VIP2 Leadership Leadership Responsibilities

Holding People Accountable • Starts with setting clear expectations • Intervening early when performance or behavior is

below expectations • Having “difficult conversations” • Ensure consequences are clear • Develop action plans as needed

• Recognizing people when behavior is above expectations

HAVING DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONSThe Uncomfortable, but Necessary Component of a VIP2 Work Environment

Types of “Difficult Conversations”

As a leader • Suspensions /

Termination / Layoffs • Performance issues • Personal issues

• Hygiene • Attire • Medical issues • Faith-based issues • Workplace

relationships • Behavior changes

As a peer • Personality conflicts • Conflicting agendas • Lack of teamwork • Gossip

As a direct report • Personality conflicts • Disagreement on performance • Lack of support • Personal issues • Harassment

• People often: • Procrastinate or avoid them completely

• Aren’t prepared if they do have them

• THE MOST IMPORTANT REALITY • Organizations/people suffer if these conversations don’t happen

The Realities Related to Difficult Conversations

“Get Awkward” Early!

Before The Conversation

CFO asks CEO: “What happens if we invest in

developing our people and they leave us?”

CEO: “What happens if we don’t, and they stay?”

By failing to prepare, you are preparing to

fail.”

BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

• Don’t Delay: Schedule the Meeting • Get it on the calendar!

• Be sensitive about time of day, week, etc.

• Explain why you want to meet • Don’t ambush them with a “surprise attack” meeting

• For example: “I want to discuss…”

• Your outburst in the sales meeting • The fact that we’ve been unable to reach a compromise on how to handle

monthly reporting • The conflict my work schedule is causing at home

Preparation Before the Conversation

• What is your purpose for having the conversation (what do you hope to accomplish)?

• A key thought process to run through before the meeting • What is the specific behavior(s) causing the problem? • What is the impact that the behavior is having on you, the team,

customers, or the organization? • Are you wrongly assuming intent?

• Have you contributed to the problem in any way?

Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Meet

• Are any “buttons” of yours are being pushed? • Are you more emotional than the situation warrants? • Any personal history being triggered?

• Are you going into the conversation with a positive attitude? • If you think it will be a disaster, it probably will be • If you want good to come of it, that will usually happen

• How might the person respond to the conversation? • Is he/she even aware of the problem? • If so, what might he/she try to “negotiate”?

Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Meet (cont.)

During the Conversation

• I have something I’d like to discuss with you that I think will help us work together more effectively.

• I’d like to talk about ____________ with you, but first I’d like to get your point of view.

• I need your help with what just happened. Do you have a few minutes to talk?

• I think we have different perceptions about _________________. I’d like to hear your thinking on this.

• I’d like to talk about ___________________. I think we may have different ideas about how to _____________________.

• I’d like to see if we might reach a better understanding about ___________. I really want to hear your feelings about this and share my perspective as well.

Potential Ways to Open the Conversation

• Understand the other perspective • Approach the conversation with a sense of inquiry rather

than “pre-judgment”

• Be open to hearing what the other person says beforereaching any closure

• Seek the truth!

• If you are discussing a mistake…try to understand any positive thinking that preceded the mistake

Tips for Handling Difficult Conversations

Tips for Handling Difficult Conversations• Manage emotions / emotional responses

• Silence • Don’t rush to fill silence with words • Silence can be the time where the message

is sinking in • Silence can calm the situation

• Tears • Acknowledge tears / don’t ignore them • Offer tissue, take a break

• Anger • Calm an angry employee • Use active listening • Watch your tone, volume, body language

Tips for Handling Difficult Conversations• Disarm any “ploys”

• The other person may try to “hijack” the conversation

• Common examples: Stonewalling, sarcasm, accusing others, etc.

• Disarm the ploy by calmly labeling the observed behavior

• “This is just BS!”

Ending The Conversation / Follow Up

• Don’t end without clearly expressed action items • What are you agreeing to do? • What is the other person agreeing to do? • When? • Double (triple) check that there is no confusion on this

• Schedule a follow up meeting

Tips for Handling Difficult Conversations

• Finish the job /Document the conversation • Day / time / place • Participants • The issue(s) • Expected actions • Time frame / action plan

Tips for Handling Difficult Conversations

An Example of A Difficult Conversation

“I Statements”Holding People Accountable

• I hold people accountable to my organization’s expectations for values / results • I strive to recognize and reinforce positive behavior immediately after it happens • I act with a sense of urgency to let people know when their performance or behavior is

below expectations • I meet privately with people to discuss performance concerns or other sensitive issues • I apply discipline consistently • I meet regularly with my people to discuss and document their performance • I encourage my team members to accept responsibility for changing their behavior • I work with people to create action plans for resolving issues • I clearly state the consequences of failing to meet expectations

QUESTIONS