unitedway achieversforlife mentortoolkitbig brothers big sisters is known throughout northeast...

United Way Achievers For Life

Mentor ToolkitHelping Duval County Public School’s middle school students stay on track for graduation

Partners inUnited Way Achievers For Life

Dear friends,

Welcome to Achievers For Life mentoring! Thank you for joining the ranks of many dedicated volunteers who are

helping Jacksonville’s middle-school students achieve academic success and personal development. Together, we

can build a stronger community one successful student at a time.

In the coming weeks, the generous gift of your time will help unlock the potential of children across our

community. We can all agree developing our young people into role models of tomorrow takes the guidance of a

caring adult today. I could not be more grateful for your willingness to participate.

As a mentor, you will benefit from a wealth of experience by partnering with caring organizations such as United

Way of Northeast Florida, Big Brothers Big Sisters of Northeast Florida, Communities In Schools of Jacksonville,

Duval County Public Schools, The Jacksonville Children’s Commission, and Jewish Family & Community Services.

Mentoring matters! Studies show your work make students more likely to go to college, become gainfully

employed and less likely to try drugs or skip school. In 2013/2014, 98 percent of our AFL sixth graders were

promoted to seventh grade on time. Your efforts will change lives.

This mentoring manual is designed to help you develop your mentoring relationship. Please find valuable

information on relationship building and activities for you and your mentee to work on together.

Thank you again for your commitment to the youth of Northeast Florida.

Michelle Braun

President and CEO,

United Way of Northeast Florida


Achievers For Life (AFL) is a strategy developed by the Helping Students Achieve Focus Issue Partnershipduring 11 months of research to determine the most strategic approach for United Way to address the drop-out rate in the Northeast Florida area.

AFL takes a unique four-part approach to support students in the lowest quartile. Referrals for the program are madeby the middle school faculty and staff for fifth or sixth graders. Fifth grade students are referred primarily for havingearned low test scores on iReady and Achieve3000 Assessments. Students with low math and language arts grades,poor behavior or attendance can also be referred by elementary-school principals.

Sixth grade students are referred primarily for low GPA (1.5 or below), poor behavior or excessive absences. Middleschool principals have the option to refer students who do not meet the criteria if the principal believes the studentand family will benefit from services. Since the initiative began, 2 percent of referrals have been principal option.

Achievers For Life Family Advocateswork with families of these students to identify family strengths and addressobstacles to their students’ success in school. Achievement Advocates are assigned to these students and supportvolunteer mentors who meet one hour each week to focus on specific areas of behavioral or academic need. FamilyAdvocates and Achievement Advocates are located at schools, able to assist you should any need or concern arise.

AFL students and families also receive mental-health services through Full Service Schools. Counseling is provided tostudents and families unable to be seen by Family Advocates due to capacity issues.

The Family Advocates are provided by Jewish Family and Community Services (JFCS).

Jewish Family & Community Services is one of the best known and most highly respected social-service agencies in theJacksonville area. JFCS provides a wide range of services and its staff are considered experts in engaging under-servedfamilies and providing needed resources and referrals. JFCS provides:• Supervision of Family Advocates by master’s level JFCS staff. • Nationally standardized assessments to identify family strengths.• Matching funds for family emergency assistance. • Monthly reports to United Way on services provided to families in AFL.• Parent Engagement efforts coordinated with school staff to promote participation in school activities.• Mental health services for adult family members and students who are unable to be seen by Full Service Schoolsdue to capacity issues.

The Achievement Advocates are provided by Communities In Schools of Jacksonville (CIS).

Communities In Schools is known throughout Duval County Public Schools for its commitment to mentoring students.CIS has strong community support and brings years of experience in working within the school system, building strongrelationships with school administrations and faculty. CIS provides:• Committed staff to work directly with AFL students.• Priority placement for AFL students in other CIS programs such as Student Enrichment Program and Team Up.• Monthly data on students to United Way for formative evaluation.• Student pairing with tutors, mentors and AmeriCorps reading coaches as needed.

The Mentor Advocates are provided by Big Brothers Big Sisters of Northeast Florida (BBBS).

Big Brothers Big Sisters is known throughout Northeast Florida as the nation’s largest donor and volunteer-supportedmentoring network. BBBS makes meaningful, monitored matches between adult volunteers (“Bigs”) and children(“Littles”). BBBS provides:• Committed staff to work directly with AFL students and volunteer mentors.• School and community-based mentoring.• Monthly data on students to United Way for formative evaluation.


TABLE OF CONTENTS

Getting To Know You

Conversation tips and activities to use with your mentee

Goal Setting

Discussion and worksheets on what goals are, how to select goals and

when to set them

Mindset

Discussion and activity around why mindset is important and how to

understand a mentee’s mindset.

Organization and Study Habits

Ideas to share with your mentee on getting organized and studying

effectively

Test-Taking Strategies

Tips and strategies to help your mentee prepare for taking tests

Getting To Know YouIt is important for you to break theice with your mentee. This is thebasis to develop and maintain atrusting and caring relationshipwith your mentee.

1. It Only Takes a Minute to Get to Know You

You and your mentee try to figure out how many things you have in common (that aren’t obvious) in one (or two orthree or five, etc.) minutes.

2. Mentoring Dictionary

Write five questions on a piece of paper. Questions might include the following:

n What is your name?

n Where were you born?

n How many brothers or sisters do you have?

n What are your siblings’ names?

n Do you have any pets?

