au9ien(e. ;i3"in 3"e 4es3ival g,oun9s 3"e,e a,e seven s3ages. <n ea(" s3age 3"e,e 8a= >e 3?o @ ! ve 9i44e,en3 a,3is3s pe,4o,8ing ei3"e, solo o, in (o8>ina3ion. !"e s3,u(3u,e gives 3"e a,3is3s 3"e oppo,3uni3= 3o in3e,a(3, pe,4o,8, an9 (,ea3e 8usi( 3oge3"e,.

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BY SARA LANYON "a9 a >lan/e3 s3olen o, 8ove9, an9 eve,=>o9= 3en9s 3o >e ,eJspe(34ul o4 =ou, spa(e.

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BY STEPHEN SMYSNUIK!"#"$%&'()&'*+,%&)"$

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Mountainfest

Merritt

July 9-12

Paul Brandt. George Canyon,

Kenny Chesney and a bunch of

naked drunk people in a river.

Vancouver Folk Fest

Jericho Beach, Vancouver

July 17-19

Iron & Wine, Steven Page, The

Proclaimers, The Weakerthans,

plus sunshine and the beach.

Shambala

Salmo River Ranch, Salmo

August 7-10

A bunch of people you’ve never

heard of, but it looks like fun.

Burnaby Blues + Roots Festival

Deer Lake Park, Burnaby

August 9

Smokey Robinson, Keb’ Mo’ &

Band, and a whole whack of blues

and roots artists.

Warped Tour

Thunderbird Stadium, Vancouver

August 14

Alexisonfire, Bad Religion, NOFX,

some piercings, mohawks, and

ripped tights.

Bumbershoot

Seattle Center, Seattle

September 5-7

Modest Mouse, Franz Ferdinand,

Jason Mraz, The Black Eyed Peas:

three days for $80.

Your guide to summer festivals

DELTADELTA

SURREYSURREY

LANGLEYLANGLEY

vol. 1 issue 8 | June 16, 2009 | page seven Culture

Summer: Best Enjoyed Frozen

Bellini

Enjoy the taste of B.C. peaches, wallowing in self-loathing, lamenting that you’re not in a real university like UBC.

! cups frozen peaches

1 tsp lemon juice

1 oz peach schnapps

Puree in a blender until smooth, then mix in:

3 oz champagne

Pina Colada

Coconut has a proportion of saturated fat that exceeds that of lard. Coconut: the fat fruit.

2 cups pineapple juice

! cups cream of coconut

1 cup light rum

3 cups crushed ice

Mix in blender until desired texture. Garnish with a maraschino cherry or pineapple spear.

Mango Lassi

Perfect for sipping on the patio while Mom interrogates your Indian friends for their butter chicken recipes.

1 mango, peeled and chopped.

" cup plain yogurt

" cup milk

" cup ice cubes

Blend until smooth. Optional: garnish with cardamon, toasted pistachios, or a dollop of yogurt.

Caramel Macchiato Frappe

Starbucks version: omit all but milk and ice, add strawberry powder, and look confused.

! cups strong coffee

3 tbsp sugar

2 cups ice

1 cup milk

# tsp vanilla extract

Blend, and top with whipped cream and caramel sauce.

Strawberry Margarita

Mm, booze.

1 oz tequila

" oz triple sec

" oz strawberry schnapps

2 oz frozen strawberries

1 oz lime juice

2 oz crushed ice

Sugar to taste

Blend and serve in a chilled glass.

Summer’s here, so sit back, put your feet up, soak up the sunshine and the forest fi re smog, and enjoy an ice cold glass of one of these fantastic frozen drinks! And then get back to your summer class, you poor, masochistic fool.

B" $ICTORIA A+MOND

What To Do and Where To Do ItHow to spend your summer in the Lower Mainland

Langley Farmer’s MarketEvery ThursdayKwantlen Langley CampusLocal vendors, organic food

Surrey Canada DayJuly 1stCloverdale AmphitheatreBif Naked and 54-40

Fusion Festival July 18-19Holland Park, SurreyWorld music, delicious food

Gay Pride ParadeAugust 2ndDowntown VancouverRainbows and short-shorts

PNEAugust 22 - September 7East Hastings, VancouverGambling, dirt bikes and pig races

Bard on the BeachMay-SeptemberVanier Park, VancouverShakespeare outdoors

Lantern FestivalJuly 25Trout Lake, VancouverBring a lantern, prance around

Night MarketMay to SeptemberVulcan Way, RichmondCheap knock-offs

Salmon FestivalJuly 1stSteveston,RichmondBBQ and festivities

Aboriginal DayJune 19Surrey Arts Centre, SurreyCultural arts and activities

Berry PickingJune to SeptemberVarious farms, LadnerMmmm berries

VANCOUVERVANCOUVER

RICHMONDRICHMOND

Procrastinate vol. 1 issue + | June 1/, 2009 | page eig78

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