Ask your mentee to write those same questions on a piece of paper and add five more questions he/she wants to askyou. Interview each other and record the responses. Then you, can each use the interview responses to write a"dictionary definition" of your partner to include in a Mentoring Dictionary. You might model this activity by creating asample dictionary definition about yourself.

3. Fact or Fib?

You and your mentee are going to share some information about yourselves. You’ll learn about some of yourbackgrounds, hobbies and interests from a 60-second oral "biography" you will present. Each of you should takenotes: As the other person speaks, you should record what you think are the most important facts being shared. Whenpresentations are finished, each of you should take turns sharing five things about yourself. Four of your statementsshould tell true things included in your presentation; one of your five statements is a total fib. Then, each of you givesthe other a “fib quiz.” This activity is most fun if some of the true facts are some of the most surprising things aboutyou and if the "fib" sounds like something that could very well be true.

Excerpted and/or adapted from www.education-world.com

Getting to know youACTIVIT IES FOR

FIRST MEETINGS OFMENTORS & MENTEES


4. Write Each Other a Letter

Write a letter to your mentee. In that letter, introduce yourself. Tell him/her about your hopes for the mentoringexperience and some of the fun things you’d like to do. In addition, tell them a few personal things about yourself: Forexample, include your likes and dislikes, what you did over the summer and your hobbies. Ask questions throughoutthe letter. You might ask what your mentee likes most about school, what they did during the summer, what theirgoals for the new school year are or what they are really good at. In your letter, be sure to model the correct parts of afriendly letter. During your initial meeting, show your mentee the letter and then pass them a sheet of stationery. Haveyour mentee write a return letter to you. In this letter, they will need to answer some of your questions and tell youabout themselves. This is a great way to get to know each other in a personal way.

5. People Poems

Each of you use the letters in your name to create an acrostic poem. For example, Bill could write:

n Big

n Intelligent

n Laughing

n Loud

Each of you must include words that tell something about yourselves. For example, your word could indicatesomething you like to do or a personality or physical trait. This activity is a fun one that enables you to learn how viewyourselves. Allow older mentees to use a dictionary or thesaurus. You might also vary the number of words for eachletter to expand the exercise.

6. Another Poetic Introduction

Use the form below (or create a variation) to create poems that describe yourselves:

Name ______________________

Title (of poem)_______________

I will never _______________,

I will never ________________,

and I will never ______________.

I will always ______________.

This activity lends itself to completed at the beginning of the mentoring year and again at the end ofthe year. You and your mentee will have fun comparing your responses to see how the student andresponses have changed.


Excerpted and/or adapted from Conversations On The Go: Clever Questions To Keep Teens and Grown-ups Talking by Mary Alice Ackerman

Conversations of the Mentoring Kind

QUESTIONS TO KEEP YOU & YOURMENTEE TALKING & LEARNING

By becoming part of Achievers For Life, you agreed to give your time to an important initiative that will shape the lookof our community, our educational system and the City of Jacksonville for years to come. While Achievers For Lifementors concentrate on the academic success of their students, the barriers to success in school – no matter whatgrade – are not just academic. There is a social and personal side today equally important, influencing a student onmany more levels than in the past. The challenge a mentor faces is two-fold: helping your mentee to excel in schoolwhile also giving them guidance on “fitting in” among their peers. It’s not easy sometimes, but asking your menteethe right questions and LISTENING to his/her answers is a great start.

I. Making Connections Conversations are really about creating and maintaining relationships. Search Institute, a not-for-profit organization,conducts research on activities and traits that help young people succeed. These attributes are better known asDevelopmental Assets. One way mentors can help the young student in our lives build assets is to intentionally engagethem in conversations— lots of them about all kinds of things any chance we get. By planning to spend an hour aweek with your mentee, you will have time for conversations about other things besides academics.

Building assets for and with mentees is not just about their parents or guardians; it is about all adults and all kids.What we know through Search Institute's research is the more caring adults young people have in their lives, thestronger and more successful they will become. This means you can have a huge impact on every young person withwhom you come in contact. So don't be shy; invite your mentee to join you for some conversation.

II. Tips for Making Conversation Work KEEP IT GOING. It's one thing to ask a question and sit back for the answer. It is another thing to really engage in aconversation. Ask follow-up questions or provide open-ended responses to keep the conversation going. Here are afew examples:

•"That's interesting. Tell me more."

•"You've really thought about this, haven't you?"

•"Are you saying ...?"

•"What experience led you to feel this way?"

Please remember: the idea is not to debate an answer but to learn more about your mentee. Acknowledging his/heropinion as valid, even if you don't think it is "right," shows respect. As a result, you show tolerance and are being non-judgmental. Belittling an answer or telling your mentee they are "wrong" will make the next conversation pretty toughto start— if there is a next one.


CONVERSATION DOESN'T HAVE TO BE "HEAVY." It is important to have conversations about subjects that matter to yourmentee, such as who are the most influential people in his/her life. It is also important to listen to why they like acurrent fad, music star or TV program. All conversations are meaningful when two people are truly engaged andinterested in one another's questions and answers.

BE PREPARED FOR THE UNEXPECTED ANSWER FROM YOUR MENTEE. You may ask a question and get an answer you didnot want or expect. Remember: the object in asking these questions is to be engaged, not to prove a point, win anargument or teach a lesson. If an answer bothers you (perhaps it doesn't reflect the values you hoped for), simplylisten and ask more questions about why your mentee thinks and feels that way. Suspend your own judgment, and letthem express their ideas and opinions. If you feel you need more information about their answer, try asking questionssuch as, "What makes you believe that?" or "Could you tell me more?" These questions could help you avoid “knee-jerk” judging.

LISTENING IS MOST IMPORTANT. Conversations with mentees are better when a mentor carefully practices the art oflistening. Through careful listening, we tell them we care about their thoughts, and we care about them. When you talkwith your mentee, it is extremely important to try not to judge them, not to tell them the answers, not to give them youropinion — unless it is asked for. Simply listen to your mentee.

TIMING CAN BE EVERYTHING. Young people can sometimes feel as if their whole day at school is filled with adultsasking them questions. If you ask a question that is met with silence or "the look," maybe this isn't the best time for aconversation. It could be that a question triggers a bigger issue for them, and they need some time to process it.Taking a “rain check” on a question is OK, but be ready to ask it when the situation is right.

ASK YOUR MENTEE THE SAME QUESTION AGAIN. You can ask the same question several weeks or years apart and getvery different answers. It is a great way for you to watch your mentee’s academic and social development and growth.

ENJOY THE EXCHANGE WITH YOUR MENTEE! Kids become wise at an early age. By intentionally engaging inconversations with them, we can learn a lot. Listen for their convictions and passions. Support their newly formingindependence. And be prepared to have the tables turned on you. Kids wonder about and question who we are underour adult exteriors, too!

III. Questions for Talking About

EXTERNAL ASSETS

SUPPORT• Name a relative of yours you admire. What makes this person admirable? • What was the nicest compliment you ever received from an adult? • Tell about your favorite teacher. • What is the most important quality you look for in a friend? • What school activity do you most wish you could be a part of? What holds you back? • Who are three people in your life you know you can always count on? Why did you choose them? • Which adults in your life have helped you become who you are? What did they do?

EMPOWERMENT • If you had to commit a year after high school to perform a service for you country, what would you do? • Name a person younger than you who looks up to you. How do you know he or she looks up to you? • Have you ever felt as if someone discriminated against you? How did you deal with it, or how would you deal with it now?

• Name four things you like best about yourself. • Complete this sentence: “One way I'd like to change the world is _____________.” • What are the best places to hang out in your community? If you could create the perfect hangout, what would you include?

• Do most adults have positive or negative views of teenagers? How could you let them know who you really are?

BOUNDARIES AND EXPECTATIONS • How do you feel when someone pushes you to do your best? • Are the rules at school fair? Which rules would you change and why? • Have you ever had a friend who you later realized was a "bad influence" on you? How did you handle it? • What are three things about you your friends would say make you a good friend to have? • Talk about a time when you really succeeded at something and surprised yourself. • In what ways do you wish you had more freedom? • What's the biggest mistake you've made so far in your life? What did you learn from it? • How does trust get broken? Can trust be repaired? • Do you think there are any positives from making mistakes? Why or why not? • If you could make three rules for parents, what would they be? Why?

CONSTRUCTIVE USE OF TIME • How will being on sports teams, clubs and study groups help you when you become an adult?• What is the silliest thing you've ever done in public?• When you spend time at home, what is your favorite thing to do? How could you arrange to do more of it? • Do you think it's important to have a separation between church and state?• What is your favorite family time together? • Good artists say they learned to excel at their craft by spending time practicing. Describe a time when practice paid off for you?

• What was the last time you were in a leadership position? Were you an effective leader? • When do you feel you need to get away from home? When is home an escape for you?

INTERNAL ASSETS

COMMITMENT TO LEARNING• What do you say if someone asks how you're doing in school? How do you know if you're doing well?• Describe a time when you gave something your best shot, and it still wasn't good enough. Why is it important to give something your best?

• In your school, are young people pushed too hard to succeed or not hard enough?• Of all of your classes this term, which one will help you the most in the real world?• Can you name a time when an outside speaker came to your school and left a lasting impression on you? What was the message he or she delivered?

• What's the way you learn best? Do you like to see something, read about it, hear it or practice it?• How can you find out more about your learning style?• Who most affects your attitude toward school?• What is a subject or topic that isn't taught in your school but you would really like to learn about?• How could your school make you feel more included in decision-making? Do you want to help make decisions that affect your school?

POSITIVE VALUES • Was there ever a time when you had to stand up for something you believed even when your friends weren't behind you 100 percent? What was it, and what did you learn from the experience?

• What four qualities will you look for in a life partner? • When you die and people are talking about your life, what do you hope they say about you? • How hard or easy is it for you to admit when you are wrong? Has this changed over time? • What are the benefits of being responsible? • Who do you choose to talk to when you need to make tough decisions about which way to live your life? • Who has been there for you? • Talk about the last time someone encouraged you.

• Are there any people hard for you to accept and respect? What about them makes them difficult to accept and respect?

• How do you handle the situation when someone lies to you? • Does equality mean everyone has to be the same? • What does integrity mean to you? • How old should people be, according to the law, before they drink alcohol? How old should a person be before he or she is sexually active? Why?

SOCIAL COMPETENCIES • Which has more impact: giving money to charities or giving time to charities? • At your school, what does it mean to be "popular?" What are the good and bad parts of being popular? • How do you actively work on being healthy? Physically? Mentally? Emotionally? • Have you ever gone through a difficult time with a friend? What was going on, and how did you resolve the situation?

• Where does hate come from? Is it possible to overcome it? • Do you think adults judge young people who have tattoos, nose rings or purple hair? How could this change?

• Part of being a parent is talking with your children about risky behaviors. What is the best way for adults to talk with kids about this stuff?

• What is one thing about your cultural heritage you are really proud of?• Name three things you really, really believe in that might surprise people. • What are the top three pressures facing you now?

POSITIVE IDENTITY • If you could change lives with someone, who would it be? Why?• When people first meet you, what do you think they see? What do you wish they would see in you?• What does it take to be a leader? Do you think you are a leader? Who do you think is a good leader?• Name three things that made you smile today.• What are five words people would use to describe you? What words would you use?• What will your life be like when you are 30 years old?• If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? How would that change affect your life?• What do you need in life to be a truly happy person?• What stresses you out the most? How do you deal with it?• What makes you proud of your family members?• How do you know your life has a purpose? Do you get to choose this purpose, or is the purpose something you're supposed to discover?

• How often do you have doubts about yourself?• Who needs you?


TOOLS FOR MENTORING ADOLESCENTSMAKING THE MOST OF MENTORING AN ADOLESCENT

So you’re mentoring a teen? Congratulations! You’ve embarked on an important and potentially very fulfilling journey.You can be a good friend to a person at a critical stage of their development. And you can get a lot of development, too.

But there will also be times when you’ll think you were pretty crazy to take this on. Adolescents are, by nature,unpredictable. They can’t help it their brains are still developing, especially the parts that will eventually help themcontrol their impulses and make consistently rational choices. Right now, they are hard-wired to be reactive andemotional.

On the other hand, most teens have matured to the point where they have the capacity to, at times, be incrediblythoughtful, creative, compassionate and sensible. And fun! They are beginning to understand themselves asindividuals in relationships, their communities and the world.

As with many of the potentially great experiences in life, you’re probably in for a roller-coaster ride. If you are readyand willing, you can hang on and enjoy the thrills, spills and steady times in between! Here are some tips to make itworth the price of admission.

A Place to StartBegin by building mutual trust and respect with yourmentee. That includes setting reasonable boundaries andhaving good communication. In addition, a study of adultswho work with adolescents (that includes you, a mentor!)found adults who are most trusted and respected do thefollowing:1

• Make it clear they see potential rather than problems in the young people they encounter.

• View the young person, not the “activities” they do with the young person, as the priority.

• Convey a sense of power and purpose for themselves and for the young people around them.

• Are authentic and real, not phony, with a genuine interest in and concern for young people.

• Are motivated to give back to their communities, neighborhoods, families and organizations in return for the good things they received from caring adults when they were young.


Makes You ThinkToday’s teens live in a very different world than thosebefore them. But some things, such as some adults’negative perceptions of adolescents, haven’tchanged much. Check out this quote from Socrates, aphilosopher, mentor and teacher from the fifthcentury B.C.E.

“Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners,contempt for authority; they show disrespect fortheir elders and love chatter in place of exercise;they no longer rise when elders enter the room; theycontradict their parents, chatter before company;gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.”

The truth is that adults and youth are different, butthat doesn’t mean adults are right and youth arewrong.

Try ItTell your adolescent mentee what makes lifemeaningful to you, and find out what’s meaningful toyour mentee. You may learn something interesting andmay each be pleasantly surprised by what you hear.

1 Mclaughlin, M., Irby, M.A., & Langman, J. (1994). Urban Sanctuaries: Neighborhood Organizations in the Lives and Futures of Inner-City Youth (Jossey-Bass).Created by Search Institute® for Mentoring Partnership of Minnesota. Copyright © 2007 by Search Institute, Minneapolis, Minnesota (www.search-institute.org). Thishandout may be reproduced for educational, non-commercial use only (with this copyright line). All rights reserved.

From Good to GreatIn order to be a great and not just a good mentor to your adolescent mentee, you’re going to have to take basicactivities to the next level. You’re going to have to give something of yourself and expect certain things of your mentee.Here are some suggestions from Mentoring for Meaningful Results by Kristie Probst:2

1. Have a heart-to-heart about the ups and downs in every relationship, and stress that they are normal. The key is to understand it and intentionally find ways to avoid a downward spiral from which it could be difficult to rebound.

2. Make plans together. Brainstorm things that you’d like to do together. One match decided that at every visit they would take turns picking something totally spontaneous to do, and there could be no griping or whining about it.

3. Set goals for your relationship.Make a timeline for all the activities you’ll do over the next year. Throw in some really outrageous activities as well as some of your standard, tried-and-true activities. If you live in a rural area, consider an activity that gets you to a bigger city, or vice versa.

4. Empower your mentee to share her or his thoughts and feelings — it’s crucial. A natural pitfall for mentors is that they feel obligated to impart wisdom or advice to their mentee. Often, what adolescents need most is to have their mentors listen and empower them to work through problems on their own.

5. Be sensitive to your mentee’s developmental stage and personal story. Don’t presume to know what is going on in your mentee’s life. Today’s young people are often dealing with a different set of issues than you may have faced in your youth. Things may be happening that are impacting how your mentee responds to yourrelationship. Let her or him know that you are there to support, and not judge, no matter what.

What Can You Do Right Now?Here are four categories of things you can do today, tomorrow, later this week and beyond to strengthen yourmentoring relationship:3

1. Academic Support• Help with homework (but don’t just do it yourself!).• Work with your mentee’s school or your mentoring program to find a tutor, if your mentee would like one.• Help your mentee think about education beyond high school. Talk about and even visit places like trade

schools, colleges, business schools and other organizations.

2. Career Exploration• Find out what your mentee is curious about in terms of careers.• Help arrange job shadowing for your mentee or for both of you.• Encourage and help with Internet research about various careers.• Together with your mentee, conduct informational interviews with people in careers of interest.

3. Social Experiences• Take your mentee out of their neighborhood and into yours. Be a tourist in your own town.• Expose your mentee to as many cultural and recreational experiences as you can (explore each other’s

cultural background).

4. Emotional Support• Show attention and concern — support that many mentees may lack in other parts of their personal environment.• Be someone who will actively listen, and give your mentee your full attention.• Be someone your mentee can confide in (monitor your natural tendency to make

assumptions, and try to see things from your mentee’s point of view).


2 Search Institute, 2005, 3 Spirit of Mentoring, Robin Cox (2005)Created by Search Institute® for Mentoring Partnership of Minnesota. Copyright © 2007 by Search Institute, Minneapolis, Minnesota (www.search-institute.org). Thishandout may be reproduced for educational, non-commercial use only (with this copyright line). All rights reserved.

TOOLS FOR MENTORING ADOLESCENTSBUILDING TRUST & ATTACHMENT WITH YOUR MENTEE

Every mentoring relationship cycles through phases as it matures. These phases tend to come in order, but there aremany times when you’ll feel you’ve looped back or jumped ahead.

Phase 1: Beginning the RelationshipEarly on, you and your mentee will be testing the water with each other. Your mentee may feel nervous or wary andmay be on his/her best behavior for you. They may also get frustrated if things don’t go as expected. You, on the otherhand, may want to “fix” everything. You may find yourself adjusting your initial expectations about being a mentoronce you’ve experienced it for real. Both of you may be trying to bridge each others’ age, cultural and lifestyledifferences as well as finding things in common.

Strategies • Be consistent and reliable.• Show you are willing to listen.• Focus on doing things with rather than for your mentee.• Be aware of your own feelings about age, cultural and lifestyle differences.• Be nonjudgmental.• Reach out. Be available.• Be open and honest about what you can, cannot or have to do.

Phase 2: Building TrustNow that the two of you know each other better and have some shared experiences, you and your mentee mayexperience greater trust. Your mentee may be opening up, having more self-esteem or simply feeling more confidentbecause you have demonstrated you care. As a result, your mentee may begin sharing more information and perhapsrelying on you more for support and validation. In this stage, there is the possibility of your mentee becoming overdependent on you. You feel overwhelmed by the issues and needs of your mentee, or you may feel more satisfactionwith the relationship.

Strategies • Be patient.• Expect setbacks.• If you think your mentee is becoming too dependent,

set limits around the frequency and duration of visits and encourage him/her to broaden his/her support network.

• Be involved yet keep perspective. • Continue to be consistent and reliable.


Makes You ThinkResearch by Search Institute (www.search-institute.org) shows only 20 percent of young peoplethink adults in the community value youth. You canstrengthen your mentoring relationship bydemonstrating how much you value your mentee’sideas, perspectives and companionship!

Created by Search Institute® for Mentoring Partnership of Minnesota. Copyright © 2007 by Search Institute, Minneapolis, Minnesota (www.search-institute.org). Thishandout may be reproduced for educational, non-commercial use only (with this copyright line). All rights reserved.

• Continue to treat your mentee as capable.

Phase 3: Testing the RelationshipNow that rapport and trust are built, it is typical for the mentee to start testing boundaries, perhaps to see just howmuch staying power the relationship really has. This testing may include inappropriate requests of you, or evenresentment or hostility toward you. You may start resenting what seems like negative behavior, and you might alsofeel caught in the middle between your mentee, your mentee’s family and other service providers.

Strategies • Don’t take testing personally. • Reinforce limits, if necessary. • Again, continue to treat your mentee as capable. • Reaffirm your intention to remain in the relationship.

Phase 4: Increasing IndependenceOnce you have come through the trust building and relationshiptesting, you may find your mentee becoming less dependent onyou and finding other sources of support. On the upside, youmight see an increased self-worth in your mentee. However,setbacks are still possible during this stage as your mentee maytake bigger risks in life and in the relationship. As a result of allthis, you may feel discouraged or less needed during this stage.

Strategies • Point out the shifts you are observing in behavior, and

reinforce your mentee’s efforts to seek support from others. • Continue to support your mentee while encouraging

independence.• Expect some setbacks as a natural part of this stage.



Try ItResearch shows that empowering your mentee toselect activities you’ll do together is one factor thatcontributes to a strong, successful match. At yournext visit, create two “idea jars,” one filled with low-cost things you’d like to do, the other filled withlow-cost things your mentee would like to do.

Then, draw and do one activity from each jar at eachvisit.

When a Mentoring Relationship EndsMentoring relationships evolve over time, andsome eventually come to an end. Whatever thereason, it’s important to talk with your menteeabout the time you spend together, theexperiences you had, things you learned, whatyou liked and didn’t like, and so on. Ifappropriate, leave your mentee with some sort ofmemento, even just a note or greeting card, ofyour time together.

TOOLS FOR MENTORING ADOLESCENTSWHAT’S HOT? WHAT ’S NOT?

Understanding each other’s worlds and cultures is important for the development of a meaningful mentoringrelationship. This worksheet can help you brainstorm with your mentee about “What's Hot? What's Not?” with today'syouth and adults. You can share your own preferences and tastes now or when you were your mentee’s age. You mightfind you have some surprising similarities and/or some major differences.



FASHION

MUSIC

ENTERTAINMENT(Movies, books, games, etc.)

HAIRSTYLES

FOOD

LANGUAGE(especially slang)

OTHER

MENTEE’S PEERS MENTOR’S PEERS MENTEE’S PEERS MENTOR’S PEERS

WHAT’S HOT? WHAT’S NOT?

Goal SettingGoals help teens define what isimportant and teach them how toset priorities.

This worksheet can be used on a weekly basis to keep students focused on their short-term goals.

1. What was the high point of the week?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. Who did you get to know better this week? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3. What was the major thing you learned about yourself this week?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

4. Did you institute any major changes in your life this week?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

5. How could this week have been better?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

6. What did you procrastinate on this week?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

7. Identify three decisions or choices you made this week.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

8. What were the results of these choices?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

9. Did you make any plans this week for future events?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

10. Unfinished business?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

GOAL SETTING


WEEKLY

SHEET

What is a goal?You set a goal whenever you say, "I want to..." Your goal might be you want to get a dog or you want to learn to danceor play football well. Maybe you want to get better grades at school.

Why are goals important?When you have a goal, it makes you feel full of energy. Having a goal makes you feel good about yourself and abouteverybody else. It makes life much more fun!

When is a goal a good goal?It's always good to have a goal. But there are ways to make goal-setting even more fun! Here is a list of four things thatmake a good goal:

1) A good goal says EXACTLY what you want.For instance, you might say, "I want a pet." That's not a precise goal, is it? If you said, "I want a dog," that would be abetter goal. But suppose you said "I want a dog, a little bit smaller than me with brown and black fur, big pointy earsand a nice long tail," then that would be an excellent goal. This is because you are saying exactly what you want.

2) A good goal says WHEN you want it.If your goal is "I want to get good grades at school," to make it a better goal, you would say something like: "I want toearn grades one grade higher than ones I earned in my last report card. I want to achieve this by the time I get my nextreport card." That way, you're saying exactly what you want, and you're saying exactly when you want it!

3) A good goal is when you BELIEVE it.If you said, "I want to learn to fly like a bird," that's not a good goal because you can't believe it – you know you don’thave wings! But if you say, "I want to learn to hang-glide next summer," then that's a good goal because you know it ispossible and can believe in it!

4) A good goal says HOW you're going to get it.To have a good goal, you need to make a plan. This is great fun! The plan will be different for every goal because everygoal is special. You will need a big piece of paper. This is how to create your plan:

GOAL SETTING


Plans for Goal Settinga) Write out your goal at the top of the page. When you write it, pretend you are already in the process of achieving itnow! For instance, you might write, "I’m going to get a dog," or "I’ll play football better." There is a part of your braincalled the lower brain, and this part thinks about your goal all the time, even when you're thinking about somethingelse. This part of the brain doesn't understand about "now" and "later." So you must write your goal as if you'reachieving it already, so the lower brain can understand it.

b) Under your goal, write why you want it. Try to think of as many reasons as you can! If you write, "I want to learn toget better grades in school to please my mom and dad," that's very good. But it would be even better to write, “I wantto get better at school to please my mom and dad, make school more fun and help other children with their lessons.And then I’ll be able to do whichever job I want!” If you wrote that many reasons, then your goal will be so special –nothing will stop you from getting it!

c) Next, write when you want your goal. This could be a week, two weeks or even a year!

d) Now, you need to write down exactly what you need to do to achieve your goal. To do this, work backwards. Thatmight be to do your homework as soon as you get home each day.

It’s often a good idea to ask mom and dad for help with making your plan. Maybe they had similar goals in the pastand can suggest steps to help you complete your plan.

What if I don't get my goal the first time?It doesn't matter!

Thomas Edison, the man who invented lightbulbs, tried thousands of ways to make lightbulbs before he found a waythat worked.

Each time he tried something and it didn't work, Edison thought "I've learned another way not to make a light bulb!"He was happy because he did learn something. He then tried a new way until he reached his goal of making alightbulb!

We must remember:

1) Always look for what you can learn when something doesn't work.

2) Never give up! You will get your goal in the end.


Brought to you by http://www.kidsgoals.com. © http://www.kidsgoals.com

Action Plan For ______________________________________(Student’s Name)

Goals: A goal must be realistic and measurable.

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How will I achieve my goal?____________________________________________________________________________________________________

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When will I reach this goal? _______________________________________________________________

GOAL WORKSHEET


Date:

Plan for:

Based on the information gathered through the application and interview process, the followingstrengths have were identified:

The following opportunities for improvement were identified:

Goal(s):

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Suggested strategies to achieve the goal(s) are, but not limited to, the following:

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Have fun! Let’s make this year a BIG success!


Youth Outcomes Development Plan

MindsetAs students grow and develop, itis important they understand theirintellectual abilities. The growthmindset teaches students to learnmore, work hard and achievesuccess in a way that recognizestheir strengths.

Mindset IntroductionWhat is Mindset, and why is it important?Mindset is a simple idea discovered by world-renowned Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck throughdecades of research on achievement and success — a simple idea that makes all the difference. Dr. Dweck realizedthere are two mindsets: a fixed mindset and a growth mindset.

In a fixed mindset, people believe their basic qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits thatcannot be changed. They also believe that talent, without effort, creates success.

In a growth mindset, people believe their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work —brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and resilience essential for greataccomplishment. Virtually all people who achieved top performance had these qualities. Research shows people withthis view reach higher levels of success than people with fixed mindsets.

Teaching a growth mindset creates motivation and productivity in the worlds of business, education and sports. Itenhances relationships and increases achievement.

How can you support a growth mindset in your mentee?The most important thing you can do to help your mentee instill a growth mindset is to praise them for effort ratherthan talent. Messages such as, “You learned that so quickly! You’re so smart,” teach the student effort is a sign ofweakness and they either are or aren’t smart. If they encountered difficulty in the future, they wouldn’t know how todeal with it. Instead, messages such as “I like the way you approached that problem,” or “Good job to hang in thereand find a strategy that worked,” or “That seemed to be too easy for you — let’s do something more challenging,”teaches kids that effort is something we can all benefit from to reach our full potential, and tthey need to be workingpurposefully in order to grow.

Growth Mindset Activity — Learn the Basics


MINDSET!

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Materials Needed:Index Cards 1 Blue Marker1 Green Marker

Directions: Give student examples of growth vs. fixed mindsets. Write growth mindsetstatements in green, i.e. “I believe you can change your intelligence,” or “I like working hardto learn something new,” and write fixed mindset statements in blue, i.e. “I would rather dosomething easy and not make mistakes than work hard to learn something new,” or “Youcannot change how smart you are.” Have students separate the cards into “Me” and “NotMe” categories. Then, have them count up all of the blue and green in the “me” category.Discuss together why the student chose those comments for themselves. This will lead toincredible dialogue. The students begin to look at themselves through a different lens, and they begin to see themselves as learners.

Organization andStudy HabitsBeing organized is a tool that willhelp mentees as they grow intoadults. Good study habits areessential for mentees’ academicsuccess. The habits they developnow will not only impact theirmiddle-school career but alsotheir adult life, as they will usethese same skills in college andthe workforce.

We all organize in our own way. You have todecide which way of organizing is easiest and best foryou. Below are tips and ideas that can help you decidehow to better organize your items for school:

• Color code notebooks and book covers by subject area.

• Use large rubber bands to hold books and folders together by subject area.

• Have a special folder place for homework and notes to parents. Carry this folder to all classes and home every day.

• Write the titles of subjects on the spines of the textbooks.

• Place all books so they face the same direction.

• Put books in chronological order to your class schedule.

• As you finish a class, put the books, papers and homework assignments you need at home in your backpack. That way, at the end of the day, you are already packed to go home.

• Have two backpacks, one for “A Day” and one for “B Day.”

• Have a separate project folder to keep all your project information and papers together in one place.

• Check each morning to be sure you have pencils, pens, paper and other class supplies to take to class.

• Keep all papers neatly in folders so they don’t get crinkled.

• Use a zippered binder to carry materials to classes so items do not fall out.

• Keep binders and folders organized. Periodically, such as after a unit of study or nine weeks, take home your folders to clean them out.

How do I remember everything?• Purchase or create an agenda book.

• Write assignments in your agenda as soon as you get them on the day they are due! Look ahead in your agenda to see what assignments are coming up. If it is a big project, then break it down into parts and make your own due dates for each part. Write them in your agenda to keep you on schedule and to keep you from procrastinating.

• At the end of each day, read your agenda to be sure you have what you need to study or complete homework.

ORGANIZATION TIPSBY MIDDLE-SCHOOL STUDENTS

FOR MIDDLE-SCHOOL STUDENTS


Adapted from: Ann Algier, Everything You Need To Know About Learning©Academic Skills Center, Dartmouth College 2001

ACTIVE STUDY!

A. IntroductionLearning takes time. Very few people have photographic memories. Learning requires meaningful repetition. This iswhy active study techniques are so vitally important. The "recording disk" of the brain accepts new material muchfaster if it hears, sees, feels, tastes and detects motion (kinetic energy) during input or recording time. The more timesaround the learning circuit, the longer lasting the impression. If you are able to place abstract ideas into diagrammaticform, you will remember the concept.

B. MnemonicsMaterial difficult to master can be organized by finding key words in each point, noting the first letter and arrangingthe letters into a sense or nonsense word (the sillier, the better). Examples:

1. What are qualities of a scientist? (mnemonic answer: PIPOC)PerseveranceIntelligencePatienceOriginalityCuriosity

2. Why did the U.S. enter World War I? (mnemonic answer: SPRENCZ)Submarines, Germans lifted restrictions on use ofPropaganda, British control ofRussians overthrew the tsarEconomic ties of U.S. with Britain and FranceNeutrality, German violations of U.S.Cultural ties with BritainZimmerman telegram

Note: In the second example, the student has devised a mnemonic based on key words. If you have a basic understanding ofeach point, you should be able to write a complete essay from the mnemonic SPRENCZ. The first example, however, representsthe type of mnemonic a student could use to learn a short list of items for an objective test. If you need to memorize a long listof items such as the states in the union, alphabetize and learn in small chunks. You can always depend on the alphabet. Breakdown a list, rearrange, put on a study card and master. In the example of learning the states in the union, it is easier toremember there are four states whose names begin with "A," no "Bs," one "D," etc., then to try to memorize the list.


C. Study CardsIn printing study cards, the student is using kinetic energy (energy inmotion), thus making the impression stronger on the brain; the studentwill be able to use the cards for overlearning. Another reason for havingstudents make study cards is the cards are convenient to carry and flipthrough for mastery. Reading the cards silently, however, is too passive.Go over the cards orally. A student will not master the cards by passivelyreading them. Learning requires the expenditure of energy. The studentmust be actively engaged in producing the sounds, using muscles andburning energy to make the sound.

D. Memory1. General points to consider:

a. The student must focus his or her attention on whatever needs to be remembered. If you intend to remember something, you probably will.

b. The student must be "sold" on the course. Why is this subject worth knowing? Correlative reading may enhance the student's interest. For example, historical novels are a marvelous way to learn history. The greater the knowledge, the greater the interest.

c. Help the student classify and associate. Many authorities feel you will master information faster if you learn in groups of seven or fewer at a time.

d. Have the student overlearn through repetition.

2. Association is a key to memory:a. You remember approximately 10 percent of what you read.b. You remember approximately 20 percent of what you hear.c. You remember approximately 30 percent of what you see.d. You remember approximately 50 percent of what you hear

and see together.e. You remember approximately 70 percent of what you say (if

you think as you are saying it).f. You remember approximately 90 percent of what you do.

How To Avoid Cramming For Tests

I. Learn the material. You must learn the material first before you can review it.

II. Review early. Before you attempt to learn new material in class or through reading, glance over previous chapters or notes and recall what you already know.

Immediately after learning, review your notes. Order and organize what was learned using whatever works for you.

III. Review often. Space your review sessions. Do not review more than 20 minutes in a 60-minute setting. This avoids fatigue, strengthens previous learning, and increases motivation and better concentration.

IV. Review before your exams. Remember, your final review is a REVIEW, not a cramming of unlearned material. Try reciting what you know, either by writing it or saying it out loud to yourself or to a friend.


Test-TakingStrategiesLearning proper note taking,studying and test-takingstrategies are a vital part ofimproving grades on exams aswell as academic success overall.

One Week Before Test

Gather all material for test:

• Notes you took in class.

• Textbook.

• Old tests.

• Homework.

Each Day

• Review previous material.

• Study any new portion.

Day Before Test

• Compose a master study sheet.

• Take a practice exam.

Day of Test

• Conduct final review of study guide.

• Go to test confidently.

• Be prepared with necessary tools.

• Avoid peers who will make you nervous.

During the Test

• Glance over the entire test.

• Read the directions carefully.

• Start with the easiest questions.

After the Test

• Reward yourself.

• Review test items you were uncertain about.

HOW DO I SHOW WHAT I KNOW?

t e s tt a k i n g strategies


Test-Stress Worksheet

1. I do/don’t (circle one) feel stressed about tests because:

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2. If I start to feel stressed out a few days before a test, these are some ideas that might help:

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3. If I start to feel stressed out in the middle of taking a test, these are some ideas that might help:

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4. The next time I finish a big test, I’m going to reward myself by:

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‘Twas the night before testing...

• Go to bed on time.

• Put a few No. 2 pencils with erasers in your backpack.

• Solve family/friend problems before the testing date.

• Talk to your parents about concerns you might have about the test.

The morning of testing

• Start your day as you always do.

• Eat a good breakfast.

• Think of what you will do to relax after you get home from school.

• Think positive!

Multiple choice questions

• If you do not understand the directions, ask for help.

• Read the question and all answer choices before marking anything.

• Do not change your answers unless you are very uncertain about your first answer choice.

• Try to answer every question. Make the most intelligent guess you can.

Pace yourself

• Don’t spend too much time on any one question. Do your best, and then move on.

• Answer the easiest questions first, but be sure to go back to those questions you skipped.

The process of elimination

• After you went through all of questions once, go back to the tough unanswered questions you have some knowledge about and eliminate choices you know are incorrect.

• If you can eliminate two wrong answers, your chance of choosing the right answer is greater.

Answering questions

• Don’t guess blindly, but if you have time to think about the best answer choice, do it!

Skip, return, check

• If you finish early, check to make sure you answered all questions.

Key words

• Find key words or phrases in the question that will help you choose the correct answer.

STRATEGIES FOR TAKING TESTS

t e s t i n g ,t e s t i n g …1 2 3


Are we communicating?

• Make sure you understand what the question is asking.

• Be sure you are responding to the question being asked.

Reading passages

• If the test requires you to read passages and then answer questions about what you read, read the questions first.

• Doing this, you will know what you are looking for as you read. This also helps you go faster on the test.

• When there are several questions about a reading passage or chart, look for clues in other questions that will help you with those items about which you are unsure.

Math computation

• When using scratch paper on a math test, double check to make sure you have copied the problem correctly from the test booklet.

• Line up place value correctly on your scratch paper (thousands, hundreds, tens, ones), or the answer will be incorrect.

• If your answer does not match one of the choices, reread the problem, recopy the numbers, and try solving it again.

A matter of time

• If any time remains, spend it on those questions about which you know nothing or almost nothing.

• As you go back through, do not change all answers.

• Remember: your first guess is usually right.

• Don’t spend too much time rewriting or obsessing about neatness.

• Don’t worry if you run out of time.

Final tips

• Fill in bubbles fully, write neatly, and erase stray marks.

• Double-check the test number in your test booklet against the answer sheet every few questions to be sure you haven’t filled in the wrong number.

The death grip

• If your arm tires during testing, it is probably due to the grip you have on your pencil.

• Relax the grip, and give those muscles a break.

• Do not do arm exercises during testing as, this mightdisturb others.

Thank you, Mr. Know-it-all!

• Remember: it’s OK not to know everything — unlike class tests, these tests will have questions designed to challenge the limits of your knowledge at a grade level above your current grade.


